Alex Pearl Vause…

What else can I say other than the woman has me hooked. Completely and utterly and, honestly, I love it.

After our glorious day and night together I was on a high the like of which I've never experienced before. I raced to Polly's as soon as possible, I spilled every little detail of the day Alex and I shared and showed off my brand new inking. It may be tiny and - according to Alex - stupid, but it was significant. It might have seemed like a symbol I'd chosen at random, or because it was cute or small and therefore easier to get, but that wasn't the case. Not completely, anyway. I'd thought of it on the spot because I realised this is the kind of person I always want to be. The kind that can make spontaneous decisions on a whim. The kind who goes out for coffee and comes back with a tattoo. The kind who goes for a walk on the beach and ends up having the night of her life with a woman she only just met. When I'm around Alex I'm the kind of person I never thought I could be, and I wanted that tattoo to remind me to eternally be that person.

To always open myself up to the possibility of what could be.

It's significant because no matter what happens now, even if Alex and I never see each other again, this tattoo will always remind me of her, the days we had together and the way she made me feel about myself. We may have only known each other a short time, but Alex has opened up a part of me that I was scared to look into. She has shown me more of who I really am than anyone else ever has. That deserves to be remembered. Eternally.

I told Polly all of that, just as she was about to rip on me for my little angry eight symbol. I told her because I felt the need to explain myself, because I needed to say the words out loud. I couldn't have told Alex, or maybe I could have but I didn't want to. To be honest I quite like that she gives me a hard time about it. Her teasing nature is something I find quite sexy so why not give her a reason to.

I showed Larry it the next day, and for obvious reasons I didn't tell him the meaning behind it either. He was pretty surprised to say the least. According to him it was the least Piper-like thing for me to ever do, which was weird to hear because it felt like the most Piper-like thing to me. I could understand why he would say that, though. He doesn't know that Piper, he knows the one my mother taught me to be. And he likes her… which is kind of sad, actually.

He liked the tattoo, too, once he got past the initial surprise of it. He told me it was nice. Cute. Which also bugged me, because it's not nice, and it's not cute. Without knowing the reason behind it, it is a bit lame and I think part of me wanted him to tease me about it.

I wanted him to be a little more like Alex.

I felt bad. I did. When Larry came over to my apartment and kissed me, and touched me in the same places Alex had, I felt guilty. Of course I did. Because Larry is a good guy, and I do care about him. Like Polly said before, he's safe. With Larry I can see the future. I can see the marriage and the kids and the nice house and all that, but is that the kind of future I want? Or is that the kind of future I feel like I should have? I honestly don't know anymore. All I know is that with him I can see a life and with Alex I can't even see past the next day.

It's part of her appeal.

To my relief, Alex called me a couple of days later instead of waiting weeks like she had the last time. Like I'd feared she might do again. She didn't ask me out on that call, which I kind of liked because it meant I wasn't just a convenient fuck to her. She called because she wanted to talk to me, not because she wanted me to come over.

She asked how the tattoo was healing and how 'the boyfriend' liked it. When I told her he thought it was cute she laughed pretty hard.

"Of course he fucking would," she'd said, laughing down the phone.

Conversation flowed pretty easily between us, something I still sometimes found surprising considering how little we really have in common. She told me she was getting ready to go out and meet her friends in a bar that night, and I told her I was waiting on Larry coming over. Her night sounded more fun than mine.

Talking to Alex, just hearing her voice over the phone, has a slightly erotic feel to it. Everything she says sounds slightly suggestive with that smooth, deep tone of hers. Rich and luxurious. I didn't want our call to end, but eventually it had to when I heard a knock at my door that had to be Larry.

That wasn't the last I'd heard from her that night though, she texted me later on asking me how my night with 'the boyfriend' was going. If he'd made my legs shake the way she had, yet.

Of course he hadn't, and she knew it.

We met up the next day. And the day after that, and almost every other day for the next couple of weeks. Spending our time either in her bed or around the city. Visiting central park, hanging out in bars. We went to an open mic night, a burlesque show and a party one of her friends was throwing on their roof. I experienced more of the real New York City with her in those couple of weeks than I had in my whole life.

Then one day something different happened. She called me, and told me she was taking me out for dinner. Told me I had to dress up a little. Wanted to take me on a 'real date', she'd said, because she was going out of town soon.

Butterflies riddled my stomach as I got ready that evening. I couldn't wait to see her, I couldn't wait to see what a 'real date' with Alex was like, and I couldn't wait to see what Alex looked like dressed up.

She texted me the name of the restaurant and the time of our reservation and told me to meet her there. Assertive in the sexiest of ways. Larry was never like this. Choosing a restaurant to eat out in with him was a chore. He always said things like 'I don't mind where we go, where would you like?' Another person might find it sweet that he always let me chose where we ate. It annoyed me. I wanted him to take charge.

The way Alex was.

The place she'd picked was gorgeous. Fancy, with a thick air of romance about it. The lights were dimmed, candles were lit and the tables centred with a rose. I gave Alex's name when I arrived, and was pleased to find out that she was already here. For a change, I wasn't waiting on her.

Alex spotted me from across the room, and I took great pleasure in seeing her admire me as I walked over. Standing up straight and swinging my hips with every step, making sure to show off as best as I could the body hidden beneath the figure hugging dark green dress I was wearing. A bottle of red wine was already waiting at the table. It looked expensive and tasted like it was, too.

"This place is amazing." I said to her, once the waitress had taken our order.

"That dress is amazing."

"Thank you," I said, and then motioned with my finger for her to come closer. "You wanna know what's even more amazing?" I asked when she was close enough that I could say it without being overheard. "This dress? It's all I'm wearing."

The way she looked at me then, like a cloud of lust came over those sparkling green eyes of hers, turned me on. If she could I was sure she'd climb over that table to get to me. Her eyebrow arched up and she slowly sat back, taking a sip of her wine. I think she was a little lost for words. I think my admission surprised her and turned her on in equal measure. It was just the reaction I'd hoped for when I'd made the decision to forego underwear earlier on that day. I knew she wouldn't be expecting me to do something like this, much less be so bold as to tell her as soon as I sat down.

It surprised me, too. I've never been this… sexually candid before. Must be the Vause effect.

Alex could barely keep her eyes and hands off of me during that dinner. I felt her stare burn through my back when I excused myself to go to the bathroom, she touched my hand across the table whenever she could, ran her foot up the smooth skin of my leg and I caught her looking at me countless times as I ate - though to be fair I deliberately took my time with every bite, catching her eye whenever I subtly licked my lips. The food was incredible, but having her eyes devour me the way they were was better.

No one has ever made me feel sexier than Alex Vause does.

After dinner we wasted no time in getting back to her apartment. Alex practically dragged me there. Not that I wasn't a willing participant.

We didn't even make it to her bedroom. Falling onto the sofa as she hiked up my dress and fucked me there. Twice.

Later on that night as I lay in her arms in bed, both of us naked and glowing from the night's activities, drawing patterns on her stomach while she ran her soft fingers up and down my spine, I asked her when she was leaving. For some reason I hadn't thought to ask until now. Sex had clouded both of our minds from the second we'd laid eyes on each other. Just like it usually did.

"Saturday."

Three days from now. My stomach sunk.

"When do you get back?"

"The following Saturday."

I turned to look up at her, resting my chin on her chest, "Where are you going?"

Alex smiled at me. "You ask a lot of questions don't you?"

I shrugged and lay my head back down again, "I'm curious."

"Prague."

I was going to ask why she was going, but figured that wasn't something she'd be able to tell me, and I probably wouldn't really want to know anyway. Something criminal. Something to do with drugs. I didn't know the ins and outs of what she does and right now it's better that way.

"You're so lucky. I hear Prague's beautiful."

"It is."

"You've been before?"

"Yeah. A couple of times."

I couldn't help but notice the sombre way in which she spoke. The banter and sarcasm I'd become accustomed with her was glaringly absent. I sat up, propping myself up by my elbow, resting my head on my closed fist.

"You know, if I was taking a trip to Europe in three days, I'd be so much more excited about it than you seem to be."

She gave me a small smile, and threaded her fingers through a few strands of the hair that hung by my shoulders. "It's work. I see more of the inside of hotels and the airport than I do of the city. It's not exactly fun."

"Then why do you do it?"

"I don't know." She seemed to consider it for a moment or two. "The money. The rush. It can be stressful sometimes and it can be… lonely," as soon as she said that she shifted her gaze and ran her hand through her hair, as if she was embarrassed by the show of honesty, as if she didn't admit it very often and was a little surprised herself that she did "… and yeah, it can be frustrating when you're in these beautiful places and you can't get to see much of it, but that rush of completing a shipment is… it's addictive. Besides I'm fucking brilliant at it. Like, really fucking good. I genuinely don't know what else I'd be this good at."

"I can think of one thing," I smirked and kissed her, turned on by the confidence she had in herself. "Are you gonna miss me?" I asked quietly, my voice barely above a whisper, letting my fingers roam and draw their patterns down her stomach, keeping my face so close to hers I could feel her breath on my lips.

"Mmh," she hummed, her eyes fluttering closed as my fingers travelled further down, past her naval.

I grinned widely, pleased with myself for the reaction I was eliciting from her, "Is that a yes?"

The chuckle Alex gave turned to a moan when I reached down at the fiery hot spot between her legs. "You're fucking adorable."

I noticed she hadn't answered my question. Either she wasn't going to and figured that'd be a harsh thing to say to someone, or she was and didn't want to admit it. I honestly couldn't say.

I leaned in and kissed her, "I know, right?"

And then she said something I truly wasn't expecting.

"I really like you, Piper."

I don't know what's gotten into her tonight, I don't know why she was suddenly being so open about herself, but I liked it.

I didn't know what to say at first, so I just smiled at her and then pulled the hand that had been between her legs up to hold her jaw and kissed her again. "I really like you too."

The sound of Alex's phone ringing echoed through the room. It seemed that it always did whenever we would really rather it wouldn't. She groaned as she reached over to grab it from the table beside her bed. While she squinted to read the name on her caller ID - her glasses still discarded on the table beside her - I saw the name Sylvia on her screen and wondered who she was. I wondered even more when she silenced the call and put it back on the table. It was the first time I'd seen her do that. She almost always answered that phone. Was this Sylvia a friend? Someone she worked with? (If that's even what you call it when your 'work' is criminal.) Or was she more than that?

It was none of my business, so I didn't ask. Even if this Sylvia woman was someone she had an intimate relationship with, I was in no place to call her out on it. Alex and I had known each other for less than a month, and more importantly, I had a boyfriend. I was hardly in any place to expect exclusivity.

It didn't stop me hoping that this girl was just a friend, though. It didn't stop me hoping that Alex never saw her in the same way she saw me. It's unfair, I know, but I can't help it.

Once more the phone rings and after checking the caller ID again, Alex gave a gruff sigh. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I better get this." She threw an apologetic look at me as she started to climb out of bed, throwing on her sleek black night dress as well as her glasses. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," I said. My heart tugging in a funny way. A familiar way. The way it had when I first saw Alex at that pool in Cancun with her arm wrapped around another girl. I wanted to know who this person was that she had to go away from me to talk to, even though I had no right to wonder.

"What's up Sylvie?" There was a slight sharp tone to her voice as she walked out the room. Her night dress billowing behind her. "No… I was asleep."

That was the last I heard of the conversation. The rest of it too muffled between the walls of Alex's apartment to decipher. Whoever this Sylvie was, Alex was lying to her, and that made me think this girl was someone she was close to. Someone she didn't want knowing that she currently had a girl in her bed.

Thinking of it brought something else to mind. When Alex was away, would she sleep around? I didn't and I couldn't expect her to be loyal to me but the thought of her even kissing someone else made my stomach turn uncomfortably. I wanted her to myself. I wanted her to keep all of her sexual energy for me. I wanted all of her attention.

But I couldn't ask for it and I wasn't going to. If I can sleep with someone else than so can she. Not once since we started this… this… thing we've got going has Alex seemed bothered by that fact, so I can't be either.

We were only having fun, anyway. It's not like what we were doing was anything serious. We like each other. We like having sex with each other. We're good at it. Really fucking good. But it doesn't go deeper than that. It's just sex and if she wants to have sex with someone else then she can. It's perfectly acceptable. Expected, even. Alex is a highly sexual woman, I can't expect her to say no to someone if they offer themselves to her and she's tempted. And I don't.

I don't…

"Sorry about that," Alex said when she appeared at the doorway again, wearing that same apologetic expression that quickly turned to a concerned frown, "You okay? You've got a weird look on your face."

"I'm fine." I smiled at her and encourage her back into bed. When she gets close enough I untie the loose knot holding her gown together and bite on my inner lip as it glides gracefully off her body.

Alex kissed me as she crawled back into bed, and just as she was going to position herself on top of me I pushed her by the shoulder onto her back and sat on top of her. One leg at each side of her waist. It was unexpected, I could tell by the surprised yet amused look she wore. In the few times we've had sex I've rarely taken charge. At first because I was worried about my inexperience with women - something I got over quickly with Alex's guidance - and then simply because it felt natural that way. Alex liked being in control and I liked letting her be, but right now I needed to be the one calling the shots. I had a sudden need to show her how much I liked being with her, how sexy I thought she was and how good I could be at bringing her to the epitome of pleasure.

Alex was free to go and do whatever she wanted with whomever she wanted, but I was going to make damn sure that when and if she did, the only thing she'd be thinking about afterwards was how that girl wasn't as good as Piper Chapman.