Vocaloid POV: Miku Hatsune


8th Song - Cantarella


In the next year, around this time,

What kind of me will be here?

What kind of you will be here?


I felt like I was choking on a leash.

I wanted to breathe.

Running out in the brisk October night. Hollow's Eve. Children with their parents wandered in kawaii costumes. I walked past them, the tears stinging my eyes. I round a corner. I had no idea where I was going.

I wasn't allow to sing.

My mother wanted me to succeed her as an actress. But I can't act. I seem to pull through with the lessons. I'm so-so, but not enough to be distinguished in the field. I wanted to sing. That's all I wanted. That's what I still want.

My notebooks are filled with lyrics, and words of poetic fancy.

I love to dance, the movements come without thought, my mind spins as the melody pushes me with its invisible magic.

I wasn't allowed to dance.

The life of a musical artist called for a person to be placed on a pedestal. It meant for one to be analyzed. It wasn't a life meant for me. This is what she tells me. That is why it killed my father. The life of a musical artist killed him. The criticism. The paparazzi. The pressure of it all built and caused the suicide.

She's sheltered me, kept me from prying eyes. From news articles, from cameras, from online blogs and the mouths, conversations of people. I am an invisible child that grows under large sheltering wings. A guardian is placed by my side to make sure that my security,that my privacy is always protected.

But I want to sing.

But I want to dance.

Why can't I be happy, why can't I let this go?

I cry and the tears don't stop. Clutching my hands to my aching heart. I need to be happy and tear way this needless sadness. My mother is protecting me from the fate of my father. Why can't my heart accept this?

A sound distracts me. I look and see a man tumbled over his own feet. He laid there looking towards me. Eyes lucid and bright from the alcohol pumped into his body. In the darkness cerulean blue illuminates.

I walk over to him, and my eyes are taken in by the handsome features.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"...Why... are you... crying?"

I knelt next to him, the smell of alcohol was present over him.

"I can't sing," I hopelessly, I needlessly tell him.

"Don't cry... sing if you want to sing..." he says.

"But I can't..." I say, "I am not allowed to..." I whisper.

"So... sing even louder ... to break those boundaries... song... music is a gift, comes from the soul... and your soul.. needs to sing..."

My eyes widen and I start to smile.

"I want to make you a promise, okay?" he said.

"A promise?" I asked.

"Yes," he began, "A promise to stay at your side, and help you break those boundaries... I promise to make you sing..."

I cover my mouth, utterly taken back by the words of this random stranger. It made me so happy to hear them. I saw him smile back to me when he saw my reaction. A smile that reached in and grabbed a hold on my heart...

I've been thinking a lot. A lot about Kaito.

Two weeks have passed without being able to see him. I've sent him several texts. But eventually I stopped. I felt I was talking to the air.

Words refuse to flow from my pen into my notebooks.

I want to soak my consciousness in music.

Gakupo told me how he felt about me. He told me how older men think. How that moment of drunk stupor what just that.

A moment in drunken stupor.

My first love has died.

"Miiiiku?"

"Eh?" My mind snaps out of my thoughts to see Len waving his hand in front of my face.

"Are you okay?" he asks me.

Len, Rin and I are part of the Drama club here in the high school. It's a week before the Christmas holiday break and we are assigned to come up with a skit to perform for the Holiday Concert before New Years Eve. It's going to be held here in the school audition. The club will do three skits in general, each will be no longer than fifteen to thirty minutes.

"I'm fine," I say smiling, "I was just daydreaming again."

Len pouts, "You don't have to act like everything is okay, you know..." he adds.

"Oh..." I look at him and then my eyes soften, "Nothing really slips past you, huh?" I smile weakly, "But I do feel much better about it though..."

I could see his face light up, "Really?" he asks, "That's good," he cheesed.

"Come on you guys!" I hear Rin squeak, "Let's put some ideas on the table," she pressed, "The other two groups got something going on, but we've got nothing!"

It was true. Each of the three skits were split among three groups of students within the club. Our group consists of the bad lemons out of the entire club. Most of the members working with us were just painting their nails and reading magazines. The three of us are the only ones that were actually working the project.

"Okay," Len spoke up, "Let's think of it this way..." he began pulling out a notebook and turning to a blank page, "What are your favorite genres to work with? We can put it all together and a story for the skit will come out easier."

"That's a great idea Len!" Rin chimed, "There has to be romance," she piped, "It's universal!"

I giggled.

"Well," I began with a smile, "Okay, um, how about we incorporate music in some way?"

Len smiled, "Yeah, sounds good,"

I smiled back at him.

"What about you Len? Although I don't think I have to ask," Rin flashed her brother a devilish look.

Len started blushing, "Shut up, Rin!"

"What is it?" I asked feeling a bit lost. Often hanging out with them, I usually would feel like the third wheel. They both share so many inside jokes, comments and ticks that all of it combined would form their own language.

Rin smiled at me as she proceeded to explain.

"Len likes tragedies."

"There is nothing wrong with liking tragedies!" Len barked.

"His favorite kids movie is the Lion King because Mufasa died saving his son Simba," Rin started to giggle as I saw Len's face burn up in embarrassment, "He was all ballin' like a baby when Mufasa's all like 'Remember' in the clouds and stuff."

I was expecting Len to just burst out in anger, instead he tucked his chin up and gave his sister a very condescending look, "Rin... do you really wanna take it that way? I can tell Miku some pretty embarrassing stuff about you too..."

"Okay, okay..." Rin nervously laughed, "Point is, Len loves stories with sad or melancholy endings. It's a big plus if the protagonist dies in some sort of way.."

"The protagonist doesn't have to die!" he protested.

"BUT, I noticed that the stories you liked best are when the main character dies." Rin insisted.

"Really?" Len questioned more curiously.

"Yup!" She piped.

"So you must like Romeo and Juliet, right?" I say, "I know it's such an overused story, but it's my favorite." I added.

"I love Romeo and Juliet," he said with a bright smile. His light blue eyes lingered in mine for a moment as his smile softened.

He's gotten so much older. Especially during the summer... I remember when they moved into the large house across the street nine years ago. I was seven years old. One day I sent my kickball over the large iron fence. I somehow snuck inside and found myself in a garden of pale yellow roses.

I looked about and as I turned around a bush, the first thing a saw was a five year old boy holding on to my kickball. The most striking image from that memory was those sky blue eyes...

Rin cleared her throat. Both Len and I jolted in our seats.

"Okay," Rin snatched Len's notebook and started to scribble with her cutesy teddy bear pen.

"Hey!" Len barked.

Rin easily ignored him, "We have romance, tragedy, and music. It's the holiday season so, we're going to include angels in the concept somewhere," she said matter-of-factly.

"Angels, yes that's makes sense because they like to sing!" I piped.

"Well... that's not why I thought—but that too!" said Rin.

I sighed and hung my head.

Len just sat and looked like he was in deep thought.

"Spill it Len, it looks like you thinking of something good!" Rin sneered, her grin was starting to look like a Cheshire cat.

"Ah—no! It's nothing, just have some ideas so far..." he just gave Rin a look.

"Okay fine," she passed Len back his notebook. She returned his look with hers.

I just sigh as I look at my phone. It was getting late. I look around and noticed that most of the people from the club already left.

"We better wrap this up," I said. I notice that Len was scribbling away. He must have started some kind of idea for the story.

"Okay, sure!" Rin replied looking up to me, "You can go ahead and leave, we'll just stay here and work on this some more..."

"Are you sure?" I asked. I didn't want to leave them with the majority of the work. If there was anything I could do, I wanted to help with it.

"Nope, we're good," Len looked up at me from his writing, "Go ahead, it won't be that long anyway."

"Okay," I nodded, "Do you want to walk home with me today? I can wait for you guys," I asked.

"Well..." began Rin, "I actually wanted to go downtown and do some last minute Christmas shopping. You can join us, if you want." she chimed.

"I'll pass..." I sighed, "But have fun," I wave over to them as I left the clubroom.

I've been thinking a lot. A lot about Kaito.

Why couldn't he tell me the truth? Why couldn't he tell me the reason why he wanted to stop seeing me? If it was so called the "adult way" of doing so, why couldn't he tell me about it?

My heart isn't made of glass.

Yes, it hurts.

And it hurts even more, knowing that he couldn't say it to my face. Instead he just smiled at me. Acting like we'll see each other again one day. What a coward.

His scarf is sitting on my vanity desk in my bedroom...

I want to give it back to him.

In person.

After all, it doesn't belong to me.

As I walk down the empty halls of the school, I dig into my tote bag and pull out the ear plugs of my player and put it on. The sound of music flowed into my ears as I walked down the hallway. I closed my eyes and the music painted a scenery, opening my eyes, the halls were that of a luxurious European mansion.

I was wearing a long dark blue gown. I twirled around in circles letting the sound of fiddling violins fill my ears. Candle holders hung unlit on the walls as the colors from the stain glass windows cast the white walls in shades of wine.

In the mist of my dancing I see a person at the end of the hallway. A handsome man, hair of blue cerulean, with eyes of dark sapphire. He darkly smiles, his face well hidden in masquerade. A dark cape flows behind him, as his hand holds down the angular hat. I catch his intense stare and he begins to approach. His tall frame caused the long legs to sweep in wide strides.

The mask, the cape, it symbolized secrecy and mystery. I've grown to know Kaito from the few weeks we've spent together, but at the same time, he was the complete mystery that captivated me.

A Zorro clad in black.

He approaches me and I fall within his arms, I reach for his mask and he grabs my wrist. He places a single finger to his lips with his free hand. Irritated, I wrench my hand away and shove him against the wall.

He doesn't look surprised as I feel the penetrating gaze violate me. I slap him. I tried to hit him again. He grabs my arm. I struggle as his other hand reaches for my face.

Just then, left ear plug is wretched from my ear as I see Yamaha-san staring at me as if I have spring onions sprouting from my ears.

The illusion the music cast is gone. And I realize that I had actually involved another person in my daydreaming.

"What the hell?" He exclaimed, "Why did you just slap me?"

I back off and took out the other plug, turn off the player and put it way. "I am truly, truly sorry!" I cried bowing in front of him three times in succession, "I'm really sorry, Yamaha-san! Please forgive me!"

I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life. I wanted to shrivel up, disappear, anything. This was so embarrassing! Oh my god!

"It's alright, no need for all that," he said rubbing the back of his pink hair.

"I will just go now," I weakly piped. I turned and started walking down the hallway.

"Hey," he called, "Hey! Miku!"

I immediately turned around. I wasn't used to classmates calling me by my first name besides the twins. I see that he giving me an odd look.

"Do you imagine things when you listen to music?"

I look away as my finger scratches my cheek, "Eh... uh yeah. I kinda go off in my own world. Sorry about that."

"Tch, you already apologized." he scolded, "What song was that?" he asked as he approached me.

"Oh, it's nothing, I don't think you would like it." I replied feeling embarassed.

"Let me be the judge of that," he pressed.

I pull out my player and showed him. I let him him take it from my hand, and he started to scroll down to see what else I had. For some reason it felt like I was being stripped naked and stared at.

"Not bad, you got an interesting variety of music here... Oh you have this song? I like it too. It's actually my favorite band." Yamaha added.

"Really?" I chirped feeling relieved.

We both started walking out of the building together, chatting endlessly about music and songs. We reached outside of the school yard and had completely washed over the worries I had earlier.

"It's amazing how I've never got to know you even though we share the same homeroom for three years."

"Well, it doesn't surprise me," he blurted as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, "I don't talk to anybody and I usually sit at the back of the classroom. You sit in the front and have a whole bunch of girls sit around you. And that Teto chick has a habit of taking one of your pigtails and making braids out of it."

I blushed. Somehow I could imagine his nonchalant stare that would watch me during those homeroom mornings. It was more of a blush out of weird embarrassment, "Why don't you have friends?" I asked.

To this, he just shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll be your friend, Yamaha-san," I said. He was a friendly guy even though he looked a little gruff. And he was honest. Honest to a fault. It was better to be this way then smiley and kind and then turn out to be a total fraud in the end...

"Don't say it if it's out of pity. I don't need it," he blurted as he started walking off ahead.

I reached out for the hand hanging at his side and grabbed it, "No," I said in attempt to explain, "It's not out of pity, I want to be friends with you," I insisted.

He stopped and looked at the hand that held his. Then, he looked up to me.

It was such an awkward moment, I suddenly dropped the hold on his hand as if I've just burned my fingers.

He then raised his hand to scratched the back of his head, "I guess, if you're the one that wants to." I noticed that his face slightly reddened.

I smile, "Yup! I can introduce you to Rin and Len. They're good friends of mine," I added.

"I met them already," he said blankly as he started to walk again.

"Really? When?" I inquire as I paced up to keep up with his wide strides. He was incredibly tall.

"Some time ago. I met Rin. Her brother is a twin right, Len?"

"Yeah. They are both very close to each other," I sigh, "I wish I had a sibling."

He looked down over at me, "You don't have any?"

"No, I'm a single child," I look ahead in the road, "It gets lonely sometimes, but I learn to manage."

"Trust me, sometimes it's better to be like that... I have a sister, she's a pain in the ass..."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"Hey? Um, do you want to go to a record store tomorrow?" I asked. Since he wasn't used to having friends, I figured I could ask him out.

"Which one?" He asked. His hands were both stuffed in his pockets.

I think for a moment, "How about the one next to the coffee shop on fifth avenue?"

He kicks a rock on the sidewalk as he mulled over my question for that tiny moment.

"Alright," he said simply.

"Sounds great," I chimed. I skip ahead over cracks on the sidewalk, as the wind whipped up my hair, "Ugh, it's so cold isn't it?" I added as I turned around.

"Yeah, it's like this ever since it fuckin' snowed," he growled.

"Where do you live, Yahama-san?" I asked. I wanted to know because it was getting to part of the road where I usually split and take the path to the upscale neighborhood.

"Somewhere near downtown next to the middle school." He replied, "You?"

"I turn up right here," I pointed to the road to my right as we approach the corner.

"You live up in the nice parts, I guess..." he replied quite casually.

"Yeah," I replied putting my hands behind me while I wring my fingers. I usually get uncomfortable when it comes to talking about my wealth. I always wanted to be seen as the same as everybody, but often when I do that people would call me conceited, and two-face. It's just an awkward position to be in.

He pouted in thought and then spoke, "I've always wondered, are you related to the movie actress Hatsune Saki?"

I pondered on answering this truthfully or not. In the end I decided to risk it, "Yes... she's my mother. Do I look like her?"

"A little," he admitted, "But you act lot more like your father," He stepped off the curb to start crossing the street, "See ya around," he said just glancing back. His eyes glint with a sense of mischief.

I just grinned, "Sure!"

"And one more thing, don't call me Yahama-san... it's just Yuuma. I don't need all that," he said waving off his hand in disgust.

I couldn't help but laugh; he was so informal, "Ah, but it's Yahama like the pop idol Mizki Yahama, eh?" I say as a joke. Because I know people with that surname. It's pretty common around these parts.

"Yeah, that's why I hate it. That's my sister," he replied with a scowl.
The smile was immediately wiped off my face. Brother? There was never no mention that she ever had a brother. She even said herself on talk shows on how lonely it was sometimes to be a single child.

I liked her, I liked her music. When the topic of her music came up, he was so-so. I didn't hear hate or anything from his voice except for now. But her brother? He was sheltered, wasn't he? Hidden from it all, wasn't he? And he holds resentment for it? I wonder if that would be the reason, if it was so? But it's not safe to assume, I don't want to assume...

"Yuuma? Did you grow up with her?" I asked. I covered my mouth just as I said it. How rude. Like he would answer that question. It's personal.

His covered his face with his hand, "Ugh.. you know what? Forget I ever said it,"

I looked straight at him.

"Forget I said it, and that you asked me..." He turned around and crossed the street.

People expect perfections to grace the magazines and television screens. They watch cautiously for any blimps and any sign of weakness and ready themselves with anything to record with.

To tell.

To gossip.

To show off.

To use it to hide their own imperfections, or blow off money for another person's expense.

This desire, this sport, causes people of the limelight to develop double lives.

But there are people that suffer the price of that celebrity's double life. For the celebrity to achieve the peace of appearing perfect. For that peace, there is the one or some that hold on to the ugly face of that celebrity's life.

I wouldn't say that would be my position, but I have heard many stories from my mother. That's why I say, that in spite of everything, I am lucky.

But I have a feeling, he isn't so lucky.

END CHAPTER


Authors Notes


Few things really quick. I wanted to mention that "Cantarella" is my first vocaloid video. Therefore explaining why I am such huge Kaito fan. Next, I am introducing a new POV therefore a new main character to this story. It's SF-A2 Miki. I need her eyes to expand on the most controversial plot twists presented in this story. Her POV is the next chapter.

Lastly. I originally didn't want to include Gumi because for some reason, I can't pin Gumi's personality enough to write in a story. But as I'm planning this story I'm reaching out for more vocaloids to fill scenes. So, please if you can, and happen to know Gumi well enough, explain her to me in a review. Is she cutesy, or spunky? Tomboyish or just a flirty girl with boyish charm? Is she weird or just spontaneous? I'm pretty much at a loss.. I looked up things on the internet but I don't get enough info there was one point that I read a description that just said, "Gumi is just... Gumi"

What does that mean? Arghh! *headdesks*


Chapter 9 Preview


Piko is a person with two identities; One is of a tender compassionate boy and the other, a destructive self-centered person. But this wasn't always the case...