Thanks for reviewing; I love to hear your thoughts about this story and thanks for reading

Thanks for reviewing; I love to hear your thoughts about this story and thanks for reading.

Back from a vacation in Canada, Alberta, I'm up for another chapter.

Hope you enjoy…

Like before I don't own anything about GWTW…

Chapter eight

The weekend had come and gone in a blaze of pain and changes, yet, either had left. The pain, sharp as it had started, had transformed into a never breaking guilt and shame. The mixture prevented her from sleeping at night, and when she slept, it was a restless, unsettled sleep. With Rhett in her bed, she didn't dare eloping to the much-wanted decanter in the dinning-room.

First she had found comfort in watching her sleeping husband, reminded of better times, soon, the remembrance slipped into hunting guilt, his present reminded her of exactly why he was there, because of her actions. Her shameless actions.

The changes were just as confusing, Rhett had told her things would change, but she really couldn't see any changes at all. Rhett was back in her bed, or at least, physically he was, but more distant than ever. He hardly spoke two words to her when they were alone, she had been sure, even willing to bet money on it, that he would take away her loneliness, but she had been wronged.

If anything, he had added to her loneliness. It was a mystery to her how this could be, he was here, wasn't he?

She had noticed a change in him, perhaps it was that change he had talked about; she hadn't really understood his rambling. He was quiet and preoccupied, and he was kinder to everyone around him except her, with her he was so distant that it felt like he wasn't there at all. On the surface, it would seem they were doing well together and that he cared, but she knew better, his eyes never followed her anymore, they were on Bonnie all the time, now.

He never mocked her anymore or brought up anything in their past. What good was it if he was home every night, when he could as well be on the Moon.

Her distress was starting to show; the hunted look in her eyes was back, it turned her eyes into a darker shade of green and they appeared bigger, it would have been most appealing, if it wasn't for the shadow in them which indicated fear, raw fear and deep, deep confusion. The last time the hunted look had clouded her vision, it had been mixed with survival instinct, clearly shinning through. That instinct was amiss this time, it had been part of her strength and had reassured people she would do whatever it took to stay alive and keep those around her alive, it had called for respect and fear. Without it she seemed utterly lost and it called for pity in others.

She hadn't eaten well and it was showing, yet, only Mammy noticed it, and urged her to eat. An urge she strongly refused, instead she drank coffee none stop. Her former appetite had transformed into coffee hunger, the stimulating quality had vanished but her craving.

It was Tuesday, today she would supervise the mill, usually a loved task, today a task she dreaded. She hadn't been to the mill since Ashley's birthday. She would have left, already, if Rhett weren't held up at an important meeting in the bank.

He had forbidden her to go alone, and truthfully, she was glad for the excuse not to go on her own. Both knew if she had wanted to she would've gone, despise his forbidding her.

Not knowing what to do with the time on hand she left her room, with no destination in mind she wandered slowly. When she came to the door of Rhett's room, Bonnie came out with all tangled hair.

"Bonnie, what have you done to your hair?"

"Dressing it Mother." The girl sounded like it was obvious what she had been doing.

"It's your hair better now?" Scarlett couldn't help herself but chuckling at her charming daughter.

"No! I'm looking for Mammy."

"Let me help you, precious" Scarlett offered, surprising herself, she never dressed her daughters' hair.

Meeting her daughter's eyes in the mirror Scarlett's lips moved slightly upwards, the blue orbs were so beautiful and full of live. Bonnie reached for the brush and gave it to her Mother; dutifully she began to stroke the silky curls of the little girl.

With her wandering mind unsettled, she stole glances of the room; it was odd to be in here, this was the domain of Rhett, and Bonnie. Not that the room was personalized in any form, it was clearly a sleeping room for a man, it didn't hold any decorating items except the pictures of Bonnie on the large bureau. Mainly, a large bed dominated the room and if it wasn't for the much smaller bed bedside it, it would've been a typical bachelor bedroom. Now, it felt abandoned, only the small bed appeared to be in use.

"Mother?" Turning her eyes back to the blue ones starring at her in the mirror, Scarlett replied; "Yes Bonnie"

Narrowing her eyes Bonnie seemed to reflect on something important, "why is Ella's hair red?"

Narrowing her own eyes Scarlett studied her youngest child, "why, what do you mean, precious?"

"Daddy has black hair, you have black hair and I've black hair. Wade has brown hair but Ella's hair is not brown or black. It's red." Tilting her head Bonnie's eyes grew big with questions.

Scarlett had never really given it any thoughts that Bonnie might find it odd, that she was the only one of the children looking like any of her parents. She wasn't in the habit of inspecting anything about her children but their clothing's, if she did, she was bitterly reminded of memories better left forgotten, memories of her two former marriages. Her oldest children wouldn't let her forget save to their looks.

"Oh, honey, you know that Ella and Wade call your daddy for uncle Rhett, don't you?" This time it was Scarlett who tilted her head to her right.

"Yes, why mother?"

"Well, your daddy isn't Ella's daddy precious. That's why Ella has ginger hair." She hoped the questioning would end here; she was getting pretty uncomfortable.

"Why?" Chock was written all over the little girl's face, it was almost amusing if it wasn't such a difficult subject.

Briefly, she wondered how she would have felt it her own mother had had an older child with a different father than her own pa; suddenly, a chill filled her.

"Why mother? Who is Ella's daddy and does daddy know?" It was easy to see that the child was troubled, but she had always assumed Bonnie had understood.

"Yes, Bonnie your daddy knows. I was married to Ella's father before I married your daddy." Smiling, she hoped to reassure her daughter.

Turning, Bonnie looked up at her mother, "where is Ella's daddy now?"

"He passed away, darling. And I married your daddy."

Narrowing her eyes again, Bonnie examined her mother's eyes.

"Do you like black or red hair best mother?

Unknown to Scarlett her eyes soften; "your hair is beautiful and so are you, precious."

"But Mother is daddy prettier than Ella's daddy?" Bonnie was still worried.

"Your daddy is handsome, better than for his own good. Frank, Ella's father wasn't handsome like your daddy, Bonnie."

"Oh!"

All of a sudden Scarlett took in her own words, in haste, she added, "but you can't tell Ella. It would made her very sad, Bonnie."

"I can't!" the little one pouted, before her face brightened up, "but I can tell daddy."

"Tell me what Bonnie?" Rhett drawled from the door, where he was leaning at the doorframe

"Daddy!" Bonnie cried, happily she ran to him and threw herself into his awaiting arms.

"Mother says Ella's daddy isn't pretty like you." Remembering her mother's words, she lowered her voice, "but we mustn't tell Ella, it will make her cry."

Scarlett was embarrassed she wouldn't have answered the question if she had known Rhett would hear her respond.

Truth was that Rhett was handsome and Frank never was, but she never wanted Rhett to know, that she gave him any more thoughts than he gave her, which was none. He could play the caring husband in public but the story was diverse when they were in private. He didn't care about her.

Even, when she felt his hot stare she refused to meet his eyes, she wouldn't give him the pleasure.

"Daddy!" Bonnie not one liking to share, demanded her daddy's attention.

"It will be our secret, honey," he laughed.

Feeling like an intruder Scarlett hurried past her husband and daughter. Would it ever change? Would this peculiar sense of not belonging ever disappear?

TBC ;-)