Chapter 8

Before they stepped foot into the boys' room, Carly placed her hand on Sonny's arm, and he turned to her. She always had this way—even when she was angry as hell with him—to be there even without saying a word. That was just one of the many things that made him fall in love with her. They could fight like wolves. They could go for the jugular, but when it came down to family, they could be there for each other without blinking twice.

"Sonny, I just want you to know that you don't have to do this alone. I know this is going to be hard. I'll help you out in any way I can. Kristina and Molly are going to need as much love and support as they can get." He nodded slowly.

"You're very good with them. Even Alexis couldn't deny that." He shook his head. "It seems strange that she's gone."

"It does. Who am I going to have to argue with?" she asked, trying to make him smile a little.

"Well, there's always the obvious." His eyes bore into hers. "Me." She focused her gaze on little Molly and cleared her throat.

"Ric's going to do whatever he can to take Molly. He could care less about Kristina, Sonny. These girls can't grow up without each other."

"They won't," Sonny assured her. "Why don't we put Molly down in the nursery?" Sonny, with Carly's decorative skills, had turned one of the guest rooms into a nursery when he and Carly had been taking care of the girls while Alexis was in the hospital over Halloween.

They walked into the room that was dashed with pink walls and stuffed animals in every corner. Carly gently placed the baby girl down in the crib, and Molly yawned, stretched, and went back to sleep. Sonny and Carly stood gazing over her crib, watching her sleep without a care, having no idea of all of the changes going on around her.

"Sleep well, baby girl," Sonny whispered, softly stroking her hair. Carly's gaze fell on him, and she saw the tenderness in his eyes, something she'd always loved about him. No matter how bad things were, he could still find a way to try to reach out and soothe those that he loved.

"She's going to be ok, Sonny. You won't have to do this alone." Sonny looked up at her, his eyes full of hope again. "This doesn't mean anything like that. It just means that I know it's going to be hard for you. I know Michael and Morgan would like to help out too."

"Good. I need you guys here," he said softly.

"Daddy?" Carly and Sonny turned toward the door, where Kristina was standing, her soulful brown eyes sparkling with tears. Sonny rushed over to her and picked her up in his arms.

"What is it, Princess?"

"I miss Mommy. When can I see her?" she asked. Sonny glanced back at Carly, and she looked down.

"Kristina, there's something I gotta tell you, ok?" She nodded slowly. Sonny looked at Carly again, and she nodded in understanding, following them out of the nursery and into Kristina's room. Once they were safely inside, Carly shut the door, and Sonny placed Kristina down on the foot of her bed. She looked up at him patiently, and Carly stood aside, watching Sonny try to figure out a way to tell this child that her mother was dead. "Daddy, what's wrong? You look sad."

"I am, sweetheart."

"Why?" she asked. Carly watched Sonny struggle with the words, so she took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"Kristina, you know how we were talking earlier about the angels?"

"Yeah," she said with a definite nod.

"Well, something happened earlier, sweetheart, and there's something you need to know." Kristina looked from Carly to Sonny, her lower lip trembling from thoughts of her previous conversation with Carly.

"Kristina," Sonny said gently, crouching down before her, "your mama's gone to be with the angels."

"No she didn't, Daddy. She went to the hospital to get better." Sonny took his daughter's hand in his.

"Princess, sometimes people go to the hospital to get better, and sometimes they…they can't. Your mommy was so tired from fighting so hard, and now it's time for her to rest."

"But…but if she's with the angels, I won't ever see her again," Kristina whimpered, shrinking back, folding her arms against her chest protectively. Sonny feared she'd slip back inside of herself again. Carly knelt down beside Sonny.

"Kristina, your mommy loved you very much."

"No she didn't! If she did, she wouldn't leave me!" Kristina cried. "I want her back!"

"Honey, your mama can't come back," Sonny whispered. "She's gone. But she's with the angels. She'll be watching over you from Heaven."

"I don't want her in Heaven! I want her here!" she cried. "Please, bring her back! Don't let her go to Heaven, Daddy! Please!" Kristina threw herself into his arms and wrapped her little arms around his neck. Sonny held her, never taking his eyes off of Carly. He watched her brush a tear away and reach out to stroke Kristina's soft, long brown hair.

"Everything's going to be alright, Kristina." But Kristina continued to sob, and Sonny stood up with her, rocking her back and forth. It was then that Molly started crying from the nursery. "I'll get her." Sonny nodded, and Carly stepped out of the room, immediately retrieving the baby from her nap. Molly smiled as soon as she saw Carly, and Carly kissed her forehead.

"Hi, Sweet Pea. Your daddy's with your big sister right now, but I'm here. I'll take care of you."


Nobody spoke at dinner. The boys were solemn, because Kristina had refused to come down to eat. She had buried herself under her covers and swore that she wouldn't leave the room until her mommy came back. Sonny and Carly had taken turns trying to convince her to come out, and Sonny had even tried to pick her up, but Carly convinced him that she'd come out when she was hungry enough. She just needed time to herself without people making it worse.

Molly sat in her high chair and giggled, as Carly fed her. Michael glanced at both of his parents, who said nothing, and he sighed heavily. He couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Are Molly and Kristina gonna stay with us?" he asked.

"Morgan, we'll talk about this later," Carly said softly. "Eat your spaghetti."

"I'm not hungry," he protested. "Is Kristina gonna be ok?"

"She'll be ok. She's hurting right now, buddy, but she'll be ok."

"What if she stops talking again?" wondered Morgan. Sonny couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. He hadn't been there enough during that time, and besides, he wondered if Kristina was predisposed to those shut downs, like her father was to his own breakdowns.

"You know what boys? I think it's getting close to your bedtime."

"But, Mom," Michael protested.

"Your mom's right," Sonny replied.

"Are we staying here tonight?" Morgan asked, looking back and forth between his parents. Carly looked at Molly and then at Sonny.

"I think it might make Molly and Kristina feel better if you boys were here." Sonny smiled a half-smile at Carly, and she swallowed hard, turning back toward Molly. "You, little lady, I think it's time for you to get a bath and head up to bed."

"I'll get Leticia."

"No, no, I'll do it. It's been a while since I've put a little one down to bed."

"I'll wash up down there then." Carly nodded in agreement, as the boys swigged down the last of their milk. Carly followed the boys upstairs, as Molly yawned and wiggled around in her arms. Sonny watched his family disappear up the stairs before he headed into the kitchen.


As he was just finishing up in the kitchen, he heard Carly walk into the nursery to get Molly dressed from her bath. He was about to turn the monitor off, when he heard Carly start to talk.

"There you go, Miss Molly." She must have tickled her, because Molly squealed with delight. "You're such a happy baby, you know that? You don't have any idea what's going on, and I think that's a good thing. Your mommy would want you to be happy. And you know what, I'm gonna make sure you are happy." Molly cooed, and Carly giggled softly. "You know, there are a lot of people that care about you. I care about you and about your sister, and I want you both to be happy. You don't deserve to be without a mother, and even though she's gone, I'm gonna help Sonny make sure you always remember her."

Sonny was in awe of this woman. She was so amazing, and he knew she didn't even realize it.

"You know, when I was helping Sonny take care of you a few months ago, I started thinking about having a baby girl of my own someday. I really thought it would happen with Jax, but…that's over now. I have to move on, and someday, I might have a little girl, and I hope she's just as beautiful as you are." Sonny couldn't believe his ears. Did Carly just say that she and Jax were over? When the hell did that happen? "I thought Jax loved me, but I guess I was just another fling. But you know what, Molly? Just between me and you, I always felt something was off the entire time I was with him. I guess it's because I wasn't used to anybody other than Sonny, but for a while, I didn't think it was the right thing. I thought I was lying to myself, but I think…I think I really started lying to myself when I convinced myself that Jax was perfect for me. Jax isn't perfect. Not by a long shot. I guess it just took me a little while to figure it out. Sonny was right, Molly. Don't tell him that though. He doesn't need an ego-boost."

Sonny stood frozen in the kitchen, listening to Carly speak so softly to the little girl. And when everything was quiet, all he could hear were the baby's breaths, so he hurried out of the kitchen, hoping Carly wouldn't realize he'd been eavesdropping. Within a few minutes, Carly was coming down the stairs, her eye sad and tired. But something else had changed. She didn't look as if she felt chained down. Something in her eyes reminded him of the Carly she used to be when she was with him, but a healthier version. They'd both gotten healthier, so maybe, maybe if they tried again, it really could work this time around.

"Molly's sleeping. She went out like a light," Carly said with a yawn. She covered her mouth with her hand, and that was the moment Sonny noticed she wasn't wearing her ring. He looked away.

"Good. That's good. Thanks for helping with her. It's not gonna be easy, you know?"

"I know," Carly nodded. "I checked in on Kristina. She's sleeping. Maybe in the morning she'll come down for breakfast."

"I want to take her to see Lainey as soon as possible."

"Might be a good idea," Carly agreed. She looked at the clock. It was still early, but she just felt like being alone with her thoughts, even though she knew that would depress her even more. She knew that if she and Sonny spoke too long, they'd get back to talking about their relationship, and she didn't want to fight tonight, especially since she was feeling vulnerable, and when she was feeling like this, she knew how easily things could happen. Not tonight, it wouldn't. "I'm going to go to bed."

"So soon?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm just…I'm tired."

"Alright," he nodded. "I'll see you in the morning." Carly nodded.

"Yeah," she whispered. She turned and walked upstairs without turning back. Sonny swallowed hard and tried to keep himself from going after her.

"Carly," he called out. She turned, gripping the rail. "Are you alright? Is there something else on your mind besides Alexis?" This was her opportunity, and when she started to speak, she realized that she wasn't ready to talk about it just yet.

"No. No, it's nothing. Goodnight, Sonny." She took the steps two at a time, leaving Sonny in silence.


Carly settled down in the bed, leaning her back against the headboard. She looked down at her bare finger, the one that had just hours earlier been occupied by Jax's engagement ring. It was amazing, really, how quickly things could happen. She'd learned about Jax's betrayal and Alexis' death in the same day. Alexis had been showing signs of improvement all along, and now she was gone. How could it have happened so quickly to someone who, even though Carly herself wasn't a big fan, was strong-willed and determined to have things done in certain ways. Surely this wasn't one thing on Alexis' to-do list.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She thought back to when Sonny had been shot, and he'd been lying there with tubes and wires sticking in him, and he'd died on the table. She'd lost him, and he'd come back to her. It had happened in an instant, and when it was all over, they had been happy for a little while.

She couldn't imagine what her life would have been like if she'd lost him then. He had been a big part of her life, most of it actually, and she knew she still wasn't over him. She'd never be over him. But their lives had a way of colliding and ripping apart in the most horrible ways.

None of this was fair. Timing was terrible everywhere, and Carly honestly had no idea what her next move was. All she knew was that she needed to sleep. She needed her head to clear before tomorrow, because who knew what it held in store for her? She had a lot of things to do, and she still needed to make time for her own thoughts.

But with each passing moment, everything seemed to pressurize inside of her. Jax leaving, Jax lying, Jax cheating, Sonny wanting her back, her missing him, her needing comfort, her wanting to help him out, her wanting him to want her, her not knowing if she should want him to want her. Should they go through it again? What the hell was she thinking? Did she really love Jax, or did she just want to love him? She'd thought he was good for her, and it had turned out differently. She'd though Sonny was bad for her, yet here he was, back in her life, and she was fine with that. She wanted him there, and she wanted to be in his. What did this all mean?

As her thoughts continued to consume her, the tears began to fall, and soon, she couldn't control them, and she let out a quiet sob, burying her face in her hands.

As Sonny made his way up to bed, he heard something coming from Carly's room, and he stopped to listen. It was then that he heard her crying, and a lump formed in his throat. Her door wasn't shut all the way, and he peered inside to see her sitting up in the dimly lit room, her face in her hands and her shoulders shaking with each ragged breath. He hated to see her cry, and he hated that she was hurting.

He knew he should leave her be and mind his own business. He started to walk away, but he heard her again, and it broke his heart. He couldn't leave her like this.

Carly looked up when she heard the tap at her door. Through bleary eyes, she saw him standing in the dark hallway, his eyes searching hers. She wanted to stop and show him that she was fine; she was strong. But as soon as she saw him, the walls came crumbling down, and everything poured from her.

"Carly," he said gently, not certain if he should interrupt. She'd seen him, but what about it? "Do you want me to come in?" She looked up at him, and he was waiting for an answer, but what answer? Should she tell him to go the hell away and leave her alone, or should she listen to her heart and open up to him?

When she didn't answer him, he nodded and started to walk away, but then:

"Sonny, wait," she called out. He turned back toward her, and he saw her nod. "Yes."


Author's Note: Thanks again for the great feedback! Keep it coming! It keeps me going:) Carlybabes aka Ashley