Episode 1.10 - Brimstone.
Kensi's not used to being the first to arrive in the morning, but she takes advantage of the quiet to work at getting caught up on some case notes. Deeks had gone in early to work on his most recent case, so she had headed into work at the same time. It was always good to switch up her routine, even if that meant getting to work extra early. She could have used the time to work out in the gym, but she decided the work out she and her husband had shared that morning would suffice.
Instead, she settles at her desk with a large cup of coffee and a donut (or three). An hour (half a cup of coffee and two donuts) later, she's finished three reports and is just starting the fourth when Dom appears from the hallway.
"Morning," she calls.
"Morning," he responds as he takes a seat at his desk. Dom taps the top of his laptop before lifting the lid and turning it on. "No case?"
She shakes her head. "Not yet. I'm just catching up on some reports. I assume you're up to date?"
Dom offers a sheepish smile and nods.
Kensi smiles. She knows he stays late each night to finish all paperwork. He wants so much to prove himself. "I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. It's okay to finish your paperwork the next day as long as it's not a priority case. Technically, all case paperwork is due the following Monday."
"I know. It's just..." He trails off.
Kensi nods and waves a hand. "You don't have to explain. I remember what it was like."
Dom considers her for a moment. "I just really want to make this work," he finally tells her.
"You're doing a good job."
He offers a self-deprecating smile. "I don't think Sam thinks so."
"Sam expects the best of himself. And of everyone else. He's only pushing you so you'll be safe." She knows they've had this conversation before, but she also knows Sam's not exactly out there about to dole out compliments to counter his custom brand of coaching. And Callen's not about to dole out many comments at all; good or bad. And Nate's far too analytical. He notices everything, but says little without being asked. And Eric's too oblivious. So she feels it falls to her to be the one to offer Dom encouragement.
"If Sam thought you didn't belong here, you wouldn't be here," she tells him bluntly. "Technically, Callen is the team leader, but Sam is his partner, so if Sam said you needed to go, you would go. They're hiding from you that the last three probationary agents washed out." She gives him a moment to let that sink in. "But I think that's information you can handle. Because none of them lasted more than three weeks. And you've been here for more than four months."
Dom sits back in his chair at her news.
"You're doing a good job," she repeats. "And if anyone thought you weren't you wouldn't be here. But people aren't going to stop pushing you, so stop thinking that means something bad."
He still looks too overwhelmed to respond, so Kensi goes back to doing her work. After a minute, Dom releases a breath and offers a quiet, "Thank you."
She shrugs and smiles at him. "And don't wash out. Because I've been waiting for a partner for a long time."
He smiles at that. They're not really partners yet, but this is the first time either has voiced that they will be and that's kind of nice. "I'll do my best."
"I know you will."
He nods. "Where are Callen and Sam this morning?"
Kensi picks up her phone and waves it. "Callen texted to say he and Sam were doing something important. Your guess is as good as mine. With those two, I've learned not to ask."
Dom hesitates for a moment before asking, "Do you think we'll be like them one day?"
Before she can answer, Callen and Sam shuffle by, muttering at each other as they balance an incredibly large palm tree on a dolly.
Kensi can only blink at the unexpected sight. She glances back to Dom who appears as surprised as she feels. "Honestly, I can only hope not," she says lightly in response to his question.
He smiles and then they laugh together.
Eventually they do get up and watch as Callen and Sam try to convince Hetty that the palm tree can serve as the office Christmas tree.
Unfortunately, Kensi's good mood doesn't last long. A former marine EOD (explosive ordinance disposal) team is being targeted with small bombs. One member is killed. One member avoids death by finding the bomb out of sheer luck. One member is caught in a car bomb, but survives with minor injuries.
Another member is narrowed down to be a suspect due to his religious background and injuries sustained in Fallujah.
Kensi goes with Callen to speak with Tariq's girlfriend, who tells them he was badly disfigured while serving in Fallujah. Of course, the information she has came from the corps, as Tariq wouldn't allow her to see him and hasn't responded to any of her contact attempts. Kensi's heart breaks a little when she tells them that Tariq still sends money to her and her daughter each month.
Once it's determined that Tariq is staying with his marine buddy King and working in his automotive shop, Kensi is sent in to get Tariq to show himself.
She makes an entrance. She drives into King's shop on a motorcycle. She falls seamlessly into the undercover work she's better at than she'd some days like to be. The best undercover is part truth and part lie. She plays the marine angle. She tells him her father was in the corps. She tells him she grew up moving from base to base. She tells him she was engaged to a marine who died in Fallujah.
She backs off at the right moment and then she pushes at the right moment. She tells him she knows marines stick together. She uses just the right push and just the right words. And it works. King calls Tariq down. Callen and Sam arrive and arrest him with little fanfare, just like they planned.
What she doesn't plan on is King calling her a professional liar. The biting remark eats at her the entire drive back to OPs.
When she gets back, she collapses at her desk with her head in her hands.
"You okay?" Dom asks.
She sighs and lifts her head. "You were listening?"
He nods.
She shrugs. "He was right, you know? We are professional liars. We literally get paid to lie to people."
Dom nodded thoughtfully. "But we get to save people."
"So, we're professional liars with a good cause." She huffs a laugh.
Dom smiles. "Sorry, I don't know what to say to make you feel better."
"It's not your job to make me feel better, Dom. But I appreciate the attempt."
He looks for a moment like he wants to say more, but he doesn't. She doesn't have the energy to ask.
When they realize they have the wrong guy, Kensi rushes back to King's garage to save him from the real bomber. King, still angry from her earlier deception, accuses her of being a liar again, but quickly changes his tune when she helps save his life. When the situation is under control, she's pretty sure he doesn't exactly like her, but they have an understanding.
Once back at OPs again, they discover Hetty has decorated Callen and Sam's palm tree, along with the entire office. It's very festive and the straggling agents and support staff stick around to celebrate with a drink.
"Any plans for the holidays, Kensi?" Sam asks as they stand together by their desks, each holding glasses of eggnog that Hetty apparently made from scratch.
"Oh, you know," she stammers slightly, the unexpected question having thrown her off. Its barely the middle of December. "I'm going to visit family in Seattle." It's her standard cover story. And it's ridiculous because she doesn't have family in Seattle and the team knows that. But no one will ever call her on it. Every year they ask, she lies and they know she lies. Ridiculous. Only they think she's hiding the fact that she spends the holidays alone, whereas she's actually hiding the fact that she spends the holidays with her husband and quite often now her mother. So, really the fake cover story that no one believes is her cover story.
She shakes off the ridiculousness and offers Sam a smile. "How about you? Any plans?"
His face smoothes into an easy smile and he shrugs. "I'll just spend some time at home, take it easy, really enjoy the time off."
She nods, absorbing his non-answer. Last year, she wouldn't have read anything into it, but now she's questioning everything her co-workers say to her. And she's wondering if everything Sam says is filtered. Because maybe he's lying without really lying. And maybe he's hiding a whole other life just like she is. Or maybe she's crazy. "I hear you."
Callen joins them with a glass of eggnog. "I honestly don't know where Hetty keeps the ingredients for eggnog."
"Remember the time she made pina coladas from scratch?" Sam asks. "I mean, who just has a couple pineapples lying around at work?"
Kensi laughs. "I bet there's a secret room here we don't know about."
"I bet there are several secret rooms here we don't know about," Callen adds as Nate and Dom join them. "Vaults. Tunnels. Secret passage ways. You name it."
"Has she always been so...secretive?" Dom asks.
They all nod.
"I think she's actually getting tamer," Nate says. He lifts his glass to take a sip of eggnog and then pauses and glances around. "Oh, God, you don't think she heard me?"
Kensi laughs at both Nate's expression and the fact that no one is brave enough to acknowledge his statement.
"Wow," Dom says, breaking the awkward silence as he continues off of his original question. "I mean...don't get me wrong. She's great. It's just...intimidating."
Callen shrugs. "That's Hetty." He pauses and exchanges a glance with Kensi after she sends him a pointed look. "Eric said you were really helpful today," he tells the very junior agent. "I'm sorry we couldn't have you out in the field, but with the possibility of unstable bombs our focus needed to be on that and not on you."
Dom nodded. "I understand."
Kensi frowned at Callen's less than auspicious pep talk.
Callen catches her expression and presses his lips before turning back to Dom. "The last thing we need is for you to get hurt," he adds, which is only slightly better in Kensi's book, but it's a start. "But the point is, you were still helpful to the team."
Sam is staring at his partner through slightly narrowed eyes and Dom is starting to look uncomfortable so when Callen runs out of words for the second time, Kensi doesn't make any move to get him talking again. She'll let it go for a while before she presses the team leader for another pep talk. And then maybe give him some talking points.
Callen clears his throat. "And we were awesome today." He nods at Sam.
Sam shrugs. "We're always awesome."
"What about the Lawson case?" Kensi quips.
Nate laughs.
"What was the Lawson case?" Dom asks.
"A case we are never speaking of again," Sam cuts off before Kensi can even open her mouth.
Nate opens his mouth, but is stopped by a glare from Sam.
Callen laughs.
Nate clears his throat and turns to Kensi. "You good? You seemed off earlier."
"Nothing like being called a professional liar."
"The guy was mad," Sam rationalizes. "Don't let it get to you."
She wishes it were so easy. "The guy was also right." She waves her hand. "It's okay. I get it. Greater good and all. I just hate lying to the good guys."
They all seem to consider her for a moment. Callen's the one who finally speaks up. "So, what you told King was a lie?"
Callen and Sam exchange a quick glance. She surmises they had clearly been talking about her and her past. The look on Dom's face tells her this is what he hadn't asked her earlier, too. Nate is watching her closely, but his expression is cautious. He's afraid to upset her, but he's also concerned and genuinely curious. For a moment, she's tempted to be vague and leave them guessing. But the last thing she needs is them wondering about her personal life, especially Nate.
"Part of it was true. And part of it was a complete lie. And part of it was a combination of both." She pauses. "You know my dad was a marine." She'd told them that when they'd asked who taught her to shoot. "I grew up as a navy brat. Spent my entire childhood moving from base to base."
"Were you engaged?" Sam asks.
She knows she needs to tread carefully. If she lies flat out right now, they'll know. She raises an eyebrow. "To a marine who was killed in Fallujah?" She shakes her head. "No, I made that up to connect with King. No broken engagements in my past. I did know a marine who was stationed in Fallujah. He was a friend."
"Was he killed?"
She shakes her head. "No. He came home." They don't ask for more so she doesn't offer.
00
When she gets home, it's late evening. She finds her husband flat out on the couch. Monty is flat out on the floor beside the couch. The television is on, but the volume is down low, so she knows it's only part of the show he's putting on because he's trying to stay up to wait for her.
She toes off her shoes, drops her bag to the floor and pads across the room to join her semi-conscious husband on the couch.
"We'd have more room in the bed," he mumbles as she presses herself between his warm body and the back of the couch.
"Don't care."
He rubs her back. "Bad day?"
She sighs. "Not a good day." She presses her nose into the crook of his neck. "Promise me you'll never leave because you think it's better for me."
"What?"
"Just...can you promise?"
"I promise." He doesn't ask for anything more.
She lays with him for several minutes before speaking again. "We had this suspect today. Former marine who was disfigured in an explosion. Burns on his face. He was innocent. But when we were looking for him, we went to see his girlfriend, who hadn't seen him since he deployed because he wouldn't let her see him after the explosion. He still sends money for her and her daughter, but he won't see her and won't respond to her contact attempts. And she loves him so much."
Deeks sighs and tightens his arms around her. He says nothing, quiet in his support, knowing she needs to get her words out first.
"And I just..." She sighs. "His buddy called me a professional liar, which is true. And my day started out pretty good and just went downhill and I just... I love you. Okay? I need to know that you know that I love you. And that won't change, okay? If you were hurt or...or...disfigured or disabled or...whatever. I'd be there with you. We'd figure it out."
"I know that, Kens," he assures.
"And you'll never leave because you think it's better for me?"
"Hey, I promised, didn't I?"
She smiles into his chest. "You did."
"Now, are you ready to stop being crazy?"
She laughs against him. "Maybe."
He presses a kiss to her temple. "Do you want me to match your crazy and make you promise?"
"Don't be an ass," she tries to chastise, but she's laughing at him.
"You have to promise, Kensalina."
"I hate that name."
"You love that name."
"I hate it."
"Promise me, Kensalina."
She lifts her head, unable to hide her smile. But she's finally managed to stop laughing, so she'll take the win. "Fine, I promise." She kisses him and then lays back down against him.
He presses a kiss to her head. "Want to go to bed?"
"Soon. Right now I just want to lay here for a while." Everything may not be okay, but she's home and he's here with her and he's managed to vastly improve her mood in only a few minutes. She can always count on him to be there for her, whatever she needs. And even though she may have overreacted a little bit, she knows he relies on her, too. She knows he wouldn't run from her. It was a long road to get to where they are now, but it was worth it. They're in this together.
00
~March 2001~
"I really think we should go to the hospital," Deeks said. He was crouched on the floor beside the couch, staring intently at her ankle.
Kensi shifted uncomfortably as she half sat and half lay propped up against the arm rest with her injured ankle out in front of her. "No, I'm fine."
Deeks winced. "But it looks..." He trailed off and waved his fingers over the swollen joint. "Bad."
"Don't touch it."
"I'm not going to touch it."
"Then get your fingers away from it."
"My fingers are helping me figure out how bad it is." He retorted, rolling his eyes in a way that told her he knew he was being irrational. However, he conceded to her request and pulled his hands away from the space around her ankle. One hand he used to run through his hair, clearly stressed by the situation.
She rolled her eyes. "I thought you were pre-law, not pre-med?"
"Oooh, do you think it's too late to switch? Dr. Deeks has a nice ring to, doesn't it? Nice alliteration."
Despite her pain and mood, she couldn't help the laugh he drew from her lips.
Deeks smiled, clearly proud of himself for making her laugh. "Now, back to the task at hand. It's clearly swollen. And I think it's starting to bruise. What if it's broken?"
"Then it'll still be broken tomorrow. But right now I just need to..." She trailed off when she tried unsuccessfully to push herself up using the injured foot for leverage and fell back against the arm of the couch.
"Whoa, hey," he pressed a gently hand to her shoulder. "Fine, I won't make you go to the hospital. But just...don't try to move, okay?" He didn't wait for an answer before leaving her for a moment to take the very few steps to the kitchenette of his very tiny studio apartment and retrieving an icepack from his freezer. He wrapped the dishcloth around it and waved it for permission before laying it onto her injured ankle.
She hissed at the cold and then sighed as the low temperature and pressure actually started to make her feel a little better. "Thanks."
He smiled. "I may have some Advil, too?"
She shook her head. "I'm fine."
His brow creased and he hesitated before pushing. "You're not fine, Kensi. You're hurt." He ran a hand through his hair. "And I just...I want to help. I feel like this is my fault. It was my idea."
They'd gone running in the park. His idea. But they'd been racing. Her idea. Then there was the loose dog to suddenly dodge. And the ill placed soccer ball. And the hill. Kensi was lucky it was only her ankle.
Deeks had helped her limp to his apartment because it was much closer and more private than her shared dorm room.
"The race was my idea."
"Fine. Equal liability."
"Now you're sounding like a lawyer again."
He offered a weak smile. "But you're still hurt and I still want to help."
She swallowed hard. Her instincts told her to go home and lick her wounds in private. It's what she'd done since that fateful December day when she was fifteen and she'd lost her father. She wasn't used to anyone wanting to help. And she'd been in worse situations than this. But here she was on the cusp of something significant with this guy who'd wormed his way into her life and he wasn't backing down.
"I'm not used to this," she finally admitted.
He cocked his head. "What? Having someone around who wants to help when you're hurt? Relying on someone else?"
It unnerved her more than a little that he read her so quickly, but he kept talking before she could form her next words.
"I'm right there with you, Kensi." He swallowed hard. "I'm not used to it either. I've never had it. Not for a really long time."
She met his eyes and saw the same fear she felt. But also the same hope. They hadn't talked in depth about their pasts yet. He knew her mother had left and her father had died. But he didn't know about her life after. She knew he'd spent time in foster care. And she knew something momentous had shaped his childhood.
"But I want to be that person for you," he pressed on. "You can trust me. I want to be there for you. And I hope..." He trailed off and then a moment later lost his nerve and his eyes flickered away from hers.
Kensi was surprised to feel dampness in her eyes. She cleared her throat and reached for his hand. She used it to tug him down to his knees so they were on the same level. "You don't have to hope, Marty. Because I want to be that person for you, too."
"Yeah?"
She laughed through her tears. "Yeah. I'll be here for you. You be here for me."
"Does that mean I get to take you to the hospital?"
She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "Not a chance. But I will let you get me an Advil."
He made a show of sighing, but he was smiling and his eyes were shining bright. "It's a start."
