Shout out to chidarkcy! For all your useful and helpful PM's! All you Guest's out there! I know where you live :) krazykay23 for your lovely long analysis of every chapter, Broganmadfatdiary (I LOVE your story), bri (your second review made me laugh, 'I just can't get over this'), Lily1986, DarkPrincessFangirl, Ann, assiage, laurajayhardy (name twins!), KimVJones, LoveLinds, DanaGabrielleEspinosa, wingstobefree, christallh24, Indrea, Vicky, Cheyyeennnnee, tinychemicals, Lindsay, staticGrace, Hannah, Jamie, Bubblewrapping, StuckFish, lookingforsure, Emma, Toni Michelle, eliza, DissertationCanWait (I've told you once, and I'll tell you again, your Fic Prompts are AMAZING!) , lpgirl41, nitecrawler26, MaryBongiovi (I ship Damon/Bonnie too, ngl), Fan, Anon, JohannasaysHi, Vcarp1993, Sheila, amongtheprettythings, soaringXspirit, Amy, and Kelsey.
PHEW! Take a breather. All you reviewers and basically ANYBODY ELSE who has taken time out of their day to read my story. I am eternally grateful!
OK. So enough of that- On with the show! (story)
(What's the Story) Morning Glory?
Chapter Eight:
"Death, Please."
Do you ever wish you could un-see something?
Do you ever wish you could crawl into a whole, fall asleep and never wake up again?
Yes, it's been one of those days.
It's been one of those weeks.
It had been the last week of the summer holidays, the last possible chance I had had of having any last minute requests of freedom- and here I had been sulking, for five long days. Again.
It was embarrassing actually.
This fictional 'Blur gig' was supposed to be tomorrow- and for once in my life, Damon Albarn wasn't at the forefront of my mind. My brain kept showing action replays, Chloe walking down the stairs in slow motion- all beautiful and fresh, Finn not being able to resist any longer and throwing his pants off then and there.
Yes, okay I didn't actually see the first part happen- but I most definitely did not imagine a half-naked Chloe. How could I forget?
"Oh, Rae." Kester sighed, "C'mon- what's happened this time?"
It had been a good month since I last saw Kester- and in truth, I think he's the only person I'd ever turn to. But I'd never tell him that.
I didn't speak for a moment.
"Is it something to do with this Finn character?"
I turned my head away from him, which was enough of an answer for Kester.
"What exactly has he done?" Kester leaned back, and rested his arm on his leg.
"Chloe. Literally." I folded my arms, still looking out the window as the words left my mouth.
"Bollocks." I heard him mutter under his breath. "And you didn't want that to happen?" he asked.
I snapped my head back toward him.
"Of course I didn't want it to happen!"
"No, no- I know that, but was it something that you would have rather happen with you?"
I nodded reluctantly.
"I want to rip my own heart of out my chest and lob it over the Great Wall of China, never to see it again." I said.
"That doesn't sound very healthy, Rae. Maybe you should see a physiatrist." He smirked faintly.
"In no way is this the time for jokes! I want to die and I don't know what to do about it!"
Kester leaned forward at this. "Rae, you have worked tremendously hard to get this far. You're getting better-everything you've worked for, you just want to through it away?"
"I don't know what to do!"
"What do you want?"
"I want Finn to love me!" I screeched, scaring myself. "Why can't we just be together?" I said, almost in a whisper.
"Ah," Kester said, leaning back once more. "And how have you been getting on with him?"
I thought back to the past six weeks, and cringed more than once.
"Not very well."
"And why is that?"
"Because I've been treating him like shit. I've been lying to him about Archie- and about my feelings."
Kester just smiled.
"What?"
"You've just answered your own question Rae."
'Why can't we just be together?' echoed in my mind, and I pressed my hands against my face.
"Oh, god- how do I fix this?"
"Well, what would Rae do?"
"I don't know Kester. Help me! Isn't that what you're supposed to do? Because right now, it just seems like you're out to have a good laugh- like everyone else."
"Rae- you know I'm here to help you, but I'm not here to tell you how to live your life. If you keep taking advice from others on how to do things in your life- you're never going to be able to live it the way you want to." He clasped his hands together. "Now. What would Rae do?"
After walking out of the hospital, I had decided to take a slight detour on my way home. Kester had been right. It turns out the only person standing in the way of me, was me.
I stood outside the pub. Contemplating going in- running different scenarios in my head. I walked away from the entrance, and decided to enter from round the back- sitting on a picnic bench in the beer garden.
If I went in there- there was only one thing I could do. If I left now, there was only one thing I can do.
But the time for thinking was over.
There standing, fully clothed this time- was Chloe.
"Hi." I said, automatically.
"Hello," she replied as she walked over the bench, and sat down next to me. "You've been gone again."
"I honestly thought anyone would have noticed- it's only been five days, I could have been on holiday or something!" I tried to appear as cheery as I could.
"I noticed." She turned to me and gave me a half smile.
My stomach suddenly sank, I felt horrid.
"Have you been ill again, Rae?" she asked.
"No- I've been- 'pondering', that's all."
"You like Finn." She stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I sat there, opened mouthed and wide eyed.
"Wha- I, " I spluttered.
"Oh, Rae- give me some credit. I may play dumb when that fit bloke from the gym talks to me- but that doesn't actually mean I am."
"Do you love Finn, Chloe?" I asked. The question itself burnt holes in my brain.
She paused for a moment to look up to the sky, a warm summer breeze blowing her hair. "Yes." She said after a while. "Yes, I do."
I don't know what made me say it, but I did.
"Then be with him. Finn's a crush- that's all." I patted her knee, "Hell, I even think Izzy fancies him a bit."
She smiled back at me. "Rae are you-"
"I'm positive. We're good friends, that's all."
And suddenly, it was like acceptance overwhelmed me. I had accepted that Finn and I were only ever going to be friends. And that I was fine with it. It was time to stop being selfish and starting to act like a grownup. Because this was the real world.
"Are you coming in, then?" she beamed, "Or are you just gonna sit out here 'pondering'."
I laughed with her, and followed Chloe into the pub.
"Look who's back again everyone!" Chloe cheered.
"Oh god, Rae." Archie clutched hold of me.
"Ah, Arch- can't breathe." I chuckled, airless.
I hadn't been around for days, and I think everyone silently knew why. Even Chop.
"What's going on Rae?" He whispered, trying to hold my hand in an attempt to keep up the façade of boyfriend and girlfriend.
"The truth is going on." I whispered, and leaned back to clutch Archie by the shoulders and stare straight into his eyes.
"Archie," I announced, "You're dumped." I said, smile plastered on my face.
It wasn't long before Archie followed suit, and we hugged each other- laughing.
The rest of the gang looked at us as if we were mad.
"What the fook?" Chop muttered to Finn.
"Right!" I said, once we had pulled away from each other, "After that tortuous parting of the ways, who's going to buy me a drink?"
Finn stood up immediately.
"Why thank you Finny- boy." I replied, and began to walk to the bar. I could see Chloe smile good naturedly from the corner of my eye.
When we got to the bar- Finn pulled out his wallet, "Err, what you 'avin?"
"Snake bite, please! I'm going to get slaughtered if it kills me." I chortled.
"Rae- I just wanna talk to you about the other-"
But I stopped him with my hand.
"It's enough, Finn." I glanced at a laughing Chloe, to which he followed my gaze. "It's enough, now."
I grabbed his drink, and walked back towards the table. "C'mon!" I said, as he stood there staring confusedly.
Because you can't always get what you want.
For those of you who are re-reading this, I took off the 'The End' coz that was just too horrid of a trick! :3
I know most of you will HATE this chapter, but I have to actually say- it's been one of my favourites. Really wanted to show Rae as a wholehearted person.
'Fake Blur Gig' next!
Much love,
-Laura
