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Ch. 8- " A Grief That Can't Be Spoken"
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A/N- Is it obvious that I've been watching Les Miserables? Be happy I didn't just put the whole of "Do You Hear The People Sing?" in this, because I was tempted to. And warning; this is where the horror element starts coming into play, with pretty graphic depictions of violence.
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The first time Nerr woke up, she had been lying in the huge bed beside Elise, looking at the younger girl's sleeping face. Someone must've picked her up and placed her there, because the last thing she remembered was falling asleep on the floor. Her joints hurt, her head throbbed, and she felt weary right down to her soul, so the princess closed her eyes and snuggled further under the covers, slipping back into her sleep. When she woke again, Elise was not there, but Jakob was, standing over her, a damp rag in his hand. Her hairline felt wet, so she assumed he was bathing her brow, though it was strange, for she didn't feel feverish and, at present, he was simply standing there without moving. Just... staring at her. The moment he noticed that her eyes were open, the steward blushed vividly, all the way to his ears. Curiouser and curiouser...
"Lady Nerr. Are you feeling alright?" Despite the tinge of pink still coloring his cheeks, Jakob sounded as if nothing odd had happened, so Nerr decided to follow his lead.
"I'm fine. Just tired, but what else is new?" Groaning, the princess pushed herself into a seated position with her good arm, taking note of her surroundings for the first time. Every available surface was covered in flowers, vases overflowing with violets and lilies and roses. It looked more like a conservatory than a bedroom, and surely it had not been like this when she'd fallen asleep. "Goodness. Are we trying to bring the outdoors indoors?" Jakob smiled, setting the rag down and picking up a cup and saucer from the table, handing it to her.
"Tokens of appreciation from your many well-wishers, milady."
"What? What well-wishers? What are you talking about?"
"News of the Hoshidan invasion spread quickly. And when the townspeople heard how you charged into the fray to save Lady Elise, well... It goes without saying that your popularity is soaring in Macarath. Throngs of people are gathered outside the palace, hoping to get a glimpse of their beloved princess and savior. They come bearing gifts- though I'm afraid that roustabout Effie has confiscated everything edible..." Nerr leaned back against the pillows, her tea forgotten. The people liked her well enough now, perhaps, but how would they react when they discovered that she was one of those same Hoshidans that had invaded? She half remembered what Azura had said about Nohrians wishing to see her fall...
"I suppose I should enjoy this while it lasts. After all, once everyone learns that I am Hoshidan as well, I sincerely doubt I'll be getting many nosegays then..." Jakob smiled slightly, reaching over to fluff one of her pillows.
"I daresay you'll be receiving the same warm treatment, considering the matter of your birth is no secret at this time." Nerr looked up at him, confused. The butler continued. "When the people had first started gathering last night, mostly to pray for Lady Elise's recovery, one of the town's nobles loudly began declaring that there was still an enemy in our midst, that said enemy was you, milady. He said a filthy Hoshidan had no business sullying the royal palace, and that the people should band together and drive you out. When I heard those words, I had to be restrained to keep from going out there and teaching that dastard a lesson about speaking ill of the the royal family." A cruel grin played over his lips.
"Fortunately, it seemed the townspeople felt exactly the same. They began throwing rocks and dirt at him, proclaiming that, Hoshidan or not, you were still their princess. A group of students threw him in the fountain in the town square." Nerr could not help but smile slightly at the thought, not just of some arrogant, puffed noble (whom she imagined looked like Iago) being humiliated, but also that people did not care about her tremulous claim to royalty. Just as she was a Nohrian in her heart, so too was she a Nohrian in theirs.
000
Less than a week later, when Elise had the strength to ride again, Nerr and her traveling party set out to continue their journey back to the capital. It seemed the entire town had turned out to watch them go, cheering and waving. Handfuls of posies, as well as gifts of cakes and sweets, were forced upon them. A young boy of about six offered her a basket of apples, beaming up at her with a gap-toothed smile. Nerr graciously accepted his gift, dipping into a curtsy, and had to bite back a laugh as his tiny chest puffed with pride. The boy proudly declared to the woman standing behind him (who Nerr took to be his mother) that, when he grew up, he was going to become a knight so he could protect 'his' princess.
Silently, the princess hoped that by the time the boy grew up, there would be nothing to be protected from. When they finally left the border, Camilla confided in her that their father hadn't had such a gathering of supporters in decades. Once, people would throw flowers on the ground before his royal processions; now, the only stared in stony silence. Nerr was not surprised; the people paid their respects out of fear, and fear gave way to hatred faster than adoration. She did not voice her thoughts, however. Ever since the events in the Sevenfold Sanctuary, she had been growing ever more suspicious that Iago might be employing some sort of magic to spy on her. Besides, Camilla knew full well why their father was losing the hearts of his people. She only wished he could see it as well as they could- it still wasn't too late for change.
000
It took several more days before they were finally back in Windmire. Even as she walked into the castle, Nerr could not say that she had returned "home", for home was still two hours away, tucked deep within the mountains. Having only ever managed a small household, she was still unaccustomed to the sight of so many people in the castle, guards and servants. This time, however, they seemed to be more noticeable than usual. Groups of three or four seemed to congregate in ever corner, talking amongst themselves. And not just idle chatter, either.
As she passed, Nerr could see dark looks of concern and fear on their faces, their hushed tones worried. She could make out words like 'Hoshidans' and 'the west', but her mind was too muddled with exhaustion to dwell on the matter for long. The princess yawned widely, sending Camilla and Elise off to rest. She knew she was expected to report to the king in person, and as such, began walking towards the stairs that lead up to the throne room. Azura followed a few paces behind her, looking this way and that, her expression somewhere between awe and fear.
"It's been too long since you've been here, hasn't it?" The Hoshidan princess shook her head, still looking up at the eaves and the heavy iron chandeliers that hung from them.
"It feels like it hasn't been long enough..."
"You don't have to worry about anyone hurting you here, Azura. I remember what you told me about your other siblings, but it's just Xander, Camilla, Leo and Elise. All the others are dead." The other woman stopped, fixing Nerr with a look reminiscent of a startled doe.
"All of them?"
"So I've been told. And that extends to Father's lovers as well. 'Dangle a bit of power before boors, and they'll kill themselves to get at it'. That's what Leo told me."
"So... so there's no one-"
"No one you need to worry about, no. Well... maybe Iago, but he can't do anything to you. You're Father's true daughter." Azura said nothing, instead turning her attention back to the tapestries and wall hangings. Nerr frowned a bit. There was something the other girl wasn't telling her, and even though she didn't really care, the overly suspicious way the other princess acted made her uncomfortable.
As they continued up the stairs, she noticed Iago's dark robes billowing as he descended to meet her halfway. The way his lips twisted, it seemed almost like he was fighting the urge to vomit. Nerr climbed another step, closing the distance between them, and he quickly backed up another. Perhaps he still remembered how she had tested his illusory magic. She certainly did.
"Ah, Lady Nerr..." He began unctuously, his oily voice at odds with the disgust plain in his eyes. "I see you've returned to us, safe and sound. News reached me of what happened in Macarath, and I was beside myself with fear. Why, if something had happened to Princess Elise, I'm not sure I could live with the grief."
"Of course. You do care so much about my siblings, don't you? Well, as much as I enjoy your company, I haven't time to waste on pleasantries. I must report to my father at once."
"Yes, of course. I'm sure you have much to discuss. Including your new little... discovery..." The sorcerer peered over her shoulder, fixing his cold stare on Azura, his painted lips turning down even further. "It is a pleasure to see you again, princess. You have been sorely missed all these years." Nerr looked back at Azura to see how she would react in the face of this wretched man. She did not so much as bat an eyelash, her face as impassive as ever.
"I would say the same, but I honestly don't know who you are. Some court jester?" Iago's face turned the color of sour milk as he wretched his gaze from her. It was clear he wanted to lash out at the singer, but just as Nerr had predicted, he restrained himself, knowing he could not treat a true Nohrian princess the way he treated the one standing in front of him. She pushed past him, pausing for a moment before turning back around and looking down at him.
"Since you're aware of everything that happens everywhere, maybe you can fill me in on why there's so much commotion here." A nasty smile stretched his lips, the sallow flesh creasing around the eye not concealed by his gilded mask.
"Oh, there's just a little rebellion underway in Chevalier. Nothing your royal head should worry about; our soldiers are preparing to quash it as we speak." After the warmth she'd seen in both Macarath and Notre Sagesse, news of more rebelling was all the more jarring, but in her heart, she had been expecting such a thing for some time. After all, hadn't Chief Kilma told her of the people's discontent with the monarchy?
"Another rebellion... Wonderful. Guess I know where I'm headed next..." She muttered, half to herself. Iago chuckled slightly.
"I'm sure King Garon will fill you in on the specifics if you so please. I would advise against keeping him waiting..."
000
It was strange seeing the throne room so empty. For the first time, Nerr's brothers and sisters were not there to act as a buffer between her and their father. Azura had come with her, of course, but she'd practically had to drag the other woman, and even when they entered the chamber, she had refused to take another step, ducking behind one of the pillars. Nerr wanted to roll her eyes, but the truth was, she was more envious than annoyed- hiding was exactly what she wanted to do as well. But she would be strong- there was nothing to fear, especially considering that she had done everything the king had asked of her. Breathing deeply and setting her shoulders back, she approached the throne where King Garon sat, bowing lowly and waiting for him to speak. She was expecting an unaffected boredom at best, and cold fury at worst, so it came as a surprise that his tone could almost be considered warm.
"Welcome back, child. I hear you have once again fulfilled my orders flawlessly. You are growing stronger right before my eyes, blooming into a true princess of Nohr. I am proud of you, my daughter." Hesitantly, Nerr lifted her eyes. His expression was not warm by any measure, but the ever burning loathing that she had grown accustomed to seeing in his eyes was absent. Maybe he really was proud of her. Maybe he had finally seen how loyal she was and whatever goodness remained in him, be it Anankos or whatever, would allow him to open his heart to her. It was too dear a wish, like so many others she'd held in her heart. Still, she allowed herself to straighten, meeting the king's gaze.
"Thank you, Father. All I do is for the glory of Nohr."
"And so you have brought Nohr the glory it deserves. But we must never rest on our laurels. Chevalier requires immediate attention. Perhaps Iago already told you of the rebellion there?" Nerr nodded, replying tersely.
"He mentioned it." Garon drummed his fingers on the stone armrest, the deep creases and wrinkles that lined his face shadowed darkly as he bowed his head.
"Their rebellion is still small as of now, the brainchild of young nobility who think it is their gods-given right to destroy the natural order of things. But it will not stay that way for long. These kinds of radicals are the most dangerous, infecting everything in their presence with their ridiculous ideas. Normally, such a thing would not be cause for alarm, but Chevalier is renowned for their skilled knights, so we cannot afford to underestimate their prowess on the battlefield. I will be sending our standing army to strike them down before this gets out of control. I am trusting you, Nerr, to lead them to victory."
Nerr had only been half listening to her father's speech until that moment. She assumed from the onset that she would be sent out, severely undermanned as usual, so that if she were to meet her death, it would seem like a tragic accident. But the way he spoke, it sounded like she was to be made the commander of an actual division.
"You want me to lead our standing army against Chevois knights?!"
"That is correct." The princess had half hoped she had misheard him the first time.
"I-I am honored that you would place so much faith in me, Father, but..."
"But?" And just like that, his voice turned hard, anger dripping from that one word. It seemed the very air around him had turned glacial. Nerr swallowed hard and continued.
"But I fear I don't have the necessary expertise to lead our troops against such skilled soldiers. The only experience I have is leading a small band of retainers; I've never even fought with a regiment. Surely there must be someone else who is better suited for-"
"Are you defying me, child?!" The girl flinched as the king half rose from his seat, glaring down at her with a wild rage in his eyes. "I am well aware of what experience you have. If I thought someone else was better suited for this mission, I would not be wasting my breath on you! I am entrusting you with this because I am confident you will succeed. Do not disappoint me, daughter." Swallowing hard, Nerr fought to keep from balling her hands into fists- the last thing she needed now was for the king to view that as an act of defiance. Once she was sure her voice would not crack, she nodded.
"Of course not, Father. I understand. I will not let you down."
"Good. Always bear in mind that I have high hopes for you, Nerr. You are dismissed." Calming, Garon sat back down, waving her off with a lazy flick of his wrist. She would've loved more than anything to take the opportunity to run out and never look back, but there was still one last order of business to deal with.
"Father? If I could have one more moment of your time, there's something else I need to report."
"Well? Out with it?" Continuing to face him, Nerr half walked, half ran backwards until she reached the pillar Azura was hiding behind. Ignoring the way the girl cringed as she took her arm, she dragged her out, back to the the throne. Though he had seemed entirely uninterested before, the king's attention was was now rapt.
"Father. Azura has been returned to us."
"What?! How- how is this-" Garon's eyes were wide as his mouth moved silently. Azura more interested in the plush red carpet than anything, until Nerr elbowed her sharply. Looking up, the singer dipped into a low curtsy.
"Greetings, your Majesty."
"Azura..." The king's voice was a low, hoarse whisper. He had half-risen from his throne again, and Nerr wondered if he wanted to get up and embrace his long lost daughter. Azura, on the other hand, remained distant.
"Yes, milord. It is I."
"...I never thought I'd see you again... I thought those Hoshidan savages would kill you when they had no more need of you..."
"Not at all; they always treated me with kindness." A dark shadow fell over his ashen face, and he sat back down.
"Did they, now...? Well, it matters not. All that matters is that you are home once again, where you belong. I will have a room made up for you immediately, my daughter. Your childhood quarters have not been touched in all this time, but it seems you've outgrown them... You have grown so much... You look so much like your mother..." A cold look seemed to cross Azura's face, but by the time Nerr noticed it, she had gone back to being stolid.
"I appreciate that, sire, but in truth, I would rather accompany Nerr to Chevalier." Garon frowned deeply.
"Whatever for?"
"I'd like to lend my strength to suppressing the rebellion." Silence stretched out for a long time as the king fixed his newly returned daughter with a hard stare. Finally, with a deep exhalation, he nodded curtly.
"Very well, then. Go if you wish. Think of it as a chance to reconnect with your homeland. Bring back good news, my daughters."
The girls bowed deeply before backing out of the chamber. Once the heavy doors had closed with a resounding thud, Nerr turned to the other princess, whistling lowly.
"Next time warn me when you're going to be that cold. I need to brace for such a chill."
"Don't take that tone with me, Nerr." Azura's voice was surprisingly short. "You acted exactly the same way to Empress Mikoto."
"Yes. Because I literally did not know who she was at the time. I had no memories of her, no recollection whatsoever. I was a small child when I was taken to Nohr, and indoctrinated to believe this is where I was born. You know full well who Garon is, so don't act like it's the same circumstances, because it's not." The songstress sighed deeply, running a hand through her long, tangled hair.
"You're right, Nerr. You're right, it's just..." She broke off, sighing again. "I never expected to see him again. When I was brought to Hoshido, Mikoto explained to me that it was only temporary. As soon as you were returned, I could go back home. I waited, and waited, and waited, but nothing happened. King Garon had most of the messengers that she sent executed, and the few he let return all said the same thing- he didn't negotiate with savages. The tiny amount of control over Hoshido that you afforded him was more important than me. When I realized how little I meant to him, I just... stopped caring."
Nerr felt her heart bleed for the other woman. She remembered how she'd felt when she realized she had been nothing more than a pawn in the grand scheme of things, the anger and betrayal and, above all else, sorrow that came with knowing she didn't matter. Reaching out, she took Azura's hand in her own, squeezing it.
"I know how that feels, Azura. Believe me, I know it all too well. For fifteen years, I thought King Garon was my father and, well... you see how he is. Honestly, that was the kindest he's ever been to me. But he is your father. The whole time I was in Hoshido, I didn't believe Mikoto was my mother. She tried to talk to me, to bond with me, and I wouldn't let her. ...I regret that more than you can ever know. Knowing that I wouldn't even call her 'Mother' before she died will haunt me until the day I die."
"So what are you saying, Nerr?" Azura looked up at her, a deep melancholy in her golden eyes. "That I should just forget that fact that my father threw me away for fifteen years? That I should go back to being his perfect pearl, and laugh and smile like nothing wrong ever happened?"
"...Not if you don't want to. I know that's a lot to forgive. I know you might never forgive him- Hells, do you think I've forgiven him for what happened in Shirasagi? Not in this lifetime. But if he were to die tomorrow... I wouldn't want to risk you feeling the guilt that I do. Maybe just... smile once or twice. Even if you don't mean it." Though she remained quiet for a long time, Azura eventually nodded, squeezing Nerr's hand back.
"Alright. I'll try."
000
After their little heart to heart, Nerr had helped the songstress find her new quarters. Even though the massive castle was still confusing to her, she knew her way around better than Azura, it seemed. As they wandered the corridors, the Hoshidan girl pointed out various alcoves and tight spaces where she remembered hiding from her cruel siblings and their even crueler mothers. Nerr had already been in Nohr for a while when she had been taken; it was hard to imagine that she might have been laughing and running around the Northern Citadel with Silas while Azura huddled behind a suit of armor, crying. Maybe she would be a little nicer to the girl. Maybe.
When they finally reached the newly prepared room, a much nicer one than Nerr's, Azura admitted as she readied herself for a nap that the real reason she'd asked her to accompany her wasn't because she was afraid of getting lost- she was still just wary of Nohrian servants. The other princess assured her that the ones who had been cold to her as a child had all probably retired and left the castle. That was what had happened at the Citadel- she remembered now all too well the mean maids and guards who were supposed to protect her, but instead, found their amusement in tormenting her. One by one, they all disappeared, until it was just Jakob and Gunther for a long time. She hadn't missed them in the slightest, either. Slightly more at ease, Azura bid Nerr farewell, at least until supper time.
Before she could even hope to return to her own quarters, Nerr first decided to stop by the wing of the castle that housed the barracks. If nothing else, she needed to get an idea of how many people she would be traveling with. The thought of large crowds still sent an unpleasant jolt through her stomach, but given all the horrible things she'd dealt with thus far, it shouldn't have been so bad. If she could at least rest a little before dealing with anyone, she was certain she wouldn't feel so terrible, but at the same time, Nerr knew that if she went back to her room, they'd need a pitchfork to drag her out again. In fact, even as she walked, she was so busy trying to decide if she would take a bath or nap first when she returned that she didn't even notice the sound of footsteps running towards her.
"Princess Nerr! Milady!"
The princess stopped, nearly stumbling, as waves of shock coursed through her. Slowly, she turned towards the direction of the person calling to her. Approaching her with quick steps was Hans, wearing a simple shirt and trousers rather than the leather armor she'd last seen him in. He smiled, looking almost human. Almost.
"So it must be true. I'd heard a rumor that our young princess would be leading us to Chevalier. Congratulations on the honor, Princess Nerr." Still she remained silent, staring at him unblinkingly. Everything, even the thumping of her heart, seemed to slow down. His... smile, if one could call it that, slowly faded. "Did you hear, milady?" A hint of anger was creeping into his voice. "I said 'congratulations'."
"... … ...YOU!"
With a primal shriek that ripped itself painfully from her throat, Nerr lunged at the man, head lowered, ramming into his muscled gut like a bull. The wind was knocked from him as he hit the ground hard, the princess atop him. Doors opened, their occupants pouring out to see what all the commotion was about. It must've been bizarre, for the soldiers to see their princess straddling one of their commanders in a manner reminiscent of lovers, but there was nothing romantic about the way she pummeled him. Too enraged to even think about drawing her sword, Nerr smashed her balled fists onto every inch of pallid flesh she could reach, mostly focusing on his face. She was waiting for the moment she would feel the bones crack and cave under her blows.
"I'll kill you!" Nerr screamed, not caring who heard or saw what, solely focused on causing the monster beneath her as much pain as possible. "I'll kill you, you son of a bitch! You poxy, whoreson pig! I'll rip your throat out with my teeth! How dare you approach me like you've forgotten your crimes?!" Strong hands, many sets of them, grabbed her around the middle, restraining her arms, pulling her away. She struggled, refusing to be denied her justice a second time.
"Milady, what are you doing?!" The earnest, confused faces of young (and not so young) knights swam before her eyes, clouded with rage. She must've seemed a rabid beast to them. Breathing hard, she struggled to control the fury still boiling within her. Coughing and gasping for breath, Hans pushed himself up. Blood streamed from his nose, which was swollen and misshapen. There was not an inch of flesh on his face that was not mottled as blood pooled beneath the skin, turning it a sickly purple. One of the knights pulled him to his feet.
"Lieutenant Hans? What the hell was that about?" Nerr bared her teeth at him, daring him to try and lie to make her look bad. Memories of their last encounter, or more specifically, what she had done to him during their last encounter, must've quickly resurfaced, for he shook his head, wincing.
"Lady Nerr is upset with me; and rightfully so. When Hoshidan reinforcements came at the Infinite Chasm, I had already left. I was following the king's orders, but still..." The soldier who'd helped him up quickly pulled his hand away, looking disgusted.
"You abandoned the princess at the border? That's probably why she got kidnapped by those savages in the first place! Dastard- you deserve that beating and then some." That seemed to be the consensus amongst the soldiers, who quickly returned to their quarters, those that had pulled Nerr away apologizing for their brashness. Within a matter of minutes, the corridor was deserted, leaving her and Hans alone. At once, she turned her murderous glare back at him, the older man quickly taking a few steps back.
"You have three seconds to tell me why I should spare your miserable waste of a life..."
"I'm sorry, milady!" He approached her, dropping to his knees as he looked up at her. Anyone else might've been fooled by fake supplications, but not Nerr. Not after she had seen the devious joy in his soulless eyes as he drove Gunther off the bridge at the chasm. "It was the king's orders, I swear it! He said if there were Hoshidans at the boarder, I was to provoke hostilities. It was the only way we could officially declare war!"
"And Gunther? Who's 'hostilities' were you provoking then?" The fighter's lips trembled in fear. He had seen her unleash only a fraction of what her rage was capable of. How would he react to seeing a full grown, bloodthirsty dragon appear before him? A little voice in the back of her head whispered, gleefully malicious, 'Fresh meat...'
"Th-that was King Garon's orders, too! He told me to knock the old- Sir Gunther, into the ravine. I don't know why he said it- it didn't make any sense! I figured if he wanted someone dead, there were easier ways to do it, but no; he specifically said he had to go in the ravine!"
"Why should I believe you?"
"Why would I lie?! Why would I attack the princess's retainer in front of her if I didn't have orders from someone higher to do so?! Why would I risk my life doing something that stupid for any other reason?!"
His logic was sound. Disturbingly so. The Hoshidans, she could maybe believe, but Gunther...? He had served her father for nearly twenty years before becoming her retainer; he had fought alongside the king on the battlefield, followed him everywhere as a member of the royal guard... Why would Garon have ordered his death for any reason other than to make her suffer? Then again, it seemed that many of his orders were issued with just that as the reason behind them. Even if Hans was telling the truth, it didn't matter. Nothing would ever, ever justify his actions.
"I still don't know why you dare to approach me. I said I'd kill you back at the Chasm; did you think I was joking?" Swallowing hard, Hans got to his feet.
"If I didn't have to, I'd never so much as look at you again, princess." That was the first thing he'd said that Nerr actually believed. "But I was told to await your arrival. As the lieutenant of the standing army, I'll be accompanying you to Chevalier. I've been ordered to aid you in whatever task you require of me."
"I require your death." Nerr hissed at him, feeling a pain begin to build behind her eyes. "Can you aid me with that? Because if not, you stay the hell away from me. I will never, ever forgive you for what you did at the Chasm, orders or not." Hans hung his head; every time he tried to act sorry, Nerr felt her anger surge.
"I understand, but I pray that one day, you might find some forgiveness in your heart. You should know, despite the tragedy of that day, King Garon was pleased with how you handled the Hoshidans. And when you returned, choosing to side with our great Kingdom of Nohr despite being a Hoshidan royal... Choosing to remain with your siblings and the man who raised you... Everyone in the castle was overjoyed. It greatly improved our morale. That's why I have every faith that you will lead us well and to victory." Once again, Nerr lapsed into a long silence. She could see the uncertainty brewing in those empty caverns that passed for Hans' eyes.
"...Gunther was the man who raised me. And you murdered him."
"M-milady?"
"Your hollow flattery and empty attempts to appeal to my familial love might've worked before, Hans, but you'll be quick to find I no longer have forgiveness in my heart. You murdered that as well." She leaned forward. She was not as tall as the man, so she grabbed the gaping collar of his shirt, paying no heed to the blood drying on it, and pulled him down to her level. She could smell the fear tinging his sweat, and it only served to fuel her burning hatred as she seethed at him.
"You took away my hope. You destroyed my happiness. You extinguished the last flicker of light I had left in my soul... And I will make you pay for that. You won't know when... and you won't know how... but you will know why. And it will hurt. And you will cry. And I will laugh. ...Oh, and did I mention it will hurt? Because that's important." She shoved him back, spitting at his feet as he caught himself. "You're dismissed."
000
The entire journey to Chevalier was an unpleasant one, for Nerr's companions just as much as for herself. It seemed that Azura was right- her mood did affect those of her comrades, and from the moment they, joined with the might of some hundred or so soldiers, left Castle Krakenburg, she had been inundated with a cold, seething fury. She could not see Hans amidst the rest of the soldiers, his demonic face hidden in a sea of others, but she knew he was there. She could smell him, smell the callous blood lust that simmered beneath his skin. She could feel him, as if he were right behind her, staring at that vulnerable place at the nape of her neck. She remained tense throughout the entire march, so much so that her shoulders actually hurt.
Elise and Camilla and Jakob seemed well aware of what was causing her bitterness (she noticed that Jakob had taken to standing behind her as they walked, as if he could form a barrier between her and that loathsome presence). The others, not so much. As they set up camp at night, she often heard her sibling's retainers talking about her when they thought she was out of earshot- little did they know, she was rarely out of earshot, even when they stood at near opposite ends of their camp. Odin had purported that there was some dark spirit lingering about her that needed to be exorcised right stat immediately. Nyx, ever a voice of mature reason, had insisted that whatever darkness haunted her could not be so easily exorcised. Lazwald often intoned that she needed to smile more, for the sake of all their morale (and because she had such a pretty smile; Xander was always saying that). And Pieri was certain that she needed to have a little stabbing party to clear her from her doldrums.
Xander's retainers were right, both of them. Nerr knew she should be putting on airs for the sake of her company, and she also knew that driving her blade into Hans' gut until it stopped meeting resistance would give her some measure of peace, but she could only do one of those things. So in the final days of their march, the princess forced the muscles in her cheeks to lift up, she joined in on conversations despite how insipid she found them and, for all intents and purposes, slipped back into the routine of being her old self.
000
The night sky over the duchy of Chevalier was especially bright, with the moon hanging full in the sky. There were so many stars, more even than she had seen at the Northern Citadel. The air was cold, but clear, and the effect was beautiful. The city itself was beautiful as well, despite having been built in the mountainous wastelands. It's fortified walls were mounted with torches, casting a flickering warmth over the tall plastered houses with their clay roofs. The princess could see a bazaar in the distance, and though the town was quiet now, she could just imagine it in the day, bustling and full of joyful noise and life. All in all, it reminded her a bit of Freesia. Why did the most peaceful places in Nohr, those the furthest removed from the rampant poverty and crime, have to be the ones that rebelled? Nerr already knew the answer to that, it was cemented further in her mind every time her father gave her another order to destroy anyone who dared stand between him and his goals.
But she would not be like that, she would not give into the easy option of laying waste to everything that posed a threat to Nohr. She had managed to talk the people of Freesia out of their rebellion; hopefully, she would be able to do the same here. After all, why else had she wasted so many years of her life with her nose thrust into dusty treatises on diplomacy? And perhaps the soldiers who had accompanied her would see that there were ways to deal with matters other than the sword. But before she could do anything, she'd need to find the rebellion, which seemed difficult seeing as there was no one about. Granted, they could just start knocking down doors and searching houses, but that would do nothing but terrify those who had nothing to do with the rebellion, and stoke the flames of hatred for those that did.
"If the rebels have caught wind of our arrival, they certainly aren't trying to meet us with force."
"Of course not, dearest; no sane person would take on the Nohrian army head on." Camilla walked over to her, Elise and Azura in tow. Her visible eye was narrowed as she surveyed the tight alleys between the houses. "They've undoubtedly returned to their safe hold for the night. We should do the same- our troops have been marching without rest all day. They'll be better prepared to fight in the morning."
"I'm hoping it won't come down to that, sister. If I can find the rebel's leader, I might be able to discuss their demands and negotiate with them." The eldest princess sighed deeply, shaking her head.
"Oh, Nerr... You've been cooped up in that wretched fortress for so long that you have no idea how the real world works. What these rebels want is to secede from Nohr, and Father will never allow that. The only way to deal with naughty children is to beat them down until they don't make the same mistake again." Elise gasped in horror, looking up at her sister with wide eyes. Nerr felt bad for bringing her- she should've been back at the castle, resting, but the young troubadour refused to back down.
"You don't mean we have to kill them all? Maybe we can compromise, or something..."
"That is exactly what I aim to do, Elise." She reached out, stroking the girl's soft hair. "I'll do all I can to ensure the safety of these people, I promise you." The younger princess smiled widely as her older sister shook her head in defeat.
"We should find some place to set up camp." Azura's voice was quiet, almost lost in the still night air. "I doubt the townspeople would put up lodgings for so many soldiers, and we can't be certain who's sympathetic to the rebellion."
"My thoughts exactly, sweetie." Camilla nodded. "There's a palace on the outskirts of town. Father used to hold court there in the summer, but no one's used it for many years. It should be large enough to house our little division."
"That sounds good. But we should give it a once-over, just to make sure there's no one lurking in the shadows. The rebels might well have commandeered it for their use."
The four sisters began walking towards the southernmost part of town, where Nerr could just see towers looming over the city walls. She heard something rustle in the bushes behind her and turned quickly, drawing her sword, readying herself for an ambush. A small yellow kitten ran out of the brush, carrying a limp rat in it's mouth as it fled beneath one of the houses. The princess sighed, putting away her blade. She was so on edge that every little noise sent her heart racing. How silly, to be terrified of a little cat...
"Hello, sister, dear. I've been waiting for you." Nerr couldn't even form coherent thoughts in her mind, turning to face the person who addressed her more from instinct than reason. All she could see was a blinding light explode in front of her, and a burning pain tear itself through her chest. She screamed, the force of the unexpected blow knocking her back.
"Nerr!" Her sisters, even Azura, all cried out to her, and she felt strong arm lift her up- she wasn't even aware that she had hit the ground. Her vision swam from the pain, and she could feel blood soaking into her shirt, though not nearly as much as she would've assumed. Blinking hard to focus her eyes, she looked up, her heart skipping a few painful beats as she noticed Takumi standing a few houses away. He rested his gilded bow on his shoulder, almost looking bored aside from the loathing that darkened his eyes.
"Damn, sooo close. I was aiming for your traitorous head. I thought the shower of brains and blood that followed would make for a festive scene." Anger over riding her pain, Nerr clambered to her feet.
"Takumi, you lunatic! You could've killed- No, wait. That's precisely what you were trying to do. You clearly don't care who's caught in your crossfire."
"Why should I?" He shot back. "When all I see is a gaggle of Nohrian whores." Camilla moved to stand in front of Nerr, unhooking the ax that hung from her waist, the frosted silver enveloped in an icy fog.
"You stay back, dearest. Obviously, this sad little boy still hasn't learned his manners. Once my Artemis has cleared away some of his blood and bones, maybe that will make room for them." Takumi just laughed- considering that it was clear Camilla was one second away from detaching his head from his shoulders, it stood to reason that he might truly be loosing his mind.
"Hiding behind your fake sister, are you? You've reached a new low. At the very least, accept your death with some shred of dignity." Nerr stepped out from behind the older woman, not goaded by his words, just wanting to look him in the eye as she responded. She wondered, for a moment, if he would hate her so fervently had she returned to Hoshido. Most likely- he blamed her for the death of their mother; nothing would change that.
"I won't die here, least of all at your hand. You have no sense of self preservation, do you, Takumi? A true prince would've taken his paltry band of soldiers back home to recover after the sound beating they already received, not driven them back in the fray."
"Don't you tell me what my duties are, you slag! I'm not the traitor, I'm not the one who turned my back on Hoshido! I fight for my country, and the soldiers I command do the same!"
"This doesn't concern you or Hoshido. Go home and deal with the rebellions there. I have enough to worry about without having to babysit your soldiers."
"Would one of those things you have to worry about be how you're going to slaughter each and every one of us?" Another voice, this one unknown and markedly female, came from somewhere behind Takumi. A woman, about Nerr's age, stepped out from one of the alleys. She wore Nohrian armor, that of a wyvern lord, but it was a vivid crimson. With her short blonde hair and pale skin, she would've been pretty had she not been scowling so hard. She stopped to stand beside the Hoshidan prince, glaring at Nerr as if she wished for her imminent death. "I knew the monarchy's dogs would come to stomp out our revolution. All the more reason to stand our ground." Nerr frowned as well.
"I've only come to try and negotiate some middle ground between Chevalier and the crown, but it seems my very presence has enraged you, stranger. May I at least ask the name of the person who so clearly wants me dead?"
"The name's Scarlet," The woman conceded. "And it's not that I want you dead; it's just that that's the only way any change will come about in Nohr. As long as the monarchy exists, they will continue to suppress us."
"And how are we suppressing you?" Nerr shot back, nearly shouting. "Does the crown burden you with unfair taxes?"
"No-"
"Are the people of your city forcibly conscripted into the army?"
"Well, no, but-"
"Do Nohrian soldiers come in and raze your fields and loot your homes?"
"No."
"Then what wrong does the monarchy do?! Why are you so dissatisfied?!"
"Because King Garon is a despot who demands all his subjects to bend to his will, or fall on the sword!" Scarlet matched her angry tone. "No, he isn't cruel or unfair... until he suspects that his people might not be as loyal as they seem. Then he starts razing and pillaging! And that's what he's doing to Hoshido, a country that's done no wrong to him. We won't stand for it anymore! Our spies are everywhere; I've known your every movement since you've left Windmire." The woman grinned cruelly. "Our Hoshidan allies were all too grateful to receive word of your whereabouts." Camilla tsk'd in disgust, as she fixed Scarlet with a withering glare.
"Turning your back on your own kingdom to sell us out to our enemies... If you hate Nohr so much, why don't you just move to Hoshido? You'd undoubtedly be happier there, and we'd be happy to be rid of the likes of you, wretched little traitor that you are."
"Traitor? Ha! Nohrian logic never ceases to amuse me." Takumi gave a sharp bark of laughter that echoed through the streets. In some of the houses, Nerr could see lights coming on as people moved to investigate the source of all the commotion. "Scarlet-san is doing the exact same thing your precious fake sister did, only she chose the right side." He looked back at Nerr, his eyes narrowed into hateful slits. "Joining the enemy and laying a trap for your own countrymen... Sound familiar?"
"Stop it!" Much to everyone's surprise, Elise ran forward, her face screwed up in anger as she shouted at Takumi. "You be quiet! Don't say those awful things about my sister, or you'll be sorry! Nerr didn't betray anybody. She's the best person in the world!" Takumi's face twisted into an ugly scowl.
"Ugh... Who allowed this little brat to speak? How irritating. This should teach you to hold your tongue in the presence of adults." Before Nerr could even think to react, he had raised his bow and fired a shot. It hit Elise in the middle, and she screamed in pain, getting knocked off her feet. The older girl screamed as well, in fear, in rage, dropping to her knees to pull her sister into her embrace. The white leather corset she wore was torn, blood spreading over it's surface.
"Elise!" Azura knelt beside her as well, pulling a vulnerary from the bag she wore slung over her shoulders. She held it to her sister's lips, urging her to drink. Vividly painful deja vu played out before Nerr's eyes; hadn't she just gone through this terror a week ago? Takumi's cruel, hateful voice continued somewhere above her.
"The sight of that little Nohrian bitch makes me sick... Just die already. All of you. Scarlet-san and I won't stop until we free Chevalier of Nohrian oppression." Nerr looked up. Even Scarlet, for all her talk of destroying the monarchy, seemed disturbed by Takumi's actions. The expression on her face was somewhere between shock and horror, but he paid her no mind. It was clear that he only regarded the woman as a tool to help him get revenge against Nohr, against her.
"I will eliminate all who stand between me and that goal, every last Nohrian man, woman and child. It's you against us, Nerrida. Isn't that just what Garon wants? For all of us to fight to the death?" Convinced that Elise was safe for now in Azura's arms, she got to her feet, unsheathing her Yato. The stones in it's blade seemed to glow faintly in the darkness.
"No, Takumi... That's what you want. The only one here who wants to fight to the death is you, and if you dare to hurt my sister, or any of my people again, I will gladly grant you the death you so desperately crave...!" She charged at him, and it was only by sheer luck that he managed to duck, the cutting edge of her blade catching at his leather faulds. He tried to fire another arrow, but he was too close to her to aim. Nerr struck again, this time slashing him across the arm. She would've cut his arm off had Scarlet not raised the ax carried at her waist to block her blade, pushing her back. Clutching his bloodied arm, Takumi stumbled away, raising his voice so it carried through the city.
"Soldiers! All troops, prepare for battle! Destroy the Nohrian army, take no prisoners!" He lowered his voice, seething just so Nerr could hear him. She couldn't be sure, but it seemed like he was twitching slightly, fingers jerking as he clutched at his head. "I'll kill you all... y-yes... If I kill all the Nohrians, surely the pain... the pain in my head will go away..."
000
As Takumi and Scarlet retreated to join up with their troops, Nerr sent Camilla to alert their own soldiers that the battle would soon begin. Azura had managed to stop Elise's bleeding, and all she could think was where the young girl could hide until the fighting was over. Still pale-faced and groaning slightly from the pain, Elise climbed to her feet. She was fine, she insisted, it was no worse than a little scrape.
"After all, big sis, you've gotten hurt way worse than this and you still fight. I have to do my best with all of you."
The soldiers, a mix of Hoshidans and Chevois knights, had set up their defenses in south of town. She could see that most of the Nohrian opposition wore the same red as their leader Scarlet. Nerr ordered the royal army to surround them from outside the walls, blocking off their escape, but to avoid unnecessary causalities. After all, most of the people they were fighting were Nohrians as well. She could see Takumi directing a group of rebels across the bridge to the east, and tightened her grip on her sword. She would take care of him herself, and given the rage building within her, it was going to be hard to consider him an unnecessary casualty. It was one thing for him to attack her with the intent to kill, but Elise? A young girl, no older than his own little sister, clearly unarmed? Only a monster would do something like that.
The rebels and Hoshidans seemed to be working together to lock them in a pincer maneuver. She sent Odin, Niles, Jakob and Camilla over to deal with a group of men carrying strange, wooden scrolls. She assumed by their lack of armor that they were mages, and was proven right as a strange symbol ignited on the ground below one of them, unlike any magic runes Nerr had ever seen. He unleashed what seemed to be a charging bull composed of bright magenta flames. Niles barely seemed fazed by it as it struck him, nonchalantly notching an arrow and letting it fly in retaliation, paying no mind to the smoldering edges of his cloak.
Closer to her, Nerr could hear the clanking of heavy armor as two knights charged them. Effie stepped forward, her own armor even louder, and swung her lance. It hit one of the knights in the middle, and with a terrible scrapping sound, his plackart was cut nearly in half, as if the tempered steel had been wet parchment. The man stared down at his ruined armor, his mouth gaping open in terror, and was caught completely unaware by the hand ax Arthur threw at him. It struck massive pauldron he wore with a shower of sparks, and knocked him backwards, off the bank where he stood and into the river.
"Wow, Arthur. That was amazing!" Elise's voice brimmed with excitement, and her retainer puffed his chest proudly.
"Thank you, milady. I confess myself as awestruck as you- that's the first time I've landed a clean hit without it backfiring spectacularly-" While he spoke, the ground beneath his feet began to crumble, and as huge clods of dirt slipped away, the knight slipped into the river as well. Nerr cringed, relieved as his blonde head popped back up immediately, but still horrified. How could one man's luck be so bad, and was it infectious? 'Perhaps Elise should start spending a bit of time away from him...' She thought. 'She's been lucky with two near fatalities so far, but one's luck can't hold out forever...' Even as she thought those words, a loud commotion behind her caused the princess to tense. She could hear people speaking, one voice very loud and feminine, the other quieter, deeper, and masculine.
"It's those fucking tweedy noblesse rebel fuckers again, isn't it? I've had it up to my fucking tits with them! I'm gon' kill those sons of bitches this time, Benny, I ain't playin'. Are you fucking listening to me?!"
"...Yes, Charlotte. They're very loud." Slowly backing away from her group, Nerr edge around to get a better look at the people talking.
They seemed to have just run in through the city gates, and definitely wore the armor of Nohrian soldiers, but so too did half the people they were fighting. Both were blonde, though the man's skin was much tawnier than most Nohrians. He was a massive bear of a man, his armor jet black and easily reminiscent of some spectre of death one would see on the battlefield. His companion looked the exact opposite; pale and delicate, with a mountain of curls held back from her face by a large white ribbon. Her armor too was white, the thick leather favored by ax fighters. As the princess drew closer, she noticed with a pang of envy that the woman had an incredible bosom, on par with Camilla's. She looked like every man's fantasy, aside from the loathsome scowl twisting her features, and the heavy steel ax she was brandishing.
"Excuse me." Nerr let her presence be known. She noticed that the hulking knight started violently, clutching at his heart as he noticed her. "Are you two with the rebels? Because if so, I'd ask you politely to leave lest we're forced to hurt you." The other woman's scowl deepened.
"How fucking dare you?"
"Excuse me?!"
"Are you deaf or blind? Do we look like fucking rebels to you? Are we over there, hobnobbing it with the Hoshidans? Just because we're Chevois doesn't mean you can lump us in with those fucking idiots. We are proud, Nohrian soldiers, here to defend our border from those gods damned byak savages. Ain't that right, Benny?"
"...sure." Nerr felt her brows furrow in confusion. She always thought that the knights who guarded the borders of the various cities in Nohr were trained to be polite and respectful. Were she somewhere niceties mattered, such as the king's court, she'd have been more offended, but at the moment, all that mattered was the possible addition of two more capable fighters to her ranks.
"Well, I apologize for not recognizing you as border guards- something in your demeanor, perhaps. I am Princess Nerr Von Krakenburg, and if you've come to aid us in suppressing the rebellion, I welcome your help."
The woman, who's name she gathered to be 'Charlotte', froze for a moment, her ax slipping from her grasp and hitting the ground, sending dirt and dust flying. She blinked as her mouth worked silently.
"P-p-princess? You're a princess...? You... are Princess Nerr?"
"Yes. And those are my sisters, Camilla, Azura, and Elise, fighting over yonder." The blonde woman made a choked whimpering noise, but in the time it took to blink, she had composed herself... into an entirely different person.
"Oh! Please forgive me, milady! Where are my manners?! I must've been bitten by an evil little fairy, hee hee; I would never even dream of being so rude to our beloved princess!" Nerr actually took a step back, completely put off by this change in demeanor. It reminded her too bitterly of Hans trying to lie his way back into her favor. The male knight, who must have been 'Benny', stepped forward, bowing as much as his heavy armor would allow.
"Please forgive my companion, milady. She's... eccentric." 'That's not the word I'd use to describe it...' Aloud, she said,
"It's fine, but have you two come to help or not?"
"Not exactly, milady. We didn't know the army was here. We just thought the rebels were being loud again, so Charlotte came to bash their skulls in and kick their asses back over the wall-"
"Shut the fuck up, Benny! I'll fucking kill you, I-" She seemed to remember she was in the presence of royalty, and turned back to Nerr, smiling in a simpering manner. "I mean, Benny, you silly-billy! Don't joke around with out rich princess friend. Of course we're here to help you! I may be a delicate, little flower, but I'm still a Nohrian knight. Why bother living if we can't help our fair princess in her time of need? Ain't that- Isn't that right, Benoit?"
"...sure." It seemed Benoit was so used to his companion's strange outbursts and mood swings that he was bored by the whole thing. Nerr frowned. The 'delicate flower' had inadvertently let her motives slip when she mentioned her 'rich' princess friend. The princess would not begrudge her for wanting compensation- when times were lean, many knights moonlighted as sell swords.
"I would welcome your aid, but I have no patience to babysit a delicate flower. That first girl I spoke with, the one who was loud, crude, and offensively rude, looked capable of swinging an ax, but I have my doubts about you. Your friend- Benoit, was it?- is welcomed to stay, and will be paid handsomely for his troubles, but perhaps you should just run along home, little girl."
"What?! NO! I'm the one who needs money, me! Give me a chance; I will kill every last one of these sons of bitches!"
"That's what I prefer to hear. But please, try to spare the lives of our enemies. We're not here to kill to get our point across."
"Of course! You've got it, milady!" The warrior chuckled cruelly to herself and, with Benny in tow, headed out to meet a pair of Malig knights flying towards them over the river.
Nerr watched for a moment as Charlotte leapt into the air, bringing her ax down hard on one of the knight's heads, knocking them from their saddle. She sighed; why did it seem that any time someone held an ax, they got drunk on blood lust? She had no time to think of it. She could see Takumi rallying forward, amidst another group of rebels. Silas, Effie and a dripping Arthur seemed to be doing just fine dealing with the rebels, but Nerr could see her blood brother taking aim at Azura, who was singing loudly to help reinvigorate the soldiers. Putting on an extra burst of speed, she charged forward, lunging at the songstress and knocking them both to the ground just as one of Takumi's arrows exploded over their heads, the gust it created whipping up the dust.
"Gods dammit! Why don't you just die already?!"
"Takumi..." Azura looked up, the hurt she felt evident in her eyes. Her brother just scowled and took aim once more.
"Shut up, Azura! You don't deserve to say my name!" Scrambling to her feet, Nerr ran towards him, Yato drawn and glinting in the moonlight. She raked her sword across his chest, and he cried out in pain as drops of blood splattered on the dusty stone of the bridge.
"Take your anger out on me, you dastard! Leave your sister out of this."
"She's not my sister! She's one of you!" Nerr struck him again before he could move to notch another magical arrow, but he refused to stay down. He would keep coming at her until one of them was dead.
A flash of white ran past her, and she watched as Azura swung her naginata, hitting Takumi over the head with the flat edge of the blade. He stumbled back, his bow slipping from his grasp as he fell over the edge into the river below. It was not a long fall, nor was the water very deep, but still Nerr jumped over the edge as well in a panic. The prince was lying face down in the water, unmoving. She grabbed him under the arms and heaved him back up to the bank, where Azura slid down to meet her. The look of fear on her face was heart wrenching.
"Takumi? Takumi, speak to me! Oh gods, I'm so sorry...!" Slowly, he opened his eyes, coughing weakly. When he noticed who his savior was, he began struggling, though his efforts were not enough to break free of Nerr's rather tentative grasp.
"Get away from me... Nohrians... It's not fair... I'm so much... stronger now... How could this... happen..." He slumped against her, out cold once more. Nerr dragged him further up the bank, laying him down on the more solid dirt.
"We don't have time to look after him, Azura. We have to deal with the rest of the rebels." With great difficulty, the singer tore her gaze away from her brother and nodded, still looking grim.
The pincer formation the rebels and Hoshidans had tried against Nerr's companions had turned against them, for now that they were split into two groups, the Nohrian troops were using the same tactic. She could see her elder sister and butler dueling with another Hoshidan mage, a woman with purple hair done up in some complex style. She had little time to see how they were faring, for a group of cavaliers rode out to meet them as her group made it's way across the river. Judging by their bright red armor, they weren't part of her regiment. She struck out at one, trying to avoid the serrated edge of his beastkiller lance. As she raised her arm again to try and knock the halberd from his hand, an arrow shot through the air, from the sky- from nowhere- piercing her splinted vambrace and lodging itself deep in her arm. Nerr cried out, dropping her sword. Had Arthur not been standing right behind her, she would've been skewered through the back next.
The princess dropped down to one knee, her jaw clenched tightly in pain as she tried to survey the damage done. She could see the strangely curved head of a Hoshidan arrow, dyed crimson with her blood, poking through one end of her forearm, the fletching sticking from the other. Blood streamed freely down her arm, sinking between the grooves of her armor. She groaned in pain, looking around both for Elise and the cursed archer who'd shot her. Elise was busy patching up Charlotte, who's expanses of bare skin were covered in blood- a good deal of it hers, judging by the deep gashes she bore. As for the archer, that soon became clear as a deafening screech echoed above her and a huge beast landed on the ground. Nerr had never seen anything like it- it was a bird, with brilliant gold plumage that seemed to glow in the darkness, but it was massive, the size of a gelding. It spread it's wings, the length of two men, and screeched again. It's rider jumped off the saddle, her robes gray rather than the standard Hoshidan red, and notched another arrow.
"Oh my. Was it you who gave that lovely scream? It was beautiful... Will you do it again?" She let loose her arrow, but this time, Nerr dodged, crying out as her weight landed on her wounded arm. "Awww... That one wasn't nearly as good."
"You lunatic! Who are you?"
"Yuugiri-san?" Azura's voice was unusually timid as she took a half step forward. The woman lowered her bow a bit. She was older than most of the Hoshidan soldiers, looking at least in her forties based on the creases around her lips and eyes. Two large scars, intersecting between her eyes to form an 'X', stood out vividly against her pale skin, the flesh jagged and pulled tight. She would've been beautiful had she not been splattered in a fine mist of blood... and smiling serenely all the while.
"Azura-sama? Gods, we've all been wondering what's happened to you."
"...some of the soldiers dragged me back to Nohr when they came over."
"Well, that's unacceptable. Point them out to me and I'll make sure to discipline them. You must've been terrified, princess, but you're safe now. Come over here; I'll protect you." It was all surreal to Nerr, though that might've been partially because the pain throbbing in her arm kept her from focusing her attention.
"Azura, who is this crazy woman?!"
"...This is Yuugiri, Nerr. Empress Mikoto's retainer."
" 'Nerr'?" It was the older woman's turn to be confused. "Nerrida-sama?" She squinted her eyes for a better look, then smiled. "It is you... I didn't recognize you in the dark, with your face contorted in agony. It's such a pretty face too, just like our beloved, fallen empress..."
"Well, now that you know who I am, lay down your weapon so we can end this peacefully."
"Oh no, I'm afraid that's impossible." Yuugiri raised her bow once more, her smile never leaving her face. Felicia smiled like that when she was folding laundry, the vacant smile one wore when doing something they enjoyed. "You're still a traitor. If your mother were alive, she would order us to spare you... but you killed her. Now, Orochi and myself follow Takumi-sama's orders, and he wants you dead. So sorry. But don't worry- I'll grant you the most divine death... You might even see Mikoto-sama before you go to Hell. Just promise you'll scream for me again..."
She pulled back on her bowstring, taking aim right between Nerr's eyes. At the last moment, she jerked, her back arching in pain and sending her arrow flying off somewhere in the treetops. As she fell to her knees, Nerr saw Jakob running up to them, one of his knives clenched tightly in his hand. When Yuugiri struggled to get back to her feet, the steward kicked her hard between the shoulder blades, sending her sprawling in the dirt. The handle of a poniard was visible just below her right shoulder, the blade sunk deep into her flesh, staining her gray robes red around the wound. Jakob stopped in front of Nerr, panting, with his hair mussed and clothes singed.
"Milady, are you alri- Gods, no, you're not alright!" He pulled her to her feet by her good arm. Still lying in the dirt, the older woman laughed bitterly, cringing as she tried to roll over to her good side. Jakob kicked her sharply in the ribs, the sudden blow causing her to go limp in pain.
"Such a pity..." She sighed, her words muffled by the dust. "I was looking forward... to watching the light leave your eyes..." Shuddering in disgust, Nerr hurried past her, jumping as her mammoth bird pecked at her. Once she felt somewhat safe, cloistered away in one of the alleys between two houses, she reached for the arrow in her arm. Just brushing her fingers against it set her nerves aflame, but she knew it would not heal until there was nothing obstructing the wound.
The princess grasped the head, still tacky with her drying blood, and began pulling. Slowly, centimeter by torturous centimeter, the shaft moved forward, scraping against her muscles and tendons, drawing a scream from her throat despite her best efforts to remain silent. The worst part was the fletching, which tore the wound open even wider, but eventually, even that came out. Panting, Nerr threw the bloodied arrow as far away from her as she could. Her vision was swimming, her head throbbed, and her stomach was churning. Without warning, she doubled over, heaving. The vomit splattered on the dusty ground, splashing onto her bare feet, but she could do nothing to stop it. She continued retching until her stomach felt concave. Groaning, she stumbled back out of the alley, almost running headlong into Jakob.
"Milady, there you are! Gods, you mustn't run away from me! I turn away for two seconds and you- ...what's happened? You look terrible." She fixed him with a hard stare.
"... I've been shot, and I just finished vomiting. Believe me, Jakob, I don't exactly feel pretty."
"Oh. M-my apologies, Lady Nerr. Of course; I'm being very insensitive." Keeping his eyes downcast, the butler set to work healing her. Nerr could barely focus on the burning of her wounds closing, for every part of her, inside and out, felt scraped raw. A door creaked, almost too loudly over the din of fighting in the distance, and she turned, heart racing. A young girl, not even her age, stood in the doorway, wearing her nightclothes and holding a candle.
"What's going on?" She asked, sleepily. "Who're you?"
"...the Nohrian army." Nerr answered simply, waiting to see if this was a trap. Would Chevois rebels start pouring from the door? Would the girl produce a tome and try to immolate her where she stood? The girl simply rubbed her eyes, clearly having just been woken.
"Visitors from the Nohrian army? This late? Oh dear, you must be ever so tired. Would you like to come in?" The princess choked on her shock. Either this girl thought they were stupid enough to fall for such an obvious trap, or she was the stupid one and didn't understand the situation at hand. Jakob put her thoughts into effortless words.
"Surely you realize, girl, that we are here doing battle with the Chevois rebels. Unless you yourself are a rebel, and think us fools..."
"What? No!" Suddenly awake, the girl backed away, shaking her head fervently. "The rebels may feel differently, but the people of Chevalier are loyal to the crown!"
"Sarah? What is all this racket?" Another person stepped into the doorway, an old man, perhaps the girl's father. She turned to him, her eyes wide in fear.
"The Nohrian army is here! They think I'm one of the rebels!" The old man narrowed his eyes and limped out into the street, leaning heavily on his walking stick. He fixed his hard gaze on Nerr, and she took a step back, despite the fact that such a feeble old man couldn't hurt her if he tried.
"...My daughter has nothing to do with those fool rebels. My family and I know full well that it is useless to try and fight the Nohrian army, princess. Sarah. Go get my lance."
"But father-"
"Now." Biting her lip, the girl dashed back inside, returning a moment later carrying a lance with a beautifully gilded blade. She handed it to her father, who in turn pressed it into Nerr's hands. "Consider this a sign of our loyalty. It served me well when I was a soldier; hopefully, it will help end this horrid chapter of the war quickly..." The princess held the lance, her bemusement freezing her in place. Still, confused as ever, her manners were not forgotten.
"Thank you, sir. I'll, uh... see that it ends up in capable hands."
"Thank me by not using it to spill blood. Sell it, throw it away for all I care. I've long since given up any hope of King Garon learning to rule with compassion, but it might not be too late for his children..." With that, the old man hobbled back into his house. His daughter stood for a second, before dipping into a clumsy curtsy and dashing back inside after him.
"Well... that was unexpected."
"But pleasantly so. Come, milady, we should get back to the others. It would not do to be caught unawares when we're alone. Perhaps Effie can make use of that lance- it seems sturdy, and hers looks ready to snap in half."
Nerr followed Jakob as he began a brisk pace back through the narrow alleys, silent as she recalled the old man's entreaty not to use his weapon to spill any more blood. That was what she was trying to do, but it was so frustrating when her enemies responded to her perceived weakness by trying to kill her. Even her mother's retainer. What would her mother say if she knew what was going on? If she were somehow looking down on the events as they unfolded? Maybe she would just say Nerr had brought it on herself by not siding with Hoshido; the empress certainly hadn't been sympathetic with her desire to return to Nohr.
They were just about to leave one of the alleys and step into the open when Nerr stopped, grabbing Jakob's arm and pulling him back. A wyvern lord had just flown past them, and she could see the bloodied head of an ax glinting from their hip. It wasn't until the swishing that accompanied the dragon's wings had faded substantially that she peeked her head out. She could see her comrades in the distance, and also that the rebel soldier was headed straight for them. An angry woman's voice yelled out to them.
"I won't let the king oppress my people any longer! For freedom!" She drove her dragon headlong into the crowd, swinging her bloody ax wildly. Most of the soldiers managed to dodge, but Effie was no so lucky. Her armor bore the brunt of the attack, but judging by the way she cried out, she still felt it. She managed to retaliate it, throwing a javelin at the rebel leader. It missed it's intended target, but struck the wyvern she rode in the wing. Even as she ran towards them, Nerr could hear the wyvern's bones cracking. It fell to the ground with a loud screech of pain, thrashing about as it's rider scrambled away to keep from getting crushed. Even thrown, she refused to drop her weapon, and she charged at Effie once more. Nerr reached for her dragonstone, allowing herself to transform mid-run.
"Scarlet!" She called out, distracting the woman just long enough to reach her, hereupon she struck her hard across the middle with her tail. The rebel was sent flying, and before she could even struggle to get up, the princess stepped on her arm, keeping her from reaching for her ax. "This is it, Scarlet. Even now, the Nohrian army is subduing the last stragglers of your 'revolution'. It's over. You've lost." The woman below her breathed hard, and through her clenched teeth by the sound of it.
"Though I fall here," She seethed. "Chevalier will never bow down. Ten more will take my place."
"You need not fall at all. Do not let my brother fill your head with lies. I've come here to speak with you, civilly if at all possible. I've already negotiated an alliance with the Ice Tribe-"
"Then they were weak. I don't negotiate with murders!"
"If I am a murderer, how is it you are still alive? Stupid girl..." Nerr let herself return to her normal form, stomping on Scarlet's hand with her heel for good measure. "You stay there, fool, until you're ready to act your age and speak to me like a mature adult."
Camilla and Elise opted to go ensure the rest of the army did not hurt the rebels, or Hoshidans, taking their retainers with them. Azura and Nerr were left alone, and the Nohrian princess leaned against one of the thick walls, sliding down it.
"You look exhausted, Nerr."
"If that's the only thing that seems wrong with me, it's a miracle. I got shot today, for the gods' sake."
"I thought getting shot was a regular occurrence with you, it happens so often..." There was a hint of humor in Azura's voice, but as Nerr looked up at her, she could see that the other girl's dusty face was worn, tumultuous emotions playing out behind her golden eyes. She sighed, running her hands through her hair that was, once again, coming loose. It wasn't like her training days back at the citadel, where her ponytail would stay up all day long, no matter how many laps she ran. She had tried to tie it up the way she assumed Flora had, but it just didn't work. Jakob and even Camilla had offered to do it for her, but she declined. How could she lead anyone in battle if she couldn't even tie her own hair? Fortunately, her hairpin remained firmly in place, and as she let her fingers brush it's cold surface, a pang of misery clenched her stomach.
"We need to keep the rebels somewhere until we can talk to them in the morning. I can't imagine how tired our soldiers must be."
"Camilla said there are dungeons in the palace. She's going to tell the soldiers to take them in there."
"There you are... my fake sisters..." Both women started at the sound of Takumi's hateful voice, and turned to see the young prince staggering towards them. His clothes were drenched and muddy, and there was a nasty purple bruise on the side of his head. Nerr got back on her feet, unsheathing her sword. Her brother didn't look like he was capable of putting up a fight, but she couldn't be too sure with him.
"Takumi..."
"Shut up! Shut up, don't speak to me! How..." He began muttering to himself again. "How could I lose...? Not again... It's not right...!" The Nohrian princess sighed deeply, return Yato to it's sheathe.
"It's over, Takumi. You can't keep fighting. Return to Hoshido with your troops- I'll give my soldiers the order to let your people go-"
"No!" He shrieked, a wild look in his eyes. "I don't need your pity, you inhuman savage! Dammit! Why?! Why can't I beat you?! You abandoned Hoshido... stood by and watched Mother die... betrayed us all- it's your fault everyone turned on that bitch Azura! ...why can't I have the justice I deserve...?!" He leaned against the wall, sobbing bitterly. Azura slowly approached him, reaching out as if to take him in her arms.
"Takumi-kun... It'll be alright..."
"Get away from me!" He snapped, slapping out at her. "Don't touch me, Nohrian! You're just as bad as her. You didn't even try to come back; you didn't miss us at all. You were glad to return to your savage, real family!"
"Takumi... you are my real family. You always have been. Please..." Once again, she reached out to him, but he dodged her, slipping around to the other side and backing out towards the city gates. He glared at Nerr one last time.
"You're right; I will return to Hoshido. But when next we meet, things will be different. Next time, things have to be different! I'll never forgive you, Nerrida. I won't rest until I've killed you myself. Someday soon, I'll make you pay for your sins, you and your traitorous sister. I swear on my mother's grave!"
With that, he ran out the gates, disappearing into the shadows. Nerr watched him go, feeling hollow, but a quiet sniffle drew her attention back to Azura. She stood still, having watched her brother flee as well. Though she showed little emotion, Nerr could see the tears dripping down her cheeks in the light of the torches mounted on the wall, cutting twin trails through the dust and grime. Sighing silently, she walked over to the other girl, drawing her into a tight embrace. The singer remained still and stiff, trying to contain her tears, but they still dripped onto Nerr's neck. She reached up, smoothing the long lazuline hair beneath the silk veil the princess wore, the way she would've with Elise.
"It's alright, Azura. He's just mad at me; don't take anything he says to you to heart. When this war is over, you'll be a family again, I promise. It'll be like you were never apart..."
"...that is not the Takumi I remember. That's not my brother." The Nohrian princess pulled back slightly, frowning in confusion. Though her cheeks were still wet, a strange emotion had overtaken the sorrow in Azura's eyes.
"What are you talking about, Azura?"
"Takumi never accepted me as his sister like the others, but he was always kind. He never embraced me, but he never pushed me away, either. This isn't like him; he's not the kind of person to raise his voice, much less swear a vendetta on someone. It's like... it's like he's a completely different person." Nerr remained silent for a long time, letting those facts sink into her mind.
"Well, isn't he like this now because he's angry? And rightfully so, I might add. He said it himself- his mother is dead, her killer betrayed them for the enemy, you're gone... When one has to choose between sorrow and anger, anger is always the easier choice." Azura drew away, wrapping her arms around herself as she looked to the east, undoubtedly trying to see the mountains that led to Hoshido in the distance.
"That's probably what it is, but still... something doesn't add up. This is more than a grudge- he's hell-bent on Nohr's destruction. The Takumi I grew up with would never dream of hurting a child, Nohrian or otherwise. This Takumi... he's crazed."
"I agree, but there's nothing we can do about it now. He's going to have to work out his issues on his own. We need to find the others so we can-" A loud, drawn out shriek cut through the chilled night air, sending the birds sleeping in some nearby trees scattering. Once more, Nerr reached for her blade. "What the hell was that?! Another attack?!" The scream came again, or a different one, this one higher.
"It's getting louder! I think it's coming from the town square!" Azura pointed
to where the glow of torches had congregated, casting a bright glow over the nearby houses.
"What in the...? Come on, Azura- we need to see what's going on."
000
Nerr had run full stop towards the center of town, outpacing Azura, but froze as she drew close enough to see what was going on. A large group of the Nohrian soldiers had closed in on a group of Chevois, some of them wearing the crimson armor of the rebels, others in their nightclothes. The soldiers held their lances, thrusting them at the terrified people, forcing them back and, inevitably, right into the steel head of another lance. Having tired of their game, the soldiers began stabbing at the people in earnest, their cruel laughter mingling with the cries of fear and pain, blood splashing onto the stones at their feet. All around, more groups of soldiers were doing the same. Bodies in Hoshidan robes lay prone in the streets, some not even very bloody but dirty instead, as if they'd been stepped on. Repeatedly. A woman in gray, her long hair coming undone, had fallen to the side, her neck bent at an uncomfortable angle. An impossible angle, blank eyes looking back over her shoulder.
Some of the people, rebels and normal civilians alike, managed to slip past their tormentors, running towards the doors of the houses that surrounded, pounding on them desperately, crying to the people inside, "Please! Let us in! Gods have mercy, save us!" But there was no mercy to be found, for more soldiers descended upon them, driving their lances into the people's backs and wrenching them out, spraying blood across the doors that stayed bolted shut. One of the captives, a boy who looked close to Leo's age, had scrambled blindly on his hands and knees across the corpses of his neighbors, running without sense or reason in a desperate attempt to escape the carnage. He ran headfirst into Hans, once again donning his leather and wolf pelts, once again drenched in blood. He grabbed the boy by the hair, whipping him around. Without thinking, Nerr ran forward.
"Hans! You bastard, stop this at once! What do you think you're doing?!" He actually stopped, still holding the boy by the hair, looking like a child who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He smiled at her, the reassuring effect he was going for ruined by the dried blood flaking off his bald head.
"Don't worry, milady; I'm saving some of these rats for you. You're just in time to help us clean up the trash that started this rebellion." She reached out and backhanded him. Hard. Hard enough to send him stumbling, though his grip on the poor boy did not lessen.
"You would go against my orders again? And this time, drag the whole of our standing army down with you!? Dastard! There's only one rat here that needs to be exterminated, and I'm going to do that right now!" She leveled her blade with his chest, not caring if the other soldiers saw; rather, let that be a message to them all. The warrior backed away, the fearful look once again in his eyes. Nerr found that she rather liked it- it was the only thing she liked about the horrid man.
"Wh-what are you doing, princess?! I'm doing what I'm supposed to; we were sent to stop the rebellion, and we're stopping it!"
"Half of those people you're slaughtering are innocent civilians! They're not even soldiers! Stop it, stop it, all of you!" She shrieked at the solders, but they would not listen, either blatantly ignoring her or else, too caught up in the pleasure of killing to pay attention. Hans chuckled slightly, until a withering glare shut him up.
"You're too naïve, princess. A civilian's just a soldier that hasn't picked up a sword yet. If we let them live, they'll swear revenge on us."
"They'd have no reason to swear revenge if you'd listened to me in the first place! I ordered that we not kill them once they were defeated! Damn you all, every last one of you! As a princess of Nohr, I'm ordering you to drop your blades and let these people go!" For a moment, Nerr could see a look of pure hatred flash on Hans' face before he remembered she was still aiming her sword right at his heart, and he wore no armor to soften the blow. He swallowed hard, but did not lower his ax or let the boy he had captured loose, paying his desperate squirming no mind.
"Forgive me, milady, but my orders come straight from King Garon. You may be a princess, and our commander, but the king's word is law." Nerr felt as if she had been struck, taking a step back.
"Father ordered you..." It wasn't possible, and yet... of course it was. Hans nodded heavily, and she knew it was taking every ounce of his self control to keep from crowing.
"He did. My apologies. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to wrap this up so we can go home." Before she could say another word, he swung his ax. The finely honed edge cut through the youth's side, tearing him open. He hardly had time to scream before his spine was severed, blood spraying as organs ruptured and arteries were split. The hot, coppery liquid hit Nerr full in the face, soaking into her hair, her clothes, everywhere. She was so aghast that she could not move, not even close her mouth which had fallen open in horror, the taste of blood blooming on her tongue as it dripped from her lips. The boy was nearly cut in two, his torso connected to his legs by a few strands of flesh and tendons. His entrails has slipped out, slimy purple ropes stark against the lumpy yellow fat exposed through his skin. They sloshed onto the ground as Hans dropped his corpse face first into his own guts. The blood had begun to spread over the cobblestones, but she didn't even notice it pooling under her toes. The metallic tang stuck in her throat. Looking up, the older man smirked.
"Feel free to find somewhere quieter to rest until the dirty work is over, milady." He turned on his heel and charged at another unlucky villager, cutting an arm off before hacking her to pieces. Nerr remained where she was, unmoving, unfeeling. A hand gripped her shoulder and led her away. She followed, not knowing who the person was that was leading her, or where they were going, but not caring about either.
"I'm so sorry, dearest." Camilla's voice seemed to come from the end of a long tunnel. "I wish things could've been different. I tried to order the soldiers to halt their attack too, but they all said the same thing- Father ordered this. I've already sent Elise and Azura to the palace- they're waiting for us with the others, they don't need to bear witness to this travesty. ...they've already killed the injured Hoshidan soldiers. And the rebel leader, what was her name, Scarlet? Well... the less that's said about what they did to her, the better. I suppose they meant to make an example out of her."
"...she might've listened." Nerr could still taste the coppery tang of blood in her mouth not yet washed away by saliva, the blood of innocents, blood of people to who's doorstep she had brought war and destruction. She hadn't even thought to try and spit it out. "If I'd had a chance, I could've talked to her... but now... Why, Camilla?" She stopped walking and turned to face her sister, seeing nothing but a vague, lilac blur. "Who wants to live in a world where a precious, innocent life is destroyed on a whim? Is this the world that Father wants? Why? I can't understand it. I can understand him trying to kill Hoshidans, even me, but Chevalier is a Nohrian territory; how can he slaughter his own people? How is this right? Is there no justice in the world?" The sisterly shape reached out, swiping her thumb over Nerr's cheek.
"I know you're upset darling, but we need to head back. It wouldn't do to keep Father waiting. I'll summon a messenger once I get you settled at the palace."
"Camilla, how can you be so calm about this?!" She couldn't stop herself from screaming. She knew her sister shouldn't be the target of her anger, but at the moment, everyone and everything in the world seemed to exacerbate her fury. "Why are you not upset?! Do you agree with him? Do you think we should just kill anything that gets in our way, not even try to discuss options and compromises? You do, don't you? That's why you're always so quick to try and kill my Hoshidan siblings. What is wrong with you? Why are you like this, who are you?! Where's the sister that used to sing me lullabies and bring me cookies? What have you done with her?!" Camilla was quiet as Nerr struggled to get her breathing under control. The older woman drew her into a tight hug, paying no mind to the fact that she was covered in blood.
"I'm sorry, Nerr. I'm so sorry... I'm still that sister. But I have to be like this. This is how we all are, because it was the only way to survive. We had to be willing to kill our brothers and sisters, because if we didn't, they would've killed us. And as much as it pains me to say it, you must be like this as well, Nerr. The goodness and kindness within you will only lead to your death. You must turn your heart into stone, dearest; otherwise, the pain and misery will drive you to madness. That is the only answer I have for you, because I don't understand Father's reasons any more than you do. ...I rarely do anymore. What I do understand is that he won't hesitate to kill us; that is simply how kings are. He may care for us, he may even love us, but he will allow nothing to stand between him and his goals. So if you value your life like I do... you must bury your feelings. At least for now."
Nerr knew she was right, and as such, did not struggle as her sister led her down to the palace. The torches had been lit, providing sufficient light in the dark chambers for everyone to see her as she entered, all of them crying out at once, inquiring as to what happened. She couldn't speak, walking mutely over to the furthest corner of the room and sitting down. The princess drew her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them. She could still hear the screaming of the villagers being slaughtered outside, and knew she would forever hear it in her mind.
000000000000
A/N- Honestly, I'm sure most people hate this chapter in the game because it cements Nohr as the Evil League of Evil, but I actually like it. What a lot of people like to skim over because it's not pleasant and doesn't ken with our modern values is that "rape-and-pillage" was actually the standard of medieval warfare- burning the farms and killing the peasants of the enemy was a better tactic than getting your soldiers killed in actual combat. Knights were not chivalrous and upstanding like we imagine them- they were more like drunken frat boy rapists who could get away with anything because they were in the service of kings and nobles. Hans, for all his horridness, is actually a pretty realistic depiction of an actual medieval knight. Playing games like 'Friendship Wars'- er, 'Fire Emblem Fates' makes it easy to forget that the point of war is to destroy the people who are standing between you and what you want. And I know, I know; you're all probably thinking, "why doesn't Nerr start up a secret rebellion against Garon now that she sees what he's really like?!" Well... for the same reason you're not running out to take on ISIS; they're bigger, badder and way scarier than you, and if they realize you're starting shit against them, they're probably going to kill you. One person can not do anything against a kingdom but become a martyr.
Now, an appeal to my beloved reviewers; I appreciate every and all the reviews I've gotten, but please try to keep something in mind before you go bashing Nerr; she's not omnipotent nor omniscient. She does not know things she has no way of knowing (ie, what is revealed in 'Revelation'), she does not know how everyone feels and the reasons for their actions, she does not have the power to deal with everything or even most things that occur in her daily life- she is one very depressed and hopeless individual struggling with things that are out of her control. She knows how she feels, and occasionally, her emotions blind her to how other people might be feeling. Just like how when you get in an argument with someone and you're not thinking about their side of things, so too does Nerr not think about Ryouma and Takumi and Azura's feelings when she's upset. You might call someone who isn't always nice and thoughtful regardless of the circumstances a jerk; I call them human. I thought this came across through my writing, but I guess I overestimated my literary prowess, sorry. And one last note, to the people saying Nerr's fights are one sided (you know who you are, but I don't sadly, otherwise I wouldn't be addressing you in the Author's Note), could you please explain why you think that so I can try and revise my work to make her less of a "Mary Sue"? Because the way I see it, getting a sucker punch in while other people deal the killing blow isn't curb stomping (it's actually how I play 'Fates'). There is nothing more loathsome than a Marry Sue, but I've kinda got blinders on what with being the writer, so I need your help understanding what I'm doing wrong.
