She startles awake to the sound of voices coming from somewhere...sounds so far away. She's disoriented. There's a sliver of light. What the- Oh, the drapes. They're drawn almost closed. She takes a deep breath and sinks back into the pillow. She wishes he hadn't done that, closed the drapes so that now – now her heart is pounding. Breathe, Kate. Just relax. She can hear all their voices now, Rick, her dad, Alexis, Terry. They should be happy sounds, yet she's got this lump in her throat. Don't cry. Just get up and put some clothes on and go join them – her family.

Augh! She shouldn't have looked in the mirror. She looks awful. She quickly brushes her teeth and runs a brush though her hair. She pulls her hair up into a clip and splashes water on her face. Improvement? It'll have to do. She throws on some stretchy capris and a loose fitting, silky, purple top. Purple is a good color for her. It should liven up her skin. She looks in the mirror one more time-

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty." He appears leaning against the bathroom doorframe. "You look gorgeous."

She looks back in the mirror and wonders if he needs to make an appointment with an ophthalmologist. In her perception she looks kind of gray and puffy around the eyes. "Thanks? I'm not feeling very gorgeous. Could sort of make me doubt your past compliments, Castle. Why didn't you wake me?"

"Wasn't my idea," He says, defensively. Your dad wanted to make sure you got a good sleep." She gives him a look. "Hey, they ganged up on me; kept me from coming in here. No one trusted I wouldn't wake you. Alexis sneaked in and closed the drapes. "

She hears the whine in his voice and rolls her eyes. She even attempts a smile, "Well, you could've...done something, Castle. I feel a little embarrassed. What time is it?"

"I don't know why you feel embarrassed, you did exactly what everyone wanted, you slept for a good long time and it's," then his voice drops, "a little after 10:00"

"Seriously?" Seven or eight o'clock was sleeping in for her.

She puts one hand on his chest, the other on his shoulder and turns him toward the bedroom doorway, the kitchen and the coffee pot her destination. She takes another deep breath and follows close behind him. She stifles a yawn and squeezes past him toward the caffeine, avoiding everyone's eyes. She needs something to jolt her into her place among – okay, among the living. There's no one here to offend. The dead guy is long gone.

"Katie, you're up! You could have slept longer."

She cocks her head and gives her dad a look that she knows he will understand while hoping no one else will. She knows he instigated the whole, she needs her rest routine.

She reaches for her coffee mug and then realizes that Terry has it. She finds an alternative mug. "Dad," she attempts an even tone. "I'm pretty sure I could have gotten by on less than thirteen hours." She has that sensation of being over-saturated with sleep and she's trying, she's really trying, not to be too pissed off about it. The coffee left in the pot fills her mug almost two-thirds full. Sigh. She pulls out the canister but there's no ground coffee. She's fighting the lump in her throat again and her eyes start to sting. This is silly. It's only coffee. Rick sees how fragile she looks and comes up behind her, bends to whisper in her ear. "I'll take care of it. I'll grind that special blend you like, with the vanilla beans. What would you like to eat?" She can't help herself, she leans into his embrace, feels his strength surrounding her. "'K. Are there bagels?"

"Hey, there's anything you want. Bagels, lox and cream cheese, eggs, potatoes, ham, bacon, sausage...pancakes?"

She turns her head up to him. Smiles. Grateful. "How 'bout a toasted bagel with butter and a little jam?"

"You got it. Go. Sit. Visit. Drink coffee. Cream is on the table."

She reaches up and gives him a tiny kiss on the jaw. He really is capable of being in charge. He's extraordinary. In this moment, she feels like she really doesn't deserve him. And she needs to not cry. What is wrong with her, anyway? – No, no, no...not the ptsd. Please. Not that again. Or still. Or. Whatever.

She sits at the table and listens as Terry tells Alexis the story of how she and Jim started dating. As Kate had already known, they'd met at AA, "Oh, yeah," says Terry, grinning, "I had my eye on him for a long time – No, wait, that sounds like I was some kind of dirty old woman, trying to 13-step him!" Terry laughs. She actually has a fairly hideous laugh, loud and kind of – braying. That's what Castle would call it. But, oddly, it makes her seem more accessible, less stiff than Kate's first impression of her. "And I didn't want to make any moves on somebody that was just going to go back out there, not work his program. You know?" Alexis nods. Kate does, too. Both of them truly intrigued with the tale. Then Alexis asks, "What's 13-stepping?" Terry says, "Well, in the 12-step program you're cautioned not to get romantically involved with any of the newbies – And I thought Jim was pretty darned hot, so I steered clear of him. Ha!"

Kate's surprised that she's enjoying the story and grinning a little at the idea that Terry, or any woman thinks her dad is hot!

"Well," Jim speaks up, "I thought she didn't like me. Early on, I asked her to be my sponsor and she turned me down. I was crushed. It took me two weeks to get up the nerve to ask someone else. Then after awhile she started inviting me to some of the group activities. But for the longest time it was always with a group of five or more people so I just figured we were friends."

"Yeah, then, when his 5-year birthday started getting closer, I started asking him to coffee or breakfast before a meeting. I think I even asked you to lunch a couple of times when it wasn't anywhere close to a meeting time and it wasn't with any of our AA friends, either."

"I think so. But I just thought you'd decided we could be friends. Then, after my fifth birthday celebration, we started doing more things – in groups or just the two of us. I still didn't think I stood a chance of actually dating you." He flushes a little at sharing this bit of information with everyone.

"Then, about six months ago he confided in me that he thought he'd like to start dating but just didn't know how to get started. And I said, 'Well, what do you think we've been doing? Are you telling me you want to stop dating me and date other people?' It's really hilarious now but that whole conversation – oh, my, I'm condensing it so it' won't be as confusing now as it was then!"

"So, yeah, we'd been dating for about 4 years and I didn't even know it!"

"Not quite, Mister! That would count some of the time when I was avoiding going after you! – Or, wait, maybe not, anyway..."

Kate and Rick exchanged small smiles and then look back to Jim and Terry.

Alexis eyes are glistening but she has a huge grin on her face, "Four years! That's just like Dad and Kate!"

Rick starts to protest, "Well, Pumpk-"

"No. Dad. You and Kate didn't know you were dating either!"

Kate feels the color rising in her cheeks. She take a sip of coffee so that she can hold the mug in front of her bright pink face. Then she takes a quick glance at Rick. He seems a bit flushed, too. They've been together for a few months now. She can't believe these kinds of revelations can still affect her this way, , like how even Alexis saw what was between them before...well-

"I think you may have a point there, Alexis," Jim agrees.

"You guys, everybody else knew! Everybody." Alexis exclaims.

Terry adds, "Well, I have to say, I thought Jim was talking about the two of you as a couple for a long time. I even asked him something about his son-in-law once and was completely confused when he corrected me."

Everyone laughs, even Kate as she looks at the table, shaking her head. She's crimson now.

The conversation continues. Lively. Laughing. Kate's momentarily forgotten the events of the day before. Pretty soon Alexis excuses herself to make a phone call and Jim and Terry stand, beginning to gather their things, the rituals of good-bye. Kate's quiet. The lump in her throat returns. Don't cry, don't cry...

Rick says, "I was just going to see what I could offer you for lunch." He's trying for a stall.

Fairly simultaneously, Jim and Terry respond, "No, we have a meeting to get to."

They walk to the door, still exchanging pleasantries. They all stop and look at one another for a second. Maybe two. Then everyone's hugging. "Be safe." "We'll have to get together again." "...Without the assassin." Who knows who is saying which pleasantry. Rick closes the door. The good-byes said, Jim and Terry waved down the hall...

He turns and nearly trips over her where she sits cross-legged on the floor, her head in her hands. He drops down to sit beside her. "Kate- I-"

"It's all screwed up Castle. And it's all my fault. Everyone's in danger. We're all in danger. Just because Maddox is gone, that doesn't mean it's over. And for God's sake, it was all I could do to keep from grabbing them back and making them stay. I don't want anyone to go anywhere. We weren't even safe here." The tears are rushing from her eyes, the dam is broken.

Tentatively, he reaches for her hand. She grabs it, so fiercely he jumps. She's trembling and curling into a ball. He puts his arms around her and she latches onto him, clutching and climbing into him like that's the only place and he's the only one. He takes her into his lap, wraps her snugly to him there, holds her and begins to rock, humming, not really a tune just cooing into her hair.

"I can't do this, Rick. I can't be this." She continues to tremble and he continues to hold her. He continues to rock. "Shh-sh-sh. Breathe with me, Kate. Just be here with me, right here, I'm right here. We can do this – just a few seconds at a time."

They're like this for much longer than a few seconds. Her trembling starts and then stalls in cycles. He continues to hold her. Whatever it takes. More cooing and humming. Little kisses to the top of her head as he rocks. She seems to settle in a calm place and then it starts again. "I'm sorry, Castle, I'm so sorry." "Shhh. It's okay. Not your fault." Over and over. He's saying the same things, hoping it's enough. Hoping that he's really helping. Rocking and holding. Cooing and humming. The light fades a bit. She's been quiet for awhile now and still he continues to rock. Slowly. Slower. Slow.

And then they're both quiet.

"Rick, I think I need to get up. My foot has a cramp."

"Okay. Where-"

"I think I want to stretch out on the bed."

"You hungry?"

"Not really, you?"

"Maybe. Just a little."

"Time 's it?"

"I have no idea. Let's get you to the bed."

"I can go-"

"I'll tuck you in and go make us a snack. I'll wrap it so you can eat it now or later."

"'K... Castle?"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

She's already crawled in bed and is laying on her side with her back to him. He pulls the covers up over her shoulder. Her breathing's evened out. He stays beside her, stroking her hair. He'll make her something and put it in the office fridge.

She's sleeping now.