A/N: Here is my early update, since I'll be gone this week, and I don't know if I'll have internet. I'll be back on Friday night in time to update Saturday.


At a little after midnight, Tommy and Jude left the party. Attendance had dwindled to a handful of drunk Industry people. Even Nora had left a few minutes before.

Jude speed-dialed the limo service (at which Tommy raised one eyebrow, still unused to Jude the superstar) and, escorted by hotel security, left the hotel and ducked behind heavily tinted windows, away from paparazzi.

Once they were in the quiet of the limo, the light flirtatious atmosphere disappeared. It was replaced by an uncomfortable silence that made Jude feel inexplicably guilty.

"How are you, Tommy?" she asked, just to say something. "How have you been?"

Tommy frowned, knitting his eyebrows. "Lets just say... not the best."

"I'm sorry." She whispered. It wasn't enough.

He shrugged. "I'm better now than before. What about you? How has London been treating you?"

She searched his face for anger, but there wasn't any. He raised one corner of his mouth in a sad half-smile. She returned it. "It was hard at first." she replied honestly. "Adjusting to a new country, a new label, living on my own." Living without you "But after the initial shock, it's been amazing. I've really... found myself, you know? It's been great for my career. And I absolutely love London."

"I'm really happy for you, girl." he meant it, he did, but there was one thought that kept getting in the way. It came spilling out before he could stop it. "But I can't believe you're engaged."

She laughed, a little touch of hysteria creeping into the sound. "I know. It's..." She almost revealed the doubts she had about marrying Alexander, but caught herself. "I can't believe you're here. It feels really... surreal."

"No kidding."

"How long are you planning on staying, anyway?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I have no idea. I hadn't thought that far ahead. But it's not like there's anywhere else I have to be."

"So, what then? A few days? A week? More?" The idea of letting him go again terrified her.

"I have no idea, Jude." He repeated.

The limo stopped, and the driver said "Miss Harrison, Mr. Quincy, we've arrived at the hotel."

Jude thanked him and turned to Tommy. "Then come and hang out with me tomorrow. I have an interview at 11:00, but after that we can do whatever. Noonish ok?"

Tommy liked the thought of more time with Jude– however uncomfortable that time might be, knowing she was... "Sure. Noon."

"I'll come up to your room?"

"Alright."

"It's a date, then."

"Room 1603. Top floor." He smirked.

She rolled her eyes. "Really, Quincy? Penthouse?"

"You're one to talk, miss limo service on speed dial." he gestured to the luxurious vehicle.

"Touché."

He laughed and shook his head. "Thanks for tonight. I had a really good time. And it's been a long time since I've been able to say that." He put a hand on her shoulder and smiled sadly again.

Jude's heart broke a little at that, and she leaned over to hug him. "Goodnight."

"See you tomorrow." He kissed her on the cheek and got out of the limo.

When he'd shut the door, the limo driver asked, "Where to, Miss Harrison?"

"Home please." She told him the address, and he started to drive.

She played with the engagement ring on her finger, and felt guilty.

"I am an emotional adulteress!" she'd exclaimed to Kat five years ago after overhearing Tommy and Kwest talking about her. Of course, her relationship with Shay had had bigger problems than Tommy, but she found herself wondering, if Shay hadn't cheated, and the sparks between her and Tommy had continued growing the way they had been...

But I was barely sixteen then. she reminded herself. This is now. She hadn't known, then, what it was like being in a relationship with Tommy. Hadn't truly had her heart broken by him. Hadn't dealt with the full force of the fierce whirlwind of drama they inevitably brought out in one another... When she was a fifteen-year-old Instant Star with a hopeless crush on her producer, she couldn't possibly have anticipated the next four years. She hadn't understood, then. She hadn't left him. And there'd been no Alexander...

The idea of "emotional adultery" wouldn't leave her, though. She hadn't technically done anything out of line tonight. And yet... She bit the inside of her cheek and got out her cell, calling Alexander. He answered on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Hi Alex. Did I wake you?"

"No, I was up. Is the party over?"

"Yeah. I'm coming home right now. You at my place?"

"Yeah. Did you have a good time?"

"It was good, but it would've been a lot better with you there." she lied.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could have come."

"What happened with your parents? What did they say when you told them?"

He hesitated. "Well... They were..."

"disappointed." Jude guessed flatly.

"Not disappointed, just... cautious."

"Which is code for your mother doesn't think I'm good enough for you because I'm a musician." His mother fancied herself a "practical woman," and didn't approve of "little girls with their heads in the clouds."

"She'll come around, Jude."

Jude scoffed. "I'm sure."

"Don't do that." he scolded. "She will." his voice softened. "When she sees how happy you make me, she will." Hearing Alexander profess his love made her feel uncomfortable and guilty again. She pushed the feeling away. "She wants you to come over for tea on Tuesday afternoon." He continued when she didn't reply.

Jude filled with dread. "Oh, babe. I think I have to do this thing for work on Tues–"

"No you don't. Mum actually checked with Nora."

Jude cursed under her breath, then said. "Awesome."

"Jude. Please don't be like that. She's not that bad. And she's my mother."

"I'm sorry."

"We can talk about it later."

"Alright. I'm almost at my apartment. I'll see you in like ten minutes. Love you."

"Love you more."

She hung up and cursed again. There were a lot of good things about Alexander. His family was not one of them.

The first time she'd met his mother, she'd gone for dinner. She and Alex had been dating for a couple of months. She'd met his younger sister Alanna, and they'd gotten along fine, but she hadn't known what to expect from his parents. Alexander seemed extremely nervous, but that wasn't anything new.

His parents' house was part of a row of similar houses lining the street. It was very quaint, and very English. Alexander's mother was slender and blonde, with eyes that were the same shade of green as her son's. Her hair was pulled back into a bun, making her face look thin and severe. She smiled and greeted her son, smoothing his hair with her fingers until he protested like a child.

"Mum," he said when she'd moved one last hair into place, and he'd pushed her hands away. "This is Jude."

The woman's smile turned plastic. "Yes, of course. Nice to meet you, Jude."

"Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Clifton." They shook hands awkwardly.

Alexander's sisters seemed nice. His sister Annabella's husband had been born in Toronto, and they talked about the city a bit, though they didn't have much in common besides that. Alexander's dad, large and muscular with dark hair and a low voice, was the opposite of his thin, blond son.

"Jude, Alexander tells us you're a musician." he said when they were almost finished with dinner.

"Yeah, I'm signed to Bermondsey. That's how I met Alex. I'm a singer-songwriter."

"Are you a rock star?" Alex's five-year-old niece, an adorable blonde girl, asked.

She laughed. "Pretty much, yeah."

The girl's eyes widened. "Cool! Can I be a rock star?"

Jude was about to answer, to tell her that anything was possible, she could do anything she wanted, the way her dad had always told her when she'd asked that question as a child, when Alexander's mother said "It's not a real job, Becca. Eat your food."

Jude was taken aback. "I don't know about that, Mrs. Clifton, I think I've done pretty well for myself."

"For now. You're young. But what happens when you get older, and you discover you've thrown your life away on this music and you have no education? What about your children?"

"Mum!" Alexander protested, shocked.

"It's a valid question, darling." She replied.

"No it's not, it's a personal attack!"

Jude could feel her face turning red. "Mrs. Clifton, with all due respect, I've made enough money to retire right now, and live more than comfortably for rest of my life." She hadn't meant to sound as though she was bragging, but Mr. Clifton raised his eyebrows and said sarcastically "Humble, isn't she?" Jude blushed harder. "I didn't mean for that to sound..."

"What's humble mean?" Rebecca asked. "Does it mean rock star?"

"Becca, shh. Eat." said her mother, stroking her hair.

"I'm sorry." Jude stammered. "I just meant that music is a career. It's something I love, and it works for me."

"And you'll end up like my sister. Thrice divorced, no family but that daughter she treats like any other employee–"

"Mum!" Alexander protested again. "This isn't about Aunt Nora!"

"That life leaves you alone. You need to get your head out of the clouds, Alexander. Quit romanticising it. She'll never be right for you."

Alexander looked as though he'd been slapped.

Jude was shaking. "I think I'd better go. Thank you for dinner."

"Jude, you don't need to leave." Alanna said quietly. Alexander was staring at his mother, his mouth open, expression angry and hurt.

"No. It's fine." Jude said, standing up and taking a few steps out of the room.

Alexander snapped to his senses and looked at her. "Jude, no."

"I'll call you tomorrow or something, Alex. Sorry. Nice to meet you all."

"Why are you leaving? Do you have to go to rock star work?" Rebecca asked.

She turned without answering and practically bolted out of the room, grabbing her jacket. She heard Alexander shout "Look what you've done, Mum! I can't believe you! I really like this girl, alright? Why do you always have to ruin everything that makes me happy?" and heard one of his sisters start to say "Lexi, it's–" before she got out into the cool, damp night and shut the door, resisting the urge to slam it. Belatedly, she realized she'd come in Alexander's car and didn't have the keys. To top it all off, it was starting to rain, drops falling on her head with increasing frequency. She cursed and started to walk down the street, not with much of a plan, just wanting to get as far away from the house as she could.

"Jude! Wait!" She heard Alex's voice come from behind her, and stopped walking, turning to face him. "Hey, come on, don't cry." he said, and she realized in surprise that there were indeed tears trickling down her cheeks, mixing with the occasional raindrops.

"I'm so sorry, Alex. I messed that up."

"No!" he protested. "My mum was way out of line. It wasn't your fault."

"She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you, she..."

"Hates me."

"No." Alexander shook his head and wiped a tear from her cheek, pulling her face towards his and resting his forehead against hers. "It doesn't matter what she thinks of you, Jude. I love you."

She hadn't been expecting him to say that, neither of them had said it before, and it caught her off-guard. She stared, open-mouthed. He pulled back, his face falling. "Oh, God, Jude, I–"

"You love me?" She asked quietly.

He stared at her. "Yeah. I do."

She took a breath. "Wow. Alex, that's... that's sweet... I... wow."

"If... Jude if you're not ready to say it back, you don't have to, ok? I didn't mean to–"

Jude made a decision then. Forget his mother, forget Nora, forget Tommy. It was now or never. "It's fine. I..." she took a deep breath, and dove in. "Yeah. I love you too." The words tasted strange. They were painful to say to someone else, brought memories with them, but they were also sweet, and there was some sort of relief in making a choice to say them. It felt as right as it ever would. She said it again, like testing a muscle, atrophied from being in a cast, bizarrely familiar, yet somehow strange. "I love you."

Alexander was frozen. "Really?"

She smiled. "Really."

He grinned and kissed her in the street outside his parents' house, holding her to him and laughing in relief and happiness. "I love you." She whispered again. She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck, still not sure how this was going to work out, but feeling for the first time that maybe it could.

.

"Ms. Harrison. We're here."

She snapped back to the present. The limo driver let her out. To her relief, there were no fans outside her apartment as there sometimes were when she pulled up in a limousine. She tipped and thanked the driver, greeted the doorman, and went to her apartment, where Alexander greeted her as he always did, smiling sweetly, with a hug and a kiss. He asked about her foot and offered to help her remove the ten thousand pins in her hair. She declined, telling him to go to bed, he looked exhausted, and instead sat in front of her vanity, carefully brushing out the hairsprayed curls, removing her makeup, and thinking about kissing Alexander outside in the rain to help her forget what it had been like to sing with Tommy again.