Disclaimer: Do not own the songs ever used in this story. Like I'd ever be talented enough to make them up on my own.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, they make me feel so special. :gives hugs all round: And to the numerous anonymous reviews I got, I'm glad you decided to review, they seriously brighten up my day. And make me update faster – and I make them longer too. Neways, this chapter is another very long one, with a bit of J/S fluff, and it has a Jesse POV (finally) in it.
Chapter 8 – The Conspiracy Of An Idiotic Teenager
The bottle had been practically filled to the brim, but now it was nearing the edge of the label halfway down. I just couldn't stop. It was like the minute the burning sensation receded, it needed to be there again. Anything to stop the stem of pain that I knew would hit me if I stopped.
My thoughts had gone into overdrive, and I wasn't even going to begin to decipher them. It was just too much emotion, something I'd thought I'd completely gotten rid of before.
Something especially before all of this happened.
With every swallow, the water surging in front of me and the feel of the cool sand beneath my toes became something far off, the sounds becoming compressed yet again as the alcohol took over. I tried to find my footing, but I couldn't seem to balance, my chest was too heavy…
With a thump I collapsed. The black hole was coming to capture me once more, and I released any hold I had left of consciousness. I heard heavy footsteps behind me, and the last thing I remember before conking out was being gently picked up, muffled words being muttered and then carried away.
I opened my eyes up the tiniest bit and light filtered into them like streams of whiteness set out to blind me. I closed them again almost immediately, the glare was so intense, and then squinted a little more until they adjusted from ongoing blackness to COLOUR, people.
I was in a bedroom I didn't recognise. And you know what? I'm sick of it up to here with waking up in strange places. Seriously. Up to here.
Sitting up and hit with yet another headache of the types I'm pretty much used to, I studied my surroundings. Unlike Paul's, this place had a very… warm feeling to it. Like the place I was, where I had woken up, was nice in a way I couldn't exactly describe.
I know. I'm still drunk, I bet.
And then, just on an impulse, I looked down. Whew. Still fully clothed. Alleluia.
Because last time I was in this situation? Yeah. Had just slept with a now total jackass of a cheating boyfriend whom I'd like nothing more than to bash the utter crap out of. Again.
What a toilet rush. And before 7 in the morning too. Nice.
Uh-huh. Paul had cheated on me. For who knows how long either? And with Debbie. DEBBIE! I mean, seriously. DEBBIE! DEBBIE? Like in that Eminem song 'Without Me', he says something like 'Fuck you Debbie!' or whatever. Okay. Freak out is over. I just feel stupid now. I felt like an empty shell, but there's still enough room to feel like a total tool.
Yes. Suze is a total idiot. Everyone stop and point. Now, point and laugh if it'll make you feel any better.
I finally turned to look out of the window that was shut, and saw that the fog was burning off. And then I looked at the figure sleeping in the beanbag in the corner, and let out a little scream of surprise. I sounded like I was on helium or something like that, because I sounded exactly like that chipmunk off that Lonely song.
And the person who was slumped on there wasn't someone I'd expected. Namely, because I hadn't seen him in a little over 3 weeks. Jesse. Holy crap… what did I do? Where am I? Why, above all, is he here?
Silently slipping out what I presumed was his bed – in his room too… god, I know they're on holidays and shit for Christmas, but I slept in his room, peoples – I slowly hobbled over to him and made sure he was still sleeping. Holy cow – this was not good. What happened to me last night, and caused me to wake up here this morning? And then I realised.
I'd fallen unconscious on the beach, and Jesse had picked me up and taken me to his house. How nice. Seriously, I wonder, did I put out to him too or something like the bona fide slut I am? I mean, I am in a skirt. Who knows what happened?
Locating my faithful JC's, I walked over to the door and quietly opened it, making sure Jesse didn't hear me and made my way down the stairs. I was hit with the massive lobby of his house. My god, is everyone in this god forsaken place super rich? It's not fair.
When I walked outside I tried to orientate myself. I'd never been to his house before, so I had no idea where I was. And then I had a semi-flashback:
FLASHBACK"Screw you," I said, punching him on the shoulder playfully.
Jesse rolled his eyes. "If you must know, I live out this way and I was walking home,"
"Then why are walking back? I thought you needed to go back as well," I demanded.
"Is it too much to ask to make sure you don't trip or something and knock yourself out again?" he stated, smiling sheepishly.
Okay. So he lived near the Big Sur cliff. No big. I'd find it, and then walk home. Unfortunately, walking home gives you a rather long time to think about what has happened. While wondering down a long dirt road that had led to his house – well, ranch, more like – I was mulling over how long he'd been unfaithful to me when I felt an abnormal sensation at the end of my nose, and a tingle that ran down my fingers to the tips. And then, to my horror, I felt droplets of water start oozing out of my eyes.
Oh my gah. I'm crying! Suze, get a freaking hold of yourself you baby!
Quickly getting rid of the wetness in case I ran into someone I knew (yeah, so it's 7 in the morning. Some people don't like sleeping in), I ran all the way home, before climbing up the tree. There I collapsed on my bed still fully clothed, and thought over everything from the night before.
I was so, so, so stupid to have thought that Paul was totally faithful to me. Just admit it to yourself Suze, how could you have been so sure? How could you have thought that Paul seriously respected you so much?
He didn't.
And if this was the case, which was likely, why did I care so much? Why was I crying – yes, guys, stop gaping at me – on my bed like I couldn't stop? I was weak I tell you. Totally weak.
I slipped on my pjs, and turned on my favourite CD at the moment – Evermore. Some Australian band, that, if you're in the right mood, can either cause you to mellow out or get depressed. Like Coldplay, but with more pianos.
Leave the TV on, to fill the empty air
Loneliness sinks in, like ink into my skin
And the song that was playing at the moment? So does not help at all. Nope. It was called Come To Nothing, and the guy was singing about his pain and sorrow, about a girl who had cheated on him.
I should have seen it all, the climb before the fall
I held to what we shared, but now it's disappeared
My situation, but reversed, ya know? At least it's nice to know that other people have been screwed over in their lives. But did he, like myself, lose everything you cared about to that person? Suddenly, I got so much madder, if that's possible.
If you ever get in my situation yourself (please don't, by the way, it sucks) a good punching bag – if you can't be bothered dragging your ass down to the real one – is a pillow. Seriously. And the best part is, it never punches you back. So I proceeded to take it out on my poor pink frilly pillow, finally throwing it across the room in a screaming rage.
By now, I guess you don't need me anymore
Alright, you know you don't fool me anymore
Tonight, you're burning another fire
My chest was heaving, and I was just concentrating on trying to get enough oxygen to my brain when the girl with black hair from Mina's group materialised in front of it.
This, of course, was both a surprise and a pain the ass. Can't you let a girl grieve?
And plot to kill?
"What?" I asked rudely. She looked behind her at the pillow on the window seat and raised her eyebrows.
"Anger management?" she asked.
"Plotting deaths," I snapped.
Her brows went even higher, as she walked over and sat on my bed. She looked quite content there, as if nothing was bothering her.
Except for her untimely death. Can't forget that.
"Um, why aren't you heading north?" I asked her bluntly, staring at her.
She shrugged. "I dunno,"
I leaned closer. "Aren't you afraid I'll blast you to the great beyond like your buddy?"
Now we've run out of time, out of luck, out of everything
Now you're gone, gone to find what you need, what I don't provideAgain, the girl shrugged. "Doesn't hurt me. I'm not scared of anything. I'm dead."
Ah. Well, that puts a nice perspective on things doesn't it? "Oh,"
"Yeah," she continued, "I just wanted to ask you if you could do something for me?"
I rolled my eyes. As usual, Suze Simon is not allowed to be sad. She is not allowed to have time to find out how many ways she hates thy Paul Slater, evil ex-boyfriend. She is not allowed to discover how to best break Debbie's plastic nose. "Okay. What?"
"Go to my funeral," she asked, looking all puppy-dog eyeish, "please?"
I was taken aback. "That's it?"
She nodded enthusiastically. "Please? I want at least one person to be there who knows the truth. Please? I won't ask you anything else,"
Okay. It can't be this easy. "That's it? You just want me to attend? No catches of any kind? Should I read the tiny print?"
"Nothing, I swear. Jeez. You mediators. You get all worked up over stuff that doesn't even matter,"
And if it comes down, between win or lose
If it comes down, you know I'd have to choose
"Oh yeah? And how many mediators do you know amigo?"
Her eyes widened at this. "You know him too? Oh, that's wonderful!"
I blinked. "What?"
She must have realised her error, because she said hastily, "Doesn't matter,"
"What's your name by the way?" I asked quickly, before she disappeared.
"Isabella Rickman," and she vanished.
My life, my dreams, my love has come to nothing…
It's come to nothing
Come to nothing
-§-
The funeral was depressing. I guess that's to be expected, considering she was murdered and all. Yeah. Try face down, floating in the river, half-eaten by the melting pot of animals that inhabit the water on for size. Uh-huh. That's the kind of state they finally found her body in a few days ago. Gross, I know. I mean, they couldn't even physically identify her. They had to do a DNA test.
So typically, the funeral wasn't an open-casket one either. But Father Dom was there, going on and on about how great a person Isabella was, and how the fact she's been ripped from this world was not an unjust punishment from God, but all part of a bigger plan for her greatness. Whatever.
Not having a face is your destiny of greatness? I never knew that.
Needless to say, a lot of people turned up. There was so much black, it almost made me change my wardrobe around (which has quite a bit of black in it).
There was just so much sadness in the air it nearly broke me, but everytime it nearly got to much, I just brushed my hand reassuringly against my pocket which held my favourite drink of all time. I was wearing my black leather jacket, so you couldn't notice. Besides, no one could get on my case about it. For one thing, you actually have to have people at the funeral who know you, which I didn't. And second, it was January. I don't think it's ever NOT cold in January thankyou very much, even in California.
At least, I thought I didn't know anyone at the funeral. Not then, anyway.
After we all paid our respects, I walked over to the seat that was overlooking the water. There, I finally slipped out the cruiser and began chugging it down for all it was worth. Just to let everything go…
"Drinking again, are we?" I heard a soft voice whisper in my ear, as a tanned hand was placed over the glass and gently pulled it away. I didn't even have to think about who it was.
I just knew. You know, I seem to have inherited a psychic ability, as of late, and I can always tell who it is.
Because the Spanish accent so was not a giveaway.
"What do you want?" I asked, not bothering to try and get it back. There was no point, I'd learnt, since this sort of thing only happened with amazing regularity. People taking my drink, like it was some major problem or something, I mean.
Like, its just VODKA. Jeez.
"You knew Isabella?" he asked.
I nodded my head a little. "Sort of. Not really. I mean, Do- David knew of her, so I decided to pay my respects,"
He seemed amused by this. "Oh really?" Jesse raised an eyebrow sardonically, "So if David knew her then why isn't he here too?"
Busted. But whatever. I shrugged. "Fine. Do I have to tell you why, seriously? I like going to funerals,"
"Either you're joking, or you seriously need a hobby," Jesse laughed softly.
I felt a cold finger poke my shoulder. Turning my head slightly, I saw Isabella's ghost. "Just tell him you dimwit, jeez!" she complained. I shot her a look that told her piss-off-if-you-know-what's-good-for-you. At least, I hope that's the message she got.
Until she had to do something so creepy, it made me want to get out of there. She walked over to Jesse's neck and blew on it, making him shiver. Great. So she was being a poltergeist. Ghosts like doing that. And then she brought her lips to his ear and whispered something I couldn't hear.
I sent her another look. He can't hear you, I tried to send telepathically, but she ignored me.
By the looks of it, Jesse had no idea that we had company. He just sat there, watching the occasional seagull fly past. And crab fly past.
Joking. Just said that to make sure you were listening properly. Which you were, right? I mean, this is my life story. What could be more interesting?
When Isabella didn't get the reaction she hoped for, she began concentrating on the bench we were both sitting on. Soon, we were both flying through the air, as the bench rose up and turned upside down, tossing us yonder.
After what felt like forever, I finally landed on something soft, which thankfully broke my fall. Same couldn't be said for Jesse, who was the thing I landed on. And we were sort of at close proximity, if you get my meaning. If the situation wasn't so weird, I might of realised how nice his chest felt beneath my own. Very slutty thought, I know, considering I haven't even been broken up with Paul for two days now, and all I am doing is falling on other guys.
Not technically on purpose, but does that matter?
"Dios, Susannah," he groaned in pain, trying to shift my elbow that had implanted itself in his stomach. Hard stomach, I must say. The guy obviously works out at least 4 hours a day or something. I think it hurt my elbow more than it hurt him.
"Sorry," I mumbled and rolled away, getting up to my feet. Isabella was standing two feet away grinning at her wonderful joke. "You are so going to die, bitch,"
She cocked an eyebrow.
"Again," I added.
"Who are you talking to?" Jesse asked cautiously, as he got up and brushed his pants off. He was wearing a look on his face that suggested in big, bold letters: We're on the right planet, but is she?
I smiled sheepishly as I turned around, ignoring Isabella who was laughing her head off. "Um. Alter ego. Gets the better of me sometimes, you know?"
"Uh-huh. So it wasn't just Isabella laughing at you right?"
"Damn straight it wasn- what the hell!" I looked at Isabella, who was nodding. "You can see her?"
He nodded. "Well, yes, that's obvious. I realised you could see ghosts when I found you fighting Trina and Greg,"
I swallowed the questions that were forming at an alarming rate. This was just WAY too much to process right now. "What?" I asked instead.
Jesse shook his head, and took my arm. "We should go for a walk. We have a lot to talk about,"
No kidding. And I still hadn't talked to him about last night either. Yay.
But did I really want to be on my own with Jesse? I mean, he lied to me once. He could be a total asshole for all I know. I'd have to ask someone later about him.
It was really unnatural how before the whole Paul-fiasco, being alone with a guy was no big deal. It didn't matter. I was so naïve then. But now I knew. All they did was use you for some reason, no matter how pathetic, and then hurt you.
"Um… I don't think so," I finally said. I could tell he was hurt by what I said, and dropped my arm like a hot potato.
"Okay then. I'll see you around alright?" he hurriedly excused himself.
"Wait," I said quickly. He stopped and turned around. "Um. Did anything happen, I mean, what happened last night?"
Hanging his head, he ran his fingers through his black hair and walked back up to me. "You were beating your boyfriend up. I stopped you, held you back. You took off. Fell unconscious on the beach. I took you to my place because I knew your parents would freak if I brought you to your home. That's all," he replied shortly, as if he couldn't be bothered. He was obviously annoyed at me for some reason.
"So nothing between us…?"
He gazed blankly at me for a second. "Of course not. Do you think I'd take advantage of you or something? What kind of person do you think I am?"
That's the problem. I don't know what to think anymore.
I tried to sound casual. "I just wanted to make sure I didn't do anything while I was drunk… because last time I couldn't remember I-" I broke off and coughed. "Doesn't matter,"
Jesse stopped the harshness and came up closer. "What happened?"
I shook my head. The memories just haunted me all the time… but I didn't want to go back on them. It just made the fact that Paul had betrayed me so much more difficult to bare.
"Well isn't this cozy? Always knew you were cheating on me with that dickhead," I turned around and saw Paul standing there with his arms crossed. I couldn't believe his nerve… it was the first time I'd come near him since Friday night. Well, he'd come near me. Whatever. I was about to lunge at him and prepare for round 2 when Jesse grabbed my waist and held me back.
"Slater. Apologize to Susannah, now," he said angrily.
Paul grinned slyly, and rocked his head from side to side with every word. "Fuck. Off. Rico."
I looked up at Jesse in shock and in my surprise saw his jaw twitch. Obviously Jesse could control his anger like nobody's business.
I'd give him 2 minutes.
Jesse's grip on my waist tightened, as though he was imagining it to be Paul's neck. I could practically feel the hate radiating off him. Being between the two was gonna be dangerous business, I knew that for sure.
Prying his fingers off my hips, I peeled away from Jesse. "You should go, now, I need to talk to Paul alone,"
Despite the situation, a small smile crept up on his lips. "Leave you alone with him? Do you think I'm stupid? You'll kill him,"
"I would do no such thing,"
"You'd kill each other,"
I sighed. "Please?"
Shaking his head, Jesse glared at Paul and went back over to a bunch of people that all had the same black hair and brown eyes. Must be his family.
I turned and looked at Paul. "You have a lot of nerve to come here and accuse me of cheating on you, bloody dickwad,"
He smiled again. "Suze. Come on. With Debbie? Would you think I would cheat on you with that?"
The denial option. My gaze remained stonily on his. "Quit the bullshit Paul. Just tell me something – how long?" it was the one question I'd wanted to know since forever.
Paul, the shit-buster, laughed. "I was not-"
"Paul," I warned.
He stopped laughing. "Fine. 3 months,"
I felt like a bus had just hit me. Twice. And again. 3 months? That was way before we'd first started sleeping together! It was around the time he'd first said he wanted to have sex in the first place. The ASSHOLE!
I caught him around the throat with my hands and we thudded onto the ground. "I can't BELIEVE you!" I screamed, all of the rage that had been somewhat suppressed in the last 2 days rising up again, "3 MONTHS! 3 FREAKING MONTHS?"
I swear if Jesse hadn't of pulled me off him I would have been tempted to kill him. My god. I couldn't believe it. I was hoping it had only just been recent, like a few days. I could have handled it better. But 3 months? I'd lost my virginity to a complete and total asswipe! I just wanted to kick the utter sassafrass outta the guy. I am so sure.
But most of all, it was the fact he even tried to deny it. I mean, Debbie herself had told me. And he tries to DENY it?
I can't believe he was EVER worthy of my knickers.
And my knickers were pretty. Blue and pink, with butterfly's and lace and…
Where was I? Oh yeah, mad at Paul.
"Jesse!" I panted, trying to get away from him. He had caught me around the stomach, like he was trying to perform some weird Heimlich manoeuvre. "Let me at him!"
"Let you at him? Uh, no." he replied sarcastically. Whoa. Jesse has sarcasm. That's amazing.
Paul got up off the floor. "You bitch!" he yelled, rubbing his throat, "I can't believe I was ever with you!" Ha. I could say the same thing about you. "You're an ugly whore anyway. Have fun with your Spanish guy," he finished, and strolled off.
A whore? A WHORE? I had stopped struggling when he called me bitch, but I had started up again. Sure, I know I'm not a total supermodel or anything, but that was seriously low of him.
"Susannah, SUSANNAH!" I stopped. Jesse had never raised his voice at me before.
"What?" I snapped.
"Don't let him get to you, Susannah. You know what he says is not true,"
I felt so close to tears it isn't funny. "Jesse, please, I HAVE to do this,"
Jesse wrenched my body around so I couldn't see Paul's retreating figure anymore, and sat me down on the grass. "You don't have to do this Susannah! Now, can you explain why I can't leave you alone with him for 3 seconds without having to stop attempted murder?" he looked down at me.
So, so close to tears right now. I could feel my eyes getting itchy. But I WOULD NOT cry in front of Jesse. I do not cry in front of people. Suze Simon, cold-hearted bitch, does NOT cry.
"I don't want to say. No, actually, I WON'T say, so stop asking me," I said angrily.
He said a bad word in Spanish. Ha. He's probably giving up on me. I knew I wasn't worth the effort. "I am trying to understand you," Jesse said, frustrated, "but you won't let me,"
"Maybe," I offered, "It's because I don't trust people anymore. How about that?"
Screwing up his eyebrows, he said "You won't trust people? You seemed to have trusted Paul,"
Note the whole past tense thing. "Exactly,"
We sat in silence for a while, neither of us saying what we wanted to. I was dying to know about the whole Mediator thing, but held my tongue. So what, he was a mediator too. No big – I only know 3 others who have the same ability. But I wanted to know so badly what he knew about Trina and Greg, and if he knew any of the other ghosts I'd come across. Jesse seemed to know something about the Mediator subject that I didn't.
Finally, I breathed out a sigh and said quietly, "Thanks," Jeez. Why did I say that anyway? Oh yeah, coz he looked after me when I was out of it. Yeah. That's it.
He seemed surprised. "For what?"
"Friday night," I admitted, not looking at him. How did it come to this? Usually I'm cool around guys.
But that was before…
I wasn't going to get involved with anyone else for… forever, pretty much. I have had enough of being used. I was officially boy-cotting my life.
So in other words, those feelings I had when I landed on top of Jesse? Suddenly, not so good. I couldn't, you know, like him. As if. He was like, 2 years older than me.
And friends with Sleepy. I think that's pretty much self-explanatory.
I don't like Jesse. Never have, never will.
Yeah.
I am so screwed.
-§-
Not surprisingly, Dopey barely had come out of his room since Friday. I mean, it's no shock. We were both hurting, on account of the fact our respective boyfriend/girlfriend were cheating on us and everything. What shocked me the most was that I was angrier with Paul than with Debbie.
Sure, I was more than pissed with the girl, but after she called me soon after coming back from the funeral on Sunday, I didn't hate her that much.
Still did, mark my words, but just not as much.
Sleepy had given me that phone without telling me who it was. I guess if he had, I wouldn't have talked.
"Hello?"
There was a momentary silence on the other end before she mumbled, "Suze, please, don't hang up on me, I need to talk to you,"
My finger was so close to pressing the off button, but then decided not to. "Fine. Talk."
Debbie breathed a sigh of relief, one which almost made me consider hanging up again. "Thankyou. Oh my god Simon, I am so, so, so-" if she says so one more time I am hanging up, "-sorry about what happened. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I never got the nerve." Am I supposed to be feeling sorry for her right about now?
News flash: I feel more sympathy for Osama Bin Laden.
"Were you ever going to tell me?" I snapped.
She sounded taken aback. "Um. I might have, maybe."
"Like, after maybe 6 months, instead of 3?"
Debbie started crying. I could hear her gasping sobs. "My god, I never meant to hurt you, I didn't! I swear. I just… Paul has this thing over you…"
No kidding dude.
"and I just gave into him. I never meant to, and I've been feeling soo guilty about this since forever," I guess that explains the weirdness, "and when I finally told Kelly, she insisted I don't wait any longer. She said something about you sleeping with him," oh, gee, thanks a lot Kelly, "and because, well, I had as well, I knew I definitely had to stop."
The news that he was having sex with her seriously didn't rock my boat. I figured that much on Friday, from the way she was finding it so hard to tell me.
But if she was expecting me to forgive her, it wasn't coming. I fed her silence. Nothing but silence.
"And I felt soo bad, like, seriously Suze. You have no idea how much it was killing me. And when I saw how you reacted," I guess knocking yourself out is a pretty nice explanation of how you're feeling and all, "I felt even worse. Really bad. Brad's not talking to me either,"
No shit Sherlock. I still answered her with silence.
"I know Brad must be feeling really bad," okay. Now she's just telling me she has a high opinion of herself. I mean, how does she know that Dopey is moping around? Okay, he is, but whatever.
"Brad isn't feeling bad Debbie," I finally said, "he went to a party last night with another girl,"
That stunned her a little, and she replied in a tiny voice, "I deserve it I guess,"
"Yes, you do," Hey, she was apologizing to me for having sex with Paul behind my back. What am I supposed to do, be nice?
Invite her over for pancakes and coffee?
Uh, I don't think so.
"Are you done?" I snapped.
"Um," Debbie sounded taken aback, "I just wanted you to know that I know what I did was horrible, dishonest, and I am a total bitch," try major bitch, and we might be getting somewhere, "but I never meant to hurt you,"
"Are you done?" I repeated.
"Well, yes-"
And then I hung up. Throwing the phone onto my bed, I walked across the hall and banged on Dopey's door.
"What?" he gruffed from inside. I barely heard him above the pounding of the music.
"Can I just talk to you for a sec?" I shouted.
He didn't answer, so I opened up the door. I had been in here once again, and I don't think it had changed all that much. Dopey was lifting weights, more so lately than ever. I had a feeling it was his release, like punching the shit out of objects was mine. Walking over to the stereo I turned the blaring sounds of the Prodigy down to a minimum so he could hear me.
"What do you want?" he asked rudely.
"Debbie called-" I began.
He said a swear word.
"And she just sorta rambled, and then said she was sorry for what she did to you," I said, before walking towards the door. What he did next shocked me so much it would have to go down somewhere in the Guinness.
"Are you okay Suze?"
I stopped, and turned around. "Excuse me?"
He rolled his eyes. "I said 'are you okay?'"
I blinked. "Oh, yeah, great,"
"Because you don't look it, no offence,"
"None taken," I muttered, as I walked out of his room and slammed the door. The music was turned back up upon my retreat so it reverberated throughout the house again. I made my way to my room, and was just about to straighten my hair when Kelly called.
She asked me if I was okay, and all that jazz. And how worried they were when I left… so worried obviously, they didn't bother to follow me at all. Anyway, she started defending Debbie's motives.
"Seriously Suze, you can't totally blame Debbie, it was Paul's fault too you know,"
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Kells. Of course it was. But you know, obviously Debbie doesn't have a lot of will, because resisting Paul isn't that hard you know,"
Kelly snorted into the receiver. "Right Suze. You only slept with him half a dozen times," I RESENT that! "And you're talking to me about control?"
I didn't answer her back.
"But come on, I mean, please just look at it from Paul's perspective," I'd rather not, "You didn't want to have sex for ages. You were always pushing him away. So he found someone who wouldn't,"
"That is not the same thing! Just because I wouldn't put out doesn't mean I never would have," Okay, not the truth. I wouldn't have put out to Paul. But then I got drunk and… I think we know what happened.
"What do you expect Suze? Paul's hot. A lot of people would find it hard to resist a guy like him,"
Ugh. I can't believe I'm even talking about this! "Whatever," I mumbled, and hung up on her.
I walked into the bathroom, plugged my trusty straightener into the power point and glanced at my reflection.
Oh yeah, by the way, have I ever mentioned just how happy I am that my heart is quite strong? Because what I saw could make anyone susceptible to a heart attack.
Not my reflection you moron. I'm talking about what was written on the mirror, in bold red lipstick.
Soon
Just one word that filled my body with a lot of dread.
Because it's exactly what I'd been fearing. That guy on the loose… the same one who tried to capture me all those weeks ago – he knew who I was. And where I lived.
I didn't freak out, like Tara Reid in Josey and the Pussycats, where she's in the shower singing 'If you're happy and you know it' and when she steps out and sees her mirror she screams and stuff.
Nah, with me it's much more subtle.
I burnt my finger on the straightener of course. Duh.
But, I know you're saying, how can you be so sure about that?
Maybe it's because that is the one thing I'd been waiting for. I'd just been waiting for the day he comes after me again. I'm not stupid – that month ago he had meant to make me join Mina, Dana, Lucy, Amy, Isabella and the others.
And the word I used to sum up my current situation?
"Duck" or at least a swear word that rhymes with it.
I was in trouble.
-§-
I chose not to tell anybody about the word. Pathetic, I know. That might, as usual, have saved me later on. But I didn't do it. I didn't let anyone know, mostly because I thought I was overreacting.
All it was, besides, was a word. Just one. It didn't mean a lot at all.
So for the days that followed it, I forgot about it
I sorta had different things to worry about, namely school. Kelly understood I was a 'little' mad at her, Debbie knew I probably would punch her if she spoke to me, and Paul stayed away from me to avoid getting his nose broken. Jules thought the whole situation was paranormally funny.
She actually inhaled the soda she was drinking when they got to the part where I tackled Paul at the party.
Yes, isn't it funny?
Roxy was the tiniest bit more sympathetic, saying I'm lucky Paul didn't press charges or anything. I guess I can be thankful for that, but he wouldn't have anyway.
He's just not the snitching type person.
But he is the life-ruining person, you can bet your cheese on that.
But the surprise came after school on Thursday, after my Taekwondo lesson at the Y. A phone call.
Yes. Another one.
I answered it normally with a lil' old "Hello?"
"Soon," was all they said. I couldn't pick up the voice, because it was muffled beyond belief, but it was definitely the guy.
I dropped the phone, and quickly pressed the off button. Sitting on my bed I tried to breathe a little, when it rang again. Snatching it up, I shouted into the receiver "Piss off you freaking perv!"
"Uh Suze? It's me, Gina,"
I nearly dropped the phone, but for an entirely different reason. "G-Gina?"
"Yo, that's me. Are you okay? You sound uh… weirded out,"
Understatement of the year.
"I'm fine, seriously. So what's up?"
"The sky," she answered smartly back, "actually, I'm ringing to let you know that I'm coming your way this weekend!"
I breathed. "You lie,"
"Nope, girl, I'll be hitting California very soon!"
Blinking, I stuttered, "How? I thought your mum said she couldn't send you all the time and-"
"No, we didn't win the lotto – I wish, she just saw how much I missed ya and gave me the ticket and shit. So is it alright if I come?" she laughed.
"Are you kidding girl? Come here pronto,"
Gina snorted. "Aren't you gonna ask first?"
Oh right. My bad.
But they said it was excellent, which is how I found myself at the airport, hugging Gina when she arrived. "Dude, this is awesome!" she gushed.
Then she looked at me and cocked her head. "What's up? You look different since my last trip to California," (A/N: Let's just say everything in Shadowland, Ninth Key and Reunion – as well as meeting Paul – happened, except of course Jesse wasn't a ghost okies?)
I shrugged. "The grande Californian diet of alcohol and chocolate. Try it sometime," Gina shook her head and laughed, slinging her arm over my shoulder.
"So… where's Jake?"
I backed away as they did their little reconciliation thingy. Dopey seemed more excited than usual, probably because he doesn't have Debbie anymore to hold him back from winning Gina's affections. Like, gag me right now please.
By Friday night, Gina had known everything there was to know about the things that had happened, when she hit me with a bombshell.
"So Simon, obviously Paul wasn't the Guy,"
My stomach dropped. I remembered back to when she was last here, and freaking out because she thought Michael was my one true love that would last eternity. Then when I got with Paul, she presumed it was him.
"Obviously not," I replied shortly, not wanting to go into it.
Gina didn't get the hint though. "Who could it be though? Like any guys at the moment?"
The first name that popped into my head embarrassed me so much, I quickly said, "Jeez, Gina, I just broke up with Paul. What do you think?"
"Get real babe, there must be someone,"
"Why?"
She looked clueless. "Well, it's just, if you didn't, wouldn't you think you'd be hurting over Paul a lot more? But you seem to be sorta okay with it,"
I answered her quickly, hoping to get her off the subject. "No, there is no dream rebound guy at the moment. You'll be the first to know when there is okay?"
Gina sighed, and shovelled some chips into her mouth. "Man, there is no juicy gossip around here is there?"
I just laughed, and threw a chip into her copper hair. Last time I'd seen her she had them in braids, but now it was just as it always was – soft, flowing and completely gorgeous.
And it turns out the hair is the only thing that's changed. Gina still knows everyone.
"Jesse!" she cried the next day when he came over to study with Jake. She leapt into his arms and hugged him tightly. "My god, how long has it been?"
"Way long," he answered, trying to breathe as she wringed his neck.
I must have looked clueless, because Jesse explained that he was a friend with one of her brothers when he used to live in Brooklyn. I'm not kidding – the guy lived in New York too.
Holy crapola, my life is getting weirder by the second.
This fact was especially scary, considering I might have actually met him once before – when I was really young though and I had slept over at Gina's, and her brother's friends had been there. I never really paid much attention, but Jesse said he moved to Carmel when he was 12. I just couldn't believe that Gina had known him all along. She didn't seem surprised that we had met here either.
"Well duh Simon, he's friends with Jake after all,"
I just rolled my eyes at this response. I usually don't make a habit of talking to everyone like she does.
Andy, being the wonderful cook that he is, asked Jesse to stay for dinner. It was a little awkward, sharing a table with him, but I got over it after a while. His manners were, like, totally great, and I could tell mom was practically falling in love with him over the dinner rolls.
Except for the fact that she is, of course, already married to Andy and hopelessly devoted to him. I found I couldn't stop thinking about the phone call I'd received a few days before, and it kept reminding me that the shit would hit the fan really soon.
And I sure as hell didn't like that idea.
By the time we had finished, Gina and I hit the sack, and I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.
And that one word haunted my dreams.
Soon
Jesse's POV
The party had been practically out of control, alcohol being served to anyone that could drink it.
Suddenly, there was a crash of chairs, and a few people started shouting. I made my way to the scene and saw Susannah beating her boyfriend Paul.
Without thinking, I strode forward and broke them up. And I have to hand it to Susannah – she is tough when she wants to be. I only just managed to keep her subdued, against her struggling. Paul was helped up and asked her if she was high.
"Eat shit Paul," was all she said, and with a tug that took me by surprise, she ran towards the front door. The minute I saw her grab a bottle of straight vodka, I ran after her.
She ran down to the beach, and was guzzling it down like there was no tomorrow. I had just reached her when she slipped out of consciousness - and now was not the time to be unconscious on a beach, with the serial killer out there somewhere.
Gently picking her up, I parted her hair and swept it away from her face, taking in her beauty. She didn't look her best at the moment, but it didn't matter. She'd always be beautiful to me. I knew what I had to do, but I didn't know if I should. Could I take her to my house to rest? If I knew Susannah at all, she wouldn't react very well to it at all.
Put it simply, mi querida would go over the roof to wake up in someone's house she didn't know that well. But what it came down to is either I did that, or she be left here. And there would be no way I would do that.
"Dios, Susannah, what have you done to yourself?" I muttered.
Walking back up to the party, I found my car and laid her down in the backseat, before driving to my house. My parents and sisters were already sound asleep when I arrived, so I managed to take Susannah up to my room without a fuss. I knew they would all disapprove of her sleeping in my room, but there was nowhere else to put her.
I put her on my bed gently, and stood there watching her sleep for a little while. I stroked her cheek with the back of my fingers, and ran my hands through her hair. She would never know – she could never know – how I felt about her, my true feelings. At least, not now. Something had happened with her boyfriend, and even though I wanted to know, I knew I couldn't ask her right now. So instead I watched her sleep for a little while.
Even though Susannah probably did not know it, she would always be protected by the necklace she wore. The necklace I gave her of an Egyptian Shaman. Because that's what she was. A shifter, just like me. She had more power than she had ever dreamed of.
Summoning up my courage, I bent down and lightly kissed her forehead, hoping that she wouldn't wake"I don't think you'll ever realise just how beautiful you are querida," I breathed, and sat on the beanbag in the corner. I wanted to watch her all night, but unfortunately sleep overtook me. I would wake up early, so I could explain everything in the morning.
Unfortunately, by the time I had awoken, she had disappeared through the open window. I silently cursed myself for not writing a note. She must have thought I was perverted to have done this. I looked at the clock, and it displayed half-past 8. Something told me that she had been long gone.
I didn't see her again until the funeral of Isabella Rickman. My younger sister Josefina had been devastated when they found her body, since Isabella had been a friend of her's, so we went along to pay our respects. I noticed at the start of the session Susannah standing by herself, looking unhappy.
And I guess at a funeral that's what happens. But I also figured out that Isabella had come to her, just like me, and asked her to attend the funeral, since she was of no connection with her otherwise. I caught up to her after the funeral sitting on a bench, drinking more alcohol. This made me fairly angry. Why she kept doing this, drinking so excessively was beyond me. I did not understand why, but I knew she wouldn't tell me. She's a very enclosed person.
During the day she put up a wall, a barrier between who I know she was and who she pretended to be. But while I watched her sleep, I could see right through that barrier into what she really was – a sweet, loving and caring girl. If only she'd been exposed to a different environment, things might have turned out better for her. Nothing bad might not have happened to her.
Isabella had shown up soon after, being the little con artist that she is. She had this weird idea that we were made for each other. Not only is that embarrassing, I was hoping beyond hope she hadn't mentioned anything to Susannah. I was not interested in her knowing my affections for her yet.
I knew she could hear Isabella, but she pretended she couldn't hear anything. I did the same thing when Isabella began blowing on my neck and whispering into my ear "Just kiss her already, gosh!".
Finally, we were thrown into the air, and to my horror, on top of each other. Give me a break – I am a guy. And I couldn't help but have impure thoughts about her just then, even though I knew I shouldn't. That, and the fact her elbow was embedded in my stomach, made me push her off.
Because I knew that if she had of stayed there any longer, I probably would have kissed her.
Not long after, Paul showed up again, causing mayhem like he usually does.
He even insulted mi querida at one stage, and I could understand why Susannah had wanted to beat him up. I had to do everything I could not to rush him as well. But I held her back, while trying to control my temper.
My mistake, of course, was leaving her with him. Did I mention that Susannah has a particularly strong will? I had to do everything I could to avoid her from strangling him once I peeled her off Paul once more.
It had hurt when she said that she doesn't trust anyone, but I knew that it was to be expected. Even though it was really hard to take, the fact she wouldn't tell me, I had to live with it. While Susannah was angry at the world, I couldn't do anything to help her, no matter how hard I tried.
I was also thoroughly convinced she didn't like me all that much until she thanked me for Friday night. That gave me the tiniest bit of hope.
At least, until I talked to Gina when she visited Susannah. I was amazed that Gina knew her, because I had known Gina from quite a long time ago. She had pretended to go to sleep, but had snuck back out and down the hallway to where I was chatting to Jake.
"We need to talk,"
I nodded, and followed her down the stairs into the backyard. I could see the bay window of Susannah's room open above the porch roof.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
She sighed, and leaned up against the tree. "It's Simon. How long has she been like this?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"
"Like this!" Gina gestured to the open window, "She's so different! I was putting my things away yesterday and I found a stash of empty alcohol bottles underneath her bed,"
So Gina had noticed as well. I looked at the ground, and kicked a pine cone. "She has been like this for quite a while now, but it's gotten even worse lately,"
"Why?"
Shrugging, I stared up at the moon. "Something happened with Paul. I'm not sure what, she won't tell me herself."
Gina nodded. "Yeah, I get that. She's a pretty hard person to open up. I'm not surprised."
I sat down on the floor and watched her pace. "I can't do anything – I'll be leaving in a few days. But you," she pointed at me, "you can help her,"
"I can't, she won't let me. Believe me, I've tried so hard to," I admitted.
She shook her head and slumped down next to me.
"What are we going to do?" she asked angrily, "I don't want my best friend to throw away her life like this. The person you know – the Suze you know – it's not her,"
I nodded.
"Just promise me one thing Jesse," Gina asked, "look after her when I go back to New York,"
I knew I couldn't make any promises. This was Susannah, who never listened to anyone else. She was a difficult person to get through to, and I know she probably never listened to me whenever I did try. But I did it anyway. "I promise,"
Gina bounded off into Jake's room, and I found the urge to see Susannah again too strong. Quietly, I slipped into her bedroom and watched her sleep, her face screwed up in what appeared to be a disturbed expression. "Soon," she mumbled, and tossed her head.
Even though I knew I shouldn't have, I snuck another light kiss on her forehead. With one last look at Susannah, I got up and I was about to walk out when I heard a thump coming from one of her bathroom windows. Making my way there, I switched on the light and felt my mouth hit the floor when I read the words smeared on her mirror with what appeared to be red lipstick.
I'm coming for you…
A/N: So do you like? No like? This is my first attempt at a 21st century Jesse POV, so please tell me how I did. Please? Criticise me if it was terrible. Anyhoo, there was a leetle bit of fluff in here – I couldn't make it too much because there is other stuff that's gotta happen first, but believe me, it's coming. Anyway, the faster you review, the faster the next chapter will go up! Oh yeah, and more fluff every chapter too.
Tuna pretzels, dugong eggs and mushroom legs… the goodness of life © (copyrighted by me, since one of my friends insists on stealing it all the time :cough: shonza :cough:)
Luv Sarah xoxo
desesperado en amor: I am so sorry about what happened to your friends, here's a virtual hug for you! I hope this chapter cheered you up a little.
Mrs. Wilkins de-silva: Lol Nikki, nothing gets past you aye? Hmm, why doesn't she know… good question. Thanks for reviewing!
Melissa Trent: He might be the one she should trust, I don't know. I have no idea myself. :whistles: I'll just go check with the author… which is me. Lol. Can't tell you at the moment.
Breaking.Benajmin: Arr! You changed your name! Lol, I figured it was you anyway. OMG, you like Story of the Year too? I read your profile a while back… whee! Anyway, thanks for your as usual awesome review, they make me smile – and drool cheese. The mushroom thing is big over here… and I'M freaked out now, because you use the same words as me:currently freaked out: Anywhoo, um… what's a moustache mean in prison? I has no idea!
sioghsiofgh: She'll get better soon, I promise. Thanks for reviewing!
Kitty-Skittelz: You got it wrong darl – chocolate spoons, vanilla knives, butterscotch forks. Thanks for reviewing (C ya 2moz).
xoMirollie246: Whee! She did it excellently? Oh my… :faints: I'm so excited that people actually liked it! I was sorta scared it was a bit out of character, but apparently no one thinks so. So I feel special. And Miranda, totally spot on about Debbie lol. Hope this chappy was okay!
Golden Angel71: She'll find out who gave it to her soon, I promise. Thanks for liking my story – and reviewing it too!
kellie: Thanks so much! Hope you liked this update.
Lauren: Thanks for reviewing – it gives me a good idea of how many people are actually reading this story (a major on the motivation stakes). Neways, hope you liked this chapter!
channie: Your favourite chapter:hugs you: Aww, I feel happy now. Anyway, hoped you liked this chapter!
winnie: Thanks so much! Hope you like this one.
DealNonDraco: :gasp: YOU STOLE MY SAYING SHONZA! I copyrighted it! Lol, just kidding… and since I sorta have to sit next to you in homeroom I'll learn to deal. Someday… thanks for reviewing!
Angel In The Shadows36: Paul is a jerk. Which is why I'm having so much fun writing this fic now… coz I can make him that way. And I love Jesse soooo much. He is my one and only. Thanks for adding me to your favourite stories… and I'm IN LOVE with Love and Marriage… update it soon please?
DemonicBallerina: Thanks for the review! Hope you liked this chappy!
