The Challenges of Love

8. Bribe and Groom


I do not own Total Drama Island/Action or anything related or associated. I also do not own any of the exquisite oc's.


In Case You Already Forgot…

-Challenges Completed to Date: Speeding in the Dark, Getting Schooled

-Ladies Eliminated to Date: Rachel Haynes, Mandy Cassiders, Jade Smith

-Ladies Left: 20


An announcement over the speakers from the smooth voice of the ever narcissistic Chris Maclean had interrupted the ladies' breakfast (well, what Chef called breakfast) to inform them that they to be ready to hit the town and in the entrance hall in an hour's time. Knowing what happened to girl's who weren't ready, everyone was pretty much gathered in a clump in said room with fifteen minutes to spare. They were upset with their decision to be early when Chef came stomping over to them with a pot in his iron grip.

"Form an orderly line! ORDERLY LINE! Do you maggots not know what that IS?"

Whether with rolling eyes or sighs, the girls all managed to get in a straight line, staring back and forth skeptically between the pot in Chef's hands and his lazy eye.

"Now one at a time come get a number and put yourselves in the limo outside! You can do that much, right?" The girls blinked expectantly, expecting more orders. Chef's veins bulged at what he assumed to be disrespect. "ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN OR AM I GOING TO MAKE YOU?"

Ulli, who was first in line, narrowed her yellow-brown eyes and dipped her hand into the large pot. She pulled out a slip of paper and let her eyes dart over the number scribbled on it. She opened her mouth to ask what it was for, but was silenced by Chef's beady glare and ugly scowl. She coughed in disgust and sped off.

Ulli: "He needs to fix that face of his. I thought Chris wanted ratings! How can his cook's face possibly bring in ratings?"

This cycle went on for a while, taking a pause when Tawni came up because Chef contemplated even letting her have a paper and go along at all. The two were ready for an altercation to go down when, as if on cue, Chris flew down the staircase. Without much thought he plucked a number from the pot and passed it off to Tawni, leaving the room for his own limo without so much as a word.

Charlie: "Chris resolved a fight before it even started, meaning he thought about someone other than himself, meaning he isn't egocentric and does care about others!"

Chris paused when he was close to the door and stepped back to look at a window. He fluffed his hair up and slid sunglasses into place, did a finger bang at his smirking reflection, and resumed leaving.

Charlie: "… He would go and contradict what I just said without even knowing it…"

Once everyone was packed into the limo (with the windows covered to take any chance at the girls spotting their destination too soon) all the girls whipped their numbers out, but with all the chaos amongst twenty girls in the confined space, no one really figured much out.

"EVERYONE SHUT YOUR FACES!" Krissy snapped. The limo went quiet after a few insults and groans were shared. "Now all the losers on Team One – I dunno, do something."

Five numbers were waved in the air and the girls on the team did a sweep at each other looking more than happy. Lena, Roxie, Shelly, Lauren, and Vikki – not a single 'problem' girl to taint the assumed victory of Team One!

"Kay, now all the losers on Team Two… same thing."

Team Two tickets were raised, with all eyes getting stuck on one particular ticket waving around. It seemed promising at first: Maddie, Al, Tawni, Katroina, and then… Stormy. Their stomachs dropped along with their hopes of winning.

Krissy laughed. "Thank gawd I'm not on that team. Now the winning team three, do the same!" Krissy excitedly waved her number along with Dawn, Lea, Kristina, and Nina. Krissy groaned at the girl with the beanie. "Whatever… I'll bring us up. Any losers left can figure it out yourselves."

Team Four followed suit and Sapphire, Charlie, Ulli, Bell, and Serenity put their hands up.

When they arrived, the girls were – as usual – shocked at their destination. The place they were at was what some would refer to as a 'bit of heaven' or 'proof of some good left in this world.' Though it resembled most other arena-sized angled buildings, something about it made it better than the rest: a billboard that stated that this place was a mall.

The girls were quickly escorted to a large double door in what was presumed to be the back parking lot. Chris smirked as the girls came up in front of him looking giddy and excited.

"Welcome to the third challenge!" he declared, flashing a smile. "The name of the game is Can You Give Your Number!" He eyed the girls expectantly. "Now's the time you guys break off into your little groups and what-not." They moved around and waited for him to continue. "Wicked. So anyways, today you're challenge is to go and get guy's numbers or have your number asked for."

"What?" Charlie stepped forward with her brows drawn in. "Do you mean to say that you want us to flirt to get numbers? As in cheat?"

"And the light bulb goes off!" Chris praised. "That is exactly what I want! Though no one said you had to flirt – why limit yourself to just that?"

Chris: "If I have to have a long-term relationship, I want her to be smokin' to other guys too. What's the point in having a girlfriend if I don't even get to show her off and make other guys feel like the lonely losers they are?"

Charlie's eyes darkened as she was pulled back into her group, with the rest of the females sporting expressions not much brighter than hers. Chris, however, looked as chipper as ever. "Now what's-his-face will hand out some nifty gadgets!"

The escort mumbled his name and how much he hated his life under his breath as he gave each girl a shiny cell phone with a large screen and looked rather high tech.

Bell: "Oh wow – I'm holding the latest Blackberry right now! It isn't supposed to be out for another year! I wonder how Chris got these!"

Chris: "I managed to cut a few deals with the nerds- I ah, mean wonderful gents in the tech industry. These wicked little devils I gave the chicks haven't been tested yet so the girls are going to be the guinea pigs! I even got a warning with it about random electric shocks! This is going be awwwwwwesome to watch!"

"These," Chris gestured to the devices, "are your sidekicks for today. Lose them, have them stolen, break them – whatever, and you're in for it. Record numbers in that thing and whenever a guy asks you for yours, press the black button on the side so it tallies up in your phone – but I don't suggest cheating by sitting there and pressing it either."

Stormy: "… Curses!"

Nina: "No! How am I supposed to win this thing now if I can't CHEAT? Where's the loophole?! THERE'S ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO BE A LOOPHOLE!" Nina sobs and pulls her beanie down over her head to hide her muffled cries.

"The team who gets the most numbers wins exemption and a date with yours truly. To make this deal a bit special, the girl who collects the most numbers on the team gets some more quality time! And now, I'm going to go in and scope the area and you all are going to come in a bit after me. I'll be in a clever disguise so you can't possibly tell where I am, but just know I will be watching." The girls shivered. "Well, that's all I got to say! See you around ladies." Chris whipped his shades off, put them in his pocket, and took a different pair of sunglasses out and put them over his eyes as he triumphantly walked in.

Serenity: Her left eye twitches and she struggles to keep her cracking composure."Please don't tell me that switching sunglasses is his idea of a disguise…"

After standing around awkwardly for five minutes, the escort allowed the girls to fly through the doors and take on the mall's male population on their own. With all the people crammed in the place, it couldn't be that hard… right?


Wrong. This challenge was NOT going to be easy… at least not for Team Three and not by a long shot.

"Kristina, Dawn – follow me! We need to go get some numbers!" Krissy ordered, waiting to be followed.

"But what about Lea and Nina?" Kristina wondered.

Krissy laughed haughtily. "Yeah, as if. If we want to, like, win we need to travel together without having any freaks in our possy. Those two don't make the cut."

"Why?" Kristina asked. Both of the girls were exceptionally gorgeous or they wouldn't have made the cut to be on the show.

"Well, let's start with Freak Girl One." Krissy shifted her weight toward Lea, who was standing up tall and starring at something on the ceiling (that's at least what the girls assumed). "Notice how she's staring at who-knows-what. She spaces all the time – enough to be considered a mental case. If we get seen with her, her retarded daydreaming shit will be guy repellent or we'd get stuck with weirdos. And besides – her nose is kinda big."

Lea: "… Krissy has toothpaste on her shirt… I wonder why she hasn't noticed yet. It seems fairly obvious that it's there…" She shrugs. "Of course, I suppose it could be because she was pointing out some of my flaws. Not that I mind too much since my nose is a disproportional to the rest of my features and at least she was up front about it. To a degree I feel Krissy is respectable." She pauses and rethinks what she just said. "She is respectable to a very small degree."

"As for Freak Girl Numba Two," all eyes fell on Nina, who was already getting glossy eyes, "She does more crying than the girls on an episode of The C.O. which is like one of the bestest soap operas, ever! But that's beside the point – let's go ladies! You two just… don't bother us."

Krissy dragged (literally) Dawn and Kristina away. Once out of eyesight and lost in the crowd, Nina burst into hysteric crying spasms. "Bestest isn't a word," Lea commented to the sobbing Nina, hoping it would cheer her up that the Queen Bee type wasn't all that bright.

"But… I said that word this morning!" Nina sobbed harder, overlooking the fact Lea had tried to make her feel better. With the hysterics she was in, it didn't look as if anyone would be invading their personal bubble (let alone asking for numbers) anytime soon…


Team One was doing much, much better than the third group which was evident by the bright smiles and radiating good moods.

Shelly: "I'm not too worried about the challenge! I have such awesome people on my team – how could we lose?"

As the group started to talk amongst themselves about their wonderful luck, a guy walked over from a booth wearing a shirt that had, "Save our planet!" written in bright red letters. "Hello! Do you guys have a sec? I'd like to talk to you about our envoi- HOLY CRAP! Guys, it's Lena! DUDES LENA'S HERE!"

The girls arched a brow at Lena, who was now waving and greeting the guys like they were long-lost friends. "Hey, guys! I haven't seen any of you since the sit in we had in the Pet Testing Labs!"

"Yeah – that was awesome! You had the best slogans…" a few of the guys started to drool at her as she took a look at a pamphlet they brought over, but she didn't seem to notice with the environmental literature at her fingertips. If they weren't gawking at the brunette, the rest of the guys were checking out the other girls.

Vikki: "Must get numbers… must get numbers… must… get… numbers… must let… dumb boys… stare…"

Lauren brought her purse up in front of her chest nonchalantly as if everyone did it now and days. Shelly sidestepped behind Roxie, who was used to being avidly stared at and didn't seem to mind too much, though she definitely wasn't interested in it. Vikki brought her guitar she always had with her in her arms to block all that she could. Lena seemed to be the only one who honestly didn't notice the attention she was getting, which was confusing seeing how she had a knack for knowing when Chris even glanced her direction.

Not that anyone had to time to think about that as the boys started to get bold and try striking up conversations.

Vikki: "Yeah, hands down worse challenge. Ever."


"Hey – what's going on over there?" The members of Team Two looked over at a hoard of guys surrounding where their friends in the first group was last seen.

"What the hell could they possibly be doing – stripping?" Maddie asked her team members who all looked both relieved (better to sacrifice someone other than themselves) and agitated (wait – didn't they want to be sacrificed for this dumb challenge?).

"Hey, you sexy thangs." The five turned around to see a tall, muscular guy with a muscle shirt curving over his thick abs looking at all the girls with heavy eyes. "How about I give you all the attention you've ever dreamed of?"

Katroina: "I won't lie – no one has ever said that to me before. Ever. Another truth? I never really wanted anyone to say anything to me like that. Ever."

Tawni scowled, already ticked off with the challenge the sudden strong and uncalled for come-on grated her nerves further down. "How about I give your face some attention from my fist and let it teach you how to talk to people?"

Maddie didn't bother to hide her laugh and even went as far as to point to the well-built man and shout, "DENIED!" Al was frowning at her iPod – she had been changing songs when the exchange took place and missed out on the insult and was rather confused as to why this random guy was standing so close and looked so mad. Katroina was shaking her head at the whole situation she found to be immature and Stormy was… well, documenting the events in her book.

Stormy: Avidly jotting down notes with a building speed and force. "Situations like these… give me eustress… and I love every moment of it!"

"Fine you bitches, I don't need this!" He looked down at Al, who was arching a brow at him and looked as perplexed as he did engaged. "I know you want me and I'll make you jealous by letting your friend hang out with me and mine!" Al's face paled as he swept her in his arms and took her over to a group of equally beefed-up guys.

"It would be great to have someone help me right about now!" Al shouted a bit nervously, writhing against the huge arms that had her stuck against his chest.

Katroina: "It was a bit shocking. It took us a moment to realize that our teammate was, in fact, just kidnapped and another moment to realize we should go try and stop the creeper who took her. It's too bad that a huge group of people chose that precise moment to walk in front of us… what an inopportune time."

Maddie: "Sucks to be her…"

Tawni groaned and slapped her palm to her forehead. "Great – just great! Al's gone!"

Stormy looked up from her book. "Wait, Al's gone?"


Ulli had taken to smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles in her orange dress as she ordered everyone in Team Four around. "Serenity – go to Fossil and see if they have anything cute. They usually have good cardigans. Sapphire – go get me a drink, and I'm thinking that only a slushie can quench this dry feeling in my throat. Charlie – go look at that map and tell me where the nearest tanning bed is. Bell, go see if you can find a masseuse in this hellhole. Everyone got that? Well? What are you all standing around for?!"

Charlie took a step away from the orange spitfire with her eyes narrowed. "Listen, Ulli, I have no intention of doing this challenge, but I'm not about to go shopping or looking for tanning beds."

"You aren't doing the challenge?" Serenity gasped.

Charlie: "Of course I'm not doing the challenge! It's incredibly demeaning. He treats us more like toys then people! I am not about to lower myself to picking up guys to get a date. There's just no way."

Chris: "… Damn!"

A spark of rage flickered in the orange athlete's yellow brown eyes and she moved up to stand in front of Charlie, though with her height she had to crane her neck to the point where it was almost a perfect right angle. "You don't want to help you team out? Fine, be gone with you!"

Ulli shoved Charlie back, and the blond fell into Bell who clutched her arms and kept them steady. Ulli looked ready to cause some more damage for being brushed off when Sapphire stepped in. "H-hey…" she stuttered and blushed at her own forwardness. "Pa-please don-don't hurt Charlie… she's ni-nice…."

"Move, bitch!"

Ulli aimed a slap at the shy girl. Sapphire leaned back and let the hand slip through the air in front of her before aiming a kick at her side and jabbing a few of the orange girl's pressure points and sending her to the ground. Everyone was speechless as Ulli dropped and they all looked back up carefully at Sapphire, who looked as innocent as child who got lost.

"That was kinda like what the kids at my school I aid at do," Serenity whispered in astonishment.

"Umm… thanks." Charlie softly stated even though she didn't really approve of violence and wasn't sure if Ulli was dead or not.

"She'll be fine I didn't hurt her, just knocked her out," Sapphire said as she took to twiddling her thumbs. "I guess she didn't know I was a black belt…"


Krissy and Kristina were huddled behind a water fountain watching Dawn struggle to stay awake in front of Hot Topic as people passed from each direction.

"Err, can I ask what we're doing?" Kristina wondered aloud, not enjoying the crazed look in Krissy's eyes. "Shouldn't we be focusing on our mission and getting numbers? Why are we hiding?"

"Because I have to make sure Dawn doesn't screw up!" she hissed. "My plan is to put each one of our 'normal' members of our crap team in places where guys that like our 'style' or whatever will be. You and myself are pretty versatile, so I'm thinking we'll just go to the food court after making sure Dawn knows what she's doing."

"Oh." Kristina looked back but then another question came to mind. "Wait, isn't Dawn pretty versatile? She's easy enough to get along with."

Krissy clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "Dawn's hot spot is Hot Topic. If she'd get a few piercings, die her hair the colors of the rainbow, get some Asian symbol for a tattoo, and wore some dark poorly applied makeup there's no doubt in my mind she'd be crowned queen of that weird store and we'd have won by now!"

"Isn't that… stereotyping the people and store itself to say all that?"

"It's true!" Krissy rebuffed. "Dawn has a freaking faux hawk for crying out loud! Black jeans and that yellow tee – and those glasses…." Krissy nodded to herself. "If only… I GOT IT!" She looked down at Kristina. "Wait here – I'll be right back!" Krissy bolted and was gone for what seemed like hours. When she got back she had what looked like a large stapler in her hand.

"Dawn!" The girl called looked up from her dull laze and her eyes snapped why.

"What do you plan to do with that piercing gun?"Dawn asked apprehensively.

"Make you fit in more! You're so close but imagine what a nose ring would do for us!"

Dawn took that as her cue to get out of there. Fast.

Kristina: "Why couldn't we just go get numbers somewhere crowded again…?"

Meanwhile, the rest of Team Three was bored out of their minds. Well, Lea looked bored at least. Nina was having the time of her life hassling the ever calm girl with a collected persona.

"I spy with my little eye something that is… purple!"

"… My shirt?"

"You won again! That's twenty-seven for twenty-seven! You're good at this game!" Nina had decided to play I Spy with Lea, who had a knack for getting every 'spied' object right without even looking around to see what Nina scoped out.

Nina sniffed. "Why is it so easy for you to win…?" She broke into hard sobs and shoved herself to the corner of her bench.

Goodness this girl was bipolar…


Lena was feeling good. She looked at the space left on the blackberry with a smile. "Memory full! I didn't think it'd be THAT easy to get numbers! What about you guys?"

Team One's cell phone's were, in fact, brimming with information and with an hour to spare nonetheless. Turns out that hosting sit-ins can help out when you need a helping hand.

"I think we should go Chris Hunting," Lauren joked, feeling comfortable enough away from the group of boys to put her purse by her side. "I want to see all of his sun glasses!"


A group of girls swooned and cooed around a bench were a strikingly handsome man leaned back at. He was letting his teeth sparkle at the girl's watching him and even ran a hand through his luscious locks to make them yearn to touch it even more.

"Ohhh you are so hot!" one girl squeaked.

"What did you say you did again…?"

"I said," the girls squealed more at the smooth voice, "that I turned down a role to play Edward Cullen, you know that guy in the Twilight movies? It was because I was just too good to settle for it."

"I can believe that!" another girl shouted before a loud whisper along the lines of, "Sorry, Edward!" was heard.

Quite frankly, Chris was enjoying his time letting girls he didn't have to commit to admire and spoil him with compliments. It was a nice break from the house. Everything with those girls was getting too serious for him, so it was nice to have some time to himself – which he very much needed! Another major plus was that the mall was too huge for him to worry about anything as trite as a girl from the house actually finding him.

"Chris!" The lax guy stiffened. Oh no… no no no no no no…

It was one of the few women on the face of the planet that would not only care to the extreme about exactly where he was and what he was doing, but would make sure he knew exactly how much they cared.

Charlie.

The crowd split to allow Team Four led by an incredulous looking Charlie over to him. She took a good look at the fan girls assembled and scoffed. "Lack of commitment…" she muttered. "I didn't even do the challenge because I didn't want to prove I wasn't here for you but look at what you're doing." She gave him a look that made the loitering girls feel guilty and consider racing off.

"Anyway, Chris, we have a problem which is why we went looking for you in the first place." Serenity said, snaking her way up to him as well. "Ulli is kind of… well, knocked out on the floor a bit from here and we wanted to know what to do."

Chris laughed. "Oh yeah! I caught that action!" He gave Sapphire a thumbs up. "Awwwesome performance, I gotta hand it to you."

Sapphire gave her nervous thumbs a strained look, not willing herself to look up and show anyone her obvious redness.

"So what, are we just going to leave her there?" Bell asked doubtfully.

Chris tapped his chin. "Well, considering you already did, I'd say yes. Yes you will just leave her there." He got up off the bench. "Now, let's go back to the parking lot. The other's have only fifteen minutes and we mine as well chill since you all claim to be loyal and whatever."

As he walked away with the girls from the house, the fans were giving each other confused looks until one of them spoke up. "Wait… that was really Chris Maclean?"


"OW!" Katroina held her phone away from her and glared at it. "This thing just shocked me for no reason!"

"It got me twice," Maddie sighed and tossed it up and caught it. "If only Al could get away so we could focus on our challenge!"

Indeed, Al was still in the clutches of the evil Muscle Man and his rather large group of well-built cohorts. They had finally found them looking around a random prank store. The man who had taken Al had a nice grip on her arm. And Al? Yeah, she didn't look too happy about her quandary.

Everyone's phone's suddenly went off simultaneously. They brought them out and grimaced: Chris expected them to be out in the parking lot in five minutes.

"The only way it looks like we can get her back is to rekidnap her," Tawni said slowly, mulling it over. "We're going to have to trick those blockheads by using a diversion and just bolt." She shifted her eyes to everyone. "Any takers?"

No one looked excited about sacrificing themselves, but since Stormy hadn't paid them any heed they stuffed her in the store and told her to distract and run when they did.

"You can do it!" Maddie cheered.

Maddie: "There's no way she can distract those goons or would even try. I think we just lost two players…" Then her face lit up. "That's two less people to compete against!"

Stormy shrugged off the insane antics her team had in mind and leaned back on a wall and went back to writing. Al noticed her and paused her iPod with her free hand and leaned back. "Hey Stormy!" she whispered out. "Are you here to help?"

"No," Stormy said flatly.

"Wha- come on! I could use it!"

"What'd you say?" the blockhead asked. Al waved him off.

Stormy looked up and Al did not like that mischievous glint in her hazel eyes. "Under one condition…" She scribbled something down in her book, tore it out, and handed it over to Al's free hand. Al's eyes popped open and bugged at the note. "No way!"

"Fine… hope you like being manhandled…"

Al groaned. "Fine! But I just know I'll get you back for this!" Al turned her iPod up as loud as she could and squeezed her eyes shut.

Stormy snapped her book shut and plugged her pen into her pocket. She strut in front of group of guys and took a deep breath and –

Maddie: "Hey, I was wrong! What's she going to do?"

Tawni: "Four minutes…"

Katroina: "I hope this plan doesn't involve her taking a shirt off. For some reason, I just wouldn't put it past her."

- and then she breathed it out. "Hey, you guys." The blockheads got smart and realized they were being spoken to. Stormy pointed to her teammates. "Those girls just claimed that their boyfriend could beat you up. Are you going to take that?"

The blockheads looked at each other and wondered, where they going to take that?

"NOOOOOO WAAAAAAAY!" one particularly stupid looking one with a lazy eye growled. He stampeded to the girls and demanded to know where their boyfriend was.

Katroina, Tawni, and Maddie decided that now would be a good time to bolt and the bodybuilders with rabies symptoms on their heels helped to keep their pace strong. Al's capture had followed, so she walked over to Stormy and glowered. "Here."

They switched Blackberry's. Stormy smirked in victory.


Outside, Chris had his limo pulled up with the girl's limo right behind it. He stood in front of it, drumming his finger tips against the car roof in impatience. All the girls were here (even Ulli had woken up – due to a shock from her phone she claims – and stood by her team, who were all glaring heavily at her). Well, all the girls minus Team Three.

"One minute for them left!" Lena sang out happily. Her team was all wearing bright faces and in an exceptionally good mood after learning from Charlie that their team had gotten no numbers. Even better was the news from Nina that they were also numberless even though she knew Lea had people ask for her numbers and she just neglected them or possibly didn't notice them in the midst of her daydream (this memory caused Nina to go into a fit of tears).

Just then Tawni came sprinting out in-between where the first and third team stood. "Yo Chris the-"

Maddie slammed into Tawni's back and cut off her warning and providing her own. "CHRIS THESE FREAKY JACKED UP STEROID USERS WANT TO FIGHT YOU!"

Katroina came out next and nodded while panting. "It's true, though I don't know so much about the steroids part…"

Chris tilted his head and his jaw slacked. "What…? Why the hell would they want to do that?"

To add to the growing chaos, several beefy looking guys came soaring out of the doors and pointed at Chris and the escort, who happened to be the only males besides themselves out there (besides the drivers, but no one thought they really counted the poor saps). "Which one of you challenged us to a FIGHT?"

Sapphire: "I get to see Chris fight?" She smiles and looks enthusiastic.

Chris jabbed a finger at the escort. "He is."

The escort looked mollified and he shrunk away from Chris. "Chris, that's a lie!"

He shrugged and slapped his back. "Relax and take one for the team. If you live through this I'll talk to the network about giving you a raise or something." The body builders cracked their knuckles and took off after the shrieking escort who decided that running through to the main parking lot was his best option. Al and Stormy creaked through the doors and snuck into the limos after everyone else carefully made their ways inside as to not startle the bodybuilders and bring them over. It was time to get out of there….


"Third elimination ceremony, ladies, how are we feeling?" Some girls opened their mouth but Chris overlooked them. "Good for you. Now after collecting the Blackberry's and giving them to some guy I hired to count up the numbers, I was a bit disappointed. Team's Three and Four, you guys suck. Not a single number. For shame!"

The girls looked at each other and felt better about 'sucking' since so many of them apparently did – and there's power in numbers, right?

"Team One and Three, however, proved to go way above and beyond! Team One got a wicked high total of fifty-seven numbers!" The girls cheered and clapped. "Yeah, but Team Three's was higher. They had a more wicked even higher total of sixty-two."

"What?" Vikki asked in shock. "How? We were surrounded!"

Al: "Turns out the idiot who took me has a bunch cell phones because he keeps breaking them – he says he has anger issues or something And then his friends wanted to register their numbers and they apparently have a bunch of phones too because of the same problem. Go figure."

"So Team Three, get over there and enjoy your triumph! And Stormy, I hate to say this – and I mean really hate to say this – but looks like we get some extra time on our date."

The group cast suspicious eyes at an angry Al and chipper Stormy as they aligned themselves up on the winning stands.

"Now we know the deal, right?" The girls nodded. "In case you forgot and you're telling lies, I'll say it again for your benefit and so you can hear how nice my voice is! I call your name, you get sweet – literally – candy or a piece of this equally sweet grape bunch. Unless you Lena and you like to take handfuls, but hey I don't judge. From there you go to those risers. If your name isn't called or I call it to inform you or your losing status, hightail it out of here to the Helipad of Shame and take a trip on the Helicopter of Losers and know that you can never return… ever." He reached for a chocolate and took a bite and said, "Roxie."

The dancer came forward and Chris offered her the candy, with his bite marks facing the other way and pretending to act innocent. She rolled her eyes but smiled and took it from him, popping it in her mouth.

Roxie: "Third time out of three for getting picked first!"

Nina: She's sobbing. "Roxie got picked first… AGAIN."

"Lena." The once upbeat girl looked miserable at the surprising defeat. She ser herself up to get pumped for her second date… that wouldn't be happening. At least not tomorrow.

Chris noticed this, and debated. Should he do something to make her feel better? Wait, why would he want to do that? He likes to see this! People looking depressed like this make the world go round, right? Then… why did he feel like crap to see her drag herself away?

He shook his head. He'd deal with his stupid conscience later. Yes, that had to be it. He was getting morals. It's not as if he was actually starting to… to care. Of course not.

"Charlie!" he called out quickly. "Dawn… KKm don't even think about it… next lady, you know who you are…" Lea came up and took her chocolate accordingly, thanking Chris upon it dropping into her waiting palm.

Bell: "How does Lea always know it's for her? What's with that anyways? Is it like an inside joke or something?"

"Bell… Sapphire, awesome fight once again! Thoroughly entertaining and will bring some off the hook ratings… Kristina… Serenity… Lauren… Shelly… and then there were three."

Vikki, Nina, and Ulli stood on the risers, looking nervous.

Charlie: "If Chris doesn't send Ulli home, I'm going. I'm not putting myself at risk for someone who flirts constantly with other girls who aren't even in the competition!"

"Ulli, step forward." The orange girl walked up and Chris scowled. "I said 'step forward' not 'come over here!' Whatever. The message is the same no matter where you put yourself. Ulli, it's time you said goodbye to your chance at me and hit the air."

The orange girl's eyes shot open wide and she growled. "No! I'm forty-two! I need to win so I can marry you and have your money to buy my equipment and fulfill my Olympic aspirations and put my seventeen-year-old son in a proper boarding school!"

Silence. Everyone looked stunned with the exception of Lea, who already thought as much.

"COUGAR!" Maddie cried out, pointing accusingly at the orange girl.

"Fer sure," Chris agreed. "No wonder you're so messed up – you're senile!"

Lauren: "This goes to show us that you never know what's going to happen here and things change… quickly…"

Lena: "Now that I think about it, I think I teach a kid who looks kind of like her in my AP Biology class."

Vikki: "That poor, poor child of hers…. Does anyone else think it's weird that she looks like she's young and she's the oldest person here?"

Ulli narrowed her eyes and stalked off, leaving a string of curse words in her wake.

Ulli: "I hope you're happy, you sadist bastard! You're deluded dif you think you can find someone better than me and who loves you!"

"Now Vikki and Nina, I'm glad to say that one of you will be joining her. That one will be… Vikki." Vikki looked crestfallen. "Wait, no, not Vikki – Vikki take this candy. I meant Nina. Yes, Nina."

A loud, ear biting scream ripped through the garden and Nina quivered. "Why Chris? Why?" she sobbed.

"It's because you cry all the fuckin' TIME!" Krissy shouted.

"Actually, no, it's not." Chris pointed to her beloved hat. "Your beanie doesn't match your outfit." The girl's looked from the infamous black beanie to her pink short sleeved dress to her yellow shoes. "And yes, matching does matter. Can't fall in love with someone who's colorblind, can I?"

"But… I'm not…" she cried even harder in to the stones as security came out to take her away.

Nina: "Chris… even though you can't see or feel what I do, even though you're being hounded by all these beautiful, smart women… know that I will love you forever and that one day we'll be together! I won't give up!"

Chris coughed and turned to the group of girls. "Well, now that THAT'S over, let's go inside and chill, shall we?"

They all nodded, happy at Chris quality time. A door was heard sliding open and shut and all eyes turned to see a gorgeous and exceptionally long wavy blonde tresses and short hot pink dress with a corset top and frilly, poofy bottom that ended at her knees.

"Shit…" Chris breathed out.

"Hey, lover." The girl walked up and flipped her hair and batted her well shaded light blue eyes at him coyly. "Since you forgot to text me about your little shindig I thought I'd get myself invited. Aren't you lucky I'm giving you another chance?"


My fingers hurt. My neck hurts. My head hurts. EVERYTHING hurts… I'm going to go cuddle up in bed right now and order my psycho neighbor to put my homework on fire… bleh I can't even think straight… and I jumped around too much because of it... damn cross country prep season, musical practice, fencing practice, and school in general! Oh well, what can you do?

Thanks go out to: everyone who reviewed. If I could, I would give you the world, but it just isn't good enough for any of you so I won't even bother offering (… I think I heard this pickup line before XP).

Special Super Duper Thanks go out to: 1000GreenSun (still the supreme challenge beta), Sani48 (still freaking uh-maize-ing, still radical, and still a reviewer), . (still jealous), and One Black Rose (still loving your suggestion)

Review and remind me why I do this instead of studying for my SATs ;)