Updates from Costa Rica! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and signed up for alerts. I have limited Wi-Fi, so no time to go through my e-mails to thank everyone individually, but know that you are loved mucho 3. Lemme know what you think, dearies! I enjoy reading your thoughts and opinions. This chapter is really long and has many different points of view. Too maaaaannnnnnyyyyy things happening, but then nothing really happens hahaha
Kyle tried to talk to other girls besides Bebe throughout the day. He had his regular 5th hour class with Red and Nichole, Token's ex-girlfriend. He had asked them about the stinky list. They giggled, but wouldn't give him a direct answer.
He didn't want to ask Wendy, but at this rate, he might have to. There was still a possibility he was imagining things.
After the final bell rang, he packed his things into his backpack. He used both hands to carry the baby carriage so the handle would be chest level. The baby hadn't cried as much today. That was a plus. Kyle would also need to talk to Mr. Garrison about this assignment at some point.
He walked out the double doors and found the white van. Tweek's dad used it when he went to a coffee packaging plant in Denver. It gave him an excuse to get away for the day and stock the coffee shop. He was as restless as Tweek, and didn't want to wait the three+ days it took for the coffee to be shipped and delivered.
Tweek's dad was standing by the van with Token, Clyde, and Tweek. "Hi, Mr. Tweak," Kyle greeted.
"Why, hello, Kyle. Are you excited to go to Casa Bonita?"
"Nah, Casa Bonita's lame. I want a break from these dolls though. Are you coming with us?" Kyle didn't see Tweek's mom anywhere. He didn't see how Mr. Tweak would be getting home.
"Token offered me a ride home in his Porsche. I've never ridden in one before."
"Speaking of, are you ready to go, Mr. Tweak? We want to beat everyone else to Casa Bonita." Clyde was jumping up and down in the passenger seat. Everything was a game to him.
"Dude, get in the back with Chink." Token said as he climbed into the driver's seat. Clyde pouted but obliged. Mr. Tweak took his spot.
"I'll see you boys later!" he called before Token sped off.
"Shotgun!" Kyle jumped into the pedo-van's passenger seat. He didn't want to be in the backseat with everyone when Stan would be driving.
Within the next few minutes, the other boys, Bebe, and Wendy came out of the school. The only person missing was Kenny. After everyone was situated in the back of the makeshift coffee truck, and after many minutes of Cartman complaining, Kenny finally showed up. He didn't walk out of the school though. He was walking from the entrance to the school grounds. He was carrying a big back pack and his and Craig's doll strapped to his chest. Butters slid the door open for him, and Kenny jumped into the van.
"'Bout time, Kiiinny!" Cartman sat opposite Kenny and beside Wendy. He had his legs pulled to his man-boobs. Kenny grinned and didn't say anything. Kyle glanced at Stan. Stan shrugged and off they drove.
~%~%~%
"And where would you like to go, Miss Daisy?" Token said in the most Southern voice he could muster.
"This isn't funny, Token! Let me up front!" Token's Porsche was a two-door. Mr. Tweak was so excited to have ridden in a Porsche, he ran into the coffee shop to tell his wife. He slammed the door before Clyde could get out. Clyde couldn't reach the handle to get out of the car.
"Now, Miss Daisy, I would nevah, nevah joke witcha like that."
"Token, this is more racist for you than it is for me..." Clyde threw his back against the seat and crossed his arms across his chest.
~%~%~%
Token and Clyde beat the van to the restaurant/play place. Clyde was leaning against the hood of the tiny car. He didn't look happy. Token was holding the doll and waggling his fingers in front of his face as if he could actually see the things dangling in front of him.
Before the van even stopped, the side door flew open. Wendy was the first one to stop, drop, and roll. The rest poured out after her. Cartman stood in the door laughing and pointing at everyone.
"Your face, Kiiiinny!" Stan parked the van next to To`ken's car. He, Kyle, and Cartman stepped out of the van. Kyle and Stan's shirts were covering their noses.
"Dude, did you shit in there?" Token asked. He could practically see the fumes coming out of the car.
"Mmm, nope." Cartman grinned.
"Fatass was so excited about Casa Bonita, he sharted." Kenny murmured to Token.
Normally Cartman would have shoved Kenny, but he was already through Casa Bonita's doors. Everyone else followed suit. They were greeted by a man in a sombrero.
"Bienvenidos, chicos! Congratulations, you are our 1000th customers! As a prize, you can use our new karaoke room until we close. You only need to buy one meal per person." The man beamed at the teenagers. Everyone looked at each other, skeptically.
"C'c'mon, fellas. We were going to eat eventually anyway, right? Boy howdy, I love karaoke!" Butters jumped up and down with excitement. Kenny stepped forward.
"Alright."
"This way, this way." The man led the boys and girls to the karaoke room. The room was directly behind the waterfall. The teenagers ooh-ed and ah-ed. The babies were less than thrilled; they all began crying.
The room had two long, cushioned benches with a low table in between. There were four microphones, a screen, and a small stage. The sombrero-ed man turned on the machine and the screen lit up.
"We have many, many different songs. Use this remote to scroll and choose." The man handed the remote to Stan. "The menus are on the table. What would you all like to drink?"
Nobody had to look at the menus. They had all come here as kids, and each had a personal favorite dish. They all ordered within five minutes. Token and Kyle were bouncing their dolls, trying to calm them down. Clyde had the remote in his hand and was scrolling through the song list.
"Dude, they have that on here?" Clyde stopped on an Eminem song. "I have to sing this! Token, will you be the girl singer? Please, please? Since I couldn't sit in the front seat earlier?"
"Is he still butt hurt? Dude, shotgun isn't that amazing," Craig rolled his eyes before using them to locate Tweek. He was sitting on the other bench speaking to Butters and Kenny. Kenny still had the stupid doll. As long as Kenny was over there and not giving Craig STDs, he didn't care. Of course, he would have to kill Kenny if he gave Tweek an STD.
The waiter brought everyone's drinks before Token and Clyde could rap to Eminem. After he left, Kenny clinked his glass with his knife. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you booze"
Kenny emptied the contents of his bag. He had brought coconut rum, vodka, tequila, and absinthe. He grinned smugly.
"Dude, what the hell! We can't have this here." Kyle ran to the door to make sure no one was coming. "We're underage!"
"That's why we're mixing and hiding." Kenny poured some of the coconut rum into Butters' Coke. He stirred it with the straw and scooted it closer to Butters.
"Aw gee, Ken. I don't know... My parents would be awfully sore."
"Aren't you a parent for the time being? Make your own decision, but I don't see your parents here; and what happens in Casa Bonita stays in Casa Bonita." Kenny winked at Butters.
"Aw, w-well alright then. Don't look, Aran." Butters took a sip. "H-hey! It tastes all coconut-y!" He took a bigger swig and grinned at Kenny.
"Kenny, will you pass me the absinthe?"
Kenny whipped his head to the person who spoke. "Wow, Wendy. Didn't know you had it in you." He tossed her the little green bottle. Pretty soon, everyone was passing around the alcohol bottles. Even Kyle got the stick out of his ass long enough to pour a little vodka into his Double Dew. Kenny hid the bottles under the table.
"Okay, Clyde! Let's sing!" Clyde selected "Almost Famous" from the song list. Token began rapping before Clyde could take a breath. He had consumed more alcohol than his friend, and was already beginning to slur his words. Besides, Token was black. Rapping was second nature to him. Clyde messed up on the girl's chorus every time.
"Yoooou have been trading faces; I have been changing places. No, that's not right. You cannot fill these shoeeess." Clyde tried. Token did. He didn't miss a single beat in the complex rhyming. When the song ended, everyone clapped for politeness' sake. Cartman grabbed the remote before anyone else could.
Cartman wanted to show off, and he knew exactly how. "Weeeeeendy, will you siiiiiing a sooooong with me?"
Wendy hiccuped and belched. She covered her mouth and giggled. "Excuse me. I guess I can, Eric. Dude, why does the green fairy look like you?" Wendy's eyes were focused above Cartman's shoulder. She had seen the green fairy once before, but it was just a green light that randomly appeared. This time, the fairy had a form and details. It looked a lot like Cartman in a toga and holding a bow and arrows.
"You're crazy, bitch," Cartman said in the same higher pitch, fake nice tone. Wendy took Adolfa to the opposite end of the room where most of the other dolls were crawling around. Cartman pulled Wendy to the stage after picking a song. The beat to Gasolina filled the room. Cartman knew the importance of being bilingual since he was a kid. The Hispanic population was growing, and he needed to communicate if he wanted the jobs he had in mind done right. He also liked the idea of a song about gas. Wendy bobbed her head to the beat as she sang the girl's part of the song "Dame mas gasoliiiiina!"
"Dude, this is so fucking weird." Kyle whispered to Stan. He didn't know how Wendy could be so nice to Cartman. They had hated each other throughout most of their lives. Or at least it had seemed that way.
"Chill, man. Have a sip of this." Stan handed Kyle his rum and coke. He put his head on Kyle's shoulder as Kyle sipped the drink. "Part of growing up is accepting others and their personalities. No matter if they are destructive wannabe neo-Nazis and Cartman."
"I know I should be the better man, but dammit, he's a pain in the ass."
"You're the best man, and I'd rather be the pain in your ass." Stan nuzzled Kyle's neck and kissed where he could feel Kyle's pulse thumping in his neck.
"Stan... stop messing around." Kyle had moaned his name, but regained control of his voice. His eyes were closed. He softly bonked his head against Stan's. Stan lightly bit where he had kissed.
"I'm not messing around, dude. Fuck, you smell so good." Stan curled his feet under his butt and lay his head on Kyle's thigh. "I don't want to move." Stan closed his eyes. He had the shadow of a smile on his face.
Bebe looked at Stan and Kyle. She grinned. It looked like the plan was working. She nestled back into her seat. Wendy and Cartman were both pretty drunk and extremely funny. Cartman didn't know all of the words to the Spanish rap song, and Wendy kept singing in the wrong parts. Bebe glanced down at her new red shoes her mom had bought her. They were instant favorites with the little red bowties and the closed toe. They were high heels, but not high enough that she was in constant danger of twisting her ankle.
A sliver of metal bumped against her red shoe. She scowled and looked up. Jimmy was fumbling to sit next to her. He almost dumped the doll out of her lap. Her expression softened as he sat down.
"Cu-cu-can I hold Nutina? I puh-puh-promise I won't drop her."
"Sure, Jimmy. You're the dad after all!" Bebe giggled and brushed her hair out of her eyes as Jimmy took the doll from her lap. His hand brushed her bare leg. Bebe shivered and sipped her tequila mix.
"I-uh-I'm really glad we're puh-puh-pai-partners in this. I wuh-wuh-wouldn't know how to handle some of these assholes." Jimmy looked at Cartman as he flopped off the stage and back to his seat.
So you know how to handle mine, Jimmy?" Bebe's cheeks flushed slightly, but she raised an eyebrow and the side of her mouth in a half smile. Jimmy started stuttering even more. He put Nutina back in Bebe's lap and went to the little stage.
Instead of picking a song, Jimmy began stammering through a joke. Everyone was talking amongst themselves. Kyle stopped even pretending to pay attention when the food came. Jimmy was still doing his routine as people started eating. They were at least paying more attention to him. They couldn't talk with their mouths full.
"... and then she said, "Wuh-wuh-what hor-hor-horse?" Jimmy waited for some kind of reaction. Bebe was the only one who clapped. "Luh-looks like I'm a ruh-rebel without uh-uh-applause. Wuh-what a wonderful audience."
Wendy joined in Bebe's applause. Kyle, Stan, Butters, and Tweek followed suit. Jimmy started to leave the stage when Bebe stood up. She handed Wendy her doll, and went to the stage.
"Wait, Jimmy. Sing a Disney song with me." Bebe selected "A Whole New World" for her and Jimmy.
"Do you think Jimmy is going to tap that?" Kenny had his head in Butters' lap. Butters didn't even put up a fight. Kenny liked tipsy Butters. He let Kenny get away with things.
"I-I don't think Jimmy can tap dance, Ken." Butters hiccuped. He rested his hand between Kenny's shoulder and his thigh.
"You're so funny when you're drunk." Kenny nuzzled closer to Butters' crotch.
"Hu-hey now, Ken! Hiccup. Giggle."
"I can feel it, Butters."
"Stuh-stop it." Butters pushed Kenny's face out of his lap. Kenny had touched his weiner! That's not okay in front of everybody! Everyone was absorbed in other people, but still... Butters thought someone might see and feel uncomfortable.
A beeping went off. Everyone stopped talking; Bebe and Jimmy stopped singing. One of their bracelets were designating! Tweek pulled his hair. The beeping came from Cartman. Everyone held their breaths. The letters "STD: CHLAMYDIA." Everyone exhaled and laughed except Cartman. Kenny had fallen off the bench from laughing so hard.
Cartman ran to Kenny and started punching him. "This. Is. Your. Fault! I told you, Kenny!" Kenny reared up and punched Cartman once in the chest. Cartman stopped hitting him and fell down, crying. Wendy ran over to Cartman. She put her arm around his shoulder and started patting him.
"There, there, Eric..."
"Get away, bitch! You'll get an STD too!" Cartman put his face to Wendy's chest and sobbed.
"Eric, you realize that this isn't a real STD. It's just a stupid project." Wendy looked at Cartman through half-lidded eyes and smiled. She wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back.
"But... you won't get an Aaaaa. And you'll blaaaaaame it on meeeeeeeeeheeeheeeee."
"I won't blame it on you, Eric. I promise. I'm not mad. I'll prove it to you later." Cartman rubbed his face on Wendy's shirt between her boobs.
"Okay!" Cartman stood up and hit Kenny one more time before sitting next to him on the bench.
"U-uh, I-I'd like to sing- teehee- a song now." Butters scrambled up to the stage after Cartman's episode. The music started playing, and Butters started singing.
"Oh Kenny, you're so fine. You're so fine, you blow my mind. Hey, Kenny!" At this point in the song, Butters waved at Kenny. Kenny gleefully smiled and waved back at Butters. He kept tugging his pants away from his crotch.
"Hey Kenny, you've been around all night and that's a little long. You think you've got the right, but I think you've got it wrong. Why can't we say goodnight so you can take me home, Kenny?" Butters started tap dancing during the song. He wobbled slightly. One of his shoes flew off and hit Clyde and Token's baby in the head. The baby was nonplussed by the impact. Clyde threw his empty glass at Butters. Clyde was too drunk for his aim to be accurate. The glass barely flew two feet. It shattered on the table.
"Watch it, lame-o!" Clyde yelled up to Butters.
Kenny went to the stage, scooped Butters up, and kissed him in front of everyone. "Don't hurt my things, dick." Kenny snarled at Clyde.
Token put his arm around Clyde slowly. He sipped his drink and continued to look at the printed out song list. He didn't even look up at Kenny and Butters. His calmness settled Clyde down. "Whatever, dude."
Kenny shooed Butters off the stage before he picked another song. The intro to Chicago's "If You Leave Me Now" began playing. Tears welled into Butters' eyes as he listened to Kenny singing one of his favorite songs.
"This is the faggiest thing I've ever seen." Craig whispered to Tweek. "Can I talk to you... like alone for a second?"
"I-ah!- guess so..." Tweek pulled his hair. He followed Craig out from behind the waterfall. The waiter went in to get everyone's dishes as they exited.
"Look. I'm sorry if I freaked you out yesterday. I didn't mean to startle you or whatever. Can you just come back to being my partner? I think Kenny and Butters want to be together with those stupid dolls. And I would rather you be my partner than McCormick." Craig leaned against the wall as he was speaking. He fixed his gaze on Tweek the entire time. He didn't break eye contact.
"I wasn't- gah!- freaked out. You saw me do-doing something embarrassing. It was too much pressure to be with you." Tweek crouched down with his face between his hands. Thinking about it was too much. If he thought about it, then the others would know! What if he could transfer the images he saw to other people's minds? Jesus Christ, man!
"If by embarrassing, you mean fucking hot, then don't worry about it." Craig leaned down in front of Tweek and pet his head. Tweek twitched away slightly, but then rested his head against Craig's hand.
"Y-you're so weird."
"Yes. I am the one addicted to caffeine and paranoid about every little thing, and I'm the weird one." Craig ruffled Tweek's hair before pulling him against his chest. Tweek twitched, but eventually his muscle spasms calmed down. Someone cleared his throat. Craig looked up to see the waiter.
"Necesitan mas tomar?"
"Uh..." Craig didn't speak Spanish.
"N-no, Jesus Cristo! Gracias, hombre." Tweek answered from Craig's chest. The waiter walked away. Tweek pushed away from Craig and began to walk back to the karaoke room. Craig grabbed Tweek's wrist and pulled Tweek back to him. Craig sniffed Tweek's neck.
"God... you turn me on."
"Thuh-that's too much pressu-" Craig smashed his lips against Tweek's, and quickly pulled away. This time he walked toward the waterfall and left Tweek behind, speechless. Tweek's bracelet beeped and snapped him out of his stupor. Looks like he and Craig and... Breakfast?... were together again.
After a few more hours of karaoke and waterfall diving and pinatas and many more bottles of alcohol, Casa Bonita was closing. The teenagers were all too drunk to drive. Even Kyle, who never drank very much, and Tweek, who only really needed coffee, were drunk off their asses.
"Hu-how are we gonna get home, fellas? I can't go home like this!" Butters rubbed his knuckled together. He was sobering up, slowly but surely.
"We could all go to my house. We have plenty of spare rooms, and my parents are both working on their own projects." Even drunk Token was smooth and cool. Clyde looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. But dogs are allergic to chocolate, right? An unobtainable delicacy.
"We have to get there first." Kyle, always the pessimist and realist, burst quite a couple bubbles.
"Why, howdy fellas!" Everyone looked over to the pool. On the rail sat Towelie. A sober and clean looking Towelie.
"Towelie!" Stan and Cartman ran to their sometimes-friend. Kyle walked up more cautiously. "What are you doing here?" Kyle asked.
"Well, I started working here a few weeks ago. I gotta provide for my little washcloth!"
"Yeah, yeah. That's great. Can you drive us to Token's house?" Cartman interrupted the blue-and-white towel.
"I've been sober for 3 months!"
"Tell us your life story in the van..."
Token had to leave his Porsche in the parking lot for the night, but everyone and their dolls still fit in the Tweaks' humungous van. Butters was the designated pedal pusher as Towelie operated the wheel. They all made it to Token's house in one piece.
"Thanks, Towelie. You can walk to your place, right?" Stan asked as they got out of the van. Everyone had called their parents to inform them of a slumber party. They had sobered up enough to not giggle at everything and to not slur. Their parents were all okay with a study-slumber session. Of course, they didn't know that it would be a boy-girl slumber party.
"Well, it's a kinda long walk..."
"You better start going then if you want to make it before daylight!" Cartman called as he went into the Black mansion.
"You're welcome to spend the night too, Towelie. You can stay in the kitchen or one of the bathrooms." Token offered.
And with that, the couples wandered off to separate rooms to sleep... or whatever their drunken minds wanted.
