"You... are...an...ass" Tonks gasped struggling to regain her breath from the cross country apparition.

Harry shrugged "it could be worse. Believe me I know people all over the world, granted they may not know me in this world. I could have gotten you to take me to new zealand or China instead. Now come on let's go."

Growling Tonks got her self to her feet and walked out of the alleyway after Harry to see the busiest city she had ever seen.

Harry ignored her gaping and pulled a coin out of his pocket throwing it on the street. "Stop Chariot of Damnation" he yelled.

Tonks looked on in shock as a taxi made of smoke appeared in front of them. Harry opened the door and shoved Tonks in before following after her. "We need to get to Long Island and try to stay on the roads" he ordered.

"Ah the wanderer of the worlds, The Enchanter, master of the Hallows and all round jack ass as you say" a creepy old lady said before the cab sped off down the street.

"What is this cab?" Tonks asked shocked as they ended up on the sidewalk.

"Grey Sisters Taxi Service a lot more fun than the knight Bus" Harry grinned.

"Pah the Knight Bus is no way to travel all slow and boring" an old lady muttered.

"True but at least the driver can see" another lady replied.

"Shut up Agony" the driver growled.

"She can't see?" Tonks asked horrified.

"The three sisters only have one eye between them but relax they are good drivers and very wise."

"They just hit a dog" Tonks growled.

"Yes very wise" a sister said.

"We know many things" another replied.

"Like the streets of New York."

"The location of what you seek."
"The location of what you need."

"and the best bagel stand in all of New York."

Suddenly the cab stopped and Tonks crashed into the seat in front of her. "I think we're here" Harry said getting out and dragging Tonks with him.

"What the hell are we doing here anyway" Tonks growled.

"Well just over that hill where the three kids are fighting an army of monsters is a bunker I need to break into" Harry said calmly.

3

2

1

"FUCK"

Harry reached into his storage space and pulled out a sword handing it to Tonks. "Spells will only slow them down use this. And for the love of god try not to die" he said before drawing his gun and rushing forward.

Shooting with his right hand Harry drew several rocks from his pocket with his left hand and threw them at the monsters. As the rocks went flying the grew bigger and bigger until boulders crashed through the monster ranks.

"Get over the hill" Harry yelled to the kids. "You will be safe there."

the kids minus a twelve year old gothic looking girl with a shield and spear did as he said while that girl ran forward and engaged the monsters in combat.

"This is going to hurt" Harry muttered before tapping several runes on his arms. Instantly runes all over his body appeared glowing blood red. The pain was almost unbearable for Harry but he felt as his muscle density and his reflex's increased. He could move faster, react faster and kill faster.

He jumped over one monsters head and put a shot right through it. He grabbed two monsters and wrestled them to the ground before snapping their necks. He saw Tonks apparating everywhere effortlessly chopping off the monsters heads.

Harry heard a scream of pain as the young girl fell to the ground and got surrounded by the monsters. "Fucking hell" Harry muttered before he leaped over to where she was and started killing the monsters surrounding her. He shot them, punched them, snapped necks and utterly annihilated them. It was a blood bath, or it would be if the monsters didn't turn into gold dust.

Soon all of the monsters were dead and Harry, Tonks and the girl were safe. Deactivating his runes Harry staggered a step then passed out.

...

Harry woke up to find himself in a bed with Tonks sleeping on a chair next to him. Smirking Harry moved closer to her, put his mouth to her ear and yelled "WAKE UP!"

Jumping several feet into the air Tonks woke up. "Ass" she muttered when she saw Harry on the ground laughing.

"Sorry I couldn't resist" Harry laughed.

Tonks glared at him "mind telling me exactly what this place is?"

Harry got to his feet. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked. "It's a summer camp for Demi-Gods."

"Riiiiight. What is it really?"

"Your friend speaks the truth. This is indeed a summer camp for Demi-Gods though how a mortal knows that is beyond me" a centaur said as he walked in.

"Hey Chiron" Harry grinned. "I''m Harry and if you'll excuse me Tonks and I have some business to do."

"I'm afraid Lord Zeus wishes to talk with you before you leave" Chiron said. "Right this way." With that Chiron turned around and led the two outside.

"Lord Zeus?" Tonks asked in a whisper.

"King of the Greek Gods. A self important asshole" Harry replied.

"Seriously?"

"yeah."

They made their way outside and saw the gothic looking girl and a large man wearing a blue suit standing there. "Ah so these are the young heroes who saved my daughter" the man said imperiously.

Harry didn't even look at him as he turned and walked to the forest. "Wouldn't have needed to save her if you had acted like a proper father" he muttered.

"I beg your pardon?" the man asked blinking confused.

Harry ignored him "Tonks hurry up."

"Coming" Tonks yelled running after Harry.

A lightning bolt hit the ground in front of Harry and Tonks. "What did you say to me?" the man growled.

"I said that you are a terrible father" Harry replied back. "You may be king of the gods but you do not deserve the title of father and you disgust me."

Zeus let out a roar of anger and pulled his master bolt from it's sheath. With a quick flick of his wrist it went flying towards Harry and Tonks who tried to dodge. Unfortunately they moved too slow. Luckily they did not need to move as a wall of earth intercepted the lightning bolt.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that brother" a pale, thin man in a suit of souls said calmly.

"What are you doing here Hades" Zeus growled.

"I can not allow you to attack him. It will hurt my master if you do so" Hades said with a small smirk.

"Your master?" Zeus asked shocked. "I am your Lord and I am your master. Now MOVE!"

Hades frowned and suddenly Zeus was grabbed by several skeletons. "You may be the King of The Gods but I am the lord of the dead. I am your older brother. You are not stronger than me I have only allowed you to believe that little illusion of yours. Do not call yourself my master again brother" Hades snarled.

"Wh-what's happening?" Tonks asked. "Whose the pale guy?"

"That's Hades lord of the dead and I think we just caused a war between the gods" Harry whispered munching on popcorn.

"Should I be worried?" Tonks asked nervously.

Harry shrugged "you should be fine. Besides we have a bunker to rob now let's go."

"And just leave them like that?" Tonks asked gesturing to the two gods who were in an epic sword fight to the death.

"They'll be fine. Chances are Mr D will interrupt and they'll be drunk in an hour now let's go." Harry ordered.

"Fine" Tonks muttered following after Harry.

While walking to the bunker a thought popped up in Tonks's head. "Hey why do you have a sword anyway when you use a gun?"

"Huh?" Harry asked. "Oh right. That's Gryffindor's sword. He originally stole it from goblins who stole it from Hephaestus the blacksmith god. I figured if worst come to worst I could use it to bribe him. If we don't need to bribe Hephaestus you can have it if you want" Harry said flippantly walking up to a cliff face.

Tonks gaped. "You are just giving me Gryffindor's sword? Just like that?"

Harry shrugged "why not? It's not like I have any use for it. Now if you don't mind can you send an incendio to the cliff face?"

Tonks looked at Harry confused but did as he said, after all she just saw two gods fight each other, monsters turn into gold dust and had been offered Gryffindor's sword, oh and ridden in a cab with three ladies who only had one eye driving. How much weirder could the day get?

Instantly the cliff face lit up and a door appeared. Harry walked over and opened the door. "Thank god for that" he grinned "Hephaestus s way too antisocial."

Harry walked into the bunker with Tonks following him looking around. It was easily the size of wo football fields and filled with machinery and weapons of all sorts.

"Hmmm where is it where is it" Harry muttered to himself quietly wandering through aisles of machinery before he saw exactly what he needed. "Still can't believe there s only one Squirrel automaton is existence" he muttered grabbing the squirrel.


Bet you were expecting something cooler than a squirrel :P well let's face it squirrles are as cool s It gets so are sparrows I think its that S in the name but then again snakes are lame. hmmmmm oh well :)