A/N - I revised this chapter on 01-10-2016
What lies do you, Present, tell us?
What truths do you, Past, hide from us?
Tell me, where are your borders laid in time?
We all washed ourselves and changed clothes before dinner. Everybody, including Ryuzaki, who waited until everybody had left the baths, so he was completely alone again. Once refreshed, it was visible that everybody felt invigorated and filled with a new positive energy.
Now, we are sitting among the villagers, between cheerful campfires, breathing the delicious air of cooked food and chatting merrily. My father retells our adventures in the desert but omits the part of our first encounter with Ryuzaki and Near. I wonder why he does so, just like I wonder why my family and I chose to hide this detail too. I wonder if it is because it sounds way too fantastic to be real or because we could accidentally endanger the raven-haired man and his son. After all, superstitions are a very real thing and people can do mad things because of fear.
Anyway, the villagers just assumed we travelled together from the last border community. So, my father tells them about the challenging days under the scorching sun, tells them about the little paradise that the Oasis of Fortune is, tells them about the terrifying sandstorm. He also talks about the daily struggle and increasing difficulty of surviving in our home town.
"We live in difficult times." The old mad man speaks with a mournful voice, his eyes resting on Ryuzaki's. "The ancient golden ages are nothing more than a sweet and vague memory. We have become a shadow of our ancestors."
I roll my eyes and resist a rude groan. I've heard the legends of the Golden Age and the Great War a thousand times. The last thing I want to listen right now, is some demented guy telling his own distorted version of this myth. Can't they understand that it didn't really happen? There were no gods and no magic in a far and forgotten past! They are all made up stories, fairytales to fill our minds with false hopes of salvation and other supernatural stuff. That's why they are called legends and myths! Why can't anybody see that?
"Do you know how it was in the old days?" Sayu curiously asks for my frustration. I'm surprised to see Near lying on her lap, hugged to his stuffed animal. His eyes are large and hypnotizing, as he stares at the old man.
"Those were the great times." The elder man speaks in a nostalgic voice, like if shares the memory of generations before him. "There were cities where night would never fall. There was no need for hunting or fishing, for people had endless supplies of food. And their homes… Oh, their homes were warmed up without wood, water was boiled without fire. It is said that this was a time when man travelled as fast as a shooting star, flied as high as an eagle and swam deep under water as a fish."
"So why don't we have any of those now? Why is everything gone?" Misa asks almost revolted. I'm amazed at her questioning and suppress a joyful cheer. Finally, the woman shows some intelligence and seems to share my skepticism! This is too great to be true!
"The clash of the gods!" The old man dramatically says. "The gods! They came to our world to save us, you know? Because we were killing Mother Nature and we didn't even realize it!" He sighs heavily and is silent for moment, his eyes resting in the fire before him, like if old memories were revealed to him through the flames. "Many did not trust the gods. And so the wars started and followed one after the other. One more terrifying than the previous one. Wars so horrifying and destructive, no nightmare can ever match them."
He suddenly stands up, his old legs trembling, his wrinkled hands reaching for the sky. "We betrayed them! We killed our land! We are guilty for our crimes and now we must pay with tears and blood!" He pauses and we are all silenced. He stares some moments at the starry sky, panting a bit at his own excitement. He seems to regain his calm, for he seats quietly. His eyes are resting on Ryuzaki's again. "It is said long ago, before the wars, Scarlet Plane was a beautiful place. It was a fertile paradise on Earth, with great fields of trees and flowers, fresh lakes and small rivers. Now it's nothing more than a dead land. A cursed land…. Do you know why?"
He asks, his eyes never leaving the raven-haired ones. Misa shake her head. It's clear she's hanging in each syllable the man speaks. Damn, I knew it was too good to be true! But I must admit, he sure knows how to tell a good story. "It was the place we killed one of the gods." He speaks in an eerie whisper so the blonde gasps in shock. Near is staring at the old man with large eyes and then they shift to Ryuzaki. I look over at the raven-haired man. He looks very serious. I can sense a hint of tension, some sort of repressed anger. I wonder why.
"How?" Misa asks. "How do you kill a god?" The old man breaks his eye contact with Ryuzaki to turn his head and look at the blonde instead. He holds the suspension for some seconds before revealing the answer.
"With love." He whispers and this time it's like he's revealing the world's greatest secret. "The Great White Mother gave up her life to protect her children. She killed all their enemies in a slip of a moment, something that was forbidden among the gods. She sacrificed her own immortality. And died. The ultimate sacrifice of a mother."
Everybody is silenced.
…
We walk quietly back to our tents. Ryuzaki and I were the last ones to leave the campfire. We walk side by side. The streets are empty and I kind of enjoy the peaceful quietness between us.
"Why do you dislike her?" Ryuzaki suddenly asks out of the blue.
"What do you mean?"
"Why do you have an aversion to Misa?" He clarifies and I scoff annoyed. From all the subjects in the world, he had to pick this one. I'm in the least in the mood for this conversation. Yet, I feel like I'm impelled to explain him. "To tell you the truth, I never really liked her. We are only together because of a stupid old tradition."
"Surely you speak of the Fertility Festival." Ryuzaki says and I confirm with a nod. "You should have respect for the old ways." The man tells in a calm tone and then he stops. "She is carrying your baby in her womb. And she truly loves you."
"Look, I already told you, I never liked her!" I tell and can sense the irritation take over me. Since the day Misa discovered she was pregnant of me, everybody behaved jubilant and I played my role in accepting this destiny, one I never chose for. We all grew up with old traditions and always followed them unquestionably, so getting married was the most natural step to take. But nobody ever asked me if I wanted this. So I've been boiling this up for months already, repressing my frustration, always behaving as the compliant son, the attentive husband and the good civilian. But that is not who I am. I feel I'm forced to live a life chosen by others and not me! I've been able to hide my revolt and frustration. Until now.
Ryuzaki is the first person to ever notice my dissatisfaction. "Misa moved to my village a few years ago. She became quickly popular and loved by everyone, but I never liked her personality. She's irritating with her hysterical and loud manners and is dumb! I mean, really dumb." I look at the raven-haired man. He simply nobs and doesn't seem to be judgmental. By now, anybody would have told me that I was the stupid one, because Misa was so amazing.
But Ryuzaki is not from my village and is not quite like everybody else. So I feel encouraged to continue. "Last year, her parents were brutally murdered. It became the great mystery in our community, but I managed to solve it and find out who was the murder. He confessed before the Trial of the Wise and was sentenced to death, according to the law. Since then, Misa's acted always pushy. She started telling me we were made for each other and before I knew it, she was obsessing about me! She followed me everywhere! Do you know how it feels to be constantly followed?"
"I could have an idea." Ryuzaki neutrally says. "Light-kun, do you believe in destiny?"
"Ah, Ryuzaki. Don't give me this crap. You don't actually mean it, do you?"
"There are things in life that are meant to happen. Whether you like it or not. They are part of a greater goal. Because every human being has a mission in this life, certain things need to happen in order to complete his or her purpose in this lifetime."
"So Ryuzaki, what's my mission?" I ask in a challenging tone. "Because right now, it looks like destiny chose me to marry a woman I dislike and has appointed me to build up a family life together with her!"
"So it seems." Ryuzaki agrees with a nod, in such an impassive manner that it worsens my frustration. "In time. When you are ready, you'll know what your real destiny is."
"I think you are full of bullshit!"
"It's time you start appreciating and valorizing what you have." The raven-haired man turns to me and I can see this time he is not quite happy with what I said. Finally, an emotion! "Not every man finds a beautiful wife who adores her husband and is prepared to do anything he wishes, just to see him happy."
"Why don't you mind of your own business! Why don't you get yourself a wife and mother for Near so you can leave everybody else in peace!"
I regret the moment I speak these words. Ryuzaki stops walking and I cannot make out his expression in the dark. His head is slightly down and the shadows hide his face. I feel so stupid and I cannot understand why I was so horrible. "I'm sorry Ryuzaki, I didn't mean to say that." He doesn't answer me and his silence only makes me feel even guiltier. "Ryuzaki?" Without a word he turns around and walks away. "Ryuzaki!" I yell in vain. He disappears in the blackness of the night. "I really didn't mean that. I didn't mean to hurt you." I whisper defeated. There is nothing to do. I only hope that he can forgive me in the morning.
…
I see mountains rise high in the skies. Clouds touch the highest peaks. I watch as people go on with their daily lives, walking in strait streets between small houses made of clay and rock. I hear the sound of an eagle. The clouds move fast and become dark in the skies. I have a bad feeling. Suddenly, out of nowhere tall men dressed in black appear and display swords. They burn the houses. They kill anybody that crosses their path. I'm running. I'm scared. I feel lost in the streets that move so quickly under my feet. Suddenly I'm lifted up. I hear a woman's voice. "Stay here and don't make a sound". I'm watch a closet door shut itself before my eyes. I can smell the blood and fire. The smell of death. A scream of a child.
"AHH!" I wake up screaming. Misa is staring down at me surprised. I remain lying with my back on the bed and pant while I relieve the last flashes of the dream. I caress my temple with my shaky fingers. It's damp. I don't understand why I keep having this dream over and over again.
"Is Light-kun alright? Did he have a bad dream again?" Misa asks and I can see she is worried.
I only have energy to nod. She smiles and caresses my hair. It actually feels comforting. "Misa-Misa is getting up, okay Light-kun?" She says after a while. This time, I actually wish her to stay, but I let her go. I decide to get up. This dream that keeps repeating itself is starting to scare me. I need to talk about it with somebody. Maybe Ryuzaki can help me. This is, if he isn't angry at me anymore. I get myself ready and go in search of the raven-haired man. Despite the early hours of the morning, most villagers are already occupied with all sorts of daily activities. A woman indicates me the place where my family is having breakfast. I do find them, but Ryuzaki is not with them.
"Good news, Light." My father says after greeting me. "We are leaving after lunch and we have a guide that will take us to Okaido."
"Great." I say while I break a piece of fresh bread. I love the way it still feels warm and soft. "Did any of you see Ryuzaki?"
"Yes. He left a while ago with the old man. They went that way." Sayu pointed a street. I eat faster than usual and excuse myself. I realize I really need to talk with the raven-haired man. Fortunately, I find him quite quickly.
Ryuzaki, Near and the crazy old man are sitting on the ground, forming a triangle. They have a bunch of several plants neatly placed on a rug. Next to the plants are small vessels with seeds and liquids. One small pan is boiling on a camp fire. I remain hidden and observe them for a while. Going by their conversation, they are exploring the different medicinal properties of the different herbs. Some are used fresh; others must be dried under the sun, while others can be used directly on wounds, and so on. I gasp softly after I watched them enough to realize it's not the old man who's passing knowledge, but the other way around.
Ryuzaki and Near turn their heads in my direction. The raven-haired man shrinks his eyes suspiciously. He's probably still pissed off with me because of yesterday. I cannot blame him. I would too. He whispers something to the old man, who swiftly lifts up after he picks up some of the herbs. Before he leaves, he thanks Ryuzaki ceremoniously, his hands clasped like in prayer and bowing several times. Ryuzaki waits until the old man is out of sight before he greets me.
"Good morning Light-kun." He says in his monotone voice. He's crouched opposite the small pan and steers the contents in it. I can see some vapor coming out of it and I think he's preparing some kind of tea.
"Good morning to you too." I reply and come closer until I'm standing next to him. "May I sit and join you?
"Sure." Ryuzaki quietly says. He never leaves his eyes from the liquid with herbs in it and seems to be hypnotized by the small bubbles that start forming against the sides of the pan. "You've been having bad dreams." He calmly states. My heart bangs from fright. How the hell did he know that? "Misa told me during breakfast." He adds and I fail to hide an annoyed sigh.
Misa knows that for days already, but I doubt she told him anything. After all, she didn't tell anybody from my family and she adores them as much as she trusts them. I doubt she trusts Ryuzaki. Actually, I have the feeling she and Ryuzaki dislike mutually. No. I'm still pretty sure he's reading my mind. If Near can invade people's dreams like he did with us in the desert, then I'm sureRyuzaki can do much more. Reading people's minds should be a child's play for him. I feel uncomfortable at my own conclusion. A chill runs down my spine when he finally lifts his head so he's facing me.
If he's still upset with me because of yesterday, I cannot tell, because his face is totally impassive. He turns his gaze again to the small pan. The water is starting to boil. "She's very worried with you, you know?" I don't really know what to say, so I nod. He takes the liquid from the small pan and pours it in a mug. "Drink this while it's warm." I stare a bit confused at the tea but accept it. I take a sip of it and make a face. It's really bitter! "I know it tastes awful, but it will help to get rid of that headache." He explains while he points his index to me. I drink a little bit more and hide the chills, this time caused by the bitter taste. Wait! I don't remember mentioning my headache to anybody!
"How do you…" I start, feeling quite shocked, but he rudely ignores the question I'm certain he knows that's coming and interrupts me.
"So tell me, what have you been dreaming?" He calmly asks and I somehow have the uncomfortable feeling he already knows what the dream is about. I shift my eyes to look at Near. The boy is crouched, imitating his father and looks as bored as ever with his head tilted to the side, one finger curling a white lock. I gaze back at Ryuzaki and decide to describe my dream nevertheless.
"Ehm…Lately I've been having this recurring dream. I had it the first time in Scarlet Plain and I've been dreaming it every night since then. The thing is, every time I dream it, something new happens. It's becoming more detailed. Like if new information is being added every time I dream."
Ryuzaki's gaze seem to be lost in thoughts, while Near looks at me with a newfound interest, head still tilted and white lock still curled around his finger. "In the first part of the dream, I'm a mere spectator. I watch the horrors develop themselves in a small village in the mountains. First people are going on peacefully with their lives and then suddenly, these men dressed in black appear out of nowhere and start killing everybody!"
I have my eyes locked on Ryuzaki's and cannot read any kind of emotion on his face, but his shoulders are clearly tense. I continue with my description. "That's when the dream shifts. I'm not a spectator anymore, but one of the people being attacked. I'm running away from the invaders. It always ends in the same way. I hear voices, the dominant one is a woman's voice. I know she's the one who shuts me in a closet. The last thing I remember before I wake up is the horrifying sound of a child's scream."
I conclude and silence myself. There. I finally told my dream and my heart is racing madly. I watch Ryuzaki and realize I am both expectant and nervous to know his opinion. By now, Near is completely alert and he stares from me to his father. He seems to be as expectant as I am. Ryuzaki is silent. He stares thoughtfully at his feet for a long time, his toes rubbing against each other. After a while he lifts his head.
"Your dream is an important message for you." He says, his voice almost a whisper. "I cannot help you unveiling its meaning." He regretfully states and I cannot help but feel very disappointed. "But, this I can assure you. Soon, you will discover its meaning."
"Do you think it's a glimpse of the future?" I ask with fear.
"No. Don't worry. It definitely has nothing to do with the future." Ryuzaki states with such a confidence that I'm quite sure he lied to me. He knows exactly what this dream is about. It's just, he wants me to figure it out by my own. "How's your headache?" He asks me. Only then I realize the pain is fading.
"It's almost gone!" I hear myself sounding surprised. Ryuzaki smiles the first time this morning and I suddenly remember the other reason I wanted to speak with him. "Ryuzaki, about last night - I didn't really mean what I said."
"I know." He says with a kind smile and I sigh relieved.
"So, are you all packed up to go?" I ask and the raven-haired man looks at me surprised.
"What do you mean?"
"My father didn't tell you? We are leaving this afternoon." I clarify equally surprised.
"Is it so?" Ryuzaki speaks in his typical monotone voice and blank stare. "Light-kun, you do recall our agreement was Near and I would travel with you until the first village we would encounter?" My heart skips a beat at the reminding. The image of the very first time I saw him fills my mind. A serene but mournful raven-haired man kneeled before a stone grave, in a posture of deep reverence. Gods, I thought he was some kind of evil men-eater spirit! How ridiculous! I remember, the day we sealed this agreement, I wasn't too happy with Near and Ryuzaki's addition to our group. Now, I do not wish to depart from them. We kind of bonded during our journey in the desert and I can sense a friendship has developed between us. I still know way too little about him and now I am afraid we will not meet each other again! "Don't worry, Light-kun. If fate wishes it, our paths will cross again." The raven-haired man says with a soft smile. I can sense a slight hint of hope mixed with sadness in his tone. I hope he too sees me as friend. He pats my shoulder gently before lifting up. I too stand up and I know I'm smiling a bitter sweet smile. This was the first time Ryuzaki behaved like a real friend.
"I will miss you." I confess. "And you too Near." I look down and have a dejá-vu.
Near is peeking almost shyly from behind Ryuzaki, his little hand grasping his father's garment, just like the first time we met. The child looks sad. And I realize, it's time to say goodbye. I confess I feel a bit awkward because I don't really know how to pay goodbye to these two. I always hated saying goodbye and am awful at it. So, to prevent my own humiliation I stretch my hand to shake Ryuzaki's. He stares at it, just like the day in the cave, when I agreed he could travel with us. Isn't it ironic? Now we are going to shake hands to depart our ways. He seems to think the same, for he grins amused before shaking my hand.
"Until we meet again Light-kun."
