"NO! That's a horrible idea!" I nearly jumped out of my seat in indignation.
"Relax, you just have to go on a date with him, not marry the damn guy."
"I'm not going on a date with freakin' Russia to squeeze information out of him! It's a stupid idea! Anyone in this damn car would agree!"
Alfred gave a small half smile, "I'd put money on it that you're wrong, France, your opinion?"
"Oh, mon ami, it's brilliant! Oh, magnifique!"
I scoffed, "ugh, it's France, he'd say yes to anything that would play out in some disturbed romance in his mind."
"Well, I think it's a bloody great plan too love." England said awkwardly from the front.
"I know," Alfred said with a smile. "I'm simply a genius aren't I?"
England scoffed and made a face "I wouldn't go that far-"
"NO! IT'S A STUPID IDEA! Did you all eat England's scones and are hallucinating right now or something? You can't just expect me to do it! It's low, underhanded, conniving, and he's just plain creepy!"
England rolled his eyes, "I'll choose not to take offense to that, and we won't let anything happen. We'll have a wire on you the whole time and-"
"Angleterre! Don't be ridiculous! She can't have a wire! If he gets her to any kind of secluded area he'll see it when he-"
"France!" Thankfully America cut him off, no one wanted to know where he'd be going with that. "All I said was that if she would go out with him it could really get some good intel on what the hell he's been up to lately."
"I'm not doing it." I turned my back to them and looked out the window of the cab. Alfred was between me and France, thank god, and England had taken the passenger seat next to the driver, much to everyone's protest. But… he was the only one who really knew exactly how to tell the driver to get there.
"You already have a dance with him, don't you love? It shouldn't be hard for you form some kind of relationship beyond that."
"It'll be easy, England can give you a few dancing lessons, France can teach you what not to say and how to flirt-"
"I think she'll need some experience in the bedroom area as well, and I'd gladly help her out with-"
"NO!" Alfred pushed me back before I could try and strangle him.
He really does NOT know when to shut up, "Feisty one she is, mon ami."
"If I kill him can you all say ninjas did it at the trial." I saw him smirk; I probably would have leapt at him if America had not intervened.
"Um, I think that'll be too far France… but we will need you to do hair, makeup, and style as well."
"You can never be too sure…" Alfred's glares made him realize he needed to switch gears. "Fine, sounds good Amérique, I can't wait to see how her figure will look in a tight little black dre-"
"That's quite enough! Bloody hell France! She's at least a thousand years too young for you." he turned back to Alfred. "Did you ever consider what would happen if he does fall for her. I mean, yes, he'll give her secrets and the like, but America… she'll have to go back with you eventually. Back home. He's not the kind of person who would just let her go away."
America shrugged, "she's a tough girl; she can fend him off."
I scoffed, "yeah, maybe I'll fall on him."
He smiled and shrugged saying, "Exactly."
England scoffed at Alfred, "as much as I think she's a great young lady, I doubt she'd be a match for an angry Russia." Alfred bit his lip.
"You do have a point…" then he smiled, "but she'll be fine. After all, when it comes to putting the smack down on our red friends, I'M THE HERO!" He said as he made a flourished point to himself. We all rolled our eyes. I only half meant it. "I'll protect her; it'll be a piece of cake! She knows I look out for her, ain't that right Kat?"
I gave a small half smile, "I gotta admit, he does have his moments… and it could be fun, like being some deep undercover CIA operative!"
Alfred had to smile at that, England sighed, "it's your decision."
All eyes turned to me. America had a playful light in his eye, and said with a goofy grin, "So what do you say Kat? Feel like being a secret agent?"
I bit my lip. He made me nervous… but America is my friend. He won't let him get to me… and I know Russia makes him nervous; he looked so scared at the airport… Friends help friends. So what if I have to spend some time with Russia… I finally can do something that will help pay him back for all the times he's helped me. "Two conditions: one, you keep France the hell away from me, and two, you protect me the entire way. Got it?"
His smile widened, "this may be fun."
England sighed, "I'll help as much as I can; I don't want to see you get her blown up." He got an excited look as he added "and it'll be like training James Bond! Except… more feminine, and a lot less guns…"
I groaned, America looked confused, "what is it?"
"England's going to be training me… I have to break out my manners… and grammar."
Translations
Magnifique- French for magnificent
Angleterre- French for England
Mon ami- French for my friend
Amérique- French for America
