The students were due back to school the following Saturday. Jane's week with Peter hadn't been nearly as horrible as she'd feared; they mostly just watched TV and hung around with Tinkerbelle, but one more day and Jane would have killed someone. Probably herself.

The boys were not returned in the greatest condition:

Max and Nick seemed frazzled and on edge from a week spent peace-keeping between their parents.

Bobby was in a bad mood after being cooped up in a house with his entire judgmental extended family.

Simon, who'd been forced to spend his entire break doing homework and practicing clarinet into the late hours of the night, was exhausted.

Will was completely freaked out, as apparently his just-out-of-prison uncle had suffered a nervous break and almost burned their house down.

And Tony had suffered an accident while skiing, returning to school with a dislocated shoulder, a broken wrist, and eight stiches in his face.

"You lot look absolutely dreadful," Jane told them later as they sat around her basement. "I mean, I knew you said that your breaks weren't going to be a total breeze, but I never thought it would be this bad."

Simon groaned. "I need a vacation from that vacation. I think I'm going to spend tomorrow sleeping."

"I have to volunteer with the kindergarteners," Tony grumbled. "That's gonna be super fun with a cast and a sling."

"That sucks, man," Peter agreed, opening up a soda.

Jane patted Tony's non-dislocated arm. "I'll come along to help out, alright?"

"I'll come too," Peter added suddenly.

Jane stared at him. "You didn't want to come a second ago."

"Did too!" Peter argued. "I just forgot until you brought it up."

"Uh huh, you keep telling yourself that."

Peter responded by flipping her off.


"Jeez Tony what'd you do to yourself?" Tinkerbelle shrieked.

Tony sighed. "I fell."

"What did you fall off a cliff!?"

"Well, yeah actually," Tony explained. "I was skiing."

Tink frowned. "You must really suck at skiing."

"Very true."

"Could I decorate your cast?" Tinkerbelle asked eagerly. "I could make your cripple arm look really fabulous if I could just get my hands on some sharpies."

"C'mon Toodles," Peter coaxed. "You can't just walk around school with an un-fabulous cripple arm."

"Definitely not," Jane agreed. "That would just be a style mistake."

"Fine!" Tony gave in. "You can color on my cast! There are some markers over in the art cart."

Tinkerbelle threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you!"

Tony winced. "Careful of the dislocated shoulder."

Tinkerbelle skipped over to the rolling cart full of markers and Popsicle sticks and glue. She quickly assembled a team of her friends to assist her in her art project. Jane smiled. "You poor thing. Do you want me to get you something to eat while they decorate you?"

"A coke and a cookie," Tony sighed. "You can find them in the fridge in the kitchen."

"Like I don't know where they keep the food," Jane laughed.


By the time she got back, Tony was engulfed within a swarm of Sharpie-wielding five-year-olds while Peter sat perched atop a table watching in amusement. Jane waded her way through the sea of tiny bodies and handed Tony his snack. "Well they got right to work, didn't they?"

"Looks like it," he shrugged. "I guess broken bones are pretty exciting."

Jane squinted at a spot on his arm. "Some kid wrote 'fuck you' in huge block letters."

"Nah that was me," Peter said, grinning.

Jane rolled her eyes. "Hilarious."

"STOP!" Tinkerbelle shouted. Everybody froze. "He's perfect. Oh, will you look at that color scheme. Beautiful. Tony, what do you think?"

"It's great," Tony said with a smile. "I love it. Thanks guys."

"There you have it," Tink announced. "Another happy customer. Alright; you may resume your regular playtime activities. Good work people."

As the other kids dispersed to play and do puzzles and color, Tinkerbelle popped up next to them. "Hi guys."

"Hi," they chorused in near unison.

Tinkerbelle climbed up onto the table and into Peter's lap. "How's life for all of you?"

"I'd say it's going pretty good," Jane said. "Kind of bummed that we have to go back to class tomorrow, but it's only for two weeks, so it's manageable."

"Oh I know!" Tinkerbelle nodded emphatically. "And on the next break, we actually get to go home and see mommy and daddy, right Peter?"

"Yeah Tink," Peter answered. He pantomimed shooting himself in the head when his sister couldn't see.

Tinkerbelle turned to Tony. "How about you? Aside from the broken arms and legs and stuff."

"Ah, you know. Same old, same old."

"Don't be boring," Tinkerbelle scolded. "There must be something interesting going on in your life. Did you join any clubs? Are you getting a haircut? Have you learned how to cook? Did you get a boyfriend?"

Oh god.

"No, I'm not gay," Tony laughed, though he'd lost all color in his face.

Tinkerbelle smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Come on, buddy. Let's be honest."

Tony stood up abruptly. "I have to go down to the library. I just remembered."

"No need to get so touchy," Tinkerbelle said. "You just don't seem like the girlfriend type. I've known you for most of my five years, Tony, and I think I know what I'm talking about when I say that you like boys. Peter, Jane, back me up here. He's totally gay, right?"

"You don't know anything!" he snapped. "Just leave me alone."

Tony stormed out the room, slamming the door behind him. Tinkerbelle looked completely bewildered. "What's his problem?"

"Tink, I know you were just asking, but you can't just go around telling people they're gay. It's kind of a sensitive subject."

She was still confused. "But… no one cares on Torchwood."

"Seriously Peter; you let her watch Torchwood too? Are you-" Jane stopped. "Oh, never mind. That's an issue for another time. Anyways, yes, nobody cares on Torchwood; but this isn't a TV show. In real life, people care."

"Why?" she asked.

"Some people think it's wrong for a boy to love a boy or a girl to love a girl," Peter explained.

"Like who? How the heck can love be wrong?" Tinkerbelle asked, baffled. "It's like, the rightest thing you can do!"

Peter nodded. "I agree completely. But there are some people who insist that only a boy and a girl should love each other, and they say some pretty mean things to people who don't fit that mold. So sometimes it's hard for a person to tell the world that they're different, because they're scared of being judged."

"People like Tony," Tinkerbelle finished.

"Exactly." Peter looked at Jane. "We should probably go find him."

"Wait, but if you two leave," Tinkerbelle said, "who will watch us kids?"

"Uh, you will," Jane told her, following Peter out the door. "You're in charge."

"You mean…" Tinkerbelle's face lit up. "Like the queen?"

"Sure whatever. Don't set anything on fire."


They found Tony brooding in a corner of one of the hallways, scowling angrily at a wall.

"There you are," Jane said.

Tony glared at them. "Fuck off."

"C'mon, man." Peter slid down next to him. "Don't be like that. You know Tink didn't mean to upset you; she's barely six."

"I'm not upset," Tony argued. "I was just annoyed by all those snotty little kids. Why should I be upset? I'm not."

"Well… it's like the first time anybody's, you know, said that aloud," Jane said.

"Jesus I'm not gay!" Tony shot back. "Just cause I don't have a girlfriend doesn't mean you should jump to those conclusions!"

Peter shifted uncomfortably. "Dude, I mean, you let me use your computer when mine runs out of battery. You're not that careful with your browser history, if you know what I mean."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "God damn it, Peter. Can't you mind your own business?"

"Nobody's judging you," Jane put in. "We just want you to be honest."

Tony wouldn't look at either of them. "Have you told anyone?"

"No," Peter answered. "Well, the Lost Boys all know, but they kind of figured it out themselves."

"When?"

"Um, beginning of the eighth grade," Peter estimated. "Or that's when we all discussed it, anyways."

"Three years ago?" Tony asked incredulously. "You had an actual, formal discussion and you never brought it up!?"

"I've only known since October," Jane added.

"It's seriously that obvious?"

"No," Jane said. "It's just when you spend a lot of time with a person, you get to know them pretty well. It's not like someone would know the second they met you."

"Though the gay porn on your computer was a pretty big tip off," Peter added. "Again, I insist you start clearing the history on your laptop. I know you're not that techie, but that's some pretty scarring stuff for your poor roommate to stumble upon."

"I don't understand how you could have 'stumbled upon' something like that," Jane speculated. "I mean, you must have been doing some hardcore snooping."

Tony groaned. "I haven't even told my parents."

"You don't have to tell them now, but they'll need to know eventually," Jane said. "It would be kind of unfair to just come home one day married to a dude with no explanation."

"Maybe I could email them," Tony suggested. "That way I don't actually have to have a conversation."

"Well, that's one option," Jane agreed. "We'll keep thinking."

Tony frowned. "If you two are both here, then who's watching the kids?"

"I may have left Tinkerbelle in charge," Jane answered. "I should… probably go back and handle that. Tony, you can have the rest of the day off after all of the trauma we just put you through."

"Thanks," Tony offered as Jane raced back down the hallway.

Jane burst through the doors to find Tinkerbelle standing on a table, wearing a crown and a red cape and holding a yard stick as though it were a scepter. "Alright people, I'm in charge. If I say we're all going to play house, then we're all going to play house. This is not a democracy; you will obey your queen."