Later
John, Cody and Alex finished eating dinner then talked for a while as they cleaned up their mess before retreating to separate bedrooms for the night
"Hello?"
"Hey baby." Randy laughed on the other end of the phone
"You're drunk."
"Is it that obvious?"
"Yes." He answered. "Do you remember how much you drank?"
"John told me I needed to have some beer or he'll have failed as my older brother so I had a few...but then we did shots of something he called fireballs or something."
"You did shots of whiskey? It's like I don't know you anymore."
"Babe," Cody whined and Randy tried not laughing. He was enjoying his husbands' drunkenness
"What? I mean when you left you'd only had a few drinks and now here you are a drunk mess on the phone."
"I've been a bad boy." The older man moved the phone away from his face so the other could not hear him laugh
"You have been a bad boy. What are we going to do about that?"
"Nothing because I'm good most of the time, right?" Randy was almost in hysterics
"I guess we can let this one time slide since yes, most of the time you're very good."
"Okay. Thank you."
"Oh you're welcome."
"Did you go out tonight?"
"Yea but just to get me and Frankie something to eat."
"Shit." Cody cursed. "I forgot his dog food. Babe, I'm sorry."
"It's fine. That deli I like with the good macaroni and cheese is in the same shopping center as the pet store."
"Did you get the macaroni?"
"Absolutely...a ton of it." Cody laughed. "I also saw one of those dogs you like so much while I was in the pet store. Not one but a bunch of puppies."
"You did?! You saw Eurasiers?!"
"Yea."
"Did you get me one?"
"Hell no. They're 1500 bucks a piece."
"But you never see them anywhere. Why did you even tell me if you didn't get one?"
"I don't know. We don't need another dog anyway."
"I don't have a dog."
"What the hell is Frankie then?"
"Don't curse at me. And Franks is your dog."
"We're married so he's your dog too. You enter into a relationship with me and him. That's how it works."
"If that's how it really works then he would have bought me a puppy since I'm so good to him."
"Stop it with the puppy nonsense. I'm not going to,"
"Shut up."
"Excuse me?"
"Shh!"
"Who do you,"
"Oh my God...I can hear them having sex."
"What?"
"John and Alex."
"Your night just went downhill."
"So quickly too."
"Your brother's a stud so they'll be a while."
"I want to come home." Randy giggled
"It'll be alright."
"You don't have to hear it."
"I've heard John before. Didn't we talk about this? He's had sex with me in the room."
"That's nasty. If I didn't know any better I'd think the two of you got it on at some point."
"Babe, that's gross."
"Well the two of you are a little suspect."
"I don't do siblings. Give me some credit will ya?"
"Babe?"
"Yes?"
"Do you love me?" Randy smiled
"More than I did yesterday." Cody smiled
"I'm going to go to bed, alright?"
"Yea, me too."
"Tell Frankie I said goodnight."
"I will."
"And don't let him sleep on my side of the bed."
"No one and nothing occupies that spot except you."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight." When Cody ended the call he opened his message window and sent one to Randy
Buggy: I love you
Doodle: I know. Sleep well
Buggy: you too
Next Morning
Cody rolled over and covered his face with a pillow in some sad attempt to stop the pounding headache he had
"How do people drink? I don't get it." He groaned when he heard his phone vibrating against the bed and blindly reached for it
Doodle: good morning. Are you awake yet?
Buggy: unfortunately
Doodle: lol. Hung-over?
Buggy: my head is killing me. I don't even understand how a head can hurt so bad
Doodle: ask Alex for some ibuprofen
Buggy: I'm not even sure she's alive. John may have killed her with the way they went at it
Doodle: oh my god, tmi
Buggy: you're telling me. What are you doing up already?
Doodle: wanted to take Frankie for a walk before I went to the gym
Buggy: you're not going to see if Damien's there are you?
Doodle: no. fuck him. I'm going because I go to the gym
Buggy: are you going out tonight?
Doodle: yes
Buggy: now it makes sense. You never go to the gym on a Saturday
Doodle: I already look good so I don't need to go to the gym for this one night
Buggy: I love your confidence
Doodle: do I not look good?
Buggy: not really
Doodle: now I know why your head hurts. It's full of lies
Cody started laughing
Buggy: don't make me laugh because my head is still hurting
Doodle: sorry kid
Buggy: I hear someone out in the kitchen
Doodle: that's a good sign
Buggy: I need food
Doodle: go get some food babe. I'll call you before I go out
Buggy: okay
Doodle: love you
Buggy: love you too
Cody groaned and rolled to his side and placed his feet on the floor. Before going to the kitchen he stopped at the bathroom
"Good morning Cody."
"Good morning. Do you have any ibuprofen?" Alex giggled
"Hung-over?"
"I feel fine aside from my head hurting."
"In the bathroom cabinet we have some." Cody got some water then went back to the bathroom and took two of the pills then sighed when the medicine didn't kick in instantly
"You alright, bud?" John asked coming out of his room
"Yea. I just have a headache."
"Well that's good. We know you have a decent tolerance for beer and shots."
"That'll get me far in life." The older man laughed
"You and I have to get to the tux shop at 12:30. Alex was kind enough to not make the appointment really early. You and I can get some lunch afterwards." Cody nodded and John laughed again. "I know you don't give two shits about this stuff right now."
"I'm sorry."
"I understand. Go lay on the couch until breakfast is ready...that's what I do."
Later: Tuxedo Shop
"Johnny."
"What?"
"I'm not sure I like any of these." John laughed
"They're not bad."
"It's not that they look bad or anything...I just don't know how I'll look in this style."
"It's an evening wedding so we'll be wearing tails if that makes you feel better."
"We will?" Cody asked with his eyes lighting up. "That does make me feel better. None of those cummerbunds, right?"
"I don't know. I need help around here and some supervision."
"Do you need any help Mr. Cena?"
"Um, yes. My fiancée wants me and the groomsmen in the jackets with the tails,"
"Okay. Are you having an evening wedding?"
"Yea...a 20s themed evening wedding."
"Oh I bet your fiancée will look beautiful in her dress."
"She will. I have to wear a white vest and my groomsmen need black."
"Alright. Well let's try on a few different things and see what looks and fits best." For the next 35 minutes John and Cody went in and out of their fitting room trying on different jackets, pants and vests then swapping and then trying them on again
"John."
"Yea?"
"Did you find anything yet?"
"I think so. The other jackets fit my body so weird."
"Well you're kinda shaped like a Dorito." Cody said fixing his bowtie
"I'm what?!"
"Your body looks great but you're bulkier up top and then you taper off."
"Like a Dorito?" The young man nodded
"Like a Dorito."
"So rude. How do I look...besides like a cheesy snack?"
"You look very handsome and distinguished so nothing like yourself."
"That's what I'm going for."
"Mama will definitely cry."
"Also my goal."
"Are these two tuxes the ones you want?"
"Yes. I hope the other guys like them."
"Randy does. I sent him a picture...after he called me a penguin he said that this was a good look."
"I'm glad he's still such a smartass."
"A real smartass."
"You deserve it."
Coyote's Southwestern Grill
"Where are you guys having the ceremony and reception?" Cody asked as he chewed an avocado roll
"The Wellshire Event Center. Al lost her shit when she saw it so there was no way for me to say no."
"They do the ceremony and reception there?"
"Uh-huh. It is a really nice place so I'm glad we went. It was sort of on a whim."
"Well that's good."
"Yea and they do full service which includes the ceremony, pictures, reception, and cocktail hour...cake, flowers and hotel accommodations. I mean I'm sure when you go all the way with them they charge a little more but it beats having to run around with different vendors and making sure we follow their rules if we did have outside vendors."
"I'm really happy for you, Johnny. You're so cute and loving with Alex."
"Thank you. I know it's a stark contrast to how I've treated girls before."
"The fact that you even brought her home speaks volumes." Cody laughed. "Do you remember when all the girls would hang around your locker?" John started laughing
"Oh my God...I was so bad."
"You were. And I disappointed the little sisters of those same girls by being gay."
"I mean you could have been a gay player."
"No thank you. I was a nerdy shy jock with occasional awkwardness."
"Oh please. The girls loved you gay or not."
"Well I didn't have any problem with girls because I didn't like them. I know they loved me. Do you remember that huge fight in my biology class?"
"From tenth grade? Yea."
"It was over me."
"You never told me that!"
"I know. Only Evan knows and that's because he was there."
"What the hell happened?"
"I always sat in the same seat but the girls in the class who liked me would rotate seats around me every day," The younger man laughed. "Well one day Aubrey I think her name was didn't want to move so she and some other girl got into then another jumped in...two on one isn't fair so a fourth jumped in and the melee ensued."
"You're lying right now!"
"I wish I was but nope. You can ask Evan if you want."
"I have a new level of respect for you."
"Why? I didn't tell them to do it. In fact, I quietly picked up my books and moved away from the fracas." The older man laughed
"Wait – did you just say fracas?" The men looked at each other and started to laugh like children. When their meal came they ate and talked and laughed like they hadn't in a long time
"I'll get it." Cody said taking the check when it came
"Are you sure?"
"Yea...you have a wedding to pay for. The least I can do is pick up this tab." He handed the waiter his debit card and waited for him to come back. John watched his little brother calculate the tip in his head and sign the receipt
"I just had a surreal moment."
"What are you talking about?"
"Your last name isn't Cena anymore." Cody looked down at his signature
"No it isn't."
"That's crazy to me."
Later
Cody was sitting on the couch while John made him a list of acceptable options for his bachelor party when his phone rang
"Hey babe."
"Hey. I need your help."
"With what?"
"I'm going out with my friends tonight and I don't know what to wear."
"Randy."
"What?"
"You're seriously calling me because you don't know what to wear?" John chuckled
"Yes. I never go out so I'm not even sure how to do this. The guys are meeting up here and staying over, by the way."
"I don't think that's really a by the way but alright. Where are you going?"
"SouthSide Johnny's and then maybe to a strip club."
"Is that even a place for younger people?"
"They told me that Friday's and Saturday's were alright. My other problem is that I don't want to eat there."
"So don't eat there."
"You're not here to make me food so I have to."
"Go to McDonalds or something."
"Blech." Cody laughed
"I don't know what to tell you. Stick with something simple from the menu is my only advice. As a matter of fact, google their menus before you even go. You may want to eat before you leave the house."
"I don't like this." Randy groaned
"What?"
"Well one I don't like the fact that this is so difficult for me. I used to go out all the time and it was never this big an issue and two I don't like the fact that I'd much rather stay home. I've turned into a homebody at the ripe old age of 24."
"You'll be 25 soon so,"
"That doesn't help."
"Stop bitching. We can get an annulment and then that way you can go back to the partying lifestyle you seem to miss." John looked up from his paper
"Oh shut up. I swear to God you get so dramatic sometimes." Cody laughed
"If you're just going to argue with me then I'm going to hang up."
"I'm not even arguing with you. I called to ask you a question and you're over there talking bullshit about fucking annulments."
"Don't curse at me, Randy."
"Normally I wouldn't but you pissed me off. I never said that I missed the partying lifestyle and I never once hinted at not wanting to be with you so don't say shit like that."
"How do you think I feel when you talk about what you used to do? You don't say it but we both know why it is you don't do those things anymore, don't we? It's because of me."
"That's not necessarily a bad thing,"
"Then stop bringing it up!" At this point John had stopped pretending that he was still making his list and was now clearly listening
"Bring it down, Cody."
"Do you want my help or not?"
"That's what I called for."
"Your sarcasm is not needed. Anyway, since you don't know what kind of place it really is then I'd go with jeans and a gray or black shirt. I would have suggested white but you're possibly going to a strip club so that's out of the question."
"Will my DIESEL jeans be alright?"
"One of your darker pair should be fine."
"Okay. I'll text you when I get back home."
"Okay."
"And I'm sorry about cursing at you."
"I'm sorry for yelling even if you made me mad."
"That's not how apologies work." Cody laughed
"I'm sorry for yelling...period."
"Mmhm. Love you, babe."
"Love you too."
"Bye."
"Later." Cody sighed loudly. "Remember me telling you about not always liking a person?"
"Is this one of those times?"
"Yes."
"What was that all about?"
"He's going out and didn't know what to wear."
"And that turned into the two of you yelling and cussing at each other?"
"Yea...it doesn't take much for us."
"Well at least you apologized at the end."
"We always do because we're never intentionally mean to each other. Apologizing isn't hard."
"Not for Randy it seems like. You sounded stubborn as hell which is normal." Cody laughed
"What are you talking about?" John looked at his brother and quoted him
"I'm sorry for yelling even if you made me mad?"
"Don't you have a list to make?"
"I do. It's hard to think of things that won't get me in trouble."
"Then why don't you let me do it? I've never been in trouble."
"Ah, fuck it." John said throwing his pen down. "You'll be 21 by then so I expect you to plan something good."
"You're my brother so I of course will make sure you have a good time and are able to drink until we have to hold a quick meeting on whether or not one of us should call 911."
"This sounds awesome already." Before the door opened John and Cody could hear Alex and a friend talking and laughing outside. "Oh God." John groaned
"What?"
"This is the friend that Alex said would like Randy. She's a whore so she likes all guys."
"How do you know she's a whore?"
"C'mon – you're talking to a reformed whore right now. I don't like her but for Al's sake I pretend." Cody was barely able to keep up with his brother's rapid talking
"Hey bae." Alex said walking in. John chuckled
"Hey. Hi Bree."
"Hey John."
"Bree this is my little brother Cody, Cody this is Bree." Cody stood up and extended his hand for a handshake but was pulled into an unexpected hug. The older man shook his head
"You are so cute."
"Isn't he really pretty?" Alex said emerging from the kitchen carrying a drink for her and one for her friend
"He is actually."
"Um, thank you." Cody replied straightening his clothes
"I thought the three of us were going out for dinner tonight, Alexandra."
"We are...well it's the four of us now. You don't mind do you, Cody?"
"Um, no. Where are we going?" He asked in an attempt to stop his brother from blowing up
"Ambrosia Asian Bistro."
"Oh, cool."
"Do you like sushi?" Alex asked smiling at Cody
"Mmhm. Randy and I don't go out often but when we do, one of our favorites is sushi."
"Who's Randy?" Bree asked
"My husband."
"Oh," She said sadly. "You're gay?"
"The gayest."
"I thought you paired me with one of John's groomsmen named Randy."
"I did. It's the same person."
"You can't hook up with him but you two will still look cute together. Do you want to see a picture of him?" John tried not to laugh at his brother rubbing it in
"Well sure. I'm always down for looking at cute guys." While Cody looked through his phone for an acceptable picture to show, Alex looked at John then at his brother and narrowed her eyes
"Here." Cody said handing his phone over. "Don't swipe left."
"Oh wow, he's hot. I wish you two could make babies."
"That would put a cramp on spontaneous sex." John burst out laughing
"Cody!" Alex exclaimed
"Sorry Al." The young man said with a laugh
"It wouldn't necessarily. There's always birth control."
"Bree!"
"Bree's right."
"He's definitely a hottie, Cody. What time are we leaving? I want to freshen up."
"In like ten minutes."
"I'll be back." When Bree was gone Alex stared down John and Cody
"What was that you two?"
"What?"
"You're pissed about something John and don't say you're not because I can tell. And, Cody, I don't even know."
"What did I do?" Cody asked
"You know what you did."
"The sex thing? It wasn't that bad and it wasn't nearly as rude as saying to a gay man: I wish the two of you could make babies."
"On that point I will concede. So what's your problem?"
"I don't think we should get into this right now."
"Why?"
"Because it's going to lead to an argument and we don't have the time."
"Why would we argue,"
"I don't like Bree." John blurted out
"You don't?!" Alex asked genuinely shocked
"No."
"I'm ready for some sushi." Bree said meeting everyone in the living room
Ambrosia Asian Bistro
"So how did things go with the tuxes?"
"I think it went well. Codes and I made deposits on ours and I paid a holding fee for the other three so they don't have to order anything when the rest of the guys go to be fitted."
"Oh. Well done. Did you tell them where to go?"
"Yes I did."
"You've left me nothing to complain about, John."
"That was the plan."
"Are we still in budget?"
"I guess. Cody paid for our lunch today." Alex laughed
"That's not what I meant but thank you Cody."
"Well I had planned on spending money for the tux and the holding fee was only fifty bucks so I think we're still on budget."
"Nope. There goes our cake." Cody laughed
"You don't have a budget if $50 blew it...and in the event it did, I will buy you whatever kind of cake you want."
"Oooh," Alex said laughing almost evilly. "I don't think you know how expensive cakes are." Cody put his hands up
"I've looked at wedding cakes, Al. How many people are coming? I don't think you need 37 tiers."
"No, just like three. Did you and Randy have a cake?"
"Yep. Two tiers and we kept the top one."
"What happened to the bottom?"
"You don't want to know." Bree and Alex both squealed then started laughing
"Oh my God." John groaned
"Did you guys really?!"
"We are not talking about this." The young man said with a laugh
"It sounds so hot though." Bree stated
"Then let your imagination take it away because you're not getting any details from me."
"You're going to be my brother-in-law so I'm not going to think about it. That added on to the fact that I really like you and Randy, individually and as a couple, so I'd rather not think about you in the throes."
"Please don't. I'm sure it's not what you'd think anyway."
"Can we stop talking about this, please?" John practically begged. "Don't you want to talk some more about the wedding, baby?" Everyone at the table laughed at John
"Let's go back to this cake."
"I'll make a deal with you, Future Sister-In-Law,"
"Okay."
"If you let me pick it, I'll gift you a cake."
"That's so nice!"
"That is really nice, bud."
"Wait," Alex said. "You get to pick it?"
"Yes. I know your wedding is 20s themed so it'll fit with that."
"Oh my God," The woman said fanning herself. "I really want to take you up on the offer but I'm very uneasy about letting you design the cake without my input."
"What do you think I'll do to it? I'm not trying to sabotage you."
"Allie Cat – this is my brother." Cody smiled
"You have such a handsome face that I can't say no to. You can pick our cake."
"You guys can pick the flavors." He said looking at his phone
Doodle: this place sucks
Cody laughed
"It's Randy, sorry."
"How is he?"
"His friends invited him out and according to this message the place sucks."
Buggy: I'm sorry to hear that
Doodle: are you really?
Buggy: yes. Just because I'm not with you doesn't mean I don't want you to have a good time
Doodle: don't be sweet. It just makes me miss you even more. Come home soon
Buggy: aww, you're making me miss you more too. Quit it. let me know when you're home
Doodle: Of course. I love you
Buggy: I love you too
"He's so cute." Cody said putting his phone down
"Is he doing alright without you home? Was he able to find his ass to wipe it?"
"Johnny."
"What?! It's so weird seeing him like this."
"Oh you mean a grown-up?" John paused
"Yea I guess so."
"Randy is still very much a man and a fun person he just doesn't fuck every boy with a nice ass and a cute face anymore."
"He better not or I'll kill him. While I'm happy the two of you are together, if he cheats or hurts you I'll end his life."
"We know, Johnny. He takes your threats seriously but don't kill him alright? I kind of like the guy."
"Hold up," Bree said. "You're his best man and Randy's a groomsman?"
"Yes."
"Is it because he's married to your brother?"
"No. Randy's my best friend. We've known each other since third grade."
"You married your brother's best friend?"
"I did."
"How does that happen?"
"Apparently my little brother grew up and got hot in the eyes of my best friend Randy."
"You weren't mad?"
"No. I was irate and I punched him in the face when I found out."
"Do you remember the stand-off the two of you had on the stairs at mama's house?"
"Oh God." John said laughing. "I'm glad we didn't get in a fight."
"He never wanted to fight you."
"Yea...I wasn't really giving him a choice." The older man laughed loudly. "Mama! They're gonna fight!"
"Is that what you yelled?" Alex asked laughing too
"Yes! I didn't know what to do. John was coming down the stairs and Randy was taking his coat off...John told him that they were going to fight in the backyard because we don't live in a trailer. It was terrible." At that point everyone at the table was laughing
...
John and Alex's Apartment
The three had settled in for the night and were starting a movie when Alex turned to John
"Are you going to tell me why you don't like Bree?"
"Oh Jesus Christ, Alexandra, what does it matter? You didn't know all this time."
"But now I do know."
"One," John said holding up a finger. "She's very abrasive and I don't like it. The first time she and I met not only did she proceed to talk about what a "nice ass" I have all night but she kissed me on my lips."
"I'm sure it was just friendly."
"It doesn't matter how she intended it. I did not like it and where I come from you don't kiss your friends significant others on the mouth. Two," He said holding up another finger. "Bree is a whore."
"I'll admit that her morals are...questionable but you haven't been a saint all your life I'm sure."
"No I haven't so I know her type. She was hitting on my brother after knowing him a whopping 46 seconds."
"I apologize for that Cody."
"It's okay."
"So you don't like her because of that?"
"Don't you dare trivialize my reasons for not liking her."
"I'm not,"
"You are. So you don't like her because of that? What other reasons do I need? Her talking about my butt is not only disrespectful to me but to you as well. I don't like that."
"I wish you'd mentioned this earlier because now she's in our wedding and you don't even like her."
"It doesn't matter. I love you, Al. I'm doing it for you because I love you." Cody stood up and took his brother by the arm
"Come on, Johnny." He said aiding the man off the couch. They walked out onto the balcony and the younger man shut the door behind them. "Calm down, okay?"
"I'm really really pissed off right now."
"I know. Why? There has to be more than her talking about your big butt. You know that thing is huge."
"I don't like her for that but what really did it was the night I gave Alex her new ring,"
"Uh-huh."
"We went to a friends' party. Well as I was walking into the kitchen to get us drinks I heard Bree talking to another bridesmaid about how she didn't understand why Al needed a new ring or why people thought she was Little Miss Perfect for working as a pediatric nurse."
"Did the other girl say anything?"
"Yea. She told her that she shouldn't talk about Alex that way and that working as any type of nurse is hard but especially one dealing with children."
"You need to tell her."
"How do I tell her that one of her supposed best friends was talking shit on her?"
"You'll find a way. I know that if it was me and I found out later, I'd be mad with you for not telling me."
"I don't want to do this."
"If you don't I will and she definitely won't like that."
"Fuck."
"Let's go." Almost against his will John went back inside
"Allie Cat?"
"Yes?"
"Okay, so I don't like Bree for the reasons that I mentioned but there's more."
"Oh?"
"The night I gave you that ring and we went to the party,"
"Go on."
"I overheard Bree talking to Jessie in the kitchen about her not understanding why you needed a new ring or why people think you're Little Miss Perfect for working as a pediatric nurse."
"That bitch said what?"
