THE KAGAMINE SHOW

(corny theme music) It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~

(Len and Rin are lounging provocatively on the couch, Len drinking a banana smoothie and Rin a glass of lemonade. They are both in swimsuits.)

「レン」

Why hello, kittens. Welcome to episode 6 – AKA episode sexy.

(Audience ooo's)

「リン」

We're very pressed for time today, so we decided to do nothing but fanmail – you know, kick back, relax, sip suggestively from our cups-

(Rin licks her lips and takes a drink)

「レン

Why are we like this, you ask? Well, first of all, it's because I'm Len Kagamine, and I am the epitome of sexiness and cuteness-

「リン」

That's actually my line, otouto. I make the fanboys swoon.

(Rin winks)

「レン」

You keep telling yourself that, sis. Anyway, it came from our first question. *Ahem*

Can we learn what to say to our crush?

- ImmortalDarkPassion

Glad you reminded me of it. Actually, there are a few ways to woo and declare your love to those passionate lords or ladies… unfortunately, it will never be really sexy – love declarations are almost always 'meaningful' or 'cute.' Well, here's three different ways-

好き- Suki (I like you)

大好き- Daisuki (I really like you). The characters literally mean "big like"

愛してる – Aishiteru (I love you)

Okay, so guys, there's something I feel like I should mention here. Y'know how Americans can say "I love pizza!" and it's normal? NO, okay. You don't love pizza. You LIKE pizza. So while saying "Pizza ga suki" is fine, you should never say "pizza ga aishiteru." The word 'love' (ai – 愛; an easy way to remember it is that it's the kanji on Gaara's head, if you know Naruto) isn't thrown around so easily. It's just not.

(Len brings out a piece of paper)

LEN'S LOVE CHART

Stuff or people you like: SUKI

Girlfriends or boyfriends you seriously like: DAISUKI

Married couples and shit: AISHITERU

"dai" (大 this character) means "big." Unfortunately it also looks like the character for dog (犬 inu). So, er, think of a big dog, but the big dog has a line on it. Or something. I probably just confused you more.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

And, just to make sure we keep this episode sexy-

(Len pulls a rose out of nowhere and puts it between his teeth)

Yeah. Sexy.

「リン」

Moving on to our next question.

(Rin pulls out the letter)

「リン」

Please tell me how to say and write sister and brother. And this has really been helpful to me.

Also would you happen to know what this д is? Or means?

Aika-tan

Well, I'd love to tell you how to refer to your siblings, because I myself have a very annoying younger brother-

「レン」

Hey-!

「リン」

Younger brother:

Otouto 弟 (little bro)

Older brother:

Aniki 兄貴

Onii san/chan 兄さん/ちゃん(depending on honorific, also can just be "Niisan" – the "O" = politeness)

Ani =兄

「レン」

I get to do sisters.

「リン」

Whatever.

「レン」

Younger sister:

Imouto 妹

Older sister:

(just like older brother but "nee" and not "nii")

Aneki姉貴

Onee san/chan 姉さん/ちゃん

Ane = 姉

「リン」

And the next part of the lovely question – this thing.

д

Len, do you know what the hell that is?

「レン」

Nope. So here's a face.

(o д o)

「リン」

It's probably Korean, Len. Looks like it. Oh no, our sexiness is fading! I'll bring it back.

(Rin winks and pulls one of her straps off her shoulder)

(Audience whistles)

「レン」

STOP EYEBALLING MY SISTER YOU PERVERTS.

(Rin pulls the other one down)

「レン」

NEXT. NEXT!

Maybe could you teach some honorifics? Like, you know, -san and stuff ._. I only know, like, four _ *bows* Teach us, o great Sensei Teeeeeach usssss

- Anonymous

They called me great. (blush)

「リン」

Line up, mind slaves! Liiiiine uuup-

「レン」

Sorry guys. Rin has evil tendencies. Adorable, ne? Well, here's a few honorifics.

-sensei (teacher)

-kun (boys only, it's sort of studently but common)

-chan (affection. People use it on babies, Len, pets, girlfriends, Len, cute girls, friends, siblings, and Len. It can be used on boys but unless he's a shota nudge nudge or your boyfriend, don't use it. It's insulting his manhood)

-san (this is translated as Mrs. or Mr. but FUCK THAT. Buttfuckit to next week. You can also use it on friends you are respectful with or don't really know, or anyone you want to be particularly nice to. It's polite but not to any extremes; and this is the most common way to refer to someone. If you're not sure what honorfic to use, use –san and you'll always be right.

-sama (deep respect. To give an idea on how insanely respectful this is, God is called Kami-sama. I've heard of people using it on their boss to try and sound more polite, but to me it just sounded like they were sucking up).

-senpai (a student superior. It's spelled せんぱい [senpai] but this character ん - n is also read as ん- m. So you can say it sempai, which sounds more natural)

-kohai (a student lower than you. This isn't rude)

I gave you seven, so hopefully you learned something.

All right, let's wrap up today's show. We need one more sexy thing for episode sexy.

(Len whips out a banana. We are leaving that to your imagination. You perverts.)

「リン」

Thanks to everyone who keeps sending us bananas, they keep our smoothies coming. Um, Len, you can stop that now.

「レン」

Yno something sis? I don't even want to.

「リン」

Wow. Uh huh. That looks – oh wow. What are you doing with-? Oooohhh. See guys? We are rewarding your efforts with porn.

「レン」

LEARNING IS FUN!

(Cuts to Miku and Luka fighting with the blender backstage. They are in charge of making the smoothies and it's not going well.)

(credits)

Host – Len Kagamine

Co-Host – Rin Kagamine

Director – Lun Yokune

Camera, Effects, and Guy Who Stops Rin From Killing The Audience – KAITO

Groupies – Luka Megurine, Miku Hatsune, and MEIKO

Executive Producer – Gakupo

Tickets and Admission – Haku

WARNING. We now have a rabid squirrel that checks the fanmail. He has no name as of yet. BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU PUT SHIT IN THE POSTBOX. Bastard likes to hide in there. That is all.


Words – 21 (counting honorifics)

好き- Suki (like)

大好き- Daisuki (big like).

愛してる – Aishiteru (I love you)

愛- Ai (love) Koi is also a way to say love as a noun. And Koibito = lovers. +2

大 – Dai (big). A more common way to say big is "okii" 大きい

犬 – Inu (dog). We learned this already but not the kanji. Neko is cat. 猫 +1

Otouto 弟 (little bro)

(all these mean older brother)

Aniki 兄貴 (this is sort of used in a tougher sense. The only example I can think of that most people have heard of is that the characters of Inuyasha call Seshomaru Inuyasha's "aniki." The Kokiri children in the Japanese version of Zelda also called Mido aniki now that I think about it).

Onii san/chan 兄さん/ちゃん

Ani =兄

Imouto 妹 (little sister)

(all these mean older sister)

Aneki姉貴

Onee san/chan 姉さん/ちゃん

Ane = 姉

^Because we learned honorifics, you can add some of them to your siblings now. Annoying little brother? Don't even give him an honorific (like Rin does). Love your big brother to death? Oniisama. Typical but close relationship? Niisan. Older than you but for some reason likes to dress up in a skirt? Niichan.

-sensei

-kun

-chan

-san

-sama

-sempai

-kohai

If you want the meanings for those SCROLL BACK UP. I'm not doing it again.

A way to say sexy is "etchi." +1


Total: 25