Yo! Sorry I haven't updated this in forever. Been busy working on other things.

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Previously on Frog Wars: LeFay and Al rode on a magic carpet that led them to an underground laboratory. Once there, they infiltrated the structure until they stumbled upon Ed and Mustang trapped in glass pods. Just as the two alchemists had been released, someone new entered the story.

LeFay: Hey! What are you doing!

Crap! I've been caught! *runs away*

LeFay: Get back here! I've told you a thousand times that narrating the story is MY job.

Ed: Who was that anyway?

LeFay: Oh, you know. Kendra.

FMA Cast: *gasps*

LeFay: What, you guys know her?

Mustang: Unfortunately.

Al: *hides behind Ed* She's scary.

Ed: Almost scarier than Teacher.

Al: Yeah, and they call that girl the devourer of souls.

LeFay: Really? Hm… *looks up in thought*

Mustang: Oh no, LeFay is thinking.

Ed: That's bad. Very bad.

LeFay: *turns back to them* You guys?… I got a plan.

FMA Cast: *hides*


We all looked up to see who had spoken. A woman stood there. The first noticeable thing was her long white coat, similar to a doctor's or scientist's. The rest of her included long brown hair held up in a high ponytail, rectangular glasses revealing hazel eyes, and model worthy features. She couldn't have been over thirty and would have been a very beautiful woman had she not been looking at us as if she were going to claw our throats out.

"Who are you?" Ed demanded.

She scowled and readjusted her glasses in irritation, "I am Minaseiko, head researcher of this establishment."

Ed arched an eyebrow and looked to me questioningly. I shrugged, having no idea who this chick was. Again I say, some of the stuff that's in the swamp occurs randomly and without my supervision. Hm, I should probably change that for security purposes…

Mustang quickly took charge of the situation, or tried to at least, "I am-"

"I know who you are, you imbecile!" she snapped. Who do you think brought you here? And don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question."

He frowned, not liking this, "What is this place?"

She crossed her arms, eyeing the four of us in near disgust. Coming to some conclusion, she told us, "I will tell you as soon as I inform the Director of what has occurred. Please stay here, and for God's sakes don't touch anything." Then she swept out of the room through a different door than the one Al and I came in.

"That was…odd," Al spoke for all of us.

Mustang whipped his head to Al, staring at him critically. Then his eyes widened, "Is that you, Alphonse? What on Earth happened to you?"

Al beamed, "I got my body back!"

"Which you never explained," Ed reminded him.

"Oh yeah! A talking printer gave it to me!" Al answered happily.

"A wha…?" Ed gawked at him.

I sighed, "It's a long story."

Mustang had gotten over his shock at Al's appearance and now was looking at me, "And who are you and what's your part in all this?"

"Oh, that's right! You don't know." Then I explained, "I'm the author of this story and you are currently in a swamp created from the depths of my imagination."

"The author?" he said, taken aback. Then he turned to Ed, "Fullmetal, please tell me this is some horrible nightmare."

"Sorry, but this is all real."

That's when the door opened and in walked…Ling, of all people. We stared at him, all of us too surprised to say anything. He stopped, scanned the room, and scratched his head in confusion, "Huh, I could have sworn this was the way to the kitchen." Then, just like that, he left.

Before I could comment on how weird that was, a girl holding a camera snuck out from behind the corner, humming the music from Mission Impossible. She paid no mind to us and crept through the door Ling had disappeared through and left to pursue him.

I face palmed, "Dear God…"

"You know that weirdo?" Ed asked about the girl.

I nodded, "ThatOneChick, she spends her life as a professional stalker. People pay her to stalk their favorite characters."

"That sounds so cool!"

Ed, Mustang, and I whipped our heads around to stare incredulously at Al. That made him blush and scratch his head in embarrassment.

Ed's expression became smug as he nudged his brother, "Got someone you want her to stalk for you?"

"Yes! I mean no! Oh, maybe!" Al rambled.

"Who is it then?"

"…Nyu."

My jaw dropped, "You mean that crazy chick from Elfen Lied who has an alternate homicidal personality? Have you lost your ever lovin mind? Why on Earth would you like her?"

"Well, she's really cute when she's not being homicidal."

"You sure do have strange taste in women," Ed said.

I looked at Mustang who had been quiet during the conversation, "Don't you have a comment?"

He crossed his arms and smirked, "Nothing, except that I approve."

"You what?" Ed and I exclaimed.

Mustang's smirk deepened, "I always did have a thing for fierce women." An arrow pointed towards him saying, 'Totally in love with Riza'.

Al whispered to Ed, "You see the floating arrow too, right?"

Ed just nodded, his mouth gaping open.

"What are you staring at?" Mustang asked. He turned but the arrow vanished before he could catch a glimpse.

Ed rubbed his eyes tiredly, "I think I've been in this place way too long. I'm starting to go crazy."

"BEAT IT! JUST BEAT IT!"

Startled, everyone turned to look at me. I smiled at them, "Excuse me for a second." I turned away from them as I answered my cellphone. "Hello?…Oh hey! What's up, LeCait?…No, I'm not busy. We can talk…"

Ed stared at me, a blood vessel throbbing in his forehead, "Is she seriously chatting with her friend at a time like this?"

"Very inappropriate," Mustang agreed.

Al simply sweat dropped.

I gasped, "Aya-chama did what? Oh boy, Jason's not gonna like this…WHAT? I can't believe it. Jay too? Wait, are you talking about Jay or JayTheCow?"

Somewhere in the distance everyone heard something howl, "May the power of milk prevail!" Ed and Al, having gotten used to most of the randomness of the swamp shrugged it off while Mustang began having a spaz attack. Ed and Al watched his freak out with mild amusement.

"Eeep!" I squeaked. "That's so cool!"

Al tapped my shoulder and said, "I know I'm probably going to regret asking this but, what are you talking about?"

I turned to him and relayed my conversation with starry eyes, "Me and LeCait were just talking about our favorite soap opera, The Last Rose to Fall! I missed the last episode so she told me what happened. You see, the star of the show, Aya-chama, was dating this guy Jason but she had tragically fallen in love with not just him but someone else. So she secretly had meetings with her other love until Jason caught her and, surprise! It was his twin brother, Jay! And not only that, Aya-chama is pregnant with her own set of twins, one is Jason's and the other is Jay's! It's so exciting!"

They all three stared at me. Then Ed roared and snatched my phone away from me to throw it on the ground and stomp on it. My jaw dropped and as he crushed my baby I felt a part of my soul die.

"How dare you!" I screamed, furious.

"We've got other things to worry about instead of you prattling on about your stupid soap opera!"

I gasped, taking a step back and glaring at him with the utmost offense. "You take that back!"

"No!"

"This means war!" I shouted. I pulled out one of my pokeballs and called, "Big Mac, I choose you!"

Red light shot out of the pokeball and formed a large, walking thing that resembled an oversized Big Mac.

"What is that thing?" Al looked at it in horror.

"I'll check," Mustang said, pulling out his pokede. Then a robotic voice came out, "Big Mac, the hamburger pokemon. What it lacks in speed it makes up for in brute strength. Beware its deliciousness."

"Big Mac," I shouted. "MEATBUN ATTACK!"

Big Mac jumped into the air and began attacking Ed with it's powerful buns. Ed began running around, Big Mac chasing him.

"We should probably help him," Al told Mustang.

"I'd rather not," he admitted.

Al smiled, "If you do then Brother will owe you one."

Mustang smirked and agreed. He slipped on a glove and snapped, producing dancing flames. Big Mac got singed and ran back towards me. Concerned, I looked him over for any damage. I patted its head and said, "Return, Big Mac." It went back to it's pokeball. Then I turned to Mustang, "You bastard, now the Big Mac's overcooked."

He shrugged like it was no big deal, "With that aside, let's focus on the matter at hand."

"WAAAAIT!"

"…what was that?" Al asked, looking around like all the rest of us.

"You can't just move past the pokemon reference without having me join the party!"

"And…why's that?" I ventured.

"Because I AlreadyCaught'EmAll!"

"…come again?

"I said, I AlreadyCaught'EmAll!"

"What?"

"I-ARG! Forget this!" It sounded like a microphone was dropped and then someone entered the room.

"And who are you?" Ed asked in annoyance.

"I'm a pokemon master!" they said confidently.

"And I'm LeFay Strent. Whoop-de-doo," I said unenthusiastically.

"Wha…Seriously? You're the LeFay Strent?" Their whole demeanor changed as they came over to me and started gushing, "That's so cool! Your book is my drug!"

"Then go fetch," I said, pulling out a copy of my book and throwing it across the room with my fan running after it like a dog. Once they got it they sat down and began reading in contentment.

"Wait, you actually have fans?" Ed asked in surprise.

I nodded, "Yeah, my stories have gotten pretty popular and a lot of cool people enjoy reading them."

"That's just stupid," Ed grumbled. "I don't get the point in people fawning over someone like that."

"But Edo, would you say that to one of your fans?" I asked. With a snap, a door appeared and out walked a little girl. She ran up to Ed and stared at him with awe in her big eyes.

"Who are you?" Ed frowned.

She smiled shyly, "A simple fan." Then she pulled out a small notebook and pen, "Can I have your autograph Mr. Edward."

"Mr. Edward?" Mustang snorted quietly to himself. Al and I were just looking at the adorable little girl, thinking how cute she was. Who could resist that face?

"No," Ed refused sternly.

I sighed in exasperation. Apparently, Ed could resist.

Tears welled in the girl's eyes. Then she cried, "You're a meanie!" Then she chucked the notebook at his face and ran back through the door. It promptly disappeared.

"Brother, that was insensitive," Al chided. Ed just scowled, probably because Mustang was rolling on the floor laughing.

"You idiot!" I seethed. I pointed at him and yelled, "That was uncalled for! I want you to go sit in a corner and think about what you did!"

"But…this is a circular room…"

"Don't make excuses!"

"Hey what's this thing?" Al asked us.

We turned to look at him to find him near the pool of water where a pedestal stood. On the top of the pedestal was a giant red button with the words, "Do Not Push". I walked over to it and began ogling it, "I wanna press it!"

"But it says not to push it," Ed argued.

"Why would someone install a button that they didn't want to be pressed?" Mustang asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know and I don't really care. I just wanna press it and see what it does."

"Keep away from that!"

I squeaked in surprise and turned towards the door where Minaseiko stood. She had finally returned and she looked none too pleased at the current situation.

"I told you not to touch anything, did I not?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am," I pouted.

She sighed and walked down the stairs to us, "I contacted the Director and he is on his way. He'll decide how best to handle all of you. Since we've already made the clones for you two we shouldn't require your presence anymore."

"Clones?" Ed and Mustang asked since she had indicated both of them.

She nodded, "Yes. Shall I give you a demonstration?" Without waiting for our answer, she pulled out some sort of remote, pushed a few buttons, and then two figures appeared in two of the glass cases that Ed and Mustang had been in before. They opened and out stepped another Edward and Mustang. The real Ed and Mustang stood there in shock as they stared at themselves.

"Amazing!" Al breathed out in excitement. He turned to me so that I could share in his enthusiasm but I waved him off.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I still wanna know what this button does," I said as I continued to stare at the big red button. What can I say? It called to me.

The Ed clone began jumping around and squealing like a…girl. "Eeek!" The Mustang clone kind of just stood to the side sullenly.

Ed looked to be mortified at seeing himself do a series of happy dances. He turned to Minaseiko and demanded, "Explain."

She pushed up her glasses, "Here at Anon Industries we research and develop weapons, gadgets, and jam among other things."

"Jam?" Mustang asked incredulously.

"Yeah, jams the best food ever," she stated like it was a fact. "Anyway, currently we are delving into soul swapping. For instance, these two may appear to be exact copies of you two," she pointed at Ed and Mustang, "but inside they have souls from other people."

Ed clenched his fists and growled, "Why would you do such a thing to these people?"

The person who was in Ed's clone stopped dancing and looked at him, "Oh, it's not like we were forced into this. It's completely voluntary. Well, mostly."

"Mostly?"

Mustang's clone raised their hand, "I lost a bet. Thank the gate that this is reversible."

"Reversible?" Ed repeated again.

Minaseiko snorted gracefully, "You didn't think we would leave them like this, did you? We have a reputation to uphold, you imbecile. We'll put these fan girls back into their original bodies once all the rudimentary tests have been performed.

I slapped my forehead, "Should have known they were fan girls."

Al started snickering, "They're girls?"

"Hold up," the Mustang clone said, waving her arms animatedly in her anger. "I am not a fan girl. Just because I-EEEK!" With all her moving about she toppled over and did a face plant.

"So, just who is in my clone anyway?" Mustang asked.

The Ed clone looked at him as if he were dumb, "Isn't obvious? That's Falling Raene."

Mustang cocked an eyebrow, "I can see where she got her name."

"And who are you?" Ed asked his clone.

The clone zoomed up to him and flashed a big, non-Edward like smile, "I'm Ammiranny! I'm so glad to meet you in the flesh! I'm a huge fan of yours!"

Ed's encounter with one of his fans from earlier had annoyed him and this was even more so. He looked to the head researcher and begged, "Please make them go away."

Minaseiko shrugged, "I don't see why not." Then she pushed another button on her remote thingy and the clones disappeared out of the room.

Ed felt the air where the clones had been to make sure they were really gone. When he felt no resistance, he smiled, "I've got to get me one of those."

"So, what other cool things do you make here?" I asked the woman.

"We deal in many branches of research as well serving as the swamp's largest manufacturing company."

"Meaning?"

She pushed her glasses up again and pointed towards my wrist, "For instance, that watch you're wearing was made by Anon Industries."

Startled, I took the watch off and examined it closely. On the underside of the watch read the word 'Anon'. I laughed and shook my head, "I'll be damned."

Minaseiko gave a small smile. Then a small beeping noise came from her and she whipped out her cell phone. She nodded, "The Director is here." She pocketed the phone and turned expectantly to the door.

Out walked…a strange man. He looked to be some weird cross of a pirate, a cowboy, and a ninja. His long brown hair was held in a ponytail with tints of green in it. A mask covered the lower half of his face, leaving his blue eyes revealed. No shirt but plenty of scars marring his sandy skin. He wore gold gloves, grey pants with a dragon embroidered down one leg, belts of bullets, and black and brown spiked boots. Overall he looked uber weird but you wouldn't tell him that to his face because of the crazy gleam in his eyes.

"Hello, Director Caiman" Minaseiko greeted, bowing her head.

I froze up at the name, "Ah hell…"

Ed gave me a look, "What, do you know that weirdo?"

I could have hit Ed right then. I couldn't believe how stupid he could be. He just had to go and say that so loud that Caiman couldn't have not heard it. As it was, Caiman was giving Ed a death glare.

"That's Quick-draw Caiman," I told him softly. "…And you just pissed him off."

True to his name, Caiman quickly drew his guns. I don't know much about guns but I could tell you these weren't normal looking guns. They were big, dangerous looking, and must have been made here in this facility.

"Hit the deck!" I screamed. We all ducked in time to escape a fireball-like blast. It shot above us and incinerated anything behind us that it hit.

Mustang smirked after seeing that display, "If you like to play with fire why don't you try me on?" He slipped his gloves on and was about to battle Caiman.

I rolled my eyes, wishing Hawkeye was here to keep this doofus in line. "You idiot! You can't take him on. We got to get out of here before…"

"KOWASHITE!"

I sweat dropped, "Too late."

The all too familiar samurai, Annabeth Zatsune, flew down from the high ceiling and drew her machete against Quick-draw Caiman. They bean duking it out like the mortal enemies they were.

"Um," Al began uncertainly, "Which one should we help?"

"I vote for neither and get the hell out of here," Ed suggested.

I nodded in agreement, "All in favor, say I"

All three chorused back, "I." We snuck farther away from them and started to look for a way out.

"Hey, let's try this thing," I said excitedly.

"The button?" Al asked.

"The big red button," I corrected with sparkles in my eyes.

"I'm not sure that's a good id-"

"Too late!" I cut off Mustang and slammed my hand down on the shiny button. Within seconds alarms blared in the room, deafening our poor ears. Red alarm lights flashed and I had a feeling that was a bad thing.

"Ooops," I laughed, making the others glare at me.

The shuttle, submarine, thingie-majigy in the pool of water in the center of the room had suddenly started up, it's motors running when before they were quiet. Then the lid at the top popped open and a girl poked her head out, which surprised me because I didn't know that anyone was in there.

"You guys looking for a way out?" she asked. We were all too bewildered to say words so we just all nodded. She smiled, "Then come aboard the MegatronLove! I'll get you out safely."

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Mustang commented about the sub.

One of Caiman's fire blasts came a little too close for comfort and Ed jumped towards the sub, "Screw your feelings! Let's just get out of here already!"

The rest of us hastily followed Ed's example and jumped in the sub. Inside was enough space for us to stand comfortably, along with panels full of buttons and switches for operating the sub. The girl began fiddling with them until the machine lurched forward and set off down a tunnel of water.

"Who are you?" Al asked curiously.

She smiled, "I'm the captain of the MegatronLove but I mostly go by Starrydreamer813."

"If that's true then why are you helping us? You're with Anon industries, correct?" Mustang questioned.

She shrugged, "My job is for transport in emergency situations. The button was pressed so there must have been emergency. I'm just doing my job."

I grinned happily, "So then it all works out."

"Ummm, except for the giant alligator." Al said with wide eyes.

"…say what?" I asked, turning around to see where Al was looking out a window. "…alright everyone…don't panic…whatever you do…don't panic…..AAAAHHH! IT'S GONNA EAT US!"


"So much for not panicking," Ed rolled his eyes.

Ed: You're really going to leave it off there?

LeFay: Eh, I had to end it somewhere.

Al: So what about your plan?

LeFay: What?

Al: You mentioned something about a plan.

Ed: You idiot, don't remind her!

LeFay: Oh yeah! Now I remember!

Ed: We're all doomed.

LeFay: Alright guys, so here's the plan…*thoughtful pause*…there is no plan.

Ed and Al: O_O

LeFay: That's the plan! For people to think there's a plan when really I'm just winging everything! *grins*

Ed:…idiot.

Kendra: I WILL DVEOUR YOUR SOULS!

Everyone else: *girlish screams of terror*


Yeah, this probably could have been better but I'm satisfied with that. ^_^

Thanks goes to Minasieko, ammiranny, ThatOneChick, StarryDreamer813, LeCait, Falling Raene, Meatbun Attack, The Last Rose to Fall, Aya-chama, jamsthebestfoodever, Yourbookismydrug, Jason, Jay, JayTheCow, a simple fan, Kendra Will Devour Your Soul, AlreadyCaught'EmAll, Anon. And a special thank you to Annabeth Zatsune for letting me use Quick-draw Caiman.