I'm seriously in shock...FIFTY-FOUR reviews for my last update.

Thank you all so much, especially the readers who take the time and effort to write wonderfully long reviews (and I swear it's not a bad thing: I seriously love hearing your detailed input on the chapter). I mean it from the bottom of my heart!

NOTE *important, please read*: I've been getting many (seriously...many) request to have the YGO canon cast react to Little Kuriboh's other abridged content. I've even gotten a couple of requests to make them react to the Yugioh BBT abridged movie! Even though the requests can seem daunting, I am wholeheartedly liking the idea, as I believe it could be very fun. The only problem is that I am not sure how to include these reactions appropriately with the chapters, chronologically speaking. Here's an example: Let's say I want to make a reaction *Special* chapter right after the 10th update about the parody Leather Pants. Problem is, Marik is still not in the white room and it won't be as much fun to write it up without his take on it. And LK seriously LOVES to incorporate Marik in in his other stuff. This can be easily solved if I start out with the Season 0 episodes, (tell me if you want the specials to start with SEASON 0 :D!) but there are only three of them. After that, there is a sort of limbo in between Duelist Kingdom and Battle city that you'd probably not get any reaction specials at all. (Unless I am forgetting some, and if that's the case please let me know which ones could be used that DON'T have Marik in them.) So the gist of this too-long rambling note is this:

*What do you guys want me to do?* Do you care if I make the specials without Marik in the room (aka, no chronological order to the videos)? Or would you be okay with having a sort of dead zone between DK and BC? LET ME KNOW! I need your input!

Abridged is Bold. Balance your breakfast with a healthy serving of abridged bold and canon weak font.


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In his entire existence, he's never found anything as comforting as the Darkness.

The pulsing blackness, the dark rage and destructive hate constantly enveloping him, his mind, eyes, lips...his everything. He thrived in it, in the chaos it caused. Lived by it. Really, his essence is the darkness. All of his power is sourced directly from it. It's the main reason he was not particularly worried or afraid in being sent to the Shadows by that psychotic beast Mariku. It's hard to feel punished when you embrace the evil as tightly as the evil embraces you. Which is why he has never been so panicked to see it suddenly vanish into thin smoky carbon trails, and have his corneas burn out of his skull by this blinding abhorrent white light invading everything.

The white inundates his senses, almost to the point where he can taste it. No, it chased away his long-time companion. Maybe forever-

AH! GOD, What the fu-?!

An excruciating high-pitched shrill bombards his mind. Two hands instinctively press desperately against his ears, since it feels as if they would spontaneously bleed out at any given moment. He shuts his eyes tight, fingers digging in the sides of his head, whole body physically cringing in revulsion from the disgusting noise. What is going? Was Ryou's body being attacked while unconscious?

It's like the shrilling just grows louder and higher and holy shit, my head might literally explode-

"NO!"

A scream resonated in the air and it sounds muffled and drowned out by the high-pitched noise, but it's so familiar. He's sure he has heard it before many times.

Finally, there is salvation. The abomination attacking his eardrums suddenly stops before he can contemplate who was the one that screamed with such a raw dread. His hands drop from his ears, tentatively testing out the silence to see if it's after, the blinding light tones down. An exhale of complete relief escapes his lips and he opens crimson-brown eyes slowly, cautiously, and finds his vision is severely compromised by large green blotches. It's a clear after-affect of the light which shone like the damn sun right in front of his face. He blinks over and over again, hoping to regain his sight back soon, as all he can make out are blurry dark figures that looked far away. Not only that, but he feels a terrible headache stemming from that same infernal noise.

"Agh, what the hell?" He mutters, holding his head in pain.

It's as if these words trigger his vision recovery, and he can suddenly see crystal clear. What? His eyes narrow in downright confusion. Landlord's group of mortal friends...staring at him in horror as if they were witnessing his true form. How in the hell are they here? Is it possible this is THEIR doing?! So far, nothing has been even remotely resolved in the area of who, what, when, where, why or HOW. He's about to open his mouth to demand some type of answer, but stops abruptly when he catches a glimpse of something familiar.

Is that...white hair?

That boy who was giving him his back swivels in place and the spirit is speechless. Impossible. It simply cannot be, yet his eyes say something else completely. Wide chocolate doe-sized eyes, a beautiful pale face wearing one of the most devastated expressions he's ever come to see, looking directly at him with so much sadness, repulsion, anger, HURT.

His host.

Not screaming bloody murder while locked away in the back of his own mind, banging his soul room's reinforced door until he was too exhausted to do so. Not a transparent being trying to take hold of his body countless of times, and failing miserably each time as the other laughs at his pathetic attempts. No, he is here.

In the flesh, right in front of him.

And he looks like he can't believe it as well, because once they make undeviating eye-contact, Ryou falls to his knees, face downcast and shoulders trembling. The spirit follows his host's path to the ground, eyes trained onto the boy. So much disappointment, so much depression and sorrow in those large brown orbs. Obviously, his situation couldn't be attributed to any of these insects, since they were absolutely terrified the minute he appeared in this unpleasant void- as they rightly should. A horrid poisonous emotion he's indirectly familiar with starts filling his lungs, up to the brim and he feels like he might drown in it. And from the slightly more rapid heartbeat, he concludes the useless emotion is pathetic anxiety. A feeling his host felt so much, it's a wonder he didn't immediately recognize it.

Why do I have a heart? A separate body?

Am I hallucinating? Have the shadows rejected me?!

Who did this to me? Why would anybody want to do this to me?! Where in the NINE CIRCLES OF HELL AM I?!

This is impossible. This cannot be happening. I HAVE MY OWN BODY.

He looks down at his hands, staring at them in a mixture of tentativeness and bewilderment. Taking over Ryou's body did enable him to have all senses, but since it never was his own, the sensations were dulled and filmy as if his nerve endings were blanketed by a chilling numbness. But this...He could feel everything. He could hear his own blood pumping away, rushing through his veins and feel his body pulsing by his unusually loud heart. He tightens his hands to fists and slowly loosens them, marveling at the touch of his fingernails slightly digging in his palms. He runs his fingertips down the length of his arm, noticing how undeniably soft his skin is.

It's HIS body, yet at the same time, it's not. He knows this because he can see white locks of hair from his peripheral vision, and from his built, he knows it's exactly the same as his landlord's. A mere copy of Ryou. He's not sure how to feel about that last realization.

"Bakura."

A deep strong voice rings in his ears. He knows that prominent voice, and looks up from inspecting his body to whoever spoke. He is immediately jaw-laxed at the most obviously shocking character of them all. Sharp violet eyes, the same wild tri-color hair as his younger-looking short soul partner, but with an air of power and regalia that seemed effortless. Why, it is no other than the Pharaoh...in his own body.

His arms drop in surprise, eyes wide and pupils shrunken. H-How? Why is he-?! The stunned yami looks at the rest of the group, scanning their eyes to find a mere semblance of some type of answer. Finding none, the black poison fills his lungs again.

"What kind of devilry is this?" He whispers, deplorable fear palpable in his tongue. Even him, being one of the most powerful demons in the history of time, couldn't separate himself from his host. to form his own mortal meat-suit. Hell, he couldn't separate himself as a free-floating spirit either! He used to say he was THE most powerful demon of them all but it seemed that had to be a lie. Then, it is a demon much more powerful. Than any of the others...

...than me. The fear increments at this thought. No. Not even fathomable. I am the most powerful being of the entire universe! Yes, he had to keep boasting so he could actually start believing in it.

"Someone. Explain to me what the hell is going on here. RIGHT NOW." He grits out dangerously, using explosive anger to cover his true emotions. Everyone flinches at his harsh tone, fearing he might actually try to force them in talking with some form of torture. The spirit sure looked angry enough for it. He's not stupid however, and knows outright threatening anybody bodily harm will backfire on him, especially now that he has his own body (which can bleed and hurt). So he waits patiently for anybody to answer, although he looks only at Ryou.

The boy is already back on his feet and for some strange reason, is glaring darkly at older Yugi look-alike. Huh. An eyebrow rises up slightly. How interesting.

"There is no rational explanation for why we've been put here in this place, nor is there a reason you and I have our own bodies. Like you, we merely appeared in this room from this bright white light and awful high-pitched noise. Nevertheless, we are here, with only a flimsy vague note sent from the being who is controlling this limbo." Yami says severely, and the dark spirit scoffs at this, crossing his arms in doubt. "A note?"

"That's exactly right. The note is always placed at the bottom right edge of the coffee table. Take it if you wish to read it." Yami Bakura sucked his teeth in response, and began making his way to this same coffee table, looking over the strange living-room sort of arrangement. His eyes narrow in suspicion at the sight, looking at the large television while slowly unfolding the paper.

"Is there any reason as to why there is a couch and a TV in this ungodly place? Did the demon really think we'd be buddies and play PS4 while we await for utter destruction?" He snaps sarcastically as he smooths over the folds of the note.

"Um, demon?" Yugi asks confused, but the villain doesn't pay him mind. He begins reading, all the while everyone waited for his reaction with baited breath. From his expression, it's absolutely impossible to tell what he's feeling since he has a highly-effective poker face. As his eyes scan the last sentence, he notices the signature. "LK." He read aloud, pausing for a couple of seconds to let his words sink for dramatic effect (it's positively hilarious to see how much these teenagers really fear him) and rises the now crumpled-up note up with a fisted hand.

"What is this rubbish?" He says sharply, eyes flashing an insidious red. They all look at each other uneasily. Did he not believe in what the note said?

"An alternative universe in the form of episodes? Is this some type of a ridiculous joke ?"

"We've been here much longer than you have. So no, we can confirm this is definitely not a joke." Seto says acidly, and gestures at the television. "This is where the television comes into play. We've been watching episodes of our alternate selves for a while now. Episode 8 will probably start any second now." The yami clicked his tongue in response, not liking the young billionaire's attitude.

"And what is this foolish crap of not being able to use magic or cause any harm?" Yami looks at the spirit sharply, knowing he has full intentions of testing this theory out. They might as well get over the inevitable and put LK to the test. "Why don't you try it and see if it really is 'foolish' crap?" He says in a monotone slightly sarcastic tone, hoping to the Gods the letter did not lie and Little Kuriboh wouldn't let this psychopath hurt them. A large Cheshire grin splits his lips open and he lets out a deep evil cackle, cracking his neck twice as if getting ready for a fist fight.

"Well I am more than happy to comply to your orders, my Pharaoh." He giddily says. Immediately, the entire group stiffens up in obvious fear and Yugi hisses at his older counterpart. "REALLY? You had to bait him?!"

Yami winces in response, regretting his imprudent choice of words. Yami Bakura attempts to take hold of his millennium ring, still with a too-big smirk on his face but it soon vanishes from his lips when he realizes the necklace isn't hanging around his neck. He looks down at his striped white and blue shirt, patting down his chest frantically. "Where is it? WHERE'S MY RING?"

"Obviously, somewhere far away from here so you won't be able to hurt us!" Joey shouts at him.

"My puzzle is also gone, as your ring. This means our millennium items have been removed from this limbo to ensure the 'no magic' rule stays unbroken." Yami states with a finality, pleased with the turn of events and how frustrated the spirit looked. He turns slightly to catch Yugi's gaze, who still had his hand clutched to his heart, and nodded at him as if saying 'See? There is absolutely nothing to worry about.' To his surprise, his aibo doesn't look any more relaxed or comforted. In fact, now taking a good look at him, he seems more frightened than before. Actually, everybody looks paralyzed in the same expression.

He's about to ask what's wrong, but is then interrupted by the feeling that there is someone standing...right in front of him. A breath of warm air suddenly hits his exposed neck and he immediately turns around in shock to see the evil spirit two inches away from his face. It is too late to move out of the way, or even step back. "Well then, magic won't work but I still haven't tried out a good-old fashioned punch!" The yami grabs him by the collar of his blue leather jacket, laughing darkly.

"HEY!" Joey immediately starts to head towards the two, fully willing to jump in the fight. "Don't you even think about it, ya bastard!" The other annoying parasites also won't keep screeching but he doesn't care about any of them and curls up his hand into a tight fist. Yami on the other hand, is putting his trust on the promise LK made, so all he does is wait with eyes tightly shut. One or two things would happen anyway: either he'd get punched or he wouldn't.

A sudden bright white light erupted from the two ancient spirits and Yami Bakura goes back flying a good ten feet from the impact of a powerful force. Thankfully, he lands on his feet uninjured, but he is now more angry than ever.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!" He roared at the ceiling (was there even a ceiling?), hands fisted up in fury. The Pharaoh sighs in relief, silently thanking LK for keeping his word. Everybody also sighs a collective exhale in reassurance, now knowing there is no possible chance the spirit of the ring can injure or harm any of them. The yami points an angry finger at them, breath coming out of his nostrils like a fire-breathing dragon.

"I want to know who this LK deity is." He seethes. "You will tell me immediately!" Though there is no true danger, he is still very intimidating and can strike fear in anyone's hearts if he so proposes to do, and again the group of teens feel their lips clamp shut. "DID ALL YOU GO DEAF? I SAID IMMEDIATELY, YOU SLOW MOTHERFU-!"

"OKAY, OKAY! Just calm down!" Yugi tried to placate the furious spirit with two extended palms, signaling none of them meant any harm. "We've only recently figured out LK is short for 'Little Kuriboh' and he is the one who made the abridged universe and made it into a show. He is responsible for this situation."

"There hasn't been any confirmation LK is a he. Talk about stereotyping." Mai mutters under her breath.

"So then he is some sort of demon god then!"

"Is there any particular reason why you believe Little Kuriboh is a demon?" Seto deadpanned.

"I guess it takes one to know one." A large unsettling grin formed on the white-haired spirit's lips again. "And of course, the fact that LK could grant me and the Pharaoh totally independent bodies means he is one of great unmeasured power. One so omnipotent is either a demon or god. Or both."

The serious-looking CEO tenses at his words, unsure if he should try to explain his various theories on the alternate universe issue and how there is many versions of their own universe as well. Would it even be wise to do so? After all, Bakura is the villain. But then again, not knowing what they knew might make him more insufferable than he already is with his demands and questions. I highly doubt his mouth will be taped shut for the rest of the episodes, and he sure can talk plenty of obscenities until I want to rip my ears off.

"We have already come up with a more-or-less logical theory on who he is and why we are here." God, I hope I don't regret this.

"LK is from another universe that is much powerful than all of the other universes. Our 'lesser' universes are seen as TV shows to his main universe, and can also be portrayed as such in other same-tier universe. This means we, as in the people right here, are actually part of a television show called Yu-Gi-Oh!. It's apparently a raging success in LK's universe since it's been brought to light that we are not the ORIGINAL Yu-Gi-Oh! to begin with. No, we are actually the remake of the Japanese version. It explains why we are set in Domino City, Japan, yet we are speaking English all the time, and with no recollection of even thinking about it. Now, LK is a clear fan of our show. Which means he decided to form his own 'abridged' series, and give life to these ridiculous idiotic characters that are the alternate versions of ourselves. There's been various instances where the same abridged characters poke fun at a company called 4kids! and I am 100% sure this is the creator of our show."

The villainous Ryou look-alike is staring at Seto as if he grew a third eye. "...What?" He says, face scrunched in a clear 'what fucking drugs are you even ON right now!' expression.

"It's best if you watch the episodes. Everything will start to make a bit more sense."

"This is the most ridiculous trash I have ever heard in my life! And I have been alive for EONS." The yami snaps, shaking his head, white locks repeatedly slapping his face lightly. "Look. There is no reason nor advantages for me to lie to you. I'm stuck in this place just as you are. We ALL are." Kaiba finishes tersely, patience already shot.

"And even if you DON'T believe in what Kaiba says right now, that's understandable. With Ryou as the only exception, I don't think any of us did in the beginning. But as more time passed and we watched more episodes, we started to realize how everything made sense." Yugi adds in, and after a pause, he continues. "Whoever LK is, it's obvious we can't do anything to stop him. All we can do is watch the show (in a cordial non-violent way)and hope that at the end of it, we will return to our own universe."

Red eyes scan over the heads, looking for Ryou but it seems like he hid well. "Tch." He glances at the group, arms crossed in displeasure. "While we're stuck here, we might as well wave the white flag in peace. For now. Once we get back, you can go back to your scummy villainous ways." Tea says, the fear in her eyes practically extinguished. He growls at that remark, noticing everyone's initial apprehension of him is quickly disappearing.

Of course, it did. There is no need to fear when his threats are literally empty.

He absolutely hated this place.

"Truce?" Yami holds out a hand to him, expression still guarded. No, he does not want a truce! But does he even have a choice in the manner? LK managed to make him completely powerless.

"Fine." Yami Bakura whips around to approach the 'living room', leaving the Pharaoh hanging with his hand extended. Yami sucks on his teeth in irritation, not sure why he expected any other reaction and one by one, all follow the white-haired spirit's path. Said villain plops down in the middle of long couch, arms out-stretched and extended feet propped up on the coffee table. "Well? Put the next damn episode so we can get this stupid thing over with." He mutters. At the blatant display of disrespect to everyone else's space, Mai goes up to him with fire in her eyes.

"Hey. This isn't your couch. Everyone else has to sit on too, so you mind moving your big feet from the table and sitting like a polite human being?"

At this snappy remark, everyone can't help but gasp. Really, it's not like anything bad could happen to Mai but it's not like the spirit suddenly turned into a fluffy kitten.* A large grin curls up his lips, and he slowly rises his head to look at the fiery-tempered woman in the eye. "Aren't you such a brave, stupid one..." She did not flinch from his comment, and whipped her long blonde hair away from her shoulder.

"I'm not scared of you." She humphed and sat RIGHT next to the yami, arms crossed in defiance."You are sort of de-clawed at the moment." The red in his eyes definitely flashed at that comment. Oh, you will be next one I will have the pleasure of murdering in cold blood.

He rose an eyebrow in a deadly mix of amusement and rage. "As much as your courage makes me laugh, I'd rather have my sweet child back at my side again. Oh Ryou, darling!" He sings out.

"DON'T YOU DARE COME NEAR ME." Was the immediate scathing response from the British boy.

"Oh how you wound me, landlord. After all we've been through?" He put a hand over his heart, pouting. Ryou storms over and sits right at the very edge of the couch as far away from his 'tenant' as he possibly could, not saying another word. After this, things got tense fast. Nobody else wanted to sit at the other side of the spirit, for they all had unsettling suspicion that he might try something malicious that has nothing to do with injury. There is small suggestions of making him move to the end of the couch, but from seeing him so comfortable, they all quickly discard the idea as next to impossible.

After shuffling around for a while, and a couple of shoves from Joey and Tristan, Yami is unanimously voted as the one who will sit next to the Ryou doppelganger. "I do not think this is the best choice, honestly. He did try to punch me-" The regal Egyptian mumbles as he reluctantly sits down, avoiding the other's gaze.

"All of you are a bunch of whiny little shits. I don't bite." He chuckles, gleaming teeth in his wide mouth making a direct contrast with his earlier statement. "Unless you want me to." He grins, elbowing Yami playfully. It definitely served its purpose as he can hear the Pharaoh grit his teeth all the while trying to not look in his general direction. No, there is no magic nor injuries allowed (and by the looks of it, no Duel Monsters in sight), but he could definitely push a lot of buttons. No harm in that.

He chuckles again, and this time Yami does look at him, alarmed, probably thinking he had something up his sleeve.

This actually might be fun.

Finally, the TV goes from dark to light gray and then complete white.

Yami's face appears, panning out like always while the Duel Monsters cards whip around him. "Yu-Gi-Oh! is a production of the Children's Television Workshop."

"The Pharaoh sounds like an idiot."

Yami glares at his couch 'partner' for that comment. "That is the entire point of this show." He grits out. "It all makes us look like complete and total imbeciles. And since you are here, this means you will have an official introduction the the abridged!cast. I'd be praying to the Gods if I were you. Not that it'd make much of a difference..." He mumbles at the end.

Immediately, the dark spirit whips his head around to glare at him. "I'm sorry, Pharaoh. Were you not-so-subtly implying that I was an imbecile?"

"Well, I didn't IMPLY anything, but if the shoe FITS-"

"PLEASE CHILDREN. Stop your bickering." Seto loudly yells, rubbing his throbbing temples.

Youg duelists are walking around the island, the camera panning from left to right until it landed on Yugi's friends. "It sure is a shame that Mokuba got kidnapped again." Joey says while all of them are looking at the stone castle and the sunset sky.

"If we'd been paying the slightest bit of attention, it probably wouldn't have happened."

Seto 'hmphs' at that, wholeheartedly agreeing with what abridged!Joey says for once. "Yes, it probably wouldn't have happened if any of you morons had even the slightest amount of common sense." He seethed.

Joey snorts. "Says the guy who left his brother to do who knows what in God knows where."

Kaiba's eyes narrow into dangerous slits, a low growl coming from his throat, but not saying anything more. He really isn't in the mood for more fights as he knows the Pharaoh and Yami Bakura will do PLENTY of that.

Yugi raises his gloved fist up. "Oh, he gets kidnapped like once a week. I'm sure he's used to it by now."

"As if I would EVER say that." Yugi says, appalled and disgusted at his alter's words. His other friends nod in agreement with his statement, knowing Yugi would be incapable of saying something so flippant and cruel. "Oh, I'm not sure about that..." Yami Bakura hums out.

Ryou gives out an exasperated sigh, frankly tired of hearing the spirit's voice. He had a hunch his evil copy would dedicate his time to keep himself entertained in the only way he know how without sending them to the Shadow Realm: psychologically messing with people.

"This show might actually be portraying our your 'true colors'. You might never say that, little Yugi, but maybe you've thought it and the characters are a direct portrayal of your most deepest and darkest thoughts." He continues on eerily, relishing the small duelist's face of fear and horror at this potential possibility. "No, that's just not me!" Yugi squeaks.

"Ah-ah, don't close your mind, little one. You are more capable for evil thoughts than you can ever imagine-"

"Spirit. Please, shut up." Ryou suddenly says through clenched teeth. "Don't listen to him, Yugi." He addresses his spiky haired friend, dismissing the yami as if he was an annoying bug. It doesn't sit well for the demon, but finds himself not caring enough to respond.

Mokuba's collapsed figure is shown chained to a rock wall, clearly trapped in Pegasus' dungeon. It feels like I'm dying inside! He thinks as a dead gray color fills the boy's eyes.

"If I had Pegasus right in front of me, I think I just might commit murder." Kaiba snarls at the television screen.

"Now THAT'S the spirit!" Yami Bakura declares, smirking.

Back in the outside world, Yugi turns from the castle and looks directly at the camera with a smile on his face. "Come on, lets go play some more card games."

Joey then looks at the ground, which has a bunch of Duel Monster cards scattered around. "Hey look! Some idiot dropped his cards!" He says excitedly as he bent over to pick them up. Tristan doesn't look too happy about this, even though he did rise his leg up so Joey could collect the cards.

"Hands off, those are mine." Tristan says in a totally different voice.

"What? Noooo!" Joey wails. "What happened to Barney Tristan?! He was the most hilarious one there!" He fake sobs, even sniffing up a storm just for show. Tristan on the other hand, crosses his arms with a large smile on his face.

"FINALLY! I got a moderately normal voice!" He sighs happily.

Joey has a look of absolute shock on his face. "Tristan! What the hell happened to your voice?"

Yugi is looking up at Tristan, also with an expression of slight surprise. "It sounds all weird and stuff!" Tristan just looks at the shorter duelist with confusion, clearly having no idea in what they meant. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Seriously, it sounds completely different!" Joey has a somewhat angry disposition as he says this, and Tea just looks at him.

Yugi once again addresses his brunette friend, smiling. "Does it hurt to talk like that?" He says.

"What are they blathering about? What's wrong with the brown-haired insect's voice?"

"Since the beginning, Tristan had this alter with a really funny idiotic voice. Like, it's totally a big difference even compared to our abridged voices and my alter's voice literally sounds like a middle-aged man trying to sound like a girl." Tea explains.

"His voice was a riot! Now it's goneeeee!" Joey keeps on fake sobbing.

Tristan gets unusually angry, and yells out. "You guys! I've always sounded like this, I swear!"

Tea just looks at him, her arms crossed in front of her chest with a knowing smirk. "That voice is all wrong."

"...Well. You weren't exaggerating about your alter's voice at all."

The camera is now shooting at a far away stances, panning up to the orange pink sky as Joey shouts with an angry arm in the air. "What happened to the Tristan I knew and loved? This is unacceptable!"

Kawaaitaaa...Sakegira...

Todo ke, Fly at higher gameee!

"It's the Yu-Gi-Oh! abridged sequence title." Mai explains to dark Bukara, who had turned his head to her direction, expecting her to clear things up for him. "Every time a new episode starts, this song kicks it off."

"It sure feels good to know that my friends are backing me up." Joey says, apparently going to try and find someone to duel with.

Tristan, who is right in back of him, notices the types of duelists he's trying to challenge to and moves closer to his friend. "Man Joey, these guys look like they're way out of your league. Maybe we should go looking for some three-year-olds."

Tristan snorts at his alter's comment while Joey fumes. "And what is that supposed to mean?!"

Tea turns to Tristan's direction, agreeing with him. "He'd be better off facing a Dueling Monkey!" She says giddily.

"Man, abridged!Tea is either a complete bitch or a horny nympho. No in-between." Joey grits.

Joey is seen shouting at the two with a irritated vein on his forehead. "You guys are the worst friends ever!"

Mai then suddenly appears. "Hello, Joseph, happy to see me?"

Yami Bakura snorts at abridged!Mai's voice and starts cackling. "At least Tea's voice tried to sound feminine, it's like yours didn't even try at all, doll-face." He jeers, smirking. Mai fumes at the ancient being, crossing her arms with a huff.

Joey responds in an almost trance-like manner. "Yes, talking cleavage, I'm VERY happy to see you!"

This time, dark Bakura throws his head back and laughs. "Spoken like a true gentleman, Wheeler." He winks and laughs again, finding the situation hilarious.

"I believe he just proved my theory correct. This show accurately portrays what everybody here thinks but is too cowardly to say out-loud." The spirit deduces, this time focusing is attention on Joey, who coincidentally sat right next to Mai herself.

"You. Blonde mutt. Look at me directly in the eyes and honestly tell me you've never thought about this one-" He points with his thumb to the woman right next to him. "-in that way."
Mai immediately stiffens up, and everybody's eye widen slightly at the sudden awkward tension in the air.

"Here we go again." Ryou groans. "Can you STOP antagonizing people and just watch the show in SILENCE?"

"I'm waiting, Joseph!" He ignores his former host's complaining, still not tearing his sight from the young slightly-blushing young man. "If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear." He states nonchalantly.

"You're another level of asshole, ya know that?" Joey hisses lowly. "And I won't take the bait cus contrary to what you and Kaiba think, I'm actually not a goddamn dog. So go to hell."

"Hm, your refusal to just do one simple thing says much more than anything you could say. I guess Mai really IS just a pair of breasts to you-"

"I am literally sitting right between you two, and both of you are acting like I don't even exist." Said woman states flatly, a pulsing vein pounding away in her left temple, resting her elbow on her knee and chin pressing against her open palm.

"THAT IS NOT TRUE!" Joey shouts at the spirit, fury spilling out in his honey eyes. "That can't be any further from the truth-"

"Okay, then. Prove it. Look at me in the eyes and say it!"

Anger won over. "I've never thought of Mai in that way like my abridged alter does!" He states fiercely, staring directly into the reddish-brown eyes of the yami. The spirit gasps in mock shock, and sighs happily. What is this ass thinking?

"Oh, you don't say! Well, that is a complete relief. Here I was thinking there might be something between you two, but since you just denied it then she's up for grabs, right?"

Wait, what...?

"What in the HELL are you DOING?" Mai suddenly screeches, jumping up from the couch when something that felt suspiciously like a hand slide to her thigh. Everyone jumps from the sudden loud noise and all eyes look at the Mai and Yami Bakura. She looks at the dark Ryou look-alike with a gaping jaw. "Did you just...?" Everyone proceeds to almost choke on their own spit at the implication.

"Sweetheart, you best sit down now. You're blocking the screen for your friends." He purrs smoothly and proceeds to grab Mai by the wrist, and slowly but very gently pulling her back to her seat. The older woman is still shell-shocked at the currently unfolding events, which is why it turned out very easy for the villain to ease her into her seat. Joey is absolutely livid.

THIS SON OF A BITCH! I'LL KNOCK YOUR DAMN TEETH OUT!

No doubt he definitely wanted to punch the living daylights out of the ass, but Joey realizes the other just wants to get a reaction from him. Anger, shouting, curse words, the like. So he can't give him any of that, because he'll get exactlyy what he wanted from him. But of course, he also can't let the douchey spirit perv on Mai!

How could he stop him right in his tracks? Suddenly, an A-ha! lights up in his brain, and he knows what do.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Everyone, including Mai, stare at Joey with large saucers for eyes, seeing it but not completely believing they were witnessing this moment.

"Let her go, and I'll get off you."

"DO YOU REALIZE YOU ARE SITTING ON MY LAP, YOU DISGUSTING MORTAL?"

Joey grins, knowing the spirit is completely at odds in what to do in this situation. "This can all be resolved if you LET MAI GO." He looks down at the yami, seeing his narrowed red eyes and clenched teeth, knowing he wants to keep on fighting because he doesn't like to lose something he initiated. But an ever better idea pops in his head.

"If you don't, I'll turn around and face you...STILL on your lap."

Dark Bakura makes a noise of disgust and immediately let Mai's wrist go. "How revolting. There, I let your little girlfriend go. Do you mind getting the fuck off me now?" He makes only small attempts to shove the blonde teen off since knows he will be prevented by that infuriating light. Joey obliges in a heart-beat, happier than a clam that his planned went accordingly so.

"I'm not some damsel in distress in need of rescuing, Joey." Mai mutters, angry at how the two completely ignored her as a person and only treated her as a means to an end. "I can take care of myself."

"Really? Tell me, what could you do to make him stop? It's not like he was technically harming you." Joey deadpans. "You can't hit him, can't slap him. The only thing you can do is try to get away (which is useless if he follows you) or yell and scream. And a lot of good that will do you unless someone else INTERVENES. Don't you see? That douche can put his nasty hands all over you, and you can't do anything to defend yourself!"

Mai stays silent, because she knows everything he says is quite true, even if she doesn't want to admit it.

"Look, Mai. Unless LK modifies his note to include sexual harassment to the things that are strictly prohibited, you should probably switch seats with me."

"LIKE HELL!" The blonde buxom woman angrily yells. Switching seats would automatically mean defeat and make her earlier 'I'm not scared of you' statement completely worthless. Not to mention, the insufferable spirit would gloat and boast about it until the end of times. Joey groans, knowing how prideful she could be, and shakes his head. "Mai..."

"This isn't something that will break me and scar me for life, okay? This isn't the first time a guy felt entitled to just grab me without my consent (although this is the first time a demonic spirit has done it), and it definitely won't be the last. I'm a woman, these things happen all the time. I shouldn't be used to it, but I am. I'm going to be alright, I promise. Besides, I'd rather doubt you'd let this happen a second time."

Joey still shakes his head, not liking her decision to stay in her seat right next to Yami Bakura. But he knows, once she makes up her mind about something, there is no changing it.

"...You touch her again and you know where my next seat will be." He warned the spirit, who responded by flipping him off.

"Good God, spirit you've been here less than 15 minutes and you're already causing a three-ring circus in here. Keep your hands to yourself. " Ryou mutters, while Tristan and Tea start cracking up by Joey ingeniousness. "That was actually very clever, Joe." Yami offered up, also pleased to know somebody finally got the one-up over the infuriating white-haired man.

"Say hello to your next opponent." Mai says confidently, hands on her hips."It's Rex Raptor! He was a Regional Finalist." Yugi realizes, seeing the familiar face.

Rex, who is currently behind Mai, laughs stupidly. "Hehe, you said 'region'." Nevertheless, Joey has a determined look on his face that says what his decision will be. "I foolishly accept ya challenge!"

"Foolishly?" Joey says crossly.

Tristan instantly pipes up. "Don't do it, Joey, he'll clearly wipe the floor with you!"

"Gee, thanks so much for the unyielding faith you have for me." Joey says sarcastically. "Especially when ya take into account that you pretty much DID say that but different words!"

Joey says offscreen. "It is implied that I am punching you!" Mai shows up instead, first with a smile on her face and then turning into an expression of shock.

"Psh, you didn't actually punch me. You just shoved me...or something. You know, I don't even remember." Tristan says confused, scratching his head. "More likely the original series had Joey punch you, but it was changed in our show since we had to keep it 'kid-friendly'."

"Well, that's just an exaggeration of censorship." Tea says, rolling her eyes. "Even cartoons have some sort of mild violence."

"Our universe is the kid-friendly show? I am dying of curiosity to know what the NOT kid-friendly universe differs in." Yami Bakura mused.

Tea literally says "Gasp!" and Tristan looked a bit roughed up and angry, sprawling on the ground. "Hey, no fair! You can't punch me while I'm not onscreen!"

The camera moves from to Tristan's position back up to Joey's, who still had a fist in the air. "You had it coming!" His hand drops and he looks out into space. "Ever since your voice changed, you've been like a totally different person. Well actually, you've been like the same person just with a totally different voice. But you know what I mean."

"So you punched me because you didn't like my new voice." Tristan deadpanned. "Guess so." Joey shrugged.

Tristan turns away from his friend, a hand of 'don't talk to me' headed straight to Joey. "Good luck winning this card game without my help." As he walks away, Joey states in a not-so-friendly way. "Yeah, 'cause you're usually such an important character!"

Back at the dueling field, Mai is seeing coaching Rex in how to win. "Just remember our deal, Rex." She shouts at him with a raised gloved hand. "And watch out for his Time Wizard. That's what he used to defeat my Harpies."

Rex looks down at her from his deck podium, looking surprised. "You have herpes?"

"Oh, go screw yourself, LK." Mai scoffs, while Joey is trying hard not laugh."Hey, it's a totally doable misinterpretation!"

"HARPIES!" She yells back at him in frustration.

Rex, still looking down at her, yells back. "Stop saying herpes!"

Muffled snickers came from both sides of the couch. "I will never look at Harpies the same way again."

Yugi suddenly decides to turn and start running from the dueling arena. "I'm gonna go find Tristan." Tea is left alone at the sidelines, a longing expression on her face. "Oh, I love it when he abandons me..." She sighs in a yearning tone, looking back at the now gone Yugi.

How awkward indeed to be put in the position of sitting right next to Yugi at this exact moment. A bright red blush blooms in Tea's face and she looks to the opposite direction, not willing to take another humiliating confrontation with him again. Even so, she could still hear the stifled laughter from Joey and Tristan.

"Oh yes!" Joey says in a high falcetto, putting the back of his hand to his forehead in a Gone with the Wind sort of way.

"Please Yugi, abandon me some more for I am a total masochist!" A loud gasp comes from out of Tea's mouth and Yugi has the very strong urge to disappear from the face of everything, but since that is not possible, he withstands his friends poking fun at him and his girl [SPACE] friend.

Tristan is at a pond, splashing his face with water. "Must.. wash.. away.. the sin.."

"That sounds like something Charles Manson would say. Or just someone who makes you want to scrub your skin with bleach after meeting them." Mai comments idly.

Yugi enters the scene, seeing his friend at the edge of the pond. "Hey Tristan, what's up?" Tristan turns around with a dejected expression, not expecting to see the short duelist there. "Yugi, what are you dong here? You should be helping Joey."

Yugi just smiles at him warmly. "Joey doesn't need my help. Don't you get it, Tristan? This is Joey's coming-of-age episode where he proves he's a real man by winning a children's card game all by himself!"

The screen is overtaken by black with small white letters saying:

[seriously]

"I'm starting to think Little Kuriboh doesn't like Duel Monsters that much." Tristan says, a small grin on his face. It actually was pretty funny how much their group of friends centered their lives on the game. "The fact that she keeps on referring to it as a 'children's card game' is frankly annoying." Mai growls. Being a twenty-four year old woman, she takes personal offense to that.

"Many card games are considered exclusively for adults, like poker or texas-hold-em'. Why? Because someone bets money on it?" She scoffs. "I wasn't aware someone had to gamble in order for it to become an 'adult' game."

Tristan approaches Yugi, looking very thoughtful. "Well, he's got a hot sister,"

"!" Joey makes a noise of anger, looking at his friend with daggers in his eyes.

"So I guess I can forgive him for assaulting me."

"And that's what true friendship is all about!" Yugi responds cheerfully. Tristan looks down at him, a question mark clear on his face. "What?"

"Let's just go back." Yugi says offscreen.

"Abridged!Yugi's got some seriously messed-up ideas about friendship." Tea huffs. "That is not what friendship represents at all!"

Both of them arrive at the arena. "Hey Joey, I've returned to give you my support!" Tristan says self-righteously. Joey replies back offscreen. "Hey Tristan!" A slight pause that almost feels dramatic. "I don't care!"

Tristan deflates at Joey's alter, while Ryou and Yugi snicker behind their hands at the hilarious way he said it. "That was certainly anti-climatic." Seto says.

"Time Roulette Go!" Joey shouts as he summons his Time Wizard. The monsters activates the roulette while the song The Power of Love starts playing in the background. His special ability attack starts and amontage of scenes representing human evolution appear, along with the subtitle:

YU-GI-OH PROVES CREATIONISM WRONG.

"As if anyone would actually believe such a flawed theory of how the earth was created." Seto scoffs. Yugi looks scandalized by the CEO's comment, specially since there is a person in the room who is a Christian. "Kaiba! You can't just insult's people's religion so flippantly!"

"By that logic, you can't speak the truth. If a religion mandates a person to say math doesn't exist, then would you tell people to keep their mouth shut so they won't be insulted? Please." He waves his hands as if saying 'get out of my face with your foolishness'.

"It's quite alright, Yugi. I know you're thinking he'd probably offend me since I'm a Catholic." Ryou says in a calm kind voice. "But the reality, the true extreme world is created in seven days and is not a day over six thousand years old Creationism stance is only endorsed by the loonies. I mean, evolution is cold hard fact and I know many people of my same religion feel the same thing. I like to think of myself as a progressive Catholic. I don't believe God hates gay people, I don't think babies who die before baptism will go to hell because of 'original sin', and I do not believe the Bible is the true Word of God."

"So why be a Catholic to begin with if you're going to pick and choose what you do or don't believe in?" Kaiba pressed, not realizing how inflammatory his question is. Everyone holds in a silent gasp. Doesn't he know religion should not be debated?! Like EVER? But even so, Ryou still answers in a placid tone.

"It's not an all-or-nothing choice, Kaiba. That's the beauty of the world! There's never a black-and-white. Most of the time, it's all just shades of varying grey. And since the Bible is made by Man, by flawed creatures, then it'd be stupid and contradictory of me to follow each sentence as the absolute truth. I obviously don't agree with the many misogynistic, homophobic, pro-slavery stances they take in it, especially in the Old Testament. That is allowed, don't you think?"

Seto, finding his argument logical sound, nods in approval, forming a respect for the whitette (even if he still believes in religious claptrap).

Rex looks at his calcified monster in awe. "Check it out. My dragon's stoned."

Everyone facepalms at this. "I can't believe I didn't see that coming."

"...Guess that dragon is on the same boat with Yami." Joey says slyly, and Tristan immediately guffaws. Mai and Tea giggle at the memory and the Pharaoh groaned in exasperation. Please not this again.

"Why the hell would a mythical dragon be on the same boat with the Pharaoh?" Yami Bakura asks, completely lost.

"Inside joke. No asses allowed." Joey casually states, looking at his fingernails. The spirit scowls. "Screw you."

"Well done, Joey!" Yugi excitedly says, while Tristan and Tea looked positively delighted Joey won the duel. "You believed in the Heart of the Cards and it came through for you!"

Joey doesn't look as happy. "Actually it was more like dumb luck."

"Same thing, really."

"No, it is definitely not! Any type of game takes a certain skill!" Yugi argues. "Although in Wheeler's case, it really was dumb luck for all Duelist Kingdom." Seto muses. Joey doesn't even attempt to interject with that, because truth to be told, Duelist Kingdom really was a bunch of lucky breaks.

It is night-time and Mai is standing alone in front of a dark creepy forest. She looks out the sea and closes her eyes, deep in thought. "Now that I'm all alone," A large dark scary looking figure appears right behind her. "Nothing could possibly go wrong."

"That's so scary!" Tea screeches, absolutely horrified. "I'd still be having nightmares if I had to go through something like that! That's so awful, Mai."

"Oh my God, look at that beast." Mai says, holding her arms tightly to her body as if still reliving it. "I've hadn't thought about that moment in forever."

Panik wraps a huge meaty hand around her mouth, dragging her back into the bushes. "IT'S RAPING TIME!"

All the boys wince, and the two girls literally shudder in a deep ingrained fright.

In a clearing, the gang are sitting around a campfire. Tea looks startled, apparently hearing something behind her. "There's something in the bushes!" Both Joey and Tristan turn to look at said bushes and see who will come out.

Ryou walks out of the dark forest and into the clearing, the famous horror movie soundtrack, "Ave Satani" from the classic The Omen playing in the background.

Corpuuuus...Edimuuuus!

Oh, no. The entire group grows worried for Ryou. LK was going to start with the Bakura-bashing again-

"OH I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT SONG!" Ryou squeals. "The Omen is one of my favorite movies ever!"

At this reaction, everybody sweat-drops. "Uh, shouldn't you be kinda pissed Little Kuriboh put a horror soundtrack that literally says Hail Satan! when you appeared?" Tristan asks, perplexed. "Oh, I probably would be if it was any other song, but THIS one? It's a classic! " He replies back proudly.

"...O..kaaay..."

Psh. What amateurs. Can't they tell it isn't even my host? And they call themselves his 'friends'.

Right after he steps out, white subtitles at the bottom read:

[cue screaming fangirls]

"MAN, how the heck do ya do it Bakura?!" Joey, who is right next to the British teen, turns around to his direction. "Hm?"

"Even in another freaking UNIVERSE you got fangirls!"

"Oh." A slight pink blush appears on Ryou's cheeks, not at all accustomed to being put on the spotlight. "I-I don't really do anythin-"

"Seriously, dude. What's the deal?!" Tristan interjects, addressing everybody now. "You always got like a chock-full of love letters in your locker, your desk, your backpack," He starts counting off the objects he's seen Ryou pull out many heart-scribbled notes in school.

"And to them, you're a freaking CARTOON, and you STILL got fangirls! And not just any fangirls, but screaming fangirls."

"I think I've seen him pull out a letter from his lunchbox once-"

"I wouldn't surprised if some of these girls have a freaking shrine dedicated to you. You're like a total chick magnet! What's your secret?!" Joey pushes himself up against Ryou's now burning up face, wholeheartedly anxious to know what he did to 'woo' the ladies. He laughs nervously, pushing his blonde friend's head off his personal space.

"J-Joey, I don't do anything special-"

"Oh you gotta give us something better than that!"

"You guys want me to tell you why Bakura's popular with the girls?" Mai suddenly intervenes in a no-nonsense I'm about to school you tone. "It's very simple. Number 1: The boy is polite. Now, I know a lot of guys like to think we go for the bad tough guys, and it's simply not true. A girl wants to feel respected, not treated like trash. I have a feeling this one might reject you, but he'll do so in such a gentle and kind way, you won't even feel as heartbroken. Number 2: He isn't jumping at the first opportunity to get laid, like most teenage boys are, and he certainly doesn't reek of desperation. Since you mention he gets a lot of female admirers, you can bet your ass he gets at least one opening daily. And Number 3: Are you blind?" She whips her hands to him, as if saying 'look at him'.

"He is gorgeous!" She says bluntly, with no embarrassment or bias.

Meanwhile, Ryou is literally shrinking upon himself. His pale skin is now completely bright red, and he doesn't even know where to look at without looking like a complete dork. He can't even utter a shy 'thank you' or SOMETHING because he's just so embarrassed, the words have dried up in his throat.

"So what? Bakura's the hottest thing to ever happen to the world and we're all just butt-ugly, so we're royally screwed?" Joey says jokingly.

"Hey, that was my third point. You just decided to ignore my earlier two." She smirks at this, also being playful.

"Hello guys, it's me, Bakura!" He looks at at Joey, who has a strangely alarmed expression on his face. "I've been stalking you for the past five episodes! I hope that doesn't seem too suspicious."

"Ugh, that doesn't sound remotely like me!" Ryou moans. "And I most definitely haven't been stalking anyone ever. In fact...I don't even remember meeting you guys back at Duelist Kingdom." He realizes. "I just remember being there all of the sudden, with no explanation as to why I got here in the first place."

"That's because you were already locked in your little soul room, landlord." Yami Bakura grins at him. "I was already in your body before you even saw these jokes on the island. I got my innocent sweet Ryou impression down to a par, no?"

He glares at the spirit, silently wishing he'd disappear.

The scene changes to everyone else, who is still looking afraid and surprised. "Do we know you?" Yugi asks.

"Hmph." The British teens huffs irritably, crossing his arms in the process. "He-he..." They all say nervously. "Like I said, this show portrays what you actually think and fe-eeel!" The antagonistic yami sings out.

"He does seem familiar somehow." Tristan pipes up. Joey interjects. "What's the deal with his inappropriate accent?"

The Omen theme continues while close up shot of Bakura appears.

Corpuuuus...edimuuuus!

"So in reality, LK really is dedicating this wonderful song to me. And I have been compared to Satan. Absolutely fantastic!" There is no irony nor sarcasm in his words. He is actually beaming with arrogance and pride at the comparison.

The next shot is all of the gang sitting in a circle around a bonfire. "Let's all compare ourselves to our cards in order to set up a plot point for the next episode." Yugi says cheerfully.

"I'm guessing Bakura won't make his official introduction in this episode. How odd." Yami comments. Once again, Ryou glares at him.

"I am already IN this episode, Pharaoh. Did you not hear what i said? It never was Ryou to start with!" The spirit scoffs at not being paid attention to.

Joeu holds up a card with the Star Wars Kid on it. "I'm the Flame Swordsman!"

Tristan holds up his card who is Man-at-Arms from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. "I'm the Cyber Commander." Tea brings up her card, who has Sailor Moon on the picture. "I'm the Magician of Faith."

"Er...yeah, those aren't any of our cards."

Finally, Yugi shows his card with the Black Mage on it. "And I'm the Dark Magician. What about you Bakura?"

Bakura smiles. "This is my favourite card." He holds up a card with Sephiroth from Final Fantasy and The Omen theme plays.

Tolleeee corpus!

"Hey, that's Sephiroth from Final Fantasy! That's one of my favorite games as well!" Ryou states excitedly.

"Oops! Wrong one." He puts it away and brings up the Change of Heart. "There we go, the Change of Heart. If you want to know how it works, we could have a duel right now."

A shot of Ryou with somewhat eerie smile on his face appears and The Omen song plays again.

Sataaaaaaani!

"Now you can definitely tell that's not Ryou." Seto says the obvious.

"That sounds innocent enough!" Yugi says, while Tea also smiles in agreement. Ryou's normally large eyes turn narrow and slanted, an insidious grin on his lips and two locks of hair start to rise.

SATAAAAAAANI!

"Will The Omen start playing the minute every time HE looks at the camera funny? We get it, he's evil reincarnated." Mai complains. "It's getting kind of old."

Ryou cuts off the music with his sweet wouldn't-hurt-a-fly tone. "By the way, there's something I'd like you to know." The forests starts to blur into dark shadows, and everyone looks shocked.

"You're a bunch of idiots." A rougher coarser voice comes out of the teen, letting everyone know Yami Bakura is done playing Ryou.

"Hey, his voice actually sounds pretty similar to yours." Tristan observes, looking at the yami who scoffs. "That isn't even remotely true."

"No, actually. Tristan's right. Your abridged character sounds exactly like you." Yami realizes, agreeing with the other's words.

The Millennium Ring glows brightly and everyone turns blue and pass out, meaning they lost their soul. "This came completely out of nowhere!" Yugi says as he collapses. Yami Bakura is the only one left standing, a sadistic gleeful expression in his evil eyes.

"That's what you get for hogging all of my screen time, you little bitch." He says resentfully.

Almost everyone snorts and smiles at this. "Screen time?" The spirit asks, bewildered.

"It's a running gag in the show. Whenever Bakura appears, abridged!Yugi says something about not wanting him to take away his 'precious screen time' and that he isn't even a main character anyway. I'm guessing this applies to you, too." Tea explains, while Ryou looks rightfully irritated at the fact.

"Hehe-" Both Joey and Tristan snicker, finding the the abridged version of Yami Bakura actually kind of amusing so far.

He walks over to Yugi's soulless body. "Now to take the Millennium Puzzle, and steal your role as main character!" He reaches for the puzzle, but it suddenly glows.

"It figures Little Kuriboh would make Bakura's villanious purpose something as trivial as that." Yugi mulls over. "If only that would be the case."

"Sorry, little one." The spirits says in prominent mocking tone, not feeling the slightest ounce of sorry at all. "No dice." He grins wickedly, large white teeth gleaming like a ravenous shark.

"What in Zorc's name is going on?!" The villain looks very shocked while Yugi turns into Yami.

If Yami Bakura had been drinking any type of liquid, he would surely do a near-perfect spit-take at hearing his alter say this. But instead, his eyes almost bulge out his sockets, and his jaw drops to the floor. H-HOW THE?! How the hell did Little Kuriboh know about...?!

While he is trying to wrap his mind around the whys and how, and the obvious WTFs currently flying away at a million miles an hour in his mind, the group seems to be taken back by the unfamiliar name.

"Who's Zorc?" Both Mai and Tea wonder, puzzlement in their eyes. "Maybe LK just made up a random name and made it sound like some type of demon?" Ryou suggests, not having the luxury to know everything in the spirit's thoughts in the past. Everyone shrugs their shoulders at this, but Seto is staring right at the spirit, noticing at how he's practically five seconds away from hyperventilating.

"...You know who Zorc is, don't you?" Oh, shit.

"How would I know what this idiotic LK being means by Zorc? Psh," He scoffs. "I've never heard that name in my life."

"You're lying." Seto does not say this in an accusing manner, nor does he attempt to be hostile. He merely states this as a fact, because he is 100% sure the spirit is not telling the truth. A loud snarl escapes his mouth, once again covering his fear of being discovered by anger.

"You're calling me a liar, mortal?" He hisses out dangerously.

"Yes." Seto says bluntly, but doesn't push the question anymore because he frankly doesn't care. The yami internally sighs of relief.

"Get your hands off my Puzzle, you limey fruitcake!" Yami yells at the spirit.

"Wow, that's certainly a new one. I've heard limey kid, and limey senses, but never limey fruitcake." Ryou rolls his eyes.

"What say you and I have a card game to decide which one of us deserves to be the main character?" Dark Bakura says confidently while the camera pans up from the Pharaoh back to him. A close up shot of his narrowed eyes shows up.

"And when I win, this show will be all mine!"

The shot changes to both of them having some sort of stand-off, while an enlarged drawing of their determined faces is held up right above their respective side. "Okay, but who are you?" Yami asks confused.

"I'm Bakura!"

"Never heard of you!"

"I can see how Ryou would be annoyed by so many of those quips." Yami Bakura grits out.

The Yu-Gi-Oh! abridged series mark appears with the theme of The Omen (again), signaling the end of the episode.

The next black screen shows the white letter caption of:

[yami vs bakura
place your bets]

"And that's the end of Episode 8. Is it me, or do these episodes feel longer by the second?"

A suddenly sad music starts playing while white onscreen texts says:

AND NOW A VERY
SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM
THE CAST AND CREW
OF YU-GI-OH...

"Oh great. It's still not over?!"

Yami appears, looking directly at the screen. "Hi folks. Here at Yu-Gi-Oh! we like to have a good laugh as much as the next guy." A close-up of his serious face is shown.

"But there comes a time when the laughter must stop, and that's usually when somebody dies."

"Oh no, who died?! Maybe Little Kuriboh didn't create the show by himself!"

A picture of a thoughtful-looking Tristan appears, while a circle starts to slowly form around his face. "Recently, a treasured member of our cast passed away."

"HOLY CRAP! Did my alter DIE?!"

"His name was Tristan Taylor's Voice."

"Are you even KIDDING me, right now." Tristan groans and facepalms so hard, it's almost painful. "They're having a funeral for my stupid VOICE?!"

Joey sniffs, wiping fake tears from his eyes. "He will surely be missed."

Tea appears, looking sadly at the camera. "He meant so much to all of us!" A slideshow of Tristan alongside Tea, with that same slowly forming circle around his face. "He made us laugh, made us cry.. I can't believe he's really gone."

Yugi now takes the screen. "When I first heard that Tristan's Voice had died, I couldn't believe what I was hearing! His voice was like family to me!"

Now it's Joey's turn to speak up. "I was with him when his voice passed away. His voice had been struggling to overcome an addiction to alcohol, and, well, one thing led to another."

"This show is absolutely absurd." Yami Bakura says, features scrunched up in distaste.

A different shot of Joey appears, with the subtitles RECONSTRUCTION at the bottom. "Tristan's Voice, have you been drinking?" He says in shocked manner. Tristan throws his arm around Joey, sporting his original voice. "I can't remember because I'm so drunk!"

"PFFT!" He snorts, and starts cackling. "No wonder you were so happy you got another voice!"

"Hey wait! Don't run with those scissors!" Joey calls after him running and Tristan's Voice responds. "You're not the boss of me!" A loud noise. "OUCH!"

"Oh no. He's dead." Joey says in the most monotone emotionless way possible.

The reconstruction ends as Mai appears. "What happened was just terrible. I'd never want anything bad to happen to my voice." Mukuba suddenly appears. "Neither would I!" He says miserable.

Yami once again takes the screen. "And so, we dedicate this episode to the memory of Tristan's Voice. Goodnight, sweet prince, and a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest."

"How poetic, Yami." Yugi giggles.

Tristan Taylor's tombstone is shown, followed by an overlay image of Tristan's smiling face. The captions above and below his face read:

IN LOVING MEMORY OF
TRISTAN TAYLOR'S
ORIGINAL VOICE

EPISODE ONE - EPISODE SEVEN

"Man, I'm about to start bawling here!" Joey fake sobs once again. "Don't leave us, Tristan's Voice! Come baaaaaack!"

Mokuba appears one more time as the N64 kid. "NINTENDO SIXTY FOUUUR!" He screams in an almost incomprehensible voice.

Everyone covers their ears at the screech, not expecting that.

"Ugh, what did he say? I couldn't even understand any of it!" Tea says after the fact, finally lowering her hands. "It sounded like just shrieking to me. And it hurt my ears." Mai adds in, rubbing her outer ear.

"Okay, NOW the episode's over. Thank God." Yugi sighs in relief.

"THIS is what I am going to have to do? Utterly waste my time watching this stupid excuse for a television shows with you insects?" Yami Bakura hisses acidly, and gets up from his seat to glare directly above.

"Is this some sort of punishment, you son of a bitch?! WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU!?" He yells at the top of his lungs, and points angrily at the non-existent ceiling. "Aren't we supposed to be brothers?! YOU TRAITOR!!"

"...I have a feeling Bakura still believes LK is a demon."

.


* HA. You saw that? I called YB a fluffy kitten :3

God, it's been fucking hard to NOT just call the spirit "Bakura", but I really feel like it'd be the greatest of insults to Ryou as that is HIS name don't you think? Which is why I am trying every tactic known to call him something else. Let's see how long I can keep this up before giving up from the exhaustion. And holy shit, do you realize how LONG this update is? Twelve thousand words. 12,000...

I gotta be honest with you, I was both very excited AND a little nervous (fine, really freaking scared) to officially introduce Yami Bakura in the void. I never written canon YBakura before, (well actually I've never written any type of YB before, period) and I was a little scared that I might not be worthy enough to portray his awesome character. So...tell me...how was your reaction to Yami Bakura? Totally in sync, or not even close? LEMME KNOW!

And also, I was really sick this entire week, so that kinda also put a damper on my motivation to write which is why it took a while. If this update wasn't as funny or cool as you expected, blame it on my bronchitis people.

I am ecstatic to start writing the next episode (you know, the minute I get better). You know why? Chapter 9 is going to be a complete CLUSTERFUCK of shit, you won't belieeeve it.

I'll give you a hint: *swearing in Spanish*

THAT IS ALL!