From the Author's Mind: (June 2011)
Forewarning to those who are new to ToIPatWS: This was one of the least-liked chapters. Even I am not fan of it. I'd say skip it but you kind of can't because IMPORTANT THINGS happen.
Chapter 8
Two weeks after the sinking of the W.S.S. Building C, the building and gymnasium were unearthed, along with all the missing students. With the buildings returned, a large amount of money was mysteriously found in the school's bank account, which allowed complete refurbishment of all the buildings. Reports of white slave trade being used as part of this money have been repeatedly denied by the school board, although many students had randomly disappeared from the school in that time period.
With the new campus in place, the remaining thirty or so students at Whitestone went about their daily lives, and as October melted into November, things returned to "normal." We use the term "normal" very loosely, since nothing can ever be normal at Whitestone. Not for any extended period of time, anyway. Still, old problems are hard to destroy and, predictably, the school's finances dove into the red once more. With no other way to save the budget, the school hired out to the highest bidder, one who would pay for the education of all students inside the walls.
Tuesday, November. Building B. 8:35 P.M. Health Class.
"So you see, children," Ms. Bitters concluded, "Everyone in the world except for you has A.I.D.S., so don't touch them or you'll get pregnant and die."
She stood in front of her students, the word "Reproduction," on the board behind her. Her students looked back, six of whom were toasted from having impure thoughts in the classroom. The most prominent of these was Zelos, whose hair was still on fire with Tak repeatedly trying to hose it down with Aqua Edge. Many students were falling into a stupor, though there were the resolute few who remained wide awake, scribbling down notes like their lives depended on it.
"Now, children, Master Computer has an announcement. Stand while we say our pledge," she said, standing at attention.
Everyone stood next to their chairs and recited the familiar pledge, "We pledge our lives to Master Computer, and all the 733Tness that he stands for. And we promise him all our blood stores when we die. We sing his name upon high, and pledge our meaningless lives to his feet, and justice for all."
The chainsaw music, which had now become the school's alma-mater, played as the Master Computer slowly descended from the ceiling. He bowed and nodded and basked in the glory that was him. Girtrude threw a rose at him, which stabbed him in his "eye" and made him bleep angrily. He composed himself to speak to the students.
"Good evening children and thank you for your wonderful attention. Now…" he said, and began to go into a monotone, obviously having said this to every classroom so far, "Due to budget cuts and other circumstances beyond our control, the Military will soon be assuming control of this school. With it will come many years worth of funding, dozens of new pupils, and, of course, higher education. You might even get mechanical pencils AND lead now."
"Oh, good," said Colette, relieved, "It's really hard to write without it."
"They will be here at 00:00 hours sharp. And for those of you that don't know what that means, it means midnight. Thank you and go die. I mean… good-bye…"
Silence greeted this announcement. And then the whispering started, slowly but surely. It didn't take long for the whole class to be complaining and up-in-arms about the situation.
"They'll turn us into robotic slaves and then send us to die somewhere!" exclaimed Sheena.
"They'll try and trick us into working for them and developing weapons for them!" wailed Hermione.
"They'll steal my brain for something!" Genis exclaimed, clamping his hands over his head.
"They'll make my hunnies cover up!" cried Zelos, tears streaming down his face.
"They'll make me wear tacky clothing!" Lloyd screeched, standing on a desk.
"They'll be able to sign my book! And then I'll get promoted since all the branches of the government will have signed!" Luna said, happily opening a small, black book she begun carrying at all times.
"Aw, come on, I don't think it'll be that terrible," said Dib, "I mean, it's just the Military."
"I was once in the Military…" Ms. Bitters said.
The flashback this time was, as usual, in black and white. In an open field, Ms. Bitters and Countess Von Verminstrasser skipped along, wearing camouflage clothing and helmets. They carried a basket of flowers, and looked like they were actually enjoying life. A few boys ran in front of them, chased by a short man with a moustache and whip. A banner above them all read "The Hitler Youth Camp."
"And then, one day, my life changed forever," came Ms. Bitters' voice from nowhere.
An atomic bomb dropped onto the scene, resulting in a horrible explosion that blackened everything around. The banner blew away, as did the trees, meadow, and various other happy-go-lucky items of joy. The classroom rematerialized and Ms. Bitters continued to talk like nothing had happened.
"And that, children, is the meaning of life. GO DIE!" Ms. Bitters screamed.
"… Don't you mean, 'good-bye?'" Ginny suggested tentatively.
"… Yes," said Ms. Bitters, sweeping out of the room.
"Well, this is going to be an interesting night," said Harry, "I hope something horrible doesn't happen that puts all of our lives in jeopardy…"
Tuesday, November. The Campus of Whitestone. 2355 (11:55 P.M.)
Most of the campus had assembled by ten till the expected arrival of the Military. They stood in groups of their friends, with the Professors standing on the stage (except for Professor Trelawney, who was out cold from drinking). The Hogwarts group, Symphonian Group, and the "other" group stood apart, each shivering with anticipation. The air was silent as the clock struck midnight, signaling the arrival.
Instantly, there was a loud banging noise, and a plane plummeted from the sky, landing heavily on the ground. A platform extended, and twelve soldiers quickly jumped out and stood at attention. Three official-looking people came off the plane next, walking with spines as straight as humanly possible.
"Area secured," one of the bodyguard men said.
"Very good," said the man who seemed to be in charge. He was flanked on either side by a woman and another man, both of whom were stern-faced and angry-looking, "Welcome to the new Whitestone Training Academy."
"Your cooperation is not requested, it's required," said the woman in a very brisk tone, "Your actions will reflect on this school and the Military itself. If you misbehave, you will be dealt with accordingly, and to the full extent of Martial Law."
"Get some rest, troops, we begin at dawn," the third man said.
"Excuse me!" Hermione called from the audience, her hand waving in the air, "Are there any new courses we can sign up for?"
The man in charge stared at her for a moment. His eyes bulged slightly at first, and then returned to normal as an evil smirk moved across his face. Hermione instantly wished she had kept her mouth shut, and trembled slightly as the man took a deep breath and continued to speak.
"You do not choose courses. We assign them for you. Tomorrow at oh-seven-hundred sharp, you will all attend basic training. And then you will be split up into your assigned classes," the man replied, his tone frighteningly gleeful.
"And what about our magic courses? Do we still take them?" asked Genis with a note of annoyance in his voice.
"Magic? You must be joking; magic does not exist, boy," the woman snarled, "Don't talk foolishness."
"And what about our houses?" Zelos demanded.
"Houses?" said the third man, blankly.
"Here at Whitestone," piped up Regal, "We have divided the students into four houses: Fence, Typhoid, Iko Iko, and Potato. We feel it—"
"Yes! Of course!" the in-charge man said, "It will be as though you are all separate armies! Makes the war games much easier. Now, you will have about six dozen new students joining you, so you will have to make room for them…"
Another ship landed behind the first, and students began to march off. They all looked the same: strong, blonde, muscular boys who looked as though their souls had been sucked out. They stepped in-line with everyone else and gave off more of an appearance of robots than anything else. From behind them, a voice cracked through the air like a red-hot whip.
"… move it! Forward motion! Let's get this show on the road! Left, right, left, right!" came the unmistakable snarl of Countess Von Verminstrasser, the Delouser. Sure enough, she rode a floating platform above the other students as they walked along, cracking a whip above their heads.
"Countess!" Ms. Bitters said, suddenly looking happy for once.
"Bitters!" squealed the Delouser, embracing her friend, "How are you?"
"Miserable," shot back Ms. Bitters, back to her flat tone. "And you?"
"Homicidal," replied her friend, stonily.
"Wait, you two knew each other this whole time? Even during the lice incident?" Dib asked, stunned.
"Irrelevant," they replied at the same time.
"That should be a very clear answer," muttered Sheena.
"Enough! Bed, all of you!" screamed the man-in-charge, "We're up at seven!"
Wednesday, November. Whitestone Campus. 0701 hours.
The next morning, everyone assembled on the campus of Whitestone for their first set of instructions. With the new students, the ratio of boys to girls was around 4:1. Some of the girls, like Sheena, Ginny, and Tak, were irritated by all the guys around them. Others, among them Presea and Gaz, could care less. Luna, as usual, was out with the C.I.A. and was excused from morning exercises.
"Good morning, soldiers!" called the man-in-charge over the megaphone, "I'm pleased to see you have all arrived. Basic training runs from 0700 hours to 0830 hours, followed by your morning classes until 1300 hours. From 1400 hours to 1900 hours, you will be in your specialty class, learning about you're assigned field."
"Your assignments will be posted at lunch. Now… begin!" the 2nd-in-command woman added.
"What do we do?" asked Dib, blankly.
"RUN!" the man shouted, brandishing a sword he probably stole from the Weapons Appreciation room. "Run like your lives depended on it!"
With a couple of screams and yelps, the students of Whitestone Training Academy began to run around the courtyard. The other soldiers, as well as the three in charge, kept a close watch to see who was and was not suitable for physical activity. Genis, Neville, and Hermione were the first ones to have to stop and lagged behind the rest of the group by a large margin.
When they were done with the sixtieth lap of the school, they were ordered to a very difficult obstacle course. With barbed wire crawl areas, tires, walls, and a strange log, many students became taxed and passed out. Genis, Hermione, Neville, now joined by Dib, Ron, Harry, Colette, and Zim, were all carried into the medical ward by the trainees, having lost all of their energy and half-died.
After the obstacle course, they did some general strength-increasing exercises., including push-ups, pull-ups, dips, and, of course, plenty of jump rope. Finally, at 0830, they were given half an hour to shower and get ready for their first classes. Those in the Medical Ward had come around and were also preparing for their first lessons.
"That was awful!" exclaimed Ginny, "I can't feel anything lower than my arms."
"At least you didn't pass out," said Hermione, who looked embarrassed at failing so miserably, "And we have to do that everyday!"
"Except for Luna. Did she get back yet?" asked Neville, somewhat jealously.
"Yeah, she was the one who crashed the plane into Building E," answered Sheena.
"Really?" Lloyd said, looking shocked, "I thought it was just Air France making their flight paths over the school again."
"No, it was me," said Luna happily, ignoring the burning building behind her, "I could've sworn that Slinky-Tak was gone…"
"What about me?" asked Tak, who had just joined the group.
"Never mind, Tak, Luna's just being weird again," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.
"Oh my God," came a horrified voice.
They turned to see Ron looking at a list of classes they were required to take in the morning. The classes themselves were supposed to encompass all the major subjects: Math, History, Science, English, Gym, and the like. However, the Military had found a clever way to get around this. The classes were called "Military History," "Vehicular Training," "Weapons 101," "Combat 101," "War Games," and "Tactics 101." The classes, "covered" History, Driver's Ed, Science, English, Gym, and Math, respectively. However, this was not what horrified Ron so much.
"Look who teaches Vehicular Training…" Ron said.
"Oh Lord…" Hermione breathed.
"It can't be…" Genis muttered.
"How can they trust—" began Lloyd.
"What? It's just Professor Trelawney," said Luna.
Outside, they heard an explosion. The group ran to the window and saw one of the tanks breaking through the fence and driving away. Sure enough, they could see Professor Trelawney sitting in the hatch, cackling madly as she drove over various obstacles in her path. She turned faced the school, waving happily. The tank continued, collided with a tree, and exploded.
"Well… that wasn't good," said Hermione after a few seconds of stunned silence.
"I hope she's alright," said Sheena.
"She is," said Presea, pointing to their teacher's cackling body. "She sustained only minor injuries."
"Those tanks blow," said Zelos, "Any moron could build one better than that."
"Shut up, Zelos," hissed Genis, "If they hear you say that, you'll be thrown in jail!"
"Everyone, let's go!" Hermione squealed, "We'll be late for Military History!"
"Who teaches that one?" asked Genis.
"Ms. Bitters and Countess von Verminstrasser," replied Hermione as she sped off down the hallway.
"… Oh Lordy, Lordy…" Sheena groaned, shaking her head.
Wednesday, November. Building A. Military History Class. 0945 hours.
"So you see, brats," Countess von Verminstrasser concluded near the end of the hour-and-ten-minute-long lesson, "Your entry to the Military is like signing your life over to the devil."
"For you will find nothing but misery and stale pancakes," Ms. Bitters added.
The entire class had been spent by the two teachers telling about their experiences in the Nazi Army, as well as various other armies they joined later in life. They were in an enormous lecture hall, freshly constructed, and it felt like the entire student body was in there with them. Some people were taking notes, others were sleeping. The new students sat rigid in their chairs, doing very little.
Then, a loud alarm began to blare. All over the place, red lights appeared. The students clamped their hands over their ears, each looking terrified. Master Computer plummeted out of the ceiling, looking equally horrified. The pledge was forgotten as he began to spit out the warning.
"WARNING! WARNING! THEY ARE HERE! THEY ARE HERE! ALL STUDENTS ARE TO TAKE SHELTER IN THE BUNKERS IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT: THIS IS NOT A DRILL!" he shouted, retracting into the ceiling to continue to warn everyone.
"ALRIGHT!" shouted Countess von Verminstrasser, "FOLLOW ME!"
She strode ahead quickly. The rest of the students panicked, left their stuff where it was, and ran after her. Even the soulless students looked scared now, screaming and running in many directions with the other students. They made it through the halls without too many problems, though the grounds were complete pandemonium. The bunker was situated at the other end of the campus, and with students running in all directions, it was going to be a very difficult journey.
"MOVE OUT!" shouted the Countess, disappearing amongst the deluge of students others.
"What do we do?" wailed Hermione, clinging to Ron. "What's going on?"
"I don't know!" called Harry. "But we have to get to the bunker, it's our only chance!"
They formed a chain, making their way past the other students. Many were confused as to what was going on, where they were to go, and many more had fallen and were being stepped on and trampled. Finally, the medical robots came back and helped get those who had been squished into the bunker. Then, a wall of students slammed into the arm-chained group, breaking them apart.
"Keep on going!" called Harry as his group got separated from Ron's, "We'll get there in time!"
"Right!" Ron replied, while the majority were swept into the bunker by the flow of bodies.
By the time the other wall of students had dissipated, allowing Harry's group to get headed towards the bunker, the grounds were almost deserted. Harry glanced at his remaining classmates: Ginny, Tak, Zelos, Sheena, Lloyd, Dib, Colette, Girtrude and Zim. They continued to make their way across, but then stopped.
"Do you hear something?" asked Sheena.
"Let me use my angel hearing," said Colette, focusing for a second, "Yeah, I do hear something."
"What is it?" asked Harry.
"It's… a 'blah' sound," said Colette, "And I think I can hear mopeds as well."
"Mopeds? Blah? What's the connection?" Dib wondered aloud.
Suddenly, it got louder. In the distance, a cloud of dust raised as whatever was making the noise came towards the school. Gasping, the nine remaining students headed straight for the nearest building, hiding themselves behind it. There was no way they'd get to the bunker now.
Inside the Bunker…
"What are they?" asked Hermione in a small voice as those in the bunker were able to see the cloud through the reinforced windows.
"I don't know, but that blah noise is really getting on my nerves already," said Genis through gritted teeth.
"That doesn't matter right now!" snapped Hermione, "Our friends are out there!"
"You know what, Hermione—" Genis began, leaping to his feet.
"QUIET!" Gaz shouted, and the entire bunker quieted instantly, "They're the MEDIA, obviously."
"Media?" queried Neville, "Reporters and such?"
"Multiple Eccentric Dysfunctional Irrelevant Annoyances," recited Presea, "Known to arrive on scenes of hush-ups. The Military's main foes. Very dangerous unless handled by a professional."
"So these MEDIA…" said Neville slowly. "They're dangerous?"
"Oh my God!" Hermione cried, "Harry's out there!"
"He'll be fine," said Luna, smiling.
"Why's that?" asked Genis.
"Because they're not interested in him. They're interested in the tank and the tree," replied the girl.
"Look! It's the three in-charge moron-people," said Gaz, pointing across the bunker. "What are they moaning about?"
"Let's go," said Presea, moving forward with her and Luna.
"… damned MEDIA are a nuisance," the man-in-charge said.
"They'll want to know about the tank. Are all the students accounted for?" asked the woman.
"No, we're missing about sixteen," said the third-in-command man, shaking his head dismally. "If the MEDIA get a hold of them, they're as good as dead."
"So what do we do?" asked the man-in-charge. "We have to tell them something. They've seen the tank; they have pictures."
"Blame it on the tank manufacturers," said the woman. "That way we don't get any retribution."
"Who's going to go talk to them?" asked the third-in-command. "We can't let the students do such a thing."
"No. But since you are third-in-command," said the lead man, smiling evilly. "I guess that means you get to."
"Me? I did it last time!" whined third-in-command.
"And you're so good at it we've decided you need to do it more," said the man-in-charge. "Go, and be quick about it."
"Yes, sir," the third-in-command replied.
The girls quickly rejoined the group and informed them of everything they'd heard. Outside, the "blah" and moped sounds were getting louder and more furious, something that seriously bothered the bunker children. With almost two dozen of their classmates out there, they had to wonder if they were even still alive.
Back Outside…
"What are we gonna do?" asked Sheena, "Can we fight them?"
"I hope we don't have to. Let's just try to get to the Bunker," replied Lloyd in a quiet voice.
"Right. Move out," Ginny whispered.
They quickly ran along the side of the building. They could hear the blahs overlapping each other in different pitches. A lot of them were flashing as they took pictures and video. Then, Girtrude saw something shiny and her eyes got really wide.
"Oooh… pretty…" she muttered.
"Girtrude, no!" hissed Harry.
"SHINY! I MUST HAVE IT!"
"Blah?"
The MEDIA quickly turned around and froze, staring at the students. They stared blankly for a second, and then barreled down upon the students, blahing at the top of their lungs.
"RUN!" screamed Harry.
They turned and ran, many tripping and falling over each other. They were no match for the mopeds, however, and soon four MEDIA caught up to them, blahing repeatedly.
"It's no good," said Lloyd as they became surrounded, "We'll have to fight."
"But I don't have a weapon," said Dib.
"That's fine. You, Zim, and Colette should make a break for it. The rest of us can hold the fort," replied Harry.
"Irkens do not run from a battle!" Zim hissed.
"Huh?" asked the others, except Dib, who pointed triumphantly.
"Uh… I mean… Fencers… Fencians do not run from a battle!" Zim corrected himself quickly.
"Just what do you plan to use, Zim?" asked Dib.
"BLAH!" shouted a MEDIA.
"Get out of here, now!" Harry cried, "We've got this."
"Right," said Dib, as he, Colette, and Zim took off.
"Okay, here we go…" said Harry, as he faced the MEDIA, ready for combat.
"Are you all alright?" asked Hermione as Colette, Zim, and Dib entered the Bunker.
"What are those other children doing?" asked the man-in-charge when he spied the others preparing for combat.
"Fighting the MEDIA, obviously," said Gaz unkindly.
"What? They can't do that!" cried the woman. "It'll be a scandal!"
"You! Get out there and stop them!" snarled the man-in-charge to third-in-command.
"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, leaving.
"I don't know what those morons think they're doing," the man-in-charge said. "But they are going to need some lessons in respect when we're done here."
"What? You can't do that!" Hermione squealed.
"Oh, but I can, Ms. Granger," said the man, "And I will."
"Demon Fang!" Lloyd shouted, swinging a sword and sending the slash along the ground to the enemies. One of the MEDIA's mopeds was knocked backwards.
"Impedimenta!" Harry and Ginny hissed at the same time, sending the jets of light toward the MEDIA. Two others collapsed.
"Water, Giver of Life… show us thy darkest power!" Tak chanted, the mana waving around her. "Aqua Laser!"
Tak's newly learned mid-level spell erupted from her hands and took out six MEDIA at once. The rest, however, had begun to get furious and began to fight back. Their prime attack was flashing their extremely bright camera lights into the faces of their foes, blinding them with cries of pain. Then they began to physically hit them, jabbing their faces with microphones and other recording equipment.
"Don't run!" Zelos said, casting his own spell, "THUNDER BLADE!"
The sword of electricity plummeted into the ground, shocking five more MEDIA into pieces. Finally, one hit Sheena in the face and she got all dark and glowing.
"YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!" she raged.
"Uh-oh," said Zelos, "Sheena's in Over Limit…"
The MEDIA stopped with a single "blah?" Sheena took a stance of focusing, a very powerful, white mana flying around her. Her eyes narrowed and seemed to get more furious as the spell continued. When she spoke, her voice echoed and was much louder.
"I call upon the Disciple of Everlasting Ice!" she shouted, a strange pattern appearing below her. "I summon thee… COME! CELCIUS!"
In front of the remaining MEDIA, Celsius, the Summon Spirit of Ice, appeared. She gave them a small glanced, snorted derisively, and shouted, "IT'S OVER!" Around her, a wave of Ice swept up over the ground, knocking all the remaining MEDIA out of commission. Sheena, her mana halfway depleted, knelt to the ground, breathing heavily.
"That was…" the third-in-command man said, arriving on the scene. "I-I… what was that?"
"Oh, hello," said Ginny with bitterly sarcastic cheer. "Where the hell have you been, and what were those things?"
"What weapons were you all using?" demanded the third-in-command man.
"These are my wooden blades," said Lloyd, proudly showing off the swords. "I think you noticed some of our awesome magical arts as well."
"Magic doesn't exist, boy, quit your Satanic foolishness. But… what sophisticated weaponry…! You will give us full details on your weapons later today," the third-in-command said. "I'll have to speak to my superiors about this…"
"Right," Celsius said, floating above the ground. "Go back to your masters, you little, whipped slave."
"Okay, thank you, Celsius," Sheena said quickly. "You can go."
"Whatever," Celsius said, sticking her tongue out and disappearing.
Back in the Bunker, everyone stared, wide-eyed, at what had just happened. Then, the muttering started. It got louder and louder, until it reached a normal talking pitch. The man and woman-in-charge stared at the area that had just seen such a dramatic battle. They were stunned, and at a loss for words. The rest of the Symphonian, Hogwarts, and "other" groups quickly left the Bunker to talk to their friends, making sure they were okay and everything.
"We're fine," said Harry. "Sheena, that was… amazing!"
"Thanks," said Sheena, nodding. "Although, Celsius' attitude hasn't changed at all."
"What was she?" asked Ron.
"The Summon Spirit of Ice, DUH!" Gaz replied.
"Now, come," said Presea. "They're posting our assignments as we speak."
"Assignments? Awesome!" Sheena replied, looking happy. "I hope I got into Espionage!"
"I want the Air Force," said Lloyd enthusiastically. "Flying planes will be fun!"
"You? The Air Force?" Genis said, eyes bugging slightly. "Lloyd, need I remind you of the Rheiard incident?"
"Hey! I swear, Exire was hidden by a cloud! Anyone could have hit it!" replied Lloyd hotly.
"Right… it's only a floating city of about twenty square miles," said Genis, flatly.
Wednesday, November. Building A, Cafeteria. 1300 hours.
"Here they are!" exclaimed Colette skipping ahead of the group. "Told ya we'd find them!"
"Yes, after we got lost six times and ended up in a broom cupboard," replied Hermione in a tired voice. "And I don't even want to begin on that misadventure with the demented Chihuahua. Who got what?"
"Well…" said Colette, reading the list out loud.
ARMY DIVISIONS (Specialty Classes):
Weapon Research: Verminstrasser, and Snape
Genis
Hermione
Espionage: Bitters
Presea
Gaz
Army: Kratos
Harry
Zelos
Zim
Iggins
Navy: Trelawney
Luna
Dib
Ginny
Ron
Air Force: Regal
Colette
Girtrude
Lloyd
Medical: Raine
Neville
Tak
Sheena
"What?" Sheena cried. "I applied for Army or Espionage, not Medical!"
"No fair!" whined Hermione. "I'm with Genis."
"I knew it!" Genis shouted. "They're going to use my brain!"
"I'm not with my baby…" Tak muttered sullenly.
"Alright! Air Force!" Lloyd said, gleefully.
"Oh Jesus…" Ron muttered. "Why did I get stuck in the Navy…?"
"Cool! I can be a pirate again!" Luna said enthusiastically.
"Well… I guess sailing is kinda fun…" Ginny muttered. "I'd still prefer to be on the front lines…"
"This is going to be so much work," groaned Zelos.
"VICTORY FOR ZIM!" Zim shouted gleefully.
"How did Lloyd get Air Force and me the Army?" Harry mused aloud.
"Girtrude! We get to learn to fly!" squealed Colette.
"Yay! PUDDIN'!" Girtrude exclaimed with an equal amount of glee.
"Whew," Neville said in a relieved tone. "I get to avoid physical activity. Yes."
"Espionage… do I get to hurt things?" Gaz asked.
"Negative," Presea replied with no emotion.
"No fair!" screamed Gaz.
"But… I don't want to be in the Navy… I want to be in Espionage," Dib sighed.
"YES!" Iggins said hysterically. "This is just like on Armed Forces Honor Medal Day 6 when you get to be in the Army and do training and stuff and… WOW!"
"I want to be in the Army!" Sheena reiterated angrily.
"A female on the front lines?" the man-in-charge said from behind them (having snuck up randomly). "Ha! Females don't have the emotional stability to do such a thing!"
"You know," said Sheena acidly. "Our bodies are better suited for combat than yours, so watch what you say."
"Is that a threat, Miss Fukomishi?" hissed third-in-command man.
"Of course not. And it's Fujibayashi," Sheena replied.
"I noticed you had a slight panic attack when the MEDIA showed up the first time," pointed out Ginny.
"Silence!" the man-in-charge hissed. "You're still too juvenile to even grasp the horror of the MEDIA."
"Whatever. Look, I just want to be changed to the Army as well. I feel—" Ginny began.
"MY WORD IS FINAL!" the man-in-charge shouted, abruptly losing his cool. "ANY ATTEMPTS TO CHANGE WILL RESULT IN YOUR COURT MARTIALING!"
Everyone shut up at this point. They quickly dispersed to their various classes. Sheena shot one last angry glance back at the man before trudging after Neville to Medical training. The students spent the entire afternoon learning their various sections of the Military, something that was rather boring for some, difficult for others, and actually vaguely interesting for the rest.
Wednesday, November. Various classes. The afternoon.
Research and Weapons:
Genis and Hermione were among only twelve students to arrive in the Weapons Research classroom. In front of them, Professor Snape and Countess von Verminstrasser stood, at attention and ready to go. Snape sported a new uniform, one that he seemed to think it made him look more official. In reality, it made him look like more of a flamer.
"You are here," squawked Verminstrasser as the bell rang, "To learn to develop Weapons for the Military. Think of it as a… Chemistry class."
"Ma'am," said Hermione, hand in the air, "Isn't it a little dangerous to trust teenagers with developing dangerous weapons?"
"TEN POINTS FROM TYPHOID FOR A POINTLESS INTERRUPTION!" Snape roared. "My God, it feels so good to be able to do that again."
"As I was saying," said Verminstrasser, ignoring Snape's outburst. "You will be set to a certain task each day. Some days it'll be guns or tanks, another day it may be fighter jets and bombers, and some days it may be the bombs themselves."
"You will use caution in this room," Snape said, coolly. "For even Professor Sage's Healing Arts have their limits, and with the Military present, magic of any type is forbidden."
"Forbidden?" Genis cried. "Why?"
"Ten more points from Typhoid for not using common sense," said Snape flatly. "Obviously, Mr. Sage, if the Military notices our powers, they will study us and try and learn how we are able to accomplish goals via magic. But they will not accept magic as a theory. Do you know what they will put you through?"
"Aye, Sir," said Genis quietly.
"I'm glad we have an understanding," said Snape. "Now, START READING!"
"Reading?" asked a student. "We have to read?"
"Yes," Verminstrasser's voice cracked through the air. "You can't expect to improve weapons if you don't know how they work, right?"
"No, ma'am," muttered everyone, opening the nearest books and beginning to read.
Army
"Well," said Kratos, standing before the all-male students before him. "It seems you have all been assigned to the Army division. You should feel honored, not many get assigned here."
Harry and Zelos glanced behind themselves. About a third of the boys from the entire school were there, including Zim and Iggins. They both glanced back to Kratos, who was outlining their drills and the obstacle course that they were going to have to run shortly. The boys sighed, knowing this was not going to be a fun or easy afternoon.
"Now!" Kratos shouted. "I want to see some hustle in all of you! You're young men, this should not be a challenge for you! GO!"
They all took off running. Iggins made it to the tire section first, but then passed out halfway through. The rest of the boys trampled over him, continuing to the rope wall. Up and over that, and then it was past a perilous bit of barbed wire, over a pit of dirty, muddy water, and over and under some logs and other obstructions. Zim could not, for the life of him, figure out why humans would put themselves through this torture. How could it possibly benefit them physically?
"Sir," Zim gasped, going at a crawl across the ground. "This is stupid and pointless. How do—"
"Faster!" Kratos shouted, blowing his whistle again, "You will run! Harder! Harder! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY!"
"He's enjoying this far too much…" muttered Harry as he and Zelos did push-ups. Zelos merely grunted and collapsed, clutching his side.
Kratos stood over his fallen students. They lay in the grass, panting, clutching various body parts, and looking miserable. Many had dehydrated themselves and were inches from death. Kratos sighed and shook his head.
"Pathetic."
Navy
"Welcome to the Navy!" Professor Trelawney shouted happily, opening her arms wide to the three dozen students she was taking aboard. "Today we shall start your new adventure on the Seven Seas, sailing from port to port, living on your own wits, and going swimming with sharks."
"This is mental," Ron muttered sullenly. "This is going to be the death of me."
"Now, does anyone here know anything about sailing?" asked Professor Trelawney.
A few people raised their hands, Luna and Ginny included. Ron eyed his sister warily, but she declined to explain how she'd learned. Dib sighed, looking forlornly at the building where the Espionage students were supposed to meet.
"Good!" Trelawney cried happily. "Because I haven't the foggiest idea, and they said they only stuck me here because I was less likely to cause world-wide genocide at sea than I was on land with the truly dangerous weapons!"
"Er…" said Dib. "You don't know how to sail a ship?"
"No, but it can't be that hard!" said their crazy Professor walking to the bridge. "Now, where's the ignition?"
"I'll help you find it!" said Luna brightly, rushing up the stairs.
"I think I'll go help them," said Ginny, looking more than a little alarmed. "Later, guys."
"So what do we do?" asked Ron. "Stand here or get off the ship?"
"I vote for getting off the ship," said Dib. "However, I do think—"
"FULL SPEED AHEAD!" shouted Professor Trelawney.
The ship suddenly shot forward, knocking both Dib and Ron to the ground. They stood up as the ship raced across the sea, rocking back and forth enough to make people lose their footing. The seas were relatively calm, though they'd occasionally hit a wave in such a way that water would cascade over the bow like a reversed waterfall. As the two boys held on for dear life, they could hear the girls in the Bridge singing "In the Navy" at the top of their lungs.
Air Force
"Welcome to the Air Force," said Regal, sporting brand-new pilot attire. His students stood before him, each itching to get into a plane. Regal noticed Colette and Lloyd and suddenly it looked as though his day had just ended. "Um… well… shall we begin?"
"I wanna fly a plane," whined Girtrude.
"I see. Which one?" asked Regal, kindly.
"Um… that one!" said the robot-girl, pointing to one of the larger transport jets.
"Ah, the SABBIE Super Transporter. A very nice plane, one designed to carry various—"
"I LUST FOR THEE, MY SABBIE!" Girtrude squealed, rushing to the plane.
"Uh, Girtrude…" Regal began. "I don't think—"
The small one disappeared into the cockpit, shattering the glass. Her maniacal laughter could be heard as she started the engines, and quickly took off, knocking down a tree as she did so. They could hear her laughing until the plane disappeared into the overcast sky.
"Um… right. So, for the rest of you, choose a plane and we'll… attempt… to get off the ground…" said Regal.
"Don't we have to go through any training?" asked Lloyd.
"Master Computer will guide you all through the processes," said Regal, leaping into a small fighter jet of his own. "I'll see you in the skies."
He took off quickly as well. Lloyd and Colette glanced to each other, shrugged, and climbed into a two-person plane. It only took about three minutes for Master Computer to explain to them how to get to the runway and into the air. Within a few seconds, they were flying.
"I'll take the controls, okay?" Colette suggested happily.
"Uh, Colette, I don't think…" Lloyd began.
"Yay!" she squealed, pushing forward on the control stick. The plane dropped almost three hundred feet, causing Lloyd to scream blue murder.
Espionage
"Espionage," said Ms. Bitters, pacing in front of her six students, "Is not a course to be taken lightly. It is difficult, dangerous, very covert, and has a high mortality rate."
"Ms. Bitters," began a student, "Why is it so dangerous?"
"Because you're going into enemy territory and retrieving information, DUH!" hissed Gaz.
"I wonder why Sheena is not in this course," said Presea, "She has had plenty of practice with Mizuho…"
"SILENCE!" Ms. Bitters snarled, "Now, we must begin. With Espionage, you need your weapons…"
Gaz's eyes lit up as she spied the many guns, knives, and other weapons concealed in Ms. Bitters' desk. She lovingly picked up a grappling gun and a small pea-shooter, while Presea resolutely stood by her ax. Gaz glanced around and looked to her teacher.
"Can I incorporate this into my game?" asked the girl, "Maybe for Technology Appreciation?"
Ms. Bitters nodded. Gaz broke into a wide grin and quickly moved to a back table, sweeping everything off of it. With Presea helping her, she spent her entire class period converting her GS2 into a special all-purpose weapon, complete with guns, lasers, tasers, a missile pod, and a few other enjoyable tools of the trade.
"I call it," she said, smirking, "The GameSlave Advanced."
Medical
"Well, students, I'm pleased to see you all are here to learn Medical techniques," Raine said, smiling forlornly to her students. Though she had one of the larger groups, many of the mostly-female class didn't want to be there. Even Raine seemed hesitant.
"Please, Professor Sage," said Tak earnestly. "Why are you so sad?"
"Because I cannot use my Healing Arts. We have to do this the long way," said Raine, sighing, "And it's a pain to lecture on that when we have lots of sharp, metal objects on which to hurt yourself."
"Professor, will there be a lot of homework?" asked Neville.
"Of course," said Raine, looking at him as though he were insane. "Did you expect anything less?"
"No, ma'am," said Neville, flatly.
"However, when you leave here, you will understand more about the body and its processes than ever before. If there is anything I can help you with, anything you need answered, just let me know and I will give you all the information on the subject that I can," Raine replied, quickly.
"What are we going to do first?" asked Sheena.
"Well, you will read. You must understand about the body and all its functions before we can start dissections," Raine replied.
"Dissections?" Neville almost shouted, looking pale and sweaty.
"Yes, dissections. Don't worry, Neville, we're not using real humans. Only Medical Students can get away with that. You will be using mannequins for this class, with realistic organs and blood and bone tissue," Raine assured him.
"Aye, ma'am," said Neville, still looking unconvinced.
"Now then…" said Raine, "Open these textpackets to page sixty-five and begin to read about the body. Time is short and I want to be able to test you on all this stuff tomorrow…"
Later…
At the end of the day, the students met back in the cafeteria. Those in the Army were extremely sore. Those in the Navy were bashing their heads to the side to get the water out. Those in the Air Force were still "flying" with light headedness. The students from Medical and Weapon research all sported massive migraines from the information they were required to memorize. Only those in Espionage seemed to remotely enjoy being alive that night, having learned the basics to sneaking around. This schedule repeated itself for two weeks, and, slowly, the students of Whitestone grew to accept their new lives and schedules. Even if they weren't happy with it.
Next Friday, November. Whitestone Campus. 2048 hours.
The Military heads called a meeting of all students the second Friday after their arrival. Those who were not in the Hospital Ward from various combat mishaps were gathered amongst the large platform that had been erected in the center of the campus. Everyone had been instructed to bring all their possessions with them and head straight to the platform to await instructions. They stood, many in pain, and the man-in-charge finally arrived.
"Your possessions will now be placed into our safe," he said, "Which will be hidden away, far from where you can find them."
"What?" came the uproar. "Why?"
"We feel that these petty possessions cause distractions and take away from your Military Learning Experience. In short, they're hindering your performance and must be cut," the woman-in-2nd-command said.
"That wasn't any shorter than the first time," Genis pointed out haughtily.
"Be that as it may," the man-in-charge said. "You will now be required to place all your possessions into the safe. Do this now."
"This is retarded," said Harry, "I want to keep my broom."
"Poor Sanchez… he doesn't get to keep his switchblade…" Girtrude sniffled, handing it to a soldier. Sanchez swam around his bowl furiously, glaring murder at anyone who met his eyes.
"I can't believe this," sighed Hermione, handing over armful after armful of books. "I'm going to die."
"I knew it," Zelos hissed. "They're turning us into robots."
"They're trying to suck out our souls," said Zim. "Through bendy-straws!"
"Zelos," Tak whispered. "We have to do something."
"Yes… we do…" muttered Zelos. "What I'm not sure."
"We'll have a meeting. Tonight. Iko Iko will put a stop to this," she muttered.
Friday, November. Iko Iko Lounge. 0100 hours.
That night, the students of Iko Iko met in their Lounge to discuss their future plans. Zelos, Tak, Sheena, and Ginny were the ones at the forefront of this mini-rebellion, and it was going to be a dangerous uprising at that. The Military leaders were under a lot of pressure, and when they were under pressure, they made bad decisions.
"They are segregating the girls from the boys," said Tak angrily. "They won't let girls join the Army, they take away our stuff, and they try to take away our souls. This can NOT happen."
"Here here!" one called from the back of the room.
"They wouldn't let us join the actual Armed forces because we're girls. I know many of you, as well as many of the girls from Fence, were desperate to get into the Army, Navy, or Air Force. But they said no. Is this fair?" Ginny called.
"No it's not!" chanted the others.
"Therefore, I feel we should start an uprising. Tomorrow. We'll hit hard in three places. The morning attack will be taken by Sheena, Tak and I will get the afternoon one, and Ginny will finish off at night. With luck, we'll bring the Military to its knees," Zelos shouted.
"What do we have to do?" asked a brave boy from the middle.
"Here's the plan," said Zelos, beginning to outline everything. It took almost half an hour, and they were sure that everyone had understood their plans. Sheena would start in the morning by leading a peaceful protest. This would put the Military on alert. Then Zelos and Tak would continue in the afternoon by leading another peaceful protest, an unauthorized mass Army jog around the interior of Whitestone. Ginny would finish the night off with a huge magical fireworks display designed to terrify the Military leaders into stopping their tyrannical death grip over the students.
However, there was one fatal flaw. The next morning, Ginny awoke. She rolled over and glanced at her alarm clock. 0530 hours. Right on schedule. She turned over to wake Sheena up, but she gasped. Sheena's entire side of the room had been torn to pieces, and it was obvious that a struggle had taken place. Worse, Sheena was nowhere to be found.
Meanwhile, in the Fence Dorms…
Zim sat inside the Lounge, his head hurting. The Army training on Earth was nothing like that on his home planet. It was needless, mindless destruction of body and mind. Zim sighed and laid back in his chair, a feeling of despair rushing over him. He only sat still for a few minutes, however, before the ceiling tile above him shuddered and fell onto his face.
"Sorry, Zim," came a familiar voice.
Zim glanced up and saw Luna hanging from the ceiling, Gaz and Presea on either side of her. They each had a handful of chips, chocolate bars, and various other junk foods.
"YOU! Human! What are you doing here?" Zim demanded, his head in even more pain now.
"We're helping you, DUH!" Gaz said.
"Luna told us about your plan to have the Almighty Tallest respect you more," Presea said, "And being in Espionage has granted us access to a certain section of Whitestone that can easily send your thanks to the Tallest."
"What? You humans want to help me?" Zim gasped.
"Of course," said Luna happily, "We are friends, after all."
"… I… see…" said Zim, "Alright. I'll accompany you."
"Come on, the rockets await," said Luna happily.
"Rockets?" Zim asked, climbing into the ceiling with them, "What rockets?"
"The ones that have the ability to reach the Massive in its current location," Presea said as they crawled along the ventilation system.
"Oh," said Zim, "I was not aware you possessed the capabilities to send it that far."
"We don't. But add in magic and Presea's ax-swinging power… we certainly do," said Luna.
"Quiet. I hear something," Gaz said.
"As do I," said Presea, "Voices. Possibly of the Military's commanders."
"You go check that out," said Luna, coming to a fork in the ventilation, "Zim and I will go to the rockets."
"Alright," said Presea. "Good luck."
"Same to you, humans," said Zim.
"Now," said Gaz. "Where are these hideous voices?"
Saturday, November. 0250 hours. Some hidden Room.
The man-in-charge stood before his two partners. They were standing over a map of Whitestone, one that showed future plans for an even bigger base with plenty of slave labor to run it. They had big changes in store for Whitestone, many of which had already taken place.
"Once we can accept their souls," said the man-in-charge. "They will have nothing left to defend against us."
"But we still have to take into consideration that one girl," said the third-in-command man. "She is a danger to us."
"No, she's not," said the woman-in-2nd-command, a smirk playing across her face. "In fact, she'll soon not even be at Whitestone."
"Why do you say that?" asked the third-in-command.
"We have her held in Solitary Confinement until she can be safely shipped out," said the second-in-command. "There's no way anyone can get to her."
"What about these rumors we have received of a rebellion?" asked the man-in-charge.
"Iggins claims that the Iko Iko students are going to have some sort of rebellion. However, he also said that Sheena was the leader, which means that the rebellion may not even begin," third-in-command said, quickly.
"Excellent. Our plans to suck out the souls of these students are going as planned. Do we have any near the breaking point?" asked the man-in-charge.
"None yet," said the second-in-command, "But we're closing in on a few, especially that Colette girl and Dib. Hermione Granger and Genis Sage may be smart, but their mental defenses are weak. We'll get them shortly as well."
"This is too easy. And nothing can stop us now," said the man-in-charge, leading the normal maniacal laughter all bad guys have when their plans are a success.
However, there was one thing the leaders of the Military didn't account for. Two pairs of eyes watched them from a hole in the ceiling tile. Both were narrowed with fury, and they were gone as instantly as they had come.
Saturday, November. 0700 hours. Iko Iko Dorms.
"What are we going to do?" wailed Tak, "We can't go through with our first set of rebellion tricks; Sheena's not here to lead."
"But we can do the next two sets," said Ginny, "Maybe it'll have more of an impression."
"But how do we know where Sheena is, and do we know whose next?" asked Zelos.
"Well, obviously," came a snotty voice from above them, "The Military has gotten her."
"Celsius? Where have you been?" asked Ginny, "And what do you mean?"
"She got kidnapped at about 2:30 this morning," replied Celsius, "I thought you all realized that."
"No, we didn't," said Ginny angrily. "Thanks for telling us right away though. Appreciated, really. Where is she?"
"Hell if I know," Celsius shot back, "I was ordered to stay behind and tell you what happened."
"So we don't know where Sheena is. Therefore, we can't bust her out," said Zelos.
"We know where she is," said Presea as she and Gaz walked in.
"How'd you get in here?" asked Tak. "This is only for Iko Iko students."
"Staff entrance," the girls replied at the same time.
"Oh," said Tak, shrugging.
"Anyway, we have information on Sheena's whereabouts, as well as other information you all might like to hear," Presea continued. "Now… we would be happy to divulge this information, but we have to be paid accordingly."
"Why?" asked Zelos, "What will happen if we aren't?"
"The universe will not be at a balance, and someone will get hurt," said Gaz. "Possibly your soul."
"Alright, how much do you want?" asked Zelos.
"No. Money means nothing. We need something more," said Presea.
"What do you want, then?" asked Ginny, becoming irritated at the stalling.
"We'll decide on a price later," said Presea. "Now… here's what you need to know."
Saturday, November. Secret, Underground Missile Silo.
"Well, here we are," said Luna, leaping out of the ventilation system and dropping to the floor, "Come on, Zim!"
Zim followed her out, landing on a bunch of marshmallows. He looked around and gasped. The area they were in had about two dozen long-ranged missiles. Plenty of wires connected each missile, and a small console stood before the whole artillery. It was a beautiful sight to the Invader, who had seen no such wonders in the realm of large machinery since leaving his lab. Luna picked up many of the snacks and walked over to the console.
"STATE YOUR NAME, INTRUDER!" Master Computer shouted as Luna activated the console.
"Luna Lovegood and Zim. We're here to borrow some rockets," said Luna while Zim stood behind her.
"Oh. Okay. As you were," said the Master Computer's voice, shutting off momentarily.
"Okay, Luna, you got us here. What's next?" asked Zim.
"Well," said Luna. "We're going to need to input the codes and data for the Massive, which I am sure you know."
"I do," said Zim. "The coordinates are 382828282.88882 by 18256893.290283 and a half."
"That would put them near Aquiian, correct?" asked Luna, while she allowed Zim to punch in the numbers. "Daddy said that planet can have severely adverse effects on the Earth when it—"
"Yes, yes, it's a galactic control point," said Zim. "The Irken Empire must control it."
"It's so pretty. And covered in water," said Luna, smiling dreamily at the ceiling.
"There," said Zim. "Codes locked. What's next?"
"Next we have to attach the snacks to the rockets and input the correct launch sequence codes. And also fix the rockets so they have Presea's power and the magic we know inside of them."
"You are sure this will work?" Zim asked tentatively. "We're risking extreme retribution if this mission fails."
"Yes," said Luna. "But that's alright, nothing can go wrong."
Saturday, November. 1323 hours. Whitestone Training Academy.
By twenty after one, all the students were in their respective specialized training classes. In Weapons Research, Snape and Verminstrasser kept close watch over the dozen students under their jurisdiction, while Hermione and Genis snuck glances out the window. In the Navy, Trelawney was rocketing around the large lake in a boat while Ron hid himself below decks due to seasickness. In the Air Force, they were all doing fun, aerial combat drills, which resulted in Girtrude slamming into another tree and knocking it down. Raine continued to lecture her students in the Medical section, which was bizarrely empty. The Espionage students, as well as Ms. Bitters, were all on a practical training lesson.
The Army, most of it anyway, was beyond their laps and had moved on to more advanced exercises. Like Medical, Kratos noticed that many of his students were missing.
Standing in the shadows of Building C, nearly forty students stood, waiting. The signal would come when the music started, something they had sent Gaz and Presea to accomplish (for even more of a profit for them, of course). They knew this may be their last few minutes of freedom, but they intended to use them well, and to try and send a message to their leaders. They had even called in a secret weapon; one that they hoped would sway the Military further.
Then, they heard it. Over the loud speakers, it sounded rather quiet, but it got louder as Presea adjusted the volume. The song "Soldier Soldier," one made by Captain Jack began to blare over the radio, though without the words. At the first beat, the two parallel lines of students began their lap around the school, holding flags made from training shirts that had various "Free Whitestone" and "Equal Rights" messages.
"Soldier, Soldier don't look down. I'm here for you in every town," the girls all chanted as they fell into step and began to lap the inner part of the campus, "Soldier, Soldier, don't look down. I'm here for you in every town."
"What's going on?" asked Harry, glancing back from the rest of the Army students. "What are they doing?"
"Beats me," said Iggins, though he looked nervous.
"I'm sure," said Harry, flatly.
Meanwhile, the protest went into the first verse. Tak and Zelos, at the head of each line, became the main voices. When the girls were supposed to chant, Tak said it first. Then the rest of the girls echoed her. When it was the guys' turn, it was Zelos that sang first, and the guys chanted back.
"Momma told Mary not to go downtown!" Tak called.
"Momma told Mary not to go downtown!" chanted the nine other girls.
"Too many lover boys hangin' around!" Tak chanted.
"Too many lover boys hangin' around!" the girls echoed.
"Mary didn't listen, she went anyway!"
"Mary didn't listen, she went anyway!"
"What's going on out there?" asked Raine as she left the mannequin on the table and ran to the window. Her students crowded around her, some covered in fake "blood" and some still holding various sharp, pointy objects.
"Then she met a boy who took her away!"
"Then she met a boy who took her away!"
"Soldier, soldier don't look down," they sang together, "I'm here for you in every town…"
"I don't believe this!" gasped Neville, "They're really doing it! Just like Iggins said!"
"Solider, Soldier, don't look down!" Zelos commanded loudly.
"Soldier, Soldier, don't look down!" the other guys repeated.
"There's no six-pack on the ground!" Zelos said.
"There's no six-pack on the ground!" came the return call.
"Soldier, Soldier, don't look up!"
"Soldier, Soldier, don't look up!"
"There's no whore gonna pick you up!"
"There's no whore gonna pick you up!"
"Do you hear something?" Ron asked Dib as the two of them stood on the deck of the large ship.
"I do… it sounds like singing," said Dib.
"Momma is worried and she gets real loud!" Tak shouted, going into another female verse.
"Momma is worried and she gets read loud!"
"'Cause soldiers are a dirty crowd!"
"'Cause soldiers are a dirty crowd!"
"ALL PERSONS TO STATIONS!" Trelawney shouted, "HARD-A-STARBOARD!"
"Bloody hell," Ron muttered as they did a sharp 180 degree turn and headed back towards the shore.
"Don't be mad, I love him so!"
"Don't be mad I love him so!"
"It's my life and I have to go!"
"It' s my life and I have to go!"
"Soldier, soldier don't look down. I'm here for you in every town…"
"Look at that!" said Genis, rushing to the window.
"What are you doing?" asked Hermione, looking up from her book. "If we don't study for this next test, we'll—"
"What is this foolishness?" asked Snape, sweeping to the window and knocking various students out of the way. "I see. A revolution, eh?"
"Solider, Soldier, don't look down!" Zelos shouted with the male chorus.
"Soldier, Soldier, don't look down!"
"There's no six-pack on the ground!"
"There's no six-pack on the ground!"
"A revolution?" squawked Countess von Verminstrasser, "Well, we can't let that happen now, can we? I'll alert the higher powers at once—"
A dart shot out of the wall and hit her squarely in the back, causing her to fall to the ground. The rest of the students and Snape, all staring out the window, didn't notice or bother to help.
"Soldier, Soldier, don't look up!"
"Soldier, Soldier, don't look up!"
"There's no whore gonna pick you up!"
"There's no whore gonna pick you up!"
"Sir, we have a Code 18488," said second-in-command to her boss.
"A student revolt?" asked the man-in-charge, shocked. "So… that Iggins boy was right. Well, we will award his army fifty credits for this find. And we will have to stop this uprising at once."
"Three months later all was well," Tak called out.
"Three months later all was well."
"In my dreams I hear the wedding bells, ding-dong-ding!"
"In my dreams I hear the wedding bells, ding-dong-ding!"
"Your orders, Sir?" asked third-in-command man.
"Stop them using whatever means necessary," replied the man-in-charge.
"Six months later all was done!"
"Six months later all was done!"
They began to sing together again, "We had our little son, we are having fun. Momma don't think twice, Soldiers can be nice!"
Sheena sat up in her cell. She had been taken away that morning to solitary confinement. Though she'd put Celsius behind to give the message away, she wasn't sure if it had actually worked. When she heard the chanting, she smiled to herself. Her capture hadn't stopped the rebellion.
Suddenly, a ceiling tile fell from overhead. Presea dangled down from the roof from a bungee rope.
"Presea!" Sheena cried.
"I've been requested by Zelos to give you this. It's your instructions," said Presea, "Good day."
With that, she retracted into the roof and fixed the ceiling tile. Bewildered, Sheena opened the list of instructions. Zelos basically told her to keep an eye out for Ginny, who would be busting down the doors to get her out. When she was done, she was to summon the one person that would terrify the Military away, based on the rest of the day's work.
"Well, alright," said Sheena, "I wonder how long—"
BOOOOOOOOOM!
The door blew open and Ginny stood there, dusting herself off. It was obvious she'd been busy; lots of knocked-out soldiers littered the hallway. Her mastery of Symphonian magic, or at least the fire type, had served her well.
"Hey, Sheena," said Ginny happily, walking in to the area. "I assume you're ready to leave this hell hole?"
"Damn straight," Sheena replied, getting up and leaving with Ginny. "Now, I'm going to need your help. First, though, I have some Summoning to do…"
"Solider, Soldier, don't look down!" chanted Zelos, leading them into the final chorus.
"Soldier, Soldier, don't look down!"
"There's no six-pack on the ground!"
"There's no six-pack on the ground!"
"Soldier, Soldier, don't look up!"
"Soldier, Soldier, don't look up!"
"There's no whore gonna pick you up!"
"There's no whore gonna pick you up!"
As many of the other students began to come out to watch the progress of the rebellion, they finished their chant, and began to slow down their run. Suddenly, a rife cracked through the air, and the protesting students screamed and threw themselves to the floor.
"ALRIGHT!" shouted the man-in-charge. "I want all of those responsible to be caught and dealt with in the harshest manner! And fifty points to Fence!"
"Why?" asked a furious Tak.
"For giving us information on your little 'rebellion,'" said the man-in-charge, grinning evilly.
"Alright, who's the sneak?" asked Zelos, eyes flashing.
Iggins trembled next to Harry. He glanced at the boy and rolled his eyes. It was so obvious that Harry didn't even feel like telling the others. Instead, he watched as the Military members closed in on the Iko Iko students, weapons raised. The students pushed back as best they could, but soon realized they were overpowered.
"Throw them in the holding cells until we can properly fix this mess!" shouted the man-in-charge.
"You can't do that!" shouted Tak. "My father will sue!"
"Your father will never find you," said the second-in-command woman, grinning evilly. "You all will have perished in a tragic helicopter accident. Which is perfect because we have some tests we need to put you through, mainly due to those strange weapons you have."
"Which is where that other girl is," added third-in-command dude.
"Sheena? Let her go!" shouted Lloyd, who had just crashed down from the Air Force with the others.
"Why would we do that? She has power beyond anything we've ever seen, and we intend to make good use of it," said the man-in-charge. "And as for you—"
He was cut off when the ground began to shake. It was as though another earthquake was shaking up the school, though it was soon obvious what the case was. The ground began to open up near the center of the campus, causing many people to spring away from the area. As it opened, they could see dozens of rockets sitting in the ground, each with a red top and a white body.
"Commencing launch," came Master Computer's voice, "In five…"
"What's going on?" roared the man-in-charge.
"Four…"
"Who did this?" the second-in-command woman wailed.
"Three…"
"Who could have done that?" screeched the third-in-command.
"Two…"
"Excuse me," said Luna, appearing out of nowhere. "Can you sign this?"
"One…"
"Yes, yes, but what…?" the man-in-charge said, wondering what was going on and absently signing the book Luna held out for him.
"LAUNCHING!" the voice shouted.
All of the rockets immediately began to glow and take-off. Six went out without any trouble, flying straight into the sky and out of sight in minutes. However, rocket number seven got knocked off course for no apparent reason and instead changed course, heading straight for Building C. Anyone near it jumped out of the way as the rocket impacted, blowing the building to bits. Complete chaos erupted on the grounds as all the students ran one way, then another, dodging debris and each other.
The Iko Iko students tried to make an escape in the pandemonium. As the burning wreckage fell around them, Zelos was caught by the man-in-charge, Tak was caught by the woman-in-second-command, and the third-in-command somehow stopped three others.
"You will pay for this," hissed the man-in-charge. "Breaking daily and marching protocol is one thing; bombing a central military intelligence building is quite another!"
"We didn't do that!" Zelos cried. "We're not smart enough!"
"Speak for yourself, darling," cried Tak through a chokehold.
"Then who did it?" roared the woman.
"I did," said Luna, as she flipped through the pages in her book. "Me and Zim. He wanted to send some food to his friends."
"What? Do you realize what this means? The C.I.A. will be here any minute!" shouted the man-in-charge.
"Oh yeah… I forgot about that," said Luna, frowning. "I'm not supposed to play with missiles until I get promoted."
"Oh, you're in big trouble, missy!" hissed the man-in-charge.
"I don't think she is," came a new voice.
This time, it was Sheena. She emerged from the rubble, her clothing a little burnt, some black splotches on her face. Behind her came a dozen figures, each bigger and shinier than the next. Sheena wore a triumphant smile on her face as she and the mystery figures made their way across the rubble, easily dodging the panicked students.
"Who are you?" asked the third-in-command, looking to the figures behind Sheena.
"Our names are not important," said a devilish-looking figure. "What is important is that you respect us… as the Summon Spirits of our world."
"Impossible!" cried the man-in-charge, "You can't exist!"
"You are blinded," said a second, echoing voice, the blue figure of a mermaid floating forward. "But this Summoner brought us forth to right a terrible wrong you have placed on these victims. The time has come for you to pay."
"I'm gone!" shrieked the terrified second-in-command, running away as fast as her heels would carry her.
"If you think I'm going to be intimidated by holograms of a mythical beasts, you've got another—" the man-in-charge began.
A big ball of electricity silently floated forward and sent a bolt of electricity right into the man-in-charge, knocking him to the ground. The other summon spirits began to move forward, too, but the man-in-charge got up, backed up, tripped over the third-in-command, and both of them fell. Then stood up again.
"You can't take both of us!" the man-in-charge shouted, looking as though he'd snapped.
"Blah," said someone.
"What'd you say?" asked the man-in-charge.
"We said nothing, fool," said Celsius, "You hearing things now?"
"Blah blah blah!"
"Oh no!" the third-in-command shouted, "It can't be…"
"Oh, but it is," said Tak with a smirk, "We took the liberty of getting in touch with them so they could show the world what you've done."
"No! You didn't… you called… the MEDIA?" shouted the man-in-charge.
"Yep," said Ginny, brightly, "Every MEDIA in the world should be heading for this area as we speak."
"Okay, now I'm gone!" the third-in-command said.
"Wait for me!" the man-in-charge shouted, running after him.
"BILLAAAY!" Girtrude called, chasing after them, "DON'T FORGET YOUR SANDWHICHES!"
As they left, the first of the MEDIA arrived. Half stayed behind to photograph the wreckage of Whitestone, the other half took off after the Military. Many of the soldiers deserted, following their leaders. Almost all of the students stayed behind. Many were suffering from shock and mental breakdowns. Having no one telling them what to do caused them to exist without a purpose.
"Well, that was interesting," said Harry, "I'm glad no one got hurt, though."
"What gave you the idea of summoning all the spirits at once?" asked Tak.
"Your boyfriend did," said Sheena as the Summon Spirits hovered around, getting photographed by the MEDIA as well.
"So now that the MEDIA are here… is it safe?" asked Dib.
"Of course! The Military has an irrational fear of the MEDIA, one caused by their inability to own up for mistakes," said Tak.
"But what about those missiles?" asked Lloyd.
"I told you, we sent snacks to Zim's friends," said Luna, her eye twitching. "Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?"
"So these MEDIA are really harmless? You're sure…?" Hermione asked, tentatively approaching one.
"They wouldn't hurt a fly," said Sheena, scratching one under the chin.
The sound of a helicopter reached their ears. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up, even the MEDIA. Slowly, three gigantic, black helicopters appeared from the sky. Rope ladders dropped and dangled below as dozens of people dressed in black arrived, each muttering into earpieces.
One, the largest of the bunch, glanced around to the messed-up campus and the destroyed building. He took in the students, the MEDIA, the summon spirits, and the general unease. He talked for a few minutes to his co-workers, each looking more grave than the next. Finally, he addressed the assembled students as a whole.
"WHO DID THIS?" he commanded, "WHO CAUSED THIS MASSIVE EXPLOSION WITH A DANGEROUS WEAPON?"
"She did," said the man-in-charge, suddenly reappearing from behind the building. A couple MEDIA turned their attention on him, but nobody moved. He wore a triumphant smirk as he shoved Luna ahead of him. "She's the one."
"Luna Lovegood?" asked the man from the CIA, looking angry once more, "Are you not aware of Protocol 2843543, Section 2029A?"
"Yes," said Luna, respectfully. "It states that those in lower rank of the CIA may not handle missile weapons, and those who do shall be punished under Section 342 of the CIA Judiciary System."
"And that means immediate dismissal from the CIA," said the CIA man.
"No fair! She was only trying to help a student in need!" cried Colette.
"I'm sorry," said the CIA man, frowning and ignoring the complaints of other students. "But the rules are set in stone. Ms. Lovegood, do you have anything to say to this?"
"I do," said Luna, fishing around in her bag. "I know I left it in here somewhere… oh! Got it. I completed the Little Black Book."
"What? What does that have to do with anything?" the man-in-charge asked, releasing Luna.
"Indeed you have," said the CIA man. "Well, this trumps you earlier disciplinary action. You have been promoted, Luna, and you get a gift card for an ice cream sundae for life. And you are now authorized to handle missiles and other WMDs."
"Goodie-good!" Luna said enthusiastically. "I can't wait to get promoted again!"
"Good luck, Agent Lovegood!" the CIA man said, saluting her. She returned the salute and skipped away to show Gaz and Presea her cool coupon.
"And as for you," said the CIA man to the man-in-charge. "I'll let the MEDIA deal with you."
"NO!" the man-in-charge wailed, running away as quickly as he could, pursued by 16 more MEDIA.
"And by the way, Iggins is the Snitch," said the CIA man, while he and the rest of the CIA leapt into their helicopters and flew away.
"Well, now that that's over…" Gaz said. "Who feels like lynching Iggins?"
"Allow me," said Sheena, eyes blazing, "I summon thee! EFREET, LUNA, SHADOW, VOLT, MAXWELL, ORIGIN, SYLPH, GNOME, CELSIUS, UNDINE! Let's take our revenge."
"Nooooo!" Iggins wailed, running away as Sheena and the ten Summon Spirits ran off into the sunset.
"Well, now that we're finished with that… I think we have one more little thing to give back," said Raine, dusting her hands off. "Presea, Gaz, if you will…"
"We found your souls and your stuff," said Gaz, "Hurry up and get it."
It didn't take long for everyone to have their souls and possessions back to normal. Sheena rejoined them, also dusting her hands off as she went. Iggins was nowhere to be found. As everyone assembled in the center of the campus, no one was really sure what to do.
"Now that we've got everything back to normal," said Zelos, as some Traditional Magic Iko Iko students turned the ground into a dance floor with lots of dance club lights, and danceable music. "Let's… PARTY ON!"
The students, staff, Summon Spirits, some CIA people, and the MEDIA spent the rest of the evening grooving to various songs. It was definitely a fitting end for a torturous two weeks; and everyone was glad had come to a close. In the distance, the rockets Luna and Zim had fired zoomed away, heading for the Massive, and a better life.
From the Author's Mind: (June 2011)
Fun Fact: ToIPatWS is, in fact, an abbreviation. Which doesn't say much.
Also, this was one of the most heavily edited chapters in the world. I originally had Sheena summoning Captain Jack (for those of you who don't know, he did songs for DDR). But I didn't like how the chapter ended with him (no offense CJ!) so he got edited out and I had the Summon Spirits take over his lines and actions.
