Disclaimer: If I owned Host Club, I'd make the twins do the chicken dance for kicks


After club had finally ended, I was reminded that no matter how much better I felt at the prospect of a new hoodie, it did not change where I had to go at the end of school. Home is where the hell is, I guess.

And I still didn't know what Kyoya was doing at Mess hall either. Damn.

Obee-baba descended on me the moment I entered the house, demanding, "What is this?!" I cursed mentally as she snatched my hat off my head. I really need to remember to take that thing off more. It keeps getting spotted by my least favorite people.

"Well it certainly fits," she said disgustedly, looking me over like a crippled dog at a show (ah, the irony, comparing myself to a dog), "And this-!" she pointed to my hoodie, "Where did you get this thing?!" obviously she couldn't appreciate a Hiitachan work of art when she saw one. Granted, it was hardly the kind of stuff they usually did, but still.

I edged around her, backing slowly into the kitchen.

"'Peppermint'? And-oh…what is this?" she made a pass at my hoodie pocket as I moved by and filched the folded picture, "Who did this?" Obee-baba inquired neither commanding nor rhetorically (thus very, very suspicious). Apparently she can recognize expensive photo manipulation products when she saw them.

"One of my classmates," I opened the refrigerator and popped up a Coke, taking a sip, then said sarcastically, "I was lamenting my new housing situation and he wanted to cheer me up before I got suicidal." Speaking of suicidal… (sentences, that is)

"Your boyfriend?"

I spewed high-pressure carbonated beverage all over the floor (and walls, and chairs, and why not the ceilings? I was very surprised, more like abhorred, to say the least.).

"No! The very notion of like towards that-no," I quickly corrected, taking a deep breath, trying to calm myself down enough not to spew curse words out with the Coke, "He is not my boyfriend."

"But it is a boy you associate with," Associate? You could say that, Obee-baba. Though you may want to try more in the 'utter and complete loathing and despise' side of the spectrum.

"Does he even know you're female?" how quickly she jumps back to distain the moment I assure her I don't have a glimmer of potential for being a normal girl.

"Yes," I growled, kinda pissed now. She did just insinuate something between Kyoya and me after all (other than the above mentioned utter and complete loathing and despise), "despite what may be convenient," so very, very convenient, "he does."

With that, I promptly tried to make a break for freedom, but Obee-baba slipped in the whopper before I vault up the stairs in a single leap.

"Do any of your, if you have any, other friends know that?"

Well, no, not really. If Kei and Kyo could be called my friends, even they wouldn't count. They probably just thought I was just a guy with really, really bad luck and intimidating extended family. Which is almost entirely true.

I was fortunately saved from dodging that question by the door bell. Unfortunately, Obee-baba was closer, so she got to see who it was before I could.

"Who- oh my," there was that tone again, that 'what do we have here' voice, "What brings someone so esteemed here, Ootori-san?"

Oh. Damn. It.

I pushed through her, grabbed the door and closed it on her face, immediately spinning around to demand a very important question.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Dog-sitting far trumps 'your adventures are repetitive and often hazardous' for an excuse."

I tried my hardest not glare, but failed quite miserably.

"Knowing full well the person inside that house is tied with you for the bane of my existence," which is a high and dubious honor, as he well knows, "why did you come?! I'm getting the freaking Spanish Inquisition when I go back in there after Kyoya Ootori shows up! I know you're the poster child for Schadenfreude, but WHY?!"

"Calm down," Kyoya rolled his eyes, though he did look the slightest (like infinitesimally) impressed I could pronounce a word in German, even if it was the closest language to the four words I could speak in English ("Dude, where's the can?!" insert crotch clutch here, optional gotta-piss dance included), "I only came to return this," he held out the navy hoodie.

I stared at it, then said exasperatedly, "Haven't we already talked about you having people for these menial tasks?"

"But if I don't come myself, how could I call myself a proper advertiser for sadism?" he grinned, and I wasn't a bit surprised he knew I had called him the poster child for taking pleasure in other's misery. No doubt he had been called it at least once in his life (try at least one hundred). "Besides, then I couldn't use my excuse; dog-sitting."

"Well, you've sat on me long enough. Now leave." I pointed to the other side of the planet, the galaxy, the universe.

"Very well," he dropped the hoodie into my hands as I rolled my eyes. It made a crackling noise as it was transferred. It wasn't until he was halfway down the drive that I found out the source. It was a piece of cardstock in the pocket.

'Your princes are all killed and your princesses all perish, but we think a happy ending is exactly what you wish.'

What the-? I ran down to Kyoya and thrust it into his face, "What do you mean by this?"

He read it over and handed it back with a shrug, "I don't recognize the writing," that's because it was typed, ass-hole, "Where did you find this?"

"In here," I shook the hoodie at him.

"And when did you last check it?"

Never, of course. I hardly expect things to be shoved into my pockets for no reason.

"That's what I thought," he read my silence perfectly. Once I thought about it, it did say 'we'.

He continued on his way and, confused and irritated, I marched back up the drive and slammed the door behind me.

I was bombarded the next moment.

"You're acquainted with Kyoya Ootori?" I climbed the stairs, starting to get a headache at trying to figure out who wrote the note, "Is he the one who knows your gender?" the day seemed to be catching up to me and I was suddenly really, really tired, "So then you're well-acquainted?" Obee-baba's third degree was really getting on my nerves.

"You know, the Ootori family is-"

I whipped around on the eleventh stair and glared darkly, "Shut up. Don't ever speak that name to me again."

I was too tired to notice Obee-baba doing something she had never done before.

She shut up.

You know, I was once told I was scary when truly angry. I wonder if what Rin had said was right. If I got pissed enough could I really scare the likes of Obee-baba or even Danna-teme?

A Fool to be Feared I'd be.


However, Obee-baba's shock at my feral look did not last long after that (try 'all of ten seconds') and she was soon shouting at me from the bottom of the stairs.

So thus I didn't get any sleep for the second night in a row between her shouting and my uncomfortable position on the floor.

I also found that I was spending less time home and more time away from the house as the next day went on to two. I hadn't napped for more than three minutes and before I knew it, three days had gone by with no real sleep whatsoever. School became a huge problem all of a sudden.

I stumbled in the general direction of the third music room, slamming into every door, wall, chair, or banister that dared cross my path. Three teachers had dropped textbooks by my head to wake me up today, and one of them dropped it on my head. The news Obee-baba delivered about extending her stay to two weeks this morning didn't help, especially since it was solely to get Father a girl and make me into one. (Bonus torment: She's recently taken a fatally unhealthy interest in one devil incarnate. I sense a despairingly long-winded lecture on getting good connections to the business world.)

My shoulder glanced off a corner. It wasn't likely I would be able to take much more of this. Already in my temporary state of narcolepsy I had forgotten everyone was gone after all the detentions I had to serve. At least no one will know who put dents in all the décor. That glimmer of good luck however, like always, did not survive to take its first breath; I didn't know I was falling down the stairs until it was too late and I-

…fell asleep. Sad, I realize, to conk out the moment least needed, but when you have to sleep, your brain won't let you do anything else (it's true, look it up, I dare you. Like self-mind-control. By your brain. Scary, right?). One very important fact, however, was not that I performed the most pathetic way to die, but the fact it was just that, a performance.

I wasn't dead.

But I did have a severe desire to stay asleep. That wasn't happening though, because I definitely wasn't resting until I found out how I went from mid-air to lying on the ground. I groaned, forcing my eyes open.

"Oh, you're alive, are you?" commented an oddly sour voice, "Not too long ago you had some kind of sleep-deprived death wish."

"Wha…?" I groggily propped myself up on my elbows. Kyoya sat casually against the wall, giving me a slightly pissed-off look. He seemed out of breath for some reason, but he's hardly the kind of person to be galloping down the hallways, alone or otherwise, so there didn't seem to be any reason for it.

"You," he pointed at me, huffing nearly unnoticeably, "nearly fell to your death. The stairs may be carpeted, but they still show blood should you decide to crack open your skull on them."

My head was slowly coming around to the strange situation, "Did you…save me?" I asked uncertainly.

"Yes," he replied tersely, "I didn't see you trying to save yourself. Though I'm starting to regret doing so more and more."

Did you run to catch me? I thought bemusedly, no one else was in the hall when I passed out, but didn't say it out loud. It was too weird.

"I assume if you witnessed me die, it would invoke tedious legal processes, right?" I was pretty sure that was exactly what had motivated him; 'if you die, it'd be a bother to clean up'.

"That would definitely be an unpleasant outcome, yes," he nodded and took in a deep breath muffled by a sigh, "But when did you last sleep anyways?"

Okay, so the fact he was avoiding such a meaningless question probably should have registered in my mind, but like I said, three days plus insomnia plus just woke up equals so very out of it.

"First, third, and fourth period don't count," he reminded me, rattling off the exact teachers who had given me detention.

"I dunno," definitely not fully awake yet, "about three days ago." Which, for future reference, is not healthy. But that was already pretty apparent.

"You put your books in your room," he said flatly. It hadn't been a question, but there was a distinct tone of amused disbelief in his voice, "Can you even find your bed?"

"No," I admitted, slumping back down.

"Where have you been attempting to sleep?" he must have realized I wouldn't give up that easily in pursuit of a decent night's sleep.

"Everywhere," I groaned, staring at the ceiling, "Obee-baba won't shut the hell up," I subconsciously rubbed my temple at the memory. Headache on legs, that woman is.

"And you haven't tried some other way?" Kyoya asked dryly.

"Of course I have," I rolled my eyes, "In first, second, third…probably shouldn't have tried in fourth." My head throbbed as a reminder. Dropping that book on my head had not been an accident; that teacher had been vindictive.

"Second?" he said, surprised.

"Some girls," I waved my hand vaguely, "who seemed to know me only as 'Peppermint'," I added with the appropriate amount of dryness, "They kept me from getting caught. Probably in a vain attempt to keep me from missing host club all together."

"At home? What have you tried there?"

Didn't I already say this? I'm sure I did.

"I survive," I murmured, not wanting his pity (more like access to more leverage), "Only a week and a half more." But I couldn't keep the sound of disgust from creeping into my voice.

"Only? You are no use to the club if you're constantly on the verge of collapse."

"Whatever," my eyes fluttered. I was phasing back into dreamland and I knew it.

Apparently so did Kyoya. I heard a heavy sigh and finally, "In the club room, there are some couches. I'm sure at this point you would fall asleep on jagged rocks, so you could at least use those."

I forced myself to my feet. He pointed down the hall, "Two doors that way, take a left, then two more doors," but made no attempt to get up himself.

I followed his instructions, but fell asleep just after turning the corner. I can't be sure, but it sounded like someone was muttering under their breath right after I collapsed but before I dropped asleep.


When I woke up, it was evident I was no longer passed out on the hallway floor. It was so pitch black that I would have thought I hadn't opened my eyes if not for some slivers of light peeking from the edge of a pair of apparently thick curtains. I sat up, only to find myself landing hard on cold tile floor.

"Hell, that hurt," I muttered, but got to my feet anyways. My first goal was to open those curtains. It was surprising I didn't hit anything, because I found after I opened the drapes that I was in the school infirmary and I had passed very close to the corners of the other beds.

I looked back out the window. The sun was close to the horizon, so it was likely I had only slept for about ten minutes or so. I sighed and went back to the bed. Ten minutes wasn't very long. I would likely start passing out randomly in another half an hour. I leaned back, fingers laced behind my head.

At least I feel fine now, I thought wistfully. I was going to enjoy these thirty minutes if I could.

But I couldn't. It was not meant to be. The moment I finished the thought, the door creaked open to admit Rin.

"You're up," she opened the door all the way and walked in, as elegant and poised as always, "I'm glad. Ootori-san only mentioned you'd sleep for awhile; I wasn't expecting you to be out for a full day."

Full day?! That explained why I felt so much better. Then again, considering the circumstances, it wasn't completely flabbergasting. I've been known for my sleeping habits (like my occasionally earth-shattering snores) and sleeping long and hard I have been known to do.

But still, a whole day?!

"Really?"

Rin nodded, "Yes, I was worried you would splinter the school's foundations, you were sleeping so deeply. It does make one wonder, though," she gave me a calculating look, "what brought on such necessity."

Ah, crap, I thought, she knows. I didn't even think for a moment she didn't, even though she implied ignorance. Rin always seems to know the cause of things like these.

"Ootori-san contacted me about your being, ah, near the third music room," she continued without waiting for my response, "I arrived and he suggested moving you here, though he seemed very reluctant to get up and help." So he was still sitting on his ass when he called for help. I should have expected as much.

"Did he say why I was face-down in the flooring?" It would figure if Kyoya had told her about my problem. After all, I had told him my only issue with giving the books to her was an excess of toys.

"No," she replied to my surprise, then revealed what she had been building up to, "But I'm sure it has everything to do with your great aunt Yuna visiting."

Not 'our', but 'your', because it has always been 'Taylor's great aunt Yuna'. The moment I was born, much of the Harding family sheared off any relation to my mother and twin sister. If only I hadn't been born first; they would have been far more content with Rin. No one dare admit it, but they liked the 'toy woman's girl' better than me. Inheritance sucks.

A startling realization hit me, "You didn't tell Mom, did you?!"

The last thing I need was Mom barreling up the drive with a megaphone to demand for me to be handed over so she can hijack me and screech away to who-knows-where. And she would. Given she knew it was Yuna visiting.

"No," Rin sighed. Undoubtedly she had a similar, less dramatic version of those events in her head as well, "But you do need a place to board."

"That's-!"

"Ootori-san mentioned you considering a room at 'an expansive mansion'," she interrupted astutely, "He obviously expected you to understand, but whatever he means, keep in mind that you are still very, very penniless."

Yes, dear Rin, I realize that. Never fear though, this offer probably involves things more humiliating than monetary rent.

But more importantly, why is Kyoya offering me a room at his mansion? Don't rich bastards like him have multiple estates? Probably is easier access to harassing me.

Before I could answer though, the door opened once more and in came Lousia.

"Rin-chan, there seems to be a problem involving Henry's telescopes and Cable. Their messages were 'Get Rin-taichou before anyone sees' and ah," Lousia smiled dryly, "'Call the paramedics, Capt'n!' respectively."

Rin smiled dryly as well and stood up, "I'm sorry, Taylor, but I'm afraid it's likely the school's ceiling beams have failed at an inopportune time. I'm sure we can finish our chat later." She said it without even laughing once, something I'm sure I couldn't pull off if I knew Cable had fallen from the sky. She bowed and left.

After I got the image of the espionage club in ruins out of my mind, I was left to ponder my choices. In reality, there were very little. Books blocked mere access to my room and after I paid the medical bills from that bad chicken, Obee-baba took the meager remainder, using my choice in wardrobe as basis for my 'poor spending habits'.

Danna-teme would know that, though. He would have something else (something probably border-line illegal and way-crossing-line unpleasant) lined up for me to do as rent. He was also the only one who offered. Lovely.

I managed to somehow slip out of the school while deep in thought without being caught for uniform violation, but I was still distracted by the time I had made good distance from the school.

So distracted I didn't feel the light drizzle.

Nor when it became a breezy shower.

Not even as it turned into a windy rain.

But I did notice horizontal downpour.


Author's Notes: Just so you know, that fourth period teacher…is based off my fourth block teacher last semester. She made a junior so freaked out, he declared "I peed myself a little just then." TWICE! She can be really scary, and she did one time stalk towards one guy (same junior) and slammed the insanely heavy textbook really hard on his desk in front of him. Her look said 'I rather bash this through your head'. (But don't worry, it was an awesome class. It was the first time I ever knew I was going to miss a piece of me by not having a class again)

One last note, while yes, I happen to not be Japanese, Taylor most certainly is. I want to apologize to everyone French, British, and especially American (no worries, I'm an American too. I just don't act it.) ahead of time. You'll see in the next chapter or so. Don't take it personally.