The sun shined in a bright flash on my eyelids. My lids flinched open and I shied my face away from the sun rays coming out in thin sharp lines from the window shades. I breathed in sharply and buried my face in my soft pillow. I turned a bit and opened my eyes, they were in such a position that no one would be able to see I had them slightly open. My hair covered the top half of my face. As I opened my eyes and my gaze fixated to the wooden doors and an Emilie Autumn poster, I nearly screamed. James was there, in the tight spaces of the door slightly and barely open. His face was staring at us, and his eyes glazed with a sick lustful expression. I felt my lip tremble, and I realized I couldn't move. I couldn't even gasp. Everything was too sharp of lines. Like the vector shapes of a digital image. The shadows enveloped his form, like a dark mist, and only the whites of his eyes glared back clearly and brightly. A thin line of light from the window shades slid across the mid of his eyes and the bridge of his nose. I was paralyzed. Someone help. Oh God, his stare has immobilized me. I can't...
"James..." I whispered unconsciously. My vision blurred in my left eye as tears spilled out.
No shocked reaction, no slight gasp... he smiled darkly. I immediately sat up with a jolt. His smile widened and he turned and left. I wanted to scream, and I wanted to cry, but Bebe woke up next to me.
"Hmm, that was a good sleep." She slid her arm around my waist and tugged as if to say lay down again. "What are you doing sitting up. It's like seven, Wends."
I couldn't answer her, my voice would squeak. My voice would give me away. I can't do or say anything. If I move, I'll scream for sure.
"Wends?" I felt her sit up. She leaned fowards and I stayed. I can't move. I can't or I'll scream. She saw me, she saw my tears and my expression. What do I say? What do I do?
"Wends? Are you okay?" She asked worried and serious.
I can't move. I'll scream! I can't move! My throat is tightening. I can't breathe!
"WENDY!" She screamed almost angrily.
I flinched and looked at her. I snapped out of it. The tightness is half gone, and I can speak and move again.
"Oh... uh. Sorry. Bad dream." I smiled with wide eyes still full of fear. My head bowed down in embarrasment.
"Was it that bad?" She asked.
I simply nodded, feeling the tears swell up and spill already. "Can... Can you lend me your shoulder?" I said with a trembling voice.
She nodded and I cried quietly on her. During which I almost felt eyes on me from the door's crack. I didn't dare look, and I cried harder. Go away, James. Please... just go.
After a while I calmed down and she and I went down for breakfast. I had to get a grip of myself. I had to calm down. I need to calm down. She had her arms slumped around my like yesterday morning. "I'm not good in the mornings." She chuckled as she trudged down reluctantly. "Couldn't we have stayed and slept for like a billion years?" She joked.
"I'm hungry." I lied. I had to go down there. For my sake. I had to face him. I had to face this. Kyle is coming soon. Nothing will happen to me. Bebe is here. Kyle wouldn't let anything happen to her.
I saw him waiting by the front door with coffee in his hands. He glanced up and without so much of an emotion, I felt like he was almost challenging me. Was... was he daring me? To what? Tell! I nearly gasped from the realization, but I held it in. He has something planned. He has something planned. What is it? What can he possibly have up his sleeves? I felt my face whiten. Bebe suddenly stopped and turned to me.
"Is everything alright?" I asked her.
"Yeah..." She said almost suspiciously. I must be imagining.
As we ate, I tried to be casual about things, but something was wrong with Bebe. Is it because I cried on her this morning? I've done so before. She's done so when she's had a bad dream. There's nothing to be suspicious about.
"Can you get me my jacket Wends? I just got a text from Kyle that he's coming to pick us up." She was almost beaming when she hinted at the baby and Kyle being a good father.
"Sure." I said, and climbed up the stairs to my room.
When I got there, I found her jacket. I picked it up and when I turned James was standing directly in front of me. I almost screamed but he pressed his hands against my lips. He pushed me on the bed and he trapped me by placing his knee aginst the edge of the bed, over my body.
He bent down to my ears while I trembled. He said, "You're being too obvious." His whisper was cold and cruel. "Stop raising suspicion if you don't want me to punish you later." I squeaked softly in terror. He used his other hand to pull my hair back. I didn't dare let out a scream. "Don't you dare make a noise. Once I'm done with everything, that fat boy won't be able to protect you any longer." He hissed in my ears. "If your friend down there even shows the slightest sign of suspicion, I will not hold back." He grinned sickly and placed his lips against my neck. I shivered and felt tears swell up in my eyes. He licked me and tighten his grip of my body with his legs. Not here. Oh God not here.
And just as fast as he came, he abruptly left. He left the room completely and went into his office.
"Hey Wends? You found my jacket yet?" I heard Bebe call out to me.
Speak. "Y-yeah! It took a while to find. It was under the bed. You're such a restless sleeper." I joked. "I'm coming down." Move. I started to walk out of my room and I glanced to James office. He was standing there, looking at me harshly. It was as if he was telling me "or else". I trembled slightly and continued to walk. I had to take away the expression on my face before I reached down the stairs. I closed my eyes and breathed. When I saw Bebe, I had such a fake smile on my face. I hated it. I looked so fake, I know it. Still, she didn't seem to notice. I turned and noticed Kyle standing by the doorway.
"Ready?" He asked Bebe. She nodded and Bebe steped forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. I followed along coyly. So this is how people usually felt when tagging along with Stan and me. I feel like I'm intruding on them. Like I'm the third wheel. I guess I am.
"Dude, guess where we're going?" Kyle asked.
"We're going somewhere?" Bebe said.
"It was Token's idea." Kyle said. I jolt a little at the mention of my ex-boyfriend's name. Although I was about nine when I dated Token, Stan still gets pretty jealous when I hang out with him. Please let Stan be wherever we're going. "He wants a bunch of us to go to the arcade." He turned to me. "Wanna come? Stan'll be there." Oh, I see. Bebe didn't even know I was coming. She must think I'm weird because I was following them outside. If anything I'll just say that I was going to bid them goodbye outside and them go back inside.
"Well, sure. But won't everyone be surprised when they see this?" I pointed to the bruise on my face.
"Just tell them what you told me." Bebe giggled. "Jeez, you worry too much, hun. Where's the confidence you always carry? You seem out of it lately." She said.
I straightened up. "It's here. What? I'm not allowed to be human once and a while?" I laughed. I can't give her any suspicions. I hate having to play two-faced. I hate having to pretend I don't want to cower under the covers all the time. I wasn't ever this way... why am I so insecure and shy now? Oh... that's right. Something I did. The reason James acting like this... it's because of something I did. I did something to trigger it didn't I? Maybe I wasn't decent enough at home and he got tempted. Maybe I did something that he's punishing me for. Maybe it's because I'm interferring with my mother's happiness. I didn't like him in the beginning, so maybe he noticed and is punishing me for not being happy for my mom. I get it, James. I do. So I'll be quiet. I'll stay quiet and I won't tell her. I won't ever tell her. I don't want to be the reason she's unhappy. I don't want to be at fault. I don't like this heavy burden I'm already carrying. I don't want to make it heavier.
I saw Kyle smile sadly at me. "We're going to the arcade." Was it because he knows why I'm off lately. It can't be about the confidence thing... that would mean that someone told him. Also, how could anyone tell him if no one knows. No one but me. Sure I wrote it all in my diary, but- wait... my diary went missing... didn't James take it? My eyes widened and my expression turned into a glare. During the whole ride there, I was glaring daggers at Kyle. He knows about my diary someway or another. Still, he's not one to pry into the personal space of others. He could never have... THAT BASTARD! It was Cartman, wasn't it! That's how he knows everything. I hope for his sake Cartman's not there in the arcade, because if he is... there will be no escape!
We stopped at the mall and went towards the arcade. I took Bebe's hand away from Kyle. "I'm playing bully-Kyle today." I simply said haughtily. Kyle looked shocked and confused. Bebe just giggled, since she loves to play games with everyone.
"Okay, but how come?" She asked eagerly.
I turned back to Kyle, in a way that Bebe could not see my face, and said with a dark expression, "He knows why, along with Cartman." He looked taken aback... then he had a sense of realization in his eyes. He averted his eyes in shame and followed behind us.
"Cartman?" Bebe asked.
"You know that fatass is an asshole." I said. "I just didn't think Kyle would play along."
"Ah, I see. You joined in their mental game or something. You three are always keen on psychological warfare." She laughed lightly. "It's almost like you all know each other's motives. Though I'm surprised, Wends. You never ever bash head with Kyle."
"Well, that's my fault, babe. Let Wendy pout as long as she wants. She just figured something out, that's all." Kyle said behind us.
"Is Cartman going to be there?" I asked without turning back.
"Yeah." He answered.
I felt the corners of my lip twitch up. "Good." I said darkly.
Bebe giggled. "You looked so scary, hun!" She giggled as we walked faster away from Kyle.
Kyle groaned in annoyance. "Don't play along with her, babe." He called out to Bebe.
"Sorry darling, but chicks before dicks." She giggled.
Kyle looked almost offended by the phrase. He pouted like the hot-tempered Jew he is. What? Girls can't have their own phrase that mirrors, "Bros before hoes?"
When we got there, I saw Token, Stan, Clyde, Red, Tweek, and the Fatass himself. I didn't even say anything to Stan, didn't even glance at him as he waved. I fixated my gaze on the fatass and walked directly at him. The others seemed confused, but at the moment I was so pissed I had to let it out. He backed up a little in the same confused manner, and I kneed him where it hurts. He fell to a thud and groan and I kept walking towards the paying counter without so much as a word or glance.
"What the fuck... you b-bitch!" Cartman let out after a while.
"That was awesome!" Clyde said cheering. Token politely dismissed the concerned witnesses. Stan came behind me and gave me a giant kiss. He had a huge, proud smile in his face. Good, let them all watch. Let them smile. That fatass deserves it. In the background I heard Tweek scream in anxiety. Red calmed him down.
I turned around and waited for them all to pay. Kyle helped up the fatass while containing a laugh.
"What're you laughing about, Jew!" Cartman growled.
Hmph. Let him be pissed. Good.
I don't care.
oOo
What. The. Fuck. Just. FUCKING. HAPPENED!
I was getting all fucking psyched that the plan was working and that no one suspected anything. If they did, it would ruin everything and she wouldn't be safe. I went to the arcade and had to take the annoyance of Butters along the ride (he's in the bathroom for anyone that gives two shits), and that damn annoying Stan; and after doing that for her sake so the plan could work... she knees me in the crotch! What the flying FUCK! GOD DAMMIT, THAT SHIT HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH! How fucking ungrateful! Secretely though... I liked to see her confident. How and why she was like that was the question. It made me wonder despite everything, is she really the insecure girl in that diary or what?
"What the fuck... you b-bitch!" I groaned as I laid on the ground. Kyle was laughing like the backstabbing Jew he was. It's probably his fault. God, it's always his fault I'm in pain. I swear Hitler should have ignored Russia and cleaned out the Jews when he got the chance. If not... then I wouldn't be on the floor with this massive amount of pain. Seriously? Why does this hurt so fucking much! I'd rather she punch me than this!
The Jew helped me up. "What're you laughing about, Jew!" I growled to the kike.
He leaned down and whispered, while everyone wasn't looking, "I think she found out about the diary thing." I stood up. "She's mad at me too, bro." He said.
"Enough to knee ya in the croth?" I hissed.
"No. She probably figured it was you who took it in the first place." He said, that smirk still visible on his damn face.
"Did you-"
"No. Bebe said something, and I smiled sadly. That's probably how she put two and two together." He said.
SO IT WAS THAT KIKE! "Damn you..." I growled. Come on! I mean, if I would have never read it, then I would have never known all this! It was my manipulative self that saved her ass!
Butters came out of the bathroom as everyone was leaving. "Hiya, fellas." He said to everyone who ignored him. I did the same. "Say Eric, why you walkin' funny?" Little damn bastard! I shoved him to the side like trash. "Just shut the fuck up, fag." No one cared enough to help him up, as always.
"I'm going to the car stations if anyone wants to join." Red said and Clyde followed. Bebe, Wendy, Stan, and Butters went to that stupid Dance Dance Revolution shit. Kyle, Token, and I went to the gun games.
"Dude, what the fuck did you do to Wends?" Token laughed as he shot some zombies.
"Same thing I'll do to you if you don't shut the fuck up, you black asshole." I retorted.
"A dick as always I see." He rolled his eyes.
"Oh, I don't know about that." Kyle interrupted as he reloaded.
Token glanced at Kyle. "What?"
"I mean, he's gotta be something more degrading than a dick, right? Like a cocksucker. Yeah, that's Cartman." The kike is fucking pushing his limits today!
Token laughed and I screamed, "SNEAKY JEW!"
oOo
Stan had his arms around my waist as we waited for the Dance Dance Revolution station to be unoccupied. I liked that feeling, of someone holding my waist tight and firm. It's like they don't ever intend of letting me go. My anger subsided and I was happy. I was excited and eager. Dare I say, I was bold! Stan lowered his lips to where my neck was. My eyes widened and I flinched back. James had licked me there, I can't let Stan touch me there.
"Dude, what even?" He laughed.
"Sorry." I smiled nervously. "Your breath went in my ear."
He laughed. "Sorry." He apoligized.
"It's open." Bebe said cheerfully. She turned to me with a light smile. "Ready to get beaten, hun?"
"You always beat me in this game." I chuckled.
I'm not particularly bad, but I'm not as good as Bebe. She plays this when she's bored in her house. I played in medium mode and she played in hard. I missed some here and there, but I got a B. When I lost, which was inevitable, Butters came to step up my place. I didn't expect much from him. He's really clumsy and awkward. I've seen his dance moves before... they're not something to be proud about. Still, I smiled cheerfully as I awaited for them to dance. To my suprise and Bebe's frustration, he beat her at expert mode. I swear all our jaws dropped. This boy... has got the twinkle toes! Although something this stupid and simple happened, it got me thinking: Maybe I don't give Butters enough credit. He was better than I thought at something I thought he sucked at... maybe I should also give myself a little bit more credit. Maybe I'm actually not the one at fault at everything. With just this hope, my shoulders peeled back a little, and my chin rose straight up. Maybe I should be proud of myself. Maybe I owe it to myself after all these years. I was someone to be proud of when I was small. I'm still young... and I have a whole life ahead of me. I can do some good, right? I can be good!
Stan and I seperated from the rest and we went on to play a driving game. It was in a secluded little container, the openings covered with sheets of fabric. It was for two and there were two driving chairs and wheels, but one screen.
"How about this one?" He asked.
"Sure." I smiled.
I really feel better than I have in a very long time. Despite all that's happened, I feel better. I could thank Butters, but really he didn't get me to think this. I could even thank Kyle, but that doesn't seem like the right person to thank.
"Dude!" Stan laughed. "Stop pushing me to the rail!"
I think... I think Cartman is the one I should thank. Although he stole my diary, he, and not only through the diary incident (through the entire plan and since the beginning), had given me my fire back. He had given me a chance, if even for a day, to smile without any worries.
I laughed without a care. "If you don't want to lose then fight back!"
Cartman, I hope you saw my smiling face from afar today. I hope you saw my shoulders peeled back and my chin held high. I didn't notice, but my shoulders started to hurt from always having them slumped forward. My neck began to grow stiff from keeping it down.
"Last round, Testaburger! Prepare to lose!" Stan chuckled.
I hope you're proud. I know you don't care about me, but at least I hope you know that this careless smile was your fault. This direct gaze to the future and this soaring in my heart was your doing.
"Delusions aren't endearing, Stanley." I giggled.
I don't care about your reasons. I care about the results you gave me. The results outweighed your meaning. Thank you... Eric.
"You're right, Wendy. Delusions aren't endearing." A cold voice said from behind the fabric.
My heart dropped to my stomach, and my confidence zapped out, like the lights from a switch. My eyes were wide in fear, and my throat clenched in on itself. It couldn't be. How? Not here. It can't be!
The fabric was torn open in a gradual speed, slowly peeling off the remains of my happiness away. Not even away from the house I can escape his harsh glare. He was slowly, his gloved hands on the fabric, actually peeling open the scabs of the wounds he left me. He was reopening the fear within me. I can't ever have a moment to myself. I can't ever last long with a careless smile. I can't ever laugh without restraint. He'll be lurking over a corner, and he'll be there... watching... waiting for the moment to peel the scabs... to peel the remains of all I hold dear... my pursuit of happiness is in shams.
"James?" Stan said and the game shut down to an end. The game was over. The fun was done. It was ruined abruptly before it could finish properly. This was a sign, wasn't it... this was a sign. I'm not allowed to have happiness. I don't deserve happiness! "Is everything alright?"
"No. Your mother called me." His faux gaze turned back to me. "We need to go."
I nodded slowly. How did he even find me. "Is she alright?" Stan asked.
"Yes. She's fine, Stanley. She just called for a favor. I need Wendy to come now with me, if that's alright with you." He said with a gentle face. Don't make such a face... please. This doesn't fit. You're like the wrong shape from another puzzle trying to fit into this puzzle. You don't belong. Your face doesn't belong.
"Come on, Wendy. I'll drive you home." He said. "I overheard your friends say where you were. Thank God I found you, you left your phone at home." He smiled.
I didn't leave it at home.
"Goodbye, Stanley. Have a nice day." He said.
"Have a nice day James. I'll go tell the others." He smiled.
No... Stan... don't let me go with him. Do something. Do anything. Someone. ANYONE! HELP ME!
He grabbed my hands and with his cold fingers, pulled me out of the game station. I wanted to flinch and pull my hands away. The touch from his cold fingers gave me a sense of dread and disgust, almost like touching the corpse of a decaying body. Still, I resisted the urge. I looked around me, no one I knew was around. I couldn't find Kyle's face. I couldn't find Cartman's face. No one would be able to help me, right? No one would save me, right! I'll be taken tonight. I'll be taken without consent. I'll be taken... and I can't do anything about it.
May God help me.
oOo
"Hey, Soccer Mom, where's the hoe who kicked me?" I asked Bebe, pouting by a water fountain. Butters was had a proud smile in his faggy face. I don't even want to know what happened.
"She went with Stan." She said.
I wanted to apologize to her for stealing her diary. Well... I didn't want to, but Kyle was making me do so. He said if I don't, he'll tell Wendy that I bugged her house. I don't want another kick to the groan. I get chills from thinking about it. That girl doesn't look it, but she's got the knee of Iron Man.
I looked around for the pussy jock. Red poof ball... red poof ball... red poof ball... red poof ball... THERE! Found it! I walked over to him. He had the game card in his hands and was at another station.
"Where's the bitch?" I asked, my hands in my pocket.
"Don't call her that, fatass." He smirked at me. Probably from joy of seeing me get kicked.
I tightened my glare at him. "The kike's making me apologize."
He quirked his brow. "Does Kyle have something on your ass?"
"Yeah. If I don't do it soon, he'll spill." I admitted. "Just tell me where she is so I can get it over with, dumbass."
"She left with James." He said.
My heart stopped. If I didn't have my feet spread apart on the ground, then I would have fallen. I would have fallen from having the wind knocked out of my stomach. How did he find her here? "W-what...?" I asked, my voice soft and almost in a tremble.
"He said somehting about an emergency with her mom. Her mom's fine though, something about a favor. Anyways, he took her away. He scared me good, though. I didn't expect to see him here, but he's always-"
"WHEN THE FUCK DID THEY LEAVE!" I roared without shame, clutching at his shoulders.
"Woah! Calm the fuck down! Literally like a minute ago. What the fuck is your-"
I didn't give him time to finish. I dashed off to the exit. Screw him. I don't care if he's suspicious. Right now I have to get to her. I have to run. Anywhere. Somewhere. The parking lot. Just let me find her in time! DON'T LET IT BE TOO LATE!
oOo
I was wrong. This was wrong. I don't deserve happiness. This is my sign. This is my reminder to that fact. He is my reminder to my guilts and my sins. I was hair brained to believe that I could be happy without care without being punished for it later. Still... I don't want this. Oh God... don't let me go through with this. The tears swelled up in my eyes and we reached the parking lot.
Suddenly, there was a sharp buzz.
"Don't answer it." He said, his voice dripping in venom.
He began to walk. My phone buzzed again, nonstop. "They'll be suspicious." I pleaded with my head down.
"Then make up an excuse later." He turned back to me with a large, sordid grin. "You've been good at those lately."
I trembled under his sordid glare. It's noted, James! I'm going to be taken! Don't gloat! Don't remind me! Just... please... spare me. I pleaded so in my mind.
We continued walking. He found his car. I was about to get in the car when a hand from behind me swooped in front of my face. I was pulled back and into warm arms. The back of my head was against a warm chest and my torso was blanketed with large and secure arms.
"DON'T YOU TOUCH HER!" A familiar voice roared. I turned back to see Cartman with a deadly glare fixated towards James. His voice sounded intimidating and desperate.
"Eric. How-" I began, but was cut off.
"I am her current guardian. I wish to take her for good reasons." James spoke calmly.
Why is it Eric who always saves me. Why is it him that knows exactly when to come... exactly when to pull me away just when I was giving up hope. Why is it always him? Eric... how do you know?
"I want proof." He growled low and dangerous. He gripped me tighter, as if he never wanted to let go. I couldn't help but blush at the thought.
"I don't need to show you. You have no right. You're just a foolish child." He said, calmly and coldly.
"That may be, but I won't let her go with you, even if they arrest me!" He said in a defiant and desperate voice. I could feel his grip tighten more and his body tremble. Was it from rage? Or was it from desperation?
"Then I'll call the police." James threatened.
"If ... it has to be her choice to go to you. If not, then you are abducting her! You aren't her father! You aren't her blood! You have no right to take her by force!" He yelled defiantly.
James' eyes turned to me in ominous glares. That was his glare, one that held me by the throat. His glare was one that sucked all life and rebellion in me. I started to spill tears from my eyes. "Well?" He began. "Your mother is waiting for you. Don't you want to see her?" He asked me.
I gasped slightly. My mother's here? He won't do anything if my mother's there.
"Mom's here?" I asked, getting hopeful.
"HE'S LYING!" Cartman hissed. I turned to him with wide eyes. "Didn't you say that your mother would be here by Monday? It's still Sunday, Wendy." He said.
"Flights can come early, Wendy." James said, his oppressive glare softening. "She said she missed you."
No... that's not fair, James... how can... how can I refuse her? She misses me... she misses me.
"You didn't even say goodbye to the others. How about Kyle? Bebe? Tweek? You didn't even say goodbye to me!" He said, almost pleading for me not to go.
I turned to him in shock, his furrowed brows twisted in a pained pleading.
"Well then, Wendy." James said. "Bid him goodbye and come. Your mother is waiting."
Everything was silent. There was a piercing, long beep. It forced itself into my ear, and everything went in slow motion. My mouth was sluggish, my arms where limp. My eyes were wide and alert, but my head almost swayed in motion. Then suddenly...
"Okay." I said. "I'll go with you." James smiled.
"WENDY!" Cartman yelled in... is that fear?
"But I need to call my mother first." I said.
"What?" James answered with wide eyes. "But she's waiting and we need to hurry." He said.
"We wasted about five minutes just now, she won't mind another second." I said. Where was I getting these words. These words weren't mine. They weren't connecting to my mind. What am I saying? Whatever has possessed me to say all this... I'm glad. "My mom told me I shouldn't waste money. I paid good money for the game cards in there. The game card expires today." That was a lie. The game card expires in June.
I saw Cartman smile from my peripheral view. James stood almost paralyzed. He furrowed his brow in anger. "Wendy, I don't think you're understanding the-"
I didn't let him finish. I took out my phone and called my mother in front of him.
"Hey? Hun? You alright? I'm in the middle of something." She said.
"Oh? Hey, when are you coming again? I forgot." I said cheerfully.
"Hun. I told you and James, tomorrow afternoon." She laughed in the same graceful tone as always. "Well, I'm with a client, Wends. I'll talk to you later tonight. Bye. Smooches." She said.
"Bye mom. Smooches." I said, and then I hung up. I looked up to James who seemed to have a defeated expression. "I think you made a mistake. Maybe you were working too hard writing your book. Mom said she is coming tomorrow afternoon just as planned before." Why was my voice so stern? I was trembling inside, but I had my shoulders peeled back and my head held high again. My voice was strong and stern, and my stance unwavering. What is this? I thought of Cartman. Could this be your doing? Could this sudden confidence come from you being here, Eric?
"Well... my mistake. Perhaps you're right, I have been working too hard on my book. I'll see you at home, Wendy." He turned away, but not before saying, "You're not allowed to bring in friends today to sleep over."
"My mom has not set in those rules." I said. I can't fall apart now... I have to keep staring directly. "She said that I can bring in my friends whenever I want while she's gone. You can't go over her rules. You're just James."
He turned his head back with his jaw open. Cartman's arms were still around me, but his grip loosened, and he stopped trembling. They were still warm and comforting. His arms, and the motion of his chest moving up and down from breathing, gave me the strength I needed to say those words. I see that now.
"I'll tell your mother of your disrespect." He growled, losing his cool.
"I'll tell her about this. How you refused my friends from my house. How you said all this in front of Eric." I felt Eric gasp slightly at the mention of his first name. "I'll also tell her that I followed all her rules till the end. That I didn't disobey. I was a good girl the entire time."
He swiftly turned away from me and got into his car. He turned on hte ignition and pulled back. Cartman pulled me back so the car wouldn't hit me. With that, James was gone. That's when the fear hit me. He'll punish me for it all later. He'll have no mercy.
oOo
It was beautiful. She was beautiful. Her voice was strong and firm, and her posture was straightened. Her held was shameless and her eyes direct. Her head was clear and alert, waiting and calculating to strike. This was the woman I fell in love with. This was her. This was her beauty. This confidence that I missed for so long. Her defiance and her courage is what I have been waiting for. She was glowing, and she was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. When she was like this, no one could stop her. No one could tumble her. She owned the world and with pride. I loved her so much. I never wanted to let go of her, and I wanted to embrace her and take in her lips and press her against me tightly; I wanted to scream to her, "WHERE WERE YOU ALL THESE YEARS!" and make this Wendy stay. Still, I let her go. I let her and the Wendy I loved so much slipped away as quick as she came. She turned to me with wide, afraid eyes. Her eyes had tears in them, and her posture weakened. She was trembling. I still loved this Wendy, even if she wasn't the one I wanted to see. I would protect this Wendy, so that the other one would always have a chance to come out without restraint. I would protect her.
"Wendy, that was-" I was interrupted by a sharp pain. She slapped my cheek and I rocked my head to the side. I placed my hands on my cheek and clutched at the already forming bruise, because that was one HELL of a bitch slap!
"That was for my diary!" She yelled. Before I could complain or say anything, she tackled me to a ground in an embrace. She laid on top of me, with her arms around my neck and her face buried in my chest. "This is for saving me." She said in a smaller voice.
I put my hand on her hair and she started to cry. I simply stroked her hair soflty and sighed. Although my cheek was throbbing and my ass numb from falling down when she tackled me, I couldn't have felt happier. She cried on me for a few minutes, and I was so happy. This warmth... this warmth may be the only time I'll ever feel it. I don't want her to part away, but I know she'll have to. I know we will have to go back.
We got up, and she tried her tears. We waited for her face to return to normal (no red eyes or nose) and went back. When we returned, they looked at us with worried faces. She gave the excuse that James was mistaking on something, and that she ran into me on the way back. I, apparently, came running to her begging her to forgive me or else Kyle will spill the beans on whatever he has on me (which wasn't even that important anyways. What a bitch! I save her, and she makes me look like the fool!). I acted inappropriate so she slapped me. Then we came back... that was the excuse she came up with without consulting me... fucking bi-... why do I have to look like the pathetic guy!
The day went on as planned, and I explained everything to Kyle when we were alone. He seemed worried, but happy that Wendy was alright.
Now we have to be more careful. We can't close our eyes shut for even a second. If we do... she's gone... and there might not be a window opened to save her next time. I have to protect her... no matter what!
Wendy, keep on growing in confidence. Keep your head looking forward and your stare direct and clear. Keep your back straight and your stance unwavering. Keep your mouth like that, in a clear smile. I saw it. I saw your smile today. It was so beautiful. It was so graceful and dignified. I wanted to see that smile forever on your face. I wanted to tell everyone that it was my plan to keep James away that made you smile like that. I wanted to scream to the world that your confidence was peeking back out, and it was because of my plan. I wanted to see your teeth bared without shame forever. Wendy, promise me something. Although you can't read my mind at the moment, I want you do do something for me. Keep looking forward, and never look back. Keep smiling without shame and with direct and clear eyes. Keep growing in confidence, because when this is all over... I'll come on to you. I don't care about Stan. I never did. I won't hold back. My own insecurities about others hurting me... I'll banish them away only for you. I've seen the way you are when it counts the most today. You were strong and bright, like the sun who blinds all who dares to stare at it. Stay that way, and as long as you do, I'll gather up the courage to fight for you. When all this is over... I'll make you mine, Wendy. I'll make you fall in love with me.
Wendy... I want you by my side!
A/N: Did anyone else get chills with reading that last paragraph? I know I did when writing it.
Wow, this story is getting interesting to write again. I got a bunch of new ideas for the everything. Everything is playing accordingly to my plan. Soon I'll make you all cry and laugh and beg me for Candy. I have you... IN THE PALM OF MY HANDS, READERS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
No, seriouslah... hope you liked it! Sorry it was so long... I got to caught up in the story line... my characters are developing, aren't they? At least, I like to think I'm writing them well enough to develop. Someone reassure me... anyone?
Did anyone see the new live action reenactment in the "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining" episode! WASN'T STAN HOT! WASN'T KYLE THE CUTEST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN! WASN'T CARTMAN LIKE THE BEST FUCKING ACTOR EVER! NO SERIOUSLAH! AND WASN'T KENNY FUCKING HOT AS WELL! AIWEHOFSIHDFKAHJFKDSJF MY BABIES AKJHFOAIEJFSLDKJF!
Sorry... fangirl moment there... I'll behave.
