Br o ke n Mi nd
Is it bad that I never made love?
She sits on the stone bench, knees pulled up to her chest, arms hugging her legs. Looking at everything, yet nothing at all, not really anyway, she wonders what she was thinking when she chose to leave with him that chilling night months ago.
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She knows the war is approaching. She could feel it pour out of him in waves. All the anger, anxiety, regret. She wonders if this time he'll take her with him. She wonders if she will even say yes.
Sakura's 90% sure that she's in love with him. And the scariest part? He probably loves her too.
Knowing this, she knows she'll leave with him if he would take her or if she would have to follow him to the ends of the Earth.
Yet that other 10% weighs her down. She wants to run before the time even comes. How easy would it be to not have to be held accountable? To not be a liability to anybody, or an asset even? Maybe she could discover her own path, the one she could have walked had she not been on team seven. Would that have been any better? Would her life be any more meaningful? Less?
She could deceive everyone and start anew. (No one would know you. No one could say a thing.) It would be hard at first but for a while she could pretend its okay that everything in the past never happened. (No matter where you go though, it will haunt you.) She thinks there is always the slim possibility that someone would give a damn and she'd be found. It's terrifying because if one day, you see one person (all it takes is one) and they look at you (Look at me.) and she could see them. They would sneer and exclaim, "Who the hell have you become?"
No one knows her. Not a thing about her. Ask Naruto if he knows her father's name. Ask Ino her favourite colour. It really is that simple, but not really, not at all. So yeah, they would be surprised to stumble upon what they'd find, and that person would know too much. She doesn't even want to think about how she would handle that kind of situation.
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You can never win.
Everyone has a past.
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She continues to sit there, slightly rocking herself forward and back. Looking at the man who owns her soul, yet not really (but he does, he does, he does-). At this point, the line between rape and consensual sex is too thin. It doesn't matter anymore. Not one bit. She is going to leave with him, because he chose her, and Naruto chose revenge. Running this through her mind, it almost makes sense until she realizes that being the only survivors from Konoha had major ramifications on all of them (yes, even Sasuke-kun. He survived two wars and a massacre, what can you say for yourself? Look at you.)
This is bigger than waking up to find Sasuke beside her, surprisingly fully clothed. It is not about the two of them anymore. It was never about them in the first place. The kindest man in the world who risked his life to save thousands, who pushed the limits of his existence to lend his chakra to those in need. To fight for complete strangers and friends alike with the same amount of passion. This is the man who talked Pein out of destroying Konoha.
At this point, she wished she had left before Sasuke could ask (?) her to come with him, she wouldn't have had to know about who would kill or be killed. She knows she would have been found and killed pretty quickly (maybe Sasuke-kun would have done it) and that would have been the best way to go. She can't handle this world. This broken, cruel, rotting Earth. It's funny that only now does the reality of the situation finally slap her in the face.
Naruto is going to destroy the world,
And all she can do is cry.
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A/N: So sorry that I haven't updated in forever! Next chapter will be packed with insanity, I just really like suspense.. I hope you like it! Please review and thank you to everyoneeeee who already has! Thanks =)
