Everything Changes
Chapter Eight
Nicole just stood there in the kitchen watching Piney walk away from her. Her head and her heart were racing, and her whole body shook as tears swelled in her eyes.
He was alive. That was all she could think about. Her cousin the person who she probably loved the most in this world was alive. He hadn't been killed by the man she looked up as a father figure or by the man she had given her body to just before running.
It was all a set up and the fact that she didn't know about it stung a little especially as the memory of those four months flashed through her mind. And with those memories she lost control and crumbled to a heap on the floor as her tears finally fell.
She stayed like for a while until the constant ringing of her phone brought her from herself wallowing. Wiping her now tear stained face she reached up and grabbed hold of the edge of the counter to support herself as stood on shaky legs.
Picking her cell up from the coffee table she looked at the screen and realised she had one missed call and a message.
Not surprisingly both were from Liam.
Hey sweets, have to go to the cash and carry will be home in about 30 mins.
Can't wait to see you, I hope you've rested today.
See you soon sweets
Love you Liam
Rest, hardly. She mused as she dropped her cell back onto the glass coffee table.
Today had really not gone as she had expected. Finding Piney on her doorstep was shocking enough, but hearing him tell her that Jax was alive and then going on and begging her to come to back to Charming, was...well she still hadn't figured out what it was, but strange was one word that kept pooping into her head.
What was going on in Charming that Piney felt the need to drive all the way to LA, and then she thought about why it was Piney. Why was it Piney instead of Jax, if he needed her why wasn't he here. And with that thought her eyes wondered onto the picture sat on top of the fire place.
Walking over she picked it up and stared at it as her thumb ran over his face. And that was it. She knew she hadn't really got a choice. She had to go back, she had to see him. Consequences damned.
"That was absolutely amazing. But you really didn't have to go to all this trouble Babe, you should be resting." Liam told her as he finished the last bit of his roast beef, before taking a sip of his 2001 Merlot.
"It's fine." She shrugged. "Plus you've been so good to me lately, I just wanted to say thankyou."
"I'm your fiancé, it's my job to look after you."
"And as your fiancée it's my job to make sure that your able to look after me." She remarked playfully as she brought her own wine glass to her lips. "And speaking of..." Nicole got to her feet, picking up her almost full plate-she didn't really have an appetite- before making her way down the eight seater table to where Liam was sat at the other end. "I've made desert. Your favourite. Strawberry cheesecake."
"I can think of a desert I like much better than that." Nicole let out a squeal as he pulled her onto his lap, making her almost drop the plate in her hand. Luckily Liam caught the plate and placed it safely on the table.
"Lia..." Nicole was cut off when his lips crashed against hers.
His hands worked his way up her bare thigh. Nicole leaned into his kiss upping the intensity, as her hand came up to cup his face. She was enjoying the moment enjoying the direction this was going and although her plan was working- getting him in a good mood before she dropped her bombshell- if she allowed this to continue she knew she would never get round to telling him. So she reluctantly pulled her lips from his, but remained close to him, her forehead resting against his.
"Liam."
"Yes." He answered breathlessly as his hand still continued to run up and down her thigh.
"I have to tell you something." His hand suddenly stopped as he pulled his head further back so he could at her properly. She could see his concern, worry. Rubbing her thumb over his cheek in a show of affection she continued knowing that he was dying to hear what it was she had to tell him. "I have to go home for a few days."
Liam was shocked and relieved at the same time. She wasn't dumping him, but as soon as the shock subsided he became worried. Nicole hadn't spoke a great deal about her family, just that she grew up in a small town in California. He knew that her parents had passed when she was young and after that she went to live with her Aunt and Uncle and her cousin- the same cousin that was in the picture with her that took pride and place on top of the fire place. She had also told him that she had fallen out with her family, although she never went into great deal as to what the argument was about but it was clear in her eyes when she spoke about it that whatever the argument had scared her deeply. And that was why he was shocked by her saying she had to go home, it was completely out of the blue. She hadn't mentioned her family in months.
"What's wrong, why now?" His voice angry but Nicole sudden felt herself stiffen. And she knew it was because she was about to lie to him, again.
"Because I think it's the right time. I know I said it didn't matter but now..." She shrugged her hand dropping from his face. She tried to put some distance between them- it was easier to lie to him that way-but Liam didn't let her escape. His hand grabbed her hip pinning her in place. Letting out a groan of frustration she continued. "I need to see them. I'm getting married and my family have no idea that I'm even with someone. I just..."
"You don't want to get married without them knowing?" Nicole nodded. It wasn't the truth but it wasn't exactly a lie either.
She was going back to Charming to see Jax, to see with her own eyes that he truly was alive. But if she did go back there she knew that she would have to eventually introduce them to Liam, she was marrying him for Christ sake, and hell would have to freeze over before her family would let her marry someone they had never met. Plus Piney had seen the ring so even if she did stay where she was there was a good chance that he would spill the beans anyway. It would defiantly be better if they found out from her rather than someone else. And she knew that from personal experience. Finding out Jax was alive from Piney stung like a knife to the chest.
"It's stupid I know, but I have to try. Do understand?" He leant in and kissed her before pulling back and resting his head against hers once again.
"Maybe I don't fully." He admitted honestly. "But if you feel you need to this sweet then I support you 110%."
"Thankyou." Her lips grazed against his.
"When are we leaving?" Nicole's head shot away from him.
"No Liam you don't...I have to do this alone."
"No." He spoke as he shook his head firmly. "No I don't want you going there alone. You don't have to do this by yourself. You have me now." He ran his soft fingerers up her arm. "I want to be there for you." Nicole stopped his finger from travelling any further by taking hold of his hand.
"And I love that you want to do that for me, but...I have to do this on my own."
"Nic..."
"Liam I've gotta go back and sort things out before I tell them about us, about getting married."
"But you will tell them." Liam couldn't put his finger on it but something about the look in he eyes worried him and it wasn't worry about her going back to her family he was worried if she would come back.
"Of course." Eventually. She thought but kept it to herself. She needed to take it in steps. She had no idea what she was about to walk back into, and if Piney was right and something was wrong with Jax then going back wasn't going to be easy and the last thing she needed to do was stroll back into Charming with an outsider on her arm. No her family would not take to kindly to that fiancé or not.
"I love you." He whispered against her lips as he kissed her again.
"Me to."
"Jay." God he didn't realise how much he had missed being called that or rather missed the one and only person who called him that. Ignoring everything, and everyone he closed the gap that lay between them, wrapping his arms around her as he lifted her feet off the floor. Her bags hitting the floor as she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him back with the same force as him.
"I missed you." He whispered into her hair.
"Me to." They continued to hold their embrace for a moment or to longer before the sound of heavy boots came up beside them tore them apart.
As Jax settled her back onto her feet, she turned to see he Uncle.
"Princess."
"Clay." Stepping over her bag she gave him a hug and placed a kiss on his cheek.
Nicole fought back her tears. She never thought she'd be back here. She never thought she'd see her family again let alone Jax.
"We've been looking everywhere for you. You okay?" Nicole nodded unable to speak for fear of completely loosing it. Clay dropped a kiss on top of her head, before whistling to one of the prospects.
"A round of shots to celebrate. Our baby's home." Nicole smile stretched from ear to ear as cheers erupted from her remaining family, before being dragged into their fold.
Clay stood back watching his niece exchange hugs and kisses with his bothers, but the scene didn't make him swell with pride like it had done in the past, because she wasn't supposed to be here. Not that her reappearance would change anything now-not really- they had just voted on the cartel and it had passed, so even if she did start getting into Jax's head it wouldn't make a difference. Even so he still wanted to know why she was here.
"This you?" Clay asked, his voice low. Jax tore his eyes from his cousin to look at Clay.
"No." Jax answered stiffly. As Clay's eyes returned the group. He knew exactly who was behind Nicole's return. Although as his eyes caught Nicole's again he was finding it a little to be mad at Piney.
"You look good." Opie commented as he pulled Nicole into a bear hug. "Where the hell have you been Nic?" He whispered into her ear.
Nicole knew that question would come and although she knew what she was going to say it still caught her off guard, sent her nerves sky rocketing. Will they be able to tell I'm lying?
"Here and there." She answered as she untangled herself from Opie, her eyes catching Kozik's. By Opie's question it was clear to her that he hadn't told them about seeing her, and for that she was grateful.
"Here and there? We checked here and there doll." Nicole turned to Tig who was now taking his turn of kissing her and pulling him into a hug.
"Well I kept moving you know." She looked around the group of men she loved like Uncles and brothers, except for one. But she stopped herself from making eye contact with those dark eyes. One step at a time. "I'm sorry I ran." She continued her voice thick with emotion. "I just..." Nicole stopped when she felt a hand on your hip. Glancing over her shoulder she watched as Jax came to stand beside her. His hand moving from her hip as he draped it over her shoulder pulling her close.
"Phil nother round." Jax cocked his head, as Phil nodded back in response, and scurried round the bar to get the drinks. Nicole noticed that he still had the prospect cut on. He obviously hadn't managed to secure his top rocker in the year, but he was still here meaning that the Sons still saw potential. She was glad, out of Phil and Miles she always favored Phil even if he had walked in on her while she was naked with Happy on top of her. She shuddered at the memory.
They all took another shot and raised another toast in her honer. They were happy to see her. She was relieved but the longer she stood with them the more she realised that something was up, they all looked a little preoccupied and Nicole wondered if it had anything to do with the current state of the clubhouse.
"So what happened here?" She motioned around the destroyed clubhouse.
"Dat wud be da new Sheriff. Roosevelt." Nicole looked at Chibs.
"A cop did this, shit. Wait does that mean Unsers..."
"Nah the old man's still alive." Clay said as moved to stand by her other side.
"Good."
"So where did you land?" Her eyes moved to Bobby's.
"LA." She answered dropping her gaze, she really didn't want to go into any more detail than that, although she knew that would be impossible. But that didn't mean she couldn't try. She placed her hand over her mouth as she faked a yawn.
"You tired?" She nodded her head at Jax.
"Sorry, but think I'm gonna have to call it a night." She announced sleepily.
"That's al'right princess. We've got an early wake up call ourselves." She turned to Clay. "We have a run to Samtaz. You still gonna be here when we get back, it's only an over nighter."
"Yeah, I'll be here."
"Good." He dropped a kiss onto the top of her head. "Promise we'll give ya a proper welcome home when we get back."
"I'm sure of that."
"Take it your gonna spend the night here?" Nicole looked her shoulder at Jax, who nodded in response to her silent question.
"Yeah." She turned back to Clay nodding.
"Okay." He pointed his finger in her face like he was about to tell her off. "You call your aunt first thing in the morning. She'll kill me that I'm not dragging you back home."
"I promise first thing."
"Good girl." Clay kissed her again before saying his goodbyes and leaving the clubhouse.
After watching him leave Nicole headed over to her bags and picked them up.
"I have to make a call. I'll be through in abit." She nodded at Jax and made her ways to his dorm, kisses placed upon her head as she promised them to catch up with them all when they get back.
Nicole was thankful for two things. One, they all knew that her and Jax needed some time alone, they had a lot to catch up on so no one tried to stop her from retreating early. And the second thing she was thankful for was the fact that her hands were occupied, because she didn't want any attention drawn to the fact of who she hugged or rather who she didn't. She could feel his eyes and it was taking all the will power she could muster not to look at him.
But as she was about clear of them she felt a hand on her wrist. Spinning her head round she came face to face with Piney. She didn't know whether she was relived or not.
He never spoke, instead he just dropped a kiss onto her temple as his hand squeezed her wrist. She knew this was his way of saying thankyou and sorry all in one, and as he pulled back Nicole flashed him a sweet smile, telling him that all was forgiven.
Nicole froze upon entering her cousin dorm. This was another thing she never thought she see again, never step foot inside of yet here she was.
It was weird how none of this felt weird. Seeing her family, hugging them, kissing them, just being near them, then there was the clubhouse itself, it had been a staple in her life since she could remember, it held so many memories some good some bad either way they were memories she would never change. She never expected to feel like this, feel so at home especially after only 5 minutes but she did, it was hard to explain but she didn't think she ever really left this place, even when she was in Nevada she had found herself in a place very similar to her home. But then she remembered this wasn't her home anymore and as if on cue her cell chirped from inside her handbag.
Placing her holdall on the floor out of the way of the door she reached inside her bag searching for her phone, only to come across the 6 carat diamond engagement ring she had shoved inside before entering the clubhouse. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed she found herself getting lost in the dazzling diamond only to be brought back by another chirp from her phone.
Scrunching her eyes shut she exhaled deeply as she placed the ring back inside her bag and fished out her cell. Two messages.
Hey Babe, Hope you arrived safely. Give me a
call when you can. Love you baby
PS: missing you already x
She scraped her fingers through her straight light brown hair, sighing deeply.
"You okay?" Looking up at the door she found Jax standing there, his eyes full of concern.
"Yeah." She answered dropping her phone into her bag as she let it fall to the floor next to her. He nodded but she could tell he didn't believe her.
She couldn't stop herself from giving him the once over. He looked exactly the same, well apart from the short hair, he hadn't had short hair since he was 16, it looked strange, good, but strange. When her eyes returned to his she caught him doing the same thing. A smile crept onto her face. God she'd missed him.
"You look good Nic."
"You sound surprised." she replied with a roll of her eyes.
"I am." She watched him take a deep, heavy breath and she knew that she hadn't been the only one who had suffered.
She sat still as he approached her, coming to kneel in front of her as he took her hand in his as his other hand came up to cup her cheek. She closed her eyes in a bid to stop the tears she knew we threatening to escape. She didn't want to cry.
"I was so worried..." He paused and Nicole could hear the emotion in his voice. Taking a minute, his hand clutching hers tighter he continued. "When they told me you'd gone, I was so scared Nic, I knew that you thought I was..." Nicole opened her eyes ignoring the tears the fell silently. He couldn't say the words and to be honest she didn't want to hear them and she really didn't want to be having this conversation with him. She didn't want to think about the past.
"Jay, I'm fine, I've been fine. We'll not fine considering that I thought you were..." She reached up and pulled the hand from her cheek and squeezed it tightly. "I missed you. I'm sorry I ran Jay. You tried to warn me but I didn't listen." Shocked, she flinched as Jax abruptly let go of her hands and got to his feet, his hands running over his face and cropped hair. She knew he was feeling guilty and for that she felt guilty to.
"I should have just told you." He shouted. Nicole stood to her feet. More tears escaping as she saw the hurt in eyes. Instantly she went to him, her hands cupping his face.
"None of that matters Jay, I'm fine, I'm alive and so are you that's all we should care about not the past okay." Dropping her hands from his face she pulled him into a hug. It took a moment for the tension in his body to ease, before he wrapped his hands around her waist hugging her as tightly as she was him. "I love you."
"I love you to Nic." They continued to hug one another, both savouring the moment as well as thinking about their own consequences of having the other back in their life.
"Don't know about you but I could do with a drink." Nicole smiled as Jax pulled back from her.
"God yes." Smirking he moved passed her and went straight to the bottom drawer of his night stand, and pulled out the bottle of Jack. The last time he had been drinking from that bottle he had been drowning his sorrows about his cousin who was still MIA after 14 months of searching, but now he was about to share the drink with her.
Nicole took a seat on the bed again as Jax went searching in his bottom draw. She was so happy to see him again but there was something niggling away at her, something that she hadn't been able to shake since her talk with Piney.
Jax took a swig from the bottle before handing it to her. She took a big gulp- she really needed it-wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she grimaced slightly from the burn before she handed the bottle back to Jax as he came to sit beside her.
"Why was it Piney who showed up on my door. And how did he know where I was?" Nicole was shocked by her own outburst. Of course she was dying to ask him that but at the same time she didn't mean to be so blunt.
Jax took another sip from the bottle. He didn't know what to say to her, what would make sense to her without telling her whole truth about the deal he'd made with Clay about getting out, the deal with the cartel, that the cartel was the reason Piney was on her doorstep instead of him. He knew to explain why it was Piney on her doorstep he'd have to explain all that shit and he would, he didn't want to keep anything from her again but at the same time he was tired. He couldn't have this conversation now. He just wanted to enjoy the moment, enjoy having her back without spoiling it all with all that shit.
He took her hand once again.
"How long are you here for?" He knew that she had a life in LA now, and that she wouldn't just throw that all away-well actually she would if she thought he needed her- but this was just a visit he knew that and in one way he pleased. He didn't want her here. He hadn't forgot about the reasons why he had made the deal with Clay about leaving Nicole where she was. She was safer out of Charming. Ironic. He never thought that would be true.
"A few days I guess." To be honest Nicole hadn't really though about how long she was going to be staying with is why she had and open ended ticket. "I don't know." She shrugged reaching for the bottle and taking another swig.
"I promise I'll you everything but right now Nic I'm tired, we're heading out at 6.30 and I just wanna enjoy this I don't wanna..."
"Okay." She cut in. She could see the strain in his eyes. Piney was right Jax needed her and she was going to do whatever she could to help him, but at the same time it had been a long day and she couldn't agree with him more, plus she didn't want the conversation heading down a road she wasn't ready to go down.
"Okay?"
"Okay." She mirrored the smile that was now gracing his face. "So did you have a boy or a girl?" For a spilt second Jax wondered what the hell she was on about and the he realised that she hadn't been around to see the birth of his son, just like he hadn't. Draping his arm over her shoulders he pulled her closer.
"A boy. His names Thomas."
