Galactica (La Vie Boheme)

Gaeta: Who died?

Baltar: My moral character.

Gaeta, Chief, Lee: You had some?

Baltar: You make fun, yet I'm the one

Who got elected president.

Or do you really want to represent

The species that sleeps with anybody any night?

Galactica, Galactica,

There's no way to duck it

This is New Caprica.

Galactica's a bucket.

Helo: Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes…

Lee and Chief: episode opening chant

Helo: Here she lies, know one knew her worth

Halfway there on the road to Earth

On this night, when we celebrate the birth

In that little town on Geminon,

Though we're at odds, you bet the gods to-

Galactica.

All: Galactica

Galactica

Galactica

Galactica

Helo: To days of fighting Cylons

Playing pyramid, making

Time for Laura's romance,

The need for brick phones

To communicate

To going against the grain

Drive the Admiral insane, 'til he's mad.

Too much suspension, and tension

No more than one dimension (thank gods)

Hating the mention of a presidential convention

Not to mention of course

Hating Lee Adama's dad.

To flying your Viper into

The orange suits

Sharon shoots, to the newest recruits,

Minor disputes, to brawls,

Rolling down the halls

To Gaeta dressed in plaid!

Out-smarting the toasters for once, instead of acting dumb!

All: Galactica! Galactica!

Cavil: Ahem.

Sharon: Hey priest! You're not deceased!

Cottel: So that's five algae burger, four algae salad, three soy algae dinner, two vegan algae platter and one algae milkshake with Spam.

Lee: Ew.

Chief: It tastes like algae.

Kara: If you close your eyes.

Cottel: And 13 orders of algae fries. Is that it here?

All: Algae and Beer!

Kara and Cally: To hand-crafted booze

Made in Chief's own still for free

To boxing, to boxing, to dead bodies that we'll freeze

To Raptors, to Vipers, to civvies on the ground

To sleeping with anything as long as it moves around

Sharon and Chief: To toasters, to boasters, to octagonal posters

Cloud-9, land mines—

Helo: Super glow-y red spines.

Sharon and Chief: To Lee, marries Dee, whether their chemistry is right,

Chief: Black market

Gaeta: And Zarek

All: Blowing stuff up left and right.

Chief and Lee: Roslin, Tory, and Billy tried to dodge.

Chief: Sam Anders!

Lee: I'm a commander!

Sharon: To sabotage!

All: To Gina, to Athena, the Astral Queen, too!

Helo and Kara: Why Six left the basestar, back in deep space star

Cause D'Anna was acting up!

All: Galactica!

Cavil: Deceased?

Sharon and Cally: Downloaded.

Chief and Gaeta: Secondary characters!

Helo, Gaeta and Kara: 12 Cylon models, and Doc Cottel, last homo-sapiens

Projecting then, the stims, and on top of that there's

Gaius Baltar

Dog bowl, Cain's mole, the Cylon soul,

Anders and Kara getting smoochy, Ellen Tigh and,

The late Zak Adama.

All: Complete apathy, to entropy, no empathy or ecstasy

Flattop's landing – The Pegasus, CIC

Lee's got no shame, but still playing the Fame Game.

Chief: To Raptor fuel!

All: To way too many gods for me,

Look what the cat dragged up.

Baltar: Six….six…six…six!

All: Galactica!

Chief: In honor of Battlestar Galactica, an impromptu wild party will commence immediately following dinner.

Sharon Valerii, just back from her successful downloading into a new body after retrieving her daughter from a Cylon basestar,

Will scream at the top of her lungs at Helo,

Through soundproof glass, while he smacks at her cell door in an attempt at rhythm

Neither of them are entirely sane.

Lee: And Karl Agathon himself will then run off and prevent Adama from killing the entire race of Cylons because he thinks they should all just get along.

Helo: And Kara Thrace, flying only with her teeth, will attempt a daring rescue of Anders floating through space as he manages to stay alive by only holding his breath.

And Lee Adama will attempt to write an angsty poem about his very messed up life…

Lee: Once I loved a girl

Now, when I see her, I just want to hurl

Cause she married Anders, and I married Dee

I guess there's nothing left in the world for me.

Helo: That…doesn't make us want to commit suicide too.

Chief: And Felix Gaeta will model the latest fall fashions from Aerilon while visions of Gaius dance in her head.

Gaeta: And Tyrol will grow a beard, amazingly, in just one episode, and while he attempts to fix every Viper in the hangar deck so when they launch they spell out the words--!

All: DIE CYLON LOVERS DIE