A/N: So we finally find out a little more about why the girls were sent to Hogwarts, and how exactly it is that they know all of this stuff about magical stuff when clearly they haven't ever performed any magic before. Isaviel will also find out what it was that happened to her during her argument with Sirius. ;D

-Tangent- I think Isaviel needs to develop immense guitar-playing abilities soon. XD

And... I seem to think this fic is getting a little too serious. As you can tell from the ending, the next one shall be chock-full of LOLz.

Summary: Two girls stumble across a mysterious store, where they buy mysterious amulets and receive mysterious warnings. When they ignore these words, they literally "fall into" the Harry Potter world. Hilarity and hijinks ensue.

Disclaimer: Nothing from the Harry Potter series belongs to me; it all belongs to the wonderful J. K. Rowling. Pocketfish (Isaviel Bates), Cheerbear (Theoli Runkle) and Sethoz Anatolia, however, belong to myself, Rusty Nail and Sethoz, respectively. Also, the llama song doesn't belong to me either, but I damn well wish it did.


So Sue Me: A Tale of Two Self-Inserts

Chapter Eight: The Prophecy Becomes Apparent... Sort Of

I.

"This is hopeless," Sirius groaned, reading the sheet of parchment on which the lyrics were written for about the fiftieth time. He, James, Remus and Peter were sat in the library, trying to memorise the lyrics they had to perform later that night. Not too far away, Isaviel and the recently discharged Theoli were getting on with the homework they had missed whilst keeping a very close eye on proceedings nearby.

"We're never going to be able to do this," James said, echoing his friend's sentiment.

Remus sighed. "It's either this or expulsion, guys. I know which I prefer."

"I'm not too sure now. She's laughing at us, I just know it." Sirius sent glared at Isaviel, who was too busy chatting to notice or care.

"This was Theoli's idea," Remus reminded him. "Isaviel was all for having us expelled." When he didn't get a reply, he rolled his eyes and gave up trying. He had been meaning to talk to Isaviel ever since the confrontation but hadn't found the opportunity; now seemed to be as good as any. Getting up (and ignoring the questioning looks) he approached and tapped her on the shoulder.

"I've told you, it's llama llama mushroom llama, llama llama duck."

"Err..."

Isaviel turned. "Oh, hi Remus. Sorry, thought it was Sirius. Again."

Remus smiled. "No, though he's still struggling. I think he's expecting some deeper meaning behind the lyrics or something."

Theoli snorted. "What, like playing it backwards will spell out satanic messages?"

"Or messages about what idiots we were."

"No," Theoli laughed. "No hidden messages. Just a humiliatingly random song for you to sing."

"He won't believe that."

"I expect no less. What can we do ya for?"

"Actually, I was wondering if I could have a word with Isaviel." He fidgeted for a moment. "In private."

Isaviel glanced over and Theoli gave a shrug as if to say 'go ahead'. She stood and followed Remus out into the hallways, ignoring the confused looks and hissing that Sirius was aiming at his friend. They began to walk, slowly and in silence, until there weren't as many people around. Remus looked thoughtful for a while before he spoke. "About the other day... outside the infirmary... Well, firstly, I apologise. It's not normally how I would prefer hospital visits to go, but there we have it."

"Why didn't you stop them?"

"I ask myself the same thing," he sighed, coming to a stop and leaning against the wall beside a nearby window. "I can't seem to gather the courage to do so."

"They're your friends. They could do with an injection of sense now and again." Isaviel sidestepped as a group of first-years rushed past them, heading outside as the season's first snowflakes began to fall. She turned and leant on the windowsill for a while, watching the snowflake falling gently to the ground. Remus moved to stand beside her.

"I guess winter's well and truly here, now."

"Guess so. So?"

"So what?" Remus was still looking out at the snow that had already begun to lay.

Isaviel sat on the sill, pressing her back against the glass, feeling it's coldness through her shirt. "You said 'firstly'. Next port of call is...?"

"Oh, yes." He frowned a little. "Well... during the heated discussion you and Sirius were having, something happened to you."

Isaviel's eyes widened. In all honesty, the moment where she had felt herself physically changing had totally slipped her mind in all the excitement over Theoli waking up and the subsequent plotting of punishment a la revenge. She supposed it was something that one shouldn't really be forgetting but she couldn't help it.

"So you know what I'm talking about."

"Err, yeah. I'd just kinda... forgotten about it?" She gave a feeble laugh.

Remus gave a sideways glance. "You forgot?"

Isaviel stuck her tongue out in response. Then, another while later. "Do you know what it... what's wrong with me?"

"I doubt it's an illness, if that's what you're worried about. Then again, it's not exactly normal either. I was just wondering if you'd been able to find anything out."

"No, too busy making plans for your humiliation," she said, offhandedly. "Oh, err, sorry."

Remus rolled his eyes, but gave a good natured smirk. "There's one theory I had but it would have taken years of hard graft to be able to accomplish it and since the change seemed to take you by surprise I may have been wrong."

"What was your theory?"

"That you're an Animagus."

"I thought you need to be registered to be one of those?"

Remus shifted, uncomfortably. "Well yes, but there's no way for the Ministry to track any who do it illegally."

"Good point. Maybe I'm a werewolf. You know, one who changes in broad-" She broke off when she saw the look on Remus' face. He had looked away from her with an expression that seemed to be a mixture of anger and sadness that both confused and concerned the young girl. For some reason unknown to her she was about to apologise when Sethoz rounded the corner.

"Greetings chaps!" she chirped as she got closer.

Remus' previously calm and kind look had returned. "Morning, Thoz."

"You guys come from the library?"

"Yep. They're forcing us to memorise the llama song."

"Damn right we are," Isaviel, huffed, pretending not to have noticed his fleeting mood-change. "'Tis all part of the punishment!"

Sethoz laughed. "I'm sure you're not enjoying this at all."

"Not one bit."

"Oh, of course," Remus laughed. "Our humiliation is of no concern to you?" Isaviel looked towards the ceiling, innocently. "I guess I should be getting back," Remus sighed. "I still have a couple of llamas to memorise."

"Ooh, I'll join you," Thoz said, pointing to her books. "I've a crudload of homework to wade through. You know, people are right; things were harder in the past."

"You two go ahead, I've gotta go do something." She skipped off towards the office before Thoz could ask any awkward questions.

II.

"Bah," Isaviel said to herself, then to the stone gargoyle which had refused to move no matter how often she'd kicked, nor how loudly she'd shouted. In the end she just gave up and sat on the floor, cross-legged, deciding to wait it out and sorely regretting the fact that she hadn't gone back to the library to get her cloak. "He's never around when you're looking for him." It was about half an hour before the headmaster showed up, looking slightly bewildered by the student sat beside the entrance to his office, just about dozing off though it was quite cold.

"Miss Fortesque, I would recommend you return to your common room for a quick snooze, it's far more comfortable there."

The young girl leapt up and rubbed her eyes. "Sorry, just got sleepy. I was looking for you, but kinda wasn't paying attention when you were saying the password - I assume there is a password, since kicking didn't work."

The headmaster laughed. "Well, for future reference, the password is-" he turned to the Gargoyle, "Cherry Bakewell." The sculpted stone leapt to the side and revealed the entrance. "I've been experimenting with different passwords, of late, to help me give up sweets, though I do miss them." He didn't speak again until they had entered the office, at which point Dumbledore had offered a cup of hot chocolate to warm her up. She gratefully accepted.

"So," The headmaster began, sitting at his desk. "What may I help you with?"

Isaviel looked into the steaming mug cupped in her hands. "This is going to sound really weird..." So she began explaining what exactly had happened to her (though omitting the part about the arguments and mentioning no specific names) and during her explanation the headmaster hadn't moved, nor interrupted her with any questions; he had sat there with that twinkle in his eye, as if he knew all of this already.

"It's not as if I'm an Animagus-"

"But you are, Miss Fortesque."

"-because they need to be registered and I think I'd remember if... wait, what?"

"You are an animagus."

"...surely that's illegal."

"It most certainly is," he commented, standing and turning his back to her to peruse the shelves of books. "Drink up before it gets cold." She did as she was told while he rand his finger along the shelf, looking for the right book. Just as Isaviel set the now-empty cup onto the desk in front of her it seems he found the right one, giving a noise of recognition before plucking it out and sitting back down.

"'The Animagi Compendium'?"

"Yes, excellent reading for any young student who has a slight to moderate interest in Animagi. I certainly recommend it as a good read," he slid the table across as he spoke. Seeing the perplexed look on Isaviel's face, he asked what was troubling her.

"Two things. First, why don't I remember trying to be an Animagus?"

"Because your memories have not fully returned to you, yet." The headmaster sighed. "You girls were sent here by the amulets that you possess to take your place in this world," he continued. "That is to say; you have always been here in this world but your consciousness was split in two for you to exist in two worlds."

Isaviel tried to work this all out in her head and only succeeded in giving herself a headache. "Prophecy?"

He nodded. "By putting those amulets together, a chain of events was set off that cannot be stopped."

"Oh, great." She was sorely tempted to slam her face onto Dumbledore's desk but refrained from doing so. "We started the apocalypse."

"Not quite," he reassured her, "Things may steadily grow more serious as time progresses but for now you can remember things at your own pace."

"So, by remember..."

"You are suffering a temporary memory loss due to the shock of your two beings becoming one; you have all the knowledge and skills of your counterparts who have been students here, however, since you originally come from the same soul you are, in effect, still the same person."

"So... we congealed?" She pulled a face. "I guess it's no wonder people don't really notice us. Though... the sorting and having to be introduced?"

"I had you sorted again to make sure you had remained who you are, and I am glad to say that you did. As for your second point I am not entirely sure, but when you returned there was a momentary loss of memory where people had to get reacquainted, then would become unaware of your being a new member of the school. I surmise that it must be some clause in the prophecy."

"Must be." Isaviel felt quite numb, not really sure how to react to all of this newfound information. "So the others don't know about the prophecy?"

"No," he sighed. "And even I do not know the full extent of it's reading. Only what I have just told you now. But let us move on to other things for now; you say you had another point?"

"Oh, right. Wouldn't I be in trouble for..." She glanced at the book then lowered her voice, suddenly paranoid that there were people listening into their conversation. "What we were talking about before?"

"Most probably. That is if I could remember what we were talking about all that time ago."

"What?"

"You must forgive me for I am an old wizard, I tend to forget things quite easily."

"We were talking-"

Fawkes gave a cry from his perch, seemingly giving her an exasperated look before going back to his preening. Isaviel stared blankly from the phoenix to the headmaster, the latter watching as it suddenly dawned upon Isaviel what he meant. "Oooh, I see. I mean- oh, that's a shame, sir. Perhaps you should use post-it notes?"

"Post-what notes?"

"They're little sticky labels. You write on them and stick them in a place you know you'll look to remind you of things."

"I see," Dumbledore said, a curious look on his face, "I may just give that a go."

III.

When Isaviel finally returned to the library after hiding the borrowed book under her bed she found that Severus had now joined the crew and was sitting opposite Theoli, tutoring her on one of the more complex potions that they would have to make during their next lesson. Sethoz was with the Gryffindor boys, apparently trying to teach them the llama song. Sirius looked thoroughly confused.

"This song makes no sense!"

"It's not meant to, and keep your voice down," Thoz hissed, looking away from Sirius to give Isaviel a little wave, which she returned as she took a seat next to Severus.

"What did I miss?"

"Sirius asking what the song meant, what the song was really about, wanting to know if it had a history they should know about and also asking if it was some reference to an old wizarding duel or something," Theoli scoffed, setting her quill down. Isaviel rolled her eyes, then looked over the textbook open in front of Severus. He pushed it over a little so she could see easier and she smiled in thanks.

"Potions, eh?"

"Yeah, apparently this might be on the exam list. So, where did you go?"

"I needed to speak to Dumbledore," she answered, vaguely. She hated not being able to tell Severus, but they needed to get the full story before they involved anyone else. For now, only she, Theoli and Sethoz would be in on things. "Bling business."

"Ah, okay." Theoli winked to let her friend know she understood that 'bling' meant the necklaces. Severus looked confused, but continued with his homework.

"Looking forward to tonight?" Isaviel chirped in order to change the subject. "We have some extra surprises in store for the boys that they don't know about," she said to Severus. "Costumes and... shall we say, props."

"Please tell me it doesn't involve livestock."

"That depends on what you class as livestock," Theoli said.

Along the table, they heard Sirius give a desperately cry of; "I don't GET it!"