author's note: i'm really surprising myself with how frequently i'm updating. usually i have to have a deadline or else i'll slack off.
i have a confession to make. i am not really that much of a slash fan. whoops. but maybe this chapter will make up for the lack of gays in this so far. (or gay. there's only one for now.) (and a half. don't forget kenny.)
i do not own south park. or AIM. or iChat. or facebook.
craig fucker is available - 7:04PM
craig fucker: if surfer rosa were a person and not an album i'd marry it in a heartbeat regardless of gender or orientation
ClydeHeartsTacos: I don't think we can do practice tonight dude.
craig fucker: why the hell not
ClydeHeartsTacos: Well for one there's that Geometry test tomorrow
ClydeHeartsTacos: and then there's the fact that Tweek is currently passed out on my couch.
craig fucker: wtf
ClydeHeartsTacos: I know right?
ClydeHeartsTacos: Maybe this cutting out caffeine altogether thing isn't such a good idea.
craig fucker: whatever would make you say that
ClydeHeartsTacos: Oh shut up.
craig fucker: where's token
ClydeHeartsTacos: Eating dinner I think.
ClydeHeartsTacos: He told me at football he's pretty sure his parents know there was a party but they don't have any substantial evidence to go on.
craig fucker: there'd better not be
craig fucker: i spent two fucking hours scrubbing that pile of puke in the guest room alone
ClydeHeartsTacos: You know I would have been there to help if my mom didn't call Token's phone wondering where I was.
craig fucker: which is yet another reason why you need a cell phone
craig fucker: also so i don't have to get on fucking iChat to talk to you
craig fucker: what are we 12
ClydeHeartsTacos: Well if you didn't hate Facebook Chat so much then we wouldn't be having this problem now would we?
craig fucker: they changed it again and it sucks ass
craig fucker: it was okay with the picture thing but how it has people's names again and it's ugly
craig fucker: now*
craig fucker: and every time i go on there people i hate try to talk to me about their stupid lives
craig fucker: you'd think the multiple statuses i've posted about not giving a fuck would have tipped them off
craig fucker: but no
craig fucker: get a phone
ClydeHeartsTacos: I don't trust cell phone companies. Not since Tweek made me watch that documentary on The Patriot Act.
craig fucker: you actually believed that shit
craig fucker: everyone knows michael moore was a robot built by the ACLU to make people feel guilty for being alive so they could harvest their organs once they committed suicide
ClydeHeartsTacos: Duh.
ClydeHeartsTacos: I know like 75% of what he said was a bunch of liberal propaganda
ClydeHeartsTacos: (and don't get me wrong, I'm a Democrat and all)
craig fucker: political parties are fucking stupid
craig fucker: you can't even vote yet
ClydeHeartsTacos: Shut up I'm making a point
ClydeHeartsTacos: But he brought up a ton of valid points about the cell phone industry.
ClydeHeartsTacos: And if I recall correctly he was your personal hero before Stan and them got involved in that first amendment lawsuit.
craig fucker: that was a long time ago
craig fucker: i gave up on filmmaking for an entirely different reason though
ClydeHeartsTacos: No you didn't.
craig fucker: yes i did
ClydeHeartsTacos: No you didn't.
craig fucker: yes i did
ClydeHeartsTacos: No you didn't.
craig fucker: yes i fucking did you asshole can you shut the fuck up
ClydeHeartsTacos: I can keep doing this all night dude. No you didn't.
craig fucker: don't try to tell me what i think
craig fucker: yes i did
ClydeHeartsTacos: Okay, suppose you did have a good reason. What is it?
craig fucker: clyde i'm warning you now it sounds really gay
ClydeHeartsTacos: Coming from you? Never.
craig fucker: shut it douchenozzle
craig fucker: i got into documentaries because a good portion of them are hardhitting accounts of things people need to hear that the news doesn't extensively cover
craig fucker: or at least that's what i thought
craig fucker: middle school was a confusing time for everyone okay
craig fucker: then my aunt liz took me to see the crucible at DCPA and i realized theatre can be just as hardhitting even if it's only allegorical and/or satirical
craig fucker: if not more hardhitting
craig fucker: and even if they're supposed to be "real" documentaries sometimes require multiple takes and a bunch of editing
craig fucker: if an actor fucks up onstage you can't fix it
craig fucker: therefore it is much more brutal
craig fucker: and at the risk of sounding like the biggest glittering sparkling queer in all of colorado
craig fucker: when you see a really good play it's kind of like magic
craig fucker: and i want people to walk out of my plays feeling the same way i do when i walk out of one
craig fucker: okay i'm finished
ClydeHeartsTacos: …Are you high?
craig fucker: i'm pretty baked ngl
ClydeHeartsTacos: Of course.
Token S Black is away - 7:37 PM
ClydeHeartsTacos: No practice tonight.
Auto Message from Token S Black: I am away from my computer right now.
ClydeHeartsTacos: No practice then I guess right?
craig fucker: fine
craig fucker: you can go finish your stupid whatever it is you're doing
ClydeHeartsTacos: Contrary to popular belief homework isn't stupid.
ClydeHeartsTacos: If I'm not the fourth generation of my dad's family to go to CU I might as well be disowned.
craig fucker: he isn't even your real dad
craig fucker: and i love how you jumped straight to the word disowned
craig fucker: L O fucking L
ClydeHeartsTacos: Dude it is not my fault your dad's family is the only outspoken homophobes left in this town.
ClydeHeartsTacos: Except Cartman but I already know your theory on that.
craig fucker: are*
ClydeHeartsTacos: Whatever.
craig fucker: except red
ClydeHeartsTacos: Well obviously.
craig fucker: i guess she's the only person i'm related to who i can stand to be around for more than ten minutes at a time
craig fucker: but
ClydeHeartsTacos: Ruby isn't so bad.
craig fucker: she has her moments but then again you don't live with her
craig fucker: "craig drive me to the mall"
craig fucker: "craig lend me ten bucks for a movie"
craig fucker: "craig get out of the bathroom i have to period everywhere"
craig fucker: wow i wonder why i like guys
craig fucker: but honestly red's sanity has fucking deteriorated since she started dating broflovski
craig fucker: i know kevin was a dick to her and all
ClydeHeartsTacos: Kevin just really sucks with people.
ClydeHeartsTacos: He isn't as much of a dick as everyone thinks he is.
craig fucker: always the optimist
ClydeHeartsTacos: Maybe I am.
ClydeHeartsTacos: I was just raised to give people the benefit of the doubt before I label them an asshole.
craig fucker: whoop de fucking do
craig fucker: what i was saying was
craig fucker: i know he was a dick to her but that isn't a valid reason to not trust broflovski
craig fucker: there are other reasons
craig fucker: one of them being he's a snitch
ClydeHeartsTacos: That was ONE time.
ClydeHeartsTacos: We were 11 and cheating off his paper.
craig fucker: once a snitch always a snitch
Token S Black: Oh cool
Token S Black: cause I'm grounded
ClydeHeartsTacos: WHAT
Token S Black: Mrs. Broflovski called
ClydeHeartsTacos: safkjkfslskdfj
ClydeHeartsTacos: DUDE
ClydeHeartsTacos: HAS TOKEN IMED YOU YET
craig fucker: no
ClydeHeartsTacos: Do it.
craig fucker: why
ClydeHeartsTacos: Just do it okay?
ClydeHeartsTacos: Tweek's kind of knocked out on my couch so I can't tell him the news
ClydeHeartsTacos: but I imagine if he were awake he'd be acting like I'm acting now.
Token S Black: Hold on Craig just IMed me
ClydeHeartsTacos: K.
craig fucker: I JUST TOLD YOU
craig fucker: SNITCH
craig fucker: TOTAL SNITCH
craig fucker: WE ARE SO DEAD
ClydeHeartsTacos: So dead.
craig fucker: goodbye band
ClydeHeartsTacos: Goodbye social life. It was nice while it lasted.
craig fucker: goodbye coachella
ClydeHeartsTacos: Goodbye Comic Con.
craig fucker: goodbye chance of moving out of this state and finding a guy i'm attracted to in person
ClydeHeartsTacos: Goodbye getting Bebe to notice me again.
craig fucker: dude
craig fucker: not happening
craig fucker: ever
ClydeHeartsTacos: A guy can dream can't he?
ClydeHeartsTacos: When are they telling our parents?
Token S Black: They're not
ClydeHeartsTacos: Huh?
Token S Black: I told you they were at this fundraiser in Denver for the weekend right
ClydeHeartsTacos: Yeah.
Token S Black: Kyle's mom called them Saturday night asking if Kyle was doing okay because she couldn't get through to him
Token S Black: Therefore they assumed that all the parents knew there was a party happening
ClydeHeartsTacos: Oh my God I have never loved your parents more than I do now.
ClydeHeartsTacos: At first I was crying out of sadness but now it's out of joy.
ClydeHeartsTacos: They think all the parents know.
craig fucker: i know
craig fucker: i was just fucking with you
ClydeHeartsTacos: FUCK YOU
ClydeHeartsTacos: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT ANYMORE.
craig fucker: but it's too funny not to
ClydeHeartsTacos: You know what?
ClydeHeartsTacos: I'm gonna go check on our bro going through a severe caffeine withdrawal like a good decent friend does.
ClydeHeartsTacos: Then I'm going to finish my Geometry homework like a good decent student does.
craig fucker: is this some faggy way of trying to make me feel inferior
craig fucker: cause it isn't working
craig fucker: fucks given: 0
ClydeHeartsTacos: Fuck off dickweed.
ClydeHeartsTacos: Craig's being a dick.
Token S Black: And this is surprising?
ClydeHeartsTacos: I'm just saying maybe it's time to tell him.
Token S Black: We can't yet
Token S Black: You know how he gets
ClydeHeartsTacos: If not now when?
ClydeHeartsTacos: And who gives a fuck if the band isn't called Clyde and Those Guys?
ClydeHeartsTacos: We have a right to voice our opinions just as much as he does.
Token S Black: Damn dude
Token S Black: Have you been drinking that coffee we confiscated
ClydeHeartsTacos: A little.
ClydeHeartsTacos: Caramel macchiatos are amazing btw.
ClydeHeartsTacos: Have you done the Geometry review yet?
Token S Black: Yeah
Token S Black: It's actually not that hard
ClydeHeartsTacos: But proofs are WEIRD.
ClydeHeartsTacos: I have a hard enough time with math.
ClydeHeartsTacos: Why do we have to write shit out?
Token S Black: You could always go to our study group tomorrow
Token S Black: Oh wait
Token S Black: I'm grounded
Token S Black: Shit
Token S Black: Brb asking my parents
Clyde: Hey.
Wendy: Hi, Clyde.
Clyde: Has Token texted you or anything?
Wendy: Um... no?
Clyde: His parents just grounded him so he
doesn't know if he'll be able to do study
group tomorrow.
Wendy: Oh. Well, I guess that explains
why.
Clyde: I don't have a phone so I'm not
sure if that's part of his punishment or not.
Usually my parents just take away my car
and tell me I can't hang out with anyone.
Anyway.
I'm having a tough time in Geometry and I
was wondering if it was cool if I came
tomorrow.
Wendy: Of course you can.
This might sound a bit forward, but if Token
can't do it, would you be interested in letting
us use your house?
It's totally okay if you can't.
We'd do it at mine but my mom works late
and she'd probably complain about the cars
blocking the driveway.
And also my dad works from home and he'd
probably come in and ask a billion questions.
Clyde: Hold on I'll go ask my mom.
Token S Black: Are you still there
Token S Black: Cause they said no
Token S Black: Clyde
ClydeHeartsTacos: Sorry dude I was checking on Tweek.
ClydeHeartsTacos: We're doing it at my house.
Token S Black: What? How?
ClydeHeartsTacos: Wendy asked me to.
Token S Black: They also took my phone
ClydeHeartsTacos: She said to go IM her on Facebook.
Token S Black: Why aren't we talking on Facebook
ClydeHeartsTacos: Good question.
Clyde: I can do it.
Wendy: Okay, awesome.
Clyde I had one of those brownies you
made Cartman at lunch.
It was AMAZING.
Wendy: He shared them?
Ugh, I should have known.
Clyde: He thought you put arsenic in them.
And Kenny was absent so he made me be
the guinea pig.
Wendy: I can't believe he did that.
That was my apology gift for questioning
his motives yesterday.
Clyde: Uh what?
Wendy: Nothing.
Clyde: You brought it up so you have to
spill.
Wendy: No, I don't.
Clyde: Yeah you do.
Wendy: I'm not telling you.
Clyde: Why not?
Wendy: Just because I'm a woman, that
does not mean I have to tell a man what he
wants to hear.
Clyde: Oh come on that isn't even what
that's supposed to mean.
Wendy: It can mean anything it wants.
Clyde: You're confusing me.
Wendy: It isn't that hard to do.
Goodnight.
Wendy is offline.
Clyde: Why does Wendy pull the Feminist
Card when she doesn't want to talk about
something?
Token: Because it works
Clyde: I know you can't host the thing but is
there any way you can get your parents to
let you come over tomorrow?
Token: Probably not
They used the word "indefinitely"
Clyde: Oh shit not indefinitely
But I don't know what happens at these
things.
Token: I'll take you through it tomorrow at
football.
How's Tweek?
Clyde: Still asleep.
I told his dad we're working on a project
together.
Token: Good
Go work on your Geometry
It's like 9
Clyde: Ugh. Fine.
See you at school.
Token: Later
author's note: i'm still working on the soundtrack. it's not really a "soundtrack" as much as it's a collection of background music/the music i think different characters listen to. but i'm going to post it when i finish it for good. i don't know when that is yet, but it's going to happen.
