AN: GAH I AM SO SORRY.
I think this one kept slipping under my update radar because things just kept coming. RL was really dumping on me for a bit and then I sat down to write and I'd forgotten everything. This is a very short chapter becuase I wanted to update and this was me getting back into the swing of things.
Chapter 8
At last the bell rang for lunch. Miss Maleficant, who was teaching a class Adjectives and Adverbs, glared menacingly at her students. Those who had been foolhardy enough to stand up and start moving sat back down again meekly.
She kept them back for a further five minutes just to make the point.
'Your homework,' she informed them at the last moment, 'is to write me two to three paragraphs of Artemis Fowl story- using NO original characters- containing correctly used adverbs and adjectives. There must be a minimum of three of each in your story. Dismissed.'
With that she strode out of the classroom, leaving the students grumbling as they noted down the assignment.
'No original characters? That takes all the fun out of creating!' Jeanne fumed.
Elizabeth patted her on the shoulder. 'I know, but at least we get to write.'
'Two paragraphs!' Jeanne snorted. 'Right. Yeah. Cause we have to use paragraphs, now. I think it breaks up my story far too much.'
'Do you want to explain that to Miss Maleficant?' Elizabeth said resignedly. They both shuddered.
'Hiya, Jeanne,' said Holi, dropping into place on Jeanne's other side as she packed away her books. 'It's lunch now, right?'
'If this place has any semblance of sanity, yeah,' Jeanne said hopefully. 'Do you think they'll be giving us human food now?'
They all considered it.
'Nah,' they said as one.
'C'mon, let's go find the others,' Jeanne said. They traipsed off down the corridor with the rest of the students.
The lunch hall was pretty crowded. Despite the apparent lack of edible food, the students were nonetheless flooding in.
Jeanne and Elizabeth made their way over to the table where Iris and 2whitie sat.
'How was your morning?' Elizabeth asked as they sat down. She began to prod at what the cooks had assured her was a salad. Something slithered away under a leaf.
'Not too bad,' 2whitie replied. 'We had Math & Science Basics.'
Jeanne snorted. 'How old do they think we are?'
'Jeanne, can you tell me offhand the genetics of your last OC?'
'Uh… half fairy, half pixie, half human…' Jeanne trailed off.
'Exactly.'
'It's a figure of speech!'
2whitie and Iris both shuddered. 'Do not say that around the teachers. They'll set a troll on you.'
All the students shivered in memory.
'So, what was your morning like?' Iris asked.
'We had What's In A Name first.' Jeanne frowned. 'That was weird. She made us write out lists of all the characters we could remember-'
'-with points for spelling them correctly,' Elizabeth finished. She smiled smugly. 'I got extra for remembering the accent on Vinyáya.'
'And I got marked down for misspelling Turnball,' Jeanne scowled. 'I swear it only has one L.'
Across the hall, at the Staff table, all was not well.
'How are things going?' Miss Emrys asked Miss Maleficant politely around a mouthful of potato salad.
A glare made her shrink back and swallow her food.
'As first days of term go, it is certainly not terrible,' Miss Maleficant said grudgingly. 'I did give out two detentions and a homework assignment this morning.'
'Only two?' Miss Emrys said in amazement. 'Either you're slacking or they are unusually well behaved.'
'I know. But even I won't deal out punishment where none is due, although frankly some of the writing that I had to deal with…'
'I completely agree. During my free period, I had to compose another one of those terrible story extracts for my next group of What's In A Name, and I nearly threw up.'
'Wouldn't that be because of the amount of alcohol you had to consume to reach that level of illiteracy?'
'Partly, yes.'
Miss Maleficant smiled- or at least, the corners of her mouth turned up and you could see her teeth- and took another bite of her quiche Lorraine.
'The rest of the day is Basic Combat Training and MHTH. We don't have to deal with them anymore and we get to watch them suffer.'
'That does sound wonderful,' Miss Emrys agreed with a sigh.
Over on Jeanne's table, the conversation had mostly ceased in order to allow the students to choke down their lunch. It took concentration, especially as some of it was still moving and they had to catch it before it made it across the hall.
'Hey, guys,' Three said presently as she stabbed ineffectually at what might have been lettuce in a past life. 'Does anyone know- ow!' The lettuce wriggled and she stabbed her finger with her fork. The salad took the opportunity to slide away. 'Does anyone know what Basic Combat Training is?'
Jeanne determinedly speared a piece of something which might have been part of an animal but probably didn't quite deserve the title of meat. 'No idea, but- what is this? That smells rank- but it sounds bad.' She poked it with her fork and finally worked up the courage to eat it.
Over the noise of Jeanne throwing up onto the floor, tech17 thoughtfully picked at her bowl of slop masquerading as soup. It went gloop. 'Maybe it's a kind of military thing?'
'Could be,' Iris agreed. 'Sounds like the kind of thing you'd have to pass to get into the LEP or something.'
'Well, it can't be that hard,' Three said finally, her face taking on a green tinge as she swallowed. 'I mean, basic training- that's like, the beginners stuff. And it can't take more than a day.'
'It should be really easy,' Sophie commented. 'I remember writing some stories about this stuff- everyone aces basic training. That's why they call it basic. Three, you're looking a bit, well, green…'
'Like you can talk,' Three responded, gesturing at the half-sprite. Sophie blushed and winched in her wings self-consciously.
'Don't mind her, I think it's awesome,' Iris commented. 'I mean, you have wings.'
'I wasn't saying that there was anything wrong with it!' Three protested. 'I just meant she's green!'
The bell went for the end of lunch and the students poured out of the hall and into the corridors.
'Where do we go for Basic Training?' Sophie asked.
Iris consulted her unit. 'Courtyard, it says.'
'This place has a courtyard?'
'Apparently.' Iris glanced up at the nearest screen. 'Left here, then right.'
Yeah. I told you it was short. Sorry again. I've just got in from a roadtrip and thus am uploading this unfinished before I go collapse in a nice warm bed.
