frankieau: Irma Crabbe is not the mother of any oafs. Her children are Walburga, Alphard and Cygnus. While her first daughter was a bitch in life and insane in death, she was never stupid. We'll return to Harry soon enough.

ReBein: You'll love this chapter then.

Arashi IV of VI: thanks!

RebeccaRoy: Not exactly. You might notice that some of it is edited out, or reflavored to fit Iris' backstory. Not lies of course, but the truth given from a certain point of view.

Disclaimer: Did the Patil Twins know Pansy Parkinson before their arrival at Hogwarts? If yes, Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and this story is only for fun.

...

"Oh, come on!" Iris complained as they walked to an apparition point out of sight. The discovery of two unknown wands had put Number 4 Grimmauld Place into lockdown, many of the adults extending the invisible protective bubble beyond the house itself so as to have a warning against further unwelcome visitors.

"Yes, because you'll convince me you don't have to pretend to be a child by actually behaving like one." Cassiopeia said with a smirk. "If Bellatrix and Sirius have to go to bed early and without wands for behaving like children, you can accompany me to this unofficial get-together as the newest Black Scion. You do look the part after all." Neither of the two Black cousins knew where those wands had come from, only that they had appeared on their beds right before the two of them had planned to withdraw for the night. The possibility of unknown, unseen wizards or witches inside the building had seen the recovery of a severed troll leg from storage, an item Iris knew very well. It had been cursed to make all unwelcome visitors who passed it by stumble upon it and placed next to the entrance as an umbrella stand.

"Where is the gathering going to happen?" Iris asked, suppressing the first sullen reply that had come to her mind. Resisting the impulses of her six-year-old body became hard at times. Then an idea gave birth to new hope in her mind. "Is the Black family actually invited?" She asked eagerly, suspecting the answer given her House's reputation.

"Ottery St. Catchpol. A small village in Devon with a surprisingly high number of wizarding families." Iris didn't need the aging Black witch to tell her that. Many of her future friends had lived there, the extended Weasley clan first among them. Maybe they were hosting? If so, the Black family certainly had not been invited. "It's an opportunity for influential wizarding families to show off the new generation for the first time." Her 'aunt' continued with an amused chuckle that didn't bode well. The more dismal, narrow alleys of London stretched around them now - soon they'll be away from both the anti-disapparation jinx and prying eyes. "As such, nobody bothered to uninvite us. They could afford to be gracious and send an open invitation, secure in the knowledge that our House, and other undesirables from their point of view, did not have any new members to show off. Unfortunately for them, now we do." She finished with a smirk.

Oh joy. Warfare at a sociopolitical level carried out by the wives, mothers, and grandmothers of the old Houses, with preteen children playing the role of ground forces. Why was she not surprised? Though that begged the question of what she had to do in such a gathering. If she was going to be passed around like a cute little doll on display and suffer on the receiving end of false compliments from middle-aged witches that mashed their words as if talking to a two-year-old... some people might suffer accidents. It was called accidental magic, after all.

"Don't scowl at me like that, young lady." Cassiopeia admonished. Iris didn't know what expression her face had taken at that moment, but it probably wasn't good. "You wouldn't have to do this if my idiotic grandnephew had provided a heir instead of getting locked up or one of my grandnieces had deigned to continue the bloodline with a wizard that wasn't a heir from another House." The grandmother from Hell gave such a nasty snarl at nobody in particular that Iris could have sworn milk would curdle at a hundred paces and dragons all over Europe would be jealous. Her words however gave Iris an idea that might net the family and Iris' plans some future benefits.

"What about Andromeda and her daughter?" The elder witch's reaction was immediate but not unexpected. She stopped walking as if rooted to the spot and stared down at Iris with frightening intensity.

"What about Andromeda's daughter?" she asked slowly and expressionlessly.

"She is a very talented witch." Iris said neutrally, waiting to see whether her older relative would explode as the portrait of Walburga Black had done. "Top of her class despite being a Hufflepuff, and a metamorphmagus."

"You'd better learn some subtlety if you want to convince Arcturus of that, girl." Cassiopeia said with that same intensity but no hint of anger. "Walburga, Cygnus, and Pollux convinced Orion to cast her out of the family for her defiance, and now that his son is dead my cousin won't want to overturn that decision." The old witch shook her head. "You teach someone all her life that ambition and will is everything and then you try to punish her when she does as she decides she wants to instead of as you do? Idiots. At least the girl had the presence of mind to stay out of the war, which is more than I can say for anyone else in the last two generations."

So not every older Black was as much a bigot as the more prominent members of the family. Iris wondered if the older witch could become a close ally in her attempts to reform her family. If only Cassiopeia wasn't so quick to use the Dark Arts...

...

To Iris' great relief, she had not been required to join in political warfare so far. They'd Apparated at the foot of a grass-covered low hill only a couple of miles from the village proper, then climbed on foot up the fairly steep but short incline to the top. Iris could feel the invisible weight of many protective enchantments forming a bubble around the place and realized she should have expected something like that. Casual social outing or not, the influential wizarding families of Britain would not leave their children without powerful protection. If somebody's manor was not neutral enough or too formal a location for the occasion, their picnic would be just as safe for everyone.

The top of the hill and the surrounding view brought a sense of Deja Vu; she'd been here before in the future but couldn't remember when or why. There were a couple of tables full of expensive food and drinks and seats for the dozen or so adults -mostly witches- she didn't recognize. Conjuration and expansion and refilling charms made catering easy for any event she supposed, but the food didn't interest her much. A tall, middle-aged man with greying brown hair, a square jaw and an easy smile was the only familar face: Amos Diggory. She suspected she'd met a few of the others in the future as well, but the decades she'd traveled made too much of a difference. Cassiopeia Black smirked at the stares the two of them were getting. As she prepared to do battle through social means, the aging Black witch whispered to Iris' ear.

"Go and mingle with the kids. I'll introduce you later once I've prepared the ground a bit and routed the worst of the enemy."

Rolling her eyes, Iris ran to where over a dozen preteen witches and wizards were playing. Some of them simply talked and laughed, others were playing with a pair of animated toys, but the largest group had gathered around a blond boy wielding a toy wand. The former Head Auror was shocked to recognize a miniature, six-year-old Draco Malfoy. Recognition came not only due to his perfectly gelled hair, upturned nose and rather distinctive eyes, but also from what she was doing.

"Come on, you've had your turn!" A lithe redhead girl complained, trying to get the toy wand back from the Malfoy boy. She seemed a bit familiar, as did her sullen blonde friend with the adorable pigtails that tentatively approached as well.

"Yeah, Draco. It's been half an hour!" A dark-skinned girl with asian indian features and long black hair stated. "We want our turn, too!" her identical twin said, heir hair being caught in a long braid the only difference between them. Were those... the Patil twins?!

"Don't be such a baby!" A pug-faced girl with a baby's voice came to Draco's defense. "After all, Draco is the best with the wand."

"Now, now ladies. No need to fight." Admonished a slightly older but much taller boy as the Patil twins were about to engage the young Pansy Parkinson. Strong jaw, brown hair, big eyes, easy smile. Iris' heart almost seized in shock. Even as a nine year old, Cedric Diggory brought back painful thoughts, bitter regrets. Iris didn't know if she should approach or run for it. Noone here knew her yet but she remembered - and didn't want to.

"Come on, mate!" A burly boy with too-wide mouth and overly large teeth elbowed the future Hufflepuff champion and martyr. "Bit o' hair-pulling never hurt anyone." Marcus Flint instantly regretted his words when Pansy kicked him in the knees, the Patil twins jumped him from the left and a short, mousy-looking brunette started beating him with a stick while the other girls pulled at his hair. "Help! Help! Somebody! Anybody!" Several of the kids laughed at his predicament and a few started giving suggestions. While this was going on, Draco Malfoy got bored and started twirling and pointing the wand randomly. He managed to produce a spark that arced several feet and hit a young Italian boy that yelped loudly then glowered back at the blond. Before he could do anything though, two large, round, burly boys walked up to Malfoy's left and right. Great, Crabbe and Goyle were there as well.

Iris sighed, cursed her fate, then walked up to the group and said. "Hand over the wand, Malfoy."

"Why should I?" The blond immediately countered. "And who are you anyway?"

"Black. Iris Black." As soon as she'd said that, the whole group fell quiet. The name did carry some weight so she might as well use it. "And as others said, you've had your turn. Set someone else have some fun."

"Make me!" The blond said obstinately, crossing his arms as his two bodyguards flanked him on either side. Everyone else stared from him to Iris and back, expressions ranging from fascination, to caution, to gleeful anticipation. The former Girl-Who-Lived turned six-year-old felt like bashing her head against a table at how quickly she'd become the center of attention - again. Why were the only choices presented to her a Wizarding World going to the dogs, or her doing something about it personally? Not that Malfoy was any sort of a challenge - it was the principle of the matter.

"If you're sure." The only challenge was how to do this without doing something impossible or causing too much of a scene. She decided to copy Malfoy for once; pointing a finger at him, she jolted him with a spark as he'd done to the other boy. Draco yelped and dropped the toy wand. His bodyguards advanced on her, but were stopped by two more sparks. If that had been all she could do and the three of them had been any smarter she couldn't have stopped them. The sparks didn't hurt more than a punch after all and there were three of them. However, the display of controlled magic -however minor- coupled with a confidence no six year old would ever have made all the difference.

"Look, I just made you." She mocked as if she were truly a six-year-old. She picked up the dropped toy wand and handed it over to the redhead girl that had asked for it.

"Thanks!" The girl said, surprised. "You aren't bad for a Black. I'm Susan, by the way. Susan Bones." Of course she was. Iris should have recognized her from Dumbledore's Army or the Auror corps. In her defense, those events had been ten and twenty years in the future, respectively.

"Wait till Father hears this!" Draco grumbled sullenly then yelped again when she sent another spark near his feet. The other kids laughed then - even Pansy Parkinson - and suddenly Iris no longer felt so despondent about her trip to the past.

Maybe things were turning out for the best...