~~SOOOOO sorry it took me so long to get this update to y'all. I was distracted by another story and had writer's block with this one. HEY, you with the rotten tomato! PLease put that down! Please don't throw that at me. I didn't mean for it to take this long. I promise. Hopefully you will forgive me since I give you the first lemon in this chapter! YAY!~~~
Alice POV
After Jasper told me about his past, I gained more respect for him. I couldn't believe that such a young child had had to see what he had. No one should ever have to see it; especially a child. He had to see his childhood friend and his friend's family get killed in such a vicious fashion. It made me angry for the child just thinking about it.
I was able to understand Jasper more having heard his story, though. I was proud of him for the way he had handled the horror. He had decided that instead of becoming a drunkard, he would become a marshal and put people like those, who had killed the family, into jail. Instead of becoming angry, he just went inside himself and became an introvert who avoided people. Thankfully, he didn't avoid me. I would forever be thankful to God for that little bit in my life.
We traveled all the way to Childress, Texas the following day. When we got there, Jasper went in search of the preacher. It took half the day to track him down. When we finally did, Jasper explained to him that we wanted to get married right away. The preacher told him that he would be glad to marry us. I hurriedly got changed in the back room of the church.
As I stood there in my dress, I began to think about what was on the other side of that door. Jasper was my future. I knew that from the first look. I knew that I was supposed to marry him. I knew that I was meant for him. I loved him so much; more than life itself.
I knew it was fast. I knew we hadn't been together long, but my heart knew exactly what it wanted. It wanted Jasper. It was like my heart had found it's second half. I started to tear up thinking about it. Jasper had saved my life. Literally and figuratively. He had become everything to me. He was my life now.
He had come into my life at one of the worst times but had healed me. My heart was ripped apart and he put it back together. When I was broken apart by the crash, Jasper had taken me to the hospital and stayed by my side. When I thought I couldn't go on because of Matthew, Jasper was there for me. He had fixed every part of me, even those that I didn't know had been damaged. I could only pray that he felt the same way. Part of me wondered if he was only marrying me because of Matthew. I worried that Jasper didn't really love me. Would I be able to live forever with a man that didn't love me? Who didn't care as deeply for me as I did for him?
I walked out off the door and into the sanctuary of the church. There stood the preacher, his wife, and Jasper. The church was empty but for us. Jasper looked so handsome. Our children are going to look so cute! Did I really just think about mine and Jasper's children? We aren't even married yet. We haven't even had sex yet!
I stepped over to Jasper. His eyes were big and he looked like he wanted to eat me for dinner. I smiled at that thought. He smiled back at me. The preacher spoke up. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join in marriage Alice McCarty and Jasper Whitlock." He talked for a few minutes about what it meant to be married; about how God looked at marriage, about what love really was. I had to agree with him. Love was something that could never have any evil in it. Love was the one thing that had always helped me through.
It hit me at that moment, that if I had stayed with my brother that day, he might not be hurt but I wouldn't have met Jasper either. I probably would never have met Jasper if I hadn't gotten away from the watchful eyes of my family. The down side of that was that my papa had died, my brother was injured, and my mother was with one of the worst ingrates I had ever met.
Maybe once we caught up to Matthew and got Mama to safety, Jasper would arrest that dreadful man. As I listened to the preacher and looked into Jasper's eyes, I knew he would do anything I asked. If I asked him to kill Matthew, he might have a hard time with his ethics and morals, but he would do it. Then, quickly hide the body!
My eyes began to get watery as I heard the preacher say to Jasper, "Jasper Whitlock, do you promise to love, honor and cherish Alice, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, so long as you both shall live?"
Jasper looked deep into my eyes lovingly as he whispered, "Of course I do."
The tears fell over my eyes as I heard the devotion in his voice. "Alice McCarty, do you promise to love, honor and cherish Jasper in sickness and in health for richer or for poorer so long as you both shall live?"
"I do," I whispered and I felt my world start to come together. I knew that no matter what happened with Mama and Emmett everything would be alright because Jasper was in my life now. I would be sad and hurt if they weren't ok but Jasper would see me through. I knew he would. I knew, no matter what, he would be there, right there by my side through it all. He would make sure everything went the way it's supposed to. He would be my rock. He would be my strength. He would be everything I needed him to be. I was so thankful I had found him.
The preacher broke through my thoughts. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride, Mr. Whitlock." My heart just about melted with anticipation. He slowly bent his head toward me. My heart beat faster and faster with every second that past. His lips finally touched mine.
It was like a lightening bolt went through my whole body. I couldn't believe how good his lips felt against mine. It was like they were made for mine. They fit perfectly. It made me wonder slightly what other parts of him would fit just right with mine!
When he pulled his lips away from mine, I almost groaned. I felt empty with the loss of contact. My lips felt cold with out his. I consoled myself with the thought that now that we're married, I could kiss him whenever I wanted. I would have a lifetime of kisses and hugs and maybe more!
We thanked the preacher and his wife and walked out of the church hand in hand. We walked down the steps and I thought to myself how perfect this was. This whole day had been so perfect.
From the church, we went on our way, back on the road to Amarillo. Strangely enough, it didn't kill my ecstatic mood. I was still so happy that Jasper and I were husband and wife. Finally.
As we were riding our horses along the path, Jasper all of a sudden grabbed the reins of my horse and started pulling us off the path to a nearby cave. I gave him a confused look. "Storm coming," is all he said to me.
After we took care of the horses; got them fed and watered for the night, we got our bags off them and walked into the cave. My nerves were suddenly really high. I was shaking. I was a virgin and this was my wedding night. My mother, red faced and stuttering, had told me once what was expected of a woman on her wedding night. I knew what was about to happen. I knew what he expected of me, but I wasn't so sure right then if I was going to be able to please him.
He turned around and saw the look on my face. I'm sure he could read me like a book. I'm sure he could see how terrified I was of what was to come. My hands were shaking as I dropped my bag on the floor of the cave. Jasper looked into my eyes. I think he was trying to reassure me with the blue oceans that were his eyes.
He leaned against the wall of the cave and just stared at me. He was waiting for me to make the first move. It was evident in the way he wasn't moving or even saying anything. He could see how scared I was and didn't want to do anything that would scare me more.
After a while of just standing there staring at each other, I decided that if I wanted to please my husband, then I needed to act. I gathered the strength I had and took a deep breath. As I stepped toward him, I was sure that he thought I was having convulsions because my whole body was shaking so hard. I took a very slow step toward him and stopped. Suddenly I was more nervous than before. I decided that maybe I needed to just push everything aside and get this over with as fast as possible. If my body caused the same reactions within him that his did with me, then the best way to handle this was to just start taking off my clothes.
I started with the zipper of my dress. I slowly reached behind me, and carefully and painstakingly slow pulled the zipper down toward my waist. As it reached the bottom of the zipper, I pulled the shoulders of the dress down. I heard his intake of breath but could not see any other reaction from him. Was he affected at all? I put the thought out of my mind. If I continued that line of thought, I would lose my nerve to finish this task of seducing my husband. I don't think I would ever get used to having a husband.
I pulled the dress down and it pooled at my feet. I watched Jasper as it fell. His hands that were at his sides fisted. His pants got a little tighter. His face showed no reaction though. So I wasn't sure what to make of his pants or his hands.
He took a step toward me. "Do you know how beautiful you are to me? Do you know how much you mean to me?" he asked while he took extra slow steps toward me. I shook my head.
"I only know how much you mean to me. You saved me, Jasper. You put me back together, when I don't believe anyone else could have. All I wanted to do was die and you helped me step back from that ledge." I took a deep breath.
"You are the reason my life is what it is now. You are the reason I am who I am today. You saved me from myself when I didn't even realize I needed to be saved." He was standing a foot away from me now. My heart rate accelerated. He put his hands on my shoulders and lowered his face to mine and rested his forehead on mine. "Thank you for saving me, Alice. I will forever love you." His lips crashed down on mine and all nervousness was gone.
My hands found their way into his hair and grabbed fistfuls of it, pushing his lips harder onto mine. He took his hands and started undoing my under garments. Soon I was naked. He stepped back and took me in. I started to blush and placed my hands on my breasts, trying to conceal what little I could.
He took my hands and placed them at my sides. "Have I told you how beautiful you are?" A small smile found its way onto my lips. I nodded shyly, looking at the floor. "Well you are. You're absolutely gorgeous. I'm so glad you're mine."
His lips found mine again. They weren't forceful and they weren't too soft. It was the perfect combination. He was so sweet. I could tell he was willing to take things at my pace. The speed I needed them to be.
I don't know where it came from but suddenly I found my strength and the vixen inside me. I started unbuttoning his shirt. He grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes. "Are you sure? I can do it if you would like."
I shook my head at him and went back to my task. I finished with the buttons and freed him of the shirt. I looked at him and couldn't believe what I saw. His body was magnificent. He had perfectly sculpted abdominal muscles. His whole upper body was muscles. I don't know how he managed it but he looked wonderful. I was starting to get hot.
Something was happening to my body. I wasn't sure what it was. I felt a tightening in my stomach. I felt my panties get wet. I was sure I was about to explode if I didn't get my hands on that body. I raised my hands and put them on his chest. I traced every muscle he had. They made their way down to his waist line and unbuttoned his pants.
"Let me do this part. I'm not sure I'd be able to keep myself off you if I didn't," he said pushing my hands away. I let him this time. I was sure I would want to see this part. I watched as he pushed his pants and long underwear down around his ankles.
The sight before me shook me to my core. That was supposed to fit inside me? How? How was that going to work? He's huge!
He looked back at me with my wide eyes and smiled. "It's alright, honey. I promise you. I won't hurt you." He softly placed his lips on mine and all my worries went away with the wind.
I felt myself being lowered on to a blanket on the floor of the cave. I felt him align himself with my entrance. I felt his tip poke me. I looked into his eyes and saw all the gentleness and love that I needed at that moment to take away all my fears.
He just laid there for a few minutes kissing my lips and then moving to my neck. I never felt anything like it when he put his lips on my neck. It was the best feeling I have ever felt. I knew if I didn't start taking a bit of control, he would take forever. So I lifted my hips and he slid inside me. Had I thought his lips on my neck felt good. When he slid inside me, it was like electroshock therapy. Dozens of lightening bolts wet off inside my head. But he was holding himself back. He wasn't letting himself go all the way inside me. "Jasper, what's wrong?" I asked him in a whisper.
"I don't want to hurt you. It'll hurt if I go any further." That's when I remembered something else that my mama told me about the wedding night.
I quickly thrust my hips up. The pain hurt but it was a good hurt. It excited me. Jasper waited a few moments for the pain to subside and then started to move in and out of me. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do but my legs had a mind of their own, it seemed. They stretched up and wrapped around his waist.
Ecstasy. Pure ecstasy. That's the only way I can describe how it felt. My body started to shake lightly but not from nerves this time. This time it was from excitement. Fulfillment.
After a few more moments, I felt Jasper spill his seed inside of me. He laid himself down next to me and I cuddle up to his side. "That's not exactly how I planned on our first time being."
My heart dropped. I wasn't good enough. I hadn't pleased him. A single tear slipped out and onto his chest. He leaned up and looked down at me. "What's wrong, Darlin'?"
"I wasn't good enough, was I? I didn't please you. I'm so sorry. Please give me another chance to learn how to please you," I rushed to say as more tears slid down my cheek.
"What? Honey, what I meant was that I hadn't planned on our first time together being in a cave. You were wonderful. Trust me. You were great. And, Darlin?" I looked into his eyes. "I plan on us having many more chances."
