Hey guys! So, this fic is coming to an end. I think next chapter will be the last one. I liked to write this one, it was really fun hehe. I want to thank everyone who reads this, followed or favourited! Also, I made a long chapter this time, so enjoy!
Gilbert was sitting in a chair, in a corner of the entrance hall, his friends surrounding him. Antonio, specifically, had a sad look on his face that said 'I said something was wrong', but he didn't dare to say a word before Gilbert did. His girlfriend had come back and calmed down after Toni spent quite some minutes telling her that it was a long time ago, and that he loved only her. Ludwig put a hand in the shoulder of his brother. He was usually harsh, but his touch was soft and empathic.
"Man, I'm not dying, you guys can calm down" He said, after some moments.
"Gil, I…" Antonio started
"Toni, it's not your fault. You only tried to warn me, but I didn't even listen"
"You never do anyway" Finally said Ludwig. Gilbert looked up at him, smiling. He was waiting for his younger brother to say something, to inspire him, to cheer him up, as he always did in hard times.
"Gil, I know you won't stay down like this. You do have an unbreakable spirit after all, you won't let some guy make you feel bad. Also, if you have something to say, you should just go there and do it."
"I have nothing to say."
Everyone stared at him. Even Feli's smile was now a surprised expression. If Francis hadn't disappeared again he would have been having a laugh attack.
"What the fuck do you mean you have nothing to say? You never shut up for a second!" Lovi said.
"Yes, I mean… What he did to you was horrible" Completed her sister.
Gilbert didn't think about that yet. He knew that Roderich had dumped him, that's all he could manage to think about. But what he had said was that they were never really together, that staying with him was only a game to play until he had found something to do again. The boy had always been a little bit far from him, but Gilbert never truly thought he was lying. Of course, Gilbert could see that he was being fake, but not with his whole heart. And if he didn't like Gilbert, not even a little, he wouldn't have… Oh god, Gilbert's first time. Now he started to get angry. But of course Roderich didn't hate him, he knew that. Roderich knew that too, but probably wouldn't admit it now. But why wouldn't he? He was getting angrier every time he thought of his face, of his voice, of his touch. Everything was a lie, all just an act. But what made him really full of rage was the fact that, deep down, they weren't lies. He could see right through Roderich, and he knew the boy was lying to himself. Lying to himself was worse, because he would only see the truth if he wanted to.
And he would, because Gilbert wouldn't let the person he loved keep on this fake smiles and compliments.
Maybe Antonio was scared of Roderich's fake side, but Gilbert felt challenged by it. And he loved challenges.
He got up from his chair, usual grin in his face. Everyone looked at him as if he had been cured from an illness or something. He started to go towards the door, leaving to the gardens, when he heard his brother's voice.
"Good luck, big bro!"
He showed his thumb up, not looking back. He had now to find where Roderich was.
But, he had forgotten how big that place was, and it didn't make any easier to have loads of people walking around now. But he had an idea of where he could be. He started to walk towards the gazebo which they had practiced before, hoping to find the other there. He didn't remember how to get there, but started to go towards the maze. Following it, until he found the end. While walking through his path, he thought he saw Francis. He wanted to fill his friend in of what he had missed, but getting closer to him he noticed he wasn't alone. What the fuck, he thought, seeing who was with him. The British guy who he had a crush for and then hated because he never liked Brits anyway was standing on a wall while Francis pressed his body and his lips with the boy. Gilbert wondered if now, was it love or hate?, since he seemed to change opinions really fast. Ah whatever, I'll never understand him.
He continued his walk, reaching the end of the maze. From there he could see the gazebo, along with two figures in it. He rushed towards it.
Roderich surely didn't expect him to recover that fast. He was surprised when Gilbert got there with a grin on his face. And Elizabeta even more, but she thought that company was extremely unwelcome.
Gilbert had to focus. He hadn't yet thought of what he would say, but it had to be something impacting. He wanted to tell Roderich that he knew that wasn't the real him, that he had been hiding behind a mask and pretending it was him. That he didn't need to lie anymore, and he could be just who he was. That there was no need to worry about his father, for he did love him. And that he had been an ass to do that to him, but that was ok. Gilbert was kind of an ass too.
That was what he had to say. Trying to find the words, it just came naturally.
He punched Roderich right in the face.
Gilbert only realized what he had done after doing it. Roderich had his body curved, a hand on his cheek. The impact had made the boy feel like his whole face would be ripped out, and was pretty sure that it would leave a mark. His eyes were closed until that moment, but opening them, his view was a bit blurred. His glasses had flown away, but he could still see the white haired boy who was going to get what he deserved.
"What the fuck you think you're doing?" Roderich said, slowly looking up.
"You can fool yourself, Roddy, but you can't fool me. Not really."
They didn't blink, as if their eye contact was unbreakable. Roderich had the scariest look Gilbert had ever seen, but he compressed his fear and managed to have a grin on his face.
"Oh really? Because I think I fooled you just fine"
"I know you're always fake, Roddy. I know that you always want to be a pleasant and perfect person, that you want to be accepted, but nobody is that perfect, as you pretended you were."
"Shut up"
"And you always wanted to impress your father because you don't think you are good enough for him. In fact, you don't think you're any good at all."
"Shut up"
"So I came around and I know you hated me, but then you stopped hating me. The problem is, you wouldn't let yourself like me because in your mind, your father liked me better, right? I was probably a rival to you or something. But you still liked me. So you just turned your like into hate and left it like that, and it was all fine. But what you don't understand, Roddy" Gilbert could see Roderich's face turning red as he spoke. Red of anger. He was about to explode at any second, but that was exactly what the albino wanted. He wanted him to let out everything he was keeping to himself, to drop the fakeness he had. "Is that you dad does love you. That you don't have to do anything for people to like you."
"SHUT UP" He shouted, closing his fist into Gilbert's face. "You know nothing, just shut it"
"I know nothing?! At least I don't hide my real self, and people like me for who I am, unlike you!" He was screaming too, punching Roderich in the stomach. He knelt down, in lack breath.
"You think you know me so well, don't you? You really think I actually liked you at some point. How foolish, but that is just like you, isn't it?" He smiled. He could still taste the blood when he spoke, almost making him choke with his words.
"Of course you did. You're just lying about it. Say, if you hated me as much as you said, you wouldn't have done that with me." Roderich was still on the floor, probably trying to gather enough energy to stand up and hit the other boy again. Elizabeta had run away soon after they started fighting, for their relief. They couldn't know what she would have done at this point.
"Oh, sorry about that. I didn't know it was your first time when that happened"
"W-what? I don't remember saying that was my first time. You don't know that, you're just guessing."
"Oh, trust me darling, if you were me you would know."
Gilbert kicked him again, this time hitting the boy's head. He fell to the side, almost rolling over. Gil walked closer to him, just waiting for him to get up again. After a moment, Roderich got back on his knees. His hair was a mess, his face bloody and dirty, making Gilbert wonder if he was in that same state. There was a heavy silence between them, and for some reason they couldn't look at each other in the eye. Finally Roderich looked up, and didn't shout as Gilbert had expected. His voice then was really low, sounding like a cry.
"Why does he like you better? What did you do? Why do people like such an annoying brat like you?" He grabbed Gil's legs and pushed him down, while he stood up with the impulse. He then kicked Gilbert's stomach in revenge.
"Because I am me and I don't try to be someone else, you dissimulated bitch" He got up too, and aimed for Roderich again, but missed his face. Only then he noticed the taste of blood in his mouth; it's corner was bleeding, and he just wiped it out with his sleeve.
Roderich looked like he would kill someone, with such face he was making. He had never been angrier in his life. In fact, he had never had a fight in his life, but it was nothing like he imagined. It hurt, but not only his fists, or where he had been hit. His heart hurt too, every time Gilbert spoke something. Every time Roderich hit him. He wanted to cry, but not in front of the enemy. His throat was already sore, his eyes were wet. But what hurt the most was that in the end, he would have to acknowledge Gilbert was right about everything.
Gilbert was standing still, but now he was wide-eyed, and didn't know what to do. Roderich didn't understand at first, but then realized the tears running on his face. Too late to hide it now.
For a moment, neither of them knew what to do.
Gilbert started walking towards Roderich, slowly. Step by step. He was still formulating what to say. It was as Roddy had gave up on his mask, and his crying face made Gilbert want to hold him, telling him it was alright. And he would have.
But everything turned black first.
