.

Please Turn Around

Christian...

.

As the car sweeps around the drive and the bright headlights scan across the house, my eyes lock on to the slight movement I see in Teddy's room. I feel my warm smile and my heart beat pick up in realization that Ana must still be tending to him and not already in bed.

With a grin on my face and a bounce to my step, I rush up the stairs taking two at a time. Sneaking into Teddy's room, I'm floored by a wave of disappoint as I find it empty, bar my soundly sleeping son. I instinctively head over to him and sit down gently on the side of his small bed.

I gape in awe at him as always, while brushing my fingers tenderly across his brow. I stare at him for a good ten minutes taking in ever detail of him, looking for things I could have missed over the past few days. He grows so quickly, I hate to miss anything. I place a kiss on his warm rosy cheek and wish him good night, before slipping quietly out of his room.

I quietly open our bedroom door a few inches and my shoulders slump at the sight of Ana. She's curled up into a tight ball, fast asleep, on her side of the bed. My heart constricts painfully at the sight of her under the moons steely glow.

Studying her face closely, I notice she looks so tired and worn out, she appears so small and fragile all alone in our big bed. The skin of her under eye houses dark shadows and worry etches her brow deeply, even in sleep. She obviously needs her rest and has something troubling her, so I will distract myself in my office for a while to let her sleep and well, the more I do now, the less I have to do during the rest of the week, and the sooner our weekend together can begin.

Closing the bedroom door silently I head downstairs to my office. No matter how much I miss my wife, her health and well being are far more important to me and with a small child and busy schedule, she must rest while she can, unlike me, who can survive on four hours sleep, so once again I'll let work consume me and over ride the selfish urge I have to wake her.

Once my yawning becomes persistent and the words start to blur on my computer screen, I know that it's time for bed. Grabbing all of my things, I switch everything off and head quietly back up the stairs. I drop my bag out side of Teddy's room and creep in once again. As my feet take me to him, my proud smile grows.

My beautiful boy, he looks so much like his mom when he's sleeping, and I'm mesmerized by the little creation I had a part in making. I lose myself for a few minutes in the joy and comfort of being close to my son, before pulling his kicked off covers back over him to tuck him in. I then kiss his brow tenderly before slipping out of the room. I need to get to bed, I need to be close to my wife.

Once in the bedroom I head straight into the closet, dropping my gym bag for Gail to sort out tomorrow, I quickly grab night wear and hurry to the bathroom. After a quick change I eagerly head to bed, virtually skipping across the room as I go.

I climb into my side of the bed and can't help but shiver at the feel of how cold the sheets are. Pulling Ana instantly into my arms, I cling to her rigid form as I melt and mold myself around her. I bask in the warmth of her in my arms as she spoons close to my chest, and as her body heat penetrates every part of me, I sigh heavily and fall into her completely.

Burrowing my face into my wife's sweet smelling hair, I inhale deeply while running my nose slowly up the side of her neck to her ear. My eyes roll closed at the sweet, sweet smell of home.

I sweep Ana's hair out of the way and softly start kissing the nape of her neck. A deep satisfactory moan leaves my lips at the comfort I instantly feel, it's brought on by the sound of my wife softly mewling beneath me. Nothing compares to this.

I realize shamefully... That I'm wasting my valuable time, with Jessica Lowell.

I'm acting like such a fucking fool, what on earth was I thinking? Risking all of this by kissing Jess. It would break Ana's heart if she knew what I'd done... I've cheated on her.

I finally admit it to myself and I'm flooded with guilt and remorse. Apart of me shrivels up an dies of shame, as another grows stronger, determined to make this right.

Ana is Ana.

Unique.

Perfect.

I couldn't replace her, or recapture this feeling with anyone else in any way, shape or form... Ever.

Why would I ever think I could? Why would I even want to? I have her in my life, she is my life and missing her desperately is no excuse for what I've done.

It's not possible with Jess, or anybody else for that matter, to have anything more from me. I could never be in this position with anybody else. Emotionally, on some level, I liked spending time with Jess, we made a connection because of her resemblance to this goddess that I miss in my arms, but it could never be more than that or get overly physical.

Jess herself is an entirely different personality all together, she has her own way of thinking and physically, besides her face, she smells and feels so different, her shape and demeanor is entirely wrong... Just as any other woman would be.

So why did I waste my time pretending, indulging in a watery fix? Why didn't I just go over to Ana every chance I had and drag her by the hair to lunch with? because I didn't want to appear as controlling, Ana hates that. Ana likes to have her freedom, we compromised, her work hours and time with kate are hers, our time is at home. I just haven't been there.

All of this selfish and foolish behavior is despicable, and only goes to prove just what type of insecure man I really am, how shallow do I have to be, to have the need to entertain Jess? How desperate of a man am I, when I drive myself to distraction.

The thought of losing this woman in my arms is heart stopping, soul destroying, my ultimate worst nightmare and a thought I never want to contemplate seriously, but I'm risking her and her love, by even considering to indulge in my pathetic need of keeping hold of her through the illusion of Jess, all for fear of losing her.

I will not be indulging with Jess Lowell again.

No one could touch my heart like Ana does. No one could take over my life like Ana did. No one could feel the way Ana does under my hands, and in clarification my hands start to roam over her soft warm flesh. I kiss Ana more ardently on her neck and jaw as she leans back into me.

"I missed you so much, baby" I breath truthfully, against her warm skin.

I snuggle in and smile, as my mauling hands cause my wife to finally relax under my touch. I know she must be angry with me, she's tired, it's late and only to be expected. She needs her rest, but selfishly, I need her... More.

"Did you really?" she utters, her voice still rough with sleep.

"Every single second" I breath into the shell of her ear, and I can't help but chuckle softly as I feel her body shiver. Running kisses across her cheek, I place my hand on her hip and roll her to face me.

As my eyes lock with Ana's I know I'm finally where I belong... I'm home.

As I snuggle in pulling her close and kissing anywhere I can. I whisper my apology's and promise to make my constant absence and everything else up to her. As I fall into worshiping the true vision that is my wife, I revel as she yields and responds to my every kiss, tease and caress. I smile and nuzzle against her perfect soft breasts as I peel away her night gown, content in the realization that she has missed me too... She needs me too.

As her hands maul and caress me in return, I lose myself completely in her. The ache and yearning I have burning inside of me constantly, is finally sated under the loving hands of my wife.

I can't replicate or attempt to replace this. I don't need too, Ana is right here with me, where she will always be. She is in my heart as I am in hers... I feel it.

No matter how close Jess is to looking like Ana, she just isn't her and no amount of practice could ever change that. I have to prompt everything with Jess, it's scripted and controlled. I don't want that.

At home with Ana it's more than that, we have a life together, a son together. A future. It isn't just about sex. Yes, sex is important to me, but that's my way of showing her how much she is a part of me and how I can remain forever close to her.

With Ana, our days may be busy and pull us apart constantly, but she has my soul and I have hers. I need to take strength and comfort from that and believe in the fact that I won't lose her, even if I'm not always close to her. At night I can be close to her, I can make up for everything then. So my foolish fear of her drifting away is unwarranted, and my fear alone, and far to dangerous to allow to fester and continue. I need to sort this.

I've never had a girlfriend before, never mind a wife. John is always pointing out, that emotionally, I still need to evolve and develop. He's right. I was floored when I met Jess, her striking familiarity stirred up comforting feelings. Feelings Ana had made me comfortable with. I foolishly didn't see the harm in responding to Jess. It felt comfortable lunching and dining with her, even kissing her felt easy, but it was wrong, very wrong. I need to talk this through with John, this irrational thinking and unwarranted fear has to be stopped. I won't fuck this up, I won't lose her. I won't.

I need to feel my wife, I need to touch tease and taste her and please her the best way I can. I feel as if I've been starved of her for months, when in fact it's only been two days. My hands run over her soft feminine curves and I feel her bend and bow at my touch as we get totally lost in each other. Perfectly fitting together.

God, I miss this.

Her reaction to me only fuels me more and I make sure I please her again and again. Worshiping her body and soul, making up for every bit of lost time and helping to dismiss all the times we have missed each other.

After worshiping every inch of my beautiful wife and bringing us both to orgasm, I wrap her tightly in my arms, nestle into her warm neck and fall fast asleep, feeling content and as sated as she is.

.

I wake up warm and well rested, my body wrapped perfectly around Ana. Images of making love to her on the boat this weekend, have been bouncing around in my head for the last few hours in warm vivid dreams, putting a smile on my lips no doubt. As I stretch my arms out and pull Ana closer, I realize that there is no where else on earth I would ever want to be. I need to touch my wife, feel our connection before I'm lost to work again for the next fifteen or more hours.

I roll Ana on to her side as I rest up on to one elbow, lazily looking down at my sleeping wife my heart pounds as I sweep her hair clear from her face. She's so beautiful, even flushed and mused up from sleep, she still takes my breath away. I want to make love to her before I have to leave her. I need too.

I lay back down and nuzzle into Ana's neck trailing open mouthed kisses up to her temple, but Ana is not a morning person.

After a few rebuffed attempts and swatted away hands, I know that it's best just to leave her be. My baby is more of a night owl, than a lark.

I reluctantly roll away from her with a chuckle as Ana buries her self back to sleep in the thick comforter, mumbling about how early it is.

After a quick shower and dressing quickly I head back into the bedroom. Ana is still buried deep in the bed clinging tightly to every last second of sleep. I pull down the blanket and place a kiss on her warm cheek hoping for a way in, but she quickly pulls up the covers and cocoons herself once again so I can't disturb her. I place a kiss on the top of her head, the only exposed bit of her I can find, and whisper a loving 'Goodbye' into her hair before I head out to begin my day.

I huff despondently, feeling totally gutted that Ana is still sleeping and we don't even get to share breakfast together. I want to run back upstairs, ripping my clothes off as I go and just spend the day lost in bed with her. I still need to self-repent for being so consumed with my own foolish needs.

She was cold when I climbed into bed last night, and the temperature of the sheets had nothing to do with it. She was angry with me for being absent so much, she hasn't said anything but I can feel it.

I know she misses me, last night proved it to me, I felt her need for me in every touch, kiss and subtle moan that left her. She was just as consumed and lost as I was, she proved herself just like I did, but I know my not being here upsets her, as it does me.

I head down the stairs and into the kitchen on slow heavy feet, and as I enter the room, Gail Jumps to attention and starts to busy herself plating up food but I stop her as I grab a croissant and an apple to eat on the way.

My mood lifts and I smile widely when I notice Teddy is already up and sat in his booster chair, he is eagerly tucking into his breakfast and I treasure the few minutes we can have together. I help him with his breakfast, not caring that I now have mushed up toast residue all over my lapel. After kissing his brow I turn and meet Gail's worried eyes.

"Gail... Ana is still resting, please tell her that I'm sorry I have to work late this evening, tell her I love her" my cheeks flush as she nods and takes over with Teddy.

"I will Mr Grey" Gail replies softly.

She rubs my arm gently before helping Teddy from his chair, and I see the compassion in her eyes. She knows how many times Ana and Teddy have been alone lately, she must feel her sadness and resentment just as I do.

"Taylor we're ready to go" I state, before the urge to stay wins out.

I have to get to the office, no matter how much I don't want to. I missed a lot yesterday despite working, so I know that it's going to be a late night. Again. It will be all week, in order for me to get things sorted before this weekend.

I need this up and coming time to be free from distractions, and interruptions, so I will put in the hours, close this deal and finally be able to dedicate my time fully to my wife and son. They mean the world to me, I can't believe I even entertained the distraction that is Jess Lowell. My time and life need to be dedicated to my wife and son, and come Friday, it will be.

.

A/N.

Thanks for reading.x