Meeting: Seven. Spring Semester. Time: 10:15. Date: 02 July 2011.
Councilor: Jouji Higashikawa
"Ah, Kyon! Good to see you."
"Hi."
"Hi. So! Gotta say, Kyon, I'm a little concerned about these grades recently. Not that, you know--well, I guess I can't say that. Or, well . . . Can I be honest with you, Kyon? I mean, really honest?"
". . . Sure."
"Great. So, totally honest here: I like you, Kyon. You're a good kid. Smart kid. But, these grades . . . I'm just not seeing it, do you understand what I mean?"
"Sure."
"I mean . . ." [ruffling of pages] "Like this essay. Now, literature's usually your best subject and the ideas are good but the organization, it's . . . it's messy. Awkward."
[scratch of chair]
"Now, be honest, but: is there something going on? At all? At home--or with friends?"
". . . No. I've just been a little busy."
"Busy? With the, uh, SOS . . . clu-brigade! That's the word, brigade."
"Yeah. We're working on something so . . ."
" . . . Are you sure, Kyon?"
"Yeah."
"Because according to Miss Suzumiya . . ."
". . ."
"You know, Kyon, I think I understand your problem. You're not a studier. You think, think, think, all day long, you know? But you're never thinking about the right thing. Where do you study?"
" . . . Well . . ."
" . . . Okay, sorry. That was my fault. I mean, I just said you weren't a studier. Okay, so one? Study. Try someplace quiet. You have siblings?"
"A little sister."
"Well, that takes out your room. Libraries are good; a little stuffy. You know, there's this park right near, absolutely gorgeous. Ishiya, I think it is. It's really a lovely place, to stop and think, you know? Not too loud, often not busy at all. And it's got the most beautiful bridge you've ever seen. Really nice, and that's what you need, Kyon. Place to sort yourself out. Now, have you thought at all about what I said? Last time, I mean."
"Yeah."
"I know it's hard, everyone trying for universities and all, but with your grades, it's definitely something worth considering. It's not bad, you know. Just working."
"I've thought about it before, actually."
"Oh really? Huh. I mean, not that I'm surprised, but well. You just seem, you know. Kinda easy-going. Not many kids think at all about life after high school until they're almost out the door, you know? That you--well, I guess I can't say tha . . . Oh, fu--fudge. I swore I filled that tape--"
[End of Tape 14, Side B. Turn to Tape 15, Side A]
Eight
"Be Extremely Subtle (Or Make a Big Fuss)"
"Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate."
Sun Tzu
Something about the sound of the elevator doors clashing together that brought the reality of the situation to a sickening level of clarity. Not that they were particularly loud--it just felt very final, with that little bell going off as if to say, "No turning back now". No, Koizumi and I were going to our fate, whatever that fate just so happened to be, and there was nothing else that could be done.
Which, surprisingly, was actually pretty okay by me. I mean, by this point, it was a little hard to be freaked out by the possibility of death. I'd already had more guns pointed at me the last couple of days than most people would in their entire lifetimes, and the instant terror response wasn't coming as easily as it used to. It's truly like they say--human beings can get used to anything given enough exposure. As if I weren't already living proof of this after high school.
That said, there was still one thing creeping along my spine like a caterpillar on the branch, just bothersome enough to make me ask:
"Do you really have to do that?"
Koizumi turned, still smiling away in that eerily Ken doll-like way. "What?"
Did he really not see the problem? I sighed, but let it go: "Never mind."
Maybe he really didn't see it. Maybe after years of putting on that smile, it had turned into a defense mechanism so utterly natural he didn't notice it at all. Of course, considering how it only seemed to crop up in full force now after a few false starts, I had to wonder what had changed. Because, to me, it didn't seem like defense against fear; or at least, not totally. After all, that wasn't what a mask was for. People used masks to hide.
So what was he hiding?
Unfortunately, now was not really the time to try and figure that out, as the doors of the elevator slid open with another ding.
Sinking my hands into my pockets, I sighed again and said, "Here goes nothing, I guess."
"Dramatic words," Koizumi remarked with that same polite and plastic tone.
More like stupid words, but whatever. I deserved an action movie cliche. They rarely made sense and really only sounded cool because they hearkened back to the classic muscle heads in wife beaters, but when you have the chance to utter one and not look like a fool, I dare you to find a man who wouldn't take the chance.
We stepped out and heard a soft but definite click of a gun.
"About time" said a voice I recognized as Tenjou's. Sure enough, I turned my head to see her familiar face decorated with a grim smile. I think the phrase (equally cliched, but equally well timed, so I couldn't count it against her) was meant to inspire fear, but her trigger finger shook, betraying her anxiety. I didn't doubt that she would probably love to shoot us both down, but that wasn't an option. At least for now, her orders were to keep us alive.
I wasn't about to test how far that extended though, and when she barked out an order to move, Koizumi and I quickly did, stepping outside into a downpour much like the one that on the day of the false reunion. Their forces had split down the middle, leaving us a direct path to Tsuruya, who sat some distance away under an umbrella as peacefully as a geisha in a painting. She paid no attention to us, instead devoting all her attention to . . .
A doberman? The same one Koizumi and I saw yesterday? I couldn't tell from this distance but it made sense; no wonder he told me to run. He must have recognized the dog. Actually, come to think of it, Koizumi probably recognized everyone here. He was at least trying his best not to look anyone in the eye. Some of them were probably just colleagues, of course, but how many were his friends? How many would hesitate, even for a second, if this whole peace talk went spiraling down the toilet like bad sushi?
Ah, but like I said--not the time. Right now I had to focus on what was directly in front of me: the very short haired, very somber face of a girl I once knew as Miss Tsuruya.
"Guess you're not going to call me what you used to, huh, Kyon?"
Very intuitive. "It's hard to show respect for someone who's been planning to ruin my life for the past five years."
She shooed the dog away, apparently now ready to shift her entire attention on to me. "Aw, come on, Kyon!" she said simply, scratching at the back of her head with one hand. "It wasn't my plan. In lots of ways, I'm really just the messenger."
"You helped," I pointed out.
"Nope."
"What? You--"
She raised a finger, silencing me. "I'm here now, but only 'cause I was asked. I don't really want anything to do with this. It's just my family's business. Between you and me, it's like I said: I actually like you guys together. It's megas cute," she added with a twinkle, relishing in her old slang.
"Then why are you the messenger?" Koizumi asked, finally speaking up. His face was still blank, but there was a decided sharpness in his eyes, like he was trying to calculate a problem that could only be done by a calculator all in his head. "You didn't have to necessarily act in accordance with your family."
"But my family's right." That was that--no qualifiers, no explanation, nothing. Tsuruya might as well have said that the sky was blue; it was just that much of a fact for her.
Now, if only she'd share with the rest of the class.
"Right about what?" I asked, and she shook her head.
"Oh, I want to tell you, don't worry. We're still waiting for the go-ahead before I can get into details though"
Well, screw that. "Then are we done? What's the point of a talk like this if you won't reveal your cards yet?"
"Because I want to know yours."
She shifted slightly, reaching out her hand to a nearby Esper, who quickly pulled out a thin envelope and gave it to her. She placed it in her lap and worked to untie the string, all the while saying, "I'm not a creepy stalker or anything, but I know a little bit about you, Kyon. As far as I've been told, in five years you've never gotten yourself into any messes. You didn't hit it off with Nakamura like we hoped--not that I blame you. She's kind of annoying. But, you had a job--a really cool one. You had an apartment and friends. So, why are you so annoyed now? It's only just now that we suddenly ruined your life?"
"You controlled it."
From behind me, I heard Tenjou snort.
"But destroyed it?" Tsuruya asked, eyes on me even as she pulled out a piece of paper from the envelope. "'Cause last I checked, you were the one that did that."
She lifted the paper, revealing it to be a photo and I froze.
"What is that?" Koizumi asked, alarm trickling through a crack in the plastic as he noticed my reaction.
"You're not blind, Koizumi!" Tsuruya chided, the pseudo-brightness dampened by the fact that her not nearly apologetic enough eyes were still glued on me. "It's what it looks like. That's Haruhi--see her hair? It's longer, right, like it was back in your last year of high school. And, so, the boy with his back to us is--"
'I clench the bridge railing tightly, but end up letting go.'
"How did you get that?" I asked, shaking the memory off.
"Oh, somewheres," she said, trying to be casual, then bit her lip. "Somewhere. Sorry--sometimes I slip when I'm nervous. But you get the point, right, Kyon?"
"But you did it."
"Nope."
"Yes, you did!"
She jumped back, eyes widening at my outburst, and admittedly my very logical and reasonable brain was a little appalled at this half-broken little cry, but apparently my brain wasn't really in charge anymore, as I kept going.
"I screwed up, all right? Hell, you're right. It was me, and I take full responsibility for it, but you can't just sit there and pretend like you don't have anything to do with this! Never mind your family; you did this. You were just as much a part of this as anyone else here! You did whatever you were told, you're the one that I'm talking to, and . . ."
And, suddenly, it clicked. I couldn't explain why; it just did, like when you return to a video game after months of being stuck on a challenge and suddenly see the move you have to make to win.
"And you have that picture," I finished, calming down as it dawned on me. "There was no way you could have that, no way you could have known we'd be there unless you've been there all along, working behind the scenes. I said the words, but you--"
'It's really a lovely place, to stop and think, you know? Not too loud, often not busy at all.'
'And it's got the most beautiful bridge you've ever seen.'
"You put them there."
She shook her head, then looked down. She fingered the photo, seemingly thinking about something, then finally put it face-down on her lap again. "My family helped. And I'm really sorry, Kyon; I'm being totally honest!" she added, head snapping up to catch my eyes again. "But it was going to happen anyway, sooner or later. I mean, I know you. We didn't put anything there, not really; we just couldn't risk it being later." She hesitated, fingering the photo again, then with a fierce determination continued, "Not with the rate that Haruhi's powers were fading."
Wait. What?
"What the hell are you doing?" Tenjou screeched, apparently as confused as I was, but Tsuruya didn't back down.
"What the point of being the heir if I can't make an executive decision, huh? Kyon deserves to know."
"He's cannon fodder. He doesn't deserve to breathe."
"Yes, he does." As if to further assert her authority, Tsuruya stood and crossed her chest with her arms. "This is totally stupid, Tenjou, and I'm willing to take the blame for it! Kyon's dealt with Haruhi better than all of us combined! He's hilariously obvious about it, and in fact he can be a major idiot sometimes about it, but I've told Grandmother loads of times--"
"--and you've been rejected!"
"So what?! Grandmother's not here and as her heir, I've decided--"
But what she decided, I wouldn't be fortunate to find out, as a hiss chopped through the air and she slumped into a heap on the ground.
"About time someone got out the darts," Tenjou mumbled, quickly walking to the body and checking the pulse. Satisfied, she stood, turning the gun back on Koizumi and me.
"Always knew she was a sympathizer," she said with a cold smirk.
"Isn't killing her a little hasty?!"
"I'm prepared, not stupid. Tranquilizer darts. Just in case the heir got 'megas' big for her boots."
Maybe so, but the amount of pleasure you're taking in it speaks to something way more depraved than "preparedness".
"So," I said, "I guess you're in charge?"
The smirk faded, the lips curling in another far more carnivorous expression, like at that moment she'd love nothing more than to rip the meat off my bones. "No. I'm not."
She quirked her head up, signifying behind me, and confused, I turned. I don't know who I was expecting; maybe the mysterious Grandmother Tsuruya had mentioned. However, I will tell you this.
I was not, in a million years, expecting Haruhi, gun out to match Tenjou's and a confused but bold grin on her face.
"Haruhi, remember the part where you were supposed to stay inside?!"
"Like I was going to do that!"
. . . You know, she was right. Why I ever thought she'd stay behind, I couldn't even fathom.
"Are you done?" Haruhi said, this time to Tenjou. "Because I want to get back inside."
"Our leader isn't here yet," she replied, each word broken like she was physically forcing it out of her throat.
"When is she going to get here?"
"Tonight. Definitely."
"Good; then we'll see you tonight."
Haruhi smiled her usual wicked grin and you could almost see the very fibers of Tenjou's being bulge at the hatred she was containing. "And if I shoot you first?"
"You haven't yet! So, why are you going to start now?"
And there you had it: Haruhi Suzumiya. So painfully smart she was almost stupid. Tenjou hissed, letting out a foul stream of swears that I didn't think were even all Japanese, but she had to let us go. Sure, it was entirely dumb luck, but Haruhi had hit accidentally in her stupid rush to save our butts on the all important trump card.
As dire as the situation was, you never, ever killed God.
"Aw, come on, that was ridiculously easy!" said Haruhi, as she shut and locked the front doors to the building.
"You still could've gotten yourself killed," I threw out reflexively as I sat down on the floor next to Koizumi, though at this very second it was hard to get too upset over it. Haruhi's recklessness aside, this was the one time where she really could afford to be, and most importantly, she hadn't actually heard much of anything.
Here was how it went:
The second we left, Haruhi had apparently demanded to find an opening, any opening. Nagato accessed the plans to the building and found an old vent, sealed in from inside the room on the second floor, but still open on the outside. After some careful scans that Haruhi hadn't bothered to ask the full details of, she deemed it just large enough for someone as small as Haruhi was to crawl through. They punched in the wall, Haruhi crawled, and she tried to sneak her way around. It wasn't long before she was caught but when she raised her gun, she noticed they didn't even flinch, not even to grab her. Guess that trip at the park was mostly bluff--the Espers apparently were terrified to touch her. She then waltzed her way through the crowd and got me and Koizumi--about the only part she heard was something about a Grandmother.
At least, that was the story Haruhi told. I had a sneaking suspicion there was more so when she moved to talk to a few of the interfaces that had come down to guard the doors, I leaned in to talk to Koizumi.
"Did Haruhi wish this?"
He blinked, eyes turning towards me. I noticed they looked a little glazed, and I studied him a bit more to find him more than a little bit shell-shocked. I described him before as plastic, but now he really looked like it, pale and waxy and slicked with a sheen from rain and sweat. When he finally spoke, his voice wavered, and I wasn't surprised to see the smile force its way to the front.
"Most likely. She isn't making closed space at the moment, but her powers are still active. It's only reasonable that she wished to save us, and so found a way."
"So the vent?"
"Created. Vents are rarely large enough for a human being to slip through, but she certainly has seen enough films to believe that they could be. Even disregarding that, it still would have been sealed. There is no possible way Suzumiya could have escaped without her powers. The Espers knew that--that was what made them step away."
He didn't continue, but then he didn't have to. I knew what he meant, and it was pretty understandable. They were dealing with a girl who could create a vent from nothing but a wish.
Who knew what she could have done to them?
"Hey, Koizumi, you okay?"
Haruhi had apparently finished giving whatever orders she felt like giving, and was now standing directly in front of us, peering down with curiosity. "You look like you have the flu or something," she continued, kneeling down to get a closer look.
Itsuki just kept on smiling, but I knew Haruhi would want a more verbal answer than that. "He's fine," I said quickly. "Just cold. We were just standing out in the rain."
She thought this over, than shot back into a standing position, saying, "That's true; you both look like a couple of wet dogs."
My mind instantly came up with a retort, something along the lines of her looking like a lion that just rolled out of the shower what with her usually styled-to-perfection hair frizzing out into a mane, but now didn't seem like the time. She was right; Koizumi didn't look good, and though I knew it wasn't the flu, that didn't make things any better. Usually I'd leave him be, but considering the situation, a breach of code seemed to be in order. Sure, the mask was working for now, but if he was going to freak out like this at every turn we were going to have some definite problems very soon.
However, I couldn't do that with Haruhi listening in, so casually, I offered, "Want me to take him up?"
"But I still have to talk more with the interfaces!"
Perfect.
The doors of the elevator shut with that same old ding and we went up a floor. That, however, was where we stopped.
After a few moments, Koizumi turned to me from his spot in the corner, clearly confused. Whatever look I gave him though must have been enough, as he looked forward again and remarked, "I think we should go up."
"Not until you tell me what's up."
He looked down, hair falling forward like a weeping willow's. "It's not worth troubling yourself over," he mumbled.
"Somehow I disagree."
Silence. I let it pass for a bit and just as I was about to try again, he spoke, his voice oddly far away even though he stood not even a third of a meter away:
"If you knew you were going to die doing this, would you still do it?"
What, was he losing track of time? I think we were pretty safely beyond the point where that was a question worth asking. If I hadn't figured that out by now, I'm not sure I'd have been able to pass high school.
"No." He shook his head, and looked up, eyes bleary but dry. "I suppose that's not what I meant. I'm not talking of possibilities. If you knew, without a single shadow of a doubt, that getting Suzumiya back would only end in your death, would you still try for it?"
There was a rhetorical tinge to the question, just enough that I knew it wasn't really about me. That said . . .
". . . Do you know something I don't?"
His smile flickered just for a moment, deepening into something real before fading again. "Many things."
Still an ass.
He didn't continue though, so I played along and gave the best answer I could give.
"I don't know."
He didn't even hesitate before demanding again: "Truthfully speaking. No one is here to judge."
Okay, maybe not the best answer. I guess if he really was going to force it out of me . . .
"Yeah. I would."
"Would you hate me for it? For leading you down that path anyway?"
". . . Maybe irrationally, yeah. But not really."
"Then don't expect any more out of me."
And with that, I understood.
"Wait--"
But Koizumi was apparently done, mask on to hide again. I sighed, frustration pulsing through me, but I pressed the button.
So for some reason, Koizumi was convinced he was going to die. Strange, but I guess he had his reasons. And it was okay if he blamed me for it, really.
So then, why was I frustrated?
Almost as soon as I asked the question, I looked at him again and the answer came to me.
"At least don't do that," I said finally. "Hate me if you want, that's fine, but don't do that . . . weird smiling thing you always do." It was creepy, not to mention sort of unhealthy. And, well . . .
You don't want to go back to who you were in high school, Koizumi. Take it from me.
For a while, he didn't answer, still focused on the intricacies of his shoes. In a whisper, though, he eventually uttered the words that now I knew I really didn't actually want to hear:
"I don't hate you. I hate the one who told me."
The doors opened and my eyes followed his, though somewhere some part of me knew. It was only logical. In a situation such as this, only one person could possibly know, and thinking back, there were so many little glances that put together could only amount this.
But still, my eyes went and reached their inevitable destination: the lovely figure of Mikuru Asahina, boiling tea as innocently as she always has.
Aiieee sorry for the delay. School started, tech week started, death started. This story's still on track to finish soon though; I'm considering combining some chapters together so perhaps even as soon as three or four chapters from now. The musical will be over by easter and while I do plan on participating in Script Frenzy, I should have time.
Sorry again; hope you liked it! And many thanks to Rocke for being a wonderful, wonderful beta as always.
