A/N: Yes, I could likely use a Beta...the truth is all my fan fiction is stuff I do in my free time, and in the case of this story, on the fly in my writing group. Honestly, I don't put all that much worry into my fan fictions...I just do it for fun, and whatever will be, will be...as they say. At any rate, here's the next chapter.

I don't own Mai HiME/ Mai Otome


Chapter 8

The person in front of her was a mystery.

She was beautiful, and one could tell by the way her eyes seemed to glisten, she was not a young woman. Stunning though, as if, she hadn't aged at all. Youthful in appearances perhaps, but never in the mind. Shizuru felt uncertainty creep up her spine. She hadn't heard the intrusion. She hadn't ever thought that others might waltz right in, completely announced. Now though, Shizuru knew she had been sorely mistaken.

A woman she'd never met before seemed to be inspecting her with interest. Shizuru felt out of her element, unable to even think correctly, as their eyes met.

"A human...yes, now that is what you are. A misplaced human, funny that you weren't expunged." Anh could merely sigh. "It's odd though, that I find myself looking into a face that seems so familiar...even if I know you aren't the woman I remember."

"Excuse me?" It was all that Shizuru could force from her lips.

"Now, do try to stay calm." Anh began, a frown dancing upon her luscious lips. "I'm not controlling you merely to strike fear into your heart." She sighed then, a bit more enthusiastically than she should have. "Oh, but I guess you don't understand my intentions yet, now do you?" Anh knew very well of that particular situation, and merely smiled jovially. "No, not for several more months yet, I fear. Only then will you truly begin to interpret what that nose of yours tells you." With a flick of her wrist, more for show and added effort, she commanded the area around her, withdrawing her powerful aura. "I've no need to worry, you aren't a threat my dear."

That puts the matter mildly. Shizuru thought to herself. "Are you a friend of Natsuki's?" Somehow, it didn't seem right.

"I won't call her a personal friend of mine, no." Anh shook her head. "Surely you can imagine that Natsuki wouldn't naturally keep company like myself. In return, you could say that I would not keep company such as her, either." Clearly, she is a werewolf, Natsuki is correct. Anh had merely come to assess the situation, finding herself pleased. "Though, the same could be said for the likes of you."

"Do you know Natsuki well enough to make that assumption?" It was a stern defensive.

One that amused Anh to no end. "Natsuki isn't fond of humans..."

"I'm aware." Shizuru hid her thoughts by sipping on her wine. Who is this woman? "Natsuki's made that perfectly clear, on several occasions."

"Not so human anymore, though, are you." It wasn't a question, Anh hadn't any need for that. As she meandered around Natsuki's cozy little home with ease, she enjoyed watching the woman in front of her. So young, but not at all naive...at least not about worldly topics...good. Pulling another wine glass from the cupboard, helping herself, she could help but go digging. "Enjoying?" She sipped from the glass and took a seat, crossing one leg over the other, not minding that she was flashing quite a bit of her upper thigh. "It comes from my vineyard."

Anh didn't expect a reply, but, Shizuru was a Fujino, and they were uncanny people...they were known for their surprises, ones often pleasantly challenging in their own way.

"Indeed." Shizuru took the bait. Two can play at this game...I just don't know if it's a wise idea to try. She went for it anyway. "It is quite tasty." She didn't care for the deep red color, one even darker than her eyes. "A good aroma too." It was dry, and in truth, she hated it. "Everything I would expect from proper wine." For any human, she made a perfect fib, but Anh was no human.

"You lie." Anh told her quietly. "Don't play games of etiquette." She chided, a lilt to her voice, filled with laughter all of it's own. "You'll lose." It was a warning that Anh gave gently as she took another sip of the liquid. "Even your father wouldn't dare to cross me. At least, not if he had his wits about him...which I doubt he would retain, if we're being honest about his morals."

"You know of him." The shock was plain. "But you aren't a human, are you?" Shizuru knew this woman could never be human, there was something in her eyes, something faintly dancing with all sorts of mirth. "No, your not." Shizuru answered her own question, and for some reason, one she couldn't put a finger on, it bothered her. "Are you a werewolf, or something else entirely?" The woman glows as if she could be a goddess. She lights up the room. There's no doubt she's inhuman...but far from a beast.

"I look human, smell human, and even think like a human, when it suits me." Anh remembered this girl, have taken several glances of this person before. There was no longer the joy Anh could recall, but still Shizuru was still the child of the Fujino namesake...she could see it clearly, in the young woman's lineage within every breath. "Although, I suppose that's one of the benefits to being as old as I am." When Shizuru had been a child, Anh had done some personal investigation. "You have your mother's beauty...but even so, you're still daddy's little girl, aren't you?" Anh laughed a little at that, it was ironic, really. "I'll be brief. I only came to give you a little help."

Shizuru frowned down at the meal. Natsuki was nowhere to be found. She probably went missing with Nao. The soup no longer steamed, and the salad was likely not so crisp. "Why do you feel the need to tell me anything? It isn't as if I'm looking for advice." Shizuru told the woman in front of her.

"You'll only deduce lies on your own." Anh said simply. "For example, even now, though I don't know the intimate details, I can tell you're feeling doubtful." Cool and composed, she let her face mask the true pang that seemed to stab into her. She doesn't understand..Natsuki could be blamed, but I fear that's not all. Anh thought to herself. "Being lonely, having doubts, feeling regret, anger...those are all weaknesses. Negativity clouds the mind. It's feeds on the soul, and does nothing to quell the heart."

"Hearts are not easily quelled in the first place." Shizuru said sternly, trying to throw up a wall between them, her eyes trying to look at anything other than the woman tormenting her. "Receiving any sort of happiness at all, is a gift."

"Or perhaps simply a lapse in good judgement." At least, if one would follow the teachings. Anh knew however, it was not so simple. It was easy to preach, and a joyful thing to read, but it was impossible to live by. "Even happy emotions cloud our judgment, and so, we're encouraged to lock them away. To not have any at all." Wishful thinking.

"I don't even know who you are." Shizuru shook her head. "And yet, even so, I'm receiving a lecture from you?"

"You've no need to know." It was so simple, tragic and maddening. "However, I will tell you, that I've watched over the Fujino family for years. Personally, your bloodline stains my hands but, that should be expected, No?" With a rise of her eyebrow, she finished her glass, and then, she studied Shizuru once more. "Either way, a woman like you wouldn't understand. You're beautiful, but, you are not nearly a seductress. You don't have it in you, to string others along." Anh took comfort in that, and then she stood.

She wasted no time, closing a gap that could have gone on for eons.

"Like I said, I only came to get a look at you, and give you a little tidbit to nibble on." She'd almost forgotten the way crimson eyes could burn into her like a fire, feeling a warmth pool in her gut. She hadn't felt such attraction in years. Anh neared the young woman, and let her soft lips gently touch upon Shizuru's earlobe, kissing it. "You're just as beautiful as your grandmother once was...I see her in your eyes, you truly are are her granddaughter...a vixen, though you don't know it." She smiled as she looked into those shinning orbs. "I would doubt very much, that if I kissed you, that you'd taste the same as my lover...even if you do share her family legacy."

It hurt, to see the child to no longer be so. The addled mind of a young woman, was not something to take lightly. It was not one to laugh it, not one to snicker upon in the shadows. Human women were frightened little creatures, and Anh could tell that Shizuru lacked particular confidences...ones that in a few years time, would exude from her form, a commanding aura. She was a perfect woman, sexually appealing, soft and voluptuous...yet, Anh knew the bloodline, the attitude would not be one to be questioned, if Shizuru was given the chance to truly find her place.

I also doubt, Natsuki has any idea of what she's getting into. The thought amused Anh. I hadn't a clue, back in the old days, either.

"Werewolves don't say it." It pained Anh to realize so many years had gone by, and along with it, her very reason for breath. "Mostly because we don't know how." She could not smile the way she used to. "Emotions are a human trait, or so the books tell us." Lust was no longer filled with any sort of worth. "We are creatures who seek that our needs be met. To have food and shelter comes first." Love would likely never come to greet her again. "We seek strong mates, Shizuru, so sometimes we forget what it really means to accept our emotions." Summer would scorch her, and winter would offer nothing more than the bitter cold. "In Natsuki's case, the word love, it really is meaningless."

She pulled away before the scent of intoxication could drive her to her brink. Instead, she gently placed a hand on Shizuru's shoulder. "You are not the first Fujino to fall in love with a werewolf...I regret taking her life, and along with it, the only lover I'd ever truly cared about." Still, she could not regret Shizuru. "I am glad, however, that a Fujino now stands as my kin. If you need me, just look for me, and I shall come to your aid. I promise that on my lover's grave." She put down a card, sprayed lightly in perfume.

"How can I make her understand?" Shizuru asked quietly.

"I wish I could say." Anh murmured then. "The truth is, I haven't a clue." If there was anyone who could reach Natsuki, it would be this young woman. You thought the same about Mai too. Anh reminded herself, before cursing softly in a growl. "I doubt that there is any possible way to say it. In truth, you'll have to let your actions speak for you. Try to read hers...see what you can understand without her saying anything."

….

The night would not offer solace...and even in the morning, there would be no rest for some.

Nao was one of those souls. There was something about her breath, as it fogged up the glass. There was this inexplicable way about the sun in the sky, as she leaned heavily on the windowsill. There was even a soreness that lingered over her body, and though she knew why, the fact that Natsuki hadn't been there when she woke up...it bothered her. Nao wasn't possessive, she would come and go, and so would Natsuki.

It was all they knew...all they could really deal with. Who wants to be tied down anyway? I like my freedom. She and Natsuki both cherished it, but last night was different. Admitting it would mean shouting defeat. Burying it, would mean dealing with words better left unsaid. In the afternoon, with the sun bright in they sky, what they did...well, that wasn't because of the urge of the ancestors...that was something else entirely.

"Ass." Nao breathed quietly, wishing that from her bedroom window, she might be able to see Natsuki off sulking someplace. It was just hopeful thinking, but the fact she thought of it at all, left a sour taste in her mouth. You'd think she could at least leave a note. Natsuki wouldn't do that, Nao knew deep down, notes were for apologies and faked excuses. Natsuki didn't make them, not over something like this. If it had been a full moon, I wouldn't even care. It would have been normal, waking up alone. So why do I care now?

It was a struggle, but Natsuki's own battle was just as confining.

Chains that wrapped tightly around her inwardly, forced her to consider all that she wanted to avoid. As her feet walked steps only by heart, her mind traveled in circles. Around and around, without any sign of finding her way, she slowly meandered home. She knew the street signs, the cracks in the pavement, and even where there might be broken glass outside of a pub, closed due to the time...she knew all of it and more, but she didn't need to think about that. The things on her route never changed...it always stayed the same.

Her relationships, on the other hand, were different. They evolved, and she could not for the life of her, push a pause button...even if time was a slow ebb for her, she envied humans. The taunting hour the church bells sang of, kissed away another fleeting moment. In the distance, she knew that humans were gathering for their own reasons, personal beliefs Natsuki would never understand. So instead, she just sighed, darkly. So, first I disheveled her her in my back yard...then we stay up all night doing... She didn't want to recall all she'd done, a tangled embrace between both of them was not Natsuki's reflection of a good time. This is just stupid.

Why would I even do that? She wasn't guilty, but, it didn't ease her. I don't get it. She thought, trying to find some measure of solace in her actions, finding none. Nao and I, we don't really belong together. It was something Natsuki had to believe. If we did, I would have claimed her...but... Her soul was stirring, a restlessness she could not begin to pick apart. The puzzle was whole, and there was nothing missing. Why yesterday? She knew every moment, every kiss...the things she'd done weren't exactly conversation starters, but she couldn't deny, she could still taste Nao's essence on her lips. What was the point?

"You responded to her needs." The voice guided Natsuki.

Shut up. She snarled harshly. I know that much. I know I did something Nao needed me to do...I just don't know why in the hell I let myself get that close.

"If you know it was for her benefit, then why are you upset?" The voice asked, the concept of acknowledging baser reactions, a befuddlement in this case. "Werewolves are social, and you both found a reason to do what you did...it was fitting for the time and the place."

I hate you... Natsuki told the voice with all the venom she could muster. It didn't respond back, and seemed to leave her alone. There wasn't anything to fall back on...nothing that seemed logical...then again, Natsuki remembered well, that logic was only half of the coin. Emotions, they were far different, and even if she had shunned her own, there were some werewolves who refused to do such a thing, and lived with such feelings upon their sleeves...


(flashback)

"You do not have to do this." The sigh was not only an admonishment, as she looked at her child. Fondness and exasperation were a mixture so encompassing, that all Saeko could do, was shake her head with a frown. "In fact, I wish you wouldn't. This this not a matter to take lightly."

"Father would have wanted it." Natsuki said then, donned in white robes. "I've got to take his place at the vigils, there is no one else."

"You plan to become a sire?" Her mother, a very calm woman, found herself at the edge of her wits. "Natsuki, think hard about this. There are obligations one must fulfill, once they take a place among the firelight leaders. If you do this, you will be unable to become a dam, you'd be frowned upon. Sire's are strong warriors, and heads of the household. You'd be expected to take on that role."

"There is no other Kuga that can take his place." Natsuki sighed looking up at her mother, who sat at the kitchen table, worry marring her features. "I know I'm young, but I can and will fulfill my role." She clenched her hands at her sides. "I don't know if I want to become a sire...I don't really think I want kids." In fact, that was the one thing Natsuki had a problem with. "I can grow into what the elders want. We both know dad would have wanted it this way, and to honor his wishes, I don't really have a choice."

"Purely because you haven't a brother, who could take that role?" Saeko's eyes tried to see past the conflict her daughter had warring in her heart. "You have so little faith in your father, that you will take his place, and dishonor his return?"

"He's dead." Natsuki said it without the expected outcry one might hope for when mourning a parent. "He isn't going to return this time." It unsettled everyone that Natsuki could take after her father in such a light. Delivering painful news as fact, instead of in tearful admittances, that would be more fitting of her age.

Saeko sighed heavily. "Natsuki, who's to say for sure?"

"You were given a summons." Natsuki knew what that meant. "Dad has been killed in battle with the Fujino's, and you're to take his place." Natsuki growled. "Don't think I don't know. Just because I'm a kid, doesn't mean that I don't understand."

"Rage doesn't become you." Saeko told Natsuki gently. "It isn't fitting, all you will do, is pain yourself."

"Easy for you to say!" Natsuki snarled. "You know...if you go, you won't be coming back either."

"Yes." Everyone knew. "I am not the warrior your father was." Saeko would never be the protector that her husband had been.

"So why do it!" Natsuki roared. "What's the point?!"

"Enough." The order came from Anh. "I will not tolerate this fighting." She was cloaked in her robe. "Natsuki, you must choose your own path, and your mother, she has hers." This was not a time for bickering, nor a day to invite more strife than otherwise necessary. She turned to face Saeko, only then, a soft monotone seeped into her voice. "I would advise that you exile yourself, and run far away. You would lose your honor, but you would keep your life."

"I could not guarantee Natsuki's safety." Saeko sighed. "My own would be hard enough to ensure." She looked at her daughter, who was still so young, even if she didn't look it. "They'll come after her, and I can't protect her alone."

"I'm not a weakling." Natsuki shook her head. "I can fight back!"

"With what, Natsuki?" Saeko asked her. "Even transformed, your claws can't slice through steel. You can't crunch bone...you have nothing to defend yourself with. Even your fangs are little more than an annoyance right now."

"One bullet." Anh told Natsuki, agreeing with Saeko. "That's all you would take."

"I don't care!" Her age was fleeting, but her will was like that of iron. "If it has to, the bloodline will end with me."

"The fight is mine to have. I want their blood on my hands, in ways you could never understand." Anh told them both. "I will go with Saeko." She was beyond furious, and had been since she'd heard the news. "You will stay here, and prepare yourself for your own fate. That it all, Natsuki."

Now that Natsuki was older, she understood better what her mother had been trying to say. A werewolf could not live alone. Even in hiding, it was dangerous to be without reliable friends, and strong family. One day, Natsuki too, would be strong enough to help defend, and if she lived long enough, would even attain an elder status among those who sat in on the meetings. Far in the future, if she lived that long, she would be seen as a pillar of strength. A person to confide in, and a warrior meant for defending those, who could not defend themselves.

It was a lot to live up to...a choice she made...a promise, one of many.

The assurance of her bloodline was once such oath, that she had been quite positive she would not live up to. She hadn't had any real desire to further gift of fate. Horrible truths, and concealed lies, were not thing she wished to pass on. The Kuga bloodline should end. She was getting older now, and her fury, unlike her father's, was beginning to wane out. Shizuru's should too. She believed it, but then, something her voice told her, made a creepy kind of sense. If a bloodline unified, and became family, there would be no need to fight. Siblings would have no reason to kill their own parents...it was fitting...it was, as the voice had told her...useful.

It had meaning, a reason to happen, to exist...and suddenly, furthering the bloodline didn't seem like such a bad idea.

That doesn't make it right, though. That was her hangup, and why she felt herself freeze up at the mere idea. I have no real feelings, and she couldn't possibly understand the interests that I do have. It would be difficult. How could I ever expect to get her to understand the very notion...she's ruled by her feelings. It was a quandary she didn't have an answer for, and even if she did, she felt uneasy to act on such a thing.

Which was why, Natsuki found it odd, that once she returned home, she'd noticed the faintest scent of blood in the air, and Anh. One look told her, their visitor was long gone though, and yet, she smelled no death.

She followed the smell of blood, all the way into the bathroom, where Shizuru was washing a cut on her hand. The water turned pink as it slid down into the drain. "Clumsy." Natsuki's words an explanation. She could smell the wine, the twinkling shards of glass, that sat in the trash were a giveaway. "Give me your hand."

"It's alright." Shizuru murmured, watching the river continue to trickle off of her palm, the soap she used to rinse the wound, pouring down the drain. "I can tend to this myself."

"Shut up." Natsuki sighed, grabbing Shizuru's wrist, inspecting it for a moment. "Is all the glass out?"

"I believe so, yes." Shizuru told her, wondering what was going on behind those emerald eyes.

"Stay still." Natsuki said then, no inflection in her voice at all, as she considered the pool that was starting to form. She took a cloth after a few moments and dried away the blood still holding the hand in hers. "Werewolves heal fast when it's a flesh wound. You've no need to tend it. You'll find that your body will do that all by itself. As long as your able bodied, you don't need to clean it." The cut was gradually getting smaller. "Sit still, pat away the blood after it pools, that's all you need to do."

"Natsuki..." The name just slipped out, before she even knew it.

"What?" And Natsuki's voice was gentle in the darkest of ways.

"It bothers you." The ill stare in Natsuki's eyes gave it away. "Blood...but why?"

"I dunno." Natsuki muttered then. "Don't worry about it."

"I will worry." There was a fragility in everything Natsuki seemed to do, but it was not one that was obvious. You've no idea how much I already do. Still, it was a way of caution, to keep her eyes plastered anywhere but Natsuki's form. "People worry Natsuki, it's natural to do, no matter who you are."

"That can be argued." Natsuki's told Shizuru. "Worrying isn't helpful, not for anyone." The smell of blood always made her feel queasy, especially if she watched it pour from someone she knew.

Shizuru was unsure what to say to that. Natsuki's prone stance was no something that should be seen, but instead, felt. Senses...Shizuru thought to herself. They gather information...vital data to use when considering the world around you. She had to test it, to learn to rely less on watching. I can't look, because looking relies on her to show me something..listening, feeling, taking notice of the tiniest details...that is what human senses do...but what about werewolves? Shizuru never thought about it before. Now that she wouldn't allow herself to look at Natsuki, she understood.

"Bloodlines...stupid red liquid means so much to people, ya know?" Natsuki's words were only part of the truth to be found. "But I think it's worthless...I mean, it has value for the person...it keeps us alive." Only a small part of what she truly wanted to say. "But outside of that simple meaning, the rest doesn't really matter. We put value in it, because we want it to mean something to us, but...that's all just sentimental bull crap, outside of its only real purpose...to keep every living being alive." Natsuki grumbled to herself. "It has no reason to be revered."

Shizuru could understand things so much better, when she wasn't looking at Natsuki. Suddenly, her words made sense. It wasn't as if Natsuki was an open book, but, the abstract view was much easier to glean insight from. Seeing the unseen...it was simple in complexity. "I think your wrong...I think it does mean something." Seeing her, beyond her form...she's not human, even if she looks like one...so watching her, as a human..she's standoffish...but, as a werewolf? "I think...I think it's necessary...in our case. It promotes order and boundaries. Bloodlines are special, because of life...and the loss of it...if someone is laying in a pool of it, it's horrific...but when a baby is born, it's magical...loss and creation isn't an ideal, it's a truth."

"Maybe." Natsuki told her then, before stepping out of the room. "Keep still until you've completely healed."

"Alright..." As the creature she really is...the being I'm turning into..is that really the case? It offered no truth. Seeing the unseen, and knowing the unknown, is the path all werewolves strive to learn. It wasn't a comfort, even if she was learning the rules slowly. Why do they want to learn it so badly? Shizuru couldn't fathom the answer.

Truth and lies, barely there answers, and confessions of sins Natsuki would never say.

That's what her life had become after her parents died. Anh was right, in ways that were unnerving. Her father's burdens were not her own. After all, if he had thought for a moment that a human was among his people, he would have dealt with the situation with a cold eye. His weights were never going to be hers, and her sins were not ones that could easily be forgotten. Remnants seemed to linger everywhere...objects that belonged to Mai, teachings from her father, the nurturing of her mother...these were things that goaded her.

She could endure the voice that prattled on endlessly, and even face down the expectations that befell her.

Yet, she could not forgive the lessons that teased her. She lived each passing moment in search for some reason to keep on living her expected life. She realized long ago, she was just going through the motions. There was a numbness she never really tried to push away. Her past was her shadow, and her shadow followed her every place she went. In most cases, Natsuki was unaffected by it, but with Shizuru around, a lot of old cuts had begun to mend. Their earlier conversation was one of the newest scars. It wasn't the first time Natsuki had been told something like that.

It was however, the first time that it wasn't by an elder that had an agenda...it had been by Shizuru.

"You should announce it." The inward voice ordered. "Make it known, state your intentions, claim that which is yours to take."

She understood the delicacy of what the voice was trying to tell her now. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Tough shit, it ain't happening.