Literary..
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Summary: Sakura is a famous fanfiction author. Syaoran is the best beta she's ever had. They share a world made of the words and tales they weave and write. But they don't know that they know each other...in real life.
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Full Summary: He promised he'd come back for her. She promised to wait for him. But a misunderstanding creates a giant rift between Sakura and Syaoran, enough to break the powerful friendship they once shared. To escape fate's blows, Sakura seeks solace in fanfiction and soon becomes a famous author on the busy Fanfiction Corner, under the alias Sayuri. She's lucky enough to meet Lang, and he becomes her greatest fan, faithful beta, and online buddy/soulmate. Wait until she finds out that "Lang" is really Syaoran, the cause of all her troubles...
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a/n: 315. Holy geez, you are all simply amazing. Please, please keep up your support!
All right, this chapter is probably what (a lot of you) have been waiting for. I wrote more than half of it today, so forgive any lapses/rushed thingies. I'll probably edit it later when I have time.
Enjoy!
Chapter Seven. Bittersweet
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Syaoran's POV
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...you'd already ended things between us before I even said yes to – forget it. Why do I have to explain anything to you?
I sit down on my bed slowly, my head still spinning around Sakura's words. My eyes finally break away from the spot where she used to be standing, and they land instead, on the picture of her and I as kids.
I feel sick. Not just uneasy, but sick. My stomach is churning and I feel like throwing up. What just happened here?
Nothing I'd expected, that's for sure. Then again, the entire confrontation was somewhat sudden. Scratch that, it was completely out of nowhere – and I mean that literally. What's a guy supposed to do when his age-old rival-turned-friend-turned-stranger randomly crash-lands onto his roof at eight in the evening? Invite her in for tea?
Maybe once upon a time I would have, but at the moment, I wasn't feeling too civil. Even though my aggravation toward her might have lessened a bit after what Tomoyo told me, I still didn't know how to handle that new Sakura. And just – Kami, what was I supposed to have done? It took all of my control not to simply lash out at her and demand to know what it was that she was hiding from the rest of us. What changed her. It's not like it's any of my business or anything but...it's just...I need to know!
Lame excuses, I know, but I think I've hit my saturation point. I mean, sure, I wasn't the most communicative individual these last seven years – okay fine, maybe I do take the blame for that. Maybe I should have called more often – maybe I should have written more often... If I'd spent less time chatting with Sayuri on the Fanfiction Corner, then maybe I could have witnessed the change in Sakura for myself. And maybe she would have confided in me...
It strikes me that maybe this is entirely my fault. If only I'd saved more time for my friend, then maybe this distance wouldn't have existed between us. Maybe I would have had the right to confront her the day I returned, to just ask her about her decisions. Maybe she would have had the courage to clear up any misunderstandings between us. If only...
I close my eyes as I try to remember that night. My first night in Tomoeda. The night I apparently ended our friendship by slamming the door shut on her face. The problem is, I don't remember doing that at all. Even Kami-sama knows that if Sakura had showed up at my door, I would have tripped over myself to see her and tell her that her Syaoran-kun was back. If she'd showed up at my door...I don't think she would have left here for a long time afterward, because there would be so much to catch up on.
But she says she did. And that, contrary to what I would have wanted to do, I ended up locking her out.
I hear the door open, and before I can react, I hear Meiling's voice at the doorway.
"What are you doing?" she asks.
I open my eyes to meet hers. In response, her eyes widen and she takes a half-step into the room.
"What the hell happened to you?" she demands, hands flying to her hips. "You look like you got beaten into the afterlife and then back again."
Cheers, Meiling.
"Thanks," I mutter, wondering if my brawl with the Fight Card had truly been so draining on me physically. Somehow, it doesn't seem to matter anymore.
Meiling lets out an exclamation before flipping an odango over her shoulder.
"Earth to Syaoran!" she calls, her face mottling a bit. "I'm talking to you, you know."
"Yeah, I hear you," I mutter, rubbing my eyes distractedly. "I'm a bit tired, in case you haven't noticed."
She lets out a scoff, but falls silent. Moments later, I feel her sit down on the bed beside me.
"You're hurt," she says, her voice rising. "There's a rip on your sleeve and a bruise on your face. Have you been fighting?"
"Of course not," I reply in a caustic voice. "I fell off the roof, didn't you know?"
I meet her gaze defiantly, expecting her to jump to her feet indignantly and leave in a huff. Fine by me. I could use some privacy, just to sort things over in my head and figure out what I should do. But, surprisingly, Meiling holds my gaze without anger or indignation. She looks, well, thoughtful, almost...
"You were talking to Sakura, weren't you?" she asks slowly, her eyes searching mine for an answer.
I choke a little and burst out coughing. What the – how the hell did she know? Is she psychic or something?
"I'll take that as a yes," Meiling says dryly as I recover from my coughing fit.
I gape at her. She rolls her eyes.
"You're red as a beet," she explains. "There's only one girl you turn red around."
"I do not!" I protest hotly, but I think I just turn even redder in response. Stupid, stupid, stupid -
"Why were you talking to Sakura, of all people?" Meiling presses, her eyes curious. "I thought you were angry at her."
"None of your business," I mutter, feeling my ears turn hot. Great. Now I'm beginning to talk like her too.
She sighs.
"Suit yourself," she says, getting up from beside me. "Oh, by the way, even if you weren't talking to Sakura, maybe you'd like to tell me how this ended up outside your room?"
She holds something out in her hand. I double-take at the sight of the pink, rectangular Sakura card in Meiling's fingers.
"Well?" Meiling presses, holding it out to me. Without a word, I snatch it from her. The card is still warm. When did she drop it? Isn't this supposed to be magic? Why doesn't anything make sense anymore?
"She came to see me," I mumble, against my will.
Meiling raises an eyebrow.
"Willingly or did you force her?" she asks dryly.
"Not now!" I snap. "The day I came back from Hong Kong. She said she came to see me."
Meiling stares at me. I think I see apprehension dawning in her eyes.
"Oh..." she says in a voice that makes me feel suddenly uncomfortable.
"And then -" I swallow before continuing, "she told me that I shut the door on her. Told her that she wasn't getting anything from here -"
"Kami!" Meiling breathes exasperatedly. "You did! I heard you say that, but you thought it was some lady collecting for charity or something. Remember?"
I gape at her stupidly for a good moment, before it all comes crashing down upon me.
That girl. That girl by the gate. What had she said?
"Hello? Are you -"
And I'd cut her off. Fuck, I'd even sworn at her. And – Kami-sama – I'd even denied it to her, and I'd spent all this time trying to figure out why she was mad at me when really...
"Fuck," is all I can manage.
Meiling gazes at me, part sympathetically, part disgustedly.
"That's right," she says, most unhelpfully. "You fucked up big time there."
She sits down beside me.
"So what are you going to do about it?" she asks me briskly.
She catches me off guard.
"What?" I ask her.
She shoves me off the bed. I end up sprawled at the ground by her feet, all the wind knocked out of me.
"I asked you -" Meiling says pointedly, getting to her feet and grabbing my shoulders, "-what you're going to do about this."
"About this?" I repeat uncertainly. She pulls me roughly to my feet. "Um, run to her house to give back the Fight card and then apologize?"
Meiling nods curtly.
"Good idea," she says approvingly. "Although I think you owe her more than an apology. At this rate, I think she deserves an explanation."
"Meiling -" I start, searching her face. "I thought you didn't like her."
She sighs.
"I don't dislike her either," she says by means of explanation, as if that's supposed to make any sense at all. And then, in a gesture of cousinly support, she shoves me out of my room and closes the door behind me.
I take the hint and run.
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Sakura's POV
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I wipe the tears away from my face hastily as I stumble into my yard. I feel lost and hollow from my encounter with Syaoran, and right now, all I want to do is run into my room and confront Kero about the Fight card. Anything to distract me from the emptiness I feel right now.
I grab the key in my pocket to unlock the front door, but to my surprise, it's already open.
What...?
I open the door cautiously and enter my house silently, closing the door quietly behind me. The lights are still on. There's a blanket half-draped over the couch. I see a vase overturned and, as I follow the trail of mess that leads into the kitchen, I see the remnants of a shattered teacup. The one Dad always drinks from.
It takes me a good moment to notice the green tea that has spilled over the ground.
Fear grips my heart in its icy cold grip. I stumble backward from the kitchen, sick and cold.
"Otou-san!" I gasp, my voice choked and wobbly already. My foot catches on the rug and I fall backward, sprawled on the ground in a daze. Scrabbling blindly, I get to my feet and stagger back the way I came, following the overturned vase, the disturbed rugs and slight scuff marks of boot-clad feet back to my doorway. As I open the door and look into the night, I see a deserted street. The one I had trudged through morosely, not seconds ago.
"Otou-san!" I repeat again, my voice louder, echoing slightly in the street. My legs buckle beneath me, and I grab the doorpost for support, clinging to it like a lifeline. Even as I slide to the ground, waiting for an answer, I know that the house is empty and no one will hear me.
Touya – Touya isn't even home. Dad – something happened to him. Something serious, because the house is always spotless. Kami-sama, what happened to him? Why wasn't I home when it happened? Why, why was I so selfish? How could I have let this happen?
"Sakura-chan!"
Kero flutters by my side, his features urgent.
"Where were you?" he demands, protective as a guardian beast like always. "Your father and brother were so worried about you and then -"
"What happened to Otou-san, Kero?" I demand, my voice hoarse from crying. I grab him in my hands and gaze at him desperately. "Where are they?"
And please, let it not be my fault...
"Hospital," Kero says, and I feel my own heart stumble. Hospital? What? "Fujitaka-san had a – a -"
"A what?" I nearly scream, shaking him. "What?"
He gulps.
"A heart attack," he says, so quietly I don't hear him at first.
"A heart – heart – attack," I stutter, the word sounding ugly and forbidding on my lips. "A heart attack?"
Kero nods.
"Kami," I breathe, getting to my feet. I head up to my room, taking the stairs two at a time.
"Sakura!" Kero yelps, flying after me. "Where are you going?"
I don't look at him as I throw a drawer open and grab a few odds and ends.
"I have to go to him," I say feverishly, throwing Dad's prescriptions and medicines into a bag and slinging it over my shoulder.
"At this hour?" Kero screeches, fluttering in front of my face. "Sakura, they went in an ambulance and Touya was worried sick about you! You look exhausted and you haven't eaten all day, and it's snowing outside. Where are you going to go now, and how are you going to get there?"
I pull on my winter coat and grab the key hanging around my neck.
"I have my ways," I say shortly. "Kero, you are to stay right here. Turn off the lights and lock the doors. And when I come back with Otou-san and onii-chan, we have to talk about the Fight card because it went berserk on me today!"
Before he has a chance to react even, I transform the key into my wand and summon the Jump card. For the second time today, tiny wings appear on the bottoms of my heels and I leap out my bedroom window and into the December sky.
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Syaoran's POV
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I race down the street, praying that I'm not too late. I need to talk to her. I have to talk to her. Please, please let her not be so angry that she won't even listen to me. Please. I can't lose her again. I can't.
Even though I haven't been to her house in years, I know exactly which one it is. To my surprise, all the light are off. That's strange. Weren't they all on earlier?
I race up the steps to her door and ring the doorbell. I can hear it echoing inside the house.
Nobody answers.
I press it again, desperate. Again, no answer.
Please, Sakura, I think deliriously as I press the doorbell. Answer the door.
But she doesn't. And I don't blame her. I wouldn't open the door for me if I was her. But – but she has to listen to me. She's got to know that it was all just a stupid mistake and I'm so sorry about everything – everything I've done since.
"Sakura!" I call out, knocking on the door loudly. "Sakura, it's me! It's Syaoran! Please, I've got to talk to you! Listen to me, please!"
There's no sound. Panic rises within me. Kami, have I lost her again? Images of young Sakura rise in my mind and I stifle a cry. I can't lose her. I can't.
"Sakura, open up!" I call again, louder. I ring the doorbell repeatedly. "There's something I have to tell you! I know you're angry at me but please! Listen to me for two minutes, just two minutes! And then you can hate me for as long as you want and I promise I won't mind. Please, Sakura!"
I wait with bated breath, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe she'll answer the door.
But she doesn't and I pound on the door again, harder.
"I won't leave until you listen to me!" I holler. "Sakura, open the door!"
I hear something shuffling behind the door. I freeze, holding my breath.
The door swings open. I squint. It's dark inside. Am I supposed to come in or is she coming out to me?
"Sakura?" I ask, my voice losing its hysterical edge.
"Not quite," replies a voice I haven't heard in years. "But get in here before you make yourself look even more like an idiot."
The insult doesn't even register as I cross into the household and the door swings shut behind me.
It's pitch black inside the house. All the lights are switched off and I feel my senses tingling. I sense something powerful, lingering just inches before me. And it's not Sakura either, which means it must be...
A light switches on, blinding me momentarily.
"It's been a long time," says the same deep male voice. I detect scorn and a definite dash of dislike in its tone before I open my eyes and whirl around.
There's a giant armoured lion seated before me, and its hackles are raised.
"Keroberos," I greet him vaguely, wondering whether Sakura's sent him to fry me up in punishment.
He regards me stonily, his eyes scanning me critically and contemptuously.
"What are you doing here?" he asks eventually.
"I'm here to talk to Sakura," I answer immediately, my wariness vanishing instantaneously. "I – we – she has to know something -"
"And what makes you think she wants to listen to you, of all people?" Keroberos asks me, narrowing his eyes.
Shit. She's that mad at me?
"She has to," I insist, and he scoffs a little. "No, you don't understand. I have to tell her that – that I was wrong. I made a huge mistake."
"About time you realized," he observes, rather serenely as he crosses his paws before him and closes his eyes.
"Don't rub it in," I mutter, looking around me. The house is partly in a mess and it's still pitch black. "Where is everyone?"
"That," Keroberos says in a gruff voice, "is none of your business."
"But-"
"What do you think of yourself?" Keroberos demands, his eyes snapping open fiercely. "You may be descended from Clow Reed, but you have no right to such arrogance. My mistress has been under terrible strain of late and if she chooses not to confide in you, then you should consider it an indication to stay out of her life – not the opposite."
I hang my head, biting my lip.
"I know," I say eventually. "I don't deserve to know, I know but – Kami, I don't even know what I was thinking -"
"You weren't thinking at all," Keroberos admonishes in his deep rumbling voice.
"That too," I concede, deliberate in my tirade against myself. "Listen, I was an idiot – I was stupid, insensitive and arrogant – but I want to make it up to her. I mean it, Kero."
He regards me for a few long moments, and I can feel my heart thumping painfully in my chest.
"She's not here," he says finally, and I let my breath out in a sharp exhale. I didn't even know I'd been holding my breath for so long.
"She isn't?" I ask sharply. "Then where is she? She should've been home by now -"
Worry settles over my head: if anything happens to her, it'll be my fault. All my fault.
"She is not in any harm," Keroberos interrupts my panicked flow of thought. "But I cannot tell you anymore than that."
"Please," I say desperately. It's the closest to begging I will ever get.
His somber eyes meet mine and for a good minute, we just stare at each other. It would almost be a staring content, except those are for amateur negotiators.
At long last, he speaks.
"She jumped out the window and went west," he says vaguely.
And that's the best I got out of him.
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Sakura's POV
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I've been in the hospital so many times before. But a moment like this – I don't think I've felt anything like it since before the eleventh grade started.
I was supposed to go to the Nadeshiko festival with Tomoyo and the rest. I remember being so excited, as usual. I'd chosen which kimono I wanted to wear, which shoes I'd wear with it, how I'd do my hair differently because I was growing it out...
And then all of a sudden, Touya's panicked voice echoing up the stairwell. My heart stopping for a moment, maybe two, before racing down into the kitchen and seeing Touya kneeling on the ground with my father listless and barely conscious in his arms.
The world seemed to close in on me that day. I remember that stifling feeling, the first time I'd been in an ambulance. The medics hovering over my dad, always so strong and so happy, now weak and fragile like a petal on the breeze. Hearing words that were unfamiliar, but spoken in such urgent, clipped tones, they filled me with dread and despair. Worst of all, the waiting. Waiting on the sidelines, watching the masked and robed paramedics struggle to keep him alive. Waiting outside the ICU, with the red light perpetually lit and the only news from the breathless doctors being no news. Waiting by Dad's hospital bedside for the anaesthetics and tranquilizers to release their hold on him and watch him regain consciousness...
I remember that day so clearly, because it was the day my life changed. Of course I had dealt with loss and fear and imminent doom during my days of card-capturing, but it was a different fear that gripped my heart when the doctors told Touya and I that my beloved Otou-san had leukemia and needed to be transferred to a hospital in Tokyo to undergo therapy.
Those six weeks in Tokyo...they were worse than a nightmare. Because nightmares, no matter how terrifying or how long, are never real. They're just figments of the imagination, fated to span the length of one night. And once they're over, a person can sigh and think to themselves, thank Kami-sama it wasn't real. But those weeks in Tokyo, that week in Tomoeda's hospital...they were as real as I was. The fact that my dad, my only remaining parent, was dying was not just a figment of my imagination. It was real. And I don't know how Touya and I pulled through, growing accustomed to ignoring that small whispering voice that hissed in our ears, he's dying, he's dying, every time we looked at Dad through the hospital windows.
I didn't think he would ever come so close to danger again, not since he underwent a marrow transplant a little over a year ago, a few months after we returned from Tokyo. But now, standing in the atrium of Tomoeda Hospital and waiting for the receptionist to direct me to Dad's unit, I feel like the nightmare has come alive again and I'm slipping through the cracks into the chasm once more.
"Kinomoto Fujitaka," the receptionist reads off a computer screen. "ICU. They're in the process of moving him into the operation theatre."
Stifling my gasp of panic, I thank her hurriedly and race up the stairwell, all nine flights to where the cardiology department's operation theatre is. In the wide hall, lit by successive fluorescent tubelights, doctors and nurses clad in cerulean blue and teal green mill about in stark contrast against the whitewashed walls, making me feel very dizzy. I sight someone sprawled on one of the plush-backed seats in the waiting area, his dark-haired head buried in his hands. Touya.
I push and shove through the through of doctors, until I've tripped over my own feet and caught my Onii-chan's attention. He doesn't ask me where I've been or why I wasn't home when it happened. He just looks at me, and his dark eyes are anguished and terrified, and it hurts so much to see my big brother and protector reduced to this state. I pull him close to me, and his arms wrap around my shoulders tightly. I bury my head into his solid chest and I let myself cry there, in the shelter of my big brother's arms. And I pretend not to notice the shaking convulsions that grip his body, pretend not to notice the growing moisture gathering on my shoulders, where he's pressed his face so that no one can see his tears. But I feel them. And he feels mine. At this moment, it could just be the two of us, bound by blood and, even stronger, this tearing, searing, twisting grief.
"Will he live?" I try to ask, in between violent hiccups and sobs. My voice is thick because my tongue feels dry and swollen; I can't even understand what I'm saying anymore.
"I don't know," Touya answers. His voice is quiet, like a strangled whisper. And he takes a deep, shuddering breath in.
Time passes. I don't know how much time. Waiting rooms seem to be in a time warp. Hours pass by in a span of seconds, while second hands tick slower than minute hands. It's all one giant, confused mess.
"What are they doing to him?" I ask in a small voice, thinking of the doctors with scalpels and scissors and pointed probes. I remember dissecting pigs last year in biology. I remember cutting open its abdomen and peeling its heart out of its body. In sick punctuation to my thoughts, I vividly hear the shattering noise of bone crunching as I cracked the ribs back in order to expose the pericardial sac -
Urgh. I think I'm going to be sick.
It must have been hours since Dad was admitted here, and still the red light is lit above the operation theatre doors. Touya and I both feel exhausted and empty, but neither of us can even think of eating or sleeping. My mouth and the back of my throat are parched, but I don't want water. I don't want sustenance. All I want is news. Kami-sama, is that too much to ask for?
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Syaoran's POV
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She jumped out the window and went west.
Thanks Keroberos. That is a great and helpful hint.
Not.
After stepping out the door feeling highly disgruntled, I decide to pounce on his words. What was west of Sakura's house? The street? A convenience store? A patch of trees? I sigh, jamming my hands into my pockets and start to walk westward.
By the way, Tomoeda is deserted at this time of night.
After walking aimlessly for about an hour, and stopping only when progress onward was physically impossible (i.e. a giant river cut across my way of passage), I tell myself that I have to approach this carefully. Keroberos is a guardian beast, and he doesn't like me much. He won't make this too easy for me.
I race home as fast as I can. I don't bother entering through the main gate or waking up any of the servants (or Meiling, who sleeps with one ear open). I slip in through the window and tiptoe into my bedroom.
Now, where in Tomoeda would Sakura be right now?
The answer comes to me in an instant.
Get a map.
Of course. That would make things a bit easier for me, wouldn't it?
Man, Syaoran. Where is your fabled brainpower?
I turn on my PC and wait impatiently for it to load. Now that I'm in a rush, it seems to take twice as much time as usual for the desktop to appear. The universe truly does work against me. Humph.
I open an Internet browser and call up a detailed map of Tomoeda. Finally, when the image finishes loading, I examine it closely.
I see where Sakura's house is, just a street south of mine. I trace a line from it in a westward direction, noting any major landmarks that come in the way. But the only significant thing that comes in the way is the commercial district. And why would Sakura go shopping at this hour?
Maybe she's at someone's house.
There are a couple of residential neighbourhoods west of her house, but as far as I know, nobody at Seijou lives there. I rack my brain, thinking of all the people Sakura could have visited. Tomoyo is at the top of my list. But she lives north of us.
Tarou? Shit, would Sakura visit him at this time of night? It's almost one in the morning, for crying out loud! I think Yoko once mentioned where he lived – around the tourist district, near the Ookawa line. That, according to the map, is a good fifteen minutes southeast of her home.
I think of various people she could have visited, my mind conjuring up names with alarming accuracy. Chiharu, Naoko, Rika, Yamazaki...
None of them live west of her.
I close my eyes, trying to focus. Where could she be?
Did Keroberos give me a valid hint, even? Or did he just spout a bunch of nonsense, just to get rid of me?
Now that I think about it, that makes more sense...
The next thing I know, my head is on my desk and my hand is asleep. I realize I've dozed off at the computer and it's almost two in the morning.
Shit.
Way to go for wasting time.
I grab the mouse and wave it around frantically, getting rid of the screensaver that's been playing away on the monitor. The image of the map comes back into view.
I'm examining it with narrowed eyes when, all of a sudden, the image shifts.
I blink and realize that I've pressed the left arrow key with my elbow by accident. Then, almost without thinking, I press the left arrow button feverishly again.
The map pans in a westward direction, showing areas just outside of Tomoeda.
This is it, I think to myself as my eyes fix upon a small red cross, barely visible in the corner of the map. I click on a tiny magnifying glass and the image zooms into sharper relief.
Directly west of Sakura's home, just on the outskirts of the town, is the general hospital.
I freeze, as the events of the evening play out before me.
Sakura, focusing on the lights in her house. Getting there, not twenty minutes later and finding the house deserted. Pitch black. In a bit of a mess.
Keroberos in his guardian form, refusing to tell me any more of her whereabouts.
She jumped out the window and went west.
Unbelievable, I think to myself as I reach for my amulet and summon my magic. I open my window and jump, rooftop to rooftop, in a westward direction.
Kero wasn't lying.
But as I get closer to the hospital, other thoughts begin to plague me.
Why would they all be in the hospital? Did Sakura get hurt? Did anyone in her family get hurt? Why were they all there and why weren't they back home yet? How serious was their situation?
Worst of all, what if I found Sakura in the middle of something, well, private? Something she'd rather I not see?
What if she thinks that I'm intruding again? She already hates me...
I shake myself free of these thoughts as I land in front of the large, clean institution and walk inside. I'll have to trust myself to handle things properly. I've bungled things up too badly; it's time I fixed this mess once and for all.
With this thought in mind, I approach the receptionist and, taking a deep breath and steeling my courage, ask whether any Kinomotos have visited the premises.
"I'm sorry," the woman tells me apologetically. "The visitor list is strictly confidential."
Praying for once that my hunch is incorrect, I ask her whether any Kinomotos are admitted in the medical facilities.
"Let me check," the receptionist says, typing away at the computer in front of her. Around me, the soft murmur of people walking into and out of the atrium forms a buzzing drone that threatens to lull me to sleep.
"There's a Kinomoto Yuri in pediatrics," the receptionist says finally.
Kinomoto Yuri? I've never heard of her and I don't think Sakura has any relatives named Yuri. I shake my head.
"There's also a Kinomoto Ito, who checked out this afternoon," the receptionist reads.
I shake my head again.
"Mm..." the receptionist muses, clicking on something else and staring at the screen for a few moments before saying, "And there was a Kinomoto Fujitaka who was in intensive care earlier this evening."
Kinomoto Fujitaka...
Sakura's father.
That means – oh no...
"Where is he now?" I force myself to ask, my voice sounding weak and brittle. Memories of Sakura's father, that kind, guileless man, swirl around in my head. Please, please don't tell me that he's expired, please tell me he's in stable condition...
"He's in the cardiology department," the receptionist says. "Ninth floor, west wing."
"Thanks," I stammer, rushing off to the staircase. I don't feel comfortable in an elevator right now. The small enclosed space would really make me feel as though the walls are closing in about me. I can't describe the feelings within me, and I know they must be nothing compared to what she feels.
And all I could think of was my petty jealousy, my trivial little complaints about Sakura and why she couldn't wait for me. I'd been so wrapped up about myself, I'd completely missed out about her family life and shit, I'd even suspected that something was wrong, too...!
I round the landing of the ninth floor and turn into the hallway. Just as I pass a room, soft voices catch my ear and I halt in my steps.
"...isn't there any way you can continue?" a shaking female voice – Sakura's voice! - is asking.
"I'm sorry," answers a kindly but unfamiliar male voice, older and smoother. "The patient's medical history requires a specialized surgical process, and unless our surgeons receive the down payment up front, they cannot continue with this procedure. I understand your situation, Kinomoto-san, but administration regulations being what they are..."
"But he'll die!" chokes Sakura's voice hysterically, and to my horror, I realize that she's sobbing. "He's going to die and all you care about is the money!"
"Kinomoto-san, please calm down -"
"Where are we supposed to get fifty thousand yen liquid from, and in such a short time?" Sakura demands, and her voice is cracking with anger and despair. "My dad hasn't been able to work full-time in over a year, and we can barely cover our insurance payments! My brother is just a student, and I'm just a minor – we don't have the resources to – doesn't the hospital have an emergency fund set up for this?!"
"Would you like me to get in touch with your insurance company?" asks the male voice, very evenly and very kindly. "Maybe they'll be able to work out an arrangement -"
"You know that he has leukemia!" Sakura cries, and I freeze. What? "It's been difficult enough managing his medicine and his therapy and that transplant he had last year!"
Fuck.
"I'm sorry, miss," the male voice says, damning in its helpless sombreness. "It's the rule, there's really not much else we can do for him..."
"You don't care." Sakura's voice is vicious in its vehemence and I feel shivers running all over me. "You don't care if he lives or dies. All you care about are your bureaucratic loopholes!"
And without another coherent word, I hear her jump to her feet. I move out of the doorway as the door opens with a resounding bang. I see her race out of the room and down the hallway, shoulders shaking in grief and one hand wiping her face fruitlessly.
I can't move. I can't think. I can't do anything except dwell upon what I've just heard.
Tomoyo was right. Something terrible had happened to Sakura. Something that she didn't deserve.
Her father...had leukemia. He was dying.
Kami.
And I hadn't been there for her, because I'd been such a blind, immature fool. Hoping that she'd been the same since I left her, never realizing the hell that she went through every single day...
The conversation between her and her brother the week she broke her ankle – no wonder she didn't want to visit the doctor! And I thought she was just being a bitch...
You couldn't understand... her voice whispers in my head, and I feel my heart shattering. Because she was right.
I just couldn't understand her.
I've never felt so small or so incompetent in my life. How could I have been so close-minded? Now things have escalated so badly that Sakura's father is dying, and there isn't a bloody thing I can do about it.
I turn away when an idea strikes me.
Sakura may be angry at me, but she needs me right now. She needs me to help her. I can't turn my back on her, because I'll never be able to forgive myself if Kinomoto-san dies.
After making sure that Sakura is out of sight and out of earshot, I walk into the small room. It's a small office and seated behind the desk is a harried-looking man. The department administrator, I realize. He glances at me tiredly, and a weary smile slips onto his mouth.
"Can I help you, young man?" he asks me, in a voice that gives away how exhausted he is. It is, after all, half past two in the morning.
"That girl who was just here," I say, my heart beating painfully fast somewhere close to my neck, "that girl whose father needed surgery -"
"Yes?" the administrator asks, straightening in his seat slightly.
I take a quick glance at the door, making sure no one is in the vicinity, before taking a seat directly across from the man.
"I want to pay for her father's treatment here," I say in a quiet voice, softly but firmly. "The down payment for the surgery, the surgeons' fees, everything. I don't want her – them – to go through any more troubles than they already do."
The administrator's eyes widen behind his spectacles. After clearing his throat gently, he gives me a kind smile.
"That's very generous of you, young man," he says. "Unfortunately, you're talking about quite a large sum of money – possibly upward of eighty, ninety, maybe one hundred thousand yen -"
"I'll pay it," I say without a moment's hesitation. I reach into my pocket for my wallet, and pull out the access card to my platinum deposit sitting in Hong Kong, one of the several lying around in my name that I've never, ever had cause to use. "Any charge you ring up, you bill it to this number directly, do you understand?"
His eyes widen as he takes the shiny red card from my hand with shaking fingers.
"We – I -" he stammers, clearly never having confronted a minor with such a large resource of wealth at his disposal before. "Do you have any identification with you, uh -" he glances at the name emblazoned on the card, "Li-sama?"
From 'young man' to Li-sama in thirty seconds flat. Hah. Not bad.
I pull out my wallet, throwing down my passport, my birth certificate, my driver's license, my student ID card...
"Thank you," the administrator cuts me off. "I believe that will suffice. Um, you will be required to sign a few documents – or your guardian, rather...?"
"I'm here alone," I say to him, adopting the cold powerful voice I use when addressing the Elders in Hong Kong. "My guardians are in another country, and I manage my own money. So unless you want to fly out and get their signatures...?"
He shakes his head quickly, assuring me that it won't be necessary.
"Good," I say pointedly. "Now, get those surgeons moving. I wouldn't want to pay all this money and find out that the girl's father di – didn't survive."
Fuck. I hate myself for manipulating this man so easily, and even more for sounding like such a cold, arrogant bastard. But it's for a good cause, and if it can save Kinomoto-san's life...if it can make it up to Sakura in any way, then it'll be enough. Please let it be enough.
The admistrator gets up and races out the room before I can blink twice. I hear hurried instructions being muttered and the sound of urgent footfalls echoing across the hallway.
In record time, the administrator is back, clutching several sheets of legal-size paper in his hands. He lays them on the desk in front of me.
"You'll have to sign these," he says to me, breathless and still in shock.
I pore over the documents quickly, scribbling my signature over twelve dotted lines.
"One condition," I say, sliding the papers over to the man's side of the desk. "Keep this anonymous, okay? Don't tell her my name – and especially don't tell her brother either."
The administrator gives me a funny look.
"But what if she insists?" he asks absently.
I sigh, running a hand through my hair.
"Well, if she absolutely insists on knowing, just give her this."
And I place something on the desk, before heading out the door, the first true smile I've smiled in a long time spreading across my face.
-
Sakura's POV
-
By the time I finish crying my eyes out in the girl's washroom and come out into the waiting room, I see a flurry of activity going on in the operation theatre. The red light is illuminated, glowing brightly against the white wall.
What...?
An intern walks out of the theatre, and I stop her.
"What's going on?" I ask, my voice hoarse from crying so much.
"We're administering the sedatives," she informs me. "And then going ahead with the procedure."
And she careens off down the hallway, leaving me standing here in shock.
They're going ahead with the procedure?
How?
I see Touya, slumped over the seats, his eyes closed. Rushing to him, I shake his shoulder gently.
"Onii-chan!"
He wakes up, staring at me through bleary eyes.
"What's going on?" he asks thickly.
"Where'd you get all the money from?" I ask urgently.
He instantly becomes alert.
"Money? What money?" he asks, frowning.
"For the surgery!" I tell him. "Touya – they're operating on him! Look!"
And I point to the operation theatre and the glowing red light above it.
"But how?" Touya asks, open-mouthed. "We didn't pay the down payment – Sakura, did you do anything?"
I open and close my mouth, wondering whether my tears had affected the department administrator in any way...
"I asked them for some time?" I suggest tentatively. "Really nicely?"
"Did you cry?" Touya asks sharply, noting my swollen red eyes.
I don't answer.
He groans.
"Works every time," he mutters, before closing his eyes and going back to sleep, visibly more relaxed. I watch him for a moment, and then I glance at the operation theatre door, hope bubbling in my chest. The dark cloud of worry that had oppressed me for the whole evening had dissipated somewhat.
It's okay, Sakura. He's going to be okay...
But I have to get to the bottom of the mystery, even if Touya was too tired or grateful to figure it out. What prompted the administrator to change his mind and go ahead with the procedure, breaking one of his precious rules in the process?
Was he truly that moved by my tears?
I walk slowly to the end of the hallway, entering the office in a daze. How long has it been since I was in here, begging the man to save my father's life? How much time does it take for a man to grow a conscience?
"Ah, Kinomoto-san!" the administrator says to me brightly as he sees me. "I hope everything is all right for you now that the surgeons are working to keep your father out of danger?"
I try to speak, and after a moment, I find my voice.
"Thank you," I whisper. "Thank you for listening to me and for – for giving him another chance."
He tilts his head to the side.
"What do you mean?" he asks, unable to stifle a small smile.
"You know," I say. "Going ahead with the procedure, even without the down payment?"
His eyes widen.
"Without the down payment?" he asks incredulously. "Kinomoto-san, your father's treatment has been paid for in full amount. That's why your father is being treated right now."
My jaw drops.
"What?" I ask, unable to believe it. So Touya did manage to get the money! But how? And why wouldn't he tell me?
"Yes, I know," the administrator says, beckoning me to take a seat, and I do. "You're very lucky to have received such a generous donor with such resources at his disposal -"
"Wait," I say, narrowing my eyes. "Generous donor?"
"Why, of course," he says disarmingly. "He came in just moments after you left, and insisted that he pay for everything. What else was I supposed to do? I was feeling guilty after all, and your father was fading away..."
"Who was it?" I ask, my eyes widening. I never believed that anyone could be so generous or compassionate, until now. Who could have possibly found it within themselves to part with so much money, for our sakes? Nobody even knows that Dad's in the hospital! So then, who...?
"He absolutely insisted that he remain anonymous," the administrator says with a sigh. "But, I think some things were meant to be shared between friends."
What?
He reaches down, and pulls out a blank manila folder, which he gives to me.
"He left this for you," he offers with a quick smile, before getting up and leaving the room.
Curiosity pounding away within me, I hold my breath and open the folder.
And lying harmlessly inside, in stark contrast against the creamy manila paper, is a long pink rectangle.
The Fight card.
Disclaimer: CSS is CLAMP's, everything unfamiliar and therefore worth no money or compensation whatsoever belongs to poor, penniless me. xD
a/n: Well, I think that was dramatic and soap opera-y enough for all of you. It actually turned out a lot longer than I'd expected it to. Hm.
And I hope you all stop hating on Syaoran now! -glare-
Oops, in all the excitement, we completely forgot about why Fight went psycho. Ah, never mind. Now that Fujitaka's okay and SxS are practically reconciled, we can finally MOVE ON. Yes...
Okay so, um, things are getting crazy at school and new semester starts tomorrow! Which means I'm three months away from exams and six weeks away from my next major break (and less than twenty four hours away from the biggest academic crunch I will have ever experienced to date). Meaning that updates before March break are unlikely at best (yes, I'm sorry but that's the way the cookie crumbles). Just thought I'd give a heads-up about that.
Anyway, I posted a poll up at my profile. If you really, really want a certain fic to be updated next, please vote on it. I can promise one update on one fic in mid-March, at least. Which fic it is all depends on you. If I'm feeling particularly productive (a.k.a. lazy IRL), I may churn out an update for two. May. No guarantee, though.
Ah, me exhausted...
Next Chapter: SxS are reconciled! Like, finally! Yayay! Read it and more in the next chapter, Lithium.
Please do review! I'm trying to maintain 30 reviews a chapter. Think you love me enough to do it for me?
:D
-Celestiana
