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Chapter 8

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"I'll be fine," Summer reassured Seth for like seventeenth time that morning.

"Call me right when you have your stuff together and I'll come help you with everything."

"Okay," she said, slightly letting out a chuckle.

"Okay, bye," she said, giving her a quick hug.

Seth walked away and left her standing in front of the condo. She was going to have to go in and get all of her things, all the while listening to Matt tell her she was being 'a bitch who didn't deserve his time.'

She was pumped to say the least.

She extracted her room key from her coat pocket and made her way up the steps. She reached the landing and saw all of Matt's ski equipment propped up against the wall, his boots air drying.

Walking into the room, she saw the place exactly how she had left it. Clean with a few dishes in the sink.

Summer walked into her room and saw that no one was here. She was relieved to be able to get her things and leave without him being there.

But, as soon as those thoughts ending, she heard the front door swing open and close with a loud bang.

Letting out a long, deep sigh, she prepared herself for him.

Matt sauntered into the bedroom and was surprised to see her sitting on the bed.

"Summer, baby! Your home!" he walked over her, hugging her.

"Yeah, um, no, I'm leaving," she told him, wiggling out of his grip.

"Where are you going?"

"To stay with Seth. He doesn't cheat on me."

"I didn't cheat on you."

Summer let out a frustrated laugh and continued packing her things into suitcases.

"When we get back to Los Feliz, I'm moving out, so you can have the place to yourself."

"Please don't be like this."

"Be like what?"

"A bitch. I did nothing."

"You. Cheated. On. Me. We. Are. Done."

"I was worried you had gotten killed or something!"

"Killed? Really."

"Yes, really. It was just say way of dealing."

"I never meant any of it. And before I knew it, this random and I were back here and all I remember is waking up with her next to me."

"Why were you even talking to her?"

"I was at this bar and she came and started talking to me."

"Why in the hell were you at a bar? If you were even the least but worried about me, you would have come looking for me!"

"I couldn't! They wouldn't let anyone up the mountain. Sum, I'm sorry."

"Please, give me another chance."

"No."

"Please. I will do anything to make it up to you."

"Matt, no. You cheated on me. Cheated. That is a big word."

"I love you."

"Don't. Just don't."

"I'm being serious, I love you."

"I kissed Cohen. Still love me?"

"You kissed him? How many times?"

"A lot."

"Yes I still love you. I mean, now we can be even. I kissed Shelly and you kissed Seth. It's okay."

"You had sex with Shelly, that's not okay," she spoke to him like he was a three year old.

"Please, please, give me another chance. I will do anything for you. "

She could feel herself breaking, his bright eyes were catching up to her dark ones and she could feel herself spiraling.

---

"Hey," Seth said, walking over to Emily.

He had just walked away from leaving Summer to gather her things. He figured she would take a while, so he decided to find her.

"Hey, long time no see. Where have you been?"

"At my house. We were snowed in."

"We?"

"Yeah, Summer and me and then Ryan and Marissa came down and stayed with us for like two nights or something."

"That's fun."

"Yeah, it was. Where were you?"

"Stranded in the hotel with a bunch of people. It was hell."

"Sounds like it. Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I've never really talked to you about anything like this before, and I know we've been friends for a long time, but.."

As Seth began to say this, Emily's hopes about him asking her out were very high.

Since before she could remember, she had always been attracted to him. He was funny, adorable, and totally chill. Sure he had his moments, but she liked him, and she hoped he liked her too.

".. I think I'm in love with Summer."

"Oh," she breathed, disappointment noticeable.

"Yeah, I mean, I have never felt this way about anyone before," he said, looking into her eyes, "it's exciting."

"Then tell her."

"Isn't it a little soon?"

"Not if it's real."

Even though she was disappointed, she had always given good advice and that is exactly why Seth had come to her.

"Yeah, okay."

"Now, can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I like you."

"Uh, you, you what now?"

"I like you. But, you love Summer, so go tell her."

---

Seth had started making his way back to Summer's condo when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Seth?"

"Yeah, hey Summer, are you ready to go?"

"Um, I actually, well.."

"Your staying with him."

"He's sorry."

"He's sorry? Summer! He cheated on you. I don't know what kind of guy you want, but no girl should want that."

"Seth, I have been with him for seven years, I know when he is being serious, and right now, I know. If I didn't, I would not be staying. I own him my trust."

"You owe him nothing."

"I own him trust."

"This isn't you, Summer."

"You don't know me, Cohen."

"I do and you are this fun, amazing girl who I have grown to love over five days."

'Did he just say what I think he said?' she thought to herself.

"Excuse me?"

"I said that I have grown to love you. I love you, Summer."

"Seth," she sighed, closing her eyes, "you hardly know anything about me."

"You were just saying how I knew more about you than anyone."

"Maybe that's what I felt in that moment, but right now, I owe my heart to Matt. And you don't love me. You only like the idea of me."

"You owe your heart to someone who will hold your heart in their hands and never let you down. Even if that person is not me, you deserve someone great. Please don't do this," be begged.

"We had fun, but we have to think reality here, Seth."

"Reality? Summer, who cares. He hurt you."

"We're working things out."

Since talking to Seth, she started to realize that what she was saying was only trying to make herself okay with the problem. She knew that the things that happened between her and Seth and Matt and Shelly were not fixable with only a few words, but she had to be okay with that.

Things with Matt would never be the same and she knew that in her heart, but her head was telling her a different story.

Right now, she had her angel and her devil sitting on her shoulders. The angel telling her that Seth could make her happy, while the devil told her that she had been with Matt for so long that she would be stupid to walk away from a relationship that had meant something to her.

"This is for the best. I'll see you around, Seth."

"Summer, no, stop. I'm coming over!"

"No, don't."

"We have to talk about this."

"We just did. I'll call you soon. Bye, Seth."

She went with the devil.

---

He saw her standing with Matt in from of the ski lift. Through the five days she was with him, he could tell when she was being genuine. But, now, she was putting on a facade of happiness.

He wished he could see her being genuine again.

She looked up and for a second thought she saw him. Summer looked over again and she realized that she hadn't seen an illusion of his standing form, but that it was really him.

Seth looked miserable and even from far away, she could see the pleading in his eyes asking for her to come over to him.

And that was the last thing that she wanted to do. But, after the five days that she had spent with him, she couldn't not go, especially when his eyes were piercing a whole in her heart.

In return, she followed her heart instead of her head.

"Hey, baby, I'll be right back," she said, turning to Matt, "I'm really thirsty."

"Oh okay, where should I meet you?"

"Take the lift up and then come down and we can meet in front, right here. That good?"

"Yeah."

For about eight seconds she tried to mentally prepare herself to talk to him. She had basically told him that she didn't want anything to do with him.

Summer slowly made her way over, skis propped on her shoulder, and her ski boots making her walking awkward and much too slow for her fast pace.

"What?" she asked abruptly when she reached him.

"What?" he asked her back.

"You wanted me to come over here, now tell me what you wanted."

"If I remember correctly, I didn't use any form of body language to get you over here. No wave, no pointer finger call, no nothing."

"Yeah, ya did."

"Uh, no, I didn't."

"Why are you being a jerk?"

"Why are you being a bitch?"

"Why am I being a b-," her eyes got bigger, "I cannot believe you just called me a bitch! You're a bastard!"

"Oh man, I felt that one."

"Why are you such a smart ass."

"Why are you a ditz?"

"Don't even start with me, Seth Cohen. You're the one that can't even get a girl. So you knocked one up when you were nineteen and she had your baby and left. I would have left too."

Seth just stood there, everyone around him fading into nothingness, while he wondered if she really would have left him had she been in that situation.

His eyebrows gave a more prominent etch to his face and he could feel tears forming over him eyes. He then looked right into her eyes, silently telling her that this conversation was over and that if he never saw her again, then he would be okay, even if he was lying to them both.

Seth didn't know wether to run away or cry. He chose neither, but continued standing there, wondering how someone could say something like that.

"Bye, Summer," he whispered.

"No, wait!" she pleaded "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"I didn't mean to say that. I don't even mean that. I don't know what they even meant."

"You don't know anything about me!"

"Yes I do. I know you more than I know Matt and I have known him for like ten years!"

"How could you say that to me?"

"I didn't mean-"

"Would you really leave me?"

"Were not together, Seth."

"But if we were."

"I don't know. I've never been in that situation."

"Would I really be that awful to spend your life with? For any girl?"

"No," she whispered.

Seth started noticing that people were walking all around him He started walking away and she followed him over to where their conversation would not be so public.

He found a quiet spot underneath a snow ridden tree and looked at her again.

"Am I really that bad?"

"No, Seth, your not."

"Will I be alone forever?"

"No!" she screamed.

He looked taken back, but said nothing.

"Your perfect, too perfect. I don't think that any girl would ever doubt being with you."

"Except you."

"I'm with Matt."

"He cheated on you!"

"It meant nothing. He was only worried about me."

"Only worried about you my ass. He was only worried about you finding out and then you did and did nothing about it."

"Stop it. You have no right to judge him."

"I think this conversation is over now, Summer."

"Well, I think this conversation is just starting. Now, you wanted me to come over here, just tell me what you wanted."

"I did not want you to come over here, and even if I did for like three seconds, I don't know why. Now, just why did you think I

wanted you to come over?" his voice kept the attitude.

"I don't know why, but I could tell."

"How?" he spoke slowly and forcefully.

"Your eyes, Cohen, I could see them like all the way over there," she said, pointing to where she previously stood at the bottom of the lift.

"Well you must have seen wrong."

"No, I didn't."

She didn't talk. She only looked deeper into his eyes- the eyes that kept so many secrets. The eyes that told her about him.

"What is your problem?" she asked him.

"You."

"Besides me."

"Nothing."

"Tell me!"

"You wanna know? Like really know?"

"Yes!"

" You and him. Together. He cheated on you, Summer. And you know about it. He doesn't even love you. He knows nothing

about you. I know more about you than anyone I know. Anyone. Does he know that you only like pancakes when you are somewhere when it snows? Or that you don't like bananas because your dad gave them to you so much when you were little that you got sick of them. Or that you don't like the smell of lilac. Does he even listen to you hen you want something? Is he there bringing you soup when your sick? Does he do those things for you, Summer?"

By now, she had started crying. He knew more about her than her own boyfriend did. But, she had to learn to accept that she had Matt and not the boy standing looking at her.

"No, he probably doesn't, but I can't help that. You know what the worst part about this situation is?"

"What?"

"I like you. A lot. Fuck, a whole lot. But I can't. It's too hard. It has made my supposed drama free vacation hell."

"Oh good, I made your vacation hell. Great to know."

"If you would let me finish, you would know what I was going to say. Now, shush," she added, raising a finger to her lips. "It's

been hell because I can't have you. I want to, so bad, but I can't. I have Matt and he told me everything and that he is sorry. He's really sorry."

With that extra 'he's really sorry', Summer know that she was only trying to tell herself that he really was sorry.

"So, just know, that if things were different, then we might have been able to have something. But, just for now, I just.. I.. I need you to stay away."

"Summer."

"Please.. just go."

"Bye, Summer," he spoke just above a whisper.

"Goodbye, Seth," she whispered to his retreating form and saw his dark hair get lost in the crowd.

---

Two days later and Summer had not gotten out of her bed. She told Matt that she was sick and that she didn't feel up to skiing, but that he should go anyways.

She got up and made her way over to Matt's laptop that he brought with him.

Summer opened the internet and made her way to the search bar to search for address and phone numbers.

Slowly typing in "Sandy and Kirsten Cohen", she knew that there, at that precise moment, there was not a chance she would back out of the promise she made to herself.

Hey, thanks for reading. So, let me know what you thought on this chapter. I'm not sure what I think, so maybe your reviews can help. Suggestions are welcome.

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