Maria was pacing outside the door when Joel walked up with Ellie. The blond woman ran forward as soon as she saw them and grabbed Ellie's shoulders, clearly frantic. "Where have you been?" She demanded. "Tommy's been out looking for you for hours."
"I'm fine." Ellie insisted, jerking out of Maria's hands and walking into the house without another word.
Joel watched her go with a frown. "It was my fault." He said, looking to Maria. "I saw her leave but didn't make her come back. Thought she could use some time to clear her head." He explained, knowing that Ellie needed that time smashing up things in the farmhouse. He could only imagine what it was like being smothered by Tommy and Maria's concern. He knew he wouldn't be able to stand it.
"That isn't up to you, Joel. She isn't your responsibility." Maria said as she ran her hands through her hair. "She's staying with me and Tommy, and we're the ones who decides what she does and does not need." She insisted and Joel raised his eyebrows, taken aback by Maria's hostility.
Then, he registered what she said. "Ellie doesn't do well when you try to boss her around. She's been through Hell, that's for sure, but she's a tough girl and has a good head on her shoulders. She knows what she needs." He insisted, keeping his voice low in the dark night. The last thing he wanted was to bother any of the other families already sleeping in the houses next door – and that thought was far to normal for his comfort. 'Fuck the neighbors.' He thought smugly. 'Things are too fucking normal here.' He added to himself before he found himself pushed back by a finger in his chest.
"Don't you dare tell me how to take care of this. In case you missed it, you're kind of the reason we're in this situation to begin with." She accused and Joel's eyes hardened and his body stiffened.
"That's not fair. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't left her. It could'a been worse for all we know. But that doesn't matter because what-ifs mean shit. And I'm here now aren't I?" He asked and noticed a light coming on upstairs – clearly Ellie's room.
"Whatever. I have to radio Tommy and let him know she's back." Maria waved him off dismissively and it irritated Joel to no end. He watched her leave and glanced up at Ellie's room once more, seeing the girl peering down at him from the curtain. As soon as she realized he was looking at her, though, she ducked into the room and didn't return.
Joel sighed and patted Bandit's head. "C'mon." He murmured and walked back to the home assigned to him. It was large and tattered, but warm and had a bed. He grabbed a quick dinner out of a can and slumped on the couch. Bandit jumped up and curled next to him. Joel watched an old movie he remembered watching with Sarah before the outbreak. He passed out wondering if Ellie needed to stay here, or if she'd be better off on the road.
His concerns continued to grow as they had now been there a month and Ellie didn't look as if she was making any progress. He wasn't expecting her to be better overnight, of course, but some sign that she was starting to put all this behind her would have been nice. However, she was still just as distant, cold, and argumentative as she first was.
The only thing she seemed to respond to was Bandit. So far, the dog had been the only one to make her smile, and even then only briefly. It was hard seeing her so cut off from everyone. They were in the best situation possible for her to recover – consistent living arrangements, no threats, reliable food and water sources, and yet Joel sensed that it wasn't what she needed.
Ellie and he were kindred spirits. They operated best when things weren't so reliable. When there was danger, they were the kind of people that could be relied upon. When food was scarce, they were the kind of people who could go out into the dangerous forest and hunt – even knowing something could be hunting for them too.
Instead, Ellie was stuck here, probably being constantly asked about what she was thinking, what was her nightmare about, did she want to talk about it? He wouldn't be able to stand it, even from his own brother – and Ellie wasn't even related to them. That was why Joel wasn't surprised Ellie didn't object to them going hunting together.
Ellie was one of the best shots in the settlement, so it was more effective that way anyway. It also gave her some time free from Tommy and Maria. They didn't talk beyond hello or goodbye, but it gave her time with Bandit and allowed her to free her mind a bit. Joel enjoyed it as well, just as he understood Ellie, Ellie understood him. She was still angry at him, but he was the only person in the town who could give her what she needed.
It continued that way for several weeks. Joel continued offering his silent support, until Ellie suddenly broke their silent record.
"Have you ever been surfing?"
Joel had been looking down his scope at a large buck when she asked. His eyebrows shot up on his brow because it had been so shocking – not to mention out of the blue. He slowly lowered the gun and turned to her. "Uhhh…N-No. I haven't." He said, realizing she wasn't focusing on their hunt at all, and instead was just sitting and petting Bandit.
He was briefly annoyed that she was distracting the dog who was very helpful at slowing the buck down, but brushed it aside, realizing her speaking to him was much more important. "Why?" He asked.
"I've always wanted to go surfing." She admitted with a shrug, looking at the large, green trees surrounding them. It was nearly spring, the day was warm, bright, and the sun trickled through the leaves to the forest floor. They were hiding behind a large boulder to stay out of view of the buck.
"But you don't know how to swim." Was all Joel could think to say.
She shrugged again. "I could learn. I don't know how to surf either." She pointed out, and Joel had to admit she had a point.
"Do, uhh, you want me to teach you?" He asked tentatively.
"No." She snapped swiftly.
"Maria then?" He offered and Ellie shook her head.
"No. Not her." She murmured, and then turned and her eyes got distant. Joel figured that meant she was done talking, but he knew the short conversation meant there was a lot going on in her head; he needed to know what it was.
"How is it? Staying with them." He asked and Ellie rolled her eyes a bit and suddenly snatched up her bow and turned stood to lean over the rock. "Ellie-."
"I never should have said anything." She cut him off and knocked an arrow into her bow. She set it loose and caught a large rabbit in the neck. It fell limp immediately and Bandit darted off without an order and snatched the thing up. Unfortunately, that sent the buck darting off into the trees; he wondered if Ellie did it on purpose.
He strapped his rifle over his shoulder and then grabbed the rabbit from bandit's mouth as the dog presented it gleefully. He took the arrow out of its neck and saw the shaft was still good, so he handed it back to Ellie and she put it back in the quiver. He placed the rabbit in the bag they brought with them and joined it with the other she had killed earlier.
Joel lamented not catching that buck, but still considered the trip a success.
It happened again a few days later when they left hunting once more. They were utterly silent, hadn't even said a word to each other in greeting, when Ellie spoke out of the blue. "Have you ever been to California?"
Realizing this was an extension of their previous conversation, Joel nodded. "Yeah, a few times before the outbreak. Once afterwards. I took Sarah there once." He explained, smiling nostalgically. It amazed him that he could think of his daughter without feeling like he was falling apart. "We went to Disneyland." He explained and Ellie gave him an odd look, when he realized she probably had no idea what that was.
"It's this amusement park. It's kind of like a small city. It's umm…Well it used to be this big thing for kids. Had rides and characters from movies." He tried to explain but by the blank look on his face knew she didn't get it. Just another thing the outbreak had destroyed. She'd probably never even heard of Mickey Mouse before. "Anyway, she really wanted to go. So I picked up an extra job and took her for her birthday. She was ten." He added distantly, smiling as he thought about the trip.
Ellie was silent for a moment, eying him intently as if she was looking for something. She opened her mouth and then shut it quickly. Whatever it was she was going to say, she clearly thought better of it and instead turned and walked away. Joel watched her take a few steps and then turned to follow, before realizing he hadn't heard anything from Bandit in a while.
He glanced around the area around them and saw the dog playfully snapping at dandelion wisps as they blew in the wind. He smiled a bit, then gave a hard whistle and the dog quickly came to his hell and the two followed Ellie's lead deeper into the forest.
It was yet another week before Ellie spoke again. Now it was well into spring and the weather was warm, but not hot, and new flowers were blooming through the settlement and surrounding forest. The trio were taking a break from a poor hunting morning, as they hadn't caught anything yet, and munching on some dried fruit they had brought with them from Tommy's Town before they left.
"Is it far?"
Joel didn't need to ask her what she was talking about. He nodded simply. "We're near the middle of the country. It's about as far to California as Boston is to here." He explained as he popped another piece of fruit in his mouth.
"Oh…" She sounded disappointed.
"And there's a desert between here and there." He added and then chuckled a bit.
"Oh…" She murmured lowly, letting her head fall a bit. Joel eyed her, then shrugged and stood.
"C'mon, Kid. Let's see if we can't find anything." He tried and Ellie stood and finished off the last few pieces of fruit before following him deeper into the forest.
Three days later Joel woke to pounding on his door and Bandit barking incessantly. "Hush! It's nothing." Joel ordered, and the dog obediently stopped barking, if he didn't know when to be quiet when ordered he'd be no good on hunts. Joel stood slowly and rubbed his bearded face, trying to wipe the sleep away.
He walked down the steps, Bandit on his heels, and slowly opened the door. The sun was barely rising but there was enough light in the dusky morning to clearly see a frantic Maria and Tommy standing at his door. He sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't even need to ask what had happened. He already knew.
"How long has she been gone?" He asked, his deep voice cracking a bit as he was still waking.
"The last time we saw her was yesterday. We thought she was with you." Tommy explained and Joel sighed and bowed his head a bit.
"I know where she went. Get me a horse. I'll find her." He promised and then turned back inside and started walking up the steps. Maria left to get a horse, but Tommy followed him up.
"Maybe one of us should go get her."
"No. It needs to be me. You two would just-." He cut himself off, not wanting to sound inconsiderate to all Tommy and Maria had done for Ellie; they didn't know it wasn't what she needed.
"Just what?" Tommy asked defensively.
"Forget it. She's going to California. I'm going to take her there." Joel explained as he collected all of his things, as well as some cans of food.
Tommy's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "You're what?! That is a horrible idea. She's still having nightmares several times a week and she barely talks to anyone. The last thing she needs is to travel across the country."
"She knows what she needs, Tommy." Joel struggled to keep his voice even, but managed to do so. He was proud of himself. "What she doesn't need is you and your wife breathing down her neck."
"Well at least we care about her." Tommy crossed his arms over his chest.
"So do I!" Joel huffed and tensed, ready to fight, but then rolled his lips into his mouth and stepped back, shaking his head. "I know her. She and I…We're not like normal people. We're survivors, Tommy. Staying here, it ain't good for her. She's just wallowing in what that man did to her. On the road she'll be able to clear her head, focus on something else - a goal. She knows that, that's why she left."
Tommy looked at him for a moment and then let his arms fall to his side. "You may be right." Tommy murmured and Joel shrugged.
"It's been known to happen occasionally." He said, grabbing his rifle and handgun before walking out of the home. Maria was walking up with a horse and he set his things on its back, Bandit stood nearby, ready to go. He hugged Tommy goodbye, knowing it could be a long time before he saw him again. Tommy held onto him tightly and then stepped back.
"Good luck." He said, understanding in his eyes. Joel nodded and without any tearful farewells urged the horse on with his dog trotting next to him.
Maria bit her lip and looked up at Tommy. "They're not coming back, are they?" She asked and Tommy shook his head.
"But I think that's a good thing."
