The Mortal Instruments – FanFiction
Training Days...
Chapter 8 – Is Ignorance Always Bliss?
As would be expected, Clary didn't sleep that night. At first, she was in complete disbelief. No, that is impossible, she thought. It was as the seriousness of the situation sunk in that Clary went through several stages of shock. Jace held her in his arms tightly like a vice, but it still wasn't hard enough to stop her from feeling like her body was crumbling to pieces. Panic for not only herself, but for the ones she loved flowed through her veins. She would do anything for those she loved, but she wished that they would not do the same for her. She did not anyone to die for her. Clary knew Jace reciprocated her thoughts. Clary would happily throw herself in the face danger to save Jace; she just wished he would not do the same for her. She had already watched him die once by the shores of Lake Lyn. She had stabbed him with her intent to kill Sebastian a few months ago. The thought of watching Jace die before her eyes again dug up another round of hysteria as she imagined the debilitating heartbreak. If he ever died trying to save her, it would end her completely.
Jace held Clary for a long time. He pleaded with her to calm down. Clary knew he felt useless. She had now become somewhat emotionally stable now and her breathing had returned to a more regular rhythm. Light tears trailed down her face as she thought of her mother, Luke and Simon, the Lightwoods and Jace. They were all her family now.
Jace kissed her cheeks where the tears had fallen. With each tear, Clary's mind settled into a more rational state of thinking. Hysterics would not get her anywhere. Her mind felt split in half. Jace tried to coax Clary into trying to sleep. He whispered comforting words in her ear; almost pleading for her to mentally shield herself with unconsciousness. He told her that the sooner she fell asleep, the quicker the morning would come and then they could plan what the next move was. Although he never said so, Clary knew Jace wanted her to go to sleep partly because he couldn't bear watching her break apart, but he also wanted to go talk to his mother and siblings. After summoning up enough mental courage to be left alone by herself, Clary pretended to drift to sleep, she didn't want to put Jace through this. Soon after that, she felt Jace unwind his arms from around her and get up – softly, trying to not jostle the bed too much. He padded quietly to the door and slipped out.
Clary was now alone in the darkness. Her mind wandered aimlessly as she remembered the fight between Sebastian and herself in their Father's apartment a few months before. He truly was terrifying. The way Sebastian looked at her made her stomach churn. A dark cloud loomed over Clary as she thought about leaving possibly the institute, she thought she wasn't safe there. But then again, where could she go? Jace would not leave her side knowing her life was in danger. The only reason why he was gone now, was because he needed confirmation about Sebastian from his mother. Clary rolled over, her concern for Jace was her highest priority. Without Jace's arms around her, Clary felt her heart break into tiny pieces. She would never tell anyone how truly terrified she was. She needed to be strong, if not for her own sake, then for the ones she loved. Clary knew she would have to be able to handle this.
It was around two-thirty when Jace returned to Clary in his room. Clary was still awake – lost in her thoughts - as she felt him sit on the bed – leaning his back against the headboard. He sat there for a long time, staring into nothingness. Clary knew what had happened. Jace's actions spoke of every word said between him and his mother. Sebastian had well and truly returned. Clary's body was facing away from him, but that didn't stop her from reaching back with her hand to grasp his. Jace's hands were cold, like his body was drained of life by his fear of losing her. He gave her hand a momentary squeeze, letting her know he knew she was awake. They both remained in their positions, each in an emotional state of shock. Both their minds buzzed with panic, anxiety and for Clary, a genuine terror. Neither of them slept. Time was always passing. For them it was no exception, as eventually the first rays of light began to pour in through the window. It was only when the sun had began to rise, did either of them stir.
Clary and Jace walked hand in hand to the Library. Exhaustion plagued their thoughts and bodies as neither of them refused to let go of the other. Both Clary and Jace found great comfort with their hands entwined, it indicated that their significant other was safe. Once inside the library, Clary saw Maryse standing in front of the fire. She was, as always, dressed impeccably. Clary swore the woman never slept. Both Alec and Isabelle joined them a short time later - dark circles developing under their eyes. Clearly sleep was hard to come by since the news. It was Maryse who spoke first, "Clary, I owe you an explanation..."
It took some time and some effort on Maryse's part to explain herself. It turned out, that the reason Clary was permitted to live at the institute was not just because of her Shadowhunter training. Maryse and Jocelyn had made a pact together; they both knew that Clary would be safer at the institute than at Luke's house.
It turned out that Magnus Bane had been in contact with Jocelyn – Clary was still getting used to the idea that they knew each other - and together they had developed the theory that Sebastian could no longer enter the institute. Both Shadowhunter and warlock worked together, pouring themselves into research the last few weeks. They were determined to find out if Sebastian was still permitted into the institute with his Shadowhunter blood, despite his demon blood being banished to Hell and back again. It turned out that their theory was correct. Anything from the human world that was taken to the Downworld and brought back into this world was forever tainted - forbidden entry within the institute and its holy ground. Jocelyn had double checked with the Silent Brothers herself before reporting back to Maryse.
This explained why Maryse had never let Clary go out with Jace and his siblings to fight. It wasn't safe for her with Sebastian loose. All these little things that Clary had dismissed before suddenly made sense. Maryse apologised several times, linking each point of her almost rude behaviour towards Clary as a reason for protection. It was wrong of Maryse to have kept Clary and her children in the dark. It was Alec who protested first, arguing that he should have been notified of Sebastian – even if his other siblings weren't. Alec was right, it was a selfish and irresponsible act on Maryse's behalf to hide them all in the dark. The Lightwood siblings' mother only had one answer to their declarations of outrage that, ignorance was bliss. Only when Alec asked what to do next did Jace and Isabelle become involved in the conversation. Both of them had been unusually quiet.
The Lightwoods and Clary conversed for most of the morning. No one knew what to do. Clary suggested leaving the institute and going to Luke's farm house; Sebastian would not know it existed. The idea was considered, but it was deemed as too far away should backup be needed, or Magnus Bane could not be found to make a portal. Alec's attention had wavered every time Magnus was mentioned. It seemed, that despite cutting his emotional ties with everyone, Magnus still looked out for them. It was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sebastian knew Clary was in the institute, it was only a matter of time before he figured out that capturing anyone she loved would make her leave its protection without a moment of hesitation. It was Jace who dismissed the idea, stating that although Sebastian was exceptionally smart, he could not grasp the concept of loving others. Jace stated that Sebastian would not understand that holding someone at ransom was the most logical way to get to Clary.
It turned out that Maryse had kept the letter that Sebastian had left to her. Clary held it in her hands now, her eyes trailing over the perfectly scripted cursive; Erchomai... I am coming. The words echoed through her head. Maryse had already notified the Silent Brothers of the letter, as well as several members of the Clave who were deemed to be trustworthy by Maryse. As far as the rest of the Clave knew, Sebastian was dead. Maryse said that although it was criminal to break Clave law, this was an allowance because Maryse feared that the Clave would harm Clary in an attempt to get at Sebastian, despite his messed up understanding of love. Both Jace and Clary shivered at the thought.
New regulations were put into place for the safety of the Lightwood's and Clary. After a phone call with her mum, Jocelyn, Luke and several members of the pack were going to move to the farmhouse. It was deemed as a 'crisis point' that would provide safe sanctuary should anything happen in New York or the institute. Much to the discomfort of Alec, Magnus too, offered his house for sanctuary via fire message. Clary called Simon around mid-day notifying him of the situation. He too offered to help, but all Clary asked was that he passed on the news to Jordan to notify the Praetor Lupus. After a short exchange of news from Simon's end, he told her he would talk to her in the next few days.
Although the institute was momentarily deemed as a 'safe zone', precautions were made. Maryse made sure that everyone understood that they were not to leave the institute without notifying her. For Clary, she was temporarily banned from leaving the institute altogether – Maryse made special emphasis on not making her own portals either; even to see her mother or Luke.
It was a full on day and all the Lightwoods and Clary were exhausted. Every element was covered in regard to Clary's safety, what would happen in an emergency and how the few trusted members of the Clave were going to hunt down Sebastian. To Clary, all she was concerned about was the welfare of others, especially those now in pursuit of her brother.
During dinner that evening, everyone around the table was silent - except for the occasional question about the plans implemented by Maryse. Clary was both mentally and physically drained. She cradled her head in her hands at the table, her eyes drifting shut more than once - her lack of sleep was finally catching up with her. Jace carried her to his room that night. He obviously no longer cared for the rules about separate beds. Clary curled up in his strong arms as he went down the hallway. Once Jace entered his room, he lay Clary on his bed on top of the covers. Slowly he took off each of her shoes, smiling slightly at the sight of her little feet. His hands then travelled gently up the sides of her legs to the button on her pants. It was not the first time Jace had removed Clary's pants, but that had been for other reasons... Now it was just to help her get ready for bed. Clary lifted her hips – half conscious - so that Jace could pull them off of her. He left her shirt on and pulled his off before then pulling up the blankets and lying down beside her. They settled in for the night and Clary thought she heard Jace ask her a question, but sleep had already consumed her.
