To Have and To Hold

Author's Note: Please do not read this chapter if you are feeling depressed. There are some possible trigger points in here that I am not sure how to label. Again, if you are feeling sad or depressed and trigger easily, do not read the end of this chapter if you are in a slump. All I can say is that the story does NOT end here. This story is still on going. It is, however, going to get a little dark from this point on. Please read the other note at the end of the chapter for some clarification points.

Chapter Eight: Unexpected Surprises and Dire Situations

Emma rinsed her mouth with water before spitting it into the sink. She looked up in the mirror and stared at her pale reflection. Her green eyes were red rimmed from lack of sleep. She quickly ran back to the toilet as bile raised back up in her throat. She dry heaved for a moment, considering there was nothing left in her stomach. She had thrown her breakfast up only moments earlier. She groaned slightly as she rested her head on the cool seat of the toilet.

Worry immediately coated her stomach, causing more bile to rise in the back of her throat. She quickly swallowed, trying not to get sick again. It had been two and a half months since she and Neal had spent the night together, two and a half months since her birthday. She didn't want to admit it but she was scared. The throwing up had been going on for about a month now. It was usually accompanied by dizziness and, one time, even fainting. She had woke up not even a moment later. She had been so embarrassed about passing out that she hadn't even told anyone, not even Neal. Now, she was beginning to wonder if that was the right thing to do.

Other symptoms had appeared as well. She had gained a little bit of weight, enough to make her pants fit snug around her waist, and her mood was all over the place, swinging from happy to extremely depressed in less than a second. Hell, she had even cried the day before because Neal had eaten the rest of her bagel. He had quickly ran to the store to buy more when her crying changed to yelling, something she apologized about for hours.

"Emma?" she heard her mother say, opening the door slightly. "Are you alright?"

Emma looked up and stared her mother in the eyes. Snow White looked rather worried. Emma gave a weak smile. "I'm ok. Just a stomach bug."

Snow nodded but she didn't look completely convinced. "Everyone's waiting in the dinner. Should I have them come back later?"

Emma shook her head. "It's too important to postpone. Especially after Morgana attacked Henry last month."

Snow flinched, remembering the situation.

It had been about a month after Neal and Emma officially got back together. Henry had been so excited that his parents were a couple again. Everything had seemed perfect, if only for a moment. Of course, Morgana had to shatter that perfect vision by going after Henry. Emma shuddered, thinking about what would have happened if Morgana had succeeded in kidnapping her son.

"Hey," Snow said gently as she laid a hand on Emma shoulder. "We got to him in time. Luckily, Neal was two steps ahead of her."

Emma smiled and pulled out a little black pager from her back pocket. About a week after the breakfast at Granny's, Neal had presented Emma and Henry with identical looking pagers while Emma had been working on some paperwork in her office.

"Isn't this a little outdated?" Emma had asked.

Neal grinned. "Maybe but," he reached over and pressed the button on her pager. He looked over at the computer screen of her computer and she blinked when the screen lit up with her exact location. She jumped when Neal's and Henry's phones went off. Neal pulled his out of his pocket. "Think of it as a distress call. I used magic to create them. Yours will send a signal to mine and Henry's phones while Henry's will alert our phones. Both will automatically appear on your computer screen."

Emma blinked in surprise before looking down at the little black box. "Is this what you've been working on the past few weeks?"

Neal grinned sheepishly. "Yea. I wanted some way for the both of you to be able to send a distress call if you need it. I can also add your pager to your parent's phones as backup."

Emma grinned. She threw her arms around Neal, causing him to stumble at the sudden hug. She stared him directly in the eyes. "You are brilliant."

Neal grinned before kissing her. The pair broke apart and laughed when Henry made a mock noise of disgust. He was grinning the entire time, his face shining with happiness and excitement.

"I'm just glad Neal made the pagers," Emma replied. "If he hadn't…"

"We would have still gotten to him," Snow said quietly.

Emma nodded, not because she believed her. She just wanted to get off the topic of almost losing her son. Emma cleared her throat. "Let's get back. Everyone is waiting."

Snow frowned, clearly seeing through Emma but she didn't say anything as she walked with her daughter out of the bathroom and into Granny's Diner. Neal looked up from his spot and watched Emma with a worried expression. She sat down next to him and he gently took her hand.

"You ok?" he asked quietly, his thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand.

Emma nodded. "I'm fine. Just a little bug, is all."

Neal stared at her, worry clouding his warm brown eyes as they burrowed directly into hers. She gave a small smile.

"I'll go see Whale tomorrow, if it makes you feel any better," she replied quietly, placing her other hand on his.

The worry disappeared a little as Neal nodded, clearly please that she was willing to get some help.

"We could continue this another time, if you're not feeling well," Merlin offered.

Emma shook her head. "I'll be fine. It's just a stomach bug," she replied, wondering how many times she needed to tell the little lie before she started to believe it.

Merlin frowned but nodded. "We think we may have figured out why the Darkness regressed. But first," he looked at Neal, "I think you should give your dagger to someone else."

Emma felt Neal freeze and he glared at Merlin, clearly ready to snap at him before Merlin held his hands up.

"Let me explain," he said calmly. "Morgana only attacked Henry because she figured out he had the dagger. As long as your son has it, he will be a target."

Emma tightened her grip on Neal's hand. "I think it's a good idea, Neal. I know you want Henry to help keep you, you but it does put a really big target on his head."

Henry frowned, clearly unhappy with the arrangement. Neal sighed sharply, pushing back the Darkness as it nagged at him, saying that everyone was simple trying to control him. He eventually nodded. "Who will keep the dagger then?"

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "I would assume that you would keep it. Emma seems to be doing a pretty good job of keeping you sane. As long as someone has the dagger, she can take it from them. But Morgana can't take the dagger from you. Those are the rules. You have to give it to her willingly."

Neal sighed, rubbing his face with his left hand. Henry quietly reached into his backpack and pulled out the dagger, which was wrapped in one of his scarves. He quickly handed it to his dad. Neal took the dagger and unwrapped it slowly, staring at his name that slowly began to reveal itself. He quickly put the dagger away, tucking it gently in his jacket pocket. Emma gave his hand another gentle squeeze. He gave her a small smile in return.

"Now," Regina said, dispelling the tense atmosphere. "What have you leaned?"

Merlin scratched the end of his nose. "It's actually more of a theory. Theoretically, the Darkness shouldn't have transferred without Rumpelstiltskin being stabbed by his dagger. It definitely shouldn't have change back to its original form."

"What happened?" Belle asked.

"Two things," Merlin replied as he held up two fingers. "One, Neal opened the Dark One's Vault, the origins of the curse."

"But I thought you said before that it shouldn't have made him into the Dark One," Regina said as she crossed her arms.

Merlin looked a little annoyed at being interrupted. "I did say that, yes, however, something else had to come into play for this to work."

"And what would that be?" Rumpelstiltskin asked quietly but clearly.

Merlin looked at Neal. "He has to have been exposed to Old Religion magic. When did you visit Camelot?"

Neal frowned. "I didn't. The only places I have been were the Enchanted Forest, Neverland, and the Land Without Magic during the early Victorian Era."

Merlin frowned as Arthur groaned. "Great," Arthur said. "More unexplained events."

"I have a question," Henry piped up. "How did Morgana turn out to be that way she is? She couldn't have been born that way. Evil's not born, it's made," he quoted something his mother had told him long ago.

Arthur flinched, Merlin looked down, Gwen looked like she was going to cry, and Gaius looked like he had aged fifty years in two seconds.

"She wasn't always that way," Arthur answered quietly. "Circumstances lead to her turning against us." He looked at his best friend (something he would never say aloud) and his wife. "The four of us used to be a team, always fighting for what was right, even when my father didn't believe it was."

"Morgana was once someone you could go to if you ever needed help, once upon a time," Gwen picked up where he husband left off. "She was like a sister to me, even though, technically, I was below her in status." Gwen smiled sadly. "She didn't let that stop her from running out to rescue me."

"She help my old village, once," Merlin smiled. "Uther, Arthur and Morgana's father, refused to help when my old village was attacked by bandits. Morgana insisted on going to help and even went behind Uther's back when he told her not to."

Snow blink. "She disobeyed her father's orders?"

Gaius grimaced. "Morgana didn't find out that Uther was her father until after she changed."

"Show us," David said.

Merlin blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Show us how she became who she is," Regina supplied.

Merlin grimaced. "I can't use my magic, remember." He quickly glanced at Neal.

Neal flinched, remember the one time during magic practice that Merlin accidently slipped up and used a spell. Luckily, Emma was able to intercept Neal before the Darkness could make him do something he would have regretted later.

"I can do it," Emma replied. "I've progressed rather well these last two months."

Merlin nodded. "That you have. Ok," he sighed. "I'll walk you through the steps. Do you have something to house the memory in?"

Emma frowned and opened her mouth to speak.

"Will this work?" Neal asked as he produced a dreamcatcher from thin air.

Merlin nodded. "It will."

Neal handed the dreamcatcher he had finished the night before to Emma. Emma quickly focused her magic and held the dreamcatcher up to Merlin's forehead. The group watched, transfixed, as the images began to play out. They all saw Morgana as a beautiful, spirited woman with a caring heart change into the cold-hearted, hauntingly beautiful High Priestess she had become. The watched as Morgana leaned about her magic from her half-sister and felt her anger grow as everything began to stack up, brick upon brick piling up on top of her. The images ended with Morgana facing Merlin, Gwen, Gaius, and Arthur, throwing down a swirling orb of black and deep purple.

"That's how we ended up here," Merlin supplied. "When Neal escaped the Vault, the orb appeared to Morgana. She didn't realize what it was until she confronted us, thinking it was something I had left for her, something to get rid of her magic."

"So, she started all of this just because Uther lied to her?" Regina asked. "I understand her being upset but to go all 'Evil Sorceress' because her father wouldn't admit his affair is a little much, don't you think?"

Merlin opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by Gaius.

"There's more to it than that," the Court Physician replied quietly. Merlin blinked in confusion.

"Gaius," Arthur warned, his tone cold. It clearly started Merlin, as he looked over at his friend in confusion.

"They have to know, sire," Gaius replied. He quickly turned back to the group. "About twenty years ago, four years before Merlin arrived in Camelot, a young man took up residence in the castle. I took him in as my assistant. He eventually befriended Arthur, Gwen, and Morgana."

"Gaius," Arthur said sternly, clearly displease with the elder man. "This matter is not relevant."

"Of course it is, sire," Gaius replied. "The Lady Morgana has held resentment for Uther ever since-"

Arthur slammed his hands down on the table. "We will not speak of this matter anymore. That's an order." He quickly stood, almost bolting out the door in anger. Merlin quickly followed, leaving a stunned Gwen and a worried Gaius.

"I apologize," Gaius replied. "But we must take our leave." He help Gwen out of her chair and the pair made their way out the door.

"Well, that was odd," Regina said. "And a little rude."

Emma sighed.

"His mood reminded me of a pregnant woman's," Robin said suddenly. "I remember when Marion had been pregnant with Roland. One minute, she was crying, the next she was yelling at me over silly things like leaving the fire going."

Emma froze, a light bulb suddenly going off in her head. In that moment, all of her symptoms began to connect and form a bigger picture. Nausea filled her stomach and rose in the back of her throat. She swallowed quickly and stood, getting everyone's attention. She smiled, hoping she didn't look as pale as she felt.

"I'm going to head to the station," she replied. "It's my shift today."

David frowned. "Let me take over today. You aren't feeling well."

She waved him off. "I'm fine. It's just a bug. I'm going to see Whale in the morning anyways."

She left quickly, not giving anyone the time to counter her. She bit her lip as she realized this was the first time she had been away from Neal in the last two months. A part of her wanted to run back to him and drag him with her, for him to help her through the next hour, holding her hand the entire time. She drew a deep breath, steeling herself and her thoughts. If she was right, then they would have all the time in the world to talk. Even with her thoughts of dread, a little bubble of excitement appeared in her stomach, making her feel a little giddy. She continued on her way, not realizing that she had a little bounce in her step, nor did she realize that she was being watched by a certain High Priestess as the woman chuckled to herself. All was going according to plan.

BELLE!

"Are you absolutely sure?" Emma whispered quietly, watching Whale as he looked at the test results.

He smiled. "Positive. I could do an ultrasound if you are still doubtful."

Emma nodded numbly. She laid back on the examination table and lifted her shirt off of her stomach. Whale tucked a disposable paper in the top of her jeans before squeezing the cold gel on her stomach. Emma bit her lip as the cold gel hit her stomach. Above her, the lights flickered a little, causing Whale to pause.

"Was that you or…?" he asked.

"I don't know," Emma replied honestly.

Whale nodded and placed the probe on her stomach, swirling the gel around as the image flickered to life on the ultrasound machine. Emma stared at the black and white image, trying to make everything out.

Whale smiled and paused the image. "There," he pointed. "That's your baby."

Emma felt tears welt up in her eyes. She knew she should have brought Neal with her. He would have loved this, especially since he could have been there for Henry's ultrasound or birth.

We'll make up for that, she thought as a smile stretched across her face. Sure, she was absolutely terrified of having a baby but she wasn't alone this time. She had Henry, her parents, Regina, Gold and Belle, and most of all Neal to help her through this.

Whale cleared his throat, getting her attention. "You're about 11 weeks along. I take it you know who the father is?"

Emma nodded. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that this was Neal's child, Henry's full brother or sister. "Is the baby healthy?" she asked, a different type of worry making itself known.

Whale smiled and nodded. "Perfectly healthy. You, on the other hand, seem to be a little undernourished. Nothing to worry about," he said as a panicked look crossed her face. "Extreme morning sickness can do that to you. I'll call you in some prescriptions to help with the nausea and some prenatal supplements to help with the baby's development."

Emma gave a sigh of relief, knowing the baby was healthy. Her heath, she could improve with a little time and effort.

"Now," Whale said suddenly, "I want you to take it easy. I won't say anything about the baby to anyone. I'll let you do that," he grinned. "However, you are still in the risk zone for a miscarriage. I would leave all strenuous activities to David or Neal. Don't do any heavy lifting or tacking any bad guys for the next six and a half months."

Emma snorted. "Alright, doc. I'll leave all the fun activities to the boys," she teased. "Am I free to go?"

Whale nodded. "I'll give you the prescriptions from the hospital. I know Doc will probably let it slip to Snow if I call them in."

He left quickly and returned just as fast with a couple of prescription bottles. After explaining what was what, Emma quickly left the hospital. This time, she could feel the bounce in her step. She knew, that if anyone were to see her, they could tell that she was practically glowing. Her phone beeped. She quickly pulled it out and saw a message from Neal. She had a couple of missed calls from her parents but she ignored them, going, instead, directly to the text message that Neal sent her.

Meet me at Papa's cabin. I have a surprise for you.

Emma grinned and sent him a reply.

Ok. Be there in a mo. I have a surprise for you as well.

BEAUTYANDTHEBEAST!

The yellow VW beetle pulled up to the small cabin that was nestled in the woods, gravel crunching softly under its wheels. Emma killed the engine and hopped out, shutting the door quietly and quickly made her way to the front door. She grinned and gave a knock.

"Come in," she heard Neal say and she couldn't hold back the grin that spread across her face.

Emma opened the door and quickly stepped in. "What's this surp—"

She stopped short, spotting Neal quickly. The smiled slipped from her face as she took in the man before her. He was wearing the exact same outfit from earlier this morning but, unlike before, his white shirt and dark green jacket were covered in blood. His face and hands were also splattered in the crimson liquid, his expression completely void of emotions. But it wasn't the blood or the lack of emotions that stopped Emma's heart. It was the dead look in his eyes, the very same one that he got when the two had met Morgana in the woods almost three months ago.

Emma jumped when the door slammed shut behind her. She turned quickly, grabbing her gun and aimed it right at the smirking face of Morgana.

"Oh, put that away," she said, waving her hand.

Emma suddenly felt vulnerable as the gun she had been holding disappeared from her hands. She balled her hands into fists, glaring at the other woman harshly. "What the hell do you want?"

Morgana smirked even more and gracefully strode past Emma sitting herself in front of the fire. "Nothing really. Just for you to get out of my way."

Emma didn't say anything. She keep her eyes on Morgana, watching Neal out of the corner of her eyes.

Morgana pouted at Emma silence. "Come now," she said. "Do you not know how to hold a conversation? You are a princess, after all."

"I'd rather not converse with the enemy, thanks," Emma replied hotly, her emotions running high. "Why am I here? And what the hell did you do to Neal?"

Morgana raised an eyebrow. "To the point, I see. I didn't do anything to your dear Neal," she sneered. "He is my pet after all."

"He isn't yours," Emma hissed. "He will never be."

Morgana stopped smiling. Her face became as cold as a glacier and just as hard. "You really are an annoyance."

Emma smiled. "I try."

Morgana narrowed her eyes and waved her hand. Before Emma could even respond, she felt herself slammed against the wall of the cabin, her head hitting the wood hard. Her ears rang and head spun as she felt the cold touch of a blade under her chin. She opened her blurry eyes to stare right into Neal's dead ones. She bit back a whimper as she took in the cold, emotionless expression on his face. Even the sound of her in pain didn't cause any reaction. Emma tilted her head up as he dug the blade of his dagger into her throat even more.

"How does it feel?" Morgana asked as she walked over, her face stopping close to Emma's. "How does it feel to loss the one you love?"

"What do you know of love?" Emma hissed, her eyes stinging with tears.

Morgana snared. "More than you think. Love made me the way I am today. And it's all his fault."

Emma momentarily flashed back to the conversation Arthur had cut off in the diner this morning. Emma bit her lip, suddenly fearing for the safety of her unborn child. She subconsciously placed her hand on her stomach, drawing Morgana's attention down.

She smiled cruelly. "How long did it take you to realize?" she asked with a smile.

Emma bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from making a smart remark. "I found out just this morning," she whispered quietly, looking over at Neal.

Morgana followed her eyes. "Oh, don't worry. He won't remember any of this when he wakes up. It will all be a blank. Even the part where he attacked someone."

Emma felt like someone had dumped ice in her veins. She swallowed back the acid that rose in the back of her throat. "Who did you make him attack?"

Morgana shrugged. "The hell if I know. Some woman. Not very tall, kind of petite. Chestnut brown hair, blue eyes."

"Belle," Emma muttered quietly.

Morgana grinned. "That's right. His father's little girlfriend. Unfortunately, she got away before he could kill her." She pouted slightly before turning back to Emma. "More than I could say for you."

Emma knew she was limited on time. Her hand that was to her side reached into her pocket and pressed the panic button on the pager. On the coffee table, Neal's phone light up but luckily didn't make a sound. "How did you know I was pregnant?" Emma whispered, hoping to stall.

Morgana raised an eyebrow. "Did you really think you got pregnant just after the first try? Heavens, no." She grinned suddenly. "I gave you a little help."

Emma felt her stomach drop. "What?"

Morgana smiled. "I slipped a potion into your drink about three months ago. It was a potion to make sure you would get pregnant. It lasts in a woman's body for about three months so it was only a matter of time before you and your precious Neal made up."

"Why did you do that?" Emma asked. "Why would you want to get me pregnant?"

Morgana smirked again. "To do this." She snapped her fingers.

Emma expected Morgana to hit her with a spell or to make her miscarry. What she was not expecting, however, was the feeling of Neal's lips on hers, pressing softly and gently. Emma closed her eyes unintentionally, her hormones getting the best of her. She didn't realize the dagger had left her throat nor did she realize an arm snaked around her waist drawing her closer. The only thing she focused on was the warm feeling of Neal's lips on hers, his body pressing her against the wall. She inhaled sharply when he pulled away suddenly. She opened her mouth to say something to get him out of the spell.

Only to double over when he punched her directly in the stomach. Emma cried out in surprise before the pain sharpened from a dull ache to an intense burning. She let out a gurgling gasp as she looked down. Embedded in her stomach was a dagger, Neal's dagger, the one that bared his real name. His hand was slick with her blood, which quickly splattered across the floor as he ripped the dagger out of her stomach. Emma fell to the ground, wrapping her arms around her bleeding stomach. She coughed, blood bubbling up her throat and coating her lips red.

"No," she whispered, pushing on the wound, trying fruitlessly to keep the blood from existing her body.

Morgana laughed. It was almost inaudible to Emma, whose hearing was failing as her body went into shock. "Have fun raising your baby," she taunted with a wave before disappearing with a swirl of magic.

Emma blinked slowly, her vision darkening around the edges. It felt as if someone had stuffed cotton in her ears. Her head lolled to the side as she faintly heard someone calling out to her, telling her to stay awake. She looked up, staring Neal in the face as he pulled her into his lap, tear streaming down his face, washing away from of the blood that had been there. Belle's blood, her mind supplied. Emma coughed again, suddenly felling cold. She shivered, reaching up to caress Neal's cheek, her fingers gently brushing against the stubble there.

"I love you," she whispered, wishing she had told him before. Lately, all it seemed like she was doing was telling him those three little, important words when either of them was in a dire situation.

"Stay with me, Emma," Neal pleaded, his hand pressing a towel to her stomach, trying to stem the blood flow. "I need you to stay with me. Don't go to sleep," he choked out, his voice hoarse and rough. "Oh, god," he whispered, his voice catching suddenly. "What have I done?"

Emma frowned and pulled his head down to hers. "It's not your fault. I love you" she whispered again before pressing her lips to his, feeling the warmth that washed through her as she kissed the man she loved for what would probably be the last time. Her body gave out, her head dropping back to rest in his arms as her hand fell away from his face.

"Emma?" Neal said quietly. "EMMA!"

Emma smiled slightly as she felt herself drift down further into the darkness.

SWANFIRE!

"Dammit!" Neal yelled as he felt Emma go limp in his arms. He was so confused right now, so very confused. He remembered walking to the library with Belle, hoping to get some more information on the Dark One. He remembered a warm feeling washing over him before his thoughts and conscious went black. The next thing he knew, Emma was laying on the floor covered in blood. He had immediately dropped the bloodstained dagger, bile raising in his throat as he realized just what he had done.

"Shit," he cursed, looking around the cabin. Emma needed help and she needed it fast. Through caution to the wind, he swirled his magic out, teleporting the two of them out of the cabin and directly into the Emergency Room of the hospital, startling the nurses and doctors working there. He could do nothing but watch as they quickly took Emma back, leaving him feeling cold and alone. He sat in one of the cold plastic chairs. He hung his head and cried, praying with everything he had that Emma would make it through this. If she didn't, Neal knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

Just to let you know, Emma is not dead and neither is the baby. But, for the plot's sake, Emma is going to think she lost the baby. I didn't want you guys, as the readers, to think I let Emma get pregnant just to kill the baby off. Again, Emma does NOT lose the baby. In the next chapter, we will see the aftermath of Morgana's plot and the effects it has on both Emma and Neal as well as the rest of the crew. BTW, Neal doesn't know about the baby. He just thinks that he stabbed Emma on Morgana's command. His mind was submerged under the Darkness when Morgana revealed her plot. Please let me know what you think. I hope you are enjoying the story thus far.

I will have to say that I was almost in tears writing the end of this chapter. It was not an easy chapter to write. The only thing that keep me going was knowing that Emma wasn't going to lose her baby. Emma and Neal are both going to have a very rough time getting by this. Until next time.

-KleopatraAlexandria