"Okay," the voice said, "Can you look at me?"
Cara blinked repeatedly, trying to sharpen her vision. She was still hyperventilating, battling with her panic attack, but she could just about make out Fletch's face in front of her.
"Cara, is it okay if I hold your hands?"
Cara forced herself to nod her head, unable to respond in any other way. Her chest was tight, she had pins and needles in her hands and feet, and her eyes were watering. She felt Fletch hold her hands in a firm grip, and tried to focus on his voice.
"Okay, Cara, here's what we are going to do next. We are going to breathe in for four, hold for four, and then breathe out for four. You are safe, you are going to be okay, and I will help you come through this. Now then. In, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4."
Cara could feel him squeeze her hand as he counted the 'in' breaths, and loosen his hold during the 'out' breaths. She tried to focus on what he was saying, but she was struggling. The panic attack was too bad. But Fletch was patient, and just kept counting for her until she was able to start trying to match it.
In, 2, 3, 4.
Hold, 2, 3, 4.
Out, 2, 3, 4.
In, 2, 3, 4.
Hold, 2, 3, 4.
Out, 2, 3, 4.
In, 2, 3, 4.
Hold, 2, 3, 4.
Out, 2, 3, 4.
After about ten minutes, she was able to start matching his counts, and another ten minutes after that, she started to feel her heart slowing down, and the tingling in her hands and feet started to dissipate.
Fletch kept counting, never wavering, never trying to hurry her, never giving any indication that he had somewhere else to be.
As Cara's breathing evened out, she became aware of the fact that one of her coworkers had just witnessed her having a panic attack. Embarrassed, she tried to push herself to her feet, but her legs weren't strong enough to hold her up and she just crumbled back down to the ground again. With her back pressed against the wall, knees drawn up to her chest, she resumed exactly the same position as she was in before.
Fletch gently placed his hands on her knees and encouraged her to stretch them out in front of her.
"Here," he said, "Stretch them out, and it will stop you diaphragm from being compressed, and it will make it easier to breathe."
Cara nodded, and as she sensed him sitting down next to her, with her back against the wall and one of her hands still in his, she took a moment to close her eyes, take a few, slow, deep breaths, and ensure that the panic attack was calming down.
"How are you doing?" Fletch asked. When she didn't reply vocally, he added, "Are you feeling a little bit calmer?"
Cara nodded again, grateful that he understood that she couldn't quite speak yet.
They both sat there in silence for a few minutes, when the door to AAU burst open, and Raf came barrelling through. Crouching down in front of her, he took her hands.
"I am so sorry, Cara," Raf began, "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. Are you okay?"
Cara pulled her knees up to her chest, removed her hands from Raf's, and wrapped them around her legs.
"N-n-n-not your f-f-fault," she stuttered, "S-s-s-sorry I c-c-c-c-couldn't help-p-p."
Raf rubbed his face with his hands, but as he went to reply, Fletch cut in.
"Hey, mate, just give her a bit longer, yeah? She's still recovering."
Raf nodded, looking crestfallen, as he walked back into AAU.
After a further ten minutes sat in silence, Fletch asked the question that had been on his lips from the moment that he spotted her having a panic attack in the middle of the corridor.
"Is this why you were off the other day?"
Nod.
"Have you ever been diagnosed with anxiety?"
Nod.
"I'm so sorry that I gave you a hard time."
"N-n-n-not your fault," she whispered.
"Do you want to go home?" he asked.
Cara just shook her head.
"Let me g-g-g-g-get some wat-t-ter and I'll b-b-be ok-k-kay in a few m-m-minutes."
Fletch nodded as he stood up, holding a hand out to help her up. He lightly touched her hip, to let her know that he was there if she needed the support to balance, but she just put a hand to the wall, and slowly walked back to the ward.
A/N: I'm not sure if I like this chapter or not. It all feels rather disjointed, but that's how panic attacks are – you don't always pick up on everything going on around you. The breathing technique I wrote about here was one that a Doctor taught me when my panic attacks were really bad. But today marks me going two years without a panic attack! I'm really proud of myself, especially considering I used to have them almost daily! Please leave me a review and let me know what you think of the story so far.
Interesting fact: I didn't know who would help Cara through her panic attack until I actually started writing this chapter!
