This chapter explains a lot, with the exception of Rachel and Quinn's argument and some other things. I really like the way this came out. Enjoy! :)
Beth's POV: (Journal)
12/23
So Uncle Finn's been in his room all day. I wonder what happened yesterday. I heard yelling and stuff but I had music on so the words weren't easy to make out. Not that I was eavesdropping or anything.
I made my own dinner. I'm hoping this doesn't become a trend though, because Christmas Eve is tomorrow night and I'm pretty sure mom's going to stay in her room again. Life sucks sometimes.
Signed, Bored and Alone.
Finn's POV:
Do you ever have those moments when you act on impulse? I'm sure you do. I mean, everyone does at some point. Rachel used to always tell me I didn't think before I acted. I always denied it even though I knew she was right. Probably another thing I should have thought about before doing.
Like when I left Rachel at the alter, her face devastated as she dropped her written-out vows to the ground.
"Finn!" she had called as I ran and called the nearest car service. "What's going on?!"
"I can't marry you," I had responded, half of my body already inside my escape car which then drove away.
I just left. No explanation. No nothing.
I figured Rachel would be out of Lima when Quinn called me in to help her raise Beth. I was almost 100% positive she was on her way to becoming a big star on Broadway. That's what she always talked about at leat.
Honestly, I still couldn't handle the fact that Rachel came over the day before. Just as strong-willed and passionate as always, she had completely torn me down. And then more than ever, I regretted my running away. Leaving that wedding was the dumbest decision of my life, and being me, I've made a lot of dumb decisions.
And the worst part about seeing Rachel yesterday was the fact that I hadn't even had a chance to make things right. We just screamed at each other like animals. Some settlement.
Simply put, I acted on impulse. Sure, that's what brought me into this mess in the first place, but maybe I could reverse everything. My heart told me to fix things with Rachel, so that was what I set out to do.
The day before Christmas, I made my way back to McKinley. Whether it was making a mistake or not, I wasn't sure, but I knew I had to make things right. Christmas is time for forgiveness, right? Yeah, Rachel's Jewish, but maybe the same goes for Chanukah.
Pressing the buzzer on the front door, I prayed the school would be open regardless of the holiday break. To my surprise, it was. A janitor opened the door up for me and I thanked him before turning towards the language wing, earning myself curious glares from some of the teachers scattered around the building for being there at such a peculiar time.
I quietly cracked open the door to Rachel's classroom and noticed her standing in the back by her filing cabinet. This is your chance. Make things right.
Taking a deep breath, I entered the dark room, closing the door behind me. Rachel heard the door click and turned around looking almost frightened. Once she saw it was me, she instantly turned back to her filing. "What do you want?"
I cleared my throat, awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck. "You said you wanted to talk yesterday. We didn't really get to talk."
"I got all of the information I needed," she replied, her tone cold and harsh. "So if you'd leave, that'd be ideal. As you can probably see, I'm extremely busy."
"Doing what?" I asked, approaching the back of the room where Rachel stood.
She noticed my presence and avoided eye contact. "Papers, Finn. This is none of your business."
"Oh, but it is. I'm the legal guardian of one of your students."
"And does that give you permission to come in here while I'm working? Shouldn't you be home tending to Bethany?"
"She went to her friends house," I lied in attempt to make myself look like a better parental figure than I was in actuality. "And no, it doesn't give me permission. But don't you want to make things better?"
Rachel shook her head. "I tried that yesterday."
"I'm sorry for giving such a weak apology, Rachel, but if you could just let me explain myself..."
At this, she was intrigued. She placed her papers down before sitting on one of the desks. "Fine. Go ahead."
I nodded, taking a seat on a desk next to hers. "I was stupid to leave, Rachel. I-I knew what was going on wasn't going to work out and I..." I drifted off, my voice then returning when I found the words to say. "I was in too deep with you. I loved you so, so much. My mom and Burt were being real adamant about the fact that we were too young and their words started getting to me and the last thing I wanted was a divorce and... I just knew that everything was going to crumble if I came to New York with you and we would be one of those teen marriages failed. So I left before things could go wrong. I wasn't thinking."
"Clearly.." Rachel remarked, a sarcastic tone supplanting her solemn one from before.
"I realized what I had done after the car drove away but I was too embarrassed to come back after making such a scene, so I had the driver take me to live with my aunt in Westerville. I called my mom from there and we sorted things out. She said I could stay with Aunt Mona until I felt emotionally ready to come home or go to college or whatever. I ended up going to college a month later." I could feel myself getting sidetracked and altered my approach. "But that's not important. What's important is that I hurt you more than I ever intended to, and that I'm so, unbelievably sorry, Rachel."
Rachel nodded slowly. "It's okay, Finn. I forgive you."
Huffing out a sigh of relief, I smiled slightly. "Can we hug it out?"
"Of course," she replied as she slid off of the desk.
I mirrored her movements, then pulling her into a tight embrace. The warm touch of her skin brought memories flooding back. Memories of a near perfect relationship, with little flaws and excessive amounts of affection. I missed her more than anything, and the feeling of my arms around her petite frame was familiar and welcoming. So familiar and welcoming, in fact, that when we pulled away from the hug, I kissed her. Her lips were soft and tasted like strawberries, which I remembered was her favorite fruit, simply because it contained her name and was red, her second favorite color.
She kissed me back, too, but then pulled away, her gaze strong and piercing. "N-no... No, Finn," she said shakily as she escaped my grasp and went back to her filing work.
"You're right, Rachel. That was completely uncalled for."
"Go, please." Her cold and harsh tone from before resurrected, leaving me with nothing to do but oblige.
"I guess I'll see you around..."
"Go," she repeated, a sense of despair evident in her tone.
I nodded, exiting the Italian room.
I think this is my longest chapter. :-)
Oh, and I know Beth's journal entries have basically been irrelevant at this point, but I promise they'll impact the story more as it continues.
As always, PLEASE send a review with your thoughts, comments, suggestions, etc. All would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
