A/N - Patty B, my husband thought your comment was lovely. He is a man of few words but his cheeks got a little red when I showed him your review.
I would like to thank everyone who voted for Ally in the 5th grader challenge. Unfortunately there was no way she was going to be able to compete with the kids who's parents petitioned the school districts to send out letters to every family in said kid's the school asking for votes, or the kids who parents got them onto local talk radio shows to petition for votes.
Ally didn't make it into the top eight, sadly, but she does appreciate every vote she got. I guess the old fashioned way (asking friends and family) just couldn't keep pace with kids on the radio asking whole demographic audiences for votes. I have no worries that she will make her mark on the world. I posted a poem that she wrote as an assignment for school in the 'Chat thread' on my forum. It is, in my opinion good enough to publish. I know that she will go far. Who knows, perhaps in a couple of years when she is old enough, you will see her posting fan fiction stories here as well as her momma.
Thank you again for your support.
Alice I
Chapter Eight
Once again, Charlie sat quietly as Don drove, but this time it was in silent contemplation of his whispered discussion with Amita before they left to go to the young woman's apartment for clothes and a few other personal belongings she had asked for. The feel of her hands in his as he sat next to her on the sofa was like a miracle to Charlie. He had been a second away from losing her tonight and that realization still left him dizzy. He was profoundly relieved that she was not only alive and safe but at his house under the watchful, albeit unofficial, eye of a trained FBI agent. What concerned him was the fact that she had been avoiding staying at his place for the last week and he didn't want her to feel that she was being forced into an uncomfortable situation. Her answer to him was what occupied the mathematician's thoughts during the drive through Pasadena's streets.
"Hey, are you alright with this... with being here? I could talk to Megan if you would be more comfortable staying with her."
Amita raised her hand up and touched his lips lightly with her fingers quieting his speech. She still spoke in a whisper, but it seemed less gravelly than it had before.
"Charlie I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. The only good thing that came out of this attack... it showed me how stupid I have been."
"Hey now, don't say that. You are brilliant, beautiful..." Charlie's voice stopped abruptly as he choked back the raw emotion threatening to erupt. His eyes were soft and shining with love. "You're perfect; you make me whole. What you are not, is stupid, so don't say that."
"I am stupid, for letting my father's issues cloud my actions, my perceptions. I love you, Charlie, and nothing my father could say would change that. I need to be true to myself, to us. This is where I want to be. This is where I belong."
Amita's words echoed in his mind over and over, filling him with a warmth that he hadn't really felt before. The burning rage had all but subsided with her words. He still wanted to find the man and bring him to justice, but Amita's acknowledgment that she wanted to stay with him had tempered the rage in an unexpected way. He felt both ebullient and guilty. When she told him 'This is where I want to be' the joy literally bubbled up inside of him like a boiling pot of water, yet he could not forget that it had taken a madman nearly torching her alive to change her mind about living with him. These two emotions juxtaposed were confusing him and he was so immersed in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Don when he spoke the first time.
"Hey, Buddy!"
Charlie turned his eyes to Don who was relieved to see that they no longer seethed with rage.
"You look like you need to talk. Now would be a good time for that, Buddy."
Charlie knew that Don was right and trying to help. He didn't feel like talking at the moment because he didn't understand his own feelings. Glancing down at the bandages on his knuckles, he sighed.
"I don't know what I'm feeling right now, Don. It seems like I've felt every emotion possible in the space of a couple of hours." Charlie paused for a moment. He stared out the window for a moment watching as the trees zipped by, his eyes slightly out of focus as his emotions churned. He wasn't sure he was ready to talk to Don about this thing with Amita. He could however start with something that Don would have a unique ability to understand, having been there himself.
"How do you do it? How do you deal with a rage that borders on madness? Don, I've never felt anything like that before. Sure I've been angry, I've been furious but this... feeling, this blind rage, I don't know how to process it. I'll tell you the truth, it scares me that I can feel the desire, the ability to actually kill someone, but at the same time there is a kind of perverted lure to it. I would never seek out a killer to confront, not normally anyway, but I wanted to find this guy and kill him with my bare hands, Don, and the fact that this guy could probably tear me limb from limb didn't phase me one bit. I don't know if that is because the rage made me feel invincible or heedless of the danger inherent in approaching such a man. There is a certain feeling of power with that kind of rage and honestly, I think that scares me more than feeling the rage itself."
Don looked over at him and Charlie wasn't sure why the look of pride shone in Don's eyes. It made no sense to him that he could confess to feeling the desire to kill someone as a reason to see approval in Don's mind.
"Charlie, you are handling this much better than you realize. You want to know how I do it, how I deal with that kind of rage? As I said before sometimes I'll go down to the cages and hit a ball as hard as I can. Physical activity is the best way to bleed off anger or rage when it has you in a grip like that, but afterwards you can't just let it go. You have to talk about it, and you are. I started seeing Bradford after the Crystal Hoyle case and it took me a lot longer, at least three sessions to come to terms with or even to fully acknowledge this feeling than you just did in the last couple of hours. You still should talk to someone about this though, I don't count."
Charlie looked over at Don with a frown on his face. "Why don't you count?"
"I didn't mean it like that. Yeah, Charlie you should talk to me, to your friends and family, but we are too close to you, too emotionally invested to be objective. You still need the guidance of someone outside your inner circle to give you coping mechanisms that will work in the long term. Your family, your friends we give you the support and comfort that you need, but the tools of recovery have to come from outside."
"Ya know, sometimes I forget that you minored in psychology when you got your degree." Charlie smiled at his brother but his eyes still looked troubled.
"Well since you were so kind to point that out, why don't you tell me what's really bothering you."
Charlie looked up at Don a little startled. He thought that he had very successfully redirected the conversation, but Don was not given to playing that type of game. How many witnesses or suspects had tried to divert Don's attention to no avail? He truly was confused by his emotions concerning Amita's sudden change of heart so he decided that maybe talking to Don would actually be helpful.
"It's Amita... she's been so reluctant to stay at the house the last week or so. It seems that the closer her parents' arrival came the further away from me she would get."
Don's eyebrows shot up showing open surprise on his face. "If she is uncomfortable staying at the house, do you want me to talk to Megan?"
Charlie shook his head with a quirky smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "It's funny how much we can think alike sometimes. I already asked her that, but she said that she wants to stay at the house now, that it's where she belongs."
"Well that's a good thing, Charlie."
"Is it? Don, just three or four hours ago she was headed back to her apartment again rather than come over. Is this fear talking, is that why she changed her mind? Don, I want her to move in with me, we've talked about it a lot. Hell, we were even applying my game theory based on the friendship math to the situation. That was all just a way for us both to get used to the idea; that and we also had to figure out logistics. I mean she isn't crazy about sharing a home with me and Dad. The point is, we've been talking about it, but then as the date of her parents' arrival got closer she started backing away from it altogether. Don, she hasn't spent the night in almost two weeks. So I have to ask myself why she has changed her mind. Is it because of fear or is it because she really wants to be with me?"
Don didn't say anything for a minute. He seemed to be waiting for something and Charlie finally looked over at him.
"Charlie, this isn't my psychology classes talking right now, this is observation and experience. Amita went through a horrific experience tonight, and that kind of trauma is life-changing for most people. She may be a victim of violence, Charlie, but that doesn't define who she is. How she deals with that trauma does."
Charlie recognized that Don was right, what he said made sense but there was a huge part of him that couldn't get past his insecurities about the sudden change in Amita's desire to live with him. As these thoughts clamored for his attention he almost missed that Don had started talking again.
"She seems to be moving closer to the people who love her and embracing that support which is a healthy reaction. I have seen many victims who do exactly the opposite. They withdraw into themselves; they pull away from everyone who loves them. Fear may have been a motivator but what it did was allow Amita to take a hard look at her life and her priorities. The victims of violent crime who move on to a happy and successful life are the ones who can look at their lives and find the value that they were missing before. When you almost lose something precious, you realize what it means to you. This man nearly killed her. Maybe she's looking at her life and realizing that she doesn't care if her parents disapprove of her living with you anymore."
Charlie's head snapped up and he stared incredulously at Don.
"When I spoke to her at the hospital I got the distinct impression from her, that her parents are kind of old fashioned and they might not like finding that their daughter is 'living in sin'. Look Charlie, Amita is reaching out to you for love and comfort, for acceptance without question; don't put caveats on it. Accept it, accept her, and stop over-analyzing this. You'll just drive yourself and her crazy."
"Ya know, Bro, you keep talking like that and you'll end up giving Megan a run for her money in the profiling business. When did you get so smart?"
Don turned the wheel, pulling into the parking lot of Amita's apartment complex and smiled at Charlie.
"Occupational hazard when you have a genius in the family." He parked in the spot for her apartment number, which happened to be close to the rear door. "You got the spare key?"
"Yeah, right here."
Charlie opened the door and slid out, his feet landing softly on the pavement. Don's SUV was a high enough ride that Charlie always had the sensation that he was jumping out of a monster truck and usually felt a boyish impulse to hop down with both feet as though jumping down from a game of King of the Hill. Tonight however the light impact with the pavement sent a sharp spike of pain up his back. He had a sizable bruise from where he had hit the sidewalk after Amita's attacker punched him. He shook it off and limping heavily again, rounded the vehicle headed for the door. Charlie instinctively headed for the stairs but Don reached over and tugged on his sleeve. He pointed to the elevator to the right and raised an eyebrow.
"You've had enough exercise for one day don't you think?"
The fact that Charlie had not recovered his cane from the crime scene and the fact that his limp was more pronounced than he had seen it in quite awhile prompted Don to want to avoid the stairs even if Amita's place was only on the second floor.
Charlie wasn't about to argue with that logic. With his Wenge wood cane in evidence for forensic testing, he hadn't thought about looking around for the cane that he got from the hospital when he was first released. He knew that it was in the house somewhere, most likely sitting in a corner of the garage or attic. He would worry about getting it out tomorrow. He would like his own Wenge wood back but knew that the forensics team needed time to collect evidence first. Officer Clement told him in the hospital that she would bring it by the house when the lab was done with it.
The elevator dinged loudly and the brothers stepped off. Don wasn't sure which apartment was Amita's so he waited for Charlie to step out of the car first to lead the way.
"Her place is down at the end of the hall near the stairwell. You know, I'm a bit nervous about her parents coming now. I don't want to cause her any more heartache and if staying at my house is going to make her father go ballistic then I may still try to talk her into staying with Megan."
Don couldn't help but notice the tone in his brother's voice, which sounded like he was trying to convince himself of something.
"Charlie, Amita's an adult, why don't you let her decide for herself what's..."
Don stopped speaking in mid sentence. His hand shot out stopping Charlie in his tracks as he drew his gun. He turned to look at Charlie and brought his finger up to his mouth to indicate that he should be quiet, then pointed to the door that stood unlocked and open a crack. Charlie felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as his face reflected shock and fear. Don indicated that he should stay well back from the door against the opposite wall in the hallway. For a fleeting moment, the thought ran through his mind that he could now do with some of the bravado that the rage he felt earlier had provided, because at that moment he felt almost paralyzed with fear.
Don stepped forward carefully and eased the door open with his left hand. He checked the corners quickly as he entered the apartment. It was dark inside at this point because the sun had now set, so while scanning the interior of the space for any movement he flipped on the light.
Jitendra stood poised to rush whoever opened the door in order to use surprise as an advantage to get away. The voices drew closer and became louder before they seemed to stop right outside the door. Jitendra's muscles tensed poised to dart forward and he did't hear anything for a moment. Then suddenly he heard a door close on the other side of the hallway. The voices had obviously belonged to whomever resided next door. His senses were heightened as the adrenalin rush began to subside, which is why he was able to hear car doors slam shut outside, so he moved over to the window and looked down. That Jew was getting out of a large black SUV with another man. It was time to get out. They were only a few moments from discovering him so he quickly made his way over to the door and out into the hallway.
He assumed that with only one floor between the men and him they would use the stairs so he headed quickly for the elevator only to stop dead in his tracks when there was a ding and a green arrow lit up indicating that the elevator had arrived on this floor. He turned and ran headlong for the stairwell and just made it with the door not quite closing behind him as the elevator doors opened and the Jew stepped out. He peeked out through a slight crack in the stairwell door to see the two men approach the apartment door. He listened closely to their conversation as they approached, but his blood turned cold when he saw the larger man stop the Jew, push him back against the wall, and pull out a pistol.
Looking back at the apartment door, he swore under his breath. He had not closed it tightly and the larger man had noticed this. Jitendra watched as the man entered the apartment using the skills of a trained law enforcement officer. Once the larger man had entered the apartment, Jitendra slipped silently away from the stairwell door and made his way down the stairs and out the door. Keeping himself close to the wall of the building, he made his way quickly toward the end and around the back corner. He was glad that he had the forethought to park his van around the back of the apartment complex behind the large dumpster. If the Jew had seen the van, he might have recognized it.
This man, this dirty kike who had spoiled the woman, was going to be a problem. He would need to decide what his next best option was. This insult, this sacrilege could not and would not go unanswered. He was talking about the Ramanajuan woman staying at his house so it was obvious that she would not be coming back to her apartment, not while she was sleeping in the bed of that kike. He would need to find out exactly where this man lived, and he knew just where he could find that information. He patted the pocket that contained the woman's keys and turned on the engine. He backed out carefully and drove slowly around the building and out the entrance, turning left and headed back to Cal Sci.
TBC
