When ElJay woke up the next morning she heard a bustle of activity downstairs. The green tea flavouring from yesterday's post-midnight snack still tasted sweet in her mouth and she was about to head for the bathroom when she heard a familiar voice.

"Should I go wake her up for you?"

"Please, we have a busy schedule today."

ElJay jolted up in bed. What was Arai-sensei doing here? At six in the morning too? Hastily, she threw off her covers and rushed to peer off the railing.

"Sensei?" she called. All twenty-four heads of her mechanics class turned up to look at her. She searched bewildered for her teacher finally finding him accepting a cup of tea from Neela.

"Elliot," he nodded his head in greeting," we knew you'd forget about the autoshow so by a majority rules vote we came to pick you up."

"And by majority he means 24-0," Takuya piped up, his hand rummaging in a bag of chips Neela had just passed out. ElJay noticed they were all wearing street clothes.

"It's not going to take you hours to get ready is it?" Yoshio asked.

"Oi! It's fine if she wants to look nice," Satoshi punched him in the shoulder.

"Yea man, stop being so stingy."

"We got a shitload of time bro." Arguments suddenly broke out amongst the group.

"Fuck you, I was saying that she already looks nice," Yoshio pushed some guys in annoyance.

"Yoshio, as I recall, it was you who told me to stand on a street corner the first day we met," ElJay spoke up sternly, only the playfulness in her eyes giving away her joke. They all had the decency to look ashamed. In freakish synchronization they bowed 90 degrees and began chanting 'we were wrong'. Only one person remained standing and ElJay wondered how she missed him standing in the middle of the group with his hands in the pockets of fitted, black jeans.

"So you better get ready, Jay," his cool voice sliced through the air. Their eyes locked. She was dressed in loose sweat pants and a baggy, ratty t-shirt with her hair sticking up in all directions. He remembered how she looked horrified at the sight of twenty-five guys in the spacious garage and how she had hurriedly checked her outfit no doubt to make sure she wasn't exposing anything she shouldn't have been. He scoffed, despite finding the action cute. Hiro noticed the corners of her lips wavering. Just smile if you want to.

Takuya snorted loudly, wrapping a friendly arm around Hiro's shoulder and practically mauling him over," it was this guy's suggestion actually."

Hiro laughed lightly, pushing past his arm and looking up. She had turned her back to them, but he saw her shoulders shaking slightly even though she covered it up by stretching.

"I'll be ten minutes," she told the door in front of her, before rushing through it.

"No uniform!" Everyone called out after her.

Mr. Arai looked around, taking a tentative sip of his tea, he turned to Neela," how is she feeling?"

"Honestly, she keeps to herself mostly," she answered, eyeing him somewhat worriedly from across the table," she comes home late at night and we rarely see her in the mornings."

"How long have you known her for?"

"It's been about a couple of months since she came back. It's Han that knew her first. He never spoke about her directly, but the people who have been in this garage for awhile have told us that one day he came home with this little girl sitting in the passenger seat and they were inseparable ever since."

"Sounds like she really trusts him. What does Han have to say about her behaviour?"

Neela cringed ever so slightly," They haven't outwardly shown it, but everyone can tell there are unresolved arguments between them. She disappeared on him for two years; I think Han can't forgive that yet."

Mr. Arai looked at her in surprise," why did she disappear?"

"To build that car of hers," Neela sighed.

"And where are her parents in all of this?"

Neela looked around to make sure no one was in hearing distance. Mr. Arai looked hesitant," I'm sorry if my questions—"

"No," she cut him off," It's ok. She's never talked about her past. If Han knows something he's never let on, but he's been looking after her since she was 11. She's never gave us reason to believe she was in pain. I've never seen her crying, she's just indifferent all the time. I don't know how someone can live like that."

Hiro loitered near the other guys near the half-made cars his attention half-tuned in to Neela's words. He saw ElJay appear at the top of the stairs. She was wearing black skinny jeans with artful lace cut-outs and a loose, white pullover. She had exchanged her domo bag for a black leather messenger bag.

He watched as Satoshi walked over to her with a smile and asked if she had enough time to get ready. Satoshi was alright. He was friendly to everybody and their homeroom representative. In Hiro's opinion he was humble looking and quite simple when it came to style, but he was confident enough that it didn't lower his self-esteem.

Takuya also bounded over to them, ruffling ElJay's hair," No car at that show is gunna be as badass as yours." He gave her his signature eye smile. Takuya was alright too. He was always happy and could make even hardass Yoshio laugh. Lastly, his eyes trailed over to Yoshio who kind of lingered awkwardly to the side of the trio with a slight scowl. That guy assumed he had it all figured out, but Hiro knew that his blatant speech was all just a defense mechanism. He watched as ElJay walked over to him and poked him in the cheek.

"No hard feelings," he heard her say," so smile."

" I should say the same for you," he snapped, glaring at her.

Takuya's hands clamped down firmly on his shoulders and began massaging," Don't mind him, Jay. This guy sleeps on a bed of nails so he wakes up on all the wrong sides every day."

"Don't touch me bro."

"Well someone's got to. You're not getting any anytime soon."

"What did you say, fucker?"

"I said I love you."

ElJay exchanged amused glances with Satoshi.

Everyone had begun to head for the door. ElJay searched for Hiro, finally finding him walking with a group behind them. He met her gaze briefly, raising his eyebrows comically before turning to talk to the person next to him. ElJay frowned.

"Jay? I asked if you slept well."

She turned to Satoshi. No.

"Yea, not bad."

"We're free after 12. You wanna go get ramen and head to the arcade?" Takuya asked, excitedly.

"Don't be such a simpleton with your ramen," Yoshio snapped," You should offer her something of substance."

They headed towards the subway. It was still early enough to beat the morning craze.

"I don't mind," she reassured them, shivering slightly as a cool wind played with her hair. Before she could even think about being cold, a warm fabric was placed around her neck.

Hiro saw Satoshi make the move to take his jacket off and for some reason the thought of his cheap material on her skin irked him to no end. In a fluid motion he had slid off his deep red, Italian made, wool scarf. His steps getting faster as Satoshi managed to get an arm out. He slung it around her neck, wrapping it around a few times.

"Thank you," ElJay breathed in the material. It smelled musky with that hint of new car interior that she loved.

"No problem," Hiro flicked her nose, smiling as she scrunched up her face in protest. He slowed down then, giving her a two finger salute and waiting for the guys behind to catch up before engaging in animated conversation.

"….hard to believe."

"Pretty boy's preserved well."

"Yea, he looks so freaking young for his age."

ElJay looked away from Hiro in mid-smile as a hand gripped her arm and when she looked back she saw the stairwell descending to the subway and Satoshi's worried gaze.

She then caught onto the last bits of conversation," what do you mean?"

"He's twenty years old," Satoshi kindly supplied.

"What?" In awe, she snuck a look behind her. He was in the centre as he always seemed to be, while the guys around him talked at the same time in loud raucous voices. His facial expressions became amplified as he too supplied his own quip to which immature laughter ensued. Some then proceeded to push him lightly daring him to fall off to which he played along, executing a pseudo fall and jumping down the remaining stairs at the last second.

"But I always thought he was our age."

"You and me both," Takuya nodded.

"Why he's wasting his time with us is just plain stupid if you ask me," Yoshio grumbled as they swiped their passes and entered through the turnstiles.

"We don't know his history," Satoshi spoke diplomatically," he's very open, but when asking anyone, they don't know much about him."

They got onto the subway. Some younger boys loitered around the few remaining free seats. Yoshio zeroed in on them taking a menacing step towards them, his impressive height scaring them off. He pushed ElJay not unkindly into the seat and dropped heavily beside her, propping a leg up and crossing his arms over his chest. Satoshi sat delicately on her left while Takuya remained standing, the crook of his shoulder supported by the metal pole.

"I heard you gave in your project early."

It took her a minute to understand Satoshi's words.

"Oh yea," she smiled brightly, fishing into her bag and pulling out a neat notebook. The three boys crowded around her as she flipped through the pages filled with clean-lined drawings and Japanese explanations off to the side. Satoshi stared admirably at them, about to ask a few questions. ElJay herself was about to start explaining it when Yoshio snatched her pencil and drew a tic-tac-toe board on her paper. He efficiently drew a cartoon totoro in the centre and offered it back," I'm bored."

She stared at him in horror. The concept drawing that she worked so hard to perfect was now distorted by the rough scratches of a kid's game and something that looked like a cat with rabbit ears. An eraser wouldn't be able to get past the deep lines. If it were any other notebook, but this one was filled with designs that weren't created in a day. However, Yoshio's frown stopped her from saying anything. Hesitantly, she took the pencil and drew a stick figure.

Takuya laughed," What Ghibli character is that?"

"I don't really know how to draw cartoons," ElJay sheepishly met the eyes of all three boys.

Yoshio took her notebook, flipping the page before setting to work. The other two took out their own pencils as well. ElJay watched him expertly draw anime characters. He drew three boys, a sleek black car with a girl inside. He handed the notebook to Takuya who drew the continuation. They alternated again and it was finally ElJay's turn. She looked at the variety of their skill before focusing on the storyline. So far it involved the sleek sports car with the driver's long hair billowing towards a scrunched face Takuya, who was holding onto the bumper and being pulled 130 km/hr, Yoshio in a black suit and shades holding a massive shotgun in mid-step running after the car, and Satoshi animatedly grabbing onto the shoulder of the suited man. Off to the side there was a dragon chasing after them.

"A drug run of epic proportions?" she asked.

"I only know how to draw dragons really well," Takuya mumbled sheepishly.

They laughed at that. Yoshio poked her head with the back of the pencil as they offered more suggestions on what she could draw. She playfully glared at him. Takuya sat on Satoshi's lap and they both started adding to the comic strip. ElJay laughed as some of the adults in the subway looked at them disconcertedly.

"I think you're living a Yaoi fantasy for most girls in this subway car," she pointed out the girls who were not so subtly sneaking peaks at the two boys beside her. Takuya demonstratively whispered something in Satoshi's ear to which the latter exaggeratedly licked his lips. ElJay leaned into Yoshio for support as they all burst into laughter.

The subway ride passed like that. ElJay thought her stick figures ruined their comic strip, but the boys assured her it added character. Her flawless notebook was looking a little worse for wear by the time they entered the huge dome where the autoshow was being held. Still, she found that she didn't mind too much. The place was overcrowded with cars and students alike. ElJay was pleased to note that Volkswagen and BMW as well as some other notable international brands made their appearance in an otherwise Japan-focused autoshow.

"Did they decide to expand their horizons?" she asked Arai-sensei.

"First year," he affirmed," it's been fifty years since the first show so they decided to do something noteworthy."

ElJay observed the timeline on the wall. Cars with sleek side-vents and assertive front grills showcased the 60s era moving towards bug-shaped coupes, muscle cars, all-wheel drive sports cars and finally towards the glossy hoods and monstrous engines of today. She couldn't contain her excitement and let out a shaky breath. The centre of the room featured a concept car designed by a student.

"Each year, committee members pick out from thousands of designs and select one individual who shows the most promise," Arai-sensei told her," that person is then offered an opportunity to go to Germany for a two-year program and work with the most-renowned auto producers of this time to hone their skills even further. A lot of great opportunities can come out of this."

ElJay's eyes lit up," wow." She looked back at the design. It was definitely well done. A gun-metal colour, this two door coupe exuded performance. It combined speed, luxury, and power very well. It looked refreshing. She wanted to meet the person who created this.

"What would you have done if you won something like this?" Arai-sensei asked, seeing her eyes glaze over.

"Me?" she looked surprised that he even suggested it. Turning back to the concept she smiled thinking about it," I'd brush up on my German."

"I do believe that's the creator over there," Arai-sensei gestured for her to look. ElJay saw a girl with a neat, black ponytail and an authoritative aura talking to representatives from various companies. She seemed to be keenly explaining her design and they were nodding their heads appreciatively. Her gestures, facial expressions, her stylish trench coat exuded a confidence that ElJay envied. She was the kind of person that you knew would go far just by taking one look. She spoke English with an accent, but smoothly enough and with capturing words that it didn't matter. After she finished she shook hands with each representative.

"Let's go say hi," Arai-sensei gently guided the suddenly stiff girl.

"I don't think that's a good idea," ElJay asserted, digging her feet to the ground.

By that time, the girl looked over and recognition flashed in her eyes. She cocked her head to one side before walking up to ElJay herself.

"Congratulations," ElJay told her robotically, at a loss for words. She felt another presence and saw Hiro come to stand beside her.

"So you're the one," she commented not looking too impressed.

"Excuse me?" ElJay asked.

"I'm Akira," she stuck out her hand which ElJay shook.

"I'm Ell—"

"I know," Akira interrupted," I know my rivals."

"I think you're mis—"

"Follow me," once again she didn't let her finish. ElJay looked uncertainly at Arai-sensei who seemed to be grinning and Hiro who shrugged coolly. Akira led her to a glass office a little ways to the right.

"Well go on," she gestured to the door handle," you were just too good for them to showcase." ElJay stared numbly back at her. Getting annoyed, Akira opened the door and shoved her inside. Regaining her footing, she saw a man in his late thirties looking intently at an image projected on a screen. It was hers ElJay suddenly realized. Fear coupled with excitement shuddered through her. It was even more enhanced when she saw folders with the Aston Martin logo sitting in front of him.

"It sure was difficult keeping this to myself," he suddenly spoke with a British accent.

"You're Rhys Martin," she replied breathlessly.

"And you're Elliot James," he countered looking at her with a calculating gaze.

"You're the great-nephew of Lionel Martin, co-founder of Aston Martin," she continued with wide eyes.

"And you're my new protégée," he beamed up at her," that is if you agree to my proposal."

ElJay perched on the edge of the seat across from him and he slid a folder towards her.

"Honestly, when I got the request to be a judge for this contest, I handed it over to a junior associate and asked him to just pick one," Rhys leaned back in his chair," One late night, I stumbled across your entry in the 'no pile' and it's been locked in my safe ever since."

ElJay figured it out a few minutes ago by that smile on Arai-sensei's face. Of course he was behind it all. ELJay would never dream of entering a contest.

"Since the establishment of our company, we've prided ourselves on our creative and mechanically disciplined cars. Our name has become revered for it. It's a symbol of success sought by many, but achieved by few." He glanced at her design," and yet, somehow a mere high school girl was able to create something extraordinary. I'm not just talking about the design," he reached out for a remote control and suddenly the picture changed to portray her Carbon Black in all its glory," This is incredible."

"I'm going to bluntly ask you to intern with us for the summer in England," he regarded her intensely," It won't be easy. People will doubt you because of your age. I'm not making any promises. It's uncertain whether you'll be asked to stay on. However, you might just become the next manufacturer for the upcoming models. If you agree, perhaps we can both teach each other something new."

It was impossible. The Yakuza would never let her go. Unless she just ran away…but then Han…they always seemed to use him against her. You were with them for life. ElJay shut her eyes as her fingers clasped onto the folder tightly.

"My Carbon Black was a gift from my father. At first I didn't think I had the skill to tamper with that engine and I wouldn't want to. My guardians told me he specifically left it for me. However, I opened the hood one day and I'd never seen such a beautiful engine in my life. They suddenly began manifesting….the ideas…the concepts on how I could make it better. What started out as an experiment turned into a complete custom car," she paused, unsure of what her point was. It was the first time she was telling this to someone so maybe there wasn't a need for one. Still, this was a man who owned a multi-million dollar conglomerate. He probably didn't have time to add sugar to his coffe and here she was blabbering like a moron. He couldn't understand. He didn't know her at all. How was she supposed to go on explaining the turmoil she faced everyday and how Aston Martin lessened the pain if only by a little every time. She wanted to give back to them. To work with them would be a dream.

"I want to say….just….thank you," her eyes began tearing.

He smiled warmly at her," my card is in that folder. We'd have to get some documents signed by your guardians and you'd have to finish the year off well, then we can—"

"I'm sorry," she whispered," but I can't accept it."

"You don't have to make the decision now," his eyes betrayed none of the alarm he was feeling.

"My answer won't change," she looked at him gravely.

"Tell you what; you have the rest of the year. Give me a call later on and we'll work out the technicalities." He stood up and made his way towards the door. ElJay stood up as well.

"I'm sorry."

Rhys paused, turning back to eye the folder on the table," I understand you better than you think, Elliot. I know all about your Carbon Black. Why? Because I knew your father very well." He loitered at the door for a second, before giving her a smile and walking out.

Alone, ElJay became hyperaware of the pounding in her chest. Her head spun violently. There were all sorts of lumps in her throats. Her hands reached out for the folder. Instead of opening it she slipped it into her bag. She had a feeling the secrets in there were better left to discover alone. She wanted to run away like always and nurse her wounds by herself. Her classmates were waiting on the other side and there was no back door. She didn't want to deal with anyone. Flinging the door open, she stalked out completely indifferent. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. She just had to bear it until she got to her car.

"How was it?!"

"Jay, what happened?"

"Where are you going?"

It was too suffocating. Her breathing became labored. Her bottom lip began trembling. Out of fear of breaking down, ElJay clamped two firm palms against her ears to block out all the noise. Just forget it happened. Forget the pain. Forget everything. The mantra eased it if only by a little. Arai-sensei wore an expression of complete shock. That wasn't the reaction he was expecting. She looked incredibly frail, walking with her head down. Her expression was blank as usual, but the eyes looked haunted. He looked at Hiro who for a second looked like he was going to run after her. However, the male in question turned away to continue observing the pictures on the wall.

She barely reached the door before the panic set in and she began running.

It was done. She had been on a rampage, refusing to accept any help. She finished it all by herself. It took just a little under eleven hours. She stopped only to eat a bento box. The engine had fit perfectly much to her surprise. She expected the readjustment to be the biggest problem, but it was almost as if it was created for her car. Her brain was on overdrive. She smelled of sweat. Her hands were bloody and covered in oil. Pieces of greasy hair were stuck to her forehead. Still her heart refused to calm down. It was only when she turned the ignition that she felt instant relief at the soft purring that rang out. She took a moment to lean against the shiny metal. It was so pristine and refined. Then she was peeling out of that garage, doing a well-practiced 360 that had the tires leaving clean black lines. It was as if she never stopped driving. Tokyo was feeling claustrophobic. There was activity everywhere. The colossal buildings consumed the vicinity. The ever-bright lights coupled with the night casted a shadowy glow on the faces of people bustling on the streets.

It was a little before midnight by the time she reached her favourite spot in the mountains. You could see the vista of the skyline, but you didn't have to be part of it. There was darkness everywhere. To ElJay it was comforting. She leant against the car with the folder in her hand. There was no one here and no one would be coming. Life wasn't a two hour movie segment where the timing had to be perfect otherwise the story would go nowhere. The timing was never perfect and people were never perceptive enough. They're too busy dealing with their own problems to ever be on the same page as you. A polaroid was paper clipped to the first page. It was the first time in ten years she set her eyes on her parents' faces. That she remembered what they looked like. And that once again she realized how different she looked from them now. The little girl in the photo was peeking out from behind her mother's legs with her father's arm wrapped tightly around her shoulder. She had a cheeky smile on her face and her eyes were little crescents amidst the laughter. Somehow she wasn't surprised that Rhys Martin knew her family. They had lived in England before and her father was a brilliant polymath, so it wasn't surprising that their paths had crossed. ElJay didn't really believe in fate, but when too many coincidences came together, what else could you call it? Why did she decide to finish her project early? Why did Arai-sensei submit it? How could Rhys have seen it amidst the hundred other papers on his desk?

ElJay looked away from the picture and focused on the skyline. Strangely for her, she didn't feel upset. This was life. It wasn't easy or fair and it didn't give a damn about you. She wanted to be confident like Akira. She wanted to believe in herself like Arai sensei did. She wanted to be fun like Takuya and inquisitive like Satoshi. She wanted to be there for people just like Yoshio was (albeit not with the right attitude). The thought made her smile. Hiro…she envied his ability to switch to the face most appropriate for the situation. Most of all though she wanted to be happy like the little girl in the picture. Then there was Han. The man who craved trust and character. It was a one-way street though. You could rely on him, but he wouldn't reciprocate. He was always cool. In all senses of the word. There wasn't anything she wanted from him. It was because they were so similar there was nothing she could take. ElJay didn't realize it before, but now it made sense. They were always together because they didn't need to say anything extra to feel needed and curb the loneliness they didn't want to admit to. She almost laughed out loud. This is why a relationship between them could never work. It's human nature to feel pleased at another's misfortune. It's the reassurance that your life isn't so bad once you envision walking in someone's less fortunate shoes. That is what they found in each other. Although they never openly talked about their life stories, their attitudes, actions, expressions, speech guided them to the conclusion that they were both messed up. And the thought was comforting. There's someone else like me who gets it without needing to say anything.

She felt sorry for him. Looking at Han was like looking at herself. She wondered if people pitied her. She wondered if anyone has ever looked at her and thought "I want to be like that." Suddenly the need to change became so potent that her chest felt constricted. ElJay started pacing back and forth not knowing where to start. I have to be the one to change, so he can see what it's like.

Her phone rang.

"We need to make a delivery to Yokohama; it'll be the last run before Shanghai."

Right. They are the problem.

The hour ride was spent in silence. ElJay almost wished police got wind of their ventures and came after them, but it was calm. They delivered the drugs and stayed for the customary drink offered by their host. She saw Kane in his element. He was an avid conversationalist, he could talk about anything, win any argument although he had to be humble about that one. She didn't think Japan with its lack of directness fitted his personality. Still, she knew how important the Yakuza were to him.

"Tanaka told us to just spend the night here," Kane turned to her when they exited the building at 3 in the morning.

ElJay leant against the hood of her Carbon and gestured for him to do the same," You know what's going to happen to us right? After Shanghai?" She crossed her arms and listened to the silence of the courtyard surrounded by warehouse buildings. She could faintly hear the water brushing against the pier.

He was silent and she snuck a look at his profile. He was staring ahead in a contemplative stillness. He knew.

"Unless you lose."

She gave him an incredulous look that screamed 'yea right'.

"That's why I came back."

"You didn't want to?" he implored. Of course she did, but not for him.

"I had to."

"Because of me."

"How did you find out anyway?" She asked accusingly.

"I heard Tanaka talking about it while he was officially signing the documents that would add me to the family tree," he stared at her, before saying," add us to the tree." He lit a cigarette and offered it to her.

"What do you think would happen if both of us went rogue?" She laughed at the thought, blowing the smoke into the crisp night air.

"We'd get our entire left arm cut off and offered as a sacrifice to some deity that would bring us bad luck for the rest of our lives," his eyes twinkled mirthfully.

"That's probably not far off from actuality," They grinned at each other. Kane wasn't always bad. He just felt the need to prove the right thing to the wrong person.

"When was the last time you talked to your mother?" She suddenly wanted to know.

"It's been years." There was no malice in his voice, no name-calling like usual. Here, when it was just the two of them shadowed beneath the cloak of night it was a statement underlined with pain. She was alive, but her son could never acknowledge her without endangering her life.

"You want to run away."

She nodded in affirmation," more than anything."

His hand clamped on her shoulder in a vice-like grip," don't screw this up for me, Jay."

She placed a hand on his," come with me." This was the first time he'd seen her act this way. His grip loosened and her eyes alighted with excitement.

"We could go to England together; we could live in a dingy flat and try to make something of ourselves. Paris is only an hour away and the rest of Europe is at our doorstep."

She looked so naïve at that moment he felt the need to tell her so.

ElJay frowned," I just want to try and be something more."

Kane hated to be the one to take the sparkle away from her eyes," Oh hey Grandpa Tanaka, I'm running away with your half-breed grandson, don't wait up…?" He scoffed," is that how you want to go about it?"

She was about to open her mouth when he spoke," you think the Yaks aren't keeping tabs on my mother?"

Her eyes widened in realized and her mouth formed a small 'oh'.

"It's easy for you to just decide things by yourself because you have no one that'll take consequence for your actions. Han can take care of himself so I don't know why you got it into your head that he needs your protection," Kane watched as a mask formed on her features," my mother did the same thing you're thinking of doing. She rushed impulsively ahead and it led her to fear for her life every time she goes outside. As a son, it's my duty to protect her. I don't want the same thing happening to you."

Although his words were harsh, he was right. She didn't know how to get close to people and therefore she had no weakness.

"You've become rather opinionated lately," he commented," and while I'll tolerate it for now and peg it as the whim of a teenage girl thinking she can rule the world, later on you have to stop and just let others bask in greatness because your freedom has been stamped and sealed by a very powerful group." He began walking away from her," better luck in the next life."

They always walked away. People just assumed she would be ok. So she forced herself to be. ElJay scrolled through her phone contacts. She had over two hundred. Half were Yakuza, a third were people from various garages, some were from people she met from the different countries, Han…she couldn't call any one of them. Or maybe….

She hit end call before it could ring. Han was meeting the girl…woman he liked. Maybe she was wrong about him and he was changing. He just stopped showing her.

ElJay got back to the garage around 4:30 am and after showering, spent a few hours looking through the Aston Martin folder. Their manufacture plant resided in Gaydon, Warwickshire. A rural, sparsely populated village to the West of England with a population of 376. ElJay liked the rolling fields and hills that went on for ages. There was a short list of concept models set to be designed the next summer. The manor she would be staying at was an elegant country house with 10 acres of gardens. There were profiles of all the people she would be job shadowing. By the time she finished reading it all, ElJay's heart felt like it was about to burst. She had to go.

Her flight to Shanghai left tomorrow morning and the few extra hours of sleep were much needed. She sunk further into her pillow suddenly feeling exhausted, but happy. ElJay wondered when the next downfall would strike. For that was the vicious circle. Almost as if on cue she heard a commotion downstairs. Somehow she knew who it was before the cool chuckle resonated and she knew who was with him before the Spanish lilted voice spoke. Although a small stab of jealousy hit her, ElJay was ok with the thought of her unrequited crush having endless potential. For whatever reason he wasn't ready to take the chance with her, but it didn't mean he wasn't going to. She was good at waiting. Without even knowing what the Spanish woman looked like, ElJay had a feeling it wasn't going to last. Maybe it was the opportunity in England talking, but she felt fine. She had always seen him surrounded by women; this wouldn't be all that different. Plus, she was certain nobody really understood Han like she did.

She sat up slowly wincing as black spots filtered her vision anyway. Suddenly, as if realizing it just now, a frown made its way onto her face. Hesitantly, she stood up and made her way to the doorway, the laughter getting closer and more audible. He shouldn't sound so happy, not without me. It was a selfish thought. She peeked around the doorframe and saw Han taking out two bottles of Ramune from the fridge. It was their drink. She always had trouble pushing the tiny sphere through the bottle and he would always regard her with hilarity and point out her shit upper body strength before opening the bottle for her. That was their ritual. She lurched downstairs excitedly.

"You know when I gave you my number I was hoping you'd call." ElJay stopped as she saw a thin woman giving Han a pointed look.

"Well, in the end we did get to Tokyo," he handed her the bottle. She was beautiful of course.

"Does everything in Tokyo have to be so complicated?" With the way she gazed at Han, Eljay could tell that question was far more loaded than the Ramune bottle she gestured to.

"Just give it a push and it won't be," Han demonstrated expertly. She copied his movements, but pressed too hard and the fizz spilled over her wrists. His smirk turned into a laugh as her glare intensified. She looked disgusted at the sweet soda and held her hands out to him expectantly.

Han set his drink down and ran a towel under the sink.

"That is a ridiculous way to open a drink," she wrinkled her nose as she took a sip," not to mention one that tastes like it's been rinsed through an old work boot before being bottled."

ElJay didn't like her tone. She most certainly didn't like the way she flicked the soda at his face and she was absolutely steaming when he in turn sprayed her with a fistful of water from the tap. Her fist was completely white as she clenched the railing. The woman was wiping down her hands on his shirt which ElJay thought was positively childish. She would never have done that.

"Gisele," his tone was sharp as he yanked her wrists under the sink. She glowered at him, but didn't remove her hands. He gave her a small smile before cupping water into his hands and pouring it over her hair.

"You need to cool down," he justified.

"And you need to stop adding fuel to the fire," she roughly pushed him away and snatched a dry towel.

He laughed again and ElJay wondered why. Was her pretentious, childish personality so amusing to him?

"Where's your bathroom?" she asked gruffly.

ElJay had to shut her eyes to keep from seeing that arrogant face. She let out a short breath. If Han was laughing then she was happy for him even if his happiness didn't include her.

"Upstairs, to the left," she heard her own voice speak in a clipped tone. Both sets of eyes turned to her.

"You're up early," Han commented, his disposition reverting to the usual blankness.

"Yea well, who could sleep with all that ruckus?" ElJay's gaze landed on Gisele purposefully.

"Excuse this pitiful first impression," the woman in question gestured down to her dripping state walking towards the stairs.

"It counts," ElJay proclaimed leaning against the railing.

Gisele sized her up as she ascended the stairs," sorry?"

"I'm Jay," ElJay kept her hands crossed over her chest.

"Gisele," she replied with equal coolness. She continued up the stairs raising her brows at ElJay and giving her a tight-lipped smile as she passed. When she disappeared behind the doorway, ElJay hopped down the remaining stairs and raised her own brows at Han who was unsuccessfully trying to hide a smile.

"Wow," she commented drily, opening the fridge and taking out a Ramune," well she does have nice legs because you certainly aren't with her for the scintillating conversation skills."

Han took the bottle from her hands before she could begin the struggle," oh yeah?" he popped it open and handed it back, ruffling her hair," since when did you start using big kid words like scintillating?"

ElJay's heart squeezed when no comment about upper body strength was made, but she decided to pay it no mind and hopped up on the counter, regarding him skeptically. There were many things she could've said about that tart running the shower upstairs. Commented on how skinny she was, her rash personality, even the icky brown colour of her hair, but ElJay kept quiet. Although she didn't want to admit it, Gisele had a dominant fire in her eyes. Just from the first impression, one could gather that she was blunt, she knew what she wanted, she had this exuberance that made Han laugh, and she expressed her emotions freely on her face. ElJay couldn't help herself, she envied her.

"Anyway," she grinned at him, wanting to drop the subject.

"I'll take you to school," Han picked up the keys to his RX-7," finish all your homework?"

She gave him an incredulous look," yea, sure." She hopped down from the counter," listen, I really don't think you should leave 'that one' here alone," ElJay gestured upstairs," she might throw out all your Ramune."

"You just can't stand the thought of someone else being in the driver's seat."

ElJay had to remind herself not to respond childishly. She clenched her jaw and held her hands up in resignation," fine, but you better be picking me up as well since my four wheels are staying here."

"Public transport would be faster anyway," Han smirked knowingly at her.

"Public transport doesn't have perforated seat inserts," she quipped.

"Just go get your bag," he leant against the bright orange door of the Mazda.

ElJay took the stairs two at time, stopping at the railing to look at him with his arms crossed watching her intently. She smiled widely and rushed into her room stuffing her books into her domo as well as the Aston Martin folder. She slipped on an oversized black angora sweater and placed Hiro's scarf around her neck. She debated on whether she should take her car keys.

"Tick. Tock," a voice startled her from downstairs. She took her phone off the charger and frowned at the time. It was still early. Pausing to glare slightly at the bathroom door at the sound of running water, she walked back down the stairs.

"What's the rush?" she asked, as he opened the passenger door for her. As soon as the door shut, ElJay realized this was a bad idea as a dry woodsy scent blended sharply with grapefruit invaded her senses. It was amplified tenfold when he closed the door behind him and smoothly turned on the engine. His hand rested on the back of her seat and she watched the veins bulge as he backed out of the garage. If only he had reverted back to middle parting his hair… it would've been bearable.

Suddenly he snatched her phone from her hands," I gotta take a picture of this."

"Of me in the passenger seat?" she laughed as he aimed the phone at her.

The car stopped and his expression faltered. "Yea," he gave a terse chuckle," it's such a rare occurrence."

He gave the phone back to her and floored the accelerator. She wanted to check the picture and turned on the screen.

Oh.

She glanced at his profile which betrayed nothing.

"Hiro Kobayshi," she ventured after a few moments of silence.

"I know who he is."

She cursed herself for not changing her lock screen picture. It was the one with Hiro biting her rabbit eared sweater. The purikura picture had been small so when she zoomed in, it became slightly unfocused. Still, even now it made her smile.

"Is that who you've been dating?" he looked at her despite the 120 km/hr.

The smile disappeared in time. "Not even close," she shook her head," we're friends."

"Really," Han deadpanned," so who fell for who? Or is it a mutual thing?"

"Maybe you didn't really get the point of frie—."

"I got it," he interrupted her," a guy like that isn't looking for friendship."

She scoffed," I think I'll decide that for myself, thanks."

"You're just a little slow when it comes to this, Jay," he looked at her expectantly.

She opened her mouth to reply and then grimaced. "You and I are friends."

She waited for it.

"And look where that got us?" he retorted," you like me."

There it was. Her heart started pounding and her cheeks flamed at the bluntness of the statement.

"I don't like you very much right now," she turned away, her vision blurring and clenched her shaky hands around her phone. It was embarrassing to put it out in the open like that. He had said it as if it were a bother. It wasn't as if she could control it. Besides…

You like me too.

She didn't dare say it. He would only put a thicker barrier between them. Plus, she just wasn't that sure anymore.

"So what's he doing on your phone screen?" If he regretted his tone, Han didn't show it.

"And what's she doing in our house?" she countered, successfully keeping out the bitterness," you want me to move out? So she can take my room?"

"She'll stay in the spare room."

"Permanently? Well isn't that just a step up. You want me to clear up some closet space or you got that covered to?"

Han sighed deeply through his nose. " Why do we always fight whenever we start talking?"

ElJay looked over at him," I guess neither one of us is really listening."

He locked eyes with her and gave a playful glare," how can you expect me to listen when you don't really talk to me anymore."

Was that really true? She furrowed her brow and then nodded slowly.

They pulled up at a coffee shop next to the school. Han gave an amused scoff and got out of the car. Wordlessly, she followed him inside. There was a grimace on her face that stayed even when he ordered two green tea lattes. Even when he stared at her with a half-smile. She turned her guilty gaze on him at the same time he took a finger and smoothed out the frown. He handed her the latte and walked out. ElJay almost wanted to let him go. She spent so much time raving about him that she forgot about her own misdeed. She really hadn't properly spoken to him. It was awkward though. He knew how she felt about him and now she was forced to walk on pins and needles in order not to be a bother. She dragged her feet out the door.

Han shook his head in mock solemnity and placed an arm around her shoulder leading her over to the school gates and to a nearby bench.

"Now," he stated, taking her cup and placing both on the wooden bench," we're both not overly affectionate people, but let's just settle something."

She looked at him curiously," what exactly?"

His eyes shined with mirth," the day you came back." He started walking back towards the gate.

She remembered.

"Han? What are you doing?" she asked even though she knew what he wanted. He peeked around the gate," let's do the real homecoming."

She had played it cool that day. He had recognized her driving technique straight away and all she had wanted to do was run into his arms and apologize. For leaving. For not contacting him. For coming back even. It was he who unrestrainedly kissed her forehead. She didn't show any affection. He knew how regretful she felt. Now he was giving her a do-over. It was still early enough that not many students loitered outside. So ElJay had no qualms she could use as an excuse. She wrung her hands nervously, looking at the two green tea lattes that were involuntary tilting towards each other because of the crooked bench.

"Jay?" if she didn't know any better, it really sounded like he was seeing her for the first time in two years.

Her head snapped in his direction her surprise mimicking his own. She liked that he understood her. This was the side of him that he only showed to her. Then that feeling spread through her. That belated happiness that she rarely felt.

Han was momentarily stumped as her face broke out into the most breathtaking smile he had ever seen. It held the right touch of shyness that an unexpected warmth rushed through him. Then she was running towards him and a memory flashed before his eyes. At eleven years old, she was tiny. A tiny, bubbly spirit who smiled at everyone she met. It had taken a while for him to coax out that little girl, but he was rather proud of himself when he did. The hospital told him that because she had no recollection past six years of age that it would take awhile for her mental capabilities to revert back to her current age. He had been worried at first, but she was just so happy all the time, that he decided it didn't matter in the end.

She had seen a woman leaving his bedroom and with a little frown rushed over to him.

"Hanny!" she spread her arms excitedly and he had picked her up and she latched them around his neck looking at him with a very concentrated gaze.

"El, what's up?" he tried smoothing the wrinkles on her forehead, but she brushed his hand away.

"Do you love her?" she bluntly asked.

He had chuckled at her at the time," No, I don't fall in love. I swear." He brushed away a piece of hair from her face.

She pouted at first, but then to his surprise smiled and said ok. Looking back, Han realized she smiled because she knew he was wrong. Maybe she smiled because she knew it wouldn't take long…

In real time, she slammed into him full speed," I'm sorry," she was repeating. Even on her tiptoes, she only reached a little below his shoulder. He wanted to put both arms around her, but his hand stayed in his pocket. Instead, he was crushing her to him with one arm behind her neck. He hoped that conveyed the feeling of relief. There was no twirl. No looking into the other's eyes. It was her pressed against his chest and him looking at a spot beyond her hair. Her whispering 'I'm sorry' and him telling her it was ok. This was their style. Or rather, the style of two people who can't quite own up to their feelings. At this moment it was written all over their faces, but to respect the other's privacy they didn't look at each other even after she stepped away from him. Hesitantly, her eyes flickered upwards after awhile and to her relief he was smiling at her.

"That's how we should've done it the first time around, El."

Her heart jolted with nostalgia. That had been her nickname up until 13 years old. Then as she became more immersed in cars he started calling her Jay. Hearing it now sounded foreign. Almost strange. However, she didn't hate it. It was from a point in her life when Han smiled at her all the time.

Hiro walked through the gates with Satoshi. He had made it a habit to take the subway to school and had met the class president along the way. They were in deep discussion about the upcoming school festival. Satoshi stopped and a look of relief crossed his features," she's ok."

Instantly, Hiro searched for her face. He found her animatedly waving her hands in the air as she explained something to…Han. Hiro could feel his expression sour just looking at the older man with his long legs stretched out, one hand in his pocket, sipping a drink, and listening with raised eyebrows at her explanation. Then both of them simultaneously laughed. Or rather, Han chuckled. Hiro was certain he wasn't capable of full on laughter.

"Yea," he shared a hesitant look with Satoshi," let's not ask her about it." They resumed their walk to the school doors. They entered and Hiro hated himself for looking back.

ElJay sat back on the bench with her hands under her thighs and a wide smile on her face.

"I always wondered why you wanted to do oil changes in that pink dress I bought you," Han continued saying.

She giggled," I could never tell you I hated the colour."

"You were a pretty strange kid," he commented.

"Because I didn't like pink?" ElJay asked, somewhat confused.

"Because you stuck around," he clarified.

Her cheeks coloured as she looked away," so what about Gisele? It seems like she's sticking around."

He shifted and ElJay flinched as he stood up.

"Gisele and I are friends," he stared down at her, his attention faltering as the school bell rang.

ElJay nodded," so are we," she stood up as well and made a move to leave," but you never traveled across the country for me," she remarked with a sad smile.

Han stared at her for the longest time as if debating whether or not to say something. In the end, he too gave a melancholy smile," and you've never had my picture on your phone screen."

He raised his eyebrows, challenging her to say something. She didn't. Both of them always left things unsaid. That was why it would never work between them. At least not with the way she was now. She squared her shoulders and walked away.

I'd go after you, but it would be harder to let go later on.