VOV

Chapter 8 'Angry Angels' or 'Reunion Rumble'

DISCLAIMER: Hullo there, I'm 'Nereid', but everyone calls me 'Neery'. You guys met me in the last vidlog entries. While I'm waiting for 'KomShim' to put my comm relay call through to my cousin, 'Nyssa', I have been requested to read you the usual malarkey about our using other creators' works.

Ahem. We are very grateful to every creator whose creations we have used or will use in future. We especially wanna thank 'birthday boy', Haruka-San Takachiho, without whose kind permission to use the 'Lovely Angels' characters and a slue of other characters, we would not be able to bring you these vidlogs and vidfiles of our many adventures.

Of course, anyone who wishes to may use our own creations and OCs so long as we are given proper credit for their creations. Now, we left ya with a surprise heading our way for the 'Fancy Dress' Hall-o-we'en party. Poor Mr Berringer and Mr Shadarack! 'She' is on her way to 'Victorine' although nobody knows that yet.

By the way, today, 27 November, is the Boss's (Classic Lovely Angel Kei) birthday so many happy returns to her!

Let's turn the floor over to thos same 'Boss' who is aboard the 'Lovely Angel 2'. Huh? OK. 'Gally' just reminded me to tell you to hoist the storm warnings. And on with the show-

"Outer markers in sight, mum." said Kei's new exec, 'Commodore Gina Phillips'.

"Great! When d'ya think we'll reach the 'inners', man?" demanded the 'Boss'. 'Gina' did some speedy calculations on her new 'wrist-puter' before answering her.

"This afternoon- sometime after lunch, mum." replied 'Gina'. Kei beamed her a rare smile.

"Wowie! That means we'll make 'planetfall' before din din! We won't miss the big shindig after all! Just think, 'Ginny'. The galaxy's at peace again. All of the bad guys are locked up on prison planets and the brigs on 'Shim', 'Kagura', 'Minerva', Mars and even on 'Victorine' are empty! I sure don't feel like seeing 'Johnny Berringer' or 'Lord Vicious' when we land today. 'Uncle Chuckie' ('Charles Garner' was the 3WA's 'Territorial Sector Chief' and he was like a father to the 'Angels') told me that 'Time Traveler' was under wraps too. Good thing, man. The 'time jockeys' are gonna be run ragged returning folks to their own worlds and time eras as it is. See ya at lunch, kid? ('Ginny' nodded and went back to chatting with 'Vash' who was the ship's chief security officer for this run) OK. The comm's yours. I'll be in my quarters if ya need me, kiddo." said an elated redhead, exiting the bridge.

"OK, 'Vashie'. Spill the peas. Why were ya looking at the 'Boss' like that?" demanded 'Ginny' when she was sure that the redhead was out of earshot.

"I was given secret orders, Hon. From 'Uncle Vito' ('Vittorio Franciscus Xavier Galadriel' was the self-proclaimed 'God' of the 3WA) himself, no less. He doesn't want that firebrand Hellcat setting foot on 'Vic' for another monthlet- not until 'Thanksforgiving Day'. Can ya keep a secret, 'Ginny'? (The exec nodded) 'Time Traveler' has escaped. He swiped a 'star cruiser' and gathered a bunch o' ragtag tough guy thugs for a crew. He's rumoured to be heading for a rendezvous with 'Berringer' and 'Vicious', 'Oakbrain' and 'Khan'." explained 'Vash the Stampede'.

"No need to say any more, 'Vashie'. That damned rendezvous is on 'Vic', isn't it?" she asked.

"Unfortunately, that's an addirmative, Hon. What the Hell can I do though? She outranks me, man!" growled 'Vash'.

"She outranks everybody, even the new 'Lady President' on 'Vic'. We'll just have to keep her away from 'Johnny' and the rest of 'em. Maybe she'll go back home to 'Shim' after this blasted party. Oh no! She's sure as shootin' to find out about 'Traveler's escape and she'll wanna go in hot pursuit! Maybe I can find her another exec. I sure as Hell don't wanna go hunting again this close to 'Thanksforgiving Day'. I'm planning on doing some 'Kurisumasu' (Christmas) shopping when we get back home to 'Shim'." said 'Ginny', gloomily.

"Want me to volunteer?" chuckled 'Vash'.

"Sure. Why not?" replied 'Ginny' jokingly, but the look on her face told him that she was dead serious.

"I was just kiddin', man!" he replied, worriedly. She grinned at the big guy.

"Relax, pal. The new officers'll be lining up to be exec to 'Her Nibs'. It's the surest way to a promotion. I went from 'Captain' to 'Commodore'. What's your latest ranking?" asked 'Ginny', glancing at the wall chromo. It was almost time for lunch.

"It was, uh, 'Major' last time I checked. I wanna make 'SubAltern', but not that way, man!" answered 'Vash'.

"Wanna do me a favour, big guy?" chortled 'Ginny'. "It's time for lunch and I said I'd call Kei. She's in her quarters. Wanna watch for 'Vic's 'inner markers' for me? Thanks." added 'Ginny' who was already heading for the lift stations.

"Consider it done, kiddo. See ya later." replied 'Vash'.

"Sir? 'Inner markers' in sight, sir. Looks like we'll be making planetfall in another solar hour. We are ahead of schedule, sir." said the ship's new 'navvy', 'Ensign Lina Lescovar' who was usually a 'Slayer'. Her 'friend', 'Xellos Mallory' had 'volunteered' their services to the 3WA and- as luck would have it- the 'LA2' had been in need of both a navigator and a gunner's mate.

"Thank Kami (God) for that, 'Linny'. 'Mallory'. Keep yer sharp eyes peeled fer rogue asteroids. All seven moons and both suns will be up in 'Vic's aether. I'll have yer lunches sent up as soon as 'Ginny' gets back here." said 'Vash'.

"Aye,sir. Looks like yer sister got the best duty after all, 'Linny'." replied 'Xellos'. 'Lina' gave him a rueful look.

"Yeah. She gets to sit on her fat keester all day and direct traffic on 'Shimougou'. How'd you get to be a gunner's mate, man? I'm a far better shot than you are, man." grumbled 'Linny'.

"Uh, a woman in your 'condition' can't be exposed to all of that kind of excitement, dear. Not with a little one on the way and all." chortled 'Xellos' and 'Lina's face went beet red.

"What! You told them that I was pregnant! No wonder the 'Commodore' told me to be sure and see some 'Dr Brackett' guy when we make 'planetfall'! Ooh! I'll get you back for this, 'Xelly'! You just see if I don't, man! Watch out! Ain't that an asteroid dead ahead? Well? Blast the damned thing before it hits us!" yelled 'Lina'.

"Got it! Thanks fer the heads-up, 'Linny'. Ooh! I forgot to tell the chefs that you're expecting. You should be on a bland diet. You've been packin' on the pounds, girlie." chuckled 'Xellos', blasting another asteroid to smithereenies.

"Hi. I'm back. I brought your lunches up. I made sure that your 'significant other' got the right kind of nourishment for a girl in her, uh, 'condition'. Not showing yet, 'Linny'? I'll bet 'Xelly's gonna be a very proud Papa. I'll have you relieved from all duties once we are down, dear. 'Xellos' will be on guard mount. Hear that, boyo? Report to 'Colonel von Dekker' as soon as we land. Where's 'Vash'? In the what? Oh, I understand." said 'Ginny'.

"Even a great man has to answer the call of nature, mum." chuckled 'Xellos' who was having a ball shooting at asteroids.

"Just be certain sure that you don't miss any of those things, kid. Oh, the 'Boss'll be up to brief us before we land. 'Lina'? Better clear our 'planetfall' with the tower down there. I understand that they have a 'weather shield' barrer activated. We wouldn't want to crash into that field, would we? Oh dear! Will you be safe 'beaming' down, 'Linny'? No. I'll send you two down by shuttle. Don't forget to check in at our HQ before you see 'Dr Brackett', dear. His offices are in the hospital in the new city. Be ready to leave in ten minutes, please." said the 'Commodore' and 'Linny' was on the 'broil' cycle.

"Cheer up, Snookums. We get to ride in a shiny new shuttlecraft. Remember your blood pressure, darling." laughed 'Xelly'.

"Yeah and what happens if your 'cloak' drops, 'Xelly'? You aren't really human, ya know? What d'ya think would happen if our pilot were to find out that you're really a monster? A benevolent monster, but still a monster, man. Nah, I won't tell 'em. You're a really cool guy and an ace gunner's mate. That reminds me. How'd we ever end up here- on this old tub I mean?" pouted 'Linny' who was still angry with her friend.

"We must have accidentally come through some portal I opened, kiddo. If that's true, ya better be real nice to me because I'm the only one who can reopen the door back to our world, Sweetie." chortled 'Xellos' while she fumed inwardly.

"Don't blame 'Mallory', 'Lescovar'. You guys came through a portal, only he didn't have anything to do with it. That credit goes to a little worm we've been chasing for weeks- 'Time Traveler'. He was last seen on 'Shim' where your sister wound up, 'Linny'. Not to worry. She's filling in for one of our comm relay operators in one of the spaceport towers. Relax. We'll send all three of ya back home as soon as one of our TARDISes is free. Unfortunately, that will not be anytime soon. Until then, you're all in the 3WA. Uh, except for you, dear. You'll be checked into the hospital in the new city until the happy event. Now you'd both better pack up your things and report to the parking docks belowdecks. I'll assign you a shuttle pilot. You have ten minutes, kids. See ya on the surface." said 'Ginny' whose words amazed the human girl and pseudo-human boy.

"Don't pay her no never minds, guys. Almost every gal here can 'mind read' and 'mind send'. 'Ginny's really good at it. Some of the guys have 'telepath' abilities, but not me. Better get packed up and report to the 'Leonardo' belowdecks. I'll be waiting for ya. I'm yer pilot. Later." said 'Vash the Stampede' with a grin.

"And another thing, 'Xelly' dearest. How come we're only 'ensigns' and 'Luna Swanson' ('Lina' & 'Luna' had different fathers) gets to be a 'First Lieutenant'? It ain't fair!" whined 'Linny' while 'Xelly' was helping her to pack up her junk.

"Oh, stop blubberin', ya big baby. 'Luna's older than we are and she's a 'sorceress' to boot. Besides, she took all o' those courses in communications and stuff. At least she's on 'Shimougou' while we're here on 'Victorine'. Let's just try to have fun. OK?" replied the pseudo human monster.

"Fun! I'll be lucky if I don't wind up in the 'hoosegow'! As soon as this 'Brackett' quack examines me, he'll know that I ain't expecting! There may even be a law here for wasting a doctor's time, man. Well, if I'm going to stir, I ain't going alone, you creep! This was all your doing, dammit!" sobbed 'Linny', breaking down into tears at last. The boy comforted her as best as he could.

"It was just a joke, kiddo. They'll understand that, won't they? Anyway, it got ya off the duty roster, didn't it?" chuckled 'Xelly'. The daggers in the girl's pale green eyes were unmistakeable. If her looks could kill, he'd have dropped dead on the spot.

"Just leave yer stuff on the 'transporter' pads in Level 3, guys. And hurry up! If we miss this 'gravity well window', there won't be another until tomorrow night. Get a move on, man. I'll be waiting on the 'Leo' for ya." growled 'Vash' from their suite's open portalway.

"Now let me see. Have I forgotten anything?" mumbled 'Linny' to herself while she was zipping up her 3WA uniform jacket.

"Ain't ya gonna put some pants on before we leave?" laughed 'Xelly', pointing to her bare legs. The poor girl's face blushed to a deep shade of vermillion and she shrieked. Then, giving him a withering glance, 'Linny' dashed into her bedroom. Five minutes later, she emerged completely dressed and carrying her heavy fur parka and outdoor gear which she dumped into the 'anti-grav trolley's bin with the rest of their luggage.

"Take all of this crap to the 'transporter' room on Level 3. Understand?" ordered 'Xelly' to the 'droid 'handler'.

"Yes, 'Lord Mallory'. I un-der-stand. I hope that you and your wife have a nice visit." answered the 'droid.

"It's not bad enough that you told everyone that I'm pregnant, dammit! Now everyone thinks that we're married! You had better get this mess straightened out- tout sweet- or else! C'mon, Darling. We don't want to miss our flight, do we, dearest?" fumed 'Lina Lescovar-Mallory'. "And if 'Luna' hears one word about any of this, I'll kill you, boyo." she added angrily.

"Mustn't keep 'Vashie' waiting, Lovey." chortled 'Xelly' and they followed the 'droid as far as the lift stations. The 'doid trundled aboard followed by the 'newlyweds'. Their luggage and 'droid got off on Level 3. They continued down to the sub-deck where the parking docks were located.

"Over here you two! Hurry it up! We have just a few minutes left before we lose our 'window'!" yelled 'Vash' through their comm badges. The two 'Slayers' took to their heels and scrambled up the gangway and plopped into the seats beside 'Vash'. 'Xelly' strapped in his 'wife' and then himself. The gangway vanished and the portals sealed themselves shut.

"Hang on to yer undies. Here we go." drawled 'Vash' and the shuttlecraft lifted and shot out into space. Suddenly, a glowing hole appeared in front of them and 'Vash' dove through it just seconds before it dematerialized! "Whew! Made it by the skin o' our teeth, kids. OK, you can unstrap now. Relax. That's 'Vic's 'aether' outside now, not deep space. We'll be landing soon." added the big gunslinger.

"Are we there yet?" whimpered big brave 'Xelly' and 'Linny' giggled. "It's OK, 'Lovey'. We're almost there. How long, 'Vash'?" she asked. "Half hour- tops. Hungry? Galley's one level down and to your left. Help yerselves. I'll be down after I've put 'Leo' on 'George'. Uh, you did bring winter gear with ya, right? It's damned cold on 'Vic's surface." replied 'Vash'. She nodded.

"Ahoy down there. 'Vash' commanding the 'Leonardo' here. Requesting you to open your barrier so we can land. Over." growled the big guy into his vidmike.

"Uh. Roger that, sir. Opening barrier. Do you have passengers aboard? Over." replied 'Lt Commodore Annie Hathaway'. It was her maiden trip for using 'Vic's comm relays from the spaceport tower.

"Two 'Slayers' and one's in the 'family way'. Request 'flying ambulance' for her and her hubby. Request you inform 'Dr Brackett' that they've arrived. Over." trilled 'Vash the Stampede'.

"Roger willco, sir. You are cleared to land. I have assigned you Parking Dock Space AA317, Southern Sector on Level 119. 'Flying ambulance' will meet you there. Welcome to 'Victorine'. Hathaway out." trilled the time ship pilot.

"Thanks. 'Vash' out." he trilled back and tossed down his vidmike.

"But I don't need an ambulance. I can walk, dammit." fumed 'Mama Lina Lescovar'. "Now, Darling. 'Daddy' knows what's best for his 'Snooky Ookums'. The kid's due any time now, guys. Better get her undressed. I'll meet ya at the hospital, Dearest." soothed 'Papa Xelly Mallory' who was enjoying his little joke to the hilt.

Before she could protest, an 'Oxygine' mask was across 'Lina's nose and mouth while 'Paramedic Alice Gunther' stripped her to the skin and covered the humiliated 'Slayerette' with a blanket. The 'flying ambulance' touched down at the new 'Victoria City Clinic & Hospital' a few minutes later and 'Lina' was wheeled into a treatment room where 'Dr Brackett', 'Dr Early' and 'Dr Morton' were waiting with several nurses under the command of 'Head Nurse Dixie McCall'.

"A practical joke! While we were playing 'doctor' with that girl, legitimate patients could have gone begging! Where's 'Ms Lescovar's 'husband' anyway?" snarled a very angry 'Dr Kelly Brackett'. The others were all trying to hide their grins and failing miserably. 'Kelly' was perturbed because 'Dixie' had arranged the duty roster so that she and he could attend this evening's fancy dress Hall-o-we'en costume party. 'Joe Early' had been snagged by 'Nurse Huntley' to accompany her to the shindig when 'Mike Morton' had volunteered for night duty as 'doctor on call'.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the 'staging area'-

"Psst! Anybody out there, man? We could use some food, man. It's way past dinnertime." called a voice from the 'brig' building and the 'Supreme Marshall' herself wondered who was calling to her. 'Gally' had informed her that there were no prisoners left on 'Vic'. At least- none in the 'brig' cells. However, she unsealed the portals and entered the 'brig' hut.

"We're hungry, mum. That big doggie guy was supposed to bring us some chow, but he's gettin' ready fer the party tonight, man." explained 'Shadarack'. "Ain't that right, 'John'?" he added to his cellmate.

"Yeah, that's ri- Oh no! It's 'Her'! 'Poe' said that 'She' was on a star-mapping mission and wouldn't be back here until 'ThanksForGiving Day'! Hiya, 'Boss'. How ya been, 'Reds'?" asked 'John Berringer' while 'Shad' tried to press himself into a corner.

"Huh? Where'd you come from, 'Johnny'? Well, ye're goin' back to whereever ya escaped from on the next transport outta here. You too, whoever the Hell ya are. Relax. I'll have a 'repper' brought in for ya. We don't go in fer torture, boyos." growled the 'Boss' and then she added under her breath- "No matter how much ya may deserve it!" She stomped off to find 'Gally' and give the poor 'time lady' a piece of her mind- a damned big piece.

"I thought ya said we hadn't got any prisoners in the 'brig', milady?" snarled the redheaded Amazon firebrand Hellcat.

"I take it that you found 'Johnny' and 'Shad', mum? They were caught after our last transmission to your flagship. We'll be sending them back to the proper authorities next week and-" said 'Gally', sighing.

"Next week? I want 'em offa 'Vic' at first sunsrises, dammit!" howled the 'Boss', crashing her gloved fist on the desk.

"No can do, kiddo. The 'Adonis Arch' collapsed again and space traffic from 'Shim's backed up until 10 NovDec at least." drawled the devil-may-care Vampire- Erik.

"We don't even have a spare TARDIS, Kei. Unless you wanna use your own flagship as a transport vessel, mum?" inquired the 'Gallifreyan time lady' who was temporary commander of the planet.

"Maybe. In the meantime, send somebody over to our two 'guests' with a couple o' 'reppers'. Can't have 'em starvin' to death on our watch, can we, kid?" chortled Kei. She pulled off her gloves and sat down opposite 'Gally'.

"Boy oh boy! How'd ya just 'happen' to drop your Mark XII down the well, 'Alvie'? It was bad enough when ya dropped those code books down the well back home. That water was darned cold! Look! There's a hole in the ice where your gun broke through! How am I supposed to fish it out for ya, huh?" grumbled 'Andy Carter'.

Come on, 'Andrew'! I didn't do it on purpose, ya know. 'Helga' wanted a photograph o' meself bendin' over the well, didn't she? For her scrapbook. The damned thing just slipped outta me holster, didn't it? Be a mate, 'Andrew'. Please? I'd go down meself, but I can't swim. Please?" pleaded 'Alvin Newkirk'.

"OK. Go get some grease from 'Louie' ('LeBeau') and I'll go down and get it for ya. Hurry up! It's freezing out here, man!" replied 'Andy'.

"Belay that last order, 'Alvie'. Slip into this 'Mithril' underwear and hood, 'Mr Carter'. You won't need grease or oil or anything else. 'Mithril' is an 'Elfin' garment that retains heat and repels both moisture and cold. Uh, you'd better change inside, sir. Do not worry. Marks cannot rust." said 'Annie Hathaway' who'd been watching from the Kommandant's office.

While 'Andy' was changing, 'Annie' explained the principles of the strange light yet very strong fabric developed by the 'Elves' which retained heat while repelling moisture and cold to keep its wearer toasty, warm and dry- even in temperatures well below freezing. 'Helga' and 'Wolfgang' (Her hubby) were impressed while 'Alvie' worried that it might all be done with 'smoke and mirrors'. He was not convinced and he felt bad because it was his own carelessness which was the reason for 'Andy' having to make like a polar bear!

"You sure that this stuff will keep me warm and dry, ma'am?" asked a dubious 'Carter'. She assured him that he'd be as 'snug as a bug in a rug'. Then she handed him a pair of curious looking sneakers.

"With these on your feet and by using this remote, you can 'float' all the way down to the icy surface. They're lined with 'Mithril' so you won't get your feet wet. When you can feel the Mark- they float- you just use this control to 'move' it onto the ice. Then you merely reverse the process to float back up. Any questions, sir? ('Andy' smiled and shook his head) OK. Whenever you're ready, 'Mr Carter'." said 'Annie'.

'Carter' clambered over the edge of the well and the rest of his 'Stalag 13' gang had to be thinking back to that cold day back on 'Terra' when 'Carter' had made this same icy plunge to retrieve a 'borrowed' Luftwaffen code book when 'Newkirk' had been forced to toss it down the well to avoid being caught with it.

On that occasion, poor 'Carter' had been rubbed down with axle grease on his almost naked body to keep out the cold! It hadn't worked too well and the poor guy had almost froze to death! This time, however, he felt toasty and warm inside his 'Mithril' undergarments and hood. He was 'floating' down instead of being lowered on a rope for the half mile trip.

CLUNK! His feet touched the icy surface of the water and he switched off his 'floaters'.

"I'm down OK!" he shouted as loud as he could, forgetting that he was deafening everyone above!

"Ya don't hafta yell, 'Andrew'! Ye're wearin' a comm badge! Me poor ears!" said an upset 'Alvie Newkirk' using his comm badge.

"Sorry about that, 'Alvie'. Hey! I kin see your Mark gun. Got it! These things do float! Coming back up. Stand clear!" he said into his badge. A few moments later, he handed the ice cold ion cannon to the Englander while the other guys wrapped him in blankets. 'Carter' grinned and then went back inside to dress.

"Be more careful in future, 'Mr Newkirk'. Even with 'Mithril', his hands must be freezing by now. This world's 'aether' is not the same as Earther 'air'. You had better wrap your cannon in something and leave it beside the fire to dry. Be certain that you remove its 'power pack' first. 'Ionic energy' has a very low explosion point." instructed 'Annie Hathaway'.

"Right ya are, Love. I don't wanna blow up 'Klink's office, do I?" chuckled the amiable Britisher. She did not smile.

"Forget the office, sir. A discharged 'power pack' set to 'low' or 'stun' could level this entire side of the mountain. Yours is set to 'high kill', 'Mr Newkirk'." explained the 'time ship' pilot matter-of-factly and 'Alvie' blanched as white as the snow upon which he was standing.

"Whew! Feels good to be warm again, guys. Funny. My fingers are still tingling from the cold. And I got gloves on, man! Weird place the Colonel brought us to, huh? Thanks, 'Louie'. I could use some hot coffee." said 'Andy Carter', accepting a steaming mug from the little Frenchman.

"So long as 'Butterfingers Alvin' here does not forget to secure his holster strap again." replied 'Louie LeBeau' who doubled as camp chef and seamstress. 'Bob Hogan's men performed many different duties.

"He better 'cause I ain't going down there again, no siree!" stated the druggist from Terran Minnesota.

"Me gun's dryin' by the fireplace in 'Willy's office and yes, I did remove the bloody 'power pack' and I reset the gun to 'low stun'." replied the Englander, a former RAF Corporal who was now a 3WA First Lieutenant.

"Since all's right with the world again over here, I hafta get back to my comm relay duties at HQ. Anyone need a lift? Any of ya wanna go fer a ride in my new 'air car speeder'. 'Daisy' is a 'Space Rover 5000' and she can go from zero to point seven Warp in 12 nano-seconds." said 'Annie', dropping her helmet's blast shield and pulling on her gloves.

"Ja! 'Schultzy' haf eaten up most uf our food supplies und I need to stock up. 'Volfie'! I am going shopping, dearest vun. I vill be back to fix dinner. Be sure dot mein kitchen ist clean und do der bathrooms too. I von't be long." said 'Helga Schmidt-Hochstetter', pulling on a helmet and her fur parka. 'Johnny Kinchloe' tossed her a pair of fur gloves and she caught them deftly.

Promising 'I'll be bock', she followed 'Annie' out to her shiny new green and black 'speeder'. As soon as 'Helga' was aboard, 'Annie' wasted no time in lifting off and rocketing the seventeen kilometres back to the 'staging area' where 3WA HQ- 'Victorine Division' was located.

'Annie' pulled to a stop in front of the new 'Shop Till Ya Drop' supermarket. 'Helga' hopped out, vidwallet in her fist.

"Want me to wait for ya, 'Helly'?" asked 'Annie', but the German girl shook her head.

"Nein. Dot vill not be necessary, 'Annie'. I vill take a 'holocab' bock vhen I am finished. Danke Schoen all der same. Auf Wiedersehen, my dear." she replied. 'Annie' waved bye bye to her and rocketed off for home.

In the 'holotaxicab' on the way back to the stalag, 'Helga' drifted off to sleep. The 'droid pilot kept up a steady flow of one-sided yakking while he deftly threaded his way through traffic at a safe and sedate Point two Warp. Then 'Helga' nestled into the seat and pulled the traveling blanket tighter around herself and she dozed off. Then she began to dream.

'A CHRISTMAS CAROL - GALACTIC LAW VERSION' (AN: This 'dream sequence' is a stand alone story within this chapter)

"Damnation! 'Loo-Ten-Ant Cratchit'! Front and centre!" howled 'District Attorney Hamilton B.H. Scrooge'.

"Coming, sir! Yes, sir? You bellowed, I mean, you called, sir?" asked the shorter 3WA intergalactic police lieutenant.

"I most certainly did, sir! And it has taken you FOUR extra nano-seconds to respond to my summons, sir! Where is 'Miss Forsythe'? I need the briefs for the 'O'Halloran' trial!" fumed his superior who had just been elected 'Victorine's new DA. Of course, nobody liked the guy. However, 'stuffing the balloting computers' by having 'Micah Jordan' hack into the elections systems had secured him the landslide victory over the incumbent- 'Alex Walker'!

"I, uh, have allowed 'Becky', 'Miss Forsythe' I mean- to go 'Kurisumasu' (Christmas) shopping, sir. here are the briefs for the trial, sir. And, if I may say, sir-" replied 'Arthur Tragg Cratchit'.

"You may not, sir. Who is working for whom here, 'Lt Cratchit'? I suppose that you and 'Miss Forsythe' will be wanting the whole day off tomorrow- as usual?" demanded the tall menacing DA. 'Artie Cratchit' was quaking in his deck boots.

"If it is convenient, sir? After all, it is only once a solar year, sir. And we always come in very early on 'St Stephen's Day' to get the work caught up, sir." explained the cringing cop. 'Artie' was the chief homicide detective in 'Victoria City' and a damned good one as well. The poor guy deserved better, but he liked being a cop for the 3WA and because he was the chief of the homicide bureau for the new city, he had no choice but to work for old 'Bah Humbug' as 'Mr Scrooge' was known by most folks.

The 'B.H.' of his name really stood for 'Benjamin Harrison', his father's favourite ancient Terran US President who had served the shortest term of any Terran US leader- half a monthlet! However, owing to 'Hamilton's temper and disposition, everyone called him old 'Bah Humbug', but not to his face, of course!

"It ain't convenient, sir and it ain't fair neither. If I withheld four Credits from your 'vidwallet accounts', ye'd think yerselves ill used, I'll be bound. But, ye dinna think me ill ised when I pay a day's Credits fer no damned work, do ye, sir? Oh, alright! Take the day, but-" snarled the old miser.

"We'll be here even earlier the next day, sir. Ah, here comes 'Rebecca' now. And your nephew is with her." replied 'Arthur'.

"What the Hell does that 'jackanapes' want this time, I wonder? Oh no! Don't tell me that he's still been seeing 'Miss Forsythe'?" snapped the lawyer angrily. Besides being his 'secretary/confidential assistant/'go fer it' girl, 'Rebecca Robertson Forsythe' was also the old boy's 'ward'. If any eligible bachelor had designs on wedding this young lady and getting a decent 'dowry' from this old skinflint, he was sadly mistaken.

"Meri Kurisumasu, 'Uncle Moneybags'! Can I have 'Becky's hand in marriage, sir? I know- you're too darned cheap to give the girl a 'dowry', but I don't care. I'm the new chief of security at 'Victorian Rangers' HQ now. Let me help you off with your coat, Darling. My goodness! You must be close to 'max out' on your new 'MeisterVista' card! Look at all of these gifts. Come and sit down. How about a belt, 'Pops'? To warm the old innards eh?" chortled 'Colonel Frederick 'Freddie' Scrooge Hogan' and 'Arthur' hastily 'repped up' two more chairs for the young folks.

"What! You marry my dear child? And then you'll go gallivantin' all across the Universes while me poor 'Rebecca' sits home all alone? No, sir. You may not have her hand nor my blessings, sir." bellowed 'Scrooge'. 'Becky' started to sob and then she whispered something into the lieutenant's ear which caused him to go quite red in the face.

"Well? We have no secrets in this office, sir. What has she just told you, 'Cratchit'? I demand to know, sir." growled 'Scrooge'.

"She's told 'Artie' that we gotta get married. The baby's due in a few more weeks, 'Dad'. Don't look at me like that, guys! It ain't my fault! On Terra, it takes nine months to conceive and birth a kid. How the Hell was I supposed to know that on this world, it only takes a third of those nine months, man? Anyway, I wanted to just elope woth her to avoid the inevitable shoutin' match with ya, man. But- 'Becky' wants a big church weddin' and it just so happens that both 'Reverend Wolfwood' and 'Bishop Chapel Evergreen' are in town for the holidays and-" slurred 'Freddie Hogan' who was already tacking three sheets against the wind. He'd started celebrating early that morning and he was totally plastered.

"Well, she'll just have to have the child 'aborted'. I'll comm relay 'Sister Patricia' on 'Shimougou' and she can have it done at the 'Holy Angels Convent' in the 'Gyrols'. The 'Castilean Monarch' is lifting off in about an hour and-" said 'Scrooge'. 'Becky' fled from the office in tears and dashed out into the cold. She didn't even take her parka with her and it was frigid outside.

"Way to go, you old fool! Let's get after her 'Artie'! If anything happens to that girl, I'll demand satisfaction from you, 'Uncle Hamilton'! And ya kin take that to the bank, man! Grab her outdoor gear, 'Artie'. She's probably on her way to the 'overground' station. Remember what I said, 'B.H.'! And here's yer wreath, man! Good afternoon, sir!" yelled 'Freddie', hustling 'Lt Cratchit' out the portals and down the slippery streets.

"Well! I must say that you have screwed things up royally, 'Hamburger'! 'Fred's not kiddin' either! Kami help ya if she loses that kid, man! She can't have no more, ya know? Look at me when I'm yellin' at ya, man!" shouted a disembodied voice that shook the building.

"How can I look at you, sir? You are a figment of my imagination, sir. Too much holiday cheer, y'see?" said 'Scrooge', looking behind the file cabinets and under the desks.

"Yer pardon, suh! I'm still invisible. How about this?" said the voice and a tall bewhiskered elderly gentleman in a dirty bathrobe was standing on 'Scrooge's desk. 'Jameson Moriarty Martinson' had been 'Scrooge's old partner and fellow 'ambulance chaser' until he'd had one too many at the pub seven years ago and had been knocked down by a 'speeder' coming in for a landing.

"Huh? Ye're dead, 'Jamie'! Ye give up the spirit seven year ago this verra night! Why d'ye walk the world and why d'ye come to me? I've been a good little boy, haven't I?" asked 'Scrooge' who was hiding under his desk. Big brave DA my foot!

"O' course I'm dead, Stupid! I come back here tonight to help ye see the error o' yer ways. Ye got one chance o' escapin' my Fate!" explained the spectre, draining 'Scrooge's last bottle of 'Romulan Blue Ale'.

"What Fate be that, 'Jamie'?" demanded his still living partner.

"Havin' to watch old 'Saturday Nite Live' program reruns fer all eternity. A Fate worse than death, man!" replied 'Jamie'.

"OK! They kin get married with me blessings. And I'll even toss in an extra five thou in Credits fer the 'dowry'. How's that strike yer fancy?" asked 'Scrooge' who had dinner reservations with his former secretary, 'Yuri Donovan' at twenty hundred hours- 8 PM and it was almost nineteen thirty now. If he came late, they'd charge him an extra six Credits! Twenty-five if he didn't show up at all.

"Not so fast, old friend. First, ye'll be visited by three spirits. The spirits o' Galactic Law- Past, Present and Yet-To-Come and-" said 'Jamie' who was starting to feel the effects of the 'Romulan' firewater and was slurring his words.

"Ye mean 'Future', don't ye, 'Jamie'?" corrected 'Scrooge'.

"Yeah, but 'Yet-To-Come' sounds a lot more ominous, man. Expect 'Clarence Darrow' at one; 'Perry Mason' at two and 'Hamilton Burger' at three. We been gettin' too durned many complaints about convertin' old curmudgeons like yerself over three nights and havin' to explain why they ain't missed 'Kurisumasu' after all. So- ya gets 'em all the same night, er mornin'. Whatever. OK. Here comes 'Gohan Son' on his Dad's yellow 'Flyin' Nimbus Cloud' so I gotta split. Good luck, 'Hammy'. Let's motor, 'Gohan'." said 'Jamie Martinson' and then they were both gone.

Dinner was a disaster. Because it was a holiday eve, the restauranteur didn't charge 'Scrooge' extra for being a half hour late. However, 'Yuri' was 'stoned to the gills' on 'White Zinfandel' and ended the evening by doing a fair to middlin' version of 'Gypsy Rose Lee' until he managed to get her out through the kitchens one step ahead of the 'Victorian Rangers'! Then he had to explain to 'Mrs Fiona MacCrimmon' who ran the boardinghouse where the girl resided why she had been kept out past the twenty-three hundred hours' curfew! That had cost him another fifteen Credits!

"About dashed time that you showed up, 'Mr District Attorney'! I have five other creeps like you to visit tonight, ya know? OK, shall we jump out the of the window now, sir?" said 'Clarence Darrow', the most famous 'legal eagle' in Terran history. 'Darrow' had set the precedent for 'Not guilty by reason of insanity' plea bargaining statutes during the infamous 'Leopold-Loeb' trial.

"Are you insane, sir? I am but a morrtal and liable to fall. Then I'd have to sue you for damages, sir. Haven't you ever seen those 'Metzgar-Wickersham' ads on vidTV?" snarled 'Scrooge' who was a little the worse for wear after two bottles of bubbly.

"Bear but a touch of my robe and ye shall be upheld in more than this. What the Hell was 'Charlie Dickens' on when he wrote this bloody crap? Hang on. We're going back in time to your old school." yawned a tipsy 'Spirit of Galactic Law Past'.

"Recognize this place, foolish mortal?" asked 'Clarence', not to be confused with the 'Angel' who needed to earn his wings. That is yet another tale.

"Of course I do. There's that brat 'Harry Potter'! He was always asking for more gruel and when he didn't get it, he turned the headmaster into a toad! Young 'Dick Wilkins'! He grew up and changed his name to 'Paul Drake'. He works for 'Mason' as a private detective. And there's meself. Imagine! My parents wouldn't let me come home for holidays and just because I sold their 'beach house' to 'Troy Donahue' when I was seven years old! OK, I've seen enough. Where to now, 'Mr Darrow', sir?" said a bored 'Scrooge'.

"Damnation! Look at the time! Almost time for 'G Law Present' to show up. By the by, you're still seeing 'Miss Donovan', I take it? ('Scrooge nodded) Then no sense in re-opening old wounds by showin' ya the 'one that got away', is there? OK. Here we are back at your place. Learned anything yet? No? Give it time, man. See ya soon maybe?" said 'Clarence Darrow' and 'Hamilton' sat down to warm up some gruel by the fireplace.

Honestly! Did 'Mr Dickens' ever even try to eat this slop, I wonder? Yucksville, baby!

"Good evening, sir. I'm not the police. I'm your attorney and I want the truth, sir. Sorry. Old habits you know. Let me see." said 'Spirit of Galactic Law Present'- 'Mr Perry Mason', checking his new 'wrist communicator and computer'- a gift from 'Della Street' before she had left to spend 'Kurisumasu Ibu' (Christmas Eve) with the 'Cratchits' in their tiny twelve room suite in 'Ivory Towers'.

"Have you ever been to the hovel where poor 'Arthur Tragg Cratchit' lives with his three wives and ten kids, sir? It'll be better next year when the new divorce laws take effect for 'Victorine' and men and ladies are limited to one legal partner. Well, grab hold of my overcoat and we'll see how your poor 'clerk/copper' spends this holiday. Don't stretch the material, 'Hamilton'! This is imported 'vicuna', not cheap 'gabardine' like you wear, ya old sourpuss." said 'Perry'.

"Get that sugarbowl away from my dragonberry dressing pot, 'Mother Harper'!" yelled 'Naomi Cratchit' who was 'Arthur's #1 wife.

"Go and watch the puddin' singin' in the kettle up on the roof, 'Belinda'. If you've finished peelin' the taters that is? Excellent. Off you go and take a few of your sibs with ya." cooed 'Marion Cratchit' merrily. She was Wife #2.

"The 'turkeysaurus' needs bastin' again, kids. I'll be home after my shift. That 'Cordell Walker's a real damned slave driver, man!" said 'Ranger Sidney Cratchit'. When she had tired of her first husband, 'Ranger Gage', she had merely dropped him like a hot potato and married 'Artie Cratchit'. Four of her eight kids had gone with her, the other four choosing to stay with 'Daddy Gage'. 'Sidney' was 'Arthur Cratchit's third wife.

"How about a big kiss from everyone for their favourite 'Family Guy'?" chortled 'Arthur Tragg Cratchit' and everyone began throwing things at him. "That's how they show their affection for me, 'St Nicky'." he explained to the giant bearded Viking who had followed him home. 'Hagar' had tied one on tonight and now he had amnesia. When this little guy had called him 'St Nicky' and offered him a place to stay, good food and more booze, the big guy had followed this sucker like a puppy dog follows a burcher. Besides, there might even be something at his place to plunder and pillage. This had been a lean year for Vikings and other barbarians.

"Let's have a recital from our honoured guest, dearest one. We need to kill an hour or two until dinner's ready anyway." said 'Marion'. 'St Nicky' stood up and then collapsed to the floor in a drunken stupour. 'Artie' smiled and began to recite a holiday poem.

"Uh- 'Twas the night before the big day and all through the suite- nary a creature was stirrin'- not even a 'Greet'. (A 'Greet' is a giant rodent that lives in the walls of suites which are above the thousandth level of buildings).

"The socks were all dryin' above the fire with care while the kids were all dreamin' of everything- even a new 'March Hare'.

"And Mamas in their jammies and me in me new flannels had just settled our brains fer a long winter's slumber.

"Suddenly, somethin' crashed through the ceilin' and a vivacious 'Elfette' landed on one of the boy's beds with a plunk.

"Look who's sleepin' in my bed, man! I got dibs on this babe, ya rotten skunks!

"The poor thing barely escaped with her green skin intact and 'St Nicky' gave her a playfully hard fanny whack.

"He couldn't fit down the chimney 'cause he was no 'Grinch'. Then 'Greenie' managed to pick the latch in the door. This 'Elfette' babe was sure great in a pinch.

"Good thing too because 'St Nicky' had begun unlimbering his axe! He swiped all the socks and helped himself to some roast beast. Then 'Greenie' and he began packing up the sleigh with whatever was not nailed down- quite a haul!

"His 'Elfette' babe used spray paint to draw a heart on the wall and then she started to bawl. Her boss man quickly wrapped her up in one o' the Mamas' warm shawls.

"He leaped astride the lead reindeer while 'Greenie' took reins in hand and touched the speed bar ever so gently.

"But I heard someone exclaim ere he rocketed away- Where the Hell are all of the presents? Like LaCrosse and Croquet?!

"Long will it be before that family forgets that horrible night when 'St Nicky' and 'Greenie' stole everything in sight!"

"Is any o' that crap true, 'Popsy'?" cooed 'Joanie Cratchit' who was nicknamed 'Fat Joanie' because she was always eating and she was almost the size of a house.

"O' course it ain't, Sweetie-kins. Ya know yer 'Daddy's the biggest liar in town. Still and all- not a bad recital. Apologies to 'Reverend Moore' though.

"Lemme outta this mad Hellhouse, man! Ain't it about time fer me last spirit, sir? Please?" pleaded 'Scrooge' and 'Mr Mason' fixed his steely gaze on the poor guy.

"Isn't it true that you picked up that poker and bashed in the skull of your employer because he caught you with yer hand in the cookie jar- again? Admit it, sir! You are the guilty fellow. You are the murderer! Am I not correct, sir? Whoops! Done it again, huh? Well, I'll leave you now because I see 'Spirit of Galactic Law Yet-To-Come' stumbling up the stairs. Don't miss us on vidTV weekdays at zero nine hundred hours and again at twenty-three thirty hours. Farewell." said 'Perry Mason' and the suite vanished only to be replaced by a dank dark prison cell high up in a forboding castle.

"Good evening, sir. 'Hamilton Burger' had a previous engagement so I am his substitute. Careful, sir! You almost fell into the pit. Oh. What? No sir, this is Hell. It's where you're heading quite quickly unless ye mend yer evil ways. Wanna see the fires ye'll be stokin' and then roastin' in fer all eternity? It's really nifty, man." said the substitute 'Spirit' who looked for all the Universes like 'Vincent Price'.

"I shall retire to 'Bedlam'! Leave me in peace for Kami's sake! Begone already!" screeched 'Hamilton Benjamin Harrison Scrooge' and suddenly- he woke up! "What a nightmare!"

He grabbed his vidphone and quickly placed several comm relay messages without waiting for the cheaper rates to kick in. Then he got busy 'repping up' stuff. When all of his preparations were at last completed, 'Hamilton B.H. Scrooge' hopped into his ancient 'sky sled' and rocketed over the city, showering everyone in sight with Credit vouchers! Then he turned North, heading for 'Ivory Towers' where he found the 'Cratchits' suite quite deserted. Everyone was out drinking and caroling and getting sick.

Resisting the urge to 'borrow' a few presents for himself, the new and improved 'Scrooge' began unpacking his own sacks and boxes which were filled to burstin' with goodies and-

Soon every one of the twelve rooms had its own personal 'Kurisumasu' tree, gifts, foodstuffs, booze, egg nog- you name it and 'Scrooge' had brought it for them. He quickly exited the place and rocketed off for 'Freddie's cottage near 'Stalag 13' at the foot of 'Mt Peabody'. When he arrived, 'Bishop Evergreen' and 'Nick Wolfwood' were both waiting. 'Becky' was radiant in her wedding gown and as this was a formal occasion, 'Freddie' had opted for his old USAA Class A 'Colonel' uniform. 'Johnny Kinchloe' was best man and 'Helga Schmidt-Hochstetter' was matron of honour (It was her dream after all!). One of the local kids was throwing paper roses all over the floor. No real flowers to be had in one of these frigid icy cold winters.

'Evergreen' and 'Wolfwood' tossed a coin and the 'Bishop' won. Fuming, 'Nick Wolfwood' sat down beside 'St Nicky Hagar' and watched the ceremony. 'St Nicky' offered the fellow his 'flask' and soon they were both as drunk as lords and disrupting the ritual of marriage. Everyone else pretended that they couldn't hear them. 'Hamilton B.H. Scrooge' walked the bulging bride up the aisle followed closely by Drs Early, Morton and Brackett as well as by Nurses McCall and Huntley. The 'wee bairn' was due any minute now!

"Dearly beloved and all that jazz- do ye, 'Rebecca' take 'Frederick' as yer husband fer all time and so on and so forth?" asked the older former 'Gung Ho Gun' leader.

"I do-o-o! Ooh! It's coming, Darling! Hurry up, Rev!" answered 'Rebecca'.

"Righty-O! Do ye, 'Frederick' take this fine woman whom be more than ye deserve, do ye take 'Rebecca' to be yer wife fer all time?" asked 'Chapel Evergreen' quickly.

"I do! I do! Finish it quick, man! Doc! Baby's comin', man!" yelled 'Freddie'. 'Evergreen' pronounced 'em man and wife just as her new hubby and her 'guardian' laid the new 'Mrs Hogan' on a pew bench and 'Dr Joe Early' delivered a baby-

"I say, Missy. You are home. That'll be fifteen and six, please. Thankee and Meri Kurisumasu to you too, me dear lady." said the 'holotaxicab's 'droid pilot who must have taken lessons from 'Barney' in that ancient Terran 'Angel Clarence' vidfilm. .

"Danke Schoen! Was it a boy or a girl? Sorry. My dream. It was so real. Gute Weinachten, sir. I've included an extra ten Credits fer ye." said 'Helga' and suddenly she remembered that she too was in the 'family way'! 'Wolfgang Hochstetter' bustled outside to help her with the groceries and he tipped the 'cabbie' another twenty.

When she entered the Kommandant's office, 'Bobby Hogan' and 'Becky' were waiting for her.

"Guess what? We wanted you guys to be the first to know. Me and 'Becky' are gettin' hitched." said 'Hogan'. Whatever will he tell 'Xylo Phone' I wonder? He was almost engaged to the alien girl, wasn't he?

"Yeah, I know. Congrats and all, man. Yer uncle givin' her away?" yawned 'Helga' who suddenly realized how prophetic her dream had become. Everyone else thought that she was a candidate for a rubber room! However, they put it down to 'morning sickness' and too much 'Schnapps'!

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas, everyone!"

END of Chapter 8. Chapter 9 'Victorine's First Trial' or 'Shopping Spree' to follow soon. Hope that everyone had a nice 'ThanksForGiving Day'. Time to split so it's farewell from the Bossman KZ and the rest of Your Friendship Team.