*NOTES*
Please leave comments and let me know what you think!
Again thank you to my friend Kimby (twitter: kimbyinprogress) for helping me outline this chapter!
Chapter 8
Sectionals was just around the corner and everyone was buzzing with excitement. Mr. Schue finally decided to let some other people besides Rachel and Finn sing solos and Juliet could not be more proud of Santana being picked as one of them. Her sultry voice fit perfectly in "Valerie" and with Brittany and Mike's sweet dance moves, there was no way they were not going to win!
"As far as costumes go, we were thinking simple." Tina addressed the rest of the club. "The guys wear maroon long sleeve button downs with black pants, and for the girls we have something like this." She held up a sleeveless black and white dress that stopped right around the knees. "Black leggings would go underneath, mostly for Brittany's sake because of all the flips her and Mike are doing."
Brittany fist pumped into the air and smiled. The rest of the club murmured agreement, no one really seemed to care much. Juliet felt her stomach twist into knots. The last time she wore a dress was the Sadie Hawkin's dance in 6th grade because her mom made her ask some kid from Sunday School. It was then she vowed to never have to wear one again. She figured by her wedding day, her mom was going to know she was gay one way or another so the whole 'not wearing a dress thing' might be lower down on the list of things she would care about.
Mercedes glanced over at Juliet. "Hey Jules, you okay? You look a bit green."
Juliet looked around the room, wondering if she should even attempt to bring this up. One smile from Santana gave her all the courage she needed. She raised her hand. "Mr. Schue? I have a question."
He motioned for her to continue. "I was curious if...would anyone have an issue with me maybe, wearing the guys version of the costume instead of uh...instead of the dress?"
The room went quiet for a couple beats.
"Um, why?" Quinn broke the silence.
Juliet fidgeted nervously in her seat. "I just don't feel comfortable in dresses."
Mr. Schue sat down in his chair. "Well Juliet, we have already choreographed some of the numbers to match the outfits for guys and girls. I'm not sure..."
"I think J could rock it." Brittany spoke up. Juliet glanced down the row to see Brittany hold her fist up in solidarity. She raised her eyebrow in confusion but smiled back at Britt none the less.
"I guess since Kurt is gone, it would make the outfits more even. Wouldn't it?" Sam looked to Mr. Schue for confirmation. Next to Sam, Finn started quietly counting on his fingers to see if he was right.
Mr. Schue opened his mouth to speak but Artie cut in. "She already has the short haircut. I don't think it would look weird."
Juliet was about to say something about how the short haircut really had no correlation, but decided not to argue against the person sticking up for her.
Santana spoke up. "I mean, did we all forget that Kurt had been known to wear a skirt or kilt to school a time or two. This is no different."
Juliet smiled softly at Santana.
"That was never for a performance though Santana -" Mr. Schue started to argue back.
"All in favor of Juliet wearing the button down at sectionals raise your hand." Santana interrupted him as she put her hand up and looked around the room. Everyone raised their hand except Quinn, who gave in a couple seconds later with an eye roll.
"That settles that." Santana crossed her arms and looked at Mr. Schue with her bitch face expression on.
Mr. Schue shrugged, defeated. "I can't fight with the majority. Juliet talk to Tina after practice about the logistics."
Juliet grinned and nodded as she glanced at Santana who winked at her (oh was she going to get quite the thank you after school). This was turning out to be her best year yet.
Santana flipped her textbook upside-down see if that would help make any more sense of it all, she looked over at Juliet who seems to be dwarfed on her bed covered in papers.
"I don't see the need for this Chemistry homework anyways. We all know I'm going to become some super hot famous model, everyone will worship me, and the scientific method will be the farthest thing from my mind." Santana shut the textbook and leaned back to put her feet up on Juliet's desk. The two of them were trying to get all of their assignments done before the weekend, so at sectionals they wouldn't have to worry.
"Babe come on, we have to finish this stuff. Mr. Herman will kill you if you don't turn in another worksheet, and you're not going to want to do it on Sunday night." Juliet got off her bed and massaged Santana's shoulders as she sat in the desk chair.
She leaned down and whispered into her ear from behind. "I could take a break and teach you about a different kind of chemistry through. I never did truly thank you for how you spoke up in glee for me."
Santana snorted but couldn't stop a grin from breaking through. She leaned her head back so she looked at Juliet upside-down. "You're the cheesiest. But that's kinda why I like you." She gripped the back of Juliet's neck and pulled her in for their version of the upside-down Spiderman kiss.
Juliet giggled and when they broke Santana turned around and looked up with a coy smile. Juliet tugged at the collar of her cheerios jacket, which caused Santana to rise up from the chair and take her girlfriends hand. She led them towards the bed, and pulled Juliet in close
.
"Speaking of glee, you're going to look so hot in that outfit on stage." She leaned back against the edge of the mattress, teased her lips close to Juliet's and whispered. "And don't think you can best me on chemistry, we all know I'm the expert of this kind." She gave her a small wink before she moved her lips down her neck. Juliet groaned.
A quick faint knock on the bedroom door jolted them apart milliseconds before Juliet's mom, Josslyn, entered. Juliet quickly wiped her neck and ran her fingers through her hair before her Mom noticed anything.
"Hey Juliet." She looked over at Santana for half a second before she focused back on her daughter. "It's getting late, I think Santana should head home now."
"Mom, it's like 5pm. We have a bunch of homework left." Juliet grumbled.
"You'll see each other tomorrow at the competition. Dinner will be ready soon. Have a good night Santana." Josslyn stood in the doorway and waited for one of them to start moving.
"Um, yeah Mrs. Sanders you're right it's kind of late. Let me just grab my bag and I'll see you tomorrow J." Santana quickly shoved her textbook into her backpack and jolted down the stairs.
"Mom what was that? You used to invite Santana to stay for dinner." Juliet crossed her arms and sat on her bed.
Josslyn came fully into her room and shut the door. "I think you and that girl have been spending too much time together lately. All I ever hear is "Santana this, and Santana that." What happened to your friend Aubrey from tennis? She was so well rounded. I swear Santana lives in that cheerleading uniform." She paused. "Are there any boys you've been interested in?"
Juliet tried her hardest to suppress an eyeroll. Her mother was relentless. "Mom, she's my friend. You already told me we couldn't hang out without a parent in the house but even when we do you kick her out!"
Josslyn put her hand on her daughters knee. "Well, I also wanted to talk to you about something."
Juliet froze, her mind started running a million miles a minute. There's no way she figured anything out right? She thought she had been pretty good at deflection.
"I've been trying to change my work shift this weekend but so far I haven't been able to get out of working on Saturday night. I was offered to switch for Sunday morning but, you know that's a time for church so I couldn't do that." She pursed her lips together as if she had been agonizing over this for the past week.
Juliet breathed a sigh of relief, she hadn't thought her Mom would be interested in going anyways. This was perfect, she didn't have to come up with an explanation as to why she wasn't wearing what the rest of the girls were.
"That's okay, I understand. What about dad?"
"Your father had already pledged his time with Pastor Jeff to do outreach on Saturday night." Josslyn looked down. "I am so sorry hun. I want to go cheer you on, and see you in those lovely little outfits the show choir's always wear. I will make sure I can come to your next one." Josslyn squeezed Juliet's knee as she stood up and walked over to the closet.
"Yeah, maybe the next one." Juliet shrugged.
Josslyn opened the closet door. "I was thinking maybe you could show me the dress you're wearing for the competition? Try it on for me?"
Juliet jumped up and went to stand in front of the door, not wanting her Mom to see the real outfit that was hanging up. "Um, you know Mom, Mr. Schue brings them to the venue so none of us accidently spill on them or something on our way there." Juliet nodded and thought about how that was a pretty solid cover up.
Josslyn sighed and looked upset. Juliet felt a twinge of sadness, she didn't realize her Mother would care so much about missing her performance.
"Well, I have a picture of the dress on my phone?" She offered, pulling her phone out of her pocket. She scrolled through her album shielding her Mom's eyes from some of the racier pics Santana had texted. She selected the photo, regretting in that moment that of course the only one she had was Santana posing in the dress from when they all tried on the outfits.
"Oh, it looks very cute. Do you have any of you in the dress?" Josslyn tried to scroll through the photos but Juliet yanked her phone away.
"Sorry Mom, that was the only one I got. But all the outfits look really great." She forced a smile on her face. "I kind of need to finish up this homework before the weekend starts, can you just holler up the stairs when dinner is ready?"
Josslyn nodded, but before she turned around to leave she put a hand on Juliet's shoulder. "You'll do great tomorrow, make me proud." With that, she walked out the room and shut the door behind her.
Juliet let out a sigh of relief that she hadn't realized she was holding in.
The morning of sectionals had arrived and Juliet was a bundle of nerves. She had never performed in front of so many people before, nobody ever really came to her tennis matches so this was a whole new territory. Her phone chimed from her desk.
SL: Romeo where for art thou? I wanna see you lookin sexxaayyyyy
Juliet rolled her eyes but grinned, she typed back a response.
JS: OMW, I'm gonna change at Britt's so my mom doesn't see. be there asap :P
Juliet grabbed her outfit from the closet and ran downstairs to find the bag she packed the rest of her stuff in. Her house was eerily quiet, she thought her Mom would be around somewhere but noticed her keys were gone from the hook. She must be working a long shift. She glanced at the clock in the kitchen and realized she told Santana she would be there 15 minutes ago. Whoops! She raced out the door.
"Hello!" Brittany threw open the front door of her house with such gusto she could've ripped it off the frame.
"Hey Britt." Juliet stepped inside and looked around. She had never actually been to Brittany's house before, it was really nice. A tiny dachshund puppy yipped at her as she took her shoes off.
"Aww!" Juliet bent down to pet the little guy. "Brittany your house is amazing, it's so big and grand!"
Brittany smiled and shrugged. "Thanks, that's what I like to remind my Mom when she complains about the strays I bring home. I mean, just look at these guys, how could you not!" She bent down and scratched the scraggly head of a different, bigger dog who was laying in a very small cat bed. She glanced behind her where a rather large cat strutted down the hallway, then leaned in towards Juliet and whispered, "Really its Lord Tubbington that's the softie but if the strays hear that, it will ruin his street cred."
Just then Quinn came down the stairs and froze in her tracks for a moment. "Oh, hi Juliet." She turned to Brittany. "I thought only the unholy trinity got ready for competitions together. Since when did that change?"
"Oh get laid already Quinn, stop being such a stick in the mud." Santana busted around the corner and hopped down the stairs behind her. She gave a cheeky little wave to Juliet and grinned.
"We couldn't throw poor Juliet over to Rachel's house to get ready could we? That's just downright mean." She hip checked Quinn as she passed her on the stairs and jumped over the last step with a little spin.
Quinn rolled her eyes. "Jeez, who put uppers in your coffee this morning." She looked back over at Juliet. "Alright well, hurry up and change we are supposed to be leaving soon to catch the bus at school."
Brittany pointed her in the direction of the bathroom and Juliet quickly slid into her button up and black trousers. She patted down a wrinkle in the front and stared at herself in the mirror with a smile.
"Come on J, show us what you look like!" Santana hollered through the door.
Juliet took one last deep breath and came out of the door with a little twirl.
"Ta-da! Does it look okay?" She turned around in a circle so they could all see the full effect.
Brittany and Santana beamed. "So cute!" Brittany clapped excitedly.
"Very suave." Santana winked at her.
Quinn stood there with her arms crossed. "I mean, you do look good. But you're just going to blend in with all the boys so what's the difference."
Brittany nudged Quinn so she would stop talking. "You're our super special unicorn Juliet!"
Juliet blushed. "Okay guys, lets go kick some ass!"
The girls all grabbed their things and bounced out the door to Brittany's car. Juliet felt her phone vibrate while Santana visibly tried to keep a straight face.
SL: delicious, I cant wait till this is over and I can rip all those buttons right off that shirt
Juliet's face turned beet red and she tried to hide a smile. Quinn glanced over with an eyebrow raised.
"Got a secret boy toy texting you there J?" Quinn leaned over to try and peak at Juliet's phone.
Juliet shoved it back into her pocket. "No, that was just uh, Kurt wishing us good luck! It's hot in this car, no? Britt can we roll a window down?"
"Oh my god, this song is my jam!" Santana turned up the radio to change the subject as Brittany rolled down the windows. The four girls danced and sang along all the way to school; they were so ready to win.
Juliet peeked through the curtain from backstage where the New Directions waited in the wings, there was a lot of people out there. She took a deep breath but couldn't get the butterflies in her stomach to go away. She felt someone come up behind her and shut the curtain closed.
"Don't psych yourself out. You're going to be amazing." Santana pulled Juliet away from the edge.
Juliet's expression was one of uncertainty. "I've never seen so many people in my life. What if I fall? Should I really have worn this outfit, maybe I should go change into the dress to blend in."
"Stop it. You look badass. We're going to win this thing, I mean I am singing the closing number so obviously we are going to win." She grinned.
Juliet sighed. "You're right. Look at me freaking out when you're the one who actually has the solo! It's gonna be awesome, and then maybe everyone at school will start to think glee club is cool?"
They paused for a minute until they broke out in laughter. "That'll never happen." They said in unison.
Just then the lights dimmed and they heard the announcer start to introduce their performance. Everyone got into their places and waited for the music to start. Juliet felt a swell of excitement walking onto the stage and the nerves disappeared just as the first notes began to play.
Why don't you come on over
Vallleeerrriiiiieee
With the last bar of their closing number the crowd erupts in applause and the New Directions take their bows. The performance went off without a hitch. She was doing something she loved with people she really (mostly) liked. She saw Kurt in the audience, he waved at her and did a thumbs up. She felt like she was on cloud nine.
Everyone skipped and celebrated down the hallway towards the dressing room after they got offstage. Juliet grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her into a huge hug as their friends passed by. "Your song was fantastic!" Juliet exclaimed, letting her excitement get the better of her regarding public displays.
Santana gently pushed her away as she glanced around. "We all crushed it. Let's celebrate later in private though okay?" She gave her a hopeful smile but noticed a twinge of sadness register across Juliet's face.
Juliet was not mad that Santana rejected even the simplest hug, even though she just saw Brittany give her one with no issue. She knew she was constantly afraid that their secret would get out and Juliet tried to respect that. But it didn't mean that it didn't hurt every now and then, especially when she looked over and saw Mike and Tina basically making out in the hallway in celebration.
But that was something she could dwell on later, they just did amazing and she could not wait to hear the results! Quinn came running by and grabbed Santana in the rush back to the dressing room. Juliet hurried down the hallway trying to catch up to everyone when all of a sudden she came to a screeching halt.
Brittany came up beside her and stopped as she noticed Juliet's face went pale. "Are you okay? You look like a dementor just sucked your soul." She leaned in closer and whispered. "That happened to me once."
Juliet just kept staring straight ahead. "Uh Britt, yeah I'm okay. I'll catch up with you guys in a minute." Brittany shrugged and continued to skip down the hall.
Juliet walked slowly towards what captivated her attention. "Mom?" She whispered in disbelief.
Josslyn marched straight towards Juliet and grabbed her arm. "What is this?" She glanced down at the outfit Juliet was wearing, her expression bore absolute horror. "I woke up extra early to switch shifts at the last minute so I could be here and you... you embarrass me like this?"
"I...uh...it's fine I wanted to wear it, it's what I feel most comfortable in!" She struggled to get out of Josslyn's grasp.
"We're leaving, we will discuss this at home!" Josslyn started to drag her down the hall towards the exit of the building.
Juliet began to argue. "But they haven't even announced the results yet!" Only to have her mom's vice grip pull even harder.
Juliet wheeled her bike in between two bushes surrounding the fence. She double checked the bike was hidden from view before chucking her duffel bag and backpack over the 8 foot chain-link surrounding the school. She felt a drop of water splash on her hand from above.
"You've got to be kidding me!" She could not take being rained on. Not tonight. She took a deep breath and began to climb, stopping at the top taking in how peaceful the night looked. Juliet chuckled to herself a bit.
"The calm before the storm, what a metaphor for my day." She wasn't talking to anyone, she was definitely alone but somehow it felt better to say it aloud. With one final hop down she started to re-gather her bags, she would be pretty impressed with herself with that jump had the circumstances been different.
Juliet reached the nearest building and started to rummage through her backpack. "Where did it go? I know it's in here!" She mumbled as she flung her belongings around.
The rain started to pick up as soon as Juliet grabbed the key she was searching for and unlocked the door to the WMHS sports equipment storage shed. She silently thanked herself for making tennis captain this year so she had access to it. It housed equipment for all the sports teams, so it was a pretty decent size. It also happened to smell like feet; but beggars can't be choosers and tonight she's definitely a beggar.
She ducked inside and flung her bags into a corner. A soccer ball had come loose from a storage basket and Juliet instinctively kicked it as hard as she could against the wall. It came barreling back and smacked her shin.
"Fuck!" She winced as she bent down to recover from the blow.
She scooted into a corner and pulled her knees to her chest as she sighed. How did one of the best days of her life then turn into one of the worst? She leaned her head back against the wall as she relived the incident.
"I just don't understand how you could feel more comfortable in men's clothing than in that cute little dress you showed me. I told all my friends at church and work about this performance and promised them videos and now...well I can't show them that, they'll think certain things." Josslyn paced around the kitchen.
"Mom, let's get real here. This isn't about the outfit." Juliet sighed. She was so tired of having the same fight.
"Who told you to wear that, was it Santana? That girl is a bad influence I can tell, you will not be spending time with her again." Josslyn nodded quite smug with herself, as if she had just solved the mystery.
"This isn't about Santana, just as it was never about Lena last summer. It's about ME. It's always been about the fact that you are scared of who I am!" Juliet raised her voice and got up from the kitchen chair she was sitting in. She needed space between them, if only a few extra feet.
"No." Josslyn stopped dead in her tracks. "Don't bring up that neighborhood girl, we have moved past that problem."
Juliet, on the verge of tears, fought back. "It's not a problem! It's my life! I'm ... I'm..." She took a deep breath, it was now or never, there would never be a good time for this to happen.
"I'm gay."
The kitchen fell silent.
"I'm gay mom." Juliet repeated herself, she knew her mom had heard her the first time but she needed to say it again, needed to feel how it sounds to finally stand up and say it. "I like girls. I was born this way, I can't change it. It's who I am."
Josslyn stood still, her eyes squeezed shut as she took a deep breath.
"Mom, say something please" She said a little softer, her heart beating out of her chest. This was not how she had thought tonight would go. "It's okay. God made me this way and there's nothing wro-"
"NO!" Josslyn slammed her fist down on the table. She paused to regain control. "Do not bring God's name into this."
With a darkness to her tone she whispered, "Get out."
"What?" Juliet asked faintly.
"Get out of my house and do not come back."
Back in the shed, Juliet shut her eyes and tried to fight back tears that threatened to fall at the memories. Her mom really thought it was that disgusting, that she was so deplorable, that she just kicked her out. If she can't love her now, did she ever?
Juliet grabbed her duffel bag and pulled out a blanket to wrap herself in. As she laid there in the pitch black room she was pulled from her thoughts when her phone lit up the entire shed. She realized she hadn't even looked at her phone since all this began. Wiping away a few stray tears, she pulled it into view and saw 5 missed texts, 2 missed calls, and a voicemail, most from Santana. One, surprisingly, was from Brittany.
SL: Hey where are you we have to go back on stage for the results
SL: J! We tied with Dalton, we get to go to regionals! RU in the bathroom?
SL: Babe, I want to celebrate! Answer your phone! I've got lots of plans for us tonight ;)
SL: No one knows where you went, what the hell is going on? You left your bag here, I'm bringing it back to Brittany's for you.
BSP: Hey J, Santana is looking for you. I told her the dementors probably took you to Azkaban.
Juliet sighed. She checked the voicemail, she could barely hear Santana over everyone in the background, but she definitely sounded annoyed. Thinking about it Juliet would be too if her girlfriend just upped and disappeared in the middle of everything.
As she goes to put her phone away one more text comes through.
SL: Hey Jules, I'm really worried now. It's been hours and u just disappeared. Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry about the hug thing... please just call me back.
Juliet couldn't stop the tears from falling after reading the last text. There was no way to tell Santana that her mom kicked her out; this was Santana's worse nightmare. She would probably break up with her and retreat further back into the closet. Juliet couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't.
For fear that Santana would possibly show up at her house or call a search party, Juliet sent back a quick text.
JS: Hey. Sorry I left early. We'll talk Monday.
Juliet turned her phone off completely after the message successfully sent, mostly to help preserve her battery. She curled up against the edge of the shed and quietly cried herself to sleep.
