Eight: Need
Do you have everything you need? The words echoed through the hollows of his mind once again. It was driving him nuts, those six words, constantly floating around and popping out at random times. He could not remember for the life of him where he last heard that phrase. Had someone asked him that very question? Was it something he heard while flipping through channels last night in an attempt to forget about the latest case? Did he read it somewhere? Or just hear it in passing conversation? It didn't matter where the hell he heard it, he just wanted to go away. The first time it had appeared he'd been busy rinsing the shampoo out of his hair. Then it came back shortly after breakfast. Now he was outside in the sun leaning back against the black Government Issue car and it popped out again.
Do you have everything you need? Everything he needed? What sort of question was that anyway? It sounded to him like something someone would say to a person they loved. Somebody getting packed for a trip or something along that line. Maybe a nurse asking a doctor if he had all the necessary implements before starting a surgery. It didn't sound like the kind of question that anybody would pose to him. And even if they did, he had everything he needed.
Didn't he?
Of course. He had a great paying job. Not only was it a good job but it let him find some sort of retribution to make up for all the people he killed. Though every once in a while he had to kill someone because they just refused to listen to him when he told them to freeze. Why couldn't people just freeze when he told them to? Didn't they ever see the gun that he was pointing in their direction? Aside from his job he also had his son. He loved spending time with him, being a farther. It gave him a new experience in life. Every day that he spent with Parker he learned something new. Children were a wonderful thing. And on top of it all he had his friends, even if they were a little on the geeky side. He counted on the squints for a lot now a day. However, he still would not admit to anybody that he trusted them with his life. Maybe even more so than his fellow agents. He finally answered the question. He had everything he needed.
So why did the question keep coming back? What was he missing?
The answer came walking out the door and headed down the steps. He watched her. She was only half paying attention as her sunglass-concealed eyes focused on a file in her hands. She was always all about work. But could he really blame her for that? There were so many days he never made it home, so many nights spent asleep on the couch in his office at headquarters. He watched as she stepped out of the shadows of the Jeffersonian, the sun making her hair shine like she was in one of those shampoo commercials. The sound of laughter drew his attention. A couple on the sidewalk was enjoying each others company. They seemed lost in their own world, oblivious to those swarming around them. Then he turned his attention back to Bones.
Do you have everything you need?
Just a few minutes ago he had thought he had everything he needed. Friends, family, a job, a purpose. Now he realized that something was missing. There was no love in his life. Sure there was the love between him and Parker, but that was family love. As Bones drew closer he felt the familiar ache in his heart. It showed up every time he laid eyes on her. Why couldn't he tell her how he really felt? Hadn't he been trying for so long now? Even if he had been, getting across to her that he was in love proved to be a harder task than he expected. So many things were lost on her. He decided that it had something to do with the unpleasant childhood dealt her. She lost herself in science. She lost everything in science. But maybe he could teach her to love one of these days.
"Hey Booth," she said as she came to a stop in front of him. "Are you ready? They faxed over the photos to me and I think this one is going to be really interesting."
"Makes you wonder how they missed it," he remarked somewhat dryly. He was attempting to focus on the here and now and not the thoughts running rampant in his head. "How does a school move lockers into the basement without noticing that someone is locked inside?"
She shrugged. "Maybe the person wasn't yet dead, just unconscious from lack of oxygen."
"Bones…" He let it drop as he walked around the car and pulled open the driver's door.
She slid into the passenger seat, checking her watch. "Do you think we can wrap this up in time for dinner? I'd like to sneak in something before I get stuck in the lab for the rest of the night trying to solve this one."
Do you have everything you need?
He started the car, a smile forming on his lips. "Dinner…don't mind if I join you, do you?"
"Do you think that you will be able to eat after this?" she asked quite simply. "You haven't seen the pictures of this body; which I'm going to judge as a male Caucasian. I give a rough estimate of having been there for a good ten years or so, give or take. They said the lockers were in the basement. That's a cool enough place to slow down all the usuals of decomp."
"So he shouldn't be that bad," he stated while making a right hand turn.
"His skin looks like it's melting off."
"Bones…"
"What?" she asked quite innocently. "It's not my fault. I didn't put the guy in the locker and leave him in the basement for years. I think I might want ribs or something for dinner."
"Bones…" An unpleasant image popped into his brain. It was quickly knocked away by that crazy thought; do you have everything you need? "You know what, ribs don't sound half bad. I know of this great place…"
