Title: Unrequited Love

Author: Tara Kitaide

genre: romance/angst/humor

Pairing: Ichigo/Renji

Disclaimer: Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

Warning: Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

Rating: M for yaoi scenes

Dedication: To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

"Kurosaki Ichigo, I love you."

Ichigo's eyes widened as he looked up at Renji who still caressed his cheek. "You... You really mean that?"

Renji closed his eyes and nodded. "I do, Ichigo. This time, I really mean it and this time I'm willing to stay with you." Renji kissed Ichigo's forehead lightly before running his hands through the orange locks and looking back down at him. Ichigo's features widened for a moment before softening and his eyes shining with tears. He quickly covered them with his hands and tried to breath steadily.

"Damn it... You always know just what to do to make me cry." Ichigo growled. Renji chuckled and smoothed Ichigo's hair back. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that." Renji rolled off of Ichigo and to the side where Ichigo rolled into him and he took the boy in his arms.

"Renji... I really... I really missed you."

Renji snickered and pulled Ichigo closer. "I can tell." He nudged the bandaged wrist to emphasize his point and Ichigo cringed. "That wasn't... I mean, It wasn't intentional..."

Renji propped himself up on his elbow to look down at Ichigo with widened eyes. "'Wasn't intentional'?! How can you not intend to take your own life?!" Renji kept his tone hushed but harsh. It made Ichigo shiver a bit and he would have backed away if it wasn't for Renji's firm hold around his waist. Ichigo paused for a moment, opening his mouth several times to speak before finding his voice.

"The first time I was cleaning Zangetsu and accidentally cut my hand." Ichigo put his palm to show a fresh scar across his palm. "It hurt but the physical pain seemed to drown out the internal. Whenever... the strain became too much I would just make the cut on my hand hurt and it seemed to ease it. But... the wound healed and I needed that release again so... I thought about cutting myself and..." Renji nodded in understanding. "You were just trying to cope and pain was the best way." Ichigo nodded in turn and ran his fingers across the bandage.

"I started to remember your words and began to believe that you'd never come..." Renji sighed and pulled Ichigo back into him. "But I did and I'm here now. Just promise me you wont do anything like this again." Ichigo chuckled for the first time and looked up at Renji. "I don't need to." If it was meant to be a joke, Renji wasn't laughing. "Ichigo." Ichigo's weak smile turned into an apologetic frown and he averted his eyes. "I'm sorry..."

Renji kissed Ichigo's cheek before shaking his head. "It's okay. I'm glad your telling me all this." Ichigo nodded. "I'm glad your listening." Renji leaned down to kiss Ichigo's cheek again but was stopped as Ichigo took Renji's face in his hands. They stared longingly at each other for a moment before meeting in a slow and sensual kiss. There was no hesitation this time, no shock or rejection. There was no need for ether to restrain their actions or push the other away before it became heated. There was just passion and longing as their actions resound their every thought and need.

Renji reclaimed his position on top of Ichigo and ran his hands up the boy's shirt and Ichigo did the same. They pulled away for a moment to breath and gaze into each other's eyes, searching for the mutual desire each was feeling. Ichigo nodded as if sensing Renji's thoughts and Renji nodded in turn. "Okay, then." Renji muttered.

Soon all conversation was lost and the only sound that could be heard were the short pants and whimpers from Ichigo as Renji sucked and nipped down his neck. Renji let his hands wander further up Ichigo's shirt and gave his nipples a light pinch. Ichigo gasped sharply as pleasure began to thread through every nerve at Renji's touch.

He groaned as he felt his shirt come off over his head and be tossed haphazardly into the dark room. Ichigo tugged at Renji's clothed shoulder and growled. "No fair." He hissed. Renji chuckled and sat on his heels for a moment to pull off the top of his Shihakusho before diving back down and reclaiming Ichigo's lips.

Ichigo moaned and ran his hands across the shinigami's back and through the loose strands of hair that had long sense escaped the spiky pony tail. Renji pulled out of the kiss and continued his journey downward, only stopping to lightly nibble on the pink stubs. Ichigo let out another moan, this one sharp and laced with need as he tugged at Renji's hair, trying to hurry him along.

"Please, Renji... I need..."

"I know, it's okay. I'm right here with ya."

Renji gently kissed Ichigo's lips before working his hands lower to unbutton the tight jeans. Ichigo held tighter to Renji's back and shoulders, prepairing for what was to come. Renji unzipped and, in one swift movement, pulled Ichigo's pants off of the boy's skinny legs and tossed the garment into the dark room as he had done with their other cloths.

Renji leaned down and kissed Ichigo deeply again as he ground his hips against his. Ichigo moaned but it was muffled against the shinigami's lips. He tugged at Renji's sash before successfully untying it and helping Renji to remove the last half of the Shihakusho. As Ichigo expected, Renji was completely bare underneath the uniform and was now nude in the presence of the boy.

Ichigo had little time to look Renji over before a blinding wave of pleasure engulfed him. Renji leaned down and, through the thin fabric of Ichigo's boxer shorts, nipped at his arousal. Ichigo let a shuddered moan escape his pail lips.

Renji quickly pulled down Ichigo's boxers, his prize springing loose as he reached for it. Renji swirled his tounge around the head of Ichigo's erection, earning another moan from the boy, before continuing. He took Ichigo completely in his mouth, swirling his tounge around under the sensitive underside and lapping at every surface available. Ichigo cried out as the delicious wet heat and pressure engulfed his senses. He tried desperately to thrust into that heat but his hips were held in place by Renji's strong arms. He squirmed and moaned as he gripped Renji's hair and shoulders, begging for more.

Then, in an embarrassingly short time, he was coming. He felt a tingle spread through out his body and only realized what it was too late. He nudged Renji's shoulder to try and warn him but soon had come and felt as Renji swallowed it with what felt like practiced ease. Renji's name came tumbling from his lips as his world went white and that wet heat released him with one final lick.

Ichigo huffed and untangled his fingers from Renji's hair, running them across Renji's back as the shinigami leaned back up to kiss him. Renji kissed his lips lightly and ground his erection against Ichigo's, groaning.

"Renji..." Ichigo sighed. "I need you... need to feel you inside me..."

Renji stopped and looked down at Ichigo, eyes wide. "But... We don't have anything to make it easier and I haven't prepaired you or-"

"I don't care! Fuck me dry! I just need..." Ichigo huffed a moment more before his breath steadied a bit and he closed his eyes. "I need you, Renji."

Renji smiled and kissed Ichigo. "I get it." He grumbled. "I need you too."

Renji then ran his hands along Ichigo's thighs, enjoying the small arousing sounds that came from the boy. He slowly lifted Ichigo's legs above his shoulders and set the boy into place as he pressed himself against his entrance, letting him feel his size. Ichigo winced and chocked back a gasp, trying to hide it from Renji.

Renji smirked and ran his hand down Ichigo's waist. "Not so tough now, huh?"

Ichigo grumbled and pulled Renji down for a rough kiss, silencing him. Renji took the hint and slowly began to slide himself in. Ichigo pulled out of the kiss and gasped, first in pain but then moaning in the pleasure that soon followed after.

Renji fully sheathed himself and gasped as Ichigo's virgin muscles tightened around his cock. He groaned and gripped Ichigo's hips, waiting for him to relax and get use to the feel of him.

Ichigo gasped and huffed, scrapping his nails across Renji's back and across his scalp, taking fist fulls of hair. "Renji..." He moaned, tossing his head back. Renji kissed Ichigo's lips before slowly beginning to move. He pulled out all the way to the tip before plunging back into the Ichigo, earning a loud gasp and deep moan. He continued like this, starting out slowly but eventually moving faster as desire and need grew.

Ichigo's arms slid off Renji's back and fell against the soft sheets. He desperately gripped them, feeling his renewed orgasm press against his stomach. The next thing he knew, Renji was grabbing, stroking him in time with his thrusts. Ichigo just about lost it right there when Renji brushed against something deep inside of him. He gave out a hardy moan and gripped Renji's ass, pushing him in deeper with each thrust.

"More... I need more..."

Renji groaned and altered the direction of his thrusts, realizing what Ichigo meant. He knew he had done right when Ichigo gave out another sharp gasp followed by a deep moan. "Yes... right there... more... Renji!"

Renji gasped and groaned as Ichigo tightened with each thrust. He felt himself strike the boy's prostate time and time again, knowing that must be the source of Ichigo's pleas and moans. Renji found himself calling out Ichigo's name, shuddering and gasping as he came close to his climax. He quickened the pace on Ichigo's cock and slammed into Ichigo harder and faster. "So good... You feel so good Ichigo..."

Ichigo cried out Renji's name and soon felt as he came for the second time, spilling his seed across his and Renji's stomachs. He clawed at the red head's back and tugged at his hair as he was pumped dry. Renji, feeling the intensity behind Ichigo's release, coming soon after, crying out Ichigo's name along with his own.

Renji's movement started to slow and become shaky. He thrust one final time before pulling out and collapsing onto Ichigo, feeling their heartbeats merge. Renji slowly forced himself to lay beside Ichigo, gathering the boy in his arms and holding his tightly against his body. He sighed and ran his hands through the boy's hair. Ichigo nestled against Renji's neck and practically purred as the older man massaged his scalp.

They lay in silence for a few moments, slowly coming down from their incredible high. Renji kissed the top of Ichigo's head tenderly and ran his free hand down his cheek. Ichigo sighed and Renji felt as his heart beat slowed to a normal pace against his chest.

"Ichigo? You awake?"

"No." The substitute shinigami sighed again.

Renji chuckled and continued his stroking and tender kisses. It felt good. The warmth their bodies pressed so firmly together, bright orange hair tickling his cheek, Ichigo's heart beat against his chest... they were all feelings Renji had longed for and now held tightly in his grasp.

"Ichigo..." Renji called. Ichigo opened his eyes and looked up at Renji. Renji's eyes remained closed. "Where do we... go from here?" Ichigo's eyes widened. "What do you... what do you mean?" Renji's hand stilled and his eyes slowly opened to meet Ichigo's. "I mean, what do we do? Do we tell everyone? Let them just find out? Hide it? I know Rukia knows. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have come, done what I'd done, or be here with you now. If we want to keep it a secret than I'm sure Rukia wouldn't mind, but..." Renji sighed and wrapped his arms around Ichigo's waist. "This sort of thing is frowned now and days, isn't it?"

Ichigo cringed and buried his face against Renji's chest. "I... I don't want... to do anything that might cause trouble... but I don't want to hide things from our friends ether." Renji nodded and felt as Ichigo wormed his arms around his chest. "Renji... I've never felt so good." Ichigo sighed as a small smile crept across his lips. "I never imagined that I'd be here in your arms, feeling you hold me. I use to dream of us together like this but never did I think... we would come so far..."

Renji chuckled and nuzzled Ichigo's hair. "So you've dreamed about sleeping with attractive men before?" He teased. Ichigo blushed madly and punched Renji lightly in the arm. "Shut up! You're ruining the moment!" Ichigo wined. Renji grumbled and nuzzled Ichigo's hair, calming the boy and stroking his back softly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry."

Renji replayed everything Ichigo said in his head. Ichigo didn't want to risk ruining his relationship with his friends and family but he didn't want to hide it from them ether. Renji sighed. Ichigo may feel good now but later, depending on his decision, he could end up hurting not only those around him but himself horribly.

Then Renji realized something.

This must have been one of the reasons I tried not to end up with Ichigo.

He may not have been conscious of this thought in the past but now that he thought of it, it was always pulling at the back of his mind, begging for attention. It was there along with many other problems Renji had just now come to realize would surface. Renji looked down at his new lover.

"Ichigo? You awake?"

This time there was no response besides the deep breathing coming from the substitute shinigami. Ichigo had fallen asleep which meant he would have to wait until morning to talk to Ichigo about what they would face.

Renji sighed and kissed Ichigo's forehead before closing his eyes and allowing himself to relax, clearing his mind. The last thing he thought was the irony of how Ichigo's hair smelled like strawberrys, before he followed his new lover off to sleep.

-/-/-/-

A/N: Woo! New chapter! Hey, where are you guys? Did you die from the growing crappiness of this fic or have you just decided not to review now that the smut is over? Oh! Speaking of smut, how was it? I feel it was kind of rushed but it was only my second smut scene. T.T Hope I didn't fuck up TOO bad. Well, now that Ichigo and Renji are together what will everyone think?! Me and my girlfriend agree that there must be at least one person who must oppose the thing (if only a first) so it's time to review and vote! (I'm serious people, I'm at a total loss here! I wanna make it Isshin because in every fic I've read he's okay with it and that just seems a little wrong to me. I mean, I know he supports everything his kids do but he has to draw the line some where!)

A) Uryƫ

B) Isshin

C) Yuzu/Karin

D) Orihime

E) OTHER:

PLEEEEEEASE PEOPLE!! I NEED YOUR OPINION HERE!! HELP ME!!