Chapter 8: Appreciate

"Edward, what is it? Tell us, we need to know, please? Edward?" Esme tried to pry an answer out of her son, but I hardly listened to them. I was busy trying to de-bunk the situation myself, my eyes still staring out the window, wondering what could've been said that set him off.

"Rose?" someone turned to my aunt, but I didn't turn to see who it was. I was still frozen with my thoughts. "Who was that on the phone? Who wanted to speak with Jacob?"

"Some bloodline to the mutt." She sneered.

"Rosalie, this is no time to insult them! Now, was it a wolf?" Esme scolded.

"No, it was female, young, twenties maybe." She described with a huff.

"One of his sisters?" Bella suggested. "He hasn't spoken to Rebecca in a while, but perhaps Rachel?"

"Yes," Edward finally found his voice and spoke for the first time, deciding to fill us in now. "Yes it was Rachel. She had bad news, and….I think that Jake's going to have a hard time coping," He paused. "Rachel's call was urgent; Billy passed away last night."

My head snapped up from the words. What?

"Oh, my God. From what?" Bella sounded pained, like it hurt her almost as bad. I imagine that it would. He was a part of her childhood as well, even though it wasn't so much childhood as it was adolescence.

Dad shook his head slowly. "They don't know the cause of death yet."

I looked to the threshold of the door way. As if on cue, Esme said, "We should go find Jacob. We're not his family, but that doesn't mean that we love him any less."

Heaving a sigh, Edward nodded. "Lets go."

I turned my full body to the door, ready to go. "Renesmee, no. Stay."

I was confused. "But you just said-"

I know, but you have a guest," he used as an excuse. I knew that the real reason was because he just didn't want me to go.

"Actually, you know, that's fine. I should really be getting home anyway. Thank you for having me over, and I hope you find Jacob." She gave a quick grin to me as she passed to leave.

No one spoke until we heard her car drive away. "You're still not going." My dad said.

"But-"

"Think about it this way," he interrupted. "If everyone goes, then how will we know if he comes back and there's nobody here to confirm it?"

I mulled it over for a second. "Fine. But I won't be the only one to stay here, though. That wouldn't be fair."

"Esme and I will stay with you," Carlisle reassured.

"Me too," Rosalie added. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her.

The rest left and the rest of us anxiously waited. Carlisle and Esme chatted in the kitchen while Rosalie flipped through the TV channels. I worriedly paced at the bottom of the stairway. Sooner or later I knew that it would hit me that Jacob's dad, who had practically been like a second father to me, was gone. I procrastinated the feeling, and decided to cross that bridge when I got there. I felt wetness pooling in my eyes. I blinked them to regain my vision, only to have it blurred again. I could feel someone's gaze on me, but ignored it, finally deciding to march upstairs, walking aimlessly.

I passed my room and came to Jacob's. The door was wide open and I ducked my head in. The room was black, but I could still make out the outlines of his bed, dresser, window, basically the works, right down to a Nike shoe that lie under the window. But something caught my eye sticking out from under Jacob's too small [for him] bed, cream against mahogany flooring, making out to white against black in the darkness.

I stepped in, softly closing the door behind me. A sliver of moonlight was thrown across the bed, so I quickly grabbed the item and set it under the light. His baby book. Jacob was all that was on the cover, no middle or last names, no dates, just his name, but the one word feeling so much more significant than anything else could. I opened the thick scrapbook. The first page had two images; one of his ultrasound when his mom, Sarah, was still pregnant with him. The other was of a little blue and green blanketed bundle, held by Sarah Black and a much younger looking Billy. My eyes barely skimmed over Billy, still pushing the emotions to the side, knowing that they'd only hit me harder later. At the bottom of the page was transcripted: Jacob William Black, born January 14, 1990.

The next few pages were of baby Jake and various family and friends holding him. One was of him in his baby carrier with Rachel and Rebecca smiling excitedly on either side of him, proud to finally have a baby brother. I kept flipping through, giggling when I came to one of his second birthday with him sitting in an ABCs patterned highchair with his palm pressed to his mouth, vanilla cake smeared across his tanned skin. I found it hilarious to see that his hunger issues went that far back. (A/N: Yes, why not have a little dry humor?) Then came the many pictures of first days of school, birthday parties, holidays, trips to the beach, you name it. I noticed that he was tall for his age, even before the werewolf genes kicked in. There was a picture of a thirteen year old Jacob and Quil standing on First Beach, James Island notable in the background. A slight grin flashed across my face when I realized, at that point, he looked a little like the kid from The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, but only with his hair just past his ears at that point. But I also smiled because this was the first picture that I saw a Jacob more similar to the one I know. His smile was as big and bright as ever, and his eyes held an immortally young, but wise knowledge, showing just enough of his personality to make you want to jump right into the image and wrap your arms around him and give him a big hug. I continued to turn each page with care, not wanting to tear anything. I yawned.

In my dream, Jacob and I were at First Beach in La Push, Washington's summer sun beating down on our skin; mine faintly glowing, but not enough for humans to see. Jake wore nothing but his usual denim cut offs, while I was in a pair of Daisy Dukes and a pink and orange plaid bikini that I'd never seen in my life, but I didn't care, for all of my worries melted away with the sun's heat….and Jacob's, who scooped me up, off the shore, and hauled me into the water.

"Jake!" I squealed, shoving against his shoulder.

He chuckled in my ear. "I won't let anything happen to you. Trust me."

"Nothing but getting wet head to toe." I said, still alarmed.

"You'll be fine. You're as warm as I am." He laughed again.

"Yes, I am, meaning that it's just as cold to me as it is to you. The warmer we are, the colder that the water seems to be." I pointed, reluctant to go in. He lowered me a bit, so that my feet dipped into the calm ocean. Just as I thought. Icy cold. "Jacob." I warned.

He planted a bold kiss on my cheek and threw me lightly out from him. It would've gone a lot smoother on his part if I hadn't hooked my index finger thorough his belt loop, pulling him under with me. We both came up glistening with water, my skin nearly prickled as it got used to the colder temperature.

"You're good," Jacob admitted, snaring his arm around my waist, pulling me against his chest.

"I obviously learned from somewhere….maybe it was Seth," I suggested bringing my face closer to his. I heard the slightest of growls in his chest at the sound of his pack brother's name, but it disappeared just before my lips were crushing his. His left hand moved to the bare small of my back, while the other laced itself into my hair. It was the perfect distraction from everything in the world. From my family, the Volturi, but, most importantly, life.

I felt him fading. His hands released me, and he pulled away. Everything started to go black when I felt a warmth on my fingers. I looked at my hands. There was nothing there.

"Renesmee!" Something grabbed at my shoulders. My eyes flew open in shock. I was still in Jacob's room. I was curled in a ball in his bed, his baby book now moved to his pillow, which was where my feet rested. I finally noticed the large, black figure sitting on the edge of the bed.

At vampire speed, I sat up and threw my arms around his neck. "Jake! I'm so sorry!" I felt my eyes brimming with salt water.

Strong arms embraced me immediately. He started sobbing right away. He was silent for a few minutes before finally calming down. "I love you," he whispered, his lips at my ear. He then kissed my temple. I looked at his face. Even in the dark, I could tell that he'd been crying, just because of how worn out his eyes looked.

I reached up to his cheek to wipe away a stray tear. "I love you too."

His palm caressed my face. "Thank you,"

"For?" I was kind of confused by the phrase in this situation.

He just shook his head and tipped my face up to his. He kissed me in an almost timid way, until his emotions took over and his lips crushed mine with full force. His hand on my face moved to the back of my neck to secure me into place (as if I would go anywhere) while he placed his other hand on my hip. I felt tears on his face, more coming with each kiss, and I noticed that I was the same way. The salt water mingled where our skin touched and then dripped down.

I hadn't realized just how much that Billy had meant to me. When I needed Jacob, who would often be busy in La Push, Billy kept me company. When Charlie couldn't come to my birthday party when I was little, he stood in for him, claiming that Charlie gave his best regards, and wished me a happy birthday.

And to think that what I felt was minor, as opposed to Jacob, who was raised by the man. If it weren't for him, Jake wouldn't even be here. I wouldn't have met him, or ever gotten to know him, or fall in love with him. If something were to ever happen to my dad, I'd go insane, along with everyone else. I hadn't really ever thought about it either, not to real great lengths, anyway.

I was pulled from my reverie when I felt my back against the memory foam that Esme had put on Jake's bed. I felt myself sinking into it while Jacob hovered over me. His chest was pressed to mine, but I felt none of his weight. (A/N: That little bit was kind of inspired by Eclipse. Ha ha.) My fingers weaved into his thick, black hair, wild from running. Our lips moved in synchronization for a little while longer, before Jake rolled onto his side, and tried to even out his breathing. I'd been trying to do the same for the past two minutes, but had been a little bit busy.

A hand rested on my arm for a second. I looked to Jacob, kissed his bronze cheek lightly, and started to sit up, about to leave. There was a tug on my wrist, halting me. I looked back.

His grip didn't loosen. "Don't leave me," it sounded like a plead. His voice broke on the last word, causing my heart to do the same. He only seemed more hurt by the thought.

I laid back down. "Never."

He kissed my forehead, and then draped his arm around my waist, his body curling around my backside.

I love you, don't forget it. I thought, placing my palm to his arm.

"I love you too," he whispered into my hair, his voice sounding sleepy, but managing to keep the emotion in it, and I could tell that he truly meant it, more now than ever.

The week passed slowly, with Jacob missing the entire week of school. And as if my birthday wasn't depressing enough with it being the nine-eleven anniversary, everyone showed false excitement, no matter how well they knew Billy or not. But the one who went insane that day was Jacob. He was ecstatic for the celebration of my birth, but still grieving over his father's death. His eyes still showed pain, but he was so enthusiastic and energetic, I swore that he would soon split in half.

The funeral was surprisingly quiet, considering that it was a funeral. Jake and I'd flown out to La Push, leaving a relieved Alice to plan a postponed birthday party that I didn't even want. Hardly any weeping, just a bunch of stone cold faces, masked from showing any emotion. There were the occasional cry of a baby -especially out of Rachel and Paul's new little boy, Tyson - and a sob here and there, but it was just so bizarre.

Most of the young kids didn't know what was going on, so they thought that it was just a big, dark themed, family get together. Myah and Brody were overjoyed to see their uncle, Myah claiming to miss him "this much" gesturing with their hands as they said it together. Claire was the only one old enough to really understand the situation. She sat with Emily, her mom on the other side of her, Quil playing watchdog in the pew behind her.

We found out that in Billy's will, Jacob got the little read house, and multiple things in it. A lot of the little things went to the twins, but a lot of the things that made up a home were left for Jake. We hadn't made it that far into the house, and were standing in what was now Jacob's kitchen, gazing about the area, Jacob telling me about some things that happened in certain areas of the house.

"…And he knocked his mug over, and spilt hot coffee all over the home phone. I swear, it was destroyed." Jacob chuckled, his arms on either side of me as I leaned against the counter. I was glad to see Jacob laughing about something now, and finally accepting the situation.

I stared at his face. His lips were stretched into a smile, still reminiscing, but his eyes were strained. He caught me staring, turning his face from the table and to me. "What?"

I shook my head. "Are you okay?" I murmured.

His features changed. It was as if he forgot about reality for a moment, but I knew that that wasn't true from the words that left his lips. "He was my father. I loved him. He raised me, taught me everything I know, hell, who knows where I'd have ended up if it weren't for him, I never even knew my mom….." he shook his head for a second, looking down for a second, then started again. "I used to call him 'Daddy' when I was little. I won't ever not love him, and there's no changing that. But I knew that it was coming. If not today or a year from today, or even ten years from now, that doesn't change the fact that he was human, and it was coming. I just have to accept that. I'll be fine. I am fine. Don't worry about me."

"Jacob, I can't just not worry about you. I love you, and even if everything's perfect, and all of our problems in life are gone, I'll still worry. I just don't want you hurting." I nearly whispered, gazing into his black eyes, which stared intently on my face.

"Renesmee, I told you. It was coming. I miss him. There's no way around that. But there's no way to change it either, and I would, given the chance, but I can't. But it's only made me realize that I need to appreciate things more. It's like my vision's been magnified by a hundred-which is saying something for the werewolf vision. And now I do appreciate. I appreciate the Cullen's for giving me a home, and a family to fall back on. I appreciate my real family, and give my pack the credit that they deserve. But most importantly, I appreciate you. You're my world," he placed my hand on his heart, as if I didn't hear his steady pulse already. "Feel that? Every beat is for you, and only you. I know that it's sappy, and cheesy, but not only you are my world, but I want to give you the world. It's like my own little galaxy where you're the star that all of the planets revolve around, only secondary to making you happy. You need to see that. If I've lost you, only then have I lost everything. So I'm holding on tight, and not letting go. I'm only okay if you're here." He cut off as if he could still go on, but decided that he was babbling.

I touched his cheek. "Then you're not losing anything, because I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you," he whispered, then tilted my chin up and brushed my lips softly. He pulled back, then wrapping his strong arms around my small body in a vise tight hug.

"Do you mind if I change quick?" I pulled back, gesturing to my black dress that ended just below the knees and empire waist with black pumps. He nodded and let me pass to get to the bathroom, grabbing my bag on the way.

Once in, I unzipped the dress, slipping it off with ease. I grabbed my white Harley Davidson T-shirt that Jacob insisted that I get a few months back, and threw it over my head. I was pulling on some jeans from Maurice's when I heard a slight vibration in the walls, followed by a distinct, "Dammit!"

I hurried along, and rushed out to see what the problem was.

A/N: Hey guys! I am SOOOOOO sorry that I haven't updated in a while, I've been busy, and kind of procrastinating writing because I didn't quite know how to piece it together, so I hope that I got it right, and more importantly, I hope that you'll forgive me! Thank you guys, I love you, you're awesome. Speaking of awesome, big thank you to Cassia4u, Capt. Hazard, MyAwesomenessIsAwesome, AmyClaireCullen, and Shadow12 for their reviews on chapter 7! Also, thank you for the tip, Shadow12, I'd always wondered if I went overboard with that, thank you, I will remember that next time! :)

Please review, and always feel free to PM me!

Y'all should check out Cassia4u's Harry Potter fanfic, Love Changes You: the Eagle and the Snake. She's so talented, and I think that you'd agree!