Chapter VIII

(1 ABY, Echo Base, Hoth System)

Leia sat at her office, rummaging through the stacks of datapads and flimsy notes filled with briefings' reports, supplies' request, personnel assignments and all the unending stuff that came with being one the Alliance's leaders. She closed her hands around her mouth and nose, trying to use her breath to somehow warm herself.

It was so cold it physically hurt!

Her skin felt like millions of small needles prickling her…

She recalled everyone's dismay around the first days after their arrival on the Hoth system. Four months afterwards, they were still complaining! But no one did that job better than the pilots…

With naturally inflated egos, starfighter pilots could still whine like small kids when things didn't quite go their way. The eternal ice age in which this planet was locked in gave the men and women in their squadrons a panoply of problems, ranging from the more personal issues, - always focused on the ineffectiveness of the cold weather uniforms to actually do its job ! - to the pressing headache of getting the various spacecrafts to work under such extreme conditions.

The one pilot who didn't get any right to complain though was Luke!

And everyone loved to remind him that it had been him to stumble upon this Ice Ball. Especially the rest of the Rogues…

Granted the decision to move the main fleet there had undergone analysis and it had been under the consensus of herself, Generals Rieekan and Cracken and even the Lady Mon Mothma, that the order to transfer the fleet had been made. But everyone still wished Luke had crashed onto a more… temperate planet.

Still, the cold wasn't the only reason for her discomfort. A headache had been tormenting her since the dawn, and thinking she still had a meeting with the Squadron leaders and General Rieekan wasn't making her a happy girl. She pushed herself onto finishing the task at hand, - promptly ignoring all supplies' request that included the initials 'W.J.' on them. Those would have to be double-checked with Wedge and Luke first... - so she could finally leave the cramped office, and try to find some free time to unfreeze a bit with that awful mix the mess officers called Caf.

Leia was just finished when a door buzzer sounded. She groaned to herself, muttering internally.

"Come in."

A blond head peeked from the door, and blue eyes stared at her. "You said you wanted to see me?" the silvery voice asked.

Leia smiled widely at the young man entering her office. "Yes, I did. Sorry, I got so hold up in these…" She pointed at the stacks on her desk. "That almost lost track of time."

"If it isn't of pressing matters…"

"Don't be silly, Tych!" Leia held her cousin close. "It's always good to be able to spend some time with you."

The Alderaanian pilot smiled, locking the door and taking the seat Leia was offering. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"You've been hanging around Janson a lot lately." Her tone implied absolute certain, not an interrogation.

Tycho snorted, shaking his head. "So? Are you worried I'm taking a crash course in 'Pranks and Jokes'?"

"No…" Leia gave him a lopsided grin, one that had become more to see in her these days. "What I am worried is if you're not projecting your pains onto him."

"I'm not sure I'm following you."

"Are you sleeping with him?"

Tycho gaped at Leia. "Well, that escalated quickly! Did you really call me here to inquire about my sex life?"

"You had a nervous breakdown just some months ago!" She reminded him. "You're still knees deep in therapy…"

Tycho raised his palm, cutting her off. "Are you saying that I'm too crazy to get on with my intimate life?" His voice carried a hurt tone to it.

Leia lowered her gaze, shaking her head. "No… that's not…" She took a deep breath before resuming. "I just want you to be sure why you enter any relationship when you do so. Don't just mute the pain in someone else's arms. It's not fair for you… and not fair for him too."

"Listen, Leia." Tycho reclined in the chair, rubbing his face with his hands and raking his fingers through his hair. "Me and Wes? We're not a couple, Ok? So there's one less thing to worry about. Both of us have some serious issues to deal with before we even dare to actually commit to a relationship. As for your question, - No! I'm not having sex with Wes Janson…" He muttered.

"Wow!" Leia giggled. "That sounded like frustration! Anything you want to confide in me? Umm?"

Tycho leaned forward letting out a couple of curse words. He peered at Leia, sitting imperturbable in her chair. "He won't do it!" He let out, clenching his hands in front of him.

"Oh…" Leia looked at him wide-eyed. "You're not telling me he's not accepting that you…?"

"No, no! Not that! He knows."

"And?"

" His reaction? - 'Uh… Ok…' - and that was it. I don't believe anything surprises that guy, anyway…" Tycho shrugged.

"So what's his excuse?" Leia asked.

"He says I'm not ready. He says..." Tycho grunted, pressing his lips. He took a deep breath, collecting himself. "He says, that I'm trying to use sex as a way to escape my deep buried pain." He opened his arms wide, rolling his eyes.

Leia got up from her desk, pacing around the office, covering her eyes and shaking visibly.

Tycho glared at his cousin. "Oh, yes...please, do laugh at my misery…"

"I'm sorry but I just can't come to term with the mental image of Wes Janson - our Wes Janson! - being the calm and collected one, refusing sex, and to top it all, giving some actual sound and sage advice!" Leia told him, in between bouts of laughter. "And you! You, Mr Seriousness, Mr Stoic… being the one actually begging for sex? Come on!"

"I haven't been begging for sex!" Tycho whined.

"So, what the hell have you two been doing?"

"Talking and making out, basically…"

"Talking?"

"Yeah, talking…We trust each other. About everything!" Tycho gave a shy smile. "He's a bit more insightful than people give him credit for, you know? He's been through some shit! I told him everything about me. Well, about Lylah… He was cool about it. Makes no difference to him the fact that I was born…" Tycho bit his lip. "... a female…" He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh.

"And it shouldn't bother you either." Leia got around the desk, leaning down to her cousin, giving him a tight hug. "Lylah Celchu and Tycho Celchu… you've always been my cousin, and I've always loved you and admired you. You did what you had to do to finally feel comfortable in your skin."

"Remember when my mom got frustrated that I always insisted on wearing my hair short and that I threw every single dress back in the closet without so much as taking a look at them?" The Alderaanian chuckled. "Dad always seemed to accept it better…"

" I can barely remember the last I did see you in a dress!"

"It was last month…"

"The bet doesn't count!" Leia kissed him on the top of the head, sitting on the chair's arm. "Besides you and you Wes…"

"He's not my Wes!"

"As I was saying! - You and Wes did throw quite a show dancing to those Taanabian folk songs."

Tycho grinned at the memory. "Yeah. It was fun. But I would have preferred to do it with my own clothes, thank you!"

"Your mother loved you. And she did accept you too."

"I know. I only wished she hadn't insisted that it could be a phase…" Tycho got up stretching his back. "The moons have phases! I don't!" He looked at the Chrono on his wrist. "May I go now? Are you satisfied with the result of your interrogation?"

"As long as you know what you're doing...both of you."

"You mean what I'm trying to do and he's not doing to me…" Tycho kissed Leia on the cheek, unlocking to office's door. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to try and corner a lovely Taanabian on a discreet place, so I can back him against a wall and steal a kiss from those sexy plump lips before we head out to our next mission!"

Leia leaned on the door frame watching her cousin leave. "Come back in one piece. That's an order, Lieutenant!"

Tycho stood in attention, giving her a salute with a cocky smile on his lips. "Yes, Your Highness! I mean, we only have to infiltrate an Imperial research facility," He enumerated with his fingers. "avoid security, pray the codes we're using are still accepted, get the schematics to their new assault ship, oh, and steal said starship! Did I leave something out?"

"Coming back alive from that mission!"

"Like I said...easy…" He winked at her. "So long, Leilei… "

"So long, Tych…"

Leia smiled watching the young man leave. Every time Tycho left for one of his missions, her heart skipped a beat at the thought of losing her last relative. She always kept a prayer in her lips for the Rogues…

She wondered at how much those pilots had become good friends with her. She knew that, no matter how dark the odds seemed, the Rogues were always on hand to help!

Leia picked up the datapad she needed for her upcoming meeting and left her office, walking through the icy corridors, lost in her thoughts. She passed through the north hangar before she headed to the briefing's room, - which was in the exact opposite direction. - and walked to where Luke's X-Wing was stationed… right alongside the Falcon !

She greeted Chewie, once again fiddling with the compensators of the freighter, but Han was nowhere to be seen.

Like she cared!

Except she did…

"Leia!" Luke's excited call brought her back to her senses. "I thought you had a meeting this morning!"

"I do. Weren't you supposed to attend it too? After all, you are Rogue Leader !"

"Nope!" He smirked, raising his eyebrows. "That would Commander Narra's duty today. I have a mission to fly to!"

"You Snubfighters...always craving for the rush of battle!" She punched him playfully on the shoulder.

"I could do without the battles, you know? I find not dying to be extremely attractive. In fact, it's one of my favourite hobbies!"

"You called, Boss?" Hobbie's voice came from the starfighter next to Luke's X-Wing.

"No! I was saying 'hobbies' as in things I like to do, not as in 'Hobbie Klivian'!"

The gruff laughter of Wes Janson sounded from the other side.

"Oh, shut up, you!" Hobbie complained.

"I wasn't saying anything!" Wes whined. "Oh! Hi Leia! Uh… Highness...ma'am…"

Leia laughed at the pilots, shaking her head. "That's alright, Wes. It's just us here. No need for formalities. But we do need to have a conversation! A 'ranks-off' one." She informed him.

Wes rested his hands on his hips, gaping at the princess. "What did I do?"

"Apparently, it's more what you didn't do !" She told a confused Janson, while Tycho broke in laughter.

The Taanabian glared at the other man before turning his attention back to Leia. "If it's going to be 'ranks-off', I'm gonna ask you about something you haven't been doing either…" He winked at her before getting back to prepping his starfighter.

Leia squinted at him, giving him an 'I see you' gesture. "Well, I just came by to wish you good luck, boys… May the Force be with you!" She said, leaving the pilots to their pre-flight checks. She was just some steps out of their reach when she turned back to gaze at them. "Do come back in one piece...all of you." With a smile she left for the corridor, hoping the next she'd see them would come swiftly and it wouldn't include a visit to the Bacta chamber in the MedBay...or worse...

"You look somber…" A deep, rough voice, paired with a warm breath, sounded on her ear. Leia couldn't help to get startled. "A bit jittery today Your Highness ?"

Leia huffed. There's was always something in the tone he said it that enervated her. It seemed almost mocking, taunting…

"Captain Solo." She greeted him, tensing.

Han smirked leaning on the corridor's wall, standing in front of her. "Oh, it's 'Captain' today, uh?"

"Listen, Capt… Han… I have somewhere to be right now." She began.

"I see… Couldn't stand to start your day without saying 'good morning' to me?" He teased her playfully. She was always so tense ever since the evacuation of Yavin IV…

"Don't flatter yourself!" She shook her head, rolling her eyes. "I came to wish good luck to Luke and the boys." She whispered.

Han turned to look at the place where the X-Wings were, watching the pilots climb into their cockpits and reading themselves for take-off. He let out an audible sigh, looking at his freighter.

Leia followed his gaze and she knew automatically what he was thinking. "You can't always just tag along with them, you know?"

"They are quite capable of looking after themselves." He muttered, without any real conviction to his words.

"Luke knows what he's doing." She continued. "He's not a kid anymore… he had that stolen away from him by the empire…" She whispered.

Han gazed at her. He could see it all: the strength, the courage, the sheer willpower.

But also the vulnerability, the fears, the doubts…

"So did you." He said.

"What!?" Leia looked at him inquisitively.

"The Empire took your right to be just an ordinary kid too. Only they took it piece by piece, for a longer period of time. You're only twenty! You should be living your life, enjoying it to the fullest… not being stuck with us here." Han lowered his eyes.

"Like you did?" She scoffed. Han might still be a mystery to her, but the small things she'd been able to get out from him, spoke of a much harder childhood then she could ever imagine. Whatever had happened to him during his formative years, and turned him into the Han Solo standing in front of her.

"The galaxy is a dark place, princess …"

"Isn't that what we're fighting to change?" She asked him.

Han straightened himself, giving her a wide smile. "We're trying!" He waved at her, turning to exit of the corridor and heading to the Falcon , "So long, Princess …"

Leia remained a few moments more watching as the X-Wing's engines whistled throughout the hangar, as they hovered mid-air just before they took off. She saw them accelerating and gaining altitude until they disappeared from her sight. The Hangar's Crew Chief ordered the blast doors to be closed again, and Leia turned to head out to her meeting. There was an instant where her gaze met Han's and she could almost feel his worry and apprehension. They acknowledged each other and nodded before Leia disappeared into that corridor too.

A feisty princess; an old Jedi and a hopeful, stubborn farmboy…

Han smiled to himself.

They had changed his life forever!